Chapter 16
I was waiting nervously in the living room, waiting for Mom to get here. She wouldn't say why she wanted to talk; all she would say was that she felt she needed to talk to me in person. So here I was, pacing back and forth like one of those bears I always see at the zoo. I was too tense to sit still.
Finally I heard a car pull up outside. I was at the door before she was even out of the car. Right away, I could tell something was wrong. Her clothes were rumbled and wrinkled as if she'd slept in them. As she straightened up the wind caught her hair and blew it back from her face. Suddenly, I felt my knees buckle under me and I had to grab the doorjamb to keep from falling. One whole side of her face was an angry purple bruise. Her left eye was almost swollen shut and her lip was split and swollen as well. As she came towards me I noticed that she was walking with a slight limp.
I tried to swallow around the lump that had formed in my throat; I tried to say something but I couldn't find my voice. All I could do was run to meet her and throw my arms around her in a giant bear hug.
"OH!" she gasped as I came in contact with her, "Be careful, honey, I have a few cracked ribs."
I backed up quickly and looked at her again. It looked even worse up close.
"He did this to you didn't he," I finally managed to whisper hoarsely.
She looked at me for a minute, then linked her arm through mine and started walking toward the door, "Come on, let's go on inside."
Once we were settled in the living room, both of us on the couch - me with my head on her shoulder, she sighed a long heavy sigh and began to stroke my hair.
"I'm going to live with my sister, Aunt Kathy, in Pennsylvania," she said after awhile. "I want you to go with me."
I sat up and turned so I could look into her eyes. "What?"
"I can't stay here, Killian. That became very clear last night. I'm going to move in with Kathy and go back to school. It the only way I am going to be able to survive. I want you to go with me, it's a nice town, good schools."
"What happened last night?"
"That doesn't matter now. What matters is that it's over and I'm not going back. I have everything that is mine packed in the car. I'm leaving tonight."
"But...but..."
"But what, Killian?"
"I don't want to go," I said awkwardly.
"You...don't want to go?" I could tell she was hurt.
"I don't want to leave. I like living with Adam. I don't want to move away right now. I..." I almost said that I couldn't leave until I found out who had killed Seth, but I stopped myself just in time. I don't think Mom would have understood.
"I don't understand," Mom said, shaking her head.
"I just can't...drop everything and go. I'm happy now. Maybe you can move in with me and Adam."
"No. I want to leave, Killian. I need to leave. I have to get away from him. Do you see what he did to me?" She pointed to her face.
"Did you call the police?"
She snorted angrily, stood up and began to pace just as I had been earlier. Her motions were disjointed and jerky. "He has the whole police department in his back pocket. It's good-ole boys' politics in this town and that means you don't mess with one of their own. Believe me, your father has made sure he's on the inside, way inside. Everyone in this county owes him a favor, most more than one, and he's not afraid to call them in."
"I still don't want to go, isn't there some way you can stay?"
"Sure, I can stay here and wind up dead. Is that what you want, Killian? It's just as dangerous for you to stay. You may feel safe here with Adam, but what if he decides you're getting in the way or becoming too embarrassing for him, hurting his precious campaign? He'll be able to get to you. Don't think for a second you're out of reach."
I stared at her, my mouth open and my eyes wide. She stared back, her eyes flashing with anger and, I realized, fear. Then suddenly her eyes changed. The fear remained, but all the anger drained out, just like someone had pulled a plug. It was replaced with weariness. For a moment I thought she was going to collapse as she swayed in the center of the room. I moved to jump up to catch her if the need arose, but before I could get up she backed up a few steps and dropped into a nearby chair, wincing as her ribs were jarred.
"I'm sorry, Killian," she said softly, "I didn't mean to scare you. You're right. There's no sense in dragging you out of school and away from your friends. You're as safe here with Adam as you'd be anywhere. If it's ok with Adam you can stay here till school is out, then come up with Kathy and me." She rubbed at her good eye, and sagged back farther into the chair.
