Black Sheep

Black Sheep 15

Blacksheep15

“Oh my god…oh my god…he’s dead…HE’S DEAD!”

My father died and everyone is in shock. No one knows what to say. It was just a physical fight. It didn’t have to be escalated to this level. No one’s life was at risk.

Why was a gun involved?

Why was my father shot?

“Are you OK?” Keon asks me trying to get me off the ground.

AK pushes him away, “I got him. I’ll take care of him. He’s mine. You take care of your dude…”

Jamila is crying. Tear are rolling down her face. That isn’t the worst of the reactions though. My mother is screaming. I’ve never heard such a scream like that in my life. She sounds like some sort of wild banshee, pulling at my father’s bloody corpse wanting him to be alive but knowing damn well that he isn’t alive. Across from her is my brother Joyous. He grabs the gun that was used to kill my father, but Joyous wasn’t the shooter.

Joyous grabbed the gun from my brother Jamison.

Jamison killed my father.

“Why Jamison?” Keon is asking him.

Jamison is just shaking his head. He can’t answer. Keon won’t understand. He could see from the outside but I could see from the inside. I knew exactly why Jamison had killed my father. Jamison was never as strong as me. Jamison never could really face my father in the way that I could. Him killing my father was his way of finally taking a stand. After all those years of being bullied, he had built up to this moment.

And he just exploded.

He just let loose and my father’s body was the end of it.

The club is emptying. This was the first night of the Marchioness and gunshots were fired. There is a panic downstairs unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

I look over at AK.

“You’re good…look at me,” AK tells me, “I got you. You hear me baby? You’re good.”

I nod at him weakly, but I don’t believe it. I don’t feel good. I feel like I was so close to having a successful night and everything was ruined. I was just picking up all the pieces of my life and someone had come to crush my dream into a million pieces. Now I didn’t know where to start. Now I didn’t know where to start to solve the puzzle.

I was back at ground zero.

I hear a slap. It’s the strongest slap I’ve ever heard in my life.

My mother has slapped Jamison. The stinging slap is the deepest thing that I’ve ever heard before. I see Jamison’s cheek damn near ring when my mother slaps him the way that she does. He doesn’t expect it. It shakes the entire room.

“YOU MONSTER!” my mother is screaming, “YOU FUCKING MONSTER! YOU KILLED YOUR OWN FATHER!”

Joyous points at Jamila, “Keep her quiet…”

Jamila grabs my mother and walks her out of the room. It’s probably for the best to get her away from Jamison at that moment. Jamison is still staring at my father’s body. He had snapped. I imagine that I could be Jamison. I could be the one realizing that I had just killed my own father.

I announce to the room as though it matters, “He was trying to protect me.”

Truth was I didn’t know how real it was. I wanted to hope that was the case. My father wasn’t going to kill me though. He was going to maybe kick me a few times, drag his wife away and maybe sentence us all to a lifetime in hell. That’s what my father’s motto was. The fact that Jamison had pulled this trigger probably had so little to do with the fact that my father was attacking me.

“What are we going to do?” Keon asks.

“I need to get him out of here,” Joyous responds.

I’m confused, “What the fuck are you talking about Joyous?”

“I need to get Jamison out of here before the cops show up.”

“I’ll do it,” Keon responds.

“No disrespect but this is my brother. It’s my responsibility…”

Keon argues right back with him, “It is disrespect Joyous. This has been my lover for the past fucking decade Joyous! FALL the fuck back!”

It’s getting heated between Keon and Joyous. At that moment I swear I think Joyous is going to break his promise that he made me where he said he would never hurt Keon. At that moment I don’t know if I’m more concerned with Joyous hurting Keon or Keon hurting Joyous though. Keon has this look in his eyes that lets me know that he’s more than ready to fight in order to protect Jamison.

It’s actually Jamison who stops this from occurring.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jamison states.

We all look at Jamison.

“What?” I ask.

“I killed him. I’ll suffer the consequences,” Jamison states.

I never thought I’d hear Jamison actually saying those words. For the first time I don’t look at him as some follower. He has escaped my father’s shadow finally. He was finally a man and he was finally taking responsibility for his own actions. There was no demon that needed to be extracted from him now. He finally understood who he was and he was finally free of my father.

We sit there quietly. I look over at Keon. He’s crying. I never knew just what the extent was that Keon cared about Jamison. I knew they were intimate for years. You don’t think about what that intimacy meant though especially when you were on the other side of things. I feel so bad for Keon at that moment. I don’t know how else to feel but…bad.

