For Things That Cannot Be by Max Millan
"How's the new lieutenant?" he said while rubbing the top of my head.
"I'm good and looking good," I said.
The drive back to our hometown was just a blur to me. My short conversations with my uncle during trip were very automatic. He probably quit prodding me when he sensed that I was not really in the mood to talk. He remained quiet for the most part of the trip. I felt too bad because he was just as excited as my dad to see me graduate. The following days waiting for my post and briefing announcement were also a blur until the reality set in that I was going into active duty.
"Joe, there's a letter for you," I heard my mom calling from downstairs.
Mom handed me the letter that I quickly opened. I was being assigned to a base in the North East. "Of all the places, why send me a place that freezes during winter," I said to myself. The house stirred up preparing for my eventual departure. My dad was excited that I finally became a true soldier, however I could see the sadness brewing in my mom's eyes. This was me leaving the house where she raised me to start my own life.
I told my folks that I would be taking the train because it's much cheaper, but my uncle insisted that I fly, and he was going to pay the fare. There was no helping it. During my departure, my mom finally broke down in the airport. I kept telling her that I was not disappearing or anything. I would just be somewhere else and could always return. I said, I would make sure to call her regularly.
I was able to adjust to life in the base somewhat, however it took a while to get used to hearing people calling me sir and giving orders to soldier who were much older than me. I was confident that I would be given some field job because of how I looked and how I carried myself, but I was put on office duty tracking inventory for the meantime. I procured a desktop computer during my first month of stay. It was my first big purchase out of my on hard earned cash. I opted to stay inside the base while I got myself acclimated to the area. I could also walk to my place of work just like going to my classes back in college. It was a matter of familiarity, I guess. The dormitory were mostly occupied by ranking members of the service who were still single and some senior enlisted members. I was given my own room. Unlike the room back in college, this one look more like a studio apartment. I have my own bathroom, and there's a small kitchen. My trusty pickup also arrived early.
Most nights I checked for updates from the Internet. Shawn found a coaching job in his old high school. He had reconnected with people who he went to high school with and seemed to be doing fine. He's been busy posting picture from his previous night outs. Daisuke went back to Japan, and I couldn't read most of the things he was postings. Ashley was happily posting a picture of her and Slater. They had their private wedding with a Justice of Peace before moving to Slater's post, and they were planning for another wedding ceremony maybe next year for everyone. Slater was assigned a different base out West. He was also waiting for when he is going to be shipped out. Matt would posts some nonsense rumblings and funny links.
I had several outstanding messages mostly asking where I was at.
I posted my first update, "I'm being cooked by North Eastern witches."
Not a minute went by. I had quite a few responses.
"Poor witches. - Matt"
"I'm happy you're still alive. - Dai"
"Eewww!!! - Ashley Loves Slater"
Some more showed up after I refreshed.
"You're no fun. How come you're not posting nothing? - Shawn"
"His hands are busy. - Matt"
I kept reading the messages laughing by myself even to non-funny entries. And when it came to keeping my hands busy, Matt had found another avenue to get himself involve sort of. Well, it wasn't really all his idea. For about a month before I became accustom to my new life, I would send Matt a message complaining about the fact that I was usually stuck in my room doing nothing but beat off.
"I think my dick is complaining now," said one message I sent him.
"Why, it doesn't wanna cooperate?" Matt replied.
"It used to spring out by just me thinking about jacking off."
"You've worn it out."
"Nah, I'm just running out of inspiration."
"Need a hand?"
"I wish, LOL."
Normally my complaining ended there.
Matt told me, "check your email."
I turned on my computer and opened my email. It said, "I looked up some inspirations for you." Matt sent me some video links. He labeled the third one, "watch this last." Curious as to what was on the videos, I scanned through them. The first two videos where like the ones he saw me watching back in college big guys going to town on a petite girl. The third one made me smile a little. It was one of those skin flicks that made to look like an amateur video where some football players being entertained by an over enthusiastic cheerleader.
"You're funny Matt," I replied to his email.
He must had been on his computer because he answered my email immediately, "Ha-ha, you're gonna like it. I already tried it out for you."
"Sure, you're not one of these guys? – Joe"
"I wish that would have been fun. Watch the guy she's gonna give the longest blow job. Dude is built like me. – Matt"
"OK, I'll think he's you. – Joe"
"I'm cool with that. Have fun. – Matt"
So from time to time when I checked my email, I would see similar emails from Matt.
My nights was not as free going like before. There's a curfew, so night out outside the base had to be planned. You would need sleeping arrangement if you want to stay longer outside the base then return back for your next duty. The officers hung out with fellow officers. Privates, corporals and sergeants normally formed their own groups which was something that sort of irritated me because some of the officers were party killers, and I could hear the enlisted personnel talked about what they did the previous night in the office. I was jealous. Rules were in placed that prevents officers and enlisted personnel from fraternizing while in active duty. Plus it also applied to officers of different ranks. There were two other officers that I regularly went out, but we were always in the look out of not making asses of ourselves when we're in the bar with enlisted men. This cut down tremendously to our merriment that's why it's much better going back to the dormitory if we plan on drinking more than what was humanly possible. I mean, if we really wanted to get hammered. Friday nights going into the weekend offered some possibilities but if you had no place to go to pass your time on weekends it could get very expensive renting hotel room. Lady friends were allowed in the dorm but you just had to watch for the dorm rules. Among your fellow servicemen it wasn't frown upon, but the dorm manager might have something to say about it. They said civilian building manager were normally worse than the managers who were also in the service. It's a game of cat and mouse sometimes.
