Black Sheep

Black Sheep 14

Blacksheep14

I get a knock on the office door. I had built an office in the Marchioness. We still hadn’t opened yet but it was coming along. I haven’t really been social with anyone in quite some time. It’s impossible to want to leave the house. I didn’t know whether AK was alive and I had no way of getting in touch with him. Keon had run off and wanted nothing more to do with me. I had just found out my brother Joyous was a fucking monster. The truth was I didn’t know what I was doing here.

I had buried myself in this club. It was all that mattered. It kept me busy.

“I’m busy! Go away!” I say.

I expect it to be Marcella. She’s the only one who really bothers me. Everything else goes through her. I rather not get to know the people in this community. I wasn’t here to make friends. I had been disappointed over and over by this community.

I promised Big Mama that I would re-open her club.

That was exactly what I planned to do. I was going to re-open this piece of shit club and then I was getting the fuck out of dodge.

The door opens regardless of me telling the person to go away. I lift my head about ready to go off on Marcella but then I realize it’s not Marcella.

“Jamila!”

I jump up. I had heard she was out of the hospital finally. I jump up and head her way. I give her a hug…

“I tried calling you. Figured you didn’t recognize my new number.”

“You got a phone finally?” I ask.

I’m shocked to say the least. Jamila was well known for not having a phone.

“I’m trying this new thing called life. It’s not easy. For so long I was just existing,” she tells me, “I’m starting to go to rehab three times a week.”

“Thank God…I had no idea…”

Jamila doesn’t look as good as she did when she was with Travis Kim. That was all a show though. Now I can see the real struggle of a woman who had gone through addiction. She looks like she is struggling with withdrawal. She looks sickly. None-the-less even through this she smiles tenderly. It’s a slow, eager smile. I can tell she really wants to impress me for some reason.

“You would have known if you came to see me,” she states.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been…so busy,” I state.

“I see. You’ve really brought this place back to life,” she explains, “Your assistant gave me a tour of the place just a few minutes ago.”

“I’ve tried.”

“All alone.”

Jamison was under my father’s wing. He wanted nothing to do with the Sin club. Joyous had emptied himself back into the streets sending his goons to my door every once in a while, to see if I needed an extra hand. Jamila was too busy working on herself. I owned this club with three other people and no one had lifted a fucking finger to help me.

I knew if Keon was here he would help me, but he wasn’t. I had run him off for good.

“Yeah. Alone.”

Jamila sighs, “I’m so sorry. Listen my therapist says I should probably not be around liquor or the nightlife but once I get better I’ll definitely be able to…”

I cut her off.

“It’s fine.”

“You sure?”

She might be able to see the fact that I feel so alone. I am trying to hide it from her but I know I’m alone. I’m more alone than ever.

“I’m fine,” I assure her, “It’s better this way.”

“Joyous came to see me,” she explains, “He apologized for everything that happened. We made up. I think he’s really trying. He’s softening…”

“Softening?” I ask, shaking my head, “You don’t know Joyous.”

If she had seen the monster that I saw she wouldn’t be saying that he is softening.

“He wants to see you. He asked if you maybe wanted to get lunch…”

“Lunch? Rumor has it that the streets are bleeding between his war with Sosa. Shit has intensified that the President is threatening to send the US Guard to this neighborhood. Maybe he should worry about that instead of having lunch with me.”

Jamila sighs. Maybe she was so intertwined with her rehab that she hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten in these streets. Ever since Joyous shot AK there was never a day that someone didn’t die. Sosa and Joyous were going tit for tat. It would never end until each side killed one another and wiped them off the face of the planet.
“Joshua, he’s trying,” Jamila tells me.

I don’t know exactly what Jamila is here trying to accomplish. Maybe Joyous sent her to try to patch things up with me now that they were on better terms. It wasn’t going to work. I was pissed. I was beyond removed from the family dynamic. I wanted nothing to do with it.

“I’m not interested,” I state.

“Joshua…”

“The Grand Opening is tonight,” I state, “I’m hoping you’ll be able to make it.”

I don’t mean to cut Jamila off the way that I do but I don’t have a choice. Right now wasn’t really the best time for me. I wasn’t in the mood to fake this family bond anymore. I was over it. I was entirely over it all.

“I don’t know,” she tells me, “Like I said…I’m not supposed to be around that kind of stuff.”

I shrug.