"It's fine with me," Adam said from the doorway, making us both jump. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Or eavesdrop for that matter, but I came in and I guess you didn't hear me. I couldn't help hearing you."
Mom looked at him silently, then turned and looked at me. I nodded. She sighed again then stood up and stood in the middle of the floor.
"Then it's settled. Killian, you'll stay with Adam. We'll take care of whatever legal matters need to be attended to."
"Mom..." I started.
"Killian, it's ok. Really. Now that I think about it, it makes a lot more sense this way. I'll be so busy with school and a job that I wouldn't have much time to even spend with you. You'd be in a new place with no friends. Adam's proven he's responsible and he's been good to you, better than your own father."
"Meg, I said it was ok with me and it is; I've grown to think of Killian as just like one of my sons. But I want to make sure that you are sure about this." Adam said.
"I don't have time to be sure," she said, "I have to go, I'm driving to my sister's tonight and I'm emotionally and physically drained. I want to leave now before I get any more tired."
She turned towards me and held out her arms, I took the few steps between and wrapped my arms around her, more gently this time so as not to hurt her ribs. She felt so frail in my arms, and suddenly I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks. We stood quietly like that for a few minutes, before she pulled gently away.
I looked into her tear-streaked face and realized how much I loved her and how much I would miss her, but I knew I had made the right decision for now. There was a peace inside of me and I could see it reflected in her eyes.
"I love you, Mom," I whispered.
"I love you, too," she told me. "It's not forever you know. I have to come back in a month for a doctor's appointment, so I'll just stay here for Thanksgiving. I can't be away from my baby on Thanksgiving." Then she turned back to Adam, "Take care of my boy, Mr. Connelly. If anything happens to him, you'll see what I'm capable of." She said that last part with a smile but I got the feeling that she was deadly serious.
"I will," Adam promised solemnly. "I'll take care of him as if he were my own. And we'll expect you to stay here and have Thanksgiving dinner with us."
Mom nodded and looked at me one more time before she started to leave. I walked her out to the car. Adam followed, but only as far as the front door, where he stood watching us. She opened the door to climb in and then paused. She gave me a shaky smile, "Are you sure you won't go?"
"I can't..."
She reached out a hand and rested it on my cheek for just the briefest second, then turned to get into the car.
"Mom..."
She stopped and turned back to me again and I leaned in for one last hug. I kissed her on the cheek before stepping back. She reached up to the spot where I had kissed her and I saw a tear slip out of the corner of here eye before she ducked into the car. She started the engine, backed out onto the street and sat there, staring at me for a moment, then waved one last time before driving off.
I stood there watching until she made the turn at the end of the street and drove out of sight, and even then I stood there staring at nothing. I felt Adam's arm settle around my shoulders as he pulled me back towards the house. Once inside, I turned into his chest and began to cry. He allowed me to cry it out without saying a word. When I was done, we walked into the living room and sat down.
"It's not forever, Killian. She'll be back in a few weeks," he said softly.
"I know; it won't even be that much different from the way it's been the last few weeks. Its just weird to know your whole family is out of reach in one way or another. You're the only family I have now."
"Like I told your mother, I consider you one of my sons."
"Well, then I guess I have a brother now, too...Kane."
"Speaking of Kane, I spoke to Ilana today. She said that things are going well, that Eve's lawyer has been very cooperative so far, although they have in no way even suggested that I even get visitation rights, let alone custody."
"When will you know more?" I asked.
"I don't know; these things are complicated. Without Eve's cooperation this could be a long, drawn out process. With Seth it was easy; she didn't want him. He was too much like me, in all the wrong ways."
My eyes widened and I had trouble controlling the smile that was fighting to spread across my face. If I were a cartoon character a light bulb would have just appeared above my head. There's nothing like a good project to distract you from feeling bad; and it looked like I had just found a new project.
Adam could tell something was up, "What?" he asked me suspiciously.
