He was moaning and swearing when they wheeled him up at three in the morning from emerg. I took report on him over two hours previous and missed my break because them stupid asses downstairs said they needed to send him up right away. Yeah, sure. Where have I heard that garbage before? So here we are; me, a few co-workers on the unit, a couple of stupid asses from emergency, a worried mother, and her moaning and swearing son at three a.m. on a Saturday morning.
"Do you need help transferring him?" Stupid ass number one or Becky as her nametag stated, asked me.
"No, I figured with my telepathic powers, I could make him levitate and move to the bed by himself." I scowled. I was pissed off. My co-workers had a good chuckle, but Becky wasn't as impressed.
"Listen, I'm sorry but I got tied up downstairs and then I had to go for my break."
"Well, as long as you get your break." I retorted and then decided to let it go. Arguing with ER nurses is like wiping your ass with a hula-hoop.
"What do you got for me, Becky?" I asked as the lot of us quickly and gently transferred the patient from the stretcher to the bed.
"This is Corey, and Corey likes skateboarding." Becky sounded like she was Corey's aunt or big sister. I wondered in the back of my head how many times she got on his ass downstairs about the dangers of skateboarding.
"Hey, Corey. How old are ya? You look too old to be up here." I commented as I wrapped a blood pressure cuff around his bicep. This was a pediatric unit, and Corey didn't look very pediatric to me.
"He'll be 18 next week." His mom spoke up through tears.
"Eighteen, 'eh? Ain't that too old for skateboards?" I winked at Corey. "I think you're supposed to be moving on to motorcycles or something like that."
"Ugh!" Corey's mom groaned in horror. "Don't you dare give him any ideas."
I chuckled lightheartedly and nodded for Becky and her sidekick to leave.
"Well, Corey. I'm Elton. I'll be your nurse until morning."
"Elton?" My patient asked in what I read as disbelief.
"Yeah, Elton. Like the singer, only hopefully I'm better looking."
Both Corey and his mom laughed which I took as a good sign. I smiled.
"So, what brings you here?" I asked as I hooked him up to a monitor and recorded his vital signs.
"Was skateboarding with some guys and I fell." Corey grunted. "Hurts like fuckin' shit!"
"Corey, please!" His mom gasped.
Corey's right arm was broken and temporarily casted. I checked his IV lines and as I figured, one of them was a morphine drip.
"Okay, bud. I'm gonna give you some juice and get you feeling better. Mom, are you spending the night?"
"No!" Corey yelled before his mom could answer.
"Corey, I really should..."
"No way! Go home. You've been buggin' me all day. Go get some sleep."
I grinned and left the room to grab Corey's chart and take a gander at the Doctor's orders. This also gave Corey and his mom some privacy so they could duke it out over whether or not she should spend the night.
"Hey, Elton. How's the new kid?" Paula, the nurse in charge (and also my best friend) inquired.
"In a bit of pain, but he's okay. I'm just gonna give him a morphine bolus and get him settled." I mumbled as I skimmed through his medication orders.
"Sounds good. Holler if you need anything, hon."
"Thanks." I replied as I headed back to Corey and his mom.
"I'm okay. Just go home." Corey was whining as I stepped in the room and adjusted his morphine.
"Fine then. I don't feel like arguing anymore." His mom resigned before leaning over and kissing her son on the forehead.
"Ugh!" Corey groaned in disgust. "Go already!"
I chuckled out loud and Corey's mom shook her head.
"It's okay, mom. He'll be sleeping soon. He's in good hands." I reassured.
Corey's mom nodded silently and edged her way out of the room.
"Fuck! She treats me like I'm two!" Corey snapped.
"Yeah. You should take it easy on her. She's just worried about you." I went over to inspect his casted arm. "Can you feel that?" I inquired as I rubbed his fingers.
"Yeah." He answered, and then continued his rant. "She always worries about me. I hate it."
"She's your mom, Corey. She's gonna worry about you 'til she dies. 'Specially if you keep falling off of skateboards and bust up your arm. Any numbness in your fingers?"
Corey shook his head in reply. "I guess, but it's still fuckin' annoying."
"I know." I laughed and watched as Corey yawned. "Try and get some sleep. You're gonna have a big day tomorrow."
"Are they gonna operate?"
"Yup. I'm pretty sure, or you wouldn't be here."
