The Boy In The Mirror
The Boy In The Mirror-Installment 2
Broken Tears Across a Million Pools of Sorrow
Diary: Dima, November 14th
"...Did you ever, just for one moment... feel as if you reached a point in your life when you realize you couldn't go back? That even by age 15, you felt as if your life thus far had permanently been etched into stone, and no matter how much you fought, you couldn't get back the wasted years, the choices you had made were irreversible? No matter how much someone told you how stupid you were being for thinking that way, that it was never to late... you felt it was hopeless? I feel that way now. I dwell on things I wish I could have done a few years earlier, had I been a bit smarter, and did not take shelter in the comfort of my blankets of depression and self-loathing."
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6 AM. Dima, he's curled up tightly in the sheets of his waterbed. Breathing silently and rhythmically, his face shows traces of where tears once lay from the night's painful outcome. His lips slightly parted, his head laying to one side, snuggled comfily into a pillow. The air is cold, his bed is warm, as his sheets are pulled right up to the soft, untouched skin of his neck. A drop of water falls onto his cheek, cold and wet, and only more intensified by the cold wind which follows it-rain.
Dima stirs slightly, and whimpers softly at the discontent of having an icy drop of water smack him in the side of the head, who said he wasn't cute. He carried that boyish innocence with him even still. He acts subconsciously as he instinctively moves a soft, warm hand out from between his lower thighs to wipe away the droplet on his soft cheek. His hand drifts back to its original resting place, as he slowly returns to a deeper sleep... in the damp, and still-dark morning... with not a single sound besides the odd raindrop landing against his window... and floor.
!!!CRACK!!!
His eyes shoot open as his body is brought to attention by a surge of adrenaline, tensing up the muscles in his boyish body. Dima tries quickly to make sense of his surroundings. A thunderclaps. He calms down, his muscles slowly release under his blankets, and he lets his eyes focus on the green read-outs of his black clock; 6:01 AM. He moans unhappily. Too early to be woken up, he doesn't have to be up for another hour and a half before he has to get ready to haul ass off to homeroom. He slowly lets his eyes close one more... and just as the still-strong feelings of sleep seduce his consciousness... another icy-cold raindrop lands on the soft, pink smooth flesh of his lower lip. He slowly bites down on his lower lip.. allowing his tongue to soothe it's disrupted surface. Water. His eyes open again, a groggy feeling of uncertainty coursing through his mind.
Raindrop? What? Room? Whuuuh?
Slowly, Dima flips his practically lifeless body over to the other side of the bed, and looks up...
His mirror. Smashed... shattered. He looks to the floor, seeing... nothing. Not a single shard of glass
How the HELL did that happen? How the HELL did my mirror get busted? Where's the freaking' glass!?!?!? Busted!?!? What the..
A cold breeze blows over his exposed arm and face, diverting his attention to it's source and odd existence in his room. The window is open. He gets a sort of nervous and inquisitive look on his face.. one eyebrow higher than the other... he didn't remember having the window open, not at all. And he certainly didn't sleep walk. The wind picks up, blowing more raindrops into his room. He slowly tosses his legs over the side of the bed. He doesn't wanna even move. The warmth f his bed just drains his muscles of energy in a soothing, blissful way... and for a second he contemplates staying in bed, besides... the contrast of the cold wind and his comfy bed was kinda... cool! Screw it if his floor would get a wee bit wet. He almost stayed... and would have... if things just weren't so weird; the mirror. He removes his covers, exposing his naturally tanned flesh to the air of his room. God. Now he WISHED he hadn't done that... his body shakes slightly form his toes up to his head... teeth shaking. Shivering. He's only wearing a pair of blue-plaid Gap boxers... he musta taken off his pants before he settled into bed completely last night. He gets up, his well shaped, slender legs shaking slightly... walks over to the window and closes it. The school may have been relatively new but the windows they installed well, they musta cheaped out there. Held shut by a magnetic latch? Oh, real secure. but that didn't explain how it was opened... he didn't LOCK the window, but he didn't open them from the inside...
Just as he started thinking about that, another thunderclaps, and a bright light shone in from the dark clouds above. And then the faint sounds he usually ignored, like the heating ducts... vanished. Complete and utter silence throughout the room. He looks at his alarm clock... no light. Then it blinks, and the faint building sounds return... and then cease again. He tries the light switch beside him.. flicking it on and off a few times. Nothing.
