Black Sheep

Black Sheep 20

Greensnake8

"You should join us."

The nerve of English. I look at him and for some reason I feel betrayed. Sure we weren't together. Sure I hadn't really expressed interest in him except for today. That wasn't the point. The point was that English knew damn well I just didn't fuck with my brother and for some reason he was out on a fucking date with him.

"I'm sure my brother has other things to do," Joshua starts off.

"Nah, actually I can hang out for a while," I respond.

I'm being petty. I'm being damn petty. I'm petty when I sit my ass on the crowded booth with the two of them. I'm petty when I nod when the waiter comes over and asks me if I want a beer. I'll admit it. I'm petty during all of those times and I give no fucks about it.

"So how long has this been going on?" I ask.

My brother smiles. That cold smile that says he is so emotionally disconnected that he doesn't even realize or care that I was interested in English. What's worse is that English is sitting here looking good as fuck. I mean the guy has on a button up shirt that is a little too tight but fits perfectly around his muscular body. You can see his arms popping out from the shirt. You can see the beginning of his chest because his button is down a little too low. English smells all good. He's all prim and proper. He has that grown and sexy thing down to a fucking art.

And then there's Joshua with his Armani blazer, his Burberry shirt and his Rolex watch on looking like someone's Real Househusband or something.

Then there's me. I had on some sweats, a white t-shirt and a ball cap on. I'm beyond embarrassed.

The worst part of all of this is they actually look like they belong together.

"I brought the girls over to play with Sean one day," my brother explains with a slight smile, "We had a good time and Sean just didn't want me to leave."

"He didn't?"

English turns at that moment clearly not wanting to answer the question. Funny how Sean didn't want Joshua to leave but Sean could give two fucks if I came or went. I notice English is dodging me. It's OK. My brother's cockiness says it all.

"Who asked who out?" I ask.

"Why does it matter?" Joshua asks me.

It mattered because he was a piece of shit brother who went out of his way to try to take every man that belonged to me. That's why it fucking mattered. I open my mouth ready to just let all these emotions out but then I remember English is at the table. The last thing I want to do is embarrass myself in front of English.

English must know it's awkward because he answers first, "I asked Joshua."

It's an awkward silence.

English doesn't give an explanation. He doesn't soften the blow. He just states the fact and it hits me like a ton of fucking bricks. It gets so quiet after a few minutes. No one says a word. The waiter brings our drinks and I feel like the biggest third wheel in the world.

English asked Joshua out. What. The. Fuck.

"I should go," I state.

"I'll walk you out to your car," English offers, "It's real dark out."

"No..." Joshua interrupts, "Let me."

Joshua had never offered to walk me to my goddamn car before tonight. Maybe he didn't want me alone again with English on the night of his date. I don't know what it was. English gets up and gives me a hug. He smells so fucking good that when he hugs me I'm there sniffing onto the hairs of his neck jealous that I was leaving and Joshua would be doing god knows what with him that night.

Joshua walks me out to the car and I think about letting it go. I think about not saying a goddam thing but I change my mind.

Fuck that.

"You a hoe. You know that?" I ask.

"Excuse me?"

You would think Joshua is real confused. He's playing dumb. The parking lot is dark as fuck and I could beat his ass real good out here. I'm really considering it. Joshua was always surprisingly strong though and that's probably the only thing stopping me from punching him dead in his fucking head right now.

"I came to dinner with English."

"What's that mean?"

"It means I was interested."

Joshua laughs. I swear he breaks out into a whole laugh right now. I can't help it. I push him. I push him hard as I can and he stumbles backwards. I expect him to get pissed and maybe try to fight me but he doesn't. It causes Joshua to laugh even fucking harder. The smile he has on his face stretches from ear to ear. He is truly fucking entertained in my pain.

"That don't mean shit," Joshua responds, "He never mentioned anything about you. You think English was yours because what...he accepted your invitation to dinner one night?"

"You don't know shit about my relationship with English."

Joshua rolls his eyes, "Jamison these fucking fairytales you subscribe to are getting ridiculous. There WAS no relationship with you and English. He's an honest guy. He would have told me."

Joshua is acting like he knows English. It pisses me off. This was the guy raising my son for years. Joshua was going on turf that he shouldn't be fucking messing around with and he was doing it with a straight face as though none of it fucking mattered.

"Like Keon wasn't in a relationship with me? When you stole him?" I ask my brother.

"Is this what this is all about?" Joshua asks with an emotionless expression etched on his face, "You think this is revenge? You fucked my husband so you think I'm getting back at you. You think you're important enough for me to do that."

