What follows is a work of complete fiction. Please treat it as you would other works of fiction. On second thought, don't do that. Legally, don't get yourself in trouble. Remember to donate to Nifty so works like this can continue to find a home. Feedback is always welcome, and encouraged, at lbrimstone00@gmail.com.
Kids are considered legal adults at the age of eighteen in the state of Virginia. Blue Rider counted down the days to his eighteenth birthday. Two years ago he'd figured out a plan for the rest of his life. Blue, who sometimes went by Rider, was not content with his future prospects at home. Every sixteen year old goes through a time when they feel restrained and alone, but for Blue these feelings were stronger than expected.
Blue had no friends. Well, he hung around with his teammates from baseball and a few kids in math class, but he didn't have a real connection with them. It was tough to relate with anyone in high school. Some time in his freshman year, Blue determined he was gay. There was no moment of decision, it was more of an acceptance of who he had been all along.
At first it wasn't a big deal. No one knew and he kept it that way. But as time went on, people began to grow suspicious. His teammates teased him in the locker room while they drove off after school with their girlfriends. None of it bothered him though, why should it? Blue figured that there were guys like him all over the country and someday he'd leave Virginia to find them. Granted, his whole state wasn't intolerant, but his hometown wasn't the most accepting. Blue only cared about how his mother felt.
There was more to Blue than his sexuality. He grew up without a father in a small house a few blocks from school. It wasn't much, and the yard could use some work, but it was all he ever knew. Blue respected his mother and her efforts to provide for the two of them. She had attended college before leaving in her junior year when she became pregnant. June, his mother, worked as a writer for the local paper. It had always been her dream to write for a national publication, but no one seemed to take notice of her articles. Blue owed a lot of tough advice and opportunities to his mother, she was the one who encouraged him to try out for the baseball team.
Blue was a star when it came to playing ball. He was the only freshman who made the varsity team at school. Baseball was a constant throughout his life. Blue didn't much watch the sport since he spent most of his time playing it. Practice makes perfect after all. There was an appeal in the competition and intense focus of the sport. He excelled off the field as well.
Math came easy to Blue. His teammates tended to struggle in geometry and pre-calculus, but none of that proved difficult for him. Numbers just came naturally, especially statistics. Blue stayed humble about his talent through the praise of classmates. He scored near perfect on the math portion of the SAT, too bad he never applied to college. It was part of his plan.
Blue turned eighteen the day he graduated from high school. He spent the next day packing his bags. When he was sixteen he promised himself that he'd leave home once he finished school. His mom was made the same promise. She remained silent for the past week. After he first told her they fought every night when June got back from work. Blue shouted about how she'd never loved him, and hearing himself say those words, even if they weren't true, hurt.
"You don't love me, you look out for me," He'd said when she got back late one night.
"Go to your room," was her reply. Blue felt like he was being punished just for existing. His mother never said it, but Blue suspected she blamed him for never achieving her dreams. It was choking. Having to come home from school to an empty house and wait to face her look of disappointment.
For a while, the fighting and feeling of rejection got to him. Upholding his promise seemed hard because it required so much effort. No one wants to fight with their mother. Blue would go to his room and cry after most of the shouting matches, sometimes he heard her do the same. He imagined none of the other guys at school cried as much as he did, or at all. But every weekday morning at six, Blue put on a brave face and caught the bus.
He put on his bravest face the day he left for good. June stood in the hallway and watched as her son gathered up all of his things from his room. It didn't take very long since they never had much. Her stare haunted him, but he stayed resolute. Blue left the house for the last time with two suitcases and his backpack. His mother stood in the doorway.
"Goodbye," she said. There might've been a tear on her cheek. Blue said nothing.
The plan was to take a train to California. Blue had an aunt living outside of Los Angeles, Maura. She was his dad's sister. He knew who his dad was, Colin Rider, but not where he was. No one knew where Colin was since the day June found out she was pregnant. Maura felt sorry for Blue after he'd sent her a letter a few months before he planned to leave. She was open to the idea of letting him share her apartment since her roommate was moving out, so long as he could pay his share of the rent.
Blue boarded a train that afternoon which would take two days to arrive in LA. He had gotten a ticket for a sleeper car. After stowing his bags he sat in the empty cabin and thought. The cost was high, but now Blue had a chance at a new life. Most people would give a lot to be able to go back and reinvent themselves. It would be difficult at first since he was only eighteen, didn't have a college degree, and lacked any professional experience. He would make the most of having a sharp mind since baseball wouldn't come in handy anymore. An eager young gun like himself could find work in one of the busiest cities in the country if he tried hard enough.
Train rides are almost worse than airplane trips. The two positives of taking a train are the legroom and the scenery. Blue was lucky he had his own cabin. A few times he went out into the main seating area to stretch his legs. It was full of noisy children and pretentious geezers. One time he wound up in conversation with a girl his age on her way to Denver.
"Where're you headed?" she asked.
"Los Angeles. You?" Blue replied. He was never one to pass up a conversation. Blue was bubbling with energy despite his gloomy home life.
"Back home to Denver. You look like you're from Cali," she said. The girl had an inviting smile and wise eyes. It was nice to talk to someone who had something other than sex, alcohol, or sports on their mind.