On my side AK holds my hand. He doesn’t let it go. I know that I’m not alone with AK there with me. I know that he is on my side.

Then there is Joyous. We all thought if anyone would be going to jail for murder in the family it would be him.

“The cops are coming,” Marcella’s voice breaks the silence.

I get up at that moment.

I don’t have much time. I walk over to Jamison. I have to wait a second for Keon to get off of him. Keon is clearly trying to comfort him.

“I’ll get you the best lawyers,” I state, “We’ll fight this. We’ll say it was self-defense.”

“Mom…”

I know what he is about to say. Our mother would snitch worse than a hooker in church. She was going to say exactly what happened.

“We’ll fight it,” I promise him, “I’m on your side.”

He reaches over and hugs me. His hug is close. I can feel Jamison’s tears rolling down his cheek and landing on the side of my face. They are so wet. That’s when my brother says something that I never remember him ever in his life saying to me.

“I love you.”

I’m shocked by it. It’s crazy how three little words can affect you from someone you had always been at odds with.

“I love you too,” I respond.

“Take care of him…”

I already know who he’s talking about. He’s talking about Keon. Keon is uncontrollable right now. The tears are flying down his face and he will not be consoled. Just at that moment the cops come in. I have no doubt my mother has already told them who did it from downstairs. I watch how they point their guns at Jamison. I watch how they treat my brother like a criminal.

I watch how they drag him away, leaving my family to sit in the room, wondering.

We are silent. We don’t know what to do.

We don’t know what comes next.

“Mom headed down to the precinct to give her statement,” Jamila tells us, “The cops should be coming in to get statements from the rest of us shortly.”

“What are we going to say?” I ask.

Jamila gives me a hard look, “Excuse me?”

“We need to all say the same thing if we are going to combat what Mom is stating,” I respond.

Jamila shakes her head, “I don’t know about the rest of you but I plan on telling the truth.”

“He’s family!” I scream.

“So was Dad!” she responds, “Whether you hated him or not.”

I guess that was the problem. I never really looked at my father that way. Maybe it’s because he never looked at me that way.

Jamila isn’t crying like earlier. She seems somewhat composed now. I have to admit that I’m a little proud of her to see her a little bit more decent.

“I can’t believe he did it,” Joyous states.

It’s as though murder was so out of reach for someone like him. I roll my eyes when he says it. If none of them understood why Jamison did it I did.

I look at the group. I know this is going to affect us forever. Our lives would never be the same.

“What now?” Keon asks.

“We press on,” I state, “A murder on the day the Marchioness opens is not going to stop us. We will press on. We will keep going. No matter what. Big Mama wants this. This is her plan. We’ll press on and no matter what…no matter how…we will make this work. That is what we are. That is who we are.”

Here I was.

Here I was leading my family in a rally cry. I was trying to make them stronger.

Me.

The Black Sheep.

Who would have thought?

~

Chapter 1

When I was younger my father would take me out into the forest. He’d never bring my brothers and sister out there when we went hunting. I used to feel like I was a member of the fucking boy scouts or some shit. Of course there weren’t no boy scouts in the hood or nothing. Didn’t matter to me none. I was just as important as those kids when he took me up onto those mountains. We would ‘commune’ with God. Only me and him. I felt special. I felt like nothing could touch me up there when you are so high in the world looking down.

It wasn’t until one day that I saw a snake. It curled up in my tent. It’s at that moment that I realized that no matter where I went I was never really safe. There were plenty of snakes in those mountains. I was just too dumb back then.

So I scream out to my dad.

“Take that rock. Hit it,” my dad says, “God will protect you.”

I am so scared to move.

“It’s OK. Hit it with the rock,” my dad repeats, “God will protect you.”

He says it over and over until I believe it. He says it until I believe nothing will hurt me. Me being on my mountain and all. Me communing with God and all. I’m above reproach, right? So I take that big ol’ rock and I hit that fucking snake with my weak ass arm. I was just a goddam boy.

The snake survives. It recoils and strikes me biting into my arm.

I’m so confused. I am crying. If the snake was poisonous I would have died that day.

“You said God would protect me.”

“You don’t tempt God,” my father tells me, “Only a fool strikes at a snake like that. You don’t wound a snake. You kill it.”

I never understood what that meant…

5 years have passed since I killed my father.

“Someone’s waiting outside to pick you up. Here’s all your belongings.”

“I don’t need anything. Just the letters.”

