Birthday Blues
This story is about male/male and female relationships and contains graphic descriptions of sex.
You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your age or residence.
This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual person.
Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any website without the permission of the author.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "JasonCalme@yahoo.com".
"This fucking sucks," he said under his breath. He was standing looking out the window of his hotel room at the miserable landscape before him that was London in the middle of winter.
'Here I am,' he thought, 'far away from home, alone, on my fucking birthday, in fucking London, in the middle of fucking winter.'
It had been a long while since he'd felt this miserable. He wanted to call someone. Hear a friendly voice.
He looked at the pink slip of paper in his hand. At the message he'd picked up when he'd come back to the Hotel.
It had been from Her.
She'd called him. To wish him a happy birthday.
There was no invitation to call back. That was assumed. He figured she probably was hoping he'd call her. He almost wished that he could.
But he couldn't.
He had to get through this on his own. He'd made that choice. If he called her now, feeling the way that he felt, he was bound to do something he'd regret later. Like go back to her.
And he wasn't going to do that.
Just a few more hours of misery and it would be tomorrow and everything would be okay he told himself.
He thought about calling his Mom but then decided against it. He'd already spoken to her once and he didn't want her to know he was depressed. It would worry her.
Shit, it was just his birthday. Why was he so upset about it? He'd been away from home before on his birthday. This was no big deal.
But then he'd never felt so alone before on his birthday.
The restaurant in the hotel was small and very expensive. And it was busy.
He stood waiting for the young woman behind the counter to look up and notice him. She finally did and he asked for a table. She smiled warmly at him. She knew who he was.
"I'm sorry," she said, "but it'll be about twenty minutes. Will that be all right?" she asked.
'Twenty fucking minutes?! Twenty fucking minutes? Fuck you! I'm fucking Justin Timberlake! This is my fucking birthday! I'm not fucking waiting for twenty minutes you bitch!' he thought to himself.
He smiled.
"Sure," he said.
'Don't want to make a scene' he thought. Not today. Not ever. One day he'd just like to blow up at someone he thought to himself. Just once.
But he worried that if he ever did he'd never be able to stop. He'd just go off on everyone he met. Better to be a good boy. Suck it up. It's a fucking miserable day and it's not going to get any fucking better. Just keep moving through it.
"You can wait in the bar and I will come and get you if you would like," she smiled.
"Thanks," he smiled back.
The bar was even smaller. It was tastefully furnished and dimly lit. He could hide in a corner and no one would notice him. Not that he was that worried. It was an expensive hotel. He felt reasonably safe here. The English were much more reserved. They respected your privacy. He liked that.
He sat down at a small table, facing away from the door, and a waitress came over and took his order. She was back a minute later with the beer.
He sat there, trying to think of something pleasant. Or of anything. But his mind was blank. He kept thinking of the note. His mind drifted over the impromptu birthday party they'd thrown him at lunch time. A little cake and some gag gifts. He should be grateful. A lot of people got even less on their birthdays.
A lot of people didn't have the opportunities and successes he had.
So why was he so fucking miserable?
So fucking lonely?
Justin didn't even notice him at first. He was lost in his thoughts when he realized someone was standing next to him. Justin looked up. It was a young man, about his age. He had short brown hair, a warm smile, and he was handsome. He was also short and stocky. He looked like he was maybe only a little over five feet.
The man was smiling at Justin.
"Hey!" the man said, "is it okay if I sit here?"
Justin stared at him for a moment. His accent showed he was American. Justin glanced around. There were a few other people in the bar, but there were plenty of other places to sit. Justin wondered why the man wanted to sit with him. What did he want? Was he a fan?
His eyes came back to the man, who grinned, obviously aware that Justin was wondering why the man wanted to sit with him.
"I don't like sitting alone in bars," the man said.
That was about the stupidest thing anyone had ever said, but for some reason Justin couldn't say no. He shrugged and waved for the man to sit.
The man sat. "I was just joking," he said, "I wanted to sit at a window so I could see people go by. I'm expecting my sister."
"Oh," said Justin.
"I'm Sean," the man said, extending his hand.
"Justin," Justin replied, taking Sean's hand and shaking it.
"So you're not English then?" Sean said, smiling.
"No," Justin smiled, not adding anything. Did the man not know who he was?
"I'm from San Diego," Sean said, obviously expecting Justin to reply.
"LA," said Justin. Better to pick one address than list everywhere he called home. Maybe he should have said Nashville or Florida. It might have prompted fewer questions.
"Hey! We're neighbors!" Sean laughed.
"I guess," said Justin. The waitress came over and took Sean's order.
Justin wanted to say something, but his mind didn't seem to be working. And he wasn't really sure he wanted to talk to this stranger.
