Chapter 19
Book was up really early. I could hear him moving around the bedroom and pulling on his jeans, he has to go help the boys today he's been a little slack lately. They don't mind, as I said Book is a great boss. I felt his lips on mine and I let out a small moan as he left leaving me cold and alone. I was awake so I thought I might help mum out and light the stove. No babies this morning they were in with mum, she must have taken them during the night.
Book had already thrown a match on the kitchen stove so it was starting to warm up when I got there, so I put the kettle on. I sat at the table waiting for it to boil and felt a slap on my leg, Lucky was up early and he wanted me. I picked him up he was drenched so I took him to the laundry and wiped him down giving him plenty of kissy farts as we went. He was laughing and I was looking at his beautiful baby body. He is a gorgeous kid I'm not just saying that because he's mine, he is a handsome little fella; like Beetle perfect in every way.
I fixed him up then he went looking for his brother because it was nearly TV time. I made coffee and mum arrived she automatically looked at the fire then placed the heat guard back so little hands won't get burnt on the old wrought iron stove.
"The kettles just boiled mum," I said as I gave her a morning hug.
"Thank you son I think I've been kicked and prodded all night not to mention the face slap this morning. Those boys would make a good alarm clock."
"Why were they in with you?"
"That bloody cow in the lower paddock, her mooing has got louder since Book moved her there I'm sure of it. They started moaning when she did, so I grabbed them both and put them in with me."
"You can put them in with us you know."
She stared at me and shook her head and replied.
"They are my grandsons, I love them to bits and I like them in with me. God knows what you and Booker have been teaching them." She managed a laugh, I blushed.
"Nothing goes on when they are with us mum, believe me, the only thing we are teaching them is to feel comfortable to come in anytime." I smiled at her.
She made her coffee and sat with me at the table, she will make the boys some toast in a minute, she can't sit for long. I believe even without the boys she would be doing something constructive with her hands.
"What's on today son?"
"I am going into town to help with the soup kitchen, then I have to go back to aunties place and talk celebrants and wedding cakes and things."
"Can I ride with you?"
"Of course you can, you need to guide me with this wedding I have no idea what we are doing from day to day."
"Well I think Jenny and I have the cake sorted, we were going to run it past you. What do you think about a few hundred cupcakes on big stands for a different modern wedding cake look; hang on I have a picture." She went off to the lounge and got one of her magazines to show me, I already knew what my answer will be, a big fat yes. No five-tiered white wedding cakes for us, we will have the modern one.
It looked wonderful and the kids will love it and so will Book.
"How many will we make mum?"
"About three or four hundred, that should be enough. They are easy to do and we can use Ants big ovens at the restaurant. His kitchen hands and the volunteers at the soup kitchen will help with the baking and icing it won't take long. We thought we would do them a few days before the nuptial's."
"Good, I'm very happy with that idea mum, anything else?"
"Yes Zack, we thought we would make up some gift bags with sweets in them, We can get the silk bags, and the sweets from Wilma at the two dollar shop in town."
"Well I can give you a hand with those mum, I have seen them at some wedding's before."
"Good son, we want four hundred thank you, don't forget the ribbon for ties." She smiled.
I can do that, Book can help because at the moment all he has to do is turn up and look like a god.
She rinsed her cup and started putting bread into the toaster for the kids. I checked on them they were fast asleep on the floor so I threw a small blanket over each.
"They are fast asleep again."
"I will do breakfast in a minute, did Book go and help the boys?"
"Yes mum, I'm off for a shower."
I turned the water on and when it started steaming I stepped into it. My hands were all over soaping my body, I needed to have a good scrub because Book will have me one way or the other today, or hopefully sometime this morning. I washed my ball sac and felt around a bit for lumps that shouldn't be there then I did my chest, no lumps or anything out of the ordinary except a wanting ass.
When I arrived back I could smell eggs and bacon cooking and the kids were chewing on toast in their high chairs. Their faces lit up when they saw me, and I kissed and farted into their necks just to hear them giggle. Mum was working away at the stove and I pinched a piece of bacon to chew on. My phone rang and it was aunty wanting to know if I was coming into town. I told her we were all coming and mum had worded me up on the cakes, it was a big yes from me.
The next call I got was after Book and the men came in for breakfast. I couldn't hear him properly so I moved to the front porch. It was a young boy, he didn't say who he was but he was distressed and crying. I tried to calm him down by talking gently to him then it hit me, it was Adoni.
