Borrowed Time

Borrowed Time by Traumarei

Part 4. Cumming to Realize

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.

Jerry was starting to worry. He was 13 years old, almost in high school, and he'd been jacking off--and sometimes doing more--with his friends for more than a year and a half. More and more, he was starting to think he might be gay.

Ever since the beginning, the other guys had talked about girls when they were jacking off: which ones they liked, how big their tits were, how they wanted to be sucked by them or to fuck them. It was part of the routine. They talked about girls, so that it was okay to play with each other's cocks.

The last little while, though, it had started to be different, at least for some of the other guys. There was an intensity about the way that Paul looked at Sarah Donnelly, that Karl looked at Susan Farrell, that Dale looked at the Amberley twins. Or, for that matter, that Jimmy looked at every girl their age. It was a kind of desperate look, like part of them was incomplete if they couldn't be with a girl, though they hadn't started to act on it yet. Girls weren't just an excuse to get excited and touch their dicks anymore. Instead, it was starting to be more real to them. Jerry could see it in their faces, hear it in their voices, when they talked about girls and looked at them.

That scared him. Because sometimes he saw that look in his eyes as well. Only it was when he was thinking about Paul, or Dale, or other good-looking guys he knew. Not girls.

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Jerry didn't just decide he must be gay, of course. He did research.

He looked in his parents' big family medical guide, that they got out to try and figure out whether or not someone had to go to the doctor. They'd used the book and its illustrations and explanations when they were talking about sex with him. It said a lot of stuff he already knew: that some people were gay and others weren't, and that a lot of boys played around with other boys sexually when they were his age and it didn't necessarily mean they were gay. He made a note to remember that in case he was ever caught by his parents doing stuff with his friends. He shuddered. Whether his parents were upset with him about it or not, he thought that if that ever happened, he'd probably die from embarrassment.

It also said that gay teenagers had a much higher suicide rate than other teens, which made him gulp. He didn't have any trouble believing it. He found out that a lot of kids his age worried if they were gay, but he didn't see much about how to find out the answer.

So he went on the Internet.

He found a lot of porn sites. By now, he'd figured out how to temporarily disable his parents' net control. It worked okay as long as he didn't do it long enough to show an obvious gap in web browser use. The porn sites didn't say anything about how to tell he was gay, though his reaction while he was watching was probably a pretty good clue. He got so hot that he had to stop three times to jack off.

On the other hand, he figured he'd probably get hard by looking at straight porn too. Sometimes he got hard looking at clouds. Anyway, he was running out of time before he had to turn the net minder back on, so he decided not to try it and find out. At least, that was the reason he told himself. He didn't want to admit that the thought of naked girls and women actually was kind of gross.

He turned the net minder back on, then went to Google and typed, "Am I gay?" He found and carefully read several articles, some of which were pretty hard to follow. He only wound up more confused afterward. He gave up on finding a clear, definite answer anytime soon.

The thing that scared him most, even more than how much he liked messing around with the other guys, was when he started thinking about the future. He didn't want to be by himself after he was grown up. He wanted to be with someone else. But when he thought about who he wanted to be with, all he could think about were other men. Other boys. That couldn't be a good sign.

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At 13 years and 8 months, Jerry was still shooting air.

Trevor had started shooting a couple of months before. In fact, the first time had been while Jerry was stroking him off one time. It hadn't been dramatic or anything, just a little white drop that appeared at the end of his cock; but it was a start. Within a month, he was shooting a lot more than that.

Jerry had noticed, though, that his orgasms had started to get more intense.

It was a Friday after school in February. The next Monday was a teacher prep day, so the guys all had school off. They wouldn't be able to get together on Monday, though, because they all had different things scheduled, including some kind of local athletic meet most of them were going to. This was the only time that weekend they'd be able to get together.

The first few minutes after Jerry got there, they shot the shit like usual. Then Jimmy started things off, and the guys started clumping together to see who would jack off who.

"Hey Jer," Paul called out.

"Yeah?"

"Can I get one off you today? I'm in a mood to take my time."

"Sure." Jerry's pulse started to race. Jerking off any of the guys was fun and sexy, but the gay part of himself thought that Dale and Paul were especially hot.