"So what are you doing here?" Sean asked.
Justin shrugged. What did he say to that? "Just touring around," he said. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't telling the whole story either. "What about you?" Justin asked.
"I'm here on a promotional tour," Sean answered.
"Yeah?" said Justin. "What for?"
"I'm in a band," said Sean. "With my sister and a friend. We're called Nickel Creek."
Justin sat there for a moment. The name sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn't really place it.
"We're kind of an acoustic...bluegrass kind of...well we don't like to be pigeon holed, but then who does?" Sean said, holding Justin's stare for a moment.
Justin nodded. "I think I've heard of you," he said. He thought it was the polite thing to say. He knew he couldn't have named a song by them, or even had any idea what kind of music they played, but he wanted to be polite.
Sean suddenly started feeling around in a pocket of his jacket. He pulled out a CD, waving it in the air and smiling at Justin. He opened it up, took out a pen, and wrote something on the jacket. Then he closed the cover and held it out to Justin.
"Here you go," he said.
Justin reached out and grabbed it. "Thanks," he said, smiling. But Sean held onto the disc as Justin tried to take it.
"I'll trade for one of yours," Sean said, raising his eyebrows and smirking.
"Oh," said Justin, the smile vanishing. So Sean did know who he was. This had all been a set up to get to talk to him. He probably wanted something.
Sean let go of the CD, shrugging. "You don't have to if you don't want to. It's yours."
"No, no, I'll get you one. I just don't have one on me. Give me an address, I'll have it sent to you."
"It's okay," Sean said.
"No I will," said Justin. Suddenly he felt stupid and embarrassed. He'd let his guard down and this jerk had sneaked in. He just wanted to get away. He hastily pulled out a pen and piece of paper to write down Sean's address. Then he was going to go back to his room until his table was ready. Or maybe he'd eat in his room. This had been stupid. Why hadn't he done that in the first place?
He was just about to start writing when Sean's hand reached out and touched his. Justin's head snapped up.
"Justin, it's okay, I was just joking with you. I already have the CD," Sean said quietly.
"Oh," said Justin. He pulled his hand away from Sean, and started putting away the paper.
"Are you okay?" Sean asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," said Justin, smiling and trying to fake it.
"You know I just thought we could chat," Sean said quietly, "I'm not trying to hit on you or anything."
Justin's eyes widened. What did that mean? Did Sean think he would think that? Did Sean think he was gay?
Sean laughed. "Calm down man! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Justin said, feeling anything but. Why was he the butt of the joke today?
"Well you don't look it," Sean said.
Justin shrugged, looking down. "It's just...I had a hard day, that's all," he mumbled.
"I know what that's like," Sean said, smiling.
Justin looked up and nodded. He tried to hate the guy, but he seemed truly warm and friendly. Maybe he wasn't out to get something. Maybe he just wanted to chat with someone in the business. Maybe he was lonely from touring too.
"So what are you doing here?" Justin asked, trying to restart the conversation.
Sean started telling Justin about his band and their current promotional visit to London. They were just there for a few days before going off to Europe and then heading home. Then they had tours in the US and Japan later in the year.
Justin nodded as he listened. It all sounded very familiar.
"So what about you?" asked Sean.
Justin smiled. "It's just about the same. Except at the moment I'm doing it on my own. I'm used to doing it with the other guys. It's a lot harder on your own."
"I bet," said Sean. "It's really great to have friends to do it with. Sometimes they get on my nerves and all, but then there are other times..." and his voice trailed off.
"Yeah," Justin agreed.
Just then the woman from the restaurant came over and told Justin that his table was ready.
"Hey, it was nice talking to you," Justin said.
"Sure," said Sean, about to say something, but then he changed his mind.
Justin nodded to Sean and then followed the young woman back to the restaurant. She showed him to a table at the back that was private and secluded. He idly wondered if they had specifically intended to put him in this table, or if this was the first available.
Well, he didn't care. It was just what he would have wanted, and he hadn't had to wait long. And Sean hadn't been that unpleasant. Kind of nice really. A rather sweet guy with a cute smile.
Stop thinking that way, he told himself. You can't think that way...
The waitress had brought him another beer and he had been studying the menu for several minutes when he suddenly saw out of the corner of his eye someone standing beside him. He looked up and saw Sean smiling at him.
"Howdy," said Sean.
"Hey," said Justin, a little confused.
"So my sister stood me up; she got a better offer for dinner," Sean began.
"Oh," said Justin.
"I was wondering if I could join you?" Sean asked, indicating the empty chair across from Justin.
"Uh..."
"We don't have to talk if you don't want to. It's just the place is full and they told me it was over an hour wait."
