This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.
I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments, suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty Six. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
November 1974
Charles
Danny was wrong about the worst being over at school. Those who hadn't heard the news in the first couple of days found out over the weekend. By Monday morning I was officially an outcast. When I arrived I was relieved to see that the front of my locker had been repainted over the weekend but that was the only good news for the rest of the day. Absolutely no one talked to me. Kids stared and even avoided passing close to me in the halls. In the cafeteria at lunchtime I filled my tray with food and then stood and looked around for an empty table as far as possible from Doug and his friends. When I sat at the end of one table the two guys at the other end got up, picked up their trays and moved. Gym class was worse. No one would even come into my section of the locker room while I was there. They all kept their towels tightly wrapped around their waists while changing. I did us all a favor and waited until they were all done before I went to the showers even though it made me late to my next class. All day I felt like crying. I don't know how I made it through.
As soon as my last class was over I headed to the history department office to see Danny. Normally we didn't see much of each other at school but I really needed to see a friendly face. I must have looked as bad as I felt because he got up and hugged me as soon as I walked into the office.
"Oh God, it was so hard, Danny. I don't think I can stand it."
"I'm sorry, Charles. I know it must be hard. Just try to put up with it. It's got to get better sooner or later."
"I don't know if I can. Right now everybody's just avoiding me. What if they start hassling me?"
"If anyone bothers you come to me right away and I'll see if the administration can do something about it."
"Thanks, but I don't think that will help. Everybody would just think I was a wimp who couldn't take care of himself."