Booker Burns

Booker Burns 22

I could smell a good old fashioned roast in the oven as I ran through some of Matts clients with Hildy. She didn't see a problem but did see one where I was concerned. I had taken on too much once again and my list for the following week was big.

"Hildy if I don't get to it this week, I will next week, everything is going smoothly." She grunted, and she started to delete the unnecessary call-outs I had penciled in. To be honest they were only on the list so I don't forget to call in and see if anything is needed.

"I want you to take over Nan and Adonis case my lovely, I think you and her have a lot in common."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman Zack, and although I'm opposed to working with my people I will go and see her. Does she need for anything?"

"No, I think Books organized everything for her that's necessary, even the big screen TV." I laughed.

"And the boy?"

"We are going to try and get him into school permanently. Nan has made the initial inquiries but the biggest obstacle is her own doing. They have been joined at the hip since he was born, it's not easy for her to let him go, even for a minute"

"So, do you think he's ready to go Zack?"

"Yes, he needs some friends, and the school is just across the road. They can wave to each other all day if they wish."

"Well, I'll talk to her about it then."

"Are you staying at Jenny's or are you going to stay with us?"

"I would like to stay here boyfriend, but Sam's place doesn't lend itself to having a child in his room."

"That will change when David gets around to rebuilding the bunkhouse. He reckons it won't take long and if you think of anything you may need out there, just let me or Book know. You can look at the plans this afternoon if you like."

"I told you Zack it's only temporary, I won't be here that long to even think about settling into the country life."

I grinned at her, and I must get Sam onto asking her to marry him too.

Lunch was smelling wonderful and when aunty and Ant arrived he beelined to the TV and watched football with the kids and Book. Us adults sat at the table and ate our meals.

"Where's Emma today?" mum inquired.

"She's got work, to put it in her words. Someone's got to look after the looney bin." Aunty laughed.

"You know she sold a new car the other day, there was no salesman around so she took on the job."

"Wow, she didn't mention that last night."

"She's taking it all in her stride, but I think they are very impressed. Daniel is picking her up after work and they are going to his place to look at photos and have dinner. He's a nice guy, do you think he's gay Zack?"

"I think he might be aunty, and I have just the fella for him too." I grinned.

"David Truscott?"

"Yes, aunty have you heard any rumors?"

"Not exactly rumors nephew, he did get a mention in the most difficult man to date conversation I had with Nancy at the bank." She laughed.

"Well, I'm hoping him and Daniel will eventually get together."

"When is the announcement going in the paper Zack, I have had a lot of inquiries."

"Tuesday aunty, a big town party."

She rolled her eyes.

Book bought his plate in to load it up again, I think he was enjoying the football because he didn't stay long, but I did get a quick kiss.

It was a great day for all of us, we ate so much everyone was getting tired, once again it's the carbs. I went to have a ten-minute nap and ended up with the three kids in bed with me. Book came in to have a look, but all he did was groan and left us to it. Hildy had disappeared with Joe and the last I saw of young Douglas he was on the phone to Emma. I think they are having another date sometime this week.

I was tinkering with an essay I will record for my TV spot when a red flag appeared at the bottom of the screen. It was a private message from the guy I had responded to, on my youtube page.

"How do I stop the screaming in my head. God is telling me, no, but my brain and body are telling me yes. How do I find my god again and dull the pain? How do I be myself again and accept everything that has happened to me?"

My god, this guy has some serious business going on. I started my reply with a question. One that I used quite often in my talks.

"Ask yourself what hurt you so much that you can't see straight anymore?"

Then I wrote about self-forgiveness, forgiveness was another essay that was shared to all the University classes. You have to start with forgiving yourself and finding that lost love. Finding that person that has been lost on the way. We all have reference points we can call upon. I am a great believer in remembering those points. When you slowly go back to where you were the happiest, search around that area and find the catalyst that made you doubt your maker and your faith, and more importantly yourself. It will be there hidden away. Then compare how happy you were before the event, and how mixed up you have been since it happened. What happened to make you change?