Okaay... No school I guess...
Whatever. After last night, he just wanted to sleep in. And knowing this much in advance he could guilt-free return to his sleep and not worry about school was a really cool feeling. He used to love it back at home too, one unexpected day free of anxiety, no guilt of missing classes. As quick as possible, he literally jumped back into bed, a content smile formed on his lips. He closed his eyes and allowed the still-present sleep to seduce the rest of him once more...
Dima woke up again a while later... he found himself sprawled out freely across his bed. The power had yet to come on it seemed... his clock still missing it's neon glow. And his room was still pretty dark so he could only guess the weather was still shitty outside. Sure enough, turning around to look out the window, it was. Not as dark as before of course, but still as miserable. Interestingly enough... he took comfort in that though... he was safe inside... having the comforting ability to watch the ravaging weather outside. That and the fact he wasn't in school... it was a wickedly unexpected day for him, that sparked a lil sigh of joy in his timid heart.
He arose from his bed, noticing immediately the temperature in his room was actually nice... the emergency electrical system must be online he figured. He made his way slowly to the bathroom to relieve himself... maybe wake himself up a bit too. He walked by the mirror on his wall... and immediately got nervous again. But his priorities laid elsewhere... he was still sorta off. He figured he'd look around later on... but he stopped at it for a second.. and examined it. Smashed alright... but not a single trace of the missing glass on the floor. As if somehow... something, possibly someone smashed it and someone was kind enough to clean up their lil mess. How... nice of them! Course that didn't make ANY sense... I mean.. why the hell would someone...
Aiight.. so while I've passed out on my bed... someone... opens my window... comes in... manages to smash my mirror without me knowing... then cleans up the mess. Makes perfect sense! How fantastic! Infuckingcredible! What an age we live in!
The mere thought that someone might have been in his room, seemed totally illogical to him, but at the same time.. filled him with much fear. I mean... he didn't KNOW anyone here... no one seemed to have even notice him. Yet someone would do that? He suddenly started to feel like crap again... real scared but also really hopeless about finding any ounce of happiness here. Kids obviously were already fucking with him. He didn't DO anything, what the hell?!?! Still shaking, he made his way to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. The bathroom had this elliptical skylight in it. Initially he was too scared to use the bathroom, he felt like it was an invasion of privacy... like some freak might be on the roof looking in all the skylights... He kinda got over that though... I mean he wasn't gonna piss in the kitchen sink now was he! He stood in front of the mirror in the dim bathroom, reflecting a blue-tinted picture of Dima. He wasn't horrible he supposed... he could be fatter he giggled to himself. Btu then he felt guilty for those who were. His hair was a mess... it was too long to boot. He really should get a haircut. He hadn't had one in over 2 months... he looked like crap... he only realized that now. He didn't have time to think about that before however... there was too much shit in the air the last few months with school, his family, and his life. Other than that... he had to admit he wasn't repulsive... for once he actually looked for things on the outside which he found pleasing. He loved his eyes... they were a deep blue, and seemed to really stick out in contrast to his eyebrows and hair. Intricate wavy designs in them... getting more and more complex as they got closer to the pupil... his face was pretty flawless.. untouched by hair... a few freckles around his nose, which was another not-so-bad feature... it wasn't big, but it wasn't small, it was more or less average, drawn in ever so slightly to give him sort of a cute edge. He removed his boxers and let them slide down his slender legs to his feet... playfully he kicked them up and out of the way.. only to have them fall on his face. What excellent aim... he kinda stood there for a few seconds just bemused by the situation, but then tilted his head forward and let them slide off.
Dima turned on the water and jumped into the spray, only to be frozen stiff.. no hot water! He helped in such a high-pitched voice he hurt his own ears! After dancing around shakily in the shower in some unknown attempt to get warm and rid himself of the shock... he to get out still alive,,, shivering incessantly with that childish hum that kinda went hand in hand with shivering. His lips ere blue to say the least... he grabbed a towel and ran it down his arms, his smooth hairless chest, his legs, his lil butt... and dried off his... *blush* happy land, before he looked at his soaking hair in the mirror, hanging down in small dark curls along his forehead. He decided to leave his hair.. and carefully wrapped his blue towel around his lower waist. He reattached his blue and silver ankle bracelet and walked out. Lucky his room was warm or he would have frozen.