"Will it hurt, Elton?" I stopped for a moment to look at my patient. His eyes were such a dark brown that I could barely see his pupils. At that moment, his eyes registered fear.
"It's not gonna hurt more than it does right now. Actually, it'll probably feel better."
"Serious?" Corey didn't look convinced.
"Would I lie to you?" I teased and tried to be upbeat and comforting. Corey eventually smiled and closed his eyes.
"How's your arm?" I asked as his morphine bolus came to an end. I adjusted the rate so it was back to normal.
"It feels better now. Thanks, Elton."
"No problem." I replied and absently slid my hand beneath his. "Can you feel that?" I asked.
Corey nodded in reply.
"Any numbness or tingling?" I asked.
Corey shook his head no.
"Can you move your fingers for me?"
Corey slowly wrapped his fingers around my hand.
"Good stuff." I smiled, but soon felt awkward when I realized that Corey wasn't going to let go of my hand.
"Elton?"
"Yeah, bud. What's up?"
"Can you sing like Elton John?"
I laughed nervously at the prospect of being asked to sing.
"Not if I wanna keep my job." I replied and we both laughed. Suddenly, the room was silent for a few moments, and I found that I couldn't look at Corey anymore.
"Elton?"
"Yeah, Corey?"
"You are, y'know?"
"I am what?"
"You're better looking than Elton John."
I looked at him quickly as my heart began to pound, and then shifted my gaze down to my feet. I thought about what he said for a minute, and pictured Elton John back in the days of the big sunglasses and glittery costumes. I laughed out loud. Was being more attractive than Elton John really an unattainable goal? I mean, if he's your cup of tea, then by all means. But seriously..."
"...Elton?" Corey broke into my thoughts.
"What's up, Corey?"
"I'm kinda scared."
I sat on the edge of his bed and lightly gripped his hand with both of mine.
"You're gonna be okay. I ain't lettin' anything bad happen to ya." I winked and Corey laughed.
"Cool, I got the best nurse on the floor."
"Damned straight." I joked back as my hand decided to grow a brain of it's own and shove itself in Corey's hair. Holy shit, did he have great hair; silky, and soft, and the color of Hershey chocolate. Wait...what the fuck am I doing? I broke out of my reverie and removed my hand from Corey's shiny locks. His eyes bore through me, and again I found that I had to look away. This was getting awkward.
"Thanks, Elton." Corey said sincerely, and then " Can you stay here until I fall asleep?"
"Uh huh. Maybe next time we'll let your mom stay, hmmm?"
Corey shrugged. "Whatever. It don't matter, this is kinda nice." His eyes again were piercing through me, but this time I met his gaze head-on. His eyes were completely breath taking. I felt his hand squeeze mine once more before his eyes closed and he fell asleep.
It was a slow night and I found myself glued to Corey's bedside when the one other patient that I had, was fast asleep with her mom and dad, and didn't need anything from me. It was seven-thirty when Paula came in the room and told me to go home.
"Long night?" Paula asked as I let go of Corey's hand and stretched -- standing up from the chair I had pushed to the side of the bed.
I didn't answer, but yawned in reply. Paula laughed and gave me a hug from behind.
"Go home, Elton. You're making the rest of us look bad."
"Hmmm?" I looked at her curiously.
"The rest of us spent the night chatting over at the desk, and here you are at your patient's bedside all night."
I chuckled and followed her out the door. Before I left the room, I took another look back at Corey and felt my heart thud against my ribs again. If only I were ten years younger. The thought made my stomach feel like a chunk of ice, and I left for home in silence.
I crawled into my bed around 8 a.m. and smiled. Fuck, the best part of working graveyards is this...sliding into cool cotton sheets in the morning, knowing that the rest of the day is yours to sleep away. This morning was particularly fabulous, for the fact that I didn't have to work for the next four days. I shoulda bought flowers for the person who made up my schedule. I lay my head on my pillow, rolled onto my right side as I customarily do, and was out like a light before taking my next breath.
As quickly as I fell asleep, was as quick as I woke up after the phone started ringing. It felt like I just crawled in under the sheets, but the clock read 3:30 p.m. when I reached for the phone.
"Hello?" I mumbled drowsily.
"Elton! Hey, it's Brenda. Any chance you can work a 12 tonight for overtime?"