"An hour?" exclaimed Justin. Things must have picked up, he thought.
"I guess we don't rate as highly as some other groups," Sean said, smirking.
Justin blushed.
"Just kidding," said Sean.
"Uh, okay, sure," said Justin, waving at the empty seat.
Sean sat down across from Justin and the waitress came over and asked him if he was going to have dinner. Sean said he was and she disappeared, returning moments later with a place setting and menu. She then asked him what he would like to drink. He ordered a beer, and she quickly returned with it.
Sean sat there quietly, studying the menu and not looking at Justin. By this time Justin had decided what he was going to have, and was studying his dinner guest. Sean was definitely cute. No, handsome, he thought. His height made him seem a little like a leprechaun, which made Justin smile to himself.
Justin wished he had a CD player with him so he could listen to the disc Sean had given him. Then at least he'd have some idea what kind of music Sean played.
Sean finished studying the menu and put it down, then he carefully looked around the restaurant, doing everything but look at Justin. Justin watched Sean, first with curiosity, and then with amusement. It was obvious Sean wanted to talk, but he was trying very hard not to.
"You can talk to me," Justin finally said.
Sean turned to face him. "I can?" he asked in an almost shocked voice, though he had a huge smile on his face.
"I'm not a total asshole," Justin said.
"That's good to know," said Sean.
"Sometimes I'm just sick of things, you know?"
"Yeah."
"I just had a really bad day," Justin went on, not sure why he was talking like this. But he wanted to get things off his chest and he knew he was going to talk to Sean about it
Justin tried really hard not to say things. To keep some of his life private, but he kept opening his mouth and saying stupid things when he should know to shut up. He just couldn't help it.
"I've had days like that," agreed Sean.
Justin groaned to himself. He was coming across as an asshole.
"Okay, well, anyway I'm sorry if I was rude before," Justin began. "I just...I didn't know who you were or what you wanted," he stopped, figuring that was enough of an apology.
"So you want to tell me what went wrong today?" Sean asked him.
Justin frowned. He didn't want to tell him anything. Just shut up and keep his mouth closed.
"Former girlfriend trouble," Justin shrugged. It wasn't really the truth. Maybe it was because he lacked a girlfriend, that was the trouble.
"Oh, sorry," said Sean.
"It's my birthday," Justin said before he could stop himself. Then he blushed. Shit! He thought to himself. Here he was so desperate he was telling this guy everything about himself. He was coming across like a big spoiled baby.
"Hey! Well happy birthday!" said Sean, and he picked up his beer in salute and Justin picked up his and they tapped them together and Sean said "All the best!"
"Thanks," said Justin and he looked away sadly.
"Birthdays away from home are a drag," said Sean.
"Yeah," agreed Justin.
The waitress appeared and asked them what they wanted.
"When in Rome," said Sean, smiling, and he ordered Fish and Chips.
Justin thought about it for a moment and decided to change his order. "I'll have the same," he said.
"So how long are you away for?" Sean asked.
"Another week," said Justin, "Then I go back home for a bit."
"To LA?"
"Yeah, probably," said Justin.
"Probably?"
Justin shrugged. "Or maybe somewhere else, don't know yet."
Sean was puzzled.
"I may go stay with family or...I may go..." and Justin was about to say 'another house,' and then he was embarrassed. That seemed so pretentious. He decided to just shut up.
"Okay," said Sean.
"So what are you working on at the moment?" Justin asked Sean.
"Oh, well we are promoting the last album, and touring, and I've been working on a solo album which will hopefully be released in a couple of months."
"A solo album?" said Justin.
"Yeah, you have any experience with that?" Sean asked, smiling.
"No," said Justin grinning widely.
They chatted through the meal about this and that. Enjoying each other's company. They discovered that they'd both been performing for most of their childhood, and though Sean hadn't experienced the hysteria and mass success that Justin had been witness to, they had a lot of common experiences and feelings about working in music.
By the time dinner had finished Justin was starting to think that Sean could be a friend.
But then reality came back to him. He was on tour. Sean was on tour. They'd probably never see each other except casually now and again.
Having felt a lot better since Sean had joined him, Justin started to feel depressed again.
The waitress came over with the bill and Justin took it. "You can get the next one," he said, though he didn't really expect to have dinner with Sean again.
"Sure," said Sean. "So what are you doing now?"
"I'm gonna go and watch a bit of TV and get an early night," Justin said. They both had risen from the table and were making there way out.
"You're not going out to party?" Sean asked. He was surprised. Justin had a bit of a reputation as a playboy, or at least it seemed that he did. Sean just assumed that Justin would go out and hook up with someone.