I found myself complaining to Matt about my sudden realization that living inside the base was not as free as I was used to. Not knowing about military life inside the base, he could not really give me any suggestions. On the hindsight, I was not really looking for his suggestion it was just my way of telling him that I was thriving. Many times when I found myself stuck in the dormitory, I waited for some of his nonsense messages. I didn't know if he was just trying to make me jealous or just trying to include me to whatever things he felt like sharing. He would send me messages about the bar he was in. The people he was with and some tidbits how the night was going.
"This place is packed. - Matt"
"Where you at now? - Joe"
"Skyboxxx or something – Matt"
"How come you didn't know? - Joe"
"My third bar tonight with some of my coworkers. - Matt"
"Are you wasted now? - Joe"
"A little bit – Matt"
He lived downtown, so I wasn't really too concern about him driving drunk. He said that he could pretty walk to all the places where he liked to hang out. But with nothing really to talk about, I would try to admonish him for being drunk.
"You're not driving, are you? - Joe"
"You're not my mother. - Matt"
"Do you want me to go there and kick you in the behind? - Joe"
"You can try. - Matt"
"What did you say? - Joe"
"OK. OK. I'm getting a taxi. :) - Matt"
Fall came and still no news about when they were going to send me overseas. The weather here was colder. Rain was snow here. My siblings were very excited about the deluge of wintry weather. They have not seen real snow. The images that we'd seen on TV and movies sure looked pretty. My little brother would like me to taste it. He thought that it would be like ice cream. I told him I would taste it and report my findings. My little sister wanted me to take lots of pictures and send them to her. I promised her that I would. I too looked forward to experiencing my first winter with snow, even though I dreaded the thought of driving on icy road. My pickup might not be suitable for the weather. I was already determined to hate it, but I still wanted to experience what it was like.
After another of night of having to cut my drinking session with my officer buddies. I had enough. The next day I was looking for housing outside the base, and found a good one bedroom apartment. Since the housing allowance was decent that it's enough to pay the mortgage of a starter home, it would have been nice if I had enough money for a down payment on a house but that could wait. It was just an apartment but the feeling of accomplishment of finally striking on your own was still undeniable.
"Sup bud. I just moved to my new apartment." I sent Matt a text.
"Cool." Matt replied.
"I spent a fortune buying furniture."
"Welcome to the real world."
"I'm broke. :("
"LOL"
"What you up to?"
"Staying home tonight. Being lazy watching some game on TV. How about you?"
"Still assembling some furniture."
"K."
There were quite a few do-it-yourself furniture that needed assembly. There was my entertainment center or what passed as an entertainment center. Just a small 32 inch TV and attached was my game console that kept me sane for most of the days. My couch's legs were finally fitted in, and the couch was smelling new. I sat on it to find the best position to watch TV. I looked around and found my computer which I already setup on a movable station earlier and turned it on. I caught up with some of my friends Internet postings and my email which was being filled mostly with spams asking me if I wanted male enhancement products, if I wanted a nice deal from a prince overseas needing help with his money, and if I wanted some brand name products at very low prices. After responding to emails and posting my update, I was still left with plenty of time to kill before bedtime. I went back to my couch and turn on the TV. After flipping through several channels, I was not able to find anything good to watch, so I settled for some college football game.
Feeling a little lonely in my new apartment I sent Matt another message, "Sup bud, do you wanna bother me tonight?"
"Couch comfy?" he replied.
"Yeah."
"You wanna hang out? :)"
"Yeah."
Then my phone rung.
"Sup bud," I answered.
"Accept my request." Matt was trying to access my webcam.
"Why? You wanna see me wank."
"I thought you wanna hang out. I'm joining you."
I accepted his request, and I also got his video feed. It was showing his living room. I adjusted my computer to display the same view. My living room looked so bare while his was starting to look like mishmash of stuff. It's not untidy or anything; it's more like uncoordinated. That would become of my room given a year or two, I said to myself. Matt was nowhere in sight. He showed up coming back from the kitchen naked drying his hair with a towel and holding a can of beer.
"There you are." I said.
"Sorry, I was grabbing some beer." he replied.
"You looked like you're having some fun already."
"Not really, I just got out of the shower when you called. I lifted some weight before going home."
"Can you see the couch?" I asked.
"That looks like our old couch."
"That's why I bought it." I said with a chuckle.
"Poor couch, will be covered in stain."
"That's the plan. I'm gonna break it in." I said laughing. "Is that our recliners behind you?"
"Yeah, same ones," he replied.