I grab the letters off the table. I flick through them. I’ve lost five years of my life and I had countless letters from Keon. Knowing there was someone outside of prison that was waiting for me made everything so much more worth it.

I get out into the parking lot. My heart is so heavy when I see him running for me. I feel like I stink. My hair has grown wild all over my face. It doesn’t seem to matter to Keon though. He runs straight towards me and he hugs me. He embraces me and the warmth from his embrace is something that I’ve not felt in a long time.

I’m crying. Tears are rolling down my eyes.

“I missed you Jamison,” he tells me.

“I miss you too, my love,” I respond.

We get into his car. I can’t believe five years have passed as I look over at Keon. Nothing has changed about him. He’s still that sexy chocolate God that I knew so long ago. He’s still sexy in the best of ways. My eyes keep darting at him. I can’t take my eyes off of him.

“You’re so…perfect…” I state.

He laughs, “You been locked up too long.”

I shake my head, “I mean it. You wrote me once a week. You never missed it. Who else holds someone down like that while they are locked up?”

“I wasn’t going to forget about you,” Keon lets me know.

“Joyous did,” I respond.

It hurts. Jamila had come to see me. Hell even my brother Joshua had come to visit a few times. Joshua had also made sure to keep money on my books. The fact that my brother Joyous had never come to jail to visit me hurt me. He was the oldest. He was the one who was supposed to look out for the rest of us. I was the closest to him. The fact that he didn’t show up while I was locked up just hurts.

“It’s been busy…” he states.

“Did the gang fights start back up again?” I ask.

“Things have been tense,” Keon explains, “But no…not yet. Right now it’s club drama.”

“Club drama?”

“Managing the club is hard especially when people are trying to sabotage you and see you fail.”

“Keon what are you talking about?”

Keon shakes his head.

“Never mind. I promised I wasn’t going to bother you with all this. You just got out…”

“Keon. I want to know who’s trying to sabotage the club?” I repeat.

“It’s family drama. Your uncle Regis and your cousins are going to war with Joshua for supporting you.”

“They are angry.”

“You killed your father Jamison. Of course they are angry,” Keon states, “Your mother is leaking information to Travis Kim to damage the Marchioness.”

“Oh my god.”

What threat could the Marchioness be to a big club chain owner like Travis Kim? Why was he so concerned? Better yet why hadn’t anyone mentioned this in any letters or visits. I was beyond confused at what was going on at that moment. I didn’t get it. I had missed so much. I knew now more than ever that my family was under attack though.

My siblings were under attack.

And they needed me.

“It’s bad. It’s worse. You have no idea what all you missed since you’ve been gone. Joshua will have to fill you in.”

Keon isn’t holding back any punches. Joshua had hired me a good lawyer. I had managed to get only 5 years for doing what I did. Joshua argued that I was defending him in court. If it wasn’t for Joshua god knows where I would be at now.

“I can’t wait to see Joshua,” I state.

“I never thought I’d hear the day you say that,” Keon laughs nervously.

“I’m serious. You and Joshua have been in my corner,” I respond, “There’s no way I could have been able to do this time without the two of you.”

Keon nods.

“He’ll be happy to see you too. Everyone will be.”

“How’s his boyfriend AK?”

“AK?” Keon asks, “He’s good. Good…”

“Joshua doesn’t talk about his dating life when he comes to visit me.”

Keon sighs, “Jamison. You have to understand the two of you were never really…that close.”

He had a point. We never were that close. I get why there’s a bit of a situation. Still I wanted to change that. I was going to change that. I was going to come home and I was going to fix my relationship with my siblings.

“It’ll get better,” I tell Keon, “I know it will.”

We get a place that I don’t recognize. It’s a house. It has a driveway. The place looks really nice. It’s not too far from my old hood but this definitely is not the hood. I look at the huge mansion like house that we pull up to at that moment and I’m surprised to say the least.

“This is my place…” he states.

“You drive a Buick and you pull up to this?” I ask.

“Actually the Buick is my throw away car,” Keon explains, “Those are my other cars.”

Keon clicks a pad on his key chain and opens up the garage door. There is a chain of cars there at that moment. My mouth drops, I’m so shocked and confused.

“How----how the FUCK did you afford all this?”

“Let’s just say…the Marchioness has been doing very well for us,” Keon explains, “All of us. Here.”

Keon hands me a set of keys.

“What’s this for?”

“A gift from your brother Joshua.”

“You’re joking.”

“We’re all family,” Keon tells me, “This is what family does.”

