This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males sex is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story begins in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe. Comments are appreciated at NJRimzu@aol.com.
Oct. 5
Danny
We somehow survived our birthdays and another weekend with the parents. The week went by so fast, our first week of love. We seem to have settled into a routine, with some variations. It's not like we're having sex all of the time, just most of the time. We sleep together every night, alternating between the tiny beds. Every morning we wake up with either a 69 or mutual handjobs. And we make love every night, usually Billy in me, but sometimes me in him. And then there are those times during the day when neither of us has a class and we just play it by ear.
And strangely enough, I seem to be able to finally focus on school. I'd been so affected by my new independent lifestyle and my unexplained feelings for Billy that I hadn't paid much attention to my classes. Now I'm finally settling into the routine of school. English Comp is my least favorite course (I can't tell Billy). I like to read, but writing is torture for me. My Calculus course is exactly the same course I took last year in high school. I really don't understand it, but I got straight A's last year so I'm cutting a lot of classes and just coasting through. I guess my favorite course is American History. Economics is boring and Sociology seems terribly obvious. I think Billy has taught me more about sociology than any professor could. And Billy has continued my 'cussing lessons', determined to make me sound as non-virginal as I now am. The 'F' word is still a problem.
I somehow programmed myself to wake up early on Friday, so Billy could wake up to a birthday blowjob. It worked. By the time he woke up, I had all but an inch or so of his hard black dick down my throat. A week of practice had improved my technique. I kept plunging up and down on his shaft, swirling my tongue around the head each time, sucking like a Hoover. Within a minute of his waking up, he was unloading what seemed to be a gallon of his sweet semen into me. I kept as much in my mouth as I could and moved up the bed and kissed him, sharing his juices with him.
"Happy Birthday, black boy. I love you"
"Mmmmm. Could I have a wake up call like that every morning?"
"If you like. It was as much fun for me as it was for you."
We just lay there a few minutes, cuddling, enjoying the feeling of closeness, of skin on skin.
Just as I was about to doze off again, he jumped up. "Okay, let's get moving. Shower, breakfast, classes. Then the birthday weekend begins."
After classes, we again took the train to Newark. I sort of dreaded a night at his parents' after the last time, but at least we all knew each other now and this was a special occasion.
"I think it would be a good idea if we didn't have sex while we're home. Too much chance of being caught."
"It may be torture, but the thought of getting caught by either your mother or your father terrifies me. So I promise to be good."
"You're always good, white boy."
I looked over at him in the seat next to me. I wanted so much to hold his hand, to have him put his arm around me, to give him a little affectionate kiss. But not on the train, not in public. And who knew how long until we got a chance in private. We'd had so much private time the past week that I hadn't really noticed how much we had to hold back in public. Now we were in for a long 'public' weekend.
"It might also be a good idea not to bring up our trip into the city to see Hair next week. My mother would think it sinful and my father disgusting."
"Yeah, my parents are kind of prudish so I think that's a good idea."
Friday night and Saturday morning weren't as confrontational as the last time. Mainly because the four of us avoided talk of religion, race, politics and social issues. In other words, it was a pretty quiet visit, a nice birthday dinner at home and Billy got the jeans he'd been hoping for. Mr. Matthews even let us each have a beer, accompanied by a disapproving frown from Mrs. Matthews. Once in bed, Billy gave me a long, sweet kiss.
"Be good now boy. Just let me fall asleep holding you in my arms and that will be the best birthday present I ever got."
Suddenly, I realized that in all of the excitement of the past week, of falling in love and into a new life, of anticipating this weekend back home, I had forgotten to buy him a birthday present. I had just spent a week on cloud nine, reveling so much in being in his presence, in love and being loved, that I had forgotten about the material world. I was horrified. How could I make it up to him? I realized from his rhythmic breathing that he had fallen asleep. Finally, with his arms around me holding me tightly, I fell asleep too.