"Cool. I'll chill on my couch. You can chill on the recliner."
"Does your computer have a mic?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Let's switch to that. Battery is going out."
I put his video in full screen and turned up the computer sound a little, and he did the same thing. I grabbed a few cans of beer from the refrigerator and went back to my couch. I laid down to watch the game and took off my clothes.
"Are you watching the game?" he asked.
"Yeah." I replied.
"Same game?"
"Yeah, Same game."
We spent the night with our webcams on, so we could see what each other was doing. The memories of our college days spent hanging out naked after taking our shower and some nights we played video games with no pants on came back to me and made me smiled. We just chatted and went on with what we do during our slow nights only this time naked punctuated by short chats and cheered to the game as if we were in the same room.
Matt stood up and walked closer to the camera to pick up something.
"Did you lose some more weight?" I asked.
"I did, but not much though," he answered. "I'm trying to lose some more of my padding," he added.
"Padding. He-he"
"Don't start," he warned. He still didn't want to admit that, although he looked tight, he was carrying some fat when he was still playing football. He looked taller, and his muscles were now more visible.
"Sorry, . . . You look beefy."
"Stand up. Let me check yours." he requested.
I flexed my muscles and did some poses.
"Still looking good," he complimented my effort.
"Thanks. I've been working out more. Too much free time."
"I thought it's gonna be like living in a prison there," Matt commented about my free time.
"Not really. We're like regular people. We go to work then home. But I'm stuck with a desk job. It's not the best use if this body."
"Ha-ha."
After the quick body check we went back to watching the game on TV. I remembered Matt's position on the couch when he used to join me during my Friday night jack off session and gave the same position a try. I had to fetch a pillow to prop my head a little then it's time to give myself some well deserved rubbing. The new couch had to be broken in. Matt reclined his chair to show me that he was doing same the thing although he was a little further in the middle of the room.
"Matt, I can't see you."
"Just a sec," he adjusted the focus and zoom in closer to his chair.
The two way video chat alleviated the monotony of playing with myself alone. Hearing each others moans and groans was a welcome addition. Knowing your best bud was enjoying the same thing that you like and sharing it as a common experience was very stimulating. Most of the times it's not really the act of sexual release that made the experience special. It's the fact that you can do it without hiding it. It's the freedom to look, comment, and touch without the awkwardness after the fact. When the game was over, Matt moved to his computer chair and rested both of his legs on his desk giving me a full view of him. We were now both working on our sweet release.
"Good timing, I was horny after my workout," Matt said.
"So what in your mind now?" I asked.
"Can I imagine you giving me a head right now?" he asked.
The image of the night before my graduation came back to me. "You know I still jack off thinking about the night when we exchanged BJs," I said.
"I have wanked several times thinking about the same thing," he said.
"Were they good?"
"Best wanks ever."
"LOL."
"They were," he insisted.
"Hey bud, can you go first." I told Matt.
"I can do that," he said.
Matt was now pumping his manhood with certain level of urgency as he vocalized what he was thinking urging me to keep sucking on his hard fat dick. A long groan was follow by his first rope of cum that run through his left chest down to his navel. Then another. Then several more. He seemed exhausted but satisfied with his performance.
"You like?" he asked.
"How are you able to do that?"
"Eat your veggies."
"Show off."
"That's just a warm up for me." he was bragging now.
"I believe you."
I went back to concentrating on my own hardon.
"Go for it, bud," he said coaxing me to do the same.
Not a minute later, I was the one heaving and grunting to my own orgasm that left drops of my man seed on my couch and my hand.
"Felt good?" he asked.
"Oh yeah," I replied.
"I'll leave the cam on. You're welcome to spy on me," he said.
We cleaned ourselves and proceeded to watch another game on TV. Matt sneaked in another load while he was sitting on the recliner watching the game making sure I knew that he was still imagining that I was going down on him. After showing me his cum covered body for mandatory inspection, we had a few more chats while drinking some beer before we both fell asleep -- him on the recliner and me on my newly cum baptized couch.
Having too much free time with nothing to do was starting to eat me up. Maybe it's just me not finding many thing I do these days as something worth remembering that's probably why it felt like I'm not doing anything at all. My assignment in the base wasn't helping. Keeping track of base supplies wasn't really the most exciting thing to do for a young active guy like me. I mean, it's not that I didn't like being in the service, but the recruitment commercial should I say was a little exaggerated about how exciting it was going to be. I needed more action I kept telling myself. Then the excitement that I was waiting for came in as an adrenaline rushed of both horror and pride when the news arrived that I was deploying overseas as part of the Engineering Battalion for six months to a combat zone. I posted my current situation to everyone, and was flooded with messages of concerns and worries. My mom would not talk about at it all. She just continued on as if I was still in college. My dad who was the one so happy to see me in the active duty was sad and worried. He kept telling me about the pictures of fallen young servicemen and women that were being shown regularly on the television. All I could really tell him was that I would be extra careful and that I would be safe.