"You've done it before. You fucked up my marriage with Shantelle with Brian."

"Let's make this very fucking clear. That wasn't about you..."

For the first time in a long time my brother shows some real emotion when he nearly snares at a thought that arises in his head. It's the one thing that the two of us may share in common. It's the one thing that the two of us feared so much.

"Dad..."

That's who it was about. It was about our father when he fucked up my marriage. I wonder if he thinks it means something that he did it to hurt my father. I wonder if Joshua really believes that right now we have come to some kind of peace. There would never be any peace.

"Listen. You wanted Keon so bad? That's the love of your life right? Have him. I'm not bothered. I realized a long time ago you don't get blessings by counting your curses. If he would have so easily fucked you then he wasn't mine to begin with..."

I think at that moment of revealing it. I could tell him right now that Keon thought it was him giving him the dick in the shower. Joshua would hate me, but he already hated me. It wouldn't matter. He would go back to Keon. He would fix whatever stupid ass relationship he had with Keon. Keon would never move on from Joshua anyway. That much was clear. They might as well be together.

I might as well fix this before Joshua and English got too close.

Right?

Wrong. Why should Joshua get his happily ever after so easily with Keon? Even if I didn't want Keon I didn't want to see them together.

"Have fun on your date," I tell Joshua instead.

~

I take my ass to church that next day. Joyous pulls me into the old family church. I feel sick to my stomach coming up to this place after so long but I do it for Joyous. He says he needs to talk to God. I swear I never in my life met a thug that was so religious as my brother. Truthfully it helps though. I bring Keon with us and I think he needs to get out of the house.

"You want to take communion?" I ask Keon.

Keon doesn't answer. He just shakes his head and looks away, "I used to come here with Skinny when we were younger. We'd sit right in the front row and watch your dad."

Skinny was Keon's nickname for Joshua. I'm not surprised he's talking about him. Joyous seems heavily annoyed though when he hears Keon say it.

"Why'd you bring this fuc..."

He's about to curse but he stops himself remembering where he is. I can tell Joyous is beyond pissed at Keon.

"Stop Joyous..."

Joyous gives Keon a hard look, "No. Hell no. Keon, let's make one thing clear. Joshua does not want you. He's moved on."

"We just taking a break. He'll come to his senses..." Keon states.

"Did you tell him?"

I know Joyous is saying this because he's pissed. Earlier that day I had told him about my little run in with English and Joshua. I definitely didn't want Keon finding out about this but Joyous was so irritated with Keon mopping around that he was willing to spill the beans just to drive that extra screwdriver into Keon. The hate between the two was real. They used to be so cool too. Keon was under Joyous. He sold for Joyous. Ever since Joyous found out that Keon was fucking not only one of his little brothers but both there was an issue. Joyous wasn't homophobic he was just...a little overprotective. To say the least.

"Tell me what?" Keon asks.

We get quiet. This wasn't the time or place. The new pastor was coming out after the chorus was done singing the opening hymn. The new pastor is none other than Uncle Regis. He got upgraded from Deacon after my father died.

"Keon don't overreact," I start.

"Tell me what?" Keon states looking over at me.

I care about the guy. It's hard to see him like this. It's hard to see Keon unraveling the way he was. I hadn't known Keon was this emotional but right now emotions were completely running his life. I was getting a little scared about what Keon was capable of in this state.

"English went on a date with Joshua..." Joyous spills out.

I swear Joyous snickers when he does it. I elbow my brother realizing he's doing this in the cruelest way possible. It doesn't matter though. Anyway this news came out to Keon would have been bad. Keon does something that shocks me at that moment. He grabs a bible and throws it right at my brother's head. It hits my brother square in the head.

Joyous gets up to fight in the middle of the service and the only thing there to hold him back is me.

"Come on you lying piece of shit," Keon states, "I been wanting to whoop your fucking ass for years."

My brother was a true thug but Keon most definitely wasn't anyone's punk. Keon was from the streets. He always had respect for my brother. Joyous was the O.G but Keon had been raised as a trap boy. Right now I see how he squares up against my brother and he could care less that we were in church or not. The South Central gangster pops out of Keon and I can see all of a sudden what attracted me to him in the first place.

"Not here..." I state, looking around at the all the people in church who are shocked at our behavior, "Not here..."

I'm doing all I can to hold Joyous back. Keon just turns though and storms off. I'm so pissed at Joyous for causing this kind of scene in church of all places while our Uncle was talking.