Saturday, we made the bus trip out to Livingston.
"What do you say we go out to the movies tonight? I don't think I can take a whole evening in with my parents. The tension was getting a little high last time. It may get even worse if I slip up and exhibit the results of your cussing lessons."
"Sounds good to me."
We were just putting our stuff in the rec room when Mom called from the kitchen. "Danny, telephone. It's Jeff Andrews."
"He's a friend from Boy Scouts, a year behind me in school. I wonder how he knows I'm home."
I went out to the kitchen and picked up the phone.
"Hey Dan, how's college treating you?"
"Really well, actually. How'd you know I was home?"
"I was driving home and saw you get off the bus. The parents are out tonight and Jim and I are having a party and wondered if you'd like to come. You know a lot of the kids that'll be there."
"My roommate came home with me. Is it okay if I bring him?"
"Sure, the more the merrier."
"Hang on and I'll see if he wants to go." I let the phone hang and ran back to the rec room. "We're invited to a party tonight. Wanna go?"
"A house full of white boys and girls from Livingston? Doesn't exactly turn me on. What's your take on it?"
"Well, Jeff and his brother are great guys and I know some of their friends. It should be a pretty good time, as long as you give them a chance."
"Could be interesting seeing what kind of social life you had before. After all, you met my old friends and survived."
"Great!"
Back on the phone, I told Jeff we'd be there. "What time?"
"Anytime after 7:30 is good."
"Okay, see you then."
"So white boy, fill me in on these kids so I'm not at a total loss tonight," Billy said as he racked up the balls for a game of pool and I put a CCR album on the stereo.
"Well, Jeff is a senior in high school and Jim is a junior. They were both in my Boy Scout troop. And I met some of Jeff's friends when I went to the Junior Prom last year."
"Whoa, there, faggot. You went to a prom? I thought you said you never dated girls."
"I didn't. But there was this junior girl Carole who sat next to me in history all year and we became friends. She asked me to her prom and I was flattered, plus I liked her and didn't want to offend her by refusing, so I went. She had a party at her house the week before so I could meet her friends that we'd be going with. Turns out Jeff was in her crowd. Then we went to the prom, and down to the Shore the next day. And that is my complete high school dating history."
Billy
After a simple, subdued, but civil supper with Mr. and Mrs. Stephens and Sue, we took the Mustang and drove over to Jeff and Jim's. I've got to admit, I'm crazy about that car. Danny drives it like he's part of it. I haven't had the nerve to tell him that I don't know how to drive. My high school didn't have Drivers' Ed and Pop wouldn't teach me. Besides, in the city, you can get around without a car. So I don't know how to drive and don't have a license. Which just adds to my fascination with Danny, watching him handle this powerful sporty car.
Most of the kids were already there, maybe 20 in all. Danny knew about half of them and introduced me around. Our arrival seemed to change the atmosphere of the party. Up until then, it was high school juniors and seniors. We were college men, and one was black, a real novelty in Livingston teen parties. Though they were all younger than us, they had somehow managed to build up a well-stocked bar.
As soon as I met Carole, I turned on the charm. I think maybe I thought of her as competition since she was the only other person Danny had dated. That made me stop and think. Is that what Danny and I are doing? Dating? I mean, we're living together, making love a few times a day. This party might actually be considered our first date.
Early on, I was standing next to Danny and 'Suite:Judy Blue Eyes' was blasting from the stereo.
"You, know, I'm still working on this whole white music scene, but I'll have to admit I agree with Crosby, Stills and Nash on one thing."
"And that is?"
I leaned in close and whispered in his ear, "You make it hard."
Danny turned beet red. "I don't think that's the way they meant it, pervert."
"Well, that's the way I take it, as often as I can."
Danny continued to glow as I noticed Carole crossing the room toward us.
"After a month of being a college man, you still blush more than anyone I've ever known, Danny. What are you two guys talking about that's so scandalous?"