After a quick briefing in Germany, I arrived at this arid desert, a place as if it had been forgotten by time. It was hot and dusty in the morning, but cold and still dusty at night. I was given my own quarter that doubled as my office still performing my current job tracking base supplies. My assistant was Sergeant Pokrovsky that acted as my secretary and sometimes my driver. He was probably about five years my senior. He used to be assigned with a captain that I served under. Then later on, the sergeant and I became part of military personnel responsible for setting up forward bases. For the most part, one group would come in first to secure the area then we came in later with the equipment.
During my first few months of being deployed overseas, I received care packages from many people even some of those that I only met once that I had to give some away. Shawn true to his promised sent me some DVDs and magazines. My family and Matt were normally the ones sending me really useful supplies. Daisuke managed to send me Japanese style sleeping bags. One was much better than the military sleeping bag although you ended up looking like a caterpillar inside a cocoon, and another one called human body sleeping bag. It's a weatherproofed full body padded pajama that an Eskimo might wear.
My six months deployment turned to a year then another year. Sgt. Pokrovsky had became my surrogate best buddy in the service who was in even worse situation than me. He was deployed about two years earlier and had only came back once to visit his family. He experienced some of the worst parts of the occupation. During our long drives from location to location, I learned that he was a Russian immigrant. His parents moved to the United States when he was seven years old. Both of his parents were college professors. I often joked that he missed the intelligent bus when he was conceived because he ended up in the service, but he was smart probably smarter than me. He was just one of those people who were too laid back for their own good. However most of our more friendly conversations happened during our office hours when it was slow just looking at our desk and complaining about the hot desert weather.
From then on, only my family were sending me care packages regularly. Matt at least remembered sending me stuff on my birthdays and special occasions. The base still had sporadic Internet connection normally reserved for more important things, so I was cut off from what was happening back home. Most of my time was spent listening to my men and their shenanigans. For some reason long deployment seemed to make some people open up a little more than usual. During one of our trip they were retelling one incident when one soldier paid a hooker who went bar hoping with the group first then the soldier had sex with the girl who was so drunk that she puked during sex. They said he just turned her over and continued on. They designated their sleeping area as their personal jack shack. No one was to make any comment about it even when one was caught spanking his salami. Courtesy was provided to let the person finish. Sgt. Prokrovsky had the weirdest experience when he used to ride in one of the armored cars for days. He said that after being inside the car for two days during one of their missions, one of the occupants decided to beat off in the back of the car. He had to give the guy an empty plastic bottle to catch his knuckle babies so as not to stink up their temporary home. Then they all rotated for their own release. Somewhere in the desert there is a plastic bottle containing seeds from several men being cooked by the hot desert sun. Sometime later some pornographic DVDs were circling around the group courtesy of Sgt. Prokrovsky that he said were from the last shipment. When my DVDs started collecting dust, Sgt. Prokrovsky and I joked around passing them to the unit citing unspecified source.
The deployment had already grown on me. Because I normally joined the unit when we worked on almost anything, I acquired a new nickname. My unit referred to me as LT. So when some people around the base used LT, they were referring to me most of the time. They were professional enough to remember when outsiders were around to avoid getting me into trouble because of the lax atmosphere in my unit. Serving many years with them and the kind of work we did really didn't seem to require that level of sternness.
In between my deployment, I was sent back to Germany waiting for news if I was going home or if I was going to my next assignment. During my debriefing in Germany, I received an email from Matt that he was moving to the West coast.
Hey, I found a new job out West. I'm moving tomorrow. Shawn was here helping me pack. - Matt
West? Why the hell are you moving there? - Joe
I don't know. It might be more exciting living there. Ashley and Slater were going to help me settle in. - Matt
Slater was one of those lucky – or unlucky depending on how you look at it – few who never saw combat first hand.
Is this one of your dramas? Do you want me to punch you in the gut again? I take that back. I think you like the punishment. What kind of job? - Joe
Ouch! No, just wanna go places. My parents were also used to me being away, so they don't worry too much anymore. About the job, don't laugh, I'll be a car salesman. - Matt
Ha-ha. Matt is a car salesman. - Joe
When are you coming back? Everyone is waiting for you. - Matt
Maybe soon. I'll have my debriefing today. Hopefully that's it for me. - Joe
It's been years. Don't worry I've got something special when you get home. Something big and holds a nice load. - Matt
Special for me or special for you? - Joe
What do you think I'm talking about? I'm gonna hook you up with a new cheap pickup truck. You need to ditch your ride. Is automatic cool with you? - Matt
That's great? Thanks Matt – Joe
If you miss shifting stick I can ride with you. :) - Matt
Is that a promise? - Joe
Sure is, so come home and visit me, wanker. - Matt
Then the news came that I was not going home. Another six months they said then I would be home. I was not counting any days; I was resolved to the fact that they could very well change their mind again. For all I knew, I would be here for the next ten years.