"Nah," said Justin. "Not in the mood."
"Oh," said Sean. They stood together just outside the entranceway to the restaurant. "Well I really enjoyed having dinner with you Justin."
"You too, Sean."
They shook hands and then Justin turned and went to the elevators.
Justin got back to his room and lay down on the bed and flipped on the TV. There was nothing on that he was interested in watching. He could feel the depression coming back.
He wondered if he should call his doctor. Maybe he should go into therapy. It seemed like he'd been depressed for weeks. Ever since the album had come out. It was so hard to stay up after that. It was like climbing to the top of a mountain and now you were sliding down the other side. You still had the experience from being on the top, but as time went on, the memory receded, and you realized that all you had in front of you was more down. The best had already happened.
He lay there, not thinking much of anything, when he suddenly realized he was crying. Tears were running down his face. He was shocked. He was crying. He didn't even know why. Well he did know why, but then again he didn't. It felt so odd.
He just lay there, sobbing quietly and breathing heavily. Just let it out, he thought. In a few minutes it'd stop and he'd be better he thought to himself.
There was a knock at the door. He nearly fell off the bed in surprise. Who was knocking on his door? He was about to call downstairs and ask for security, but then maybe it was something innocent.
"I'm coming," he called as the person knocked again.
He climbed off the bed and quickly looked in the mirror. His eyes were red and he wiped at them, getting rid of the tears. Okay, he didn't look too bad.
He went to the door and looked through the peephole and saw one of the waiters from the restaurant. He wondered if he had left something there.
Justin unlatched and carefully opened the door. What he saw caught him by surprise. The waiter was holding a large birthday cake with 'Happy Birthday Justin' written on it, and a large single candle in the center. Arrayed behind him were three other people holding instruments. One was Sean, holding a guitar, another guy held a mandolin and the third was a girl with a fiddle. They immediately began playing and singing a strange version of Happy Birthday made up of bits and pieces of different birthday songs. It was funny and played at break-neck speed and Justin just stood there listening, a huge smile on his face.
The song finally finished and they all cheered and the cake was held up in front of him and they were shouting 'make a wish!' and Justin thought for a second and then blew out the candle. They clapped and Justin stepped back and the waiter brought in the cake and placed it on the table in the room. He then went out and wheeled in a little cart with plates, a knife and a bottle of champagne and glasses.
Sean and his band mates had entered, putting down their instruments. The waiter quickly opened the champagne and poured three glasses and then Sean gave the waiter a tip as he left.
"Justin, let me introduce my fellow band mates," he said. "This is Sarah my sister, and this is our friend Chris."
Sarah was short, just like Sean, with long brown hair and she wore glasses. She wasn't 'model' attractive, but she was still pleasant enough to look at. Chris was tall and gangly, with a mop of blondish brown hair and an impish expression. Justin gave Sarah a quick hug and shook Chris's outstretched hand.
"Thanks, you didn't have to do that," said Justin.
"Oh yes we did," said Sarah smiling, and she poked her brother. "Sean insisted."
Justin glanced at Sean and saw him blush.
"Well I just figured no one should be alone on their birthday," Sean explained.
"Thanks," said Justin, genuinely grateful, though suddenly self- conscious and wondering if Sean could tell he had been crying.
Sean handed the knife to Justin and he carefully cut the cake and the four of them sat around eating cake, drinking champagne and chatting. They made jokes and laughed and Justin started to really enjoy the moment. But after a little while both Chris and Sarah said they had to go and they got up and wished Justin a happy birthday and left.
Justin waved good-bye to them and then turned back to Sean.
"Thanks," he said again, smiling at Sean.
"You're welcome, I wanted you to have a good birthday."
"You didn't have to," Justin said.
"Yeah, I did," said Sean, and he pulled out a little present.
"A present too, oh man, you didn't have to," Justin repeated.
"I wanted to."
Justin opened it. It was an unlabelled CD.
"It's a copy of my solo CD. There are only four or five copies of that at the moment," he said smiling.
"Thanks...thanks very much."
Then Sean brought out another package that had been under the cart. It was a gift basket with different foods and a bottle of champagne and a little stuffed animal. Sean shrugged. "It was the best I could do on such short notice."
"Hey, that's...really, thanks Sean, thanks very much."
Justin suddenly felt sad again and he had to wipe at his eyes.
"Are you okay?" Sean asked him, stepping closer.
"Yeah, yeah, just something in my eye," Justin lied.
"Looks like it's in both eyes," Sean said, now standing next to him. "Let me look," he said.