"Hardons."
"Billy!!"
"Well, she asked."
"Sorry, Carole." He glared at me. "To paraphrase someone I once respected, you can take the boy out of the streets, but sometimes, you can't take the streets out of the boy."
"Don't be so uptight, Danny boy. I'm sure Carole has heard the word before. But, Carole, I'm sorry if my crude reply offended you."
"That's okay Billy. You're right. I have heard the word before, even said it a few times. You're refreshingly blunt and honest."
I could feel her warming up to me, maybe trying to come on to me. I didn't know if she was really attracted to me, maybe because I was so different, so black, so crude, or if she was just trying to make Danny jealous. Either way, it was uncomfortable.
"Hey, Danny, why don't we grab another beer and go see what's happening downstairs?"
"Sure, you haven't met some of my old friends yet."
The rest of the night wasn't as bad as I expected, and Danny's friends certainly treated me better than my friends had treated him. And Danny seemed to be enjoying himself. So I was kind of surprised when, a little after 11:00, he suggested we head home.
"It's early, white boy. And Saturday night. Why do you want to go?'
He hesitated for a second and looked around before whispering "Because it's your last chance to fuck a seventeen year old."
I know my mouth just dropped open. Over the past week, I'd never gotten him to say that word. And I knew he'd never said it before. But just hearing him say it in that context made me hard instantly.
He grabbed my arm. "Let's go."
We quickly said goodnight to everyone and headed back to his parents' house. We crept in quietly, since everyone was in bed and went to the rec room at the back of the house.
"Are you sure this is okay? I mean, I want to, but I don't want to get caught in the act."
"Sure. My parents wouldn't open the door without knocking or calling out first. We'll just keep the lights out and be as quiet as possible."
"You? Quiet? I'm surprised half the dorm hasn't heard you moaning every time my dick is up your ass."
"Well, I'll make a special effort."
Our paranoia led us to try a new position. Danny laid on his left side, facing the door. I laid behind him, spooning him. After lubing him up and a bit of finger play, I was able to slip my hard cock into him from the rear with no problem. This boy may be uptight in most situations but he sure has learned to relax in bed with me. I slowly began pumping in and out of his sweet white ass. Just the thought of it always turned me on so much-slim hips, pure white butt with rounded cheeks and such a hot tight hole. He started moving in rhythm with me, pressing back onto my dick as I pushed it into him. I put some lube on my right hand and reached around him and started stroking him. We got a good rhythm going and he wasn't making a sound. I was kissing and nibbling and sucking on the back of his neck. Just as I thought he was holding his breath to keep from moaning, I heard him gasp. His dick began pulsating, shooting cum over and over into the briefs he had bunched up in from of him to keep from messing up the bed. With each spurt, his hole tightened around my meat, sending me into an explosive orgasm. I grunted as my load shot deep up inside him.
We lay there trying to catch our breath for a minute, my dick still inside him. I looked at the clock and saw in the dim light it was 12:05.
"Happy Birthday, white boy. How does it feel to be a man?"
"You should remember from two days ago, but as long as you keep your dick inside me it feels great."
"Aren't we a bit obvious linked together this way?"
"Just pull the covers over us and no one can tell. I want to wake up with you inside me."
We slept late, and at some point in the night my dick had slipped out of his ass. We were awakened by a knocking at the door. We separated slightly and the door opened.
"Breakfast, boys."
We threw on some clothes and went out to join the family for some food. I was expecting pretty bland white food, but Mr. Stephens had done the cooking. His southern upbringing showed. His eggs, sausage, home fries and biscuits were every bit a good as Mama's.
Danny
So far my birthday was off to a great start. My parents were being especially nice, not only to me but to Billy. After a great old-fashioned southern breakfast cooked by Dad, Billy and I took turns showering and cleaning up. Then we gravitated back to the pool table. Billy was determined to learn its secret and beat me.