I chase after Keon all the way into the parking lot but by the time I get there he is long gone.

"He's dramatic, isn't he?" a voice says.

I turn to see Sheila. I should have thought that her nosy ass would have followed me into the parking lot in an attempt to get some tea.

"Girl, mind your fucking business," I tell my cousin.

She looks at me and shakes her head, "I just got a text from my home girl, Monique. She said that she overheard one of you telling Keon that English went on a date with Joshua."

I give Sheila a hard stare. It was exactly why I always thought she was messy. The girl stayed in everyone's business but her own. The fucked up part about it was that she played it so clever too acting like she was above all the fray meanwhile she was right in the dirt with it. I walk up to my cousin and I point at her hard.

"Mind your fuckin' business," I repeat.

"You thought about our offer?" she asks, "That club. That's my business."

"Big Mama left it to my dad's kids. She ain't leave you and Lionel, shit. Fuck off," I respond.

It's still none of her goddam business. The girl had no concept of reality.

"Joshua got a new man. You know I always knew there was something funny about English. I always knew he got down with guys. I told Shantelle that no straight men were that well-groomed and polished without liking some boy butt. She never believed me. She said he was just FINE. Now look. Joshua got him a FINE boyfriend. Keon is gonna be pissed, but it's OK. Maybe now we don't need Jamila. Maybe now we can use Keon..."

"English is NOT his man."

"You sound mad. What you jealous or something?" she asks before pausing, "Oh my god! Jamison. You are jealous. I know my petty ass cousin's jealous face anywhere."

"English and Joshua do not go together," I state, "Don't go around spreading that rumor, Sheila. I'm not playing with you."

Sheila smiles. It's this wicked smile.

"They don't go together yet, but who knows what happens. You sleep on this and they might. And I don't think you want that. I can tell. That English is sex on a plate OK. And he probably loves him how sophisticated Joshua is."

"Girl bye...tell Joyous I left..."

I start walking towards my car. Luckily we all drove separately.

Sheila chases me down to my car, "It's gonna happen...unless we stop it."

I stop before getting in the car.

"Stop it?" I ask.

"AK..." Sheila states.

The name sounds bitter in my mouth.

"What the fuck does Joshua's ex have to do with this?" she asks.

"Joshua's having a little Halloween party at the club. Why don't you invite AK?" I state.

Why the fuck did Sheila want AK there?

"Yo you on some funny shit? Why do you want AK there?"

"Would it hurt to take Joshua off his game for a while?" she asks me, "I think AK is able to do that. Don't you?"

Off his game for what purpose? Sheila was up to something. I knew my cousin. She had a dumb ass plan. It was probably as dumb as her original plan with Uncle Regis to take over the club. She was up to something but the more I think about it, why the fuck would I care? Joshua was backstabber. He was out with English. Maybe another day I would have cared what Sheila was going to do to backstab my brother but today wasn't that day.

He wanted to fuck with me then I would let Sheila fuck with him too.

What if I hooked AK back up with Joshua?

He'd leave English alone...for good.

"I'm assuming you know how to get in touch with AK." I state.

Sheila smiles. It's that same smile of a bitch that didn't know how to mind her business, "Of course I do. And you should buckle your seat belt Jamison."

"Why?"

"This party is going to be a game changer..."

~

"We have to stick together," Joyous states, "I don't know what Sheila is up to but I know Joyous is going to be on his guard if he sees us walk in here."

The night of the Halloween party comes quickly. It's getting relatively cold and I don't dress up. There was no point in dressing up. I show up with Joyous based off the fact that I don't have one or really care to have one. The only good thing is that people seem to recognize us almost immediately and walks us up to the VIP booth that overlooks the rest of the club.

"I don't see Sheila...or AK here yet. Everyone is coupled up though. I feel like this is date night or something..."

It's embarrassing really.

I told Joyous about Sheila inviting AK to this thing. She was surprisingly trying to help me out and get AK to get back with Joshua. Of course Joyous is all about this. He feels as though it would make things better if Joshua forgave AK. Maybe he feels like Joshua would forgive him too.

It is even more lavish then I remembered it to be. Because it's Halloween it's clear Joshua went all out with the decorations. The place looks like some sexy haunted house or something. When we get up there I run across a couple of old friends but it isn't until our sister Jamila sees us that it's clear why we are here.

"I didn't know you two got invites," Jamila states.

"It's a public club isn't it?" Joyous asks, "We're the public I guess."

I sigh a little bit, "We should be even more like that. More like family. I guess you wouldn't recognize that anymore though. Kind of like I barely even recognize you anymore."