With me, it was when I was thirteen before I hit that 'I'm gay' spot I didn't have a care in the world. But when it happened, all I had after that was a constant worry, and I was scared shitless underneath it all. I didn't want the world to know about my secret and I worked hard to cover it up. It was Book that got me through my everyday mental state, he was the one that made me laugh and forget my troubles for a while. He made my life worth living because I was in love with him then. But by hiding secrets, I made my inner feelings worse. If I had only known about his abuse, I wouldn't have been so selfish. He said I had saved him from much of it by being his friend, but he had also saved me from going down a very depressing pathway.

So I continued telling this guy he has to find his happy place and restart from there, he has to find out what made him happy then, and he has to work through where it all went wrong for him.

I attached the essay and wished him well, then sent it to him.

By the time I had finished, it was bedtime, and although I had slept during the day for an hour I was still dog tired. Hildy will follow me into work tomorrow, mum will look after Ava. We had made a time to meet at the soup kitchen to have lunch. I don't think Book will come in, he has David Truscott coming out to do some more stuff to the building. I think he's going to demolish the kitchen wall to make an entry to the new bit.

She looked around the sparsely furnished office and turned on the computer and signed in.

"I have to go to the paper and look over the ad this morning. Just to see that it is okay."

"Okay boyfriend, I will go see these people then call into Nans. I'm looking forward to meeting her."

"She's a lovely lady Hildy, you will get along with her just fine. You don't have to take her on a full-time basis, I just want her to meet you that's all, as a friend."

I called into the newspaper and talked to the editor, he was telling me that although everyone would probably come to the reception, it was the actual gay wedding they all wanted to witness. Then he said we were being mean to the town for ignoring them. I smiled and thought I had better have another word with Book, maybe we could move the wedding to the lake. After all, it is a sort of special place for us too. I told him to go ahead with the ad and he changed the party to a wedding., I paid him with my credit card.

My next stop was to go to the Ninda reserve. Luke had told me he had been called out there Friday night because of some sort of trouble. By the time he had arrived, it was all over. I needed to go and talk to the tribe's elders something that I didn't relish doing today.

The place was a battle zone, broken windows everywhere burnt-out cars and tons of rubbish blowing down the streets in the breeze.

"How did the mess happen?" I tried my broken white man's language on them.

"Kids, bloody kids done boss."

"Okay, why?"

"Bloody don't know boss they crazy Friday night. All power goes out light not working. Kids come from nowhere and go crazy. Maybe something good on TV, but no power."

"Do you know leaders of kids?"

"No we don't, just have to clean up, everything okay now."

And guess who has to organize the cleanup, me. If it wasn't so serious it would be funny, kids going crazy because their televisions went off.

I took plenty of photos, just about every one of the four dozen houses was damaged, I will have to get the council to do a rubbish clean up then get onto finding a glazier to repair roughly fifty or so window panes.

"Anything else?"

"We need talk to your big boss."

"Who?"

"Black woman you have now."

"Hildy is my boss, she won't come here. She won't deal with Aborigine."

"We need to tell her to shut her mouth. No aborigine can talk about secret business." I got mad, who do they fucking think they are?

"She no comes here," I said firmly.

"She must, our law."

"You know what, I'm done here." I collected my things and started walking out to my car, the closer I got to it the bigger the mess was. The rage was building as I turned on my heels and walked back into the elder's office. I nearly broke the door off its hinges as I screamed at the three of them. Pointing to the eldest one I said.

"If you ever touch my property again I will have your whole tribe cut off the welfare. Now, get those fucking kids back here and get my car washed before that horse shit stains my Duco. If it's not sparkly clean within ten minutes I will cut everyone off the dole. And you know how difficult I can make it for you all, so get it fucking done." I was furious and they could see it too.

One of them ran outside to give some orders and I stared down the other two as I slowly pulled my phone out and waited.

My parting words were.

"You have to talk to kids because I won't be back for two months and I won't send my boss out to see you because she's had enough of your bullshit."

I swung around and went back to my now sparkling but wet new car. I saw some laughing teens in the distance so I planted my foot and drove straight at them, they scattered, thank god. Then I did a wheelie and drove fast out of the small reserve. On my way back to town I vowed I would wait a few weeks before I got the place cleaned up, see if they like not having a clean township.