There were already semi-permanent structures built for housing and offices when I arrived at the base. The more senior enlisted men got their own barracks while the newly deployed men stayed in a tent. I was also assigned my own quarters that was a separate building from the engineering office. The main base had a more permanent Internet connection by now which made it easier to communicate back home. We setup one building for those servicemen without their own computer. We let them came up with the unwritten rules when using the computers. For many of them, it had been many months the last time they talked face to face with their love ones, so there were quite a few personal things that happened in there. All they have was a privacy panel they installed obscuring one of the computers.
Like before, Sgt. Pokrovsky and I were assigned to setting up and maintaining forward bases. I was no longer in charge of the base supplies and sort of upgraded to supervising equipment setup and installation. The ever growing infrastructure in the base and remote bases required more dedicated managing so to speak. I was promoted to first lieutenant during the second leg of my deployment and had few men that served under my command. Visiting the forward bases was always a harrowing experience. The road that you traveled many times before became even more dangerous as time passed by. It became a prime target for ambush and for laying traps. Many brothers in arms had already fallen from the many small corridors that we needed to pass. It's amazing how we kept ourselves looking tough even when the news of another fallen comrade reached us. It may be a facade for most of us, but it's what kept us going and kept our sanity. The jovial spirit that pervaded the bases may seemed unexpected when at night you were woken up by a loud booming noise then the call to arms sounded. For the weak ones, it could easily break you. I'd seen some when fake bravado was not enough to contain their fear. But for many of us, every bad news was met with stronger resolve to keep fighting. Even my hands which were becoming more used to holding pens and screwdrivers had to pick a gun and fight back several times. After all this nightmarish experience, a single message from our loves was enough to brighten the days and nights that we spent away from them. I had to keep updating my dad with any news. Sometimes just even the mundane things I did that day. He had Uncle Joshua set him up with an email account. My mom told me that he checked it almost every day. He worried easily during some days when I was away for my assignment and had no way of communicating back to them. As I predicted the six months turned to another year.
Five years easily passed by without me noticing. My contact with people that I knew before were becoming scarce as they all moved on with their lives. Matt was the only constant reminder of what was before, but even him had to move on. Sometime around the end of the year, I received a very interesting email from Matt.
"I'm engaged" was the subject of his email.
Sup Bud, Since when? - Joe
Not long after I sent my response, he replied.
Sup Bud, Have you not checking my posts?
I proposed two days ago. She's the real reason why I moved. She was going back to school for her master's degree. Well, I wasn't really sure at first, but I think this is it for me. I'm ready to throw away my freedom and put on a ball and chain. - Matt
Matt was seriously seeing someone that he met in a grocery store one night while picking up some laundry supplies way back. She attended a fine arts school where Matt used to live. One of those small but expensive colleges. It wasn't long ago that Matt spent most of his single life tom-catting for the most part and including those times we hanged out on cam.
I neglected checking on new Internet posts for many months normally just my emails. I didn't know why, but I just lost tracked of it for some reason. It's the small things like this that we do that let us lose touch with people then we wondered later on what happened. I visited my profile and was inundated with pending messages. I tried as much as possible to respond to everyone to give them some update about me then I checked on Matt's profile for his updates. His profile indicated that he was engaged. I browsed through his photos and found several photos of him and his girlfriend. He did good.
What he was saying about being serious with his relationship was probably true because he would have spilled so many juicy details about the girl along the way if it wasn't – like how often they had sex, the girl's oral talent, how he liked the girl to stroke his dick while making out, and the many sexual positions he had her. There's also very likely that he would let me know when they were doing it and made me eavesdropped on them. This time he was silent about those things. It was later in their relationship that he became comfortable about sharing some chosen details when some of our conversation bear into that area.
This time I kept on top of the Internet postings. Matt and his girlfriend were now planning on getting married early next year. Mike already committed to come and play some songs during the wedding. The groom's men were already chosen Shawn, Reed and I. Tim was not sure if he could come.
During a a slow hot day in the base, I was watching flies as they pestered me in the office, my chat program popped up.
"Are you there?" Matt was online.
"Yes," I replied.
"You alone? - Matt"
"Yes, why? - Joe"
"I'm naked. :) - Matt"
We started the video chat, and there he was naked with a stiff dick.
"Don't you have someone to take care of that? - Joe"
"It's her finals. She doesn't want to be bothered. :( - Matt"
"Does she know you are looking at naked pics and watching porn on computer? - Joe"
"Yeah, she knows. She's upstairs. - Matt"
"She doesn't get mad? - Joe"
"I told her, I am going to. She can always grab me if she wanted to. :) - Matt"
"LOL. You know you will get less after you are married. Are you ready for that? – Joe"
"This will do for those times. - Matt" He said showing the palm of his hand.