Jamila is dressed up in her best cat woman leotard. It is skin tight and she had some patent leather heels to match them. My sister would have never felt so comfortable dressed up in the way that she is right now a few years ago. She always was a slim girl and always felt a little self-aware of her flat chest but right now she felt confident in her look.

Jamila damn near growls her answer, "For years I lost myself, looking for love in all the wrong places. Well I found love in myself now. What's wrong with that?"

"Absolutely nothing," a voice says.

I turn to see who is backing up my sister. I'm not surprised to see Joshua and Marcella standing there. Joshua is dressed as an angel. I think it must be some sort of fucking joke really when I see the costume.

"Are we not welcome up here?" I ask Joshua, confronting him almost immediately.

"English is coming," Joshua states, "He's on his way."

It's a random thing to fucking say.

"So? What's that got to do with us being welcome here."

"I was just pointing it out. I have no problem with guests...as long as they behave," Joshua tells me.

"Guests. Can you believe that Joyous?" I ask.

I get no response. I think Joyous would at least have my back but he is hypnotized. I notice what he is staring at. He's staring at Marcella who is dressed up as a devil to compliment Joshua's angel costume. Right now my oldest brother is giving into every last temptation when he sees Marcella. I swear I want to elbow him in his shoulder to make him snap out of it.

"Can we PLEASE stay..." Joyous states.

So much for sticking together. As soon as he saw Marcella, Joyous completely loses his cool. Now he's here throwing out the little ground we had to hold to beg Joshua to stay. And Joshua reluctantly agrees to let us stay in a club that we should have been partial owners of...if we behave.

Isn't he merciful?

I roll my eyes. I needed a drink. Desperately. I head down out of VIP abandoning Joyous who is giving Marcella the biggest "I want to fuck you in every hole you have" stare I have ever seen in my life. I manage to get away from them and make my way down.

I'm searching for my plan and sure enough I find him.

"AK..."

"Hey..."

AK is there. He's dressed up in camo fatigues. AK had always been attractive in his own way. He was always about swag. The guy with the sexy voice that walks into a room and is too cool for school that girls probably throw their panties at him but on the down low he's really looking at their brothers. He was one of those guys you couldn't tell was gay in a million years. He was blunt and kind of ghetto. The guy had tats all over his neck and even some new ones on his face but there was something so sexy about it that no one seemed to care.

"You made it," I state.

I'm surprised Sheila came through. She really brought AK here.

He nods, "Yeah. With you in jail and the awkwardness with Joyous I didn't have anyone to really keep in contact with...to know that your brother was OK."

The dude sounds earnest. I could tell he doesn't want to sound too desperate but peaks of it are breaking through especially when he looks around a little bit out of nowhere before taking a sip of his drink in the crowded club and acting like he's just checking the scene. He wasn't checking no scene. I knew damn well who AK was checking for.

"Well glad you kept in touch with her. Joshua is upstairs...I think he sees us. Oh shit. He does. Oh shit he's coming down."

"Fuck. Damn maybe I should bounce."

"Bounce? Fuck you talking about?"

I try to lead AK up there. No time to waste. I'm surprised when AK doesn't come though. He stays where he is.

"I want to yo...but on some real shit, I don't think it's a good idea," AK responds.

"What? Fuck are you talking about AK?"

Just at that moment someone walks over.

It's this guy. He is brown skin. He is around my height. He has really long hair that is all the way down to the middle of his back. I have to admit the guy is good looking. His long hair doesn't even make him that feminine. He's actually quite masculine and handsome. He walks close to AK pushing up next to him at that moment and I swear the guy is SCREAMING that AK and him are together by his body language.

This is definitely not good.

"You brought...a date with you?" I ask shaking my head at AK, "What the fuck..."

The boy reaches his hand out.

"I'm Jax."

I don't shake the boy's hand. He's probably a cool guy but I'm not interested in getting to know anyone else. Right now my only concern is getting AK to talk to my brother.

I turn to AK, "You supposed to be here trying to get my brother back and you bring a fucking date? You not the same AK with the flowers trying hard as hell to pretend you aren't a gangster just to impress my brother?"

AK seems flustered.

"Yo...that nigga don't want me no more. Not after what I did. Jax maybe we should go somewhere else and hang out or something," AK responds, "I'm not trying to ruin Joshua's time."

AK is ready to go and it's his date Jax who stops him, "I didn't get a chance to meet anyone. I don't want to leave yet..."

"Yeah. Please don't leave. Besides. How do you know you did shit?" I ask.