I pulled to the side of the highway because I was furious and it's better not to drive in my state.

After taking a lot of deep breaths I had calmed down a bit to continue my journey. Before I did I made two phone calls, one to my next appointment which I couldn't get out of and the other to Book. I wanted to hear his voice I wanted him to calm me down some more.

I pulled up in front of a small block of units. My next appointment was Dean Summers a fifty-something year old that had rung me for an appointment. He has found himself in a spot of bother.

He made me a cup of tea on a portable gas stove and sat in an easy chair opposite me.

"Okay Dean, what's this all about?" I had noticed that the unit, although clean was sparsely furnished, it was almost like someone had moved out or cleaned it out.

"Mr. Tierney I am in such a pickle. I don't know where to turn to next. My fiancé and I have been living in this council unit for over seven years now, she has unfortunately passed away six weeks ago. She had this unit in her name for eight years before I moved in. So although I have been paying the rent I am scared that housing will throw me out because I'm not on the lease. Her family has cleaned out everything that was hers, and they also had my internet phone and electricity turned off. I want to have it turned on again but they won't do it without confirmation I'm on the lease. I don't know what will become of me in the future, I will most probably have to sleep on the streets."

I felt so sorry for him, not only was he grieving for his fiancé he was thinking that housing will put him onto the street if they find out has been living here with her. I know about these things from being in the city, a lover moves in and the rent stays the same if the housing commission finds out there are two people in the unit they rent almost doubles. It's not right or fair, but that's the rules.

"Okay Dean, leave it up to me" I took my phone out and called my contact at the electricity company, I gave him the code and he said it will be turned on within the hour. I also changed it into Deans name. I then rang the Department of Housing and requested an urgent meeting with them in the morning.

"Dean, your electricity will be back on within the hour. In the morning we have an appointment with the housing people. I will plead your case and if they don't let you stay here we will go to Vcat (Moderators).

"Thank you, Mr. Tierney, I just didn't know what to do, I wish she hadn't died but I guess we all have to go some time."

"Dean they won't throw you on the streets if they do anything they will shift you to a smaller unit, and I doubt that they will come looking for back rent either. Just don't stress and leave it up to me; okay?"

"Thank you." He looked like a load had been taken off his shoulders and I shook his hand and said I would pick him up at nine in the morning. Now for some lunch, so I bundled him into the car and drove to the soup kitchen down the street to get him a hot meal.

"I thought this was for the homeless?"

"It is, and for people in trouble. You have no cooking facilities at the moment and require a good decent feed so you come here."

I kissed aunty and got a meal for Dean. He was so grateful he dropped five dollars into the donation box. I told him If he wants to pay for his meals he can come here anytime. I introduced him to aunty Jenny and she handed me some meatloaf and veggies.

I finally flopped onto a seat opposite Hildy, she was deep in thought looking at her screen.

"I have just sent you a case write up, and I want you to look it over and let me know what you think."

"Okay, they want to talk to you."

"Who?"

"The elders at the Ninda reserve, they think you have to pay your respects to them."

She laughed loudly.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, honey. They need to tell you to keep your big mouth shut."

I told her what was said and the mess that was made of my car, and she smiled at me and asked.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm not sending any help out there for three weeks, see if they can live in their shit for a while." I sort of laughed.

"Well, they certainly won't be meeting me." She said.

"I will write the report after I have lunch, you can read it. But the basic outline is, the power went out the kids got mad and trashed the place. They dumped horse shit on my car so I threatened to have them cut off the dole if it wasn't cleaned immediately."

"Did they clean it?"

"Yes it looks sort of new again, but I will run it through the car wash."

"Cut them off anyway."

I laughed at her serious face so she added.

"It's the only thing they understand, Government money."

I watched as Dean thanked aunty then he came over and said.

"I will see you in the morning then, and thank you."

"It's okay, and yes Dean, I will pick you up at nine, try not to stress too much mate."