I got a grandma's sick, she can't get up, can I come to see her urgently. I told him to go get someone that could help her and then just sit with her I will be twenty minutes.
I told Book he took a handful of toast and we drove to the reserve. I hope to god she hadn't had a heart attack or something.
When we finally got there, I didn't bother with the elders I drove straight in and up to her small house.
Adoni was sitting on the steps crying his eyes out. I raced inside while Book tried to comfort him. Nan had been beaten up and from what I first saw she was in no fit state to talk, her mouth was so swollen. I got my phone out and rang Luke then I rang the ambulance. I tried to look and see if anything else was bleeding but couldn't find anything.
"Sorry, white fella nans a bit sore at the moment." She got out.
"Who did this awful thing to you nan, tell me."
"I fell over."
"Bullshit, who the fuck did this to you." I was bordering on crying but for Adoni's sake, I couldn't show any emotion in front of him.
"Drop it, Zack, they watch old nan." Book came in and took one look at her then he went off his head. He knows nan from our early visits and liked the old girl a bit he was the one that suggested that Adoni come stay with us if anything happened to her.
"Those dirty filthy mongrels" He stormed out I couldn't go with him because nan started having a coughing fit. I heard him shouting at the top of his voice and when I calmed nan down by moving her onto her side I raced outside to find Book. His hand had a hold of one elder's neck and he was two feet off the ground gagging for breath.
"Fucking tell me or you're a dead man."
I grabbed his arm and forced him to let go, the elder dropped to his ass on the ground.
"What did you do, the police are coming and they will throw you in jail, so I want to know what you fucking shunts did to nan."
Book was screaming again and wasn't going to let it go. I went into the office and found the other elder cowering in a corner. I picked him up with one hand and shoved him towards the doorway. I pushed him until he was with the other one on the ground.
"Black mans business, not yours." He yelled.
"Fuck the black man, what did you do to her?"
"Women shut her mouth, women's business."
"Then you go lock up, both of you." Book kicked one of them in the rump, he squealed.
Luke's patrol car turned up behind the ambulance, and while the ambos took care of nan I told him what I knew. He wanted to talk to Adoni but I pointed out how stressed and confused he was. I had put him in my car and was sort of sitting with him trying to calm him down.
Nan was taken to the hospital with a suspected broken jaw and cracked ribs so far, she wasn't in any more pain thanks to the ambos. They said because the blood had fully dried it must have happened late last night. The gutless mongrels waited for her to go to sleep before the belted her. They didn't even do it themselves they got the women to do it.
They had gagged her mouth with a filthy oil rag to stop the sound of her screaming. I was on the verge of murdering someone and Book had to be restrained from doing any major damage. Luke's offsider had him handcuffed to the patrol car door. The elders protested it wasn't them, and kept screaming on about black man's business, but I told Luke it may not have been them, but they would have given the order.
Adoni had calmed down a little, he said he found her this morning and didn't know what to do except ring Mr. Zack. Nan had a mobile phone stashed away for emergencies and had shown him how to use it and the only name he recognized was mine. I watched Book being released and the elders being arrested. Luke shoved them into the back of his car and we locked up nans house. Adoni shyly handed me the phone which was illegal for her to have in the compound, another stupid blackfella law but the teenagers are allowed to have them, this is so fucked. I wanted to make the rest of his day as normal as possible so I suggested we go back to the farm and have something nice to eat.
As I drove along the highway, I was thinking about poor nan and the agony she must have been in all night. Those bastards will pay for what they did, they will be charged with assisting in the bashing, but unfortunately a fine and community service won't see them jailed.
My tears finally arrived when I looked into the rear vision mirror and saw the absolute sadness in Adonis's eyes. I had to pull over and get Book to drive, it was hard for me to see the road after that.
I placed my head on the window and looked out at the passing paddocks which were starting to dry out because the summer was here. When we got back home I met mum on the porch while Book took Adoni inside and got him something to eat. I worded her up and she went into a mother's protective mode. I could hear the boys trying to make him laugh as I made a beeline to our bedroom. I pulled on my running shorts and headed for the hills at a rapid pace.