AK seems confused, "What does that mean?"

"When you fucked Joyous did you feel like you had sex?"

"We woke up, we were fucked up. We were naked...there was empty condoms."

"Who got fucked?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean who got fucked."

AK pauses to think. I don't know if it ever occurred to him. He knew he didn't get fucked and I think he knew damn well my brother Joyous would NEVER be anyone's bottom if he was gay. Joyous was the kind of motherfucker to snap on someone and kill them if he thought that shit went down. So that left one question. One question that AK was lingering in his mind. Who got fucked?

Hopefully I can help AK solve this mystery without giving away Keon's secret and exposing him. The last thing I wanted to do was betray Keon. I was loyal regardless of what we were going through at this time.

Still I needed Joshua back with AK and away from English.

I needed Joshua away from my son.

We are interrupted.

"I'm Jax..." AK's date tries to shake my hand again, "I heard a lot about you."

I roll my eyes at the guy. Jax wasn't helping and my brother was coming down after seeing me with AK. I was sure of it. I knew my brother. I only had a limited window to get AK to realize that maybe he didn't have sex with Joyous after all.

"Can we talk in private?" I ask AK, "There's a room back here..."

AK looks over at his date, "Jax I'll be right back OK..."

I quickly grab AK and take him to the back area where there is a little kitchen area. Staff is usually the only one allowed back here but the music is muffled so we can talk freely. I need to get it into AK's head. I needed to make him understand.

"What did my cousin hire a fucking retard to make my brother jealous and throw him off his game?" I ask before turning to AK, "He's headed down here. What you going to do AK?"

"I actually just met him today. Sheila set us up," AK responds, "She says the only way I can get back with Joshua is to make him jealous."

I roll my eyes at AK.

"Man Sheila is playing games. Get your man back..."

"What if he's happier now?" AK asks me, "I fucking played him..."

"What if you didn't?" I ask AK, "What if it was all some sort of misunderstanding? What if you never cheated on him."

AK sighs.

"I'll try again but I kept away this long because I thought he was happy regardless of how much I didn't want to," AK explains, "Regardless of how much I loved him. It kills me every day but I kept away so that he could be happy. If there is a chance I didn't do those things to him. If there is even the slightest chance..."

When AK says that for the first time I kind of see the true guy. I didn't know much about AK except that he was some gangster who had some good times with my brother. Right now I really see him though. He wasn't like Keon. He wasn't going to pressure Joshua into something. He was playing his sidelines while Keon did whatever it took to manipulate his way into Joshua's heart. AK was there playing the sidelines just wanting to see Joshua happy.

I wasn't a fan of Joshua by any means, but this shit right here.

This was love...

"Take your chance," I state.

Just at that moment I hear some people walking into the back. It's Jax. He just stands there. He seems to be leading Jax.

"I heard them come back here," Jamison's date says.

"Thanks for leading me," Joshua states, "AK...I wasn't expecting you to come."

"I need to talk to you," AK responds, "A lot of things that happened with me and Joyous don't add up. I was hoping that we can kind of talk about it. Maybe...maybe things weren't exactly what I remembered them..."

Joshua looks confused, "Really?"

AK hesitates, "Only if you are willing to hear me out? No pressure..."

There is a pause.

Joshua seems confused when he sees me, "Sure. We can talk alone...but what's going on back here. What are you two doing back here..."

"We were just talking," I state.

"I heard them say something about trying to find a place to fuck," Jax states.

AK and I look at one another. What the fuck? We are both so confused. None of us are as confused as Joshua though. Joshua leans into Jax.

"Can you say that one more time. I don't think I got you."

Jax looks back at us and says, "I heard the two of them say they wanted to go find a place to fuck."

AK's mouth drops. I laugh. It's not because I find it funny. Well I kind of do. It's just who the fuck was this guy to LIE so blatantly. I swear this guy must be a professional actor because at this moment he is the most realistic I've ever seen before. For a moment I even believe him. I play the last moments back in my head. What the fuck was wrong with this man?

Joshua storms off. I'm used to it by now. It's like some sort of tragedy with him storming off. I swear I don't even know how to react to it this time. It's like the boy who cried wolf. I had fucked up so long that the first time I didn't fuck up Joshua would probably never believe me.

AK of course runs after him.

And I'm left alone with this guy...Jax.

And this LYING piece of shit reaches his hand out to me, yet again and introduces himself, "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself to you properly. My name is Jax. Jax Wallace."

Why did this fucking weirdo have my last name?

To read the next chapter go to www.crushedcrown.com