Blissful Tears

Blissful Tears

by Kenitra

Other Stories by Me!

(All under boy-bands)

First Anniversary

Millennium Love

Fates Reason

Ice Storm

Set You Free

Ten Guys, One Night

So, how are people liking it so far? Thank you to those who wrote after the last chapter. I really appreciate it!

I must give a big Thank You to Justin for giving me the title Blissful Tears and for creating the wonderful image for this story in the Boy Band Screensaver. Thanks must also be given to Chris and Neo, for your chats and suggestions. You guys are all great!

Now for those of you who are here because I told you to read this story in the intro to Millennium Love...I hope you take the time to read all of Blissful Tears. BUT, if you don't...I thought I'd let you know that Brian's version of Ch34 will be posted Monday, regardless of how much email I get...I just can't be cruel and hold it back from those who read it loyally.

PLEASE take a few seconds and let me know what you think of either or both stories!

Disclaimer: Oh, do I have to do this again?
Well, I'd hope by now everyone knows it, but just in case:
1. If you shouldn't be here, don't tell me and don't get caught!
2. I don't know any of the people mentioned in the story...it's fiction folks!

If you have any comments about this story, please email me at kenitra_canada@hotmail.com I try to respond to every single email I get!

As always, thank you for reading!
Kenitra:-)

Chapter 6

Brian was sitting sideways on the couch. AJ handed him his coffee and sat down facing him. Neither could stop staring at the other as they sat quietly for a few moments drinking the hot liquid.

Finally AJ spoke. "Do you remember, about four years ago when we were in London and Leighanne came to visit?" he asked quietly. Brian nodded. "You and I were going to go sight seeing but I was feeling sick, so you went with Leighanne." AJ waited for Brian to nod again before continuing. "I wasn't sick. I wanted to spend the day alone with you. That was when I realized that I was in love with you; that was when I realized that I was gay."

Brian watched Alex closely as he spoke. He could here the pain in his voice as he remembered the event. Brian wished he could remove the hurt he'd caused, even though he didn't know he'd done it. He thought it was interesting that AJ admitted his love before admitting he was gay. Brian softly stroked AJ's face. "I'm sorry I didn't know Alex. I'm sorry I hurt you," he said softly. AJ smiled.

Brian took his turn. "I remember back in early 1998, everything was falling apart. We were all upset; there was the lawsuit and my surgery. When everything finally came out about Lou, you were so devastated. We were all worried about you. Even though I was supposed to be thinking about my surgery, all I could think about was you. I remembered how hard it had been for you to put your trust in someone; then to have that trust betrayed. I wanted to kill Lou for hurting you like that. I was stunned the first time I thought that. I'd never felt so strongly about anything before. All I wanted to do was take away the pain that I could see in your eyes. Then later when Denniz died," Brian paused as he was washed with the emotions he'd felt. "All I wanted to do was hold you, let you cry, and comfort you. I was so afraid when you started to withdraw. I thought you might quit and I knew I would die if you did that. That was when I knew I loved you." He looked at AJ and could see unshed tears hiding in his eyes. "I never told anyone until now," he said softly. "I'm sorry I was such a coward," Brian added as tears began to fall.

AJ took the two coffee cups and set them on the table before pulling Brian into a hug. "You're not a coward, babe. Now that we know the truth about each other, lets leave the past behind us. The only thing I want to think about is a future with you," he said tenderly.

Brian held onto him tightly. "I love you so much Alex," he whispered. They remained in that position for a few minutes.

Brian finally pulled back and wiped his damp face with his hand. "You should call your Mom, Alex," he said, then his eyes widened, "and I should call Kevin. He's probably called in a missing persons report by now," he added with a guilty smile.

AJ grinned. "I have a feeling that Kev knows where you are. I think we were set up last night," AJ said as he began to go over what had happened at the end of the night. "Damn that boy is good," he said to himself.

Brian looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

AJ stood up to get the phone. "It's a long story, babe. Why don't we rearrange things and have my Mom and the guys over here for dinner? That way we can spend the rest of the afternoon together, and don't have to get too dressed up to go out."