"Nothing, I just remembered I have homework." I lied.
"I've never seen you get excited about homework before," he commented dryly.
"First time for everything," I said cheerily, as I jumped up and started out of the room.
"You'd better not be up to something, Killian," Adam called after me.
"Who me?" I called back as I grabbed my backpack and he bounded down the hall to my room.
Once in my room I shut the door and booted up the computer. After I was online I shot off a quick email to Kane outlining my idea. That done, I turned to my homework, since I really did have quite a bit.
Later that night after the dinner dishes were done and all my homework was finished, I was in my room reading when Jake called.
"Hey, Killian," he said when I'd answered, "I've decided to tell you about the other person that I saw talking to Seth. I haven't talked to them yet, but I will before tomorrow afternoon, so how about if you come over to my house tomorrow around 3 if you don't already have plans, I mean I know it's a Saturday and all..."
"I'll can be there at three," I told him.
"Great, I'll see you then," he said quickly and hung up.
Now my mind was going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out who Jake was protecting. It had to be someone he liked or he wouldn't care. I didn't really know Jake all that well but I knew who he hung out with in general - Zack's crowd, the soccer jocks, even though Jake didn't play soccer. Could the person in question be part of that group? He didn't mind telling me about his own cousins, Asher and Marcus.
The more I thought about all this the more muddled it all became. In movies and books they always make lists when they are trying to figure stuff out, so I decided to give it a try. I pulled a notebook out of my backpack and made a heading at the top of the page: People Who Talked To Seth. Under that I listed Asher, Zack, Jesse, Becky, Marcus. That was all I had so far. I looked at the list and sighed. It wasn't very much. I added a check next to Marcus' name since I'd talked to him, for all the good that did me.
I stared at the page for a few more minutes, even turning it around a few times, but for the life of me I couldn't see anything else useful. It sure didn't make the killer pop off the page the way they always did in the movies. In frustration I threw the notebook across the room and turned the computer back on.
I was barely online before Kane sent me an instant message.
"I LOVE YOUR IDEA!" he typed. "do you really think it'll work?"
"i don't know but it's worth a try," I answered.
"i don't know why I didn't think of it"
"i got the idea today while i was talked to your dad"
"i've got to find the right time to do it. Does my dad know about this new plan?"
"no, i didn't tell him, i was afraid he'd think it was too risky"
"he'd probably be right, but it doesn't matter, i'm doing it anyway...if it works it'll be worth it"
"but what if it doesn't work?"
"don't think like that, it WILL work! Do you have any ideas about who killed my brother yet?"
I told him about what Jake had told me and about the frustrating list. Then he said, "well, at least you have some people to talk to now...who knows what you might find out when you talk to them"
"i guess"
"hey, i hafta go...mom just got home and if she catches me on here, she'll kill me"
"ok, bye"
"bye, Killian, thanks again...i can't thank you enough...i love you"
By the time I got over my surprise and typed and sent 'i love you too' back to him he was already gone. I felt a little better about the list after talking to Kane, but now I was worried about my plan. What if it backfires? And to add the confusion, Kane had said I love you to me. What did he mean by that, just brotherly love? Or was it more? I was too tired to think about it now. I swept everything off my bad, got undressed and crawled under the covers. I'd think more about it tomorrow.
I was watching a group of people from a slight distance away. I could see them clearly, but none of them seemed to notice me, almost as if there were one-way glass between us. I looked closely and realized that I knew almost everyone in the group. There was Zack and Jesse, Asher, Marcus, Jake, Kane, Becky Rosinski, and someone else who I couldn't quite make out. Seth stood off to one side, not included in their little huddle. They were talking casually among themselves when suddenly the shadows around them began to undulate and swirl as if they were coming to life. Several wisps of darkness separated themselves and formed into a familiar person, the faceless man.