Justin tried to push him away, but Sean was persistent. Justin looked down into Sean's eyes. He tried desperately to pull himself together but Sean was pulling him to him and Justin was leaning against Sean. It felt a bit ridiculous, as Sean was almost a head smaller than him, but Sean gently lead Justin back to the bed and then sat down next to Justin and Justin leaned his head on Sean's shoulder and started to cry. Sean just sat there, one arm around Justin and patting him on the back.
"Felling better?" Sean asked. Justin stirred. He'd almost fallen asleep sitting there next to Sean. He felt embarrassed. He couldn't believe he'd gone to pieces in front of a stranger.
"I remember I was away from home one time and things were going wrong and I just went to pieces," Sean began, "I cried for like a day and was just miserable."
Justin wiped at his eyes. "That must have been some time ago," Justin said.
"No, it was a couple of weeks ago actually," he said, seriously.
Justin looked at Sean and couldn't help it. He laughed. He was grateful Sean was making excuses for his behavior. He still felt stupid, but he didn't feel so embarrassed.
"You tired?" Sean asked Justin.
"Yeah," Justin said. He really was tired. He wanted to go to bed, but he didn't want Sean to go either. He didn't want to lose this new friend so soon. But what could he do?
"You know, I'm so drunk I don't think it's safe for me to drive home," Sean said.
"Huh?"
"Would it be okay if I camped out here?" Sean asked Justin.
"Uh," Justin was shocked again. Sean kept doing this to him. What was he saying? Suddenly he wondered if Sean was interested in him. And as much as Justin had wanted Sean to stay, suddenly he felt afraid.
"Uh...I'm not..."
"I promise I won't touch you," said Sean smiling, "I just thought you might like the company." Then he looked at the huge king-size bed. "Besides, a family of four could live in this bed!"
Justin smiled.
"Uh...I don't..."
"Okay," said Sean, shrugging as though he couldn't care less. "Well I better be going," he said, standing up.
"No, wait!" Justin said, a little louder than he had intended.
Sean stopped and turned around. Justin stared into his eyes. He'd blown it. Before he could have just said 'sure' and it would have happened. Having turned down the advance, he now had to extend the invitation himself.
"Uh...I...um," he began, "...thanks for the presents and the cake Sean," he said sadly, chickening out.
"Sure," said Sean, smiling.
Justin got up and followed Sean to the door. He felt a bit wobbly on his legs. A bit disoriented since he had just woken up. Sean glanced back at Justin.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
Justin was going to dismiss it, when he realized he had another chance. "I'm feeling a bit woozy," Justin said, and started to stagger just a little.
Sean came back to Justin and took his arm.
"Here, let me help you," Sean said, and lead him back to the bed. Justin made a weak protest. Nothing that would have deterred Sean, but enough to keep up the front.
Sean helped Justin sit down.
"You okay?" Sean asked.
"Yeah, I guess," Justin said, "maybe it was me that drank more than I should have," Justin joked and looked up at Sean.
Sean smiled back. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah," said Justin. He wanted to say no. But to say he wasn't okay would be stretching the truth, and as much as he wanted to get Sean to stay, he didn't want to lie to him.
"Why don't you get into bed? I'll stay for a bit to make sure you're okay."
"Okay," Justin said, looking up into Sean's eyes, a grateful smile on his face. "I gotta go to the bathroom first."
Justin got up, Sean watching him closely. "I'll be okay," Justin said, and walked slowly into the bathroom. He closed the door and stood in front of the sink, breathing heavily. What was he doing? Why was this happening?
Justin washed his face and brushed his teeth and then went back out to the room. Sean was sitting on the chair reading a magazine. He glanced up when Justin came in, smiling at him.
Justin took off his shirt, pulled off his sneakers, and then unbuttoned his jeans and let them drop to the floor. In his shorts and t-shirt he climbed into bed.
When Justin looked over at Sean he saw that Sean had been watching him. Justin blushed.
Sean put down the magazine and walked over to him. Justin began to get nervous. What was Sean going to do now?
"You okay?" Sean asked.
"Yeah," said Justin.
"You want me to go or stay?" he said.
"Ah..." Justin hesitated. He so much wanted Sean to stay, but he couldn't bring himself to ask him to.
"Is it okay if I stay?" Sean asked.
"Sure," Justin said, barely squeaking out the word.
Sean smiled and walked around the bed to the other side. Justin watched as Sean quickly stripped down to his underwear and hopped into bed.
Justin hadn't realized just how big the bed was. Even though Sean was now in bed with him, it seemed like he was half way across the room. They looked at each other and smiled nervously.
"You okay Justin?" Sean asked.
"Yeah," said Justin. "I'm gonna turn out the lights," he said, and he reached out and flicked the switch and the whole room was plunged into darkness.
