Bleeding Hearts

By moc.loa@2241hsyR

Published on Sep 18, 1999

Gay

Chapter 2

I stopped in my tracks, right in the middle of the hallway. Seth kept walking for a few feet then stopped.

"I think I can find it from here dude, thanks," he said and walked off into the crowd.

I'm not sure how long I stood there, maybe just a few seconds, maybe minutes. I was lost in thought and I didn't care. The stream of people flowed around me and I didn't notice any of them.

Suddenly someone grabbed me around the neck and got me in a headlock.

"What are you doing, Space Boy?" they yelled, "Waiting for your people to come back and get you?" It was Asher.

"Get off me, Asher," I said sharply.

"Whoa dude," he said letting go, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just gotta get home."

"Well if you're in such a rush why were you just standing there?"

"It's nothing. I've got to go."

I started off quickly down the hall and Asher rushed to keep up with me. "Dude, Kill, man, what is up?" he asked again. When I didn't answer he said, "The gangs getting together tonight to hang out, maybe catch a movie. You wanna go?"

"No thanks," I said. By now we were at the door to the student parking lot. My dad had given me a car for my 16th birthday, one of the new Volkswagen Bugs. Maybe he thought it would make me popular. If so, he was destined to be disappointed again. I headed for my car with Asher still on my heals. Just then, Zachary intercepted us.

"Hey Zack," Asher called out.

"Hey Asher. Hey Killian," Zack said as I started to unlock my car. "Didn't I see you with that new kid right after the bell?"

I looked up, dropping my keys in the process. As I bent down to pick them up I answered, "Yeah, his name's Seth."

"I know," Zack said, "He's in my second period class. We all had to share 5 things about ourselves. You know what his were?"

I had the door open by now, but I didn't get in. I felt frozen where I stood.

"What?" Asher asked.

"#1 he just moved here from Baltimore. #2 he swam on a team at the school he came from #3 he likes acting. #4 he lives with just his dad #5," Zack paused dramatically, "#5...he's a faggot."

"WHAT?" Asher yelled.

"Yeah, man. A real live fairy," Zack laughed.

"Who's a fairy?" Jesse asked as he walked up to us. "Killian?"

Everybody laughed, except me, then Zack said, "No, at least I don't think so. You're being awful quiet there, man."

I shrugged and started getting in my car. "

"So who's a fairy?" Jesse asked again.

"That new kid, Seth," Zack told him.

"No way! How do you know? Did he hit on you?"

"No! He better not, unless he wants to end up a dead fairy," Zack said and they all laughed again.

"He seemed nice to me," I said before I had time to think.

As one they all turned to stare at me.

"Man," Asher said, "Don't tell us you're a fag too, Killian."

"I didn't say I was gay," I said quietly but firmly, "I just said that I thought he seemed nice. Why does that make me gay?"

"Because he is, Kill," Zack said, "You don't hang out with fags unless you are a fag."

"Bullshit," I said angrily. "Hanging out with you guys doesn't make me an idiot." I slammed the door, started the car and drove off, leaving them staring after me with their mouths gaping. I have no clue where that came from. I have never ever reacted like that. I thought about it all the way home. Thoughts were flying through my mind like bullets and they seemed just as hard to grasp. When I came to my house at the last minute I decided to keep driving. I wasn't ready to face any one at home. I was still tense and confused from the strange scene in the parking lot. I decided to drive to the beach. We were having unseasonably cool weather for September in Maryland so I didn't expect for there to be many people there and I was right. I parked the car, fed the meter and started out on the beach. I had been walking for about 15 or so minutes when I was surprised to hear someone call my name. I turned and caught my breath. It was Seth and he was jogging towards me. He had changed out of the jeans and polo shirt he'd worn to school and now he was wearing adidas jogging pants and t-shirt. "Hi Killian," he said when he got to me, only slightly out of breath. "Hi," I said looking at my feet. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "I just needed to get out so I decided to take a walk. The beach always calms me." I told him. "I live here," he told me as if I'd asked, "I like to jog on the beach. Like you said, it calms me, too." When I didn't say anything he continued, "Look, if you don't want to talk to me, I'll understand. I mean I know I probably freaked you out when I said I was gay, but I hate lying. It's better to get things out in the open right away. That's why I told you." Still I didn't say anything and he seemed to have a real need to fill in the silence so he continued on. "I mean I'm used to everybody hating me. My own family hates me so why shouldn't you..." "I don't hate you," I interrupted. He stood looking at me with surprise for a few seconds. "You don't?" "No," I said, "I don't even know you, why would I hate you?" "Because I'm gay."

"That's not a reason to hate somebody."

"Everyone else seems to think so."

"I've never been one to go with the crowd," I said a little bitterly.

"I sensed that about you. That's why I sat next to you." We stood there for a minute not talking, then he said, "Want to go grab a bite to eat and we can talk?"

I thought for a few seconds then shrugged, "Sure, why not?" I said.

We headed up to the boardwalk and found a pizza joint, placed our order and sat down at a table to wait for our number to be called.

We talked until the pizza was ready, telling each other general information about ourselves. The kind of stuff you tell people when you're just getting to know them. When we had finished eating I asked the question that had been plaguing me from the beginning. "So how long have you known you were gay and how did you know?"

He paused for a moment, looking me in the eyes for so long that I had to look away. "I guess I knew for a long time before I admitted it to myself. But I've known for sure for about a year," he began, "I lived with my mom since my parents split when I was eight. I never really knew what happened until I was 15. I just knew I hardly ever saw my dad. But when I was 15, I realized I was gay and decided to come out to my mom. She hit the roof. Then she hit me. I hit the floor. Long story short; my dad was gay and that's why they split up. So she kicked me out and I moved in with my dad."

I sat staring at him with my chin I'm sure somewhere around my ankles.

"So anyway," he went on, "How did I know? Hmmmm. I just knew. I can't explain it really. I mean beyond the obvious, my attraction to guys over girls. I can tell with other people too you know. Its called gay-dar." A big grin started spreading across his face.

"Oh really?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little nervous. I wasn't sure why. I mean I wasn't gay, so what did I have to worry about? Sure I'd never dated girls, never even been interested in them if I was honest with myself, but I'd never been interested in guys either. Had I? Doesn't everybody take peeks in the locker room? And all I felt towards Asher, Jesse and Zack was friendship. Right? Thoughts of wrestling with Asher flashed through my mind. Enjoying the closeness of his body, trying to hide a hard-on. I shook my head to clear the images and hoped I wasn't blushing.

He was still smiling.

"Why are you smiling?" I said testily.

Seth laughed. "I dunno. Its better than crying."

I glanced down at my watch and gasped. "Whoa, I'm late. I gotta go or I'm gonna be dog meat." I pulled out my wallet and threw some money on the table, enough to cover my part of the bill. "Bye, dude. See ya in school tomorrow."

"Okay," he called after me, "See ya, Killer!"

I stopped in the doorway and smiled back at him. Killer...I liked it!

Next: Chapter 3


Rate this story

Liked this story?

Nifty is entirely volunteer-run and relies on people like you to keep the site running. Please support the Nifty Archive and keep this content available to all!

Donate to The Nifty Archive
Nifty

© 1992, 2024 Nifty Archive. All rights reserved

The Archive

About NiftyLinks❤️Donate