"Ha-ha – Joe"
"I hope she at least will still play with my dick every time she forces me to watch some girl flick. - Matt"
"She keeps it warm for you. - Joe"
"Yeah, that's the only way I'll sit and watch the movie. He-he – Matt"
"Naughty boy – Joe"
"I cuddle with her . . . then ball her after. - Matt"
"There you go. - Joe"
"Oh yeah, I told her. I'm going to get her pregnant soon after the wedding. So I'm planning to ball her every time opportunity arises. - Matt"
"LOL, you are going to wear her out. - Joe"
"Don't worry, I'll help with the chores. :) - Matt"
"How many kids are you guys planning to have? - Joe"
"We're planning on having two. - Matt"
"You might have octuplets if you keep dumping that much load in her. - Joe"
"I hope not. That will be a nightmare. - Matt"
"Ha-ha - Joe"
"Do you know if you are going to make it to my wedding? - Matt"
"Yeah, I already submitted my leave of absence. - Joe" I told him just to make him feel better.
"Great. How long are you staying? - Matt"
"Not long, probably only four days. I'm hitching a ride with one of cargo planes. - Joe"
"Bummer. - Matt"
"I know. Do you still want me to wear my dress uniform or a tux?"
"Your dress uniform will be better. - Matt"
"How's the planning by the way? - Joe"
"Looks like everything is good to go. Shawn asked if he can be the best man if you can't make it? - Matt"
"Tell him to fuck off. - Joe"
"LOL, OK, I'll tell him to fuck off. - Matt"
"You better. - Joe"
"Just a sec bud, let me get my hardon back. - Matt"
He went back watching something on his computer and gave his cock a few good strokes. Few drops of precum were already covering the head of his glistening cock. More oozed out as he moved his hand up and down the shaft while giving his cock a squeeze on the upward stroke.
"I'm good again :) - Matt"
"What are you watching? - Joe"
"Checking your favorite website. - Matt"
"How long you've been at it? - Joe"
"Not long, about 30 minutes. I just saw you online. - Matt"
"Wanting some company? :) - Joe"
"Maybe. Remember when I used to annoy you back in college? - Matt"
"Yeah, calling me just to tell me you are jacking off. - Joe"
"LOL, sometimes it's true. Sometimes something fun was actually going to happen. - Matt"
"Really? You guys were total horned dogs. - Joe"
"If you get offered, why not. - Matt"
"Does your dick rule your head? - Joe"
"Says the chronic masturbator. - Matt"
"Speaking of that it's been days since I last nutted. I might check out the website later too. - Joe"
"Why later? - Matt"
"I'm still working. :( - Joe"
"Do you still have your own office? - Matt"
"Not anymore. We have office buildings now. I share the office with Sgt. Prokrovsky and two other soldiers from my unit. - Joe"
"Are they in there? - Matt"
"Not at the moment. They're out working on one of the buildings. - Joe"
"I don't want to get you into any trouble. I'll let you off. - Matt"
"It's cool. Just don't be surprise if I suddenly disappear. - Joe"
"Nah, I don't think you should take the chance. I'll just settle with the porn site. - Matt"
"OK bud, have a good one. - Joe"
"I definitely will. Probably two good ones. :) - Matt"
"Send me a report for inspection. :) - Joe"
"Sir! Yes. Sir!. - Matt"
Matt was completely out of the bedlam of not knowing what to do after college. His earlier fears were all in the past.
When I thought of the young servicemen that came and went the base, I couldn't help but wonder how could they go back. I have a degree that I can always fall back too, but many of them skipped college or just recently finished high school. There were some who wanted to really serve, but some were there because they thought that the military was their best option for one reason or another. After spending a good part of your early adult life in a country not your own in an environment that was far from the reality of home, it's not hard to imagine why many of them fell on the way side. Coming back from lengthy deployment and finding your friends had already left you behind, maybe not emotionally but definitely where they were in life, it would be very disorienting when you'd grown accustom to the camaraderie that the service offered. It's like starting again for many of them. You couldn't just expect that you would come home and just continue with the life that you used to have before signing up.
I was here fresh out of college when I arrived in this combat zone. I had a lot of memories in this place, but no matter how important they were, my memories of my college life were still lingering. I felt like I was just cruising and just going with the flow. You might think that exploding bombs and gunfire would have jarred my college days in my head by now and let me concentrate on the what was happening. They did not. I still caught myself dreaming about those carefree days as if they just happened yesterday. I was the one on the verge of getting stuck in the past. But something happened on my last assignment that truly hit me and reminded why I wanted to join the service in the first place.
As the war effort progresses, slowly and surely we were able to drive the enemies farther back. This meant new forward base had to be setup. At first glance, it was another routine assignment for me – go up North, bring some equipment and install them. It would take us about two days to get there. For the most part, the arid desert that gave birth to dusty dry air was our worst enemy. It's when we finally started traversing unpaved road that made the situation grimmer. The team had an inkling feeling that something was about to go down. It could be either an ambush or a bomb planted on the road. We stopped occasionally to check on disturbed patch of the ground before moving on. In a winding road that hugged the side of the mountain, we had to stop once again. The road that cut across the valley looked like a dusty brown snake in which the head was hidden from sight and ready to strike us down any moment. The crew immediately assumed the defensive formation while two of our guys in bomb disposal suit proceeded to inspect the disturbed ground. An alarm was immediately sounded, it was an ambush. Fire were coming up the mountain from many sides then a rocket grenade hit the armored car in front of us. Two bodies were on the ground when the smoke lifted up. I could hear the frantic call for medic. The urgency had every able body armed and ready to defend. We offered a cover fire for the medic while they dragged the bodies to the other side of the armored car for some protection. That's where we stood our ground while waiting on reinforcement.