Justin lay there as his eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. He started to see shapes and could now make out Sean.
He felt Sean sliding over towards him. Justin's heart was beating faster and he was nervous.
"Happy birthday Justin," Sean whispered. He was still a foot or so from Justin, but he was close to him.
Justin rolled onto his side to face Sean. "Thanks for...thanks for everything. I was really miserable and you've been really nice to me."
"Hey, I like to do things for my friends."
Justin smiled. "Well I'm glad I'm a friend," he said.
"You're welcome," said Sean.
They smiled at each other. Justin stared into Sean's eyes. He couldn't quite tell what he saw there, yet Sean had been so nice to him. He was warm and friendly. And he was cute. Justin leaned forward, not even really thinking, just giving into the feelings.
He was inches away from Sean. He reached out his arm to bring Sean closer to him.
"Ah Justin..." Sean said, almost clearing his throat.
Justin startled and opened his eyes.
"Um...Justin, I'm ahÉsorry if you got the wrong idea..."
"Idea?"
"I'm straight."
Justin's face fell. He leapt out of bed.
"Shit! Shit!" he exclaimed, slapping his head and pacing back and forth.
"It's okay Justin, it's okay," Sean said to him, but Justin wasn't listening. He was cursing his life, and everything. Just when he thought he'd survived the worst day of his life, it got a thousand fold worse.
"I don't believe this," Justin muttered to himself. He was starting to cry. He didn't know what to do.
Sean jumped off the bed and came over to Justin, trying to get his attention. He put his hand on Justin's shoulder and Justin jumped and turned around.
"No!" Justin yelled, "Don't..."
"It's okay Justin, I'm not upset, I'm not going to tell anyone," Sean said to him quietly.
Justin recoiled. "No! No! Nothing happened. You've got it wrong...I wasn't..." and then he stopped. He saw Sean's face and he knew he couldn't lie his way out of this.
"Shit!" Justin exclaimed, and sat down on the chair, burying his head in his hands.
Sean crouched down beside him, rubbing Justin's back. "It's okay," he whispered, "Really, it's okay. There's no need to get upset about this."
"I'm sorry," Justin said, "I've just been upset," he threw out, hoping that maybe he could use it as a cover.
"Hey," said Sean, "touring and stuff is really draining and you get lonely. I understand."
"Yeah," Justin half laughed. Maybe it was going to be okay.
"It was nothing, okay? Let's just forget about it," said Sean.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"No problem," said Sean. "Hey, if anything I'm flattered. I almost wish I could tell people!" and he smiled at Justin. Justin rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. "See," said Sean, poking Justin, "it's okay, nothing bad happened."
Justin took a deep breath. "Yeah, well, God! It was about the perfect end to the worst day of my life."
"What! You're saying sleeping with me is bad?!" and he playfully poked at Justin who pretended to defend himself.
"Yeah, well at least this day is finally over..." said Justin.
There was a knock at the door.
They both froze, looking at each other. Neither moved.
There was another knock.
"Are you going to get that?" Sean asked quietly.
"Ah, I don't know," said Justin.
"It's your door," Sean pointed out.
Justin walked over to the door and looked through the peephole.
"Shit! Shit!" he whispered, stepping away form the door and balling his fists and shaking them in agitation.
"Who is it?" Sean asked.
"It's Britney! Shit! Shit! Shit!" said Justin.
"Um, what do you want to do?" Sean asked.
"I don't know!" said Justin as there was another louder knock at the door.
Sean started to grab up his clothes.
"Quick!" exclaimed Justin, "into the bathroom!" and he shoved Sean, clutching just his pants, into the bathroom before he could protest.
Justin quickly pulled on his own pants and went to the door and opened it.
"Britney!" he triad to sound surprised.
"Hey baby!" said Britney. "Did I interrupt anything?" she asked, scanning the room. Justin nervously glanced at the bathroom and Britney's eyes played over the closed door.
"Uh...no!" said Justin.
"Well, happy birthday baby," she said, holding up a large shopping bag.
"You didn't have to Britney," Justin began.
"Of course I did!" she said, handing the bag to him. He glanced into it and saw some clothing. Britney was always trying to get him to wear clothes she picked out that he hated. It was one of the things he'd started to resent.
"So what are you doing here?" Justin asked.
"I came to wish you a happy birthday!" she said, as though it was a stupid question, and she opened her arms to hug him.
Justin shook his head and stepped back, "Britney, thanks for...thanks for this," he said holding up the bag, "but I've told you before, I don't want to go back to...we can be friends...maybe, but that's all."
"Oh don't be stupid Justin," she said, waving her hand at him dismissively before going over to the mini-bar and looking in the fridge.