One thing that sucks about not really having any social life, and always agreeing to work extra hours, is that you become the first person they always phone when they're in a bind. Part of me doesn't mind; I really love my job, and I don't really have a life outside of work. But sometimes... it's just nice to be home and in my own space without anyone needing anything from me. Maybe I should've invested in call-display. However...
"You always catch me half-asleep and vulnerable. Gimme a sec to come up with a good lie." I mumbled. Brenda laughed on the other end of the line but then put on the pressure.
"Please, Elton I'm desperate!" She begged. Shit, I coulda told her that by looking at some of the guys she dated. Be nice, Elton...
"We're short nurses tonight, and I really need you." Brenda continued her plea.
"Ugh!" I groaned. "Okay, fine but you better give me a good assignment or I'm gonna quit!" I lied. I would never do that but I was groggy and mad at myself for not saying no.
"I love you Elton!" was all Brenda said before hanging up.
"Fuck..." I groaned at the prospect of the rest of my day being a waste, waiting for the time to come when I'd have to haul ass and go back to hell. Work, I mean. Same fucking difference.
I rolled out of bed and headed for the kitchen. I grabbed a bowl out of the dishwasher, inspected it to make sure that it was, in fact clean, and fished through my cupboard for the new box of Count Chocula cereal I just bought a few days before. Oh, yeah! Count Chocula...my breakfast of champions. Or lunch...or supper...
"Oh, my God! You are not here!" Paula's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets as I walked through the double doors and headed for the front desk.
"That happy to see me, are you?" I snickered back.
"You're too dedicated, hon. Don't you ever say no?"
"Apparently not." I replied absently as I looked over my assignment for the night. Same as the night before. Corey...
"Hmmm...you got the hottie again, you lucky bugger!" Paula teased me as she kissed me on the cheek. I squirmed as she snaked her arms around my stomach and gave me a squeeze, but I didn't mind the affection. I loved Paula.
"Yeah, if only that did it for me." I replied, but felt awkward letting those words come out of my mouth. I felt strange, but Paula didn't seem to notice. She gave me another kiss and chuckled as I tried to dodge it. I failed to, of course.
Paula was 42 going on 21, and originally hailed from Australia. She was sharp as a tack, and a pistol to boot. She had a real maternal nature to her, which pretty much made her everyone's mother. It made her my best friend. Actually, Paula was the only family I had.
I met Paula years ago at the hospital, but ironically it was years before I went to University to get my nursing degree. I was in as a patient--healing from a pneumo and hemothorax from a punctured lung due to a car accident. I had a tube shoved through my ribs to drain my lung and I was in a lot of pain. Paula was my nurse, and somehow made my pain go away. We got along so well, and she took care of me since I didn't have anyone else. After I healed and was able to go home, we stayed in touch and were friends ever since.
It was Paula who talked me into becoming a nurse. At first I was dead-set against it. I wanted to be doing something more manly than wiping asses and cleaning up puke. Paula seemed to know me better than I knew myself, somehow. She encouraged me to consider it.
"C'mon, what are you afraid of?" She would always get on my case. "Good money, great benefits. You're being silly, Elton. There's lots of guys becoming nurses these days." Yeah, easy for her to say. She was a girl.
I was getting sick of working dead end jobs and took a chance. It was easy when you had an amazing nurse as a mentor outside of the classroom. She took me under her wing and showed me everything she knew. The rest, I guess is history. I graduated and she was there every step of the way. She was the only one to cheer me on at my graduation. I would kill for Paula.
"You in charge again?" I asked as I grabbed my stethoscope and headed down the hall towards my patients' rooms.
Paula bared her teeth like a Cheshire cat in response. I laughed. Paula always made me laugh.
I checked on my first patient who was a little five-year-old with some troubles with asthma. Making polite chitchat with her folks was easy. They were a great pair. A quick set of vitals and a listen to the girl's lungs was all it took and the parents took her for a walk around the hospital. I waved after them and then headed off to see my next patient.
"Mom, I'm serious!" Corey was pushing his mom away when I walked in.
"Well, what do we got here?" Corey jumped, as he didn't notice me walk in the room. "No boxing with mom for six weeks, Corey. You know the rules."
"Elton! Thank God!" He sighed and then turned to his mom. "Okay, mom. You can go now. Elton's here."
I smiled curiously and Corey's mom shrugged and turned for her purse.
"Who's going to wash you? Elton, Corey's a mess. And the smell..."