At the same time we went through my albums, deciding what to take back to the dorm.
"Pretty white, but not too bad. I draw the line at Tommy Roe, though."
"You don't like being dizzy? Or maybe I make you dizzy enough?"
"You do. Always. But that doesn't mean I'm going to listen to bubblegum."
"Okay, whatever you say, big boy."
"You mean that?" He had his usual smile/sneer going, but seemed serious.
"Of course. I know we're both totally new at this, but you seem to know more than I do about what we're going. So you're the boss."
"This may not be the time or place, but I think we need to talk about this relationship."
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, except last night at the party I suddenly realized that neither of us has any idea where we're going. I know I'm in love with you and you're in love with me, but beyond that, what? Straight relationships have rules, procedures, guidelines. A guy and girl meet, they start to date, maybe go steady, maybe fall in love. They get engaged, get married. But how does it work with guys? We seem to have jumped into a middle with no clear end."
"I guess once again, I haven't thought things through like you. I've just been enjoying every moment. We never really dated, unless you could call all of those nights hanging out together, going to the movies at Records Hall, eating together in the Commons dates. But maybe they were-dates without the pressure of dates."
"Maybe. But where are the rules, the guidelines? Are we supposed to make them up as we go along? There have got to be lots of other gay people around. How do they act? How do they live?"
"I don't know. I do know that I am not good at projecting into the future. I know I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. And that I want what we have had for the last week or so go on forever. I have no idea how that will work out, but I know I want it to."
"It's such a relief to hear you say that, because I want this to go on forever too, but don't know how, either."
We played a few more games of pool (I won all three, which annoyed Billy to no end), when it was time for my birthday dinner. Mom had made pot roast, my favorite. And afterward, they gave me my gift-cash. I know it seems crude to ask for money, but I've been living on an allowance of $10.00 a week, once books and school supplies had been paid for. Billy was making twice that with his art classes, though he didn't spend much. And with no more income from ushering the football games, I felt broke all the time. So a birthday present of $50.00 was more than I had hoped for. Then Billy went into the rec room for a second and came back with a gift-wrapped package. From the shape, it was obviously a record album.
I was so embarrassed. After all, I had forgotten to get him anything, yet he remembered to get me something. I ripped the wrapping off it. It was Billie Holiday, a 'best of' album.
"It's about time you learned that 'God Bless the Child' didn't start with Blood, Sweat and Tears."
On the train back to school, we talked a little bit more about us. It was clear that neither of us has any idea what gay relationships are and neither of us knows how to find out. So we're just going to wing it, loving each other the best we can, living our lives the best we can.
Oct. 7
Lucy
My God, these two keep me on edge. They've both interested me and attracted me since the day we met. And have confused and confounded me as well. They are beautiful people and good friends, I know that. I love them. They've got this special bond between them, yet they have each opened up to me and allowed me into their individual lives. I would love to go out with either of them, but not if it meant losing the friendship of the other. So I just enjoy hanging out with the two of them.
Tonight, we took the chartered bus into the city to see Hair. I have the original cast album and am in love with the music. In discussing it on the bus into the city, I learned that neither of them had heard the whole score. Both were familiar with the songs that had been released as singles and had become hits, but neither Billy nor Danny knew all the music or even the story behind the play.
They were both enthralled by the show, the music as well as the antiwar message. I knew they were both antiwar and pro-peace and love, though neither is much of a hippie. We were all having a great time until, shortly into the second act, a song began. It's called Black Boys/White Boys. The white girls in the cast sing about how black boys turn them on and then the black girls in the cast sing about how white boys turn them on. It's a cute song, but I thought Billy and Danny were going to die over it. They were both hysterical, practically rolling in the aisles, choking to keep from screaming at the lyrics. I know they tease each other by calling each other 'white boy' and 'black boy' so I figured that had something to do with it. But every time they even looked at each other throughout the rest of the play, they had to choke back laughter.