"Don't be stupid?" he said, getting mildly angry.
"Face it! You need me, you want me, and I'm the same way," she said. She pulled out a bottle of Coke and unscrewed the top. She started searching for a glass.
"I need you and I want you?" he repeated.
She looked up at him. "You really should read some of your interviews Justin. It's pathetic!"
"Pathetic?" he repeated. Now he was getting ticked off. What was this? What exactly was she trying to do?
"Justin, you're not over me, and I'm not over you." She poured some of the Coke into the glass, and then she pulled out a bottle of rum, unscrewed the top, and topped the glass up the rest of the way.
"Yes I am," Justin said.
"No you're not."
"Yes I am," Justin countered.
She took a drink and then stared at him levelly. "You are, are you?"
Justin thought for a moment. "Okay, maybe not completely. But almost, and I want to be. So that's it."
Britney shook her head, "Justin, Justin, Justin. Everyone wants us to be together. We're supposed to be together. We can't disappoint the fans."
"The fans?" Justin sneered. "Or do you mean the media?"
"The media makes the fans. They've had fun with your little pissed off, wronged boyfriend performance, but you can only play that for so long before it starts to grate. It's time to move on to the next act."
"The next act?"
"Yeah. We get back together."
"And then what?"
"Justin, you know what then..." said Britney, giving him a 'why are you acting so dumb' stare.
"No, remind me. I didn't see the memo," Justin replied petulantly.
"Justin, marriage. We need to get married."
"I told you no," Justin almost yelled.
"No Justin," Britney replied quietly, "you said you didn't want to, but that's got nothing to do with it. You've been shooting your mouth off all over the place about the things we've done." She paused and Justin blushed. "How am I supposed to feel Justin?"
"I never forced you to..." Justin began.
"And I never said you could use it to promote your album!" Britney snapped.
"That's not why I..."
"Well that's not important now," replied Britney dismissively. "We get married and everything's fixed. It's all forgotten."
"I don't want to..."
"Marriage is the only way to recover our virginity Justin."
He stared at her.
"You mean you virginity?" Justin snapped.
"Okay yes. But just remember that your cute and clean image is at stake too!"
"Maybe I don't want..."
"This has not what this is about," Britney interrupted.
"Then what is this about?"
"Publicity Justin. We get publicity," she went on. "This will cement us as the power couple Justin. There's no downside to this."
"Yes! Yes there is," Justin almost exploded, "I don't want to marry you."
"So?"
"What?"
"So you don't want to marry me. That's got nothing to do with anything."
"Britney...I'd...I'd like to still be friends, but I don't want to be anything more than that," Justin pleaded.
"That's fine. Look we get married, a couple of years from now we separate, get back together, divorce. It's a classic story. They'll eat it up."
"And what if I don't love you?"
"Oh fuck that! You can still bang your groupies," Britney said, and she walked over to the bathroom door.
Justin's face fell. He didn't know what to do.
"Britney!" he said, but she was turning the doorknob.
"It's locked!" she said in mock surprise, turning to Justin. "Do you want me to call down and get them to unlock it for you?" she smirked.
"Okay Britney, just go. Okay? Just go. We'll talk about this some other time."
"Sure," she smiled, and then the smile vanished, "but I just want to see the competition," and she turned and banged on the door. "Hello in there!" she called, "can you open the door?" She knocked a couple more times.
The door opened and there was Sean, in his jeans and t-shirt.
"Well!" said Britney and she turned to face Justin, a curious expression on her face. "Well I wish I could say this was a complete surprise but then...well frankly..."
"Britney, it's not what you think," Justin pleaded.
"Oh, of course not!" she smiled insincerely. "I'm sure it isn't"
Justin stood there, not knowing what to say.
There was a knock at the door.
No one moved.
There was another knock.
Britney glanced at the door, and then back at Justin. "Aren't you going to get that?" she asked.
"Uh...why not!" said Justin, an exaggerated smile on his face. At this point, if it were a crazed fan with a chainsaw he wouldn't be surprised. Somehow he knew whatever was behind the door was just going to make things even worse, but there was obviously nothing he could do. All the planets were aligned against him today. He just reached out and opened the door.
"Hey baby!"
Justin stared in shock. It was Sarah, Sean's sister. She walked in and put her arms around him, one hand coming up to pull his face down to hers and she kissed him, a long deep kiss. He was so surprised he didn't know what to do or think. He just went with it.
She released him and then immediately started talking. "Are you and Sean ready yet?" she asked. "I've been waiting for you."
She suddenly noticed Britney and stopped in her tracks.
"Oh, hi!" she said, "I'm Sarah, and you are?"
Britney stared at Sarah coldly. She didn't say anything.