Family. I realize how much I’ve missed when I click the keys and see the BMW that is parked in the front. It’s never been driven before. It’s a fresh fucking new ride. I’m shocked when I see this. My heart is racing. I hadn’t even got a chance to shave. I looked like a fucking cave man and I’m hoping around in this nice neighborhood with a fucking nice ass car. I’m shocked to say the least.

“Holy Shit! HOLY SHIT!”

“Calm down…” he laughs, “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

We walk into the house. I’m blown away when I see the fucking house. It’s huge. It has glass walls. This place looks like some sort of fucking beautiful mansion. Looking at this place I’m shocked that Keon lives here. I have nothing but a box of letters and I feel like I’m floating on cloud 9 or something like that.

“I feel like I don’t fit in here,” I respond.

“Don’t worry, we ordered you a whole new wardrobe,” someone says.

I turn around at that moment and see a man standing there. He’s a handsome looking guy with brown skin, a short Caesar haircut and striking dark brown eyes. He’s tall…probably around 6’5” and looks more like he should be on someone’s fashion runway or something.

“This is my assistant Graph…”

“Wow…” I state, “You’re tall.”

“Graph is single too,” Keon states.

I’m surprised when Keon says that to me. Why the fuck would I care if his assistant was single or not. He laughs it off though in a teasing way. Maybe he doesn’t want me to think something is going on between him and this Graph guy. It wasn’t like I would think that anyway. I knew what Keon and I had was real.

Five years wouldn’t change that.

A lifetime wouldn’t change that.

Graph turns and walks out of the room, “I’ll prepare the guest bed room for Mr. Wallace.”

“Guest bedroom?” I ask.

“Yeah, don’t worry. It’s real nice. It has a private entrance that leads right out onto the beach,” Keon explains to me.

His house had a beach out back! I try not to get distracted. I understand the Marchioness was doing well. I was happy that everyone was benefiting off of this. Maybe that’s why I was even able to get out of jail so quickly because my family was just throwing money at the problem. Still I was kind of confused on something.

“Why am I sleeping in the Guest bedroom?” I ask, “Shouldn’t I be sleeping with you?”

Keon’s smile fades at that moment.

He pauses.

“You’re joking right?” Keon asks.

“I’m confused.”

“It’s been five years…” Keon states, “You missed a lot in those five years. You’ve missed…so much…”

My heart is beating fast at that moment. Were we not together anymore? Was he telling me that he no longer wanted to be with me or something? My heart is racing at that moment. I’m looking around the house when I see something in the distance. It’s a toy. A toy is sitting there. It’s just fucking sitting there.

“What’s that?” I ask, pointing at the toy.

“It’s belongs to the person I wanted you to meet,” Keon states.

My stomach turns.

“I don’t think I feel too good.”

“Don’t worry sit right there. I think I need to catch you up on my life. I didn’t want to stress you out in jail so I never told you how things have changed for me. I know you’ll support it. You told me to be happy when you first went in.”

My heart is racing.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Keon? Have you been dating?”

“You said I should be happy…”

My heart is racing.

“Keon do you have a child?”

I feel sick. I feel sick to my stomach.

Keon doesn’t even realize it. He doesn’t realize how sick he’s making me right now.

“I do.”

“Jesus,” I state.

I sit on the nearest couch. I did tell him to be happy. I just figured I was the one that made him happy. I knew all these five years he had been avoiding me. He had been avoiding talking about his personal life. I figured he was dating. Keon was sexy as fuck. Who would I have been kidding to think he wouldn’t be dating? Of course he would be dating.

I just didn’t think it would be an entire family.

“Baby…come down stairs. Bring the twins.”

Baby? Twins.

Just at that moment I see two little girls coming down the stairs. They are the prettiest three-year-old girls that I’ve ever seen in my life. They have hair going down to their butts. It’s long and straight. They have dark beautiful skin like Keon but there is also something weird about them. They have my family’s nose. They have my nose.

Then I realize the person Keon is calling his baby. I realize who is walking them down.

“Brother…there’s so much you missed. So much we need to catch you up on.”

I realize at that moment that Keon has been dating my brother…

Joshua.

That’s when I realize what my father has said at that moment. They wound me. It’s a mortal wound. It’s deep but they have no idea the level of venom I prepared to strike back with. Joshua has no idea what he has just done. He had just hit me. He had just hit me in a place that I would never forgive. I’m green with envy and it hurts.

It hurts SO much.

But I’m alive. I’m alive and I’m angry.

Only a foul strikes a snake like that. You don’t wound a snake. You kill it.

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