"Mom!" Corey yelled and I knew I needed to diffuse the situation a little.
"Okay, Corey. You need to calm down and let your mom help if she wants to. Anyway, it's just until your arm heals. How's your arm feeling, by the way? I heard they put some pins in it today." I brushed my hand over his right hand.
"It's okay," he said absently as he watched my hand move over his. "Doesn't hurt as bad as it did last night."
"Mmm hmmm. You feel that?" I asked softly as I rubbed his fingers.
"Yeah..."
"Any tingling? Numbness?"
Corey slowly grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Nope, and I can still move them."
"Okay," I smiled and remembered that his mom was still in the room.
"See mom? I'm okay. Go home and get some sleep."
"Okay, okay." She leaned in to kiss her son on the head, and this time he let her.
"Good night, dear."
"Night, mom. Get some rest." Corey sounded slightly worried about his mom and I looked at him curiously. Was the tough act for his benefit, or his mothers?
His mom smiled and patted my shoulder before she walked out of the room. Corey's eyes were fixed on the doorway for a while. I took the opportunity to get a set of vital signs before he switched his attention back on me.
"I thought you didn't have to work today?"
I looked at Corey carefully. I didn't recall having a conversation with him that included my work schedule. He must've gathered that from the look on my face.
"I asked the girl today if you were gonna be in, but she said it was your day off."
"Was supposed to be." I looked away and shrugged. "Shit happens, I guess."
"Yeah." Corey sighed. "I need a bath, Elton. Can I have one?"
"No, but I can get some wet cloths so you can freshen up a bit."
"No, man. I'm serious. I want a bath. Why can't I have one?"
"Because you can't get either arm wet. You've got a cast on one arm and your IV in the other. How do you expect to be able to wash yourself?"
"I'm not gonna wash myself. I'll keep them out of the water, and you can wash me." He said, appearing quite proud of himself.
I quickly looked at Corey and felt my heart pound and the crotch of my briefs feel tighter with the thought of bathing him. My face started feeling warm, and I wondered if I was blushing. Corey's eyes were twinkling, and he was grinning at me. Yup...face definitely resembling a shade of red.
"I...I don't know..." I stammered, but couldn't think of a good excuse with such short notice. Damn it! What's with everyone catching me off guard today?
"Elton, I'm serious. I'll do anything. I feel so gross."
"Okay," my mouth said before my brain had time to catch up and stop it.
Corey pushed down his blankets revealing a view of his torso I couldn't pry my eyes off of. He may have only been seventeen, but he had the body of a twenty-five year old. His chest and abdomen were smooth without any trace of hair. His chest wasn't overly puffed up...but rather nicely defined. His abdomen...oh, Christ! Why am I looking? What the fuck is wrong with me?
"Lemme go grab some towels and wash cloths." My mouth was dry and I wondered if he could tell since it was so hard for me to talk. " I'll get you a gown to wear."
"Don't bother." He winked at me. "I like sleeping with nothing on."
My eyes got lost in his again at the thought of him being completely bare under that thin blanket. My heart was beating irregular and I felt like I was going to pass out.
"Oh...o...okay." I stuttered like a stupid pre-pubescent twit. I seriously would've kicked myself if I hadn't been in such a state.
"Wicked, Elton! You're the best!"
I was in a daze as I walked out to the linen cart to score a few towels and some wash cloths. I put them on the counter by the sink in Corey's bathroom, and then turned and kneeled down to turn the water on and fill the tub. I adjusted the taps so the water would be just the right temperature. I kept a finger under the running water while the sound of it pouring put my mind into a daze.
"Don't fall in." Corey's voice behind me scared the shit out of me. I jumped up and backed into him accidentally, almost toppling the both of us over. He was laughing as he steadied me, and I turned around to face him so that I could utter an apology. He was unashamed, unafraid, and completely naked. My chest felt heavy, and it was all I could do to keep my eyes from roaming.
"I'm...I'm sorry. You totally scared the crap out of me."
Corey just smiled, walked past me pushing his IV pole in front, and slowly stepped in, and lowered himself into the tub. I grabbed a couple of wash cloths and put them both into the water after I kneeled down so that I could help Corey clean up. My hands were trembling slightly. I didn't know where to start.
"You okay, Elton?" Corey's voice broke into my nervousness. Get it together, shithead...get it together.