“Figures.”

Jamila shakes her head, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

I don’t want to upset her. I love my sister. I’m not sure what kind of difficulties she’s facing through recovery. It’s not about that though.

I feign a smile, “Nothing. Make it if you can.”

I return to my desk. I return to my work. I was used to this. I was used to doing things on my own. I was the Black Sheep after all.

~

It’s hours before the grand opening of the Marchioness. I should be at the Marchioness getting ready for the doors to open but instead I find myself at Big Mama’s house. I don’t know why I’m here. I feel so stupid hanging out at the door not sure if I should knock or not. It’s almost as though they know that I’m there because for some reason the door opens.

It’s my mother.

“Baby…”

“I don’t mean to bother…”

“No, you’re not bothering me at all,” she states, “It’s good to see you baby. Come in.”

She’s happy to see me. When I step in the house I realize why. I don’t know why I was actually getting my hopes up for the moment.

“I’m assuming he’s not home.”

It’s the only reason that she would have let me in the house. It’s the only reason she would have been smiling at me so hard and hugging me so much. There was no way she would have been acting like this if my father was around. I knew that much to be true.

“He’s at the church getting ready for a special late night service,” she explains.

I nod. I shouldn’t have expected any different from my father. He was having something at his church on the same night that I was reopening his mother’s club. It was only a place for sin as far as he was concerned anyway. I knew he wasn’t going to support it.

I at least wanted to invite them formally.

“The club is open tonight.”

My mother smiles weakly.

“Now baby…”

“I know. He won’t let you come,” I state shaking my head, “I get it. I just wanted to invite you.”

“You got a lot of balls coming here,” a voice states.

I turn and see someone standing at the top of the stair. From the voice I swear it’s my father but when the person takes a few steps down I realize that it’s not my father. It’s Jamison. It’s crazy the resemblance that I see when I look up at him from the bottom of the stairs. Maybe my mother sees the resemblance as well. Maybe that is why she scatters out of sight like some sort of cockroach with a flashlight on it.

Jamison goes down the steps. He walks down slowly.

“I came to invite you and mother to the grand opening of the Marchioness…”

“I can’t make it.”

“You are part owner.”

“I have another engagement,” he states, “Pops is doing an exorcism on me.”

I look at Jamison as though his head is literally spinning around in circles when he happens to say this shit to me with a straight fucking face.

“An exorcism?” I ask.

“He’s getting the demons out,” Jamison tells me, “He’s getting the demons out of me.”

“The demons are in you now. Are they in you the same way that Keon was in you…stroking your hole? Are they into bareback? Do they nut inside you too?”

“Don’t be fuckin’ crude man.”

“How about you don’t be stupid,” I tell Jamison, “You love Keon. I know you do. Did you know that he left town?”

Jamison pauses.

He didn’t know. I know the pain that is on his face right now. I felt that same fucking pain when I read the letter that Keon wrote me letting me know that he was leaving town. I look over at Jamison and I know that he is in some real fucking pain even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“I don’t care.”

“Yes you do. Who you lying for?”

“Even if I did care, does it matter?” Jamison asks, “He’s gone…”

“And what if he came back?” I ask.

“I’m getting these demons out of me…” Jamison states, “I’m getting those memories out of me. All those memories of Keon. All those memories of the man I loved.”

Jamison looks like he wants to break down. I think he would if he were alone but he lifts up his eyes when I put my hand on his shoulder and he’s holding back.

“It’s OK to love him…”

“GET OFF ME!”

Jamison jerks back at that moment as hard as he can. I can see the look in his eyes. He’s fighting off his emotions for Keon but I knew damn well that he wanted Keon more than anything. I can see it.

“Fine. I’ll leave,” I state.

I start heading towards the door.

I get to the exit but I feel my brother still looking at me. For some reason I can tell he wants me to stop and pause. So I do it. I stop and pause.

“If he shows up at the grand opening tonight…”

“He won’t…”

“If he does…can you let him know…”

I turn to my brother. He is struggling with this. He pauses not knowing if he should finish the sentence. He doesn’t want to expose himself. Maybe he feels somewhere, somehow my father is watching him and shaking his head in disappointment. I was used to the disappointment. Jamison wasn’t.

“Let him know what?”

“Nothing.”

“How about this?” I state, “If he shows up…you can tell him whatever you want to tell him yourself…. but only if you show up.”