"We're going to tell them all today, about us?" Brian asked hesitantly. He hadn't even thought about that yet.

AJ heard the hesitation and felt a little hurt. "You don't want to tell them?" he asked quietly, not looking at Brian.

Brian glanced quickly at AJ and immediately walked over to him. He put his finger under AJ's chin and lifted his head to meet his eyes. "Of course I want to tell them Alex. I want to shout it from the rooftop. I just was taken by surprise. Everything is moving so quickly that I'm still a little bewildered. I love you, Alex and I want those closest to us to know. Okay?" He was relieved when the hurt left AJ's face and the wondrous love returned. "Now call Denise."

AJ dialed and waited for his Mom to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Mom, its me," AJ said as he walked back to Brian who had returned to the couch to finish his coffee.

"So what's going on dear?" Denise asked curiously.

"I was wondering if we could change dinner plans and have you come here for dinner? I want you to meet someone," AJ replied grinning at Brian.

"Of course. Will anyone else be coming?"

"Yeah, the rest of the guys will be here too." AJ and Denise discussed the time. She insisted on buying the food and promised to pick up a large order of Chinese food for everyone. Dinner was set for six. "Okay, Mom. Love ya." AJ shut off the phone, then handed it to Brian. "Your turn, babe," he said with a grin. "I'm gonna go make some lunch for us, okay?"

Brian nodded and took the phone. He watched AJ walk back to the kitchen, still wearing only his boxers. God he was beautiful. He didn't know what he was going to tell Kevin, but he dialed the number.

"City morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em," Nick said as he answered the phone.

"God, that is so old Nicky," Brian said with a giggle.

"Hey B, where ya at?" Nick asked.

"Um, I decided to crash at AJ's last night, it was pretty late," Brian replied.

"Oh, that's cool. That's what we kinda thought. You wanna talk to Kev? Or do ya need a ride home?"

"Actually, I thought I'd hang out with Alex, since it's his birthday. He wanted to know if y'all want to come here for dinner. Denise is picking up a bunch of Chinese food so we can all pig out," Brian explained, trying to avoid talking to Kevin right away.

"Hold on a minute and I'll check."

(at Kevin, Howie and Brian's apartment)

Nick covered the phone and looked at the other two. "Brian is going to hang out with *Alex* today," he said, emphasizing the name Alex. The other two grinned. "They want us to come for dinner. Denise is picking up Chinese."

"Oh we'll be there," Kevin said quickly. "Wouldn't miss this for anything." Howie nodded his agreement, and Nick went back to the phone.

"Hey, Bri, everyone said sure. What time?"

"Around six is when Denise is coming. I'll see ya then Nick." Brian hung up the phone and wandered back into the kitchen. He sat down at the table and watched AJ cook.

"What ya cooking love?" he asked softly.

AJ looked up and grinned. "Macaroni and cheese!"

Brian laughed deeply. "My God, you do love me!" AJ joined in laughing. He walked over to the table and stole a kiss.

Both men stopped laughing as the quick kiss suddenly heated up. Brian stood up to wrap his arms around AJ's back, pulling him tightly to him. Time stood still as all that existed was each other, and their hungry, seeking lips.

The water boiling the pasta suddenly began to spill over, hissing on the hot burner. They reluctantly pulled apart. Brian looked at AJ in amazement.

"I had no idea what kissing was until now," he breathed.

AJ smiled tenderly and went back to the stove. He glanced back at Brian. "Well we have the rest of the afternoon to discover what else you didn't know about," he said huskily and giggled as he saw the shiver run though Brian.

They were both ravenous and quickly devoured the food when it was cooked. Brian was nervous. While AJ had had almost four years to accept the fact that he was gay, and had experience with other men, Brian had none. The only person he'd been with intimately was Leighanne. He wasn't sure what AJ would want or expect from him and how soon.

AJ watched Brian as they ate. He had a good idea what he was thinking. AJ knew Brian had very little sexual experience, and none with another man. He promised himself he wouldn't push or rush Brian into anything. All that mattered right now was that they were together.