Once we were on the bus back to Douglass, I exploded. "Okay, you guys, I've had it. You're driving me crazy. You go through mood swings, snapping at each other, protecting each other, joking with each other, sharing inside jokes with each other. You're my friends and I love you and I hope you love me, but I feel left out here. What is going on?"
Billy looked at Danny. "Should we tell her?'
Danny looked uncertain. "I think we should but I don't know if I can."
"I think that settles it then," Billy said. "You should know. But that doesn't include the rest of the people on this bus. And by the time we get back to Douglass, we'll barely have time to catch the last campus bus across town to College Avenue. So, tomorrow after your last class, come over to our dorm. We really need to talk to a friend."
Oct. 8
Billy
Well, we'd committed ourselves. Tonight we would share our secret with another. It made sense. Lucy is our best friend, if anything she's more open-minded than either of us. Still, it's a big step. And there's no telling how people are gonna react to news like this.
"I think you're going to have to do the talking tonight, black boy."
"Me? Why does it always have to be me?"
"Because you're the one with experience. You told me you were gay. I've never told anyone, except you after you already knew. And don't forget, I'm the shy boy. And you're the one with balls."
"Shy, my ass. I know you have trouble talking to strangers and can be very quiet, but you always find a way to get what you want. And as far as balls go, I know from experience that yours are bigger than mine."
"Well, just the same, you start it tonight. Do the talking and I'll join in if I think I can. Just remember, she's our friend, but she may be hiding some romantic hopes and feelings toward one of us, so go easy. This could be as hard for her as it is for us."
"Speaking of hard^Å"
"Not now pervert, she'll be here any minute. Later, I'll do whatever you like, promise."
"I'll hold you to that. I'd hold you to anything, just so I can hold you."
Danny
I'm really scared to be telling someone else. But Lucy is Lucy, our best friend. If she were a guy, I wouldn't consider it. But, somehow, I think a girl might be better able to handle this news, be less threatened by it. Plus, as much as I love Billy and think I understand him, there is so much about him I can't figure out. He's got stuff locked up in his head that even he won't let out. Maybe it'll be nice to have someone I can talk to, someone who also cares about him. But that all depends on how she takes it, how understanding and open-minded she is. We're rolling the dice here, but I think we've got the odds in our favor.
Lucy
I love these guys but I can't believe they've put me through a day of torture like this. Promising to share their secret with me, clearing up my questions, but postponing it a day. God knows what happened in my classes today. All I could think of was Billy and Danny. But at least they seem to have figured out what they are going through and want to share it with me. I stood outside their door, took a few deep breaths, and knocked.
"Come on in."
I walked into the room and they both came towards me. They each put an arm around me and kissed me on opposite cheeks. So far, so good.
"Well, Senorita, I suppose you have been wondering why we have summoned you to our room tonight?"
"Billy, I know damn well why I'm here. You promised to explain what's been going on. And you've made me wait almost 24 hours. Now explain."
He took a deep breath and hesitated a second. So unlike him. " Okay. I won't beat around the bush and come right to the point." Another pause. "We've fallen in love."
I was stunned. Who? How? When? Where? All of the basic questions ran through my mind at once, with jealousy weaving all though them.
"But how? I mean, with whom? I've spent so much time with you and you've kept me pretty much up to date on the rest of your time. You've never even mentioned girls or dating. And when have you had a chance? I don't understand."
"C'mon, amiga. You're a bright girl. I'm sure you can put two and two and two together and get six."
"What do you mean? I'm lost here. This doesn't make sense."
"Okay, let's go step by step. First, we're in love. Second, there has never been any mention of any girls in our social calendar. Third, our reaction to that song in the play last night. Add it up."
"Maybe I am dumb. But I just don't get it."
"Shit! You are dumb! We're in love with each other! I'm in love with Danny and he's in love with me! Got it, girl?"