"Yeah. I'm just tired. Didn't sleep at all today." I lied and carefully picked up one of the wash cloths from the tub, and timidly started to wash Corey's back, trying not to pay attention to just how amazing his body was, even from this angle.
"That must be hard working all night." Corey commented as he let his head fall back a bit.
"You okay?" I asked concerned. "Your arm hurting?"
"No way. This feels so good, you have no idea. I never thought a bath could feel so fuckin' good."
"Oh..." was all I could stammer out.
I went back, awkwardly washing Corey's back in silence. Corey chatted on. About what? I wasn't paying attention. I was trying to figure out how his skin could be so soft when his body was so defined and hard. I leaned in a little more...becoming more comfortable as I washed his back. I guess I got into what I was doing. Corey turned his head to say something, and his forehead bumped my nose. I was horrified!
"I'm...I'm sorry. I..." I started to apologize, but Corey was having a good chuckle at my expense.
"Relax, Elton. Did I hurt you?" He reached over and touched my nose.
I shook my head wordlessly. I was feeling light headed and needed more air. I started breathing through my mouth; trying to get it together. What the hell was wrong with me?
"I think my back's clean now." Corey broke into my thoughts. I looked at him blankly, and he gave me a shit-eating grin. "Time for the front."
"Wha...?" My head must've been up my ass.
"My front, Elton." Corey scooted back so that I had better access to his front. Oh, God! Don't look...
I tried to focus and keep my eyes off of what was below his waist. I ran cloth over his chest and stomach, and then signaled for Corey to lift his arms up so that I could wash under them. When he lifted his arms, I was curious to see that he didn't have any hair under them. Not a trace. I looked at him questioningly as I rinsed the cloth in the water and brought it to one of his armpits.
"I'm a swimmer." He explained, and when my face still registered confusion, he went on. "Not really a swimmer, I prefer diving."
"I thought you were a skateboarder?"
Corey laughed, "Yeah, but I'm not very good as you can probably tell."
I smiled and nodded. "So you gotta shave under your arms to dive?"
"Mmm...not exactly. I mean I'm not forced to. It's just what everyone at the pool does."
"Oh..." I wasn't sure what to say. I never had any interest in any kind of sport whatsoever since before I could remember. There was an uneasy silence for awhile.
"I guess we're done." I leaned back and sat on my haunches. Corey looked at me; his eyes looked glassy and he shook his head.
"You missed a spot." He whispered, never taking his eyes off of mine.
"I'll let you wash yourself..." I couldn't think clearly. My eyes were lost in his.
"I can't, remember? I can't get my hands wet. You're gonna hafta wash it for me."
I didn't know what to do or say. I stared at him blankly and he grabbed the other wash cloth that was in the tub, and placed it in my hand. I swallowed hard, and squeezed some of the excess water out of the cloth and without taking my eyes off of his, leaned forward and reached down to wash between his legs. I wasn't expecting to find him hard. I froze and took a quick breath. Corey closed his eyes and moaned.
"Oh fuck, Elton. That feels so good."
His cry made me hard instantly. I was also scared shitless. If anybody walked in on us, I would be fired on the spot even though I wasn't the instigator. I would never be able to get a job nursing again. I'd be yelled and cussed at, humiliated and probably sued by his mother when word got to her. What the fuck am I getting myself into?
"Stroke it, Elton." Corey commanded in a whisper. I knew the risks. I knew the consequences but this kid had such control over me at the moment. I let go of the wash cloth and wrapped my hand around him. My jaw dropped slightly and I had to breathe through my mouth again. I watched Corey writhing in pleasure, and I let my eyes drop to look at his cock. Hmmm...not a trace of hair down there either. Whatta ya know?
I had never touched a cock like this, besides my own. I gave a few bed baths to patients when I was a student, but obviously that was different. I'd never let myself get in this sort of position before. What was this guy doing to me? I'd always been in control before, but not with Corey. This kid knew exactly what he was doing. He knew how to read me. He knew how to manipulate me. He was beautiful.
I watched my hand squeeze up and down his cock. My throat felt swollen, and my breaths started coming out in gasps. I'm going to go to hell for this...I know it. I looked back up, and Corey was looking at me. With no warning he crushed his lips to mine...his tongue delving and exploring the inside of my mouth. I stopped what I was doing. Nobody had ever kissed me before. Not like that...ever.