My head wasn't where I wanted it to be, and I needed some space. I needed to work out if I had caused this awful thing to happen to nan, and I needed to try and place what happened to Book back into its cage. Where I had put it months ago. I caused Books abuse by not seeing the pain he was in, and I caused his father to rape him, and I also caused his mental collapse.
How could I do such a horrible thing to my best friend? I had laughed along as he joked away at school and I didn't see the pain in his eyes every time I looked into them. I saw what I wanted to see, Books love and I so desperately was in love with him even at the early age of thirteen.
Nan was a wonderful lady who had that love in her eyes for her grandson, she would have moved heaven and earth for him. I caused this pain for her too. I saw nothing but love in her eyes but I should have seen the desperation for her to change her life even though she was respected in the community, she knew that if she ever spoke to the white man about black man's problems she would be targeted. I put her in that dangerous place.
My only hope of any salvation was to make her and Books lives so much better than they were. I couldn't heal the hurt Book lived with every day on that farm, but I could move nan and Adoni to a better place in town where the black man's law doesn't count for much.
Book, my Book, how could I ever let you down so cruelly. My brain was showing me images of Books rape, his bashings his total childhood destruction by the hands of his father and gran, I didn't see it; maybe I didn't want to see it back then.
Exhausted I stepped into the swimming hole, I gasped for air my chest heaving. The cool water tried hard to shock me back to reality. I cried loudly even screamed a few times to rid myself of the guilt I felt inside. Eventually, my crying turned to gentle sniffing and I turned on my side and held myself trying to help me, trying to calm me down; I was spent.
When it was all out I was hearing birds and a gentle flow of water as it fell over the shiny rocks in our pool, his arms felt like a giant had me in his grip, he was holding me tightly and I didn't want to move; I was back in my safe place.
My need to be held stayed with me as I lay there not wanting to move and break my comfortable place. I heard a mooing sound in the distance, Daisy was restless again and I wondered if my boys could hear her too. He gently kissed the back of my neck and slowly begun to run his hands over my body.
"I know you're awake, but I want you to stay where you are for a minute. I want to talk to you and I want you to listen."
His deep voice told me he was a man in charge now, not a boy, and his large hands said he was the man in charge of his destiny and mine.
"Zach she's going to be all right, we rang the hospital and she's in better shape than it looked. Mum has taken Adam in to see her, and she will drop the boys into Jenny at the soup kitchen. This wasn't your fault Zach; it was the elders that gave the orders to a couple of younger women. They told Luke it was because she was becoming white, and they put her back in her place. It was, woman's business so he women had to take care of it."
I tightened up as I started to get angry again. He pulled me closer and his damp leg went over mine, it was cool.
After a few minutes, I nodded my understanding and moved around in the water to hold him. My eyes must look like they are popping out of their sockets they were so dry and sore, I shivered then said a small.
"Thank you."
I had broken my silence. He blew warm air into my neck and his hands took mine as he stood us up in one slow but strong move. I was a bit wobbly as he led me over to the big rock to lay in the sunshine.
He stripped me of my t-shirt and shorts, then my underwear and placed them on the rocks in the sun, then he did himself. I had my eyes opened just a slit while I watched him relieve himself of his boxers, he also put them in the sun. Then he lay down half on top of me and started warming me up with his gentle kisses and touch.
"And don't think I don't know either Zachy. I have always known that you feel responsible for my beatings. The thing is Zack, it all doesn't matter now I'm with you. If you are feeling responsible I think you should be talking to Hildy sometime in the future. Zachy I'm not that boy anymore. He doesn't exist now, and he's in a happier place because you saved him, you taught him to believe in himself again."
He started sucking on my nipples gently I loved his lips around them and his tongue lapping away making them stand to attention.
"Book, I'm sorry I didn't see it. You will never know the regret I feel over not helping you back then. My brain says I'm being silly, but my memory says I still have to help that little friend of mine, he's still living in agony."
"He's not you know Zack. Yes, he has his moments, but you did help him. You helped him by being the best friend in the world. You made me laugh and smile at your antics, you kept me safe by being the friend who invited me for many sleepovers, then came out to the farm to play. I loved those days Zack because I knew nothing was going to happen to me while I was with you, you did keep me safe. It was my fault for not saying anything. I didn't want to lose those special days with you. If I had told you, you might have hated me. Then I would have to put up with the abuse all the time. Did you ever ask yourself why I invited you to stay over a lot?" He kissed my stomach.