Paul usually wanted whoever was jerking him off to just go for it until he shot, but sometimes he got in a mood where he wanted it to last a while. Apparently this was one of those times. So Paul pulled off his clothes, and Jerry had him lie down on the floor, as he always did when he was doing one of his "specials."

Jerry used a lot of different tricks to keep Paul on the edge for a long time. First he licked Paul's cock briefly, causing him to groan. Then he jacked him a bit, using a light touch, sometimes brushing up and down the other boy's cock, then alternating that with gentle rubbing and rotating motions. Paul started to tense. He was getting close to the edge.

Jerry pulled off a minute, then decided to try something else he'd thought about. He moved up to Paul's chest, then licked at and around his nipples. The other boy's eyes got wide. Jerry grinned. He could get away with stuff like this without the other guys thinking he was gay, just because he had a reputation as a hand job specialist. This all was part of that, as far as the other guys were concerned.

Then he moved back down to Paul's cock area. Instead of sucking his cock, though, he licked the inside of Paul's thighs. The other boy gasped and jerked his legs. Jerry grinned. His idea had worked the way he wanted it to work.

Next, he traced the fingers of one hand over Paul's chest while the other hand stroked the inside of his thighs. "Oh, fuck," the other boy moaned. It looked like he was getting close to cumming even without his cock being touched. He must really be horny today.

Jerry kept it up for another minute or two, bringing the other boy even closer to orgasm. Then he stopped, paused for a few seconds, and blew on Paul's cock. The other boy arched his back but didn't cum. Jerry grinned. End of round two.

By now the other guys were gathered around, watching Jerry's performance. Several of them were stroking. Several times, when he did something that brought Paul particularly close to the edge, one of them would grin or give him a thumbs-up. He grinned back. His reputation as a hand job master was safe.

He kept it up for another long while, twice bringing Paul near to orgasm. He stroked up and down Paul's sides and even up under his armpits while Paul held up his arms at Jerry's direction, causing the other boy to giggle at the ticklish sensations. He wrapped his fingers around just the base of Paul's cock, then carefully tugged the skin downwards, making it tight, then released it, several times in a row. That brought Paul to the edge of cumming surprisingly quickly.

Jerry's idea was to make Paul feel hotter and hotter, while doing his best not to actually stroke the other boy's cock very much. That would make it more sensitive for when he finally went for it.

Once, partway through, Jimmy offered to do Jerry while he was doing Paul. Jerry shook his head. He didn't want anything to distract his attention.

Finally he decided it was time. He wrapped his hand again around the other boy's cock. This time, his hand was curved so that his fingers reached around the back of the other boy's cock, resting against Paul's stomach. Jerry's thumb was on the front of Paul's cock, with the tip of his thumb resting on the loose skin just underneath Paul's circumsized cockhead, and the base of his thumb resting on top of Paul's ballsac.

Slowly, his hand firmly wrapped around Paul's cock, he pushed up, then pulled back down. Up, then down. Paul's breathing got ragged, and his feet started twitching.

Jerry did it again, this time playing with the skin under Paul's ballsac at the same time with his other hand.

Paul shouted and got a huge grin on his face. Then his body tightened, and his cum squirted up past Jerry's hand onto his stomach and chest. "Christ!" he cried, his voice higher than normal. He thrust his groin up into Jerry's hand, timing his thrusts with the contractions in his cock.

All through Paul's orgasm, Jerry kept squeezing the other boy's cock, slowly, gently, rhythmically.

Finally, Paul gave Jerry a satisfied, post-orgasm smile. "That was really, really good," he whispered. Then he spoke louder. "You're such a pervert," he said, admiringly. "I almost died when you licked inside my legs. Christ!" He paused. "Give me a couple of minutes, and I'll do you."

Jerry grinned. "Just don't finish it up too soon. I'm pretty horned up, after doing you that way. I want it to last."

"No worries."

As Paul was recovering, Jerry looked around. The look on the other guys' faces was dazed with what Jerry recognized as lust. Karl, to Jerry's surprise, was slowly stroking Dale's cock.