No one else seemed to notice him as he drew closer to the group. I wanted to scream and warn them, but I couldn't seem to make any sound. He paused a few feet away from Seth and turned his head in my direction. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was looking right at me. I felt as if he was smiling at my inability to cry out to him.
Without warning he reached out and grabbed Seth. There was a knife in his other hand and with one smooth, effortless motion Seth crumpled to the ground dead. I tried to scream out again, but once again, nothing came out. The faceless man, looked at me again and I could hear his cold laughter ringing in my ears. Why couldn't anyone else hear it? No one even noticed that Seth was dead. He moved forward again, closer to the other. I tried to throw myself forward to stop him but I couldn't move. I was helpless to do anything but watch in horror as he leaped into the circle and raised his knife to kill once again.
"Killian!" someone screamed my name, but I didn't answer. I had to stop the faceless man. "KILLIAN!" they screamed again, louder this time. I turned to see who it was.
I found myself looking up at Adam leaning over my bed, one hand on my shoulder. I was still shaking from the dream; residual images still skated around the edges of my consciousness.
"Are you ok? Were you having another nightmare?" he asked.
"It was awful," I told him groggily.
"It sounded like it," he said with a concerned look on his face. "I talked to a counselor, but I had to get back to him with your medical and insurance stuff and I'm afraid I forgot it with all the legal stuff with Kane. I'll call him again tomorrow."
I nodded; I was only half listening since my mind was still on the dream.
"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" he asked me.
I nodded again and he bent down and kissed me lightly on the forehead. Even with the nightmare fresh in my mind, I was asleep again in minutes. If I had any more dreams the rest of the night, I don't remember them.
The next morning was busy; after I got up, showered, ate and watched a few Saturday morning cartoons, I cleaned my room. While I was cleaning I came across the notebook I had thrown the night before. I sat down on my bed and looked at the list again. Maybe if I tried to talk to everyone on the list I would find out something more. I'd already talked to Marcus and all I'd gotten from him was that crack about Asher, which I'd almost convinced myself was just Marcus being a jerk. At any rate, I wasn't quite ready to talk to Asher so I moved to the next names on the list, Zack and Jesse. Let me think about that one; did I want to call Zack and Jesse and ask about Seth? Um...no! I'd have to find someone else to ask them about that, maybe Gilly. Next on the list was Becky. I didn't know her number but I thought Gilly might, so I called her.
Gilly answered the phone and gave me Becky's number after I explained to her why I needed it. She also agreed to try and talk to Zack and Jesse without raising too much suspicion.
After we chatted for a few more minutes I hung up from her and called Becky. She couldn't figure out who I was at first, but once I mentioned Gilly she was able to place me. What an ego boost. I was now relegated to accessory status, just what I'd always wanted. Oh well, if it meant I had an in with the people I needed to talk to, I could stand it.
"I have a kind of weird question," I told her.
"Ok," she said uncertainly. Actually she said, "OooooKay." If you've ever watched the cartoon Daria and you remember the character Sandy, that's who Becky always reminds me of, just not as exaggerated.
"Did you ever talk to Seth?"
"Seth was like, that guy who was gay, right?"
"Yeah," I said and held my breath.
"Yeah, I used to talk to him all the time; he was in my art class. He was really cool. That was really sad what happened to him."
"Did you ever talk to him outside of class?"
"Maybe, but probably just about art stuff. He was helping with a project. I got an A on it. It was really awesome. It was this painting of..."
"That's great, Becky," I interrupted, and then tried to steer her back to the conversation at hand. Becky was always a little hard to keep on track. "Did you ever see him talking to anyone else?"
She thought for a minute, or at least I assumed she was thinking. She got quiet, but maybe she was just filing her nails or whatever. Finally she came back with, "You know, I did see him talking to some guy a couple times, but I can't remember his name."
I immediately thought of Asher. "What did he look like?" I asked her.
I heard someone talking to her in the background and then her voice answering them, kind of muffled, as if she had her hand over the receiver.
"I don't know, I have to go," she finally said to me.