I went to see three more minor clients and fixed them up with some help then I rang Book again. There was no lake today, Book had been busy helping David out with the demolition.

I arrived home to a big mess outside, and even a bigger mess in the kitchen. David had forgotten to call the rubbish bin company to drop off a large waste bin. It was all organized for tomorrow but tonight it will be the barbeque again. He had demolished the mudroom that was connected to the kitchen, Sam had hung sheets to limit the dust that had collected for nearly a hundred years, but it still managed to get into everything. Thank god for the doors to the rest of the house, they blocked its progress otherwise we would be sleeping in the barn.

"I'm going to wait until it settles son, I can start cleaning it up tomorrow." Mum had our coffee and biscuits ready on the porch.

"How was work today my desert dream?" Sam said to Hildy who blushed; I think.

"Good Sam, did my beautiful granddaughter behave herself for you?"

"She was the perfect lady, the boys amused her in their room in front of the TV."

"I moved the small TV into their bedroom so they could have something to do." Book grinned.

I stroked his leg and he sat back I suppose hoping I would go further up.

"Good thinking Book, and David how did you and Daniel end up Saturday night?" I was dying to know if they called into the lake or something.

"Good Zack, we have always got along business-wise, it was good to see him in a different light Saturday. I think he's got too much on at the moment with Emma but we made a tentative date to go have another beer sometime. We had one the way home it was fun, but a late night."

I was disappointed nothing had happened.

"Did you do the ad?"

"Yes mum, it will be in the paper tomorrow, it looks good."

"Well cross your fingers that the next town doesn't see it." She laughed. I figured if they wanted to come they could.

"What are we having for dinner mum?"

"Just chops and sausages son, something easy until I can get the kitchen all cleaned up."

"Good, David are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes if that's okay with your mum."

"Of course it is David, your family" Mum laughed.

Book was happily cooking away at the barbeque when I spied an unfamiliar car come up the road, it turned into our driveway and David stood up.

"What's Gino doing out here?" He said.

"Don't know, he's been here before but we haven't seen him for a while," I replied.

I got the feeling Gino wasn't in a good mood as his car door slammed and he headed our way, he looked awesome in pale blue jeans and a black t-shirt, very Italian.

"Hi Zack, Book, Mrs. Tierney. David can I have a word with you?"

"Of course Gino, what's up mate?"

"In private."

"Come for a walk."

David walked off the porch and around the side of the house towards the new build. I looked at mum and Book and they both shrugged their shoulders. I had no idea what was going on but we did hear some muffled shouting. It wasn't until the food was put on the table that they came back. David was red-faced and Gino was as mad as a rattlesnake.

Mum asked him to stay for dinner but he said he had to be somewhere and thanked us for asking. David didn't say anything he sat in his little world and was deep in thought throughout our meal. Hildy was reading a write up she had done at the table and Sam was hoping for an early night maybe. She knew something was up but I guess she will talk to me about it later after all she doesn't know David or Gino.

"Sorry guys, I have to go and thank you for the meal it was very nice." He got up from the table and wiped his mouth with a tissue. We all could see he was very distracted and I moved to see him to his car.

I asked him if everything was all right, he answered.

"Old wounds lost loves. I'm over it, time to move on."

"You love him don't you?"

"Yes Zack always did, but it's time for me to move on. He's one cock teaser that's teased once too often "

"Well if you want to talk I will always make time for you David, you're such a special friend in our lives, and we don't like seeing you hurting."

"One day Zack, I will tell you a long story, but it's not the right time at the moment, I'm done." He looked depressed and sort of over everything and his head hung so low it was almost touching his chest.

I went back to the porch and started cleaning up the plates, all eyes were on me even Hildy's.

"I don't know, he's depressed about something, he mentioned something like old wounds, lost loves. I guess he's not ready to talk yet but I will go have a trim this week, maybe Gino will open up."

"Keep your eye on that boy lover, he's more than depressed he's struggling," Hildy said quietly, and secretly I somehow knew he was in a bad headspace when he left.