AJ dumped the dishes into the dishwasher. Brian remained where he was simply watching his love. AJ walked back over to the table, and took Brian by the hand. He brought the hand to his lips and kissed the palm softly. He raised his eyes to Brian's and saw the hesitation there.

"Why don't you go shower, babe, and I'll find you some clothes to wear," he suggested. Brian visibly relaxed and smiled.

"Thanks, Alex," he said quietly and gently kissed him. "Try not to pick out something too outrageous for me, huh?" he added with a grin and turned to go down the hall.

AJ swatted his ass as he walked out. "None of my stuff is outrageous, its just unique," AJ protested.

AJ heard the water start and finished clearing the table before walking back to the bedroom. He had a permanent smile plastered on his face. It was his twenty-second birthday and he finally got exactly what he'd wished for. He hummed to himself as he went through his closet. Finally settling on a pair of jeans, white t-shirt and black leather vest for Brian, he pulled the clothes out and set them on the bed. He decided he'd wear something tame as well and pulled out some black jeans and a black t-shirt.

He lay back on the bed as he waited for Brian to finish. They had so much to talk about; not the least of which was Brian's fiancee Leighanne. AJ couldn't deny the trepidation he felt about Leighanne and the rest of Brian's family. They had never said anything to AJ, but he'd felt their disgust and contempt anytime he'd been near them.

AJ sat up suddenly. If Brian told his family, they would hate him, but if he didn't they would expect him to marry Leighanne. Which he wouldn't, would he? AJ shook his head, not enjoying where his thoughts were leading him. This didn't all have to be decided today.

He heard the water shut off and waited for Brian to return. AJ's eyes lit up when Brian walked through the door with only a towel around his waist. His skin still glistened with drops of water. "God, you're gorgeous," he whispered incredulously.

Brian smiled shyly and blushed. "Thank you, love," he said softly as he walked over to the bed. AJ rose to meet him and they stared into each other's eyes for a few moments.

AJ wanted to rip the towel off Brian and worship his incredible body. Instead, he broke eye contact and turned to the bed, indicating the clothes he'd selected. "These okay, B?"

Brian glanced at the clothes and smiled. "Perfect, just like you." He didn't care how corny it sounded, that's how he felt.

AJ grinned. "Good. I'll get my shower then we can spend the afternoon together, okay?"

Brian nodded and waited until AJ had left before picking up the clothes. It was strange. He felt so shy around Alex now. On tour, they had all seen each other naked at one time or another, the close confines of the bus made it impossible not to. But it was different now. He knew he would get over it, but it was still a little weird.

He pulled the clothes on and ran the towel over his hair trying to dry it more. While he'd been showering, he'd been thinking about life; his life. His parents had raised him to be respectful, honest, and religious. He knew he would never completely give up his religion, but it had become difficult reconciling the doctrine of the church, with what he knew to be true. He had been born the way he was. He hadn't chosen to be gay, but now he had chosen to accept himself for who he was. He loved Alex more than he thought he could ever love another human and he wasn't about to deny himself or Alex of that love.

He walked out to the living room and stood by the window, looking out over the city. He knew he would lose his family, or at least a large part of it. Brian never doubted that Kevin would stand by him, and Kevin's family never reacted to Alex the way his own had, so he may not lose everyone. A calm washed over him as he accepted that fact. His family in exchange for a life with Alex was a price he would pay. It would hurt; he knew he couldn't fool himself about that. But he knew he had to lead his own life and that life included Alex.

Brian turned his thoughts to Leighanne. She would be hurt, but he hoped someday she would forgive him and they could be friends. He did care about her, he loved her like a friend. But never had he felt hot and flushed when she was in the room, never did he get aroused by just thinking about her; not like he did with Alex. Brian grinned as his thoughts turned to Alex.

He felt the two strong arms wrap around his waist. "What ya thinking about?" AJ asked softly, his hot breath tickling Brian's ear.

Brian folded his arms across AJ's and leaned back, sighing. "Just about you and how much I love you, Alex," he said quietly.

They stood there staring out the window, holding each other for a long time.

Brian broke the silence. "This feels so right. Why was I so afraid of it?" he said softly.