I leave at that moment. I leave not knowing what my brother is going to do. I leave not knowing if he was going to make the right decision. All I know is that I put the offer out there. I gave him an option. I gave him a way to make things right with Keon if he so chose to. I was doing this for him and I was doing this for Keon. I wanted to give Keon a reason to stay in the city…even if that reason wasn’t me.

~

I get to the front of the club. It’s the grand opening and I’m surprised that the line is around the corner. As I walk in I run into none other than DJ Battery.

“You look sexy…”

The red carpet is stretching all the way to the back. There is a huge sign out front with the words Marchioness plastered on it. Strobe lights illuminate the front. We wanted to make this look like it was some sort of Hollywood in the middle of the hood. People were getting dressed up like they did back in the old days.

“Shouldn’t you be at the DJ Booth,” I ask.

“Relax I was just getting something to drink,” he states, “Plus Lady Lucille has one of her girls filling in for me. She has her girls doing the valet too…”

“She really came through.”

“You really came through,” he states, “This place…it’s phenomenal.”

Battery walks me into the front entrance of the club past a few of the local Blood members who have been hired as security in the club. I walk in and I see my work unfold right in front of me.

When you walk in there is a grand chandelier overhead. There are stair cases that leads downstairs to a lounge area where people are already smoking hookah. On the main floor there is a bar to the left, with booths and seating areas with a small restaurant. There are VIP booths all along the side of the main floor heading back towards the main bar. The main bar is stocked with all sorts of liquor. Neon lights light up the dance area that is right in front of the main bar.

There are several winding staircases that lead towards the more VIP areas and rooms. Then there is the skybox. The skybox is my area. It overlooks the rest of the club. I would be able to see everything from the glass skybox…

I turn to Battery, “It’s crowded outside. There’s been a lot of hype. People showed up out of respect for my grandmother. You know that right. I need you to make it hot Battery.”

Battery winks at me flirtatiously, “As hot as you are.”

With that he heads to the booth. Battery may not be compatible with me. He may not be AK or hell even Keon for that matter, but I knew he was talented when it came to music. He came with a high price tag and I had all assurances that he was going to be worth every last red cent.

I head up to the skybox that’s overlooking the club. I’m so nervous that sweat is dripping down my back. When I get to the skybox I’m handed a drink by Marcella.

“We should toast. It’s a line around the block outside,” I tell Marcella, “The hard part is over.”

“Not quite…” Marcella states.

Marcella steps aside. When she does I see my brother Joyous there. He’s alone, which is definitely rare for him. He’s in the skybox just sitting there at the miniature bar that is up there. The skybox is decked out with complementary liquor, a wait staff, posh seating, mood lighting and a small private dance area towards the back. Only the most important VIPs would be allowed up here and I planned on having them pay a pretty penny to get up here.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to keep my brother, who was part owner of this place out of the skybox.

“You did a good job little bro. I’m proud of you,” Joyous states.

“Marcella…can you please remind our guest here that I don’t want to speak to him or have anything to do with him,” I state.

Marcella doesn’t hesitate to look at Joyous dead in his eyes, “He wants nothing to do with you.”

For some reason I think she takes pleasure out of it. Joyous looks past Marcella however and looks over at me.

“I’m sorry,” he states, “I can do better…”

“Tell my brother I’m not interested in his apologies,” I tell Marcella.

Marcella stares at Joyous, “He says he’s…”

“I HEARD HIM!” Joyous barks.

Just at that moment we are interrupted. It’s security. I watch as they walk up to Joyous. They whisper something in his ear. I’m a little pissed at this. I know that these guys who were doing security were hired by Joyous. I knew they were thugs on the streets that we were trying to give jobs but the fact that they go up to Joyous and not me pisses me the fuck off.

“Excuse me?” I state looking at the bouncer, “What the hell is the problem? You going to walk right past me like you don’t see me standing here.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry what?”

“Sorry sir,” he explains, “It’s just…complicated. We have some unwelcome guests.”

I go to the glass wall of the skybox. I look down into the crowd of people that are walking in. The club is already getting packed and a huge number of people have already begun dancing. Another large group of people were standing in line. Still there was a large group of people waiting by the front entrance to be patted down so that they can get in.

That’s when I recognize some of the people. A group of people holding up the line because they refuse to be patted down.

My mouth drops.

Sosa.