We did the dishes in the laundry then wiped down the babies, Gino had thrown a cloud over our dinner and everyone was tired. I wanted to sit with Hildy for a while, but Sam had other ideas and took her for a walk. We put the babies to bed and all three wanted bottles tonight, their dummies were all forgotten.

I showered and crawled into bed with my farmer boy who pulled me into his hardness. I wanted to talk to him about the wedding so I started by kissing him softly.

"Book, I think we should have the service at the lake too, so many people want to witness it, and from what I'm hearing they will be very pissed off if it doesn't happen in front of them."

"I know David and his brothers were telling us much the same thing today, they think we are cheating the town out of a good wedding."

"Do you agree with me we should get married at the lake?"

"Well yes, and no Zachy." He was pensive.

"It's a very special place for us too you know, we made love for the first time out there Book. I hold it dear and I know you do too, so what's up?"

He was taking his time with the answer and a few times he shook his head no, but eventually, he got it out. He started whispering in my ear.

"Zachy, I have some things to tell you and I don't want to say them in front of everyone just close family, and I don't even want to say them in front of them. They are my words for your ears only Zachy."

"Okay, I get it you're shy."

"Baby, I don't want to say just a few rehearsed lines to you. I have already written my vows out four times now, they are three pages full." I felt warmed and I had better get onto mine as soon as possible. I already knew what I wanted to say but it won't be three full pages.

"Zack?"

"Book, can I suggest something?"

"Yes, any help will be gratefully received." He started kissing my neck, I shivered.

"Book, how about the night before our wedding at the lake we spend it at the swimming hole. We can wear our suits or speedos and sit on the big rock, you can say your vows to me, and I can say mine to you, with nobody around. We can do another one to read at the actual wedding." He stopped kissing me and looked up into my eyes and said.

"The words are just for your ears baby, and yes that will suit me fine. Can we take the boys with us Zachy?"

"Of course we can baby." I touched his cheek.

"Good because I want to tell them something too." He blushed.

He was done with this conversation and slipped down the bed to start our lovemaking, which was so tender and slow, I had no idea when we went to sleep. The last sound I heard was old Bessie mooing in the farmyard.

In the morning we all pitched in to clean up the kitchen, mum had already been up since sparrow's fart washing things. Book gave her a hand before he went to check on the stock. I changed the babies and Hildy was doing their breakfasts on the porch. Book had made up a lead and power plugs so the electric kettle and cooktop could be used out there today. It will take a few wipe downs before all the dust disappears.

As I wiped out the cupboards over the fridge I told mum we had to change our plans for the wedding and she said.

"Good I'm sick of telling lies." She smiled.

Then I told her our plan, she was grinning by the time I finished and very pleased that Book had changed his mind. I left it to her to tell aunty I'm sure she will ring her sometime today.

I then rang the Editor and confirmed it will be a wedding and party He was almost gushing when I got off the phone he thought it was a better headline and he would go over it once more and add what he thought should be added. I was good to go with that and I must get onto writing some vows too.

Hildy went off to the office and I said I would meet her at the soup kitchen at lunchtime.

I headed for Deans to take him to the housing department and then the telephone company to sort out his internet.

He was dressed up in his best clothes I was duly impressed.

"My father always told me, 'son even if you don't have a penny in your pocket at least look like you have' And those words have been with me always since then. It's not too much is it?"

"No, Dean you look great. Something I'm sure they don't come across every day."

Our meeting went well for him, he would be allowed to stay in the unit and they changed the name on the lease while we waited. I didn't know the man that saw us but he did ask when the wedding was. I laughed and told him his invitation will be in the newspaper tomorrow morning. I dropped a very happy man back at his unit, we had done a lot today and even got a good shop in for groceries. I once again told him he could go to the soup kitchen anytime and get a cheap feed. He was so grateful he nearly cried when he told me his fiancé would be happy someone was looking out for him.

I then called in see nan. She liked Hildy and they did have a lot in common, she said they had walked across to the school and Adoni had spoken to the headmaster and done some sums for him. She will know something by the end of the week and Adoni was nearly jumping up and down to tell me he's going to go to school. I told him to make sure there is plenty of lemonade in the fridge for his nan to celebrate with.