AJ hugged him tighter. "I think you had a lot of baggage with your beliefs and family, as well as the public perception, to work through. It's not easy babe. Even now that you've admitted it to me and will be to the guys, it's still something that we have to keep hidden. It's hard hiding who you are," AJ added.

Brian turned around to face AJ. "But I've wasted so much time," Brian whispered.

AJ smiled gently and took Brian's face in his hands. "No. We weren't meant to be, until now. If we got together sooner it wouldn't have worked because we weren't ready. This is karma, or fate or God's will, whatever you want to call it. It's the way it's supposed to be."

AJ lowered his hands until he found Brian's. Taking those warm fingers in his own, AJ leaned forward to kiss Brian. They leaned into each other, their hands clasped and lips connected. It was a sweet, yet sexy kiss that promised so much more. Gradually their lips parted and slowly tongues began to explore again. Brian submitted to AJ's more experienced tongue, welcoming it into his warm mouth. Shivers ran through him as AJ's tongue tasted and teased his mouth, lips and tongue. AJ delved into every recess of the hot cavern, wanting to learn all of its secrets. He was delighted when his actions elicited a soft moan from his angel. Their bodies instinctively moved closer together until their chests, hips and thighs were touching.

Brian gasped again when he felt AJ's hard member pressed against him. Brian automatically withdrew slightly from the embrace. AJ sensed his hesitation and broke the kiss. "Sorry, babe, but you do that to me," he apologized, not letting go of Brian completely.

Brian smiled and blushed. "You do the same to me, Alex," he said softly.

AJ walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling Brian down beside him. He put his arm around Brian's shoulder and Brian relaxed against his arm.

"I know this is all new to you, Brian," AJ began. "I want you to know that I'm not going to rush you or try to force you into anything you're not completely ready for. I'm going to leave the progression of our physical relationship up to you."

Brian sat forward a little so he could look at AJ. He searched AJ's dark brown eyes, looking for any regret or disappointment. He found none. "Thank you," he said with a smile.

AJ leaned forward for a quick kiss. "But don't think that doesn't mean I won't ask once in a while or joke about it. But that's all it will be, joking. Only when you're sure you want to move to the next level, will we. Okay?" he asked.

Brian nodded. "Okay." He leaned back against the strong arm and closed his eyes. "It's strange. I already know so much about you, your likes and dislikes, what makes you laugh, what frightens you. It's like we've already gotten all the little 'getting to know you' stuff out of the way."

"Yeah. So we can just focus on the more intimate aspects of our relationship," AJ whispered. After another few minutes of silence, AJ finally asked the question. "So what's going to happen with Leighanne, and your family Brian?" He immediately felt Brian tense and wished he hadn't asked, at least not yet. But it was too late.

After initially tensing, Brian let out a long, slow sigh. He leaned back closer to AJ and AJ held him tighter, wanting to protect him. "I'm going to tell Leighanne the truth, as soon as I get back; so probably in a couple of days. My family..." Brian fell silent.

AJ softly kissed Brian's cheek. "We don't have to do this now, babe. Forget about it for now," he suggested.

Brian shook his head. "No Alex. I thought about it earlier. I have to live my life for me, and that means a life with you. I won't like it, but if I have to choose between my family and loving you, I choose you. You and the guys have been my family for the past almost eight years. As long as I have that, I have a family that will love me and accept me for who I am."

AJ could hear the tremor in Brian's voice, but he could also hear the determination. He smiled against Brian's cheek; he knew that once Brian set his mind to something, he wouldn't waver. AJ was awed that Brian was willing to give up his family for him.

AJ pulled Brian closer to him, and swung his legs up on the couch, leaning against the back, so Brian was lying in front of him. He let his arm hang over the edge so both of them could use it as a pillow. He spooned up close to Brian and relaxed. His other arm rested on Brian's chest. "I could just stay like this forever," he whispered.

"Me too," Brian whispered back, raising AJ's hand to his lips and softly kissing each of the fingers. They were both still tired from the late night and drifted off to sleep.

To be continued...

Kenitra:-)