Just as he walked out, his phone rang. Someone was actually calling his room! A bit nervous and excited he ran to it almost jumpily, anxious to see who it was. I mean... no one really talked to him or made much contact besides the odd word from his mom now and then during the weeks. He picked it up and curiously asked...
Umm... Hello?
Hello to you too! Dima Prezzellar? said a woman's voice. Whoa.. someone that obviously wasn't his mom actually said his name!
Yeah... I think it is... I mean yeah! He stumbled kinda nervously.. but he was too anxious to have noticed
Yes well this is just main office. As you can see the power has been out for some time. And all classes have been cancelled.
Well that's a relief...
Whoa okay cool.... um thanks... you wouldn't.. you know happen to have the time.. would you? He asked kinda sheepishly
No problem, just doing my job... It is exactly... errrr... 8:51 AM. Oooh wicked timing to have woken up! He thought.
Okie... thanks!
Oh and Dima... Don't worry about everything else. Sometimes the answers are purely obvious. Behind there is a screen... take care.
Silence.. dead silence... the phone slipping from his hand... a look of total shock and fear strewn across his face. He couldn't think. Had he just imagined that? She like... made a brief and vague commentary on his situation in this school. How could that be? Maybe it was just protocol... like she could sense something in his voice. Intuition, he didn't know. Someone doesn't just... say things like that. but what really got him was the final quote. He knew that one. He fucking knew it. Why the hell would she have known to say it to him? Lines like that were personal to him. He knew where it was from... but he didn't think it was that well known with uncultured people he assessed in his school. At least in the musical category. He looked back at the mirror... he was in awe. He didn't know what to think. This... was just to weird.
He shook his head quickly. He didn't feel like changing. He kinda wanted to stay sorta... free. Besides.. he felt kinda sexy in merely a low-hanging towel. He went to a counter and grabbed a box of Cap'n Crunch. Stuff dreams are made of. He ate half the box, before deciding to have some with milk. He opened the fridge to find a carton of 'Homo Milk'... he bought it cuz he got a kick out of the name, but surprisingly it was yummy with his cereal. Upon picking it up... he realized the carton was empty. Shit, damn fuck! No milk! Argh! The fridge was still kinda cool anyways considering the powers was off... But what was he gonna do without milk? He could always eat the rest of the box WITHOUT it but.... waggn he wanted his milk! He pouted for a while. Getting milk meant going outside. That meant leaving the comfort of his room. That meant getting dressed. That meant too much work! And he couldn't like... ask anyone either, hell he didn't know anyone and it seemed hopeless to even attempt to try. He couldn't take any rejection a this point. Anything more would force him further into himself. He sat down in his big comfy beanbag chair, feeling defeated, frustrated, and pouting. he sighed.
Aaaaand there came a knock at the door. It just was his day wasn't it. Out of all the days he's been here, his mirror is mysteriously smashed and his window left open, he actually gets a call from someone in the school, and to boot they scare the shit out of him and intrigue him at the same time, he actually looks himself in the mirror for once and doesn't destroy every feature verbally, he actually has smiled and felt content... and there was no school due to the power outage! And now... a knock at the door!?!? Who could it be???!!! He took a second to gather his thoughts and then raced over to the door... "Ah! Social contact!" He thought to himself... he was smiling though.. kind of excited to see who it was...
Cautiously... Dima unlocks his door... and opens it up a crack, closing his eyes in anticipation, until he has the courage to look though... His excitement converted into anxiety and he was breathing shallowly... his eyes closed still.. and slowly he opens them... and his gaze is met at equal level, with a green eye and a half-visible smile directed to him. "YIIPE!" He thought. "OMG!!!!! Its a boy!!! Someone actually came to my door! For the first time ever!" As lame and pathetic as it seemed... he just had to absorb the moment for all it was worth, considering. Dima's look at the boy was of course narrow, and his own was one of shock, masked with a bit of excitement.
"Heyas!" Said the mystery boy...