"Wait, what did the guy look like? You have to have some idea."
"Why is it so important? Were you hot for him or something? Geez! He's like a surfer dude or something, maybe a skater. Who gives a damn? I have to go, my boyfriend is waiting." And with that, she hung up.
Everything I tried seemed to turn out to be a dead-end.
I glanced at my watch. It was only a little after 2 and I wasn't supposed to be at Jake's until 3, but I decided to go a little early. I was tired of sitting around my house moping; and besides, maybe this person Jake was going to tell me about would be the big break I needed. I giggled to myself as I got into the car. Big break...I sounded like a cheesy detective novel.
By the time I arrived at the Sheridan's house, it was 2:30 so I was only half an hour early. Not too bad I guess. I knocked on the door and Todd answered.
"Are you here for Gilly or Jake?" he asked, then before I could answer, "Cuz Gilly's gone shopping and Jake went surfing, although he might be back by now. He took the boat out. You can check out back by the creek." He walked away leaving the door open.
I shrugged and pulled the door to, and then walked around to the back of the house. Gilly had shown me the old boat house and dock the night I'd had dinner here so I knew generally where it was. You had to walk through a small copse of trees to get there so it was somewhat shielded from the house and you couldn't really see the boathouse until you cleared the trees.
Just as I was about to step out of the trees I saw Jake coming out of the boathouse and for some reason I stopped; he hadn't seen me yet. His hair was wet and tousled and he was wearing a full wet suit.
He paused outside the boathouse and rummaged through a backpack that I hadn't noticed before since I'd been so busy watching Jake. He pulled out a big towel and hung it over the door handle. He then proceeded to unzip his wet suit down to his waist and peel it down off of him. I caught my breath at the sight of him naked to his waist. I felt a stirring down below as I watched him grab the towel and dry off his upper torso. He wasn't overly buff but he was well defined as most surfers are. And tan all over, at least what I could see. He reached back into the bag and pulled out a t-shirt, which he slipped over his head.
Then he unzipped the wet suit the rest of the way and pulled it down and off. I almost passed out. I had a completely unobstructed view of Jake's perfect butt. I took an involuntary step backwards and bumped into something warm and solid. I let out a yelp and spun around. It was Todd and he was watching me with narrowed eyes.
"Like what you see?" he said in a low, dangerous sounding voice.
"Todd," I gasped. I would have gasped even if he hadn't just scared two years off of my life. I was still having trouble breathing from seeing Jake naked.
"Killian? Is that you?" I heard Jake call, still down by the boathouse.
"Yeah," I called back without taking my eyes off Todd.
"Come on down, I'm just getting everything put away, I went surfing this afternoon. The waves were awesome but it was a little chilly."
"Be right there," I yelled.
"Go," Todd said, still in a low voice, "But talk to me before you leave. And if you hurt my brother...or my sister...I'll come after you."
I turned and walked down to the boathouse without looking back, my heart racing.
Jake was now fully clothed and was bent over locking the boathouse door. "Hey, Killer," he said as I approached.
I froze in my tracks, "What did you say?" My voice came out sharper than I'd meant for it to, so much for the subtle approach.
He looked up at me with a confused expression. "I just said hey."
"No, what did you call me?"
"Killer? I'm sorry, you don't like that?" He straightened up and left the lock hanging in the hasp, unlocked.
"No, its ok. It just surprised me. Seth called me that. No one else ever has."
"Really? You'd think it would be a natural nickname for Killian. Especially with that killer smile of yours." He added that last part with that incredible grin of his that got me every time.
I laughed, the tension of the moment forgotten. He turned around and bent to pick up his backpack and I couldn't help but think about his bare butt again and once again the appropriate body part responded. I must have had a funny look on my face when he turned around because he gave me an odd look then said, "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I managed to say.
"You don't look it," he glanced meaningfully at my crotch and then gave me a lopsided smile. "So how long were you in the trees?"