“Stay here…” Joyous states.

My heart skips a beat. I’m running after Joyous. All I can think about is No---NOT NOW! This can’t be happening now of all times. This can’t be happening now! I chase after Joyous. My heart is racing as I do it. All I know is that I have to stop him before shit blows up.

“Joyous. JOYOUS!”

He ignores me. I watch as he goes up to Sosa. I watch as Sosa goes up to him. Travis Kim isn’t here but the fact that Sosa is here blows my mind. I’m so fucking scared. I’m so fucking nervous.

All of a sudden the weirdest thing happens.

Joyous reaches his hand out, “You got my invitation…”

Invitation?

Sosa looks at Joyous. He looks at me. He seems nervous to shake his hand.

“I was surprised to get one,” Sosa states.

Joyous doesn’t hesitate to explain, “I promised my brother that I was going to do better. The streets are crying for a change right now. My grandmother built this club to bring everyone together. That’s what she wanted. So this is me reaching my hand out to you. Man to man. I want you to take it. We don’t have to be cool. We don’t have to like each other. But this is me trying to say that I want to stop the bloodshed and I want to call a truce…”

I’m surprised when Joyous does this. Sosa looks at his hand. I can see the hesitation. He doesn’t trust Joyous. He is struggling on whether to do this or not. I see a group of his people behind him. They are still refusing to be searched. Joyous isn’t alone either though. Most of the bouncers were members of his gang.

I know they didn’t search Joyous. They wouldn’t have patted my brother down because he was a partial owner of this place. I knew Joyous was carrying.

The tension is so high!

They could shoot up this whole place right now and ruin everything for all of us.

I hear a voice at that moment, a small voice behind Sosa saying, “Take it.”

I turn behind Sosa and realize who is speaking. I realize that it is none other than AK! AK is wrapped up in bandages. When he gives his brother his blessing though Sosa reaches out his hand and shakes my brother’s hand.

“Leave your weapons,” Sosa tells his people, “We won’t need them tonight.”

Sosa’s people agree to get patted down at that moment. I’ve never been so shocked in my life. I’ve never been so surprised. Just at that moment I realize that Big Mama’s symbol of unity was still alive in this club. This club meant something to the community. It meant something bigger. It meant a place we could all come together and be bigger than we really were.

I look at AK.

I can’t take my eyes off of him. Even as we walk up to the skybox I just keep looking at him like he’s some sort of a ghost.

When we get to the skybox I just kiss him. I can’t hold it back. My tongue just goes straight down his throat. I hold him. The only thing that makes me release him is when he squirms in pain a little bit.

“You want your brother to shoot me again?” AK asks.

I look over at Joyous who is also in the skybox by now.

“He’s a little distracted.”

Sure enough I see Joyous could be less concerned about the fact that I was kissing AK but Marcella was actually sitting on his lap. He must have impressed her somehow with what he did. I wasn’t sure what my relationship with Joyous was going to be or if I would ever really forgive him for what he did to AK but the fact that AK was willing to agree to this truce proved that this was a start.

“I missed you man,” AK states.

“You have no idea,” I respond.

AK smiles at that moment, “There’s another thing though. Something else that I’ve been meaning to tell you. Man…I…I love…”

Just at that moment we are interrupted. It’s Joyous. Something makes my older brother shout. At first I think something bad has happened but then I turn around and realize that a group of familiar faces just walk in the room.

“Are you serious?” I ask.

Jamila walks in the room first. She’s followed closely by Jamison. Right after Jamison is none other than my mother. I’m shocked that they are here. I don’t get it. Why the hell are they here? Why the hell are they in this room like this?

“We had to come support,” Jamison states, “I wasn’t going to let that piece of shit take all the credit for this place.”

He’s referring to me as a piece of shit. Normally I would want to argue about it but honestly at this moment I’m just shocked that my brother is here. I’m just shocked that he made it here somehow. I could hug him but I don’t know how. I never had that relationship with him. Luckily Joyous seems to be a lot more comfortable as he grabs Jamison in a bear hug, pulling him into his chest. I stand off to the side not quite knowing what to say as I see my family embrace.

All I could think about was how the fuck could this happen? Who could have made this happen?

“I had to drag their asses here to support you one way or another,” a voice states.

I turn to the door.

Keon!