"No, it never occurred to me Book, I wanted to do it anyway I think I have always loved you." I returned his kisses tenfold, and as I looked into my man's eyes he was no longer the tortured boy he was back then, a man was in front of me; my man. It went from kissing to full-on sex within minutes and my gloomy mood left me. Book did this for me, he sent it away with his lovemaking that was making all my nerve endings come alive. His knees ended up beside my head as I licked and dined on my big man to my heart's content.
We lay in the sun fondling our goods for ages. I started checking Books ball sac out for lumps, once again he had fixed me.
"We have to make plans Zack, nan can't go back to the settlement it's too dangerous for her and Adam."
"I have something in mind Book, we can shift her into town. I can set up some emergency accommodation and in the meantime, Adam can maybe stay with us. I will get a team together and pack up all her things into storage, then move her, after all, that's what the elders wanted in the end."
"What do you mean, they wanted it?"
"They couldn't go through the normal channels. Questions will be asked, so they arranged her bashing to make out they didn't have a choice or a say in having her moved on she was in danger so they will blame me for taking her away." I know how these things work in the community. By giving nan a good thrashing they save face with the rest of the tribe and they stop her talking to me and Luke for good, on their sacred land.
"Strange way to go about it Zack, it just doesn't make any sense."
"Nothing to do with the tribes makes any sense Book, its the way they have been doing it for eons."
"You think they would have learned over the years; no wonder they get a mouth full of abuse from some whites."
"That would be the whites that know how they work Book; the general public doesn't want to know about it at all."
We dressed and kissed some more, it was getting hot again and I wanted to go see nan in hospital. Book and I talked some more as we walked hand in hand back to the farm. We kissed several times and at one stage Book had his hand down the back of my shorts, I think he was planning an attack on my bum tonight.
We showered and changed, then Book drove us into town. At the hospital we found Adam snuggled up in bed with his nan, who was looking a bit weary but she managed a smile for us both.
"What plans have you for old nan and her handsome grandson Mr. Zack?" Adoni snuggled in and giggled. I gave her a forehead kiss and smiled. I knew then she knew what was happening back at the reserve.
"I was thinking about some emergency accommodation, but in hindsight, you had better just move to the farm. We have the room and Book is going to do some renovations soon, and if you don't mind living in a caravan for a while one of the new rooms has your name on it."
"You are too generous just a small place in town will do us won't it, my beautiful pickaninny?" Adam again giggled.
"It's all up to you nan, the offer is there and you know you will be safe with us."
"I will let you know tomorrow." She looked tired and I wanted to go see our kids. Adam was staying right where he was, the matron said she will make up a bed for him for the night, nan will be okay to come home tomorrow. She will stay in a motel room until I can sort something more permanent out for them. Either that or she can come live with us for a while. I'm sure the kids won't mind sharing a room with us while we have guests in the house.
We were too late for the soup kitchen so I rang Aunty they were all at her place. They started crying when we walked through to the kitchen at aunt's place. I picked Beetle up and gave him some pretty wonderful daddy kisses, I think they had missed us. Book had Lucky and Jenny was fussing around them while she told us that mum had gone back to the farm to organize the boy's afternoon teas. There was no reason that they were upset except somewhere along the way they must have heard I went to the swimming hole without them, I suppose.
We arrived back home around six, mum had the tea on and was sitting on the porch waiting for us. The kids headed inside and I heard the TV go on that will amuse them for the next hour or so.
"Did you get her sorted out Zack?"
"Yes mum, I called into the motel they have a room with a kitchen she can stay in until I can get something more permanent sorted out."
"She should come here, Zack." Book said.
"I don't think she will Book, she needs her own space and she does watch Adam twenty-four seven. I would like to get him into school a few days a week so he can meet some normal kids and not be locked away. But I will talk to nan about that when she is more settled."
"Okay sons go wash up, dinner will be ready in ten minutes." Mum went inside to get the food ready, I kissed Book and said thank you once more then we went to wash up.
If I think about it, nans situation wasn't that different from Hildy's. They both needed to leave the compound, and I guess put up with a lot of abuse to get their way. Unfortunately, the black man's law was their way or no way. I smiled to myself and was kind of proud of old nan, she will have a better life in town and Book and I will see that she does.