"What's the situation?" I asked the medic.
"Sir, we lost one, sir," he replied.
I looked down at the other soldier lying next to me who was still alive, but I could tell that it just a matter of time. The medic was having trouble stopping the bleeding. Then I heard the dying soldier said, "I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die."
"You are not going to die soldier. You hear me," I said shouting at him.
"I'm scared," he said.
"Soldier, you're mission is to survive."
His eyes were open but staring blankly. Who could have blame him for being scared? He was here with us knowing full well what might have come. He had all the right to be scared. This brief moment was like hell on Earth. I was also terrified going into the teeth of the monster.
We were pinned not knowing where our enemies at. It seemed like eternity when the sound of the helicopters and their blazing guns finally was able to disperse the enemies on the mountain sides. The enemies were retreating and the choppers chased them away. They couldn't really afford a prolong engagement that was partly what saved us that day.
When the gunfire subsided. It was time to check the damaged. It was too late for the soldier. He passed away with his eyes wide open as if he was still trying to obey my command to survive. The bodies of the two fallen soldiers were lifted up to the choppers. For us who were still alive, we still had a mission to complete. With one of the choppers escorting us along the way, we made it to the base. We walked out of the armored cars in a trance. I worked on auto-pilot never talking just kept working, keeping myself busy trying to erase the images of what had happened. There was no time to grieve.
When the installation was completed, Sergeant Pokrovsky and I were airlifted back to the main base. The team who escorted me were to remain in the base. It was too dangerous to return. My last experience left a tremendous mark and, at the same, let myself escape for a moment to a life that I was hoping to find in the end. The following night I wrote my father an email;
Dad,
Two of my men died yesterday. They died right beside me. I'm lost for words. Why are we here exactly? What are we fighting for? What those two soldiers died for? But all I can say is that whatever is the cause, promise me that you will not forget us. When you see their names flashed on the television, remember that they were not just another number added to the body count. They were brave men fighting for something they believe in was right. They served honorably without question.
But still they were too young to die.
When they finally send me back home, I going to choose the base close by, so we can be one happy family again. I wish that when they send me overseas again that it will be somewhere exotic maybe somewhere in East Asia. I want to visit those places, but I will always return back to you guys and maybe settle down along the way. Hopefully, this will stop Mom from worrying too much. She never really asks any questions even to this day. I know that she is worried sick that she doesn't want to think about where am at.
I made it through. I hope the next time I talk to you guys, it will be in person.
Love, Joe
P.S. I am going to attend Matt's wedding early next year but that's the only thing I will be able to do. I need to report back as soon as I can.
As the war continued on, attacks like the one in the mountains had trickle down to few skirmishes. The enemy no longer try to stand their ground. Once they noticed that we were ready to defend or fight back, they immediately signal a retreat. The enemy had resorted to a more cowardly form of engagement, IEDs and hit and run. That's the only way they could fight. Their war resources were dwindling down but that didn't mean that it was safer for us. Although death no longer came in multiples, that familiar eerie wooden crate still made its presence known.
Another Christmas passed on this dusty desert. We tried to keep some semblance of festivities. Canned food became our feast. Some wine and beer procured locally accompanied our makeshift holiday meal. The holidays kept me busy making sure the computer room was up and running for the soldiers to use to communicate with love ones. Seeing me crawling on the floor and sweating in my regular green t-shirt and camouflage pants trying to figure out what was wrong with any of the computers, sometimes some of the enlisted men would forget that I outranked them and would talk to me plainly urging me to fix whatever was wrong with the computer they were using. During a few times that I was frustrated with what I was doing, I had corrected several of them which sent some of them to state of panic and readily became apologetic. But for the most part, I overlooked the transgression.
The new year came then Matt's wedding. I was allowed to go back to the city and stayed in one of the hotels that was converted as housing for visiting high ranking officers while waiting for the cargo plane to arrive. The hotel offered some brief respite from the scorching days and cold nights. It felt so good lying on a mattress. The night before I fly out, I took another look at my email to make sure I didn't miss anything.
Buddy,
Just making sure you're going to make it. I'll be picking you up at the airport. Email me your arrival time if you can. If you caught this email late, don't worry I'll be at the airport regardless. Will be waiting whenever you arrive.
Reed and Shawn are arriving two days earlier. Ashley is already here helping with the preparations. Daisuke is even planning to come. I just received his email. - Matt
Many years had passed when I started my supposedly six month deployment. This would be the first time we're going to see each other since I said farewell to him in the dorm. I replied assuring him that his best friend was coming.
Why do you even ask if I will be there? Of course, I will be there. I promised, didn't I? Cargo plane is leaving at 0900 in the AM. I will send you the flight number when I touch down but will probably arrive late afternoon.
P.S. What are we doing for your bachelor party? - Joe
I took a shower and was getting ready for bed when I received a message on my phone.