I was stunned. And couldn't believe it. No way. I'd never known any queers but these were two sexy guys. Not sissies, not fairies. And they were my friends. What kind of joke were they pulling on me?
"You're pulling my leg. What's going on, really?"
"You don't believe it? Danny?"
He motioned toward Danny who had been sitting quietly. Danny got up and walked over to Billy. They wrapped their arms around each other and began one of the most passionate kisses I've ever seen. Shocked as I was, it was sexy beyond belief, and surprisingly turned me on. These two guys, the second their lips touched, were completely oblivious to anything and everything around them. They just melted into each other, totally wrapped up in the moment.
While their kiss couldn't have been very long, I swept through an array of emotions. Shock, dismay, jealousy, envy.
'So, girl, think you've got it now?"
"Wow, I would have never guessed. I've never known any quee.., uh, um, gay guys before. You really had me fooled."
I felt like an ass. Here I'd been hot after both of them and they were doing it with each other all along. Probably laughing at me and my ignorance.
Finally, Danny spoke up. "No, Lucy, we never tried to fool you. We just realized it ourselves a couple of weeks ago. Remember the blow-ups we had? We were both having trouble dealing with our feelings."
"Danny's right. We almost blew our friendship apart, because we each couldn't acknowledge how we felt. But as soon as we did, we wanted to tell you, but were afraid. We'd never told anyone, even each other, and you are someone who really matters to us. We needed time to get used to the idea."
I thought about that a minute. It all fell into place. Everything I'd noticed about them from the day I met them. Everything that didn't make sense about them but seemed so right.
"Actually, though I'm still in a bit of shock about all of this, I think this may be a good thing. Ever since we met, I've been attracted to you both. I've liked you both so much. And I've been expecting one of you to ask me out. And I worried about how that would affect my friendship with the other, and how that would affect your friendship. So this may actually be a good thing for all of us. I may have lost two potential lovers, but I have kept two incredible friends. Plus, now I can have amazing fantasies thinking about the two of you doing the most unspeakable things to each other."
"We don't do unspeakable things to each other. We do wonderful things to each other. And we'll tell you all about them if you like."
"No, we won't, Billy. Some things are private."
"I'm just kidding, white boy."
This might really take some getting used to. Though I realized that it might actually work for me. Something I had been thinking about for a while might actually be a possibility now.
"There's something I've been thinking of asking you guys for, as a favor. And now that there's no sexual tension between us, maybe we could do it."
"Now you're the one being vague and mysterious."
"I don't mean to be. It's just that I've loved taking pictures of you since I first saw you. You're like twins of different races. Yes, Danny is a little smaller, and your facial features are a bit different, but you are built so much the same, but so different in complexion. Similar composition, but contrasting colors. Would you consider modeling for me?"
"What do you mean? We've been letting you take our pictures for weeks. You must have dozens of them."
"I think she means what I do in art class, naïve white boy."
"He's right, Danny. I'd like you both to do some nude modeling for me. I've never had a chance to do nudes, and Billy is used to it from the art classes, so would you let me try?"
"You mean like porn? Us together, doing things?"
"Calm down, nino. I mean more like close-ups of body parts, so close up you may not even know what parts they are. But something white and something black in each shot. I'm thinking more in terms of contrasts in shapes and colors, in the flesh. Maybe some full frontal nudity. And just knowing you, I don't doubt that there will be lots of sensuality in the shots that aren't close-ups. But that's not the focus of what I'm looking for."
"I've never been naked in front of a girl before. I don't know if I could do it."
"Sure you could, white boy. I'd be right there with you to make you feel comfortable and at ease."
"Well, maybe. I'm not promising I could do it. When and where were you thinking we could do this?"
"Next Wednesday is the Moratorium against the war. No classes, just teach-ins, the march, the rally. I'm sure the photo studio is available all day. We can march and go to the rally and still have some time in the studio. I'll see if I can schedule it."