Dima took a few seconds for it to register... an odd pause really. "Oh umm, Buenos Senior!" What the hell!?!?!? THAT was his response!?!? Holy SHIT! What the HELL was going through his mind!?!?! He had no idea where it came form. He could only suspect it was some sort of acting defense mechanism or something. He ahd to admit he was very anxious even though he was excited about this while thing but.... Did it warrant a goddamn greeting to someone who MIGHT actually have hoped to give a damn to him of "Buenos Senior!"
Ironically enough... the boy giggled! He found it funny! At first Dima was confused... this guy really didn't seem to care too much that he musta looked like a giant weirdo. There was something different about him... if he got a response like that. Be he seemed confident in his existence too, just by the tone of his voice, the way he SAID the only word he said, the look in his eyes, and how he stared at him intently though the crack in the door.
"Hehe! Um, uh... what can I do for you?" Asks a kinda baffled Dima.
"The question is dude, what can I do for YOU!" Said this mystery boy, with an inexplicable shit-eating grin. Assessing the boy who stood behind the door, and his current mental state. Something was going on, but for some reason... Dima liked it. But at the same time, he put up his defenses mentally, but in the shock the boy pushed the door open a bit more... and walked right past Dima, into his room.
Dima is in utter shock. Someone who obviously was unnaturally outgoing, sought out to talk to him. The first kid in this school who ever seemed to have noticed him, knocks on his door, giggles at Dima's social screw-up and then let himself into his room with a perplexing and suggestive statement. Dima couldn't explain it.
The boy was carrying a bag with something in it. It looked like a grocery bag... nothing dangerous. The boy looked around kinda in awe of what he saw.
Dima obviously, made decent use of his solitude and had designed his room in intricate detail. The walls were a mid blue. Hard to explain but it was an excellent colour. Blue in fact was his favorite. His bed frame was silver, with a sort of Tim Burton gothic style to it. Dima liked things with character. it showed in the furniture around his room. Posters were everywhere. Walls, ceiling. A black shelf holding a mass of CDs, a receiver, a turntable and a DVD/CD player. The TV was centered directly in front of Dima's bed. Truly it was an impressive room. He had two big black speakers situated on the sides of his bed, they sort of acted as night stands. Dima followed his gaze everywhere... trying hard to look at his room the way a newcomer like this kid might... hoping nothing seemed stupid. He boy.. satisfied... plopped himself down on the beanbag chair Dima had just recently occupied. He looked around again before looking back at Dima, who was still really really confused to even act or think about what was going on. Then the boy spoke up cheerily. He was actually pretty cute! A pair of black cargo pants which hugged a round lil butt. He had one! Not like some guys who had none at all! He actually had one! His upper body was wrapped in what seemed to be a light-blue sweater, relatively thin, but hugged his visible form nicely. He had the cutest hair... blonde and spiked at the top. This was... too much. He wasn't used to ANYTHING like this happening.
"Thought ya could use some milk!" Said the boy, with a genuine smile on his face.
Dima... was dumbfounded. How the hell could this kid have known he wanted milk, he showed up to his door just as he was thinking INSIDE HIMSELF that he was out and wanted some milk. Sure enough, the boy pulled out a carton of "Homo Milk" and held it up to Dima's gaze. Who was still looking at the kid.. really confused. He musta looked so stupid. The kid sensed it but understood. he playfully chucked the carton at Dima who didn't budge... and the carton his him smack on his forehead before Dima was jerked back into reality, and with a surge of adrenaline jumped and struggled to catch the milk before it hit the ground. The boy giggled again. Obviously at the site before him, and Dima's dumbfoundedness thus far. He was reveling in it. He spoke up.
"So... what's your name?" He asked
"Dima..." He responded, almost as if in a trance. This kid had him... the obvious shock of the whole situation obviously made him so vulnerable. And to boot... He was gorgeous. He was really confused now.
"No way! That's wicked cool! Dima! Sweet name! I like! Oh... I'm Jeremy!" He said with the sweetest of smiles. the mystery boy had a name. There was something really innocent about this kid. He was like... full of energy and excitement. He talked so carefree. Dima was captivated. And.. still too confused, still entranced about what was going on. he slowly mouthed the kids name to himself. Jeremy. "By the way..." he said. "Nice fuckin' towel!" He started giggling incessantly...