"Matter of fact I'm from Virginia. I've never been told I look like I'm from California."
"Must be the blonde hair. You should say you're from somewhere other than Virginia. You look too interesting to be from Virginia," she laughed. "I'm Leslie, and I have a boyfriend so don't look so uncomfortable."
"I'm Blue," he said. Blue felt out of place in flirtatious conversations; he was sort of awkward at it.
"Oh, I've never met someone named Blue before. Well nice to meet you," she replied.
Leslie was Blue's first step in forging a new identity. She planted the idea that he could be anyone he wanted. No one would know who he was, where he came from, or what he was doing. Of course there were disadvantages which came with being a nobody. Getting hired without a résumé or experience won't be easy. Making friends, even meeting people, is harder in a new place. But Blue could say he was from Oregon and moved to Los Angeles looking for a job.
The train arrived two days later. Blue was nervous about meeting Maura. Leslie was long gone and he spent the last quarter of the trip in silence. He disembarked with one last deep inhale. There were a lot of people getting off with him, after all, this was the terminus of most train lines. At first the swarming exodus was overwhelming, but Blue managed to find the elevator bank without getting trampled.
Above ground, he caught his first true glimpse of the city. The sun was shining down on the distant buildings. Everything felt different. Union Station was also a noteworthy building with an architectural aesthetic unlike anything in Virginia. Blue couldn't wait to start wandering around the city and seeing what it had to offer.
He looked around outside for Maura. She had told him to meet her out in the courtyard area. He'd seen pictures and figured he could spot her. It ended up being Maura who found Blue.
"Blue?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder from behind. He turned around to face her, let go of his bags, and embraced her in a hug.
"Maura, it's good to meet you," he said.
"You too," she replied and reciprocated the gesture after fully comprehending it.
"Do you actually live here, in LA?" Blue asked.
"Not quite in the city, but just outside it. Come on, we'll go back now, I'm sure you've had enough trains for a lifetime," she said.
Blue took to liking Maura right away. She had this cool look of uncaring seriousness like a physicist at a sports match. Her hair was shorter, but there was nothing trendy about her clothes. Blue thought she lived outside of the mainstream in modern asceticism. They had the same hair color.
Maura drove a sedan, last year's popular factory model. Blue hauled his bags into the trunk and hopped into the passenger seat. The car was organized and clean. It was as if the car never got on the road after being driven home from the showroom. Maura got into the car after taking a short phone call.
"Sorry about that, coworkers. Ready to go?" she asked.
"Yup. Is this a new car?" Blue replied.
"No I've had this for a few years. I don't drive much, my bike gets me where I need to go. Work's only a few blocks from my apartment," Maura explained.
"Wow, that's great."
"Yeah, makes things easier," Maura started the car and pulled away from the curb.
The drive over lasted forty minutes, and to Blue's surprise they avoided hitting traffic. It was an off time of day. He learned that Maura was twenty-six, his dad's younger sister, and worked as an accountant for a local firm. She told him about some of the things to do near the apartment; restaurants, bookstores, parks. The conversation never got serious until they were out of the car and inside.
"I'm sorry to bring this up, but I think we need to talk about you situation once and get it over with. Just to make sure you're ok. Like what all roommates do, I think," Maura said.
"It's cool," Blue replied.
"I already know about my idiot brother, but what about the rest of your life? Why'd you want to leave?"
"Well I never felt like I fit in. I played baseball at school, aced all my classes, and got along well enough, but I never had friends. Plus my mom didn't make things easier."
"What'd she do? If you don't mind me asking."
Blue shook his head, "she never really did anything, that's the point. I feel like, she never loved me, like I was just a bother." His voice caught in his throat.
"I'm sorry. Let's drop it and I'll show you your room, unfortunately it's not much," Maura said.
Blue liked the feel of the apartment. It was small, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating the living and kitchen area. All of the floors were wood except for the bathroom. The walls were a flat cream color and everything looked to be in working order. Maura had a minimal amount of furnishings.
His room was a perfect size. Blue had a full bed next to a large window with a deep marble sill, otherwise it was bare. But this was a place he could call his own. He would unload his things and once he found a job he'd have money for other furnishings.
"Wow, this's great," Blue said.
"I'm glad you like it," Maura replied.
"So, how much's the rent?" Blue asked.
"Well I pay twelve hundred a month. If you're neat and don't bring home any crazies, I'd say five hundred is fair."
"Sure. I'm going to start looking for jobs tomorrow, first thing."
"There's a new fitness center that opened a few blocks away. You might want to try looking there, especially since you don't have a car."
"Thanks, I'll check it out," Blue said.
"If you want, we can get dinner in a few hours. I just have a few things to take care of for work," Maura said.
"I'd love it."
Things were going smoothly for Blue. Maura was great and the apartment would be more than enough. Of course he'd like to have his own place, but that was out of the question for the time being. This was where his plan ended. Now Blue had to plot a new course for his life in California. He unpacked his things and made his bed. It dawned on him that he was living a new life, and he had no connection to his old life. Tomorrow he'd need to get a cellphone.
Dead and buried was Blue Rider of Virginia. A boy who felt uncared for and alone. Blue Rider of Oregon was still being invented, not yet developed to completion. But there were some details of the old Blue which could never be overwritten. Some of the pain would never leave.