"You inspired him," Trevor said, and smirked.

Finally Paul was ready. At his direction, Jerry lay down in his turn. Then he bit back a groan as he felt Paul stroking the inside of his thighs. Christ, that really did feel good.

Then, to his great shock, he felt Paul kissing the skin just above his cock, once on the left side, once on the right. He looked down, his mind bright with a kind of hope--

And saw, clearly written on Paul's face, a look that said this was something he was doing because he was horny, because he thought it would feel good and nasty and slightly shocking to Jerry. But not because he felt any of the kind of feelings for Jerry that Jerry felt for him.

Jerry throat tightened and he blinked a couple of times, doing his best not to feel disappointed. He decided to close his eyes and just enjoy the sensations Paul was giving him, and to think later about what it meant and how he felt.

Paul's hand job continued, slow and really sexy. In his own way, once he got started, Paul could be almost as daring and creative as Jerry. He tried a lot of the things Jerry had done to him, like playing with his nipples and tugging on the skin of his cock from the base to make it tight. Once he licked Jerry's cock, and Jerry's eyes flew open to watch the really hot sight of Paul's tongue flicking against his cock. He groaned out loud that time. Paul snickered and grinned. It all felt really, really good.

Finally Jerry hit the top, with Paul stroking him off slow and steady the way Jerry usually did for the other boys, not quick and fast the way Paul usually did. It was really hot. He thought his orgasm felt better than usual, too, with the feeling going deeper and stronger, like it was starting from somewhere inside him down below his balls.

"Look what I got."

Paul was grinning. Jerry looked down at Paul's hand, still holding his cock, and saw a few drops of something creamy and whitish.

"First time?" asked Karl.

"Yeah." Jerry blinked. "Yeah!" he said again, a little more enthusiastically.

The others laughed. "Welcome to the club," said Paul.

Everyone was grinning except Jimmy, who seemed a little unhappy that he was the only one who still couldn't cum. Karl reached over and messed up his hair. "It's okay, youngster. You'll be shooting in no time, once you hit puberty." Jimmy growled and gave him a disgusted look, then knocked Karl's hand away. Karl grinned.

Meanwhile, Paul was smearing the cum all over Jerry's cock. It felt slimy, and really slick. His cock almost started twitching again at the feeling. He'd have to try using slick stuff the next time he jacked off in his room.

Dale spoke. "That's the end of your doubleheader jacking-off sessions," he joked. Jerry nodded. That would be okay, if his orgasms felt this good from now on. Somehow, though, he thought this one would be pretty hard to match. Jerry looked at Paul, laughing and talking to one of the other guys, and inside himself he felt a pang.

There wasn't any more question in his mind now that he was gay. None at all. He'd had another guy's hand on him, and it had felt great, but all he'd wished was that Paul would feel something for him that was more than just friendship and shared horniness. Like he did for Paul. But he knew it would never happen. Never with Paul, and never, now, with a girl.

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That night Jerry went home and jacked off again, jacked off until he had another orgasm, a dry one this time, with visions of Paul dancing in his head, Paul's smile, Paul's body, Paul's cock, in his hand and in his mouth. Then he cried himself to sleep.

(c) 2008 by Traumarei. All rights reserved.

Author's note: We're now pretty much caught up to the timeframe of the very first snippet from Part 1 of this story, with Jerry realizing that the stuff he does with the other guys doesn't mean the same thing to them that it does to him. Now the story will be moving on into high school, and inevitable changes in the way things have been with the friends.

Feedback is welcome. I got a few comments when the story first came out, but not much recently. So let me join the clamor you've read from other authors here. Feedback is important! Audience appreciation is the spark that fuels the fire, that powers the engine of storywriting...okay, that metaphor crashed and burned, but you get the drift. Write! We just want to know that our writing is being read and (hopefully) enjoyed.

Other items that I've had posted on Nifty include:

• After School (Gay: Masturbation) (Part 2 just added!)

• Good Friends (Gay: High School)

• Little Brother (Gay: Incest)

• Middle School Empath (Gay: Science Fiction or Fantasy)

• The Old Pornography (Gay: Masturbation) (a kind of weird poem...)