I'm sure fear and panic registered on my face. I couldn't think about anything except how his cock felt in my hand, and how his lips and tongue felt on my mouth. Corey released his lip-lock on me, kissed me on the cheek and then stared. I couldn't catch my breath. I stared blankly at his chest. Corey turned his body slightly, brushed his hand through my hair, and then slowly stood up in the tub.
His crotch was at my face, and I couldn't look away from it no matter how much I scolded myself. He was gorgeous. Not overly big, and not too small. He was exactly proportionate to his body. I looked up at him and found his eyes smiling at me.
"Do it, Elton." He urged as he slowly grabbed his penis and started stroking it. He pushed his groin a little closer to my face...his cock just inches from my mouth.
"What?" I asked confused. Okay, so I'm not always sharp. I mean, yeah I knew about blow jobs and hand jobs and all that stuff, but it doesn't mean I did that stuff, or even wanted to for that matter. Never mind who am I kidding? My dick could've ripped a hole in my pants, it was so hard, but this was not how and where I wanted to do this.
"Suck me." Corey whispered and gently touched the head of his cock to my mouth. I felt a slick fluid coat my lips. I pursed them and then licked, tasting his salty fluid. At that moment, I could hear noises coming from the room outside. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe or get to my feet, no matter how hard I tried. I was scrambling and hyperventilating. Corey was at my side trying to calm me down.
"Shhh...Elton, it's okay. It's okay. They left, it's okay." He was standing behind me as I leaned heavily into the countertop surrounding the sink. His hand was soothing as it rubbed and massaged my back. I could feel his breath on my neck and ear as he comforted me.
"It's okay, Elton." But it wasn't. What did I do? I was taking advantage of an underage patient. Okay, so he wasn't really underage...but this was against what I was taught. I could lose my job. I could be thrown in jail. But it felt so damned good...so right. No, no this is wrong.
My body was stiff as I pulled away and backed up. I looked wordlessly at Corey, and shook my head. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would come out. I was still hyperventilating and was becoming very dizzy.
"Elton..." Corey looked horrified. My throat felt tight. My eyes felt wet. Oh great, Elton. Let's start crying like a fucking three-year-old in front of the stud. That'll really sweep him off his feet. You're such a dolt!
But as my stomach clenched itself into a knot, I knew I wasn't going to cry. I whirled around and fell to my knees, clutching the toilet bowl tightly as I puked my guts out. Way better, Elton. Atta boy! Way to impress him. He dives and rides a skateboard. You go snorkeling in your own vomit. Ugh!
"Oh my God!" Corey grabbed his IV pole and left me in the bathroom alone to do my business. I could very well have been throwing up for three hours when I was with it enough to realize there was a crowd in the bathroom with me. I was too drained to care. I didn't look up to see who was in the audience. I just tiredly left my face resting on the cold toilet seat and prayed it was clean. "Sweetheart..." Paula's voice was soft, and I could feel her petting my hair.
"What happened?" I heard somebody ask.
"Uh...I don't know. He was helping me wash up and then he just sorta fell and started throwin' up." Corey lied.
"Dammit, Elton!" Paula scolded me. "You're not a bad person if you don't live here. Why would you come to work sick like this?"
I didn't answer. Paula wiped my face with a cool, wet rag and helped me get to my feet. As I stood, my eyes locked with Corey's. I opened my mouth to apologize, but nothing would come out. I shrugged and hung my head as Paula proceeded to lead me out of the room. Another nurse stayed behind to make sure Corey was all right.
"Is he okay?" Somebody asked Paula.
"I'm going to take my break early and drive him home. Tell Jennifer she's picking up Elton's assignment. She's been wandering around with nothing to do. I'll be back in about 45 minutes. Don't let the place burn down while I'm gone. Courtney...you're in charge until I get back."
"Okay," I could hear Courtney reply.
I felt Paula's arm tighten around me. Her lips brushed my ear, and all I could think about was the feel of Corey's breath bathing my neck and shoulders when he was trying to comfort me earlier. How did I let things get so out of hand? I never needed or even wanted anyone in my life that way before, and now I was a mess. I was fine on my own. I wanted to be by myself.
I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I connected with Corey from the second they wheeled him up from emergency. I felt it when I held his hand. I felt it when he kissed me. My throat started to swell again, and my eyes started to sting. Paula asked if I was going to throw up again, but I shook my head. I sobbed all the way to her car. I was never going to be the same.