Maree Cranley served me my lunch and she was all smiles, I couldn't help but smile back at her. I know she is trying to fit in so I didn't say much except that I was very proud of her, then she started.

"Thank you Zack, words aren't enough but I get it loud and clear. My parents are talking to me again, I had to build some bridges there and they have promised to take the kids for a weekend or two in the future. I have also made a friend out of Millie and apologized to her, you needn't worry about her never having any food Zack I will take care of it." She smiled at me I smiled back and I made sure she saw that tear fall from my eye.

Hildy had been watching and I placed my meal on the table and reached for a tissue.

"Another win for my boyfriend, this old black woman is so proud of you."

"You read her history then?"

"Yes she was a mess for a while, but I think she's coming good now." She winked at me.

"I hear your wedding plans have changed, is Book okay with that?"

Yes, love, he is a bit shy still, but we are going to fix that the day before the wedding."

"Do tell?"

"Nup." I shoveled food into my gob before she reacted.

"Just a trim, not too much now Gino, and I would love a good wash and treatment today too."

"How about we leave the trim and just do the other, we can do the trim before the wedding." He was all chest hair and three-day growth today I don't think he even looked in the mirror this morning even though his shop is littered with them.

"So are you going to talk to me or should we leave it alone?"

He wasn't shocked at what I said he thought long and hard about it though.

"Well it doesn't matter now, everything has shifted in my life I just have to shift it back that's all."

"Gino, why did you ask me about gay sex a few weeks ago, were you serious or are you thinking about coming out?" He nearly fainted.

"I can't Zack, my parents, they are strict Catholics and wouldn't understand."

"Okay putting that aside for a moment, what about your happiness doesn't that count?"

"Not in my world Zack, I want so badly to try gay sex but only with David. I am more comfortable with him, and I kind of like him a hell of a lot."

"So what's stopping you?"

"He was seen drinking with Daniel White the other night then he canceled our night out at the pub tonight. I think he's going to date him, he told me he might at your place."

"So he's not worth fighting for then?"

"He's been in love with me since junior school, I have always known that, but something changed when we left school I missed him so badly. We decided to meet up a couple of times a week and have a beer. That was my time to be with him and it looks like he's going to replace me with Daniel. I don't like it and I don't know what my feelings are at the moment, maybe I'm jealous. I have never been jealous of anybody Zack, but I sure do feel that way with David."

"Gino, just tell him. For god's sake tell him you have feelings for him, and if it's the gay sex your worried about keeping it light would help, he will understand. For heaven's sake, and for your peace of mind talk to him about it."

I could see he was thinking deeply so I didn't push him but I did say.

"He is going to date Daniel White because he thinks the person he's in love with, is never going to be his to love always."

"Who?" He had a shocked look on his face.

"Talk to him, now can you give me a head massage?"

"Okay Zack, but what do I tell my parents?"

"Tell them nothing until your sure that's what you want, then you sit down and have an adult conversation with them."

"They are religious."

"You have a life to live."

"I was happy until we left school then everything changed and I missed him so much."

"You're just stringing him on Gino, either set him free or take him in your arms, you can't have a midway relationship it's not fair on him, or you."

"Does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?"

"Anal sex."

"Fucking hell Gino, at first yes it hurts like hell, but you get used to it. You have screwed just about every female in town you would know that already."

"I haven't."

"Haven't what?"

"Screwed every girl in town, I just make out I have. People accept that because of my heritage I have had a lot of lovers."

"Does David know this?"

"Yes, we discussed it one night when he seemed a bit down."

"He's suffering Gino you can help him."

"What about this Daniel?"

"It's not going to happen, because he's in love with you."

"Okay, you are done. This one's on me doctor." he laughed and his beautiful perfect white teeth were on show.

"Call him and insist you go out for a drink. If he resists ignore him and tell him to meet you at the lake. All kinds of magic things happen there."

"Yes, I have heard that around town, nobody goes there because you and Book are always there having man sex."

"What?"

"Well, that's the rumor." He laughed I hugged him and left chuckling to myself. This town is full of gays, why didn't I know this?

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