"Um...that's Britney," Justin said, "Britney, this is Sarah"
"Nice to meet you," Sarah said extending her hand. The two shook hands quickly.
Sarah glanced over at Sean. "Sean, are you getting dressed or what?"
"I was going to take a quick shower, but we were interrupted," Sean said.
"Well hurry up you two! I want to get there before the clubs close you know!"
"You're going out to a club?" Britney asked suspiciously.
"That was the plan, wasn't it?" Sarah said turning to look at Justin, who blushed.
"Ah, yeah," said Justin. "Sorry, we got held up. I wasn't expecting Brit to show up."
"Well come on baby, I wanna go out," Sarah said walking up to Justin and caressing his cheek.
"Are you two..." Britney asked.
"Oh, don't tell anyone would you please?" Sarah smirked at Britney. "We're trying to keep it a secret. I don't think it'd do anything for my career."
"Your career?"
"I'm in a band called Nickel Creek," said Sarah.
"How nice for you. What about him?" Britney said, pointing at Sean.
"Oh, that's my brother Sean. He's also in the band. Haven't you been introduced?"
"No!" said Britney.
"You are such a terrible host," Sarah said affectionately to Justin.
"Uh...sorry," said Justin.
"What am I going to do with him?" Sarah said to Britney, "He's so hopeless sometimes."
"Yes," said Britney coolly. She couldn't quite figure out what was going on, but she didn't like it, whatever it was.
"Well come on you two," said Sarah clapping her hands together. "Chop. Chop! Are you going to come too Britney? I'm sure my brother would love to have someone to dance with."
Britney cast her eye over Sean. Sean raised an expectant eyebrow. He was cute looking, but far too short for her. She'd look ridiculous photographed next to him.
"No, I've got to get going," Britney replied.
"Oh that's too bad!" said Sarah, though you could tell she didn't mean it.
Britney stood there for a moment. Then she seemed to gather her dignity together and she walked to the door. She stopped beside Justin and eyed him casually.
"So this is what you want?" she said quietly, casting a glance back at Sarah and Sean.
Justin stared at her for a moment. "I don't know what I want," said Justin quietly, "but I know it's not you."
Britney didn't even flinch. She shrugged. "I'll see you at the next awards show," she said casually, and walked out the door. Justin closed it behind her.
Sean and Sarah watched Justin close the door, both wondering what his reaction would be. Justin stood there, leaning against the door, his shoulders slumping, and it sounded like he was crying.
Sarah glanced at Sean and Sean glanced at her, feeling guilty. He'd taken a risk, thinking this might help Justin, but now he wondered if he'd just made it worse.
"Justin?" Sean called quietly.
Justin just stood there.
"Are you okay?" Sean asked quietly.
Justin turned slowly. Tears were running down his eyes and Sean felt terrible.
"Did you see her face!" Justin gasped out, and then he roared with laughter and fell to the floor.
Sean and Sarah looked at each other, both smiling. They both walked over to Justin who was giggling on the floor.
"So you're okay then?" Sean asked, an amused smile on his face.
"You're the best!" he laughed. "How'd you do that?"
"I just called Sarah on my cell phone!" Sean explained.
"He told me to come down and pretend to be your girlfriend because you were in trouble," added Sarah.
Justin managed to stand up.
"You were great!" he said, "that was...oh fantastic," and he hugged Sean, patting him on the back.
"I hope we didn't screw anything up for you" Sean said.
"No! No! That was...that was the greatest birthday present ever. Thanks!" And he grabbed Sarah in a hug.
Sean and Sarah smiled, then Sean glanced at his watch.
"You're welcome Justin, though it's after 12. It's no longer your birthday."
"It's isn't?" He said, glancing at his watch. Then he smiled. "Sure it is."
"Huh?"
"You forget. I was born in Tennessee. It's still my birthday there!" and he let out a loud yelp and danced around the room triumphantly.
"Looks like one of your hair brained schemes finally worked," Sarah said to Sean.
He looked at her in mock horror, as though she were defaming him, and Sarah just rolled her eyes.
Suddenly the room was filled with music. Justin had turned on the radio and he danced over and tried to pull them into the center of the room.
"What are we doing?" asked Sean.
"We're clubbing!" said Justin, hooting and dancing off.
Sean looked at Sarah and they both grinned and then they bounced towards the center of the room, and the figure careening about in giddy joy.
--- The End
Okay, this is my last Justin story. I think I'm done. But I just had to write this and post it today. I hope someone likes it (I liked it!) Yeah, there's no sex. I hope you're not too disappointed. If you want to feel better about it, consider this a prologue to 'All The Ways I Love You.' Jason