"Shawn and Reed are hiring a stripper. Which one to do you like better? - Matt"
He sent me snapshots of two good looking ladies.
I replied, "if we can't have them both, the second one. - Joe"
"OK. - Matt"
"Someone's gonna be in big trouble. - Joe"
"Since you're coming, future wife said stripper is fine but I can't touch. - Matt"
"Oh, no special encore? - Joe"
"Probably not. Her younger brother is coming with us. :( - Matt"
"LOL, he's on guard duty. :( - Joe"
"You can still work your magic on her. :) - Matt"
"How much are we talking about? - Joe"
"I don't know. Maybe you can try being a sympathy whore. - Matt"
"Well, you will have to teach me. You're the expert. - Joe"
":D – Matt"
"Cya buddy. I need to get some sleep. - Joe"
"Bye- Matt"
I lay on the bed, but I couldn't sleep. My heart was racing. The excitement of finally seeing my best friend and my good buddies after so many years was unbearably good. I could hear my heart pounding. Even for just a brief moment we would have the chance to relive our college days.
The morning came. I was still dazed for luck of sleep. Sergeant Pokrovsky was knocking on my door for my wake up call. I opened the door and told him to give me fifteen minutes to get ready. After a quick shower and changing to civilian clothes, I was ready to leave the place. My phone vibrated just when I shut the door of my room.
"Just checking – Matt"
"We are on the way to the airfield. - Joe"
"Cool. You're gonna be here by afternoon, right? - Matt"
"Yes, I promise. - Joe"
We exchanged few more messages. He was just as excited as me, I guess.
"Jeez, like a baby," I muttered which the sergeant heard.
"My buddy . . . He is getting married. I had to keep assuring him that I'm coming," I said. Sgt. Pokrovsky was trying to stop his chuckle.
The elevator ride felt like it was taking too long.
"Is this place stuck in time? Can't they find newer song?" A dismissing remark from Sgt. Pokrovsky about the song playing in the elevator.
"You got that right," I replied trying to listen to the music that I hadn't heard before but the first few verses went something like this;
"A time for us, someday there'll be When chains are torn by courage born of a love that's free A time when dreams, so long denied Can flourish as we unveil the love we now must hide . . ."
"Sir, do you know the song?"
"Haven't heard of it," I replied. "Sounds so cheesy," I added.
Outside the hotel was an armored car waiting for us to take me to the airfield. Two privates acted as my bodyguards for the short trip and the sergeant would be piloting the car. I could see the makeshift airfield from where we at, but that didn't really mean anything. The country where we were deployed traveling ten yards was just as dangerous as traveling for miles and miles, so extra precaution was needed.
The cargo plane was looking bigger and bigger as we approached the airfield. My body was still in this forsaken place, but my mind was now back home with my friends.
"Matt, you lucky bastard. I can't believe you found someone that will put up with you."
"Shawn, you bastard why do you think you can take my spot as the best man? If you help me with the stripper, I'm going to forgive you, he-he-he."
"I wonder what Daisuke is doing back in Japan."
"And Matt, thanks for the jacket. It was a great help here. I tell you what, I look damn good in my dress uniform. I'll be wearing it like you requested."
Suddenly, I heard a loud noise. It was so loud that it shook the armored car. There were some commotion outside. I could hear them shouting "IED! IED!"
"What do you think now, Matt?"
"You think going out West was a brave thing to do. Wait 'til you experience this."
"When I get there, I'll tell you about this then you'll be scared."
"Funny Matt. You want two kids. How are you supposed to raise them? You're a big baby, don't you know that?"
"Come to think of it, I heard you saying that football was the only thing that you know how to do. But look at you now, ready to start a family. I'm so proud of you."
"It's funny that you were the one afraid of not being able to move on. You're probably laughing at me now, reminiscing."
"But I don't mind. My commanding officer promised me that I will be able to choose my permanent post. I was going to choose the base close to the city where you used to live. Remember, you made me promise."
"Why did you move, idiot? Now you messed up our plan."
"But that's for the better, I guess, that way I have no choice but to move on too."
"This deployment was so hard. . . . By the way, thank your future wife for the care packages. I was planning to send a thank you note, but I kept forgetting."
"Getting married. Go! Matt go!"
"I just remember. Tell me that you threw away the blue shirt? It's creepy if you still have it."
"Also don't drink too much if wanna be a good dad."
"And love your wife."
"Sorry for my rumblings."
"Tell Shawn, I would really like to kick his ass for trying to take my spot."
"He is so lucky that I can't feel my legs anymore."
. . .
"Damn, I've been talking this much. Let me catch my breath."
. . .
"Can you hear those gunfire, Matt?"
"Those are my boys. They will surely give those bastards some hell."
. . .
"Let me catch my breath again."
. . .
"Matt, my eyes are getting tired."
. . .
"Please tell my folks I love them."
. . .
"Matt, don't be mad at me."
"I lied."
"I'm so sorry, buddy."
"I won't be making it."
~ FIN ~