He came back…

He’s dressed in a tuxedo. He’s standing out from the light. He walks into the room and makes his way to where AK and I are standing. I look over at AK. There is an awkward tension that I don’t want at that moment. I think AK realizes this.

“I’ll give you a second babe…” he states, making sure to put the emphasis on my title before adding in a low whisper, “Just a second though…”

Keon looks over at me.

“Your boyfriend still worried about me?” he asks me, grabbing a drink from one of Lady Lucile’s girls as they walk by with champagne.

“Is yours still worried about me?” I ask signaling at my brother to Keon, who is watching us like a hawk from the other side of the room.

Keon laughs at that moment. It’s a slow steady laugh.

“This place is amazing man. Seriously,” he explains, “Big Mama would be proud. She’s smiling down on it right now. She’s smiling down on you right now. You have no idea how well you did.”

“Thank you…”

Just at that moment they start playing a slow song. I almost feel like Keon set this up when he smiles immediately as the slow song comes on. I look towards the DJ booth on the first floor to see DJ Battery smiling up towards me.

“Mind if I get a dance?” Keon asks me.

I hesitate.

“Sure…bringing my family here…you deserve one.”

He takes me to the private dance area in the skybox. It’s weird dancing in front of my mother, Joyous, AK and Jamison to say the least, but Keon doesn’t seem to care. We dance slowly at that moment and it just seems fine. All of a sudden we are back to being Fatty and Skinny like we were back in the days. All of the drama that we had fades away.

“What made you come back?” I break the silence.

He shrugs, “Guess I just needed time to see things clearer.”

“Do you see things clear now?” I ask.

“I’m trying. It’s still hard. My feelings. You know. But I want to respect the fact that you are going to move on with AK.”

“And Jamison?”

Keon nods and smiles, “Jamison told me he wanted to marry me…”

I stop dancing.

“He proposed?”

It hurts. It’s not supposed to. I should be happy with AK. I should be satisfied, but at the same time I just feel like it still fucking hurts.

“Relax. I told him we’d have to start all over if we are ever going to get to that place,” Keon explains, “I’m not trying to rush anything.”

I realize I’m being selfish.

“I want you to do it. If it makes you happy.”

Keon nods.

“We all deserve it. All of us. We all deserve happiness. Maybe with the opening of this club we’ll finally get it. Maybe with the opening of this club we’ll finally get peace.”

For a moment I believe that. I rest my head on Keon’s shoulder as we dance through the song and I think that maybe my family isn’t that bad. Maybe in the end everything works out exactly how it’s supposed to.

I’m wrong.

I’m terribly. Terribly wrong.

“Pops? What are you doing here?” I hear Jamison scream out.

“You all sneak behind my back and come here to this fucking place. You all come here to this fucking sinful place!” I hear my father state.

Just at that moment he storms across the skybox and grabs my mother by her hair! He jerks her off the chair so hard that she is screaming and I swear I think she sprains her neck.

I immediately jump to her defense, “Let go of her!”

“It’s OK,” my mother is resisting my attempts to help her, “It’s OK! It’s OK!”

“No…FUCK THAT!”

It wasn’t OK. I hit my father. I hit him dead in his face. I punch him so hard that I feel my knuckles crack on his jaw. I hit him again and again until he falls to the ground. It feels so good at that moment. It feels so good to finally do what I’ve been wanting to do for so long. He tries to fight back but I punch him one last time across the jaw. I put all my anger in that punch. I put all my frustration in that punch. I put everything I’ve ever felt in that last punch.

My father hits the ground. I want to kick him when I see him on the ground. I want to stomp his ass out and finish him off.

Instead I just shake my head, “You’re not fucking worth it.”

He wasn’t. For that moment I felt free. Finally, I was free of the grip he had on me. Finally, I was free of the shade that he had given me all of these years. I didn’t need his acceptance. I didn’t need his approval. I was happy without it.

As I turn around I try to help my mother off the ground.

“WATCH OUT!” I hear AK scream out at the top of his lungs.

It’s too late because I feel my father hit me over the back of my head. I fall to the ground and watch as he kicks me swiftly in the gut. I see a bunch of people run forward to stop him.

They don’t make it.

A gunshot fires!

BANG!

The gunshot stops my father. Someone has shot my father. I don’t know how a gun got in here. I don’t know why someone would have shot my father but I turn and see who is holding the loaded gun.

I turn and see the family member who shot my father…

And it’s none other than…

To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com