Food was eaten and the men bantered back and forth as a sort of nervous happiness came over the farm. I was talking to Book about Bessie and how restless she seems. He said she hates the lower paddock and he would like to move her up to the farmyard again.
"Well the kids can hear her anyway, if she's up here or down there they still hear her, so why not bring her back up. At least she's a little more settled around the yard."
"I will do that in the morning then, I do miss seeing her around and I don't trust her to keep her hooves away from the fences." Book laughed.
Around eight Book and I bathed the boys and played with them a bit as we dressed both for bed. They giggled and were being just the cutest kids, my heart melted with every sound.
We got them settled into bed, and we turned the TV down and watched some show mum liked. Books hand moved onto mine and he squeezed it a bit and when I looked over at him he was looking at me. I yawned, he yawned, I flopped my head back he did the same.
"For god's sake go to bed you two, let me watch my show in peace."
"But Its too early mum."
She gave us both a stare that would melt ice and replied.
"I'm sure you can find something to play with before you go to sleep." That was our cue, mums starting to get personal, so we kissed her goodnight and almost ran into our room.
I had Books clothes off in an instant, but I didn't push him on the bed, I wanted to hold him standing up. We moved back and forth slow dancing while I kissed his face and neck, to him we were playing pirates with our swords at the ready, to me, I was savoring every perfect moment with my man.
I woke up in the middle of the night and went to have a pee, as I returned to the bed I looked out the window and everything felt so peaceful. The moon was huge tonight and its beams were lighting up the bedroom. I stood and watched it for a minute, that was when Book attacked me. He needed the toilet and as he passed by he whispered.
"Stay there."
I did what I was told as I listened to him in the bathroom. He came back and wrapped his strong arms around me and we both watched the moon. It was two am by the time he let me go. The hardness of his body was pressed against me for ages as he had his wicked way with me again. I didn't mind because he was also, my gentle Book.
The craziness was happening again in the morning, Book had left to go check the cattle and the little ones were in front of the TV when I came out for breakfast. I had laid in bed thinking about last night, smiling to myself and remembering my gentle giant's kisses. I looked over to his floorboards where he has hidden his pirate treasure and wondered if I could add to it somehow. Maybe go to the bank and buy some more gold or some coins. That would make the perfect wedding present for my Book.
"What did you decide about the wedding cake son?"
"Well I ran through it with aunty, and we will go for the cupcakes we can get the stands when we buy the silk bags and sweets."
"Do you want me to order them?" I thought about it for a second and said.
"Yes mum, I think you will have a better grip on what we need more than me."
"Okay, I will give Molly a ring sometime this morning."
"I have to go to Centrelink (welfare office) and see Jill about nan."
"What have you got planned for her Zack?" Mum poured me another coffee.
"I want to move Margaret Woolsey and her family into that Cranley woman's house, there is plenty of room for her big family there. And Nan can have her two-bedroom house, she will be safe in that area there's plenty of her folk living there, and it's opposite the school. But I need Jill's okay with it all"
"Will nan need furniture baby?"
"I don't think so mum, we had better get someone out to the compound to collect her things too."
"Okay just let me know if I can do anything."
"You already are mum; we would be lost without you."
She blushed as the boys came in for something to eat.
Book hugged mum and stole some toast, then he kissed me and whispered a thank you in my ear. I guess he's still thinking about our early morning romp; or was that a moonstruck moment?
"I will organize nans things to be moved Zack, do you still use that moving company?"
I can do that Book it's no trouble at all."
"I want to be there baby, I will meet them at her house then they can store it for a week or two until she gets something set up."
"Book there's no need for you to be there."
"Oh yes there is Zachy, those shunts will steal anything and nan will end up with nothing in the end." Okay Book do your security thing; I suppose he feels the need to be involved.
The egg and bacon pies hit the table and Book took a whole one, he cut it in two and passed the other piece over to me grinning at the boys. So Sam did the same with the other one, and sat back and grinned at him saying.
"I hope you are going to share your portion with our mum boss." Then he and young Douglas proceeded to lick their pies before Book could protest. I held onto mine when he said my name, and mum with hands on her hips said.
"Well lucky I made an extra one this morning. " She giggled to herself as she took the third one out of the oven. Book was immediately onto it but mum stood her ground.
"You would let your sons and mum starve would you Mr. Burns?"
Book blushed and shoved more of his pie into his gob.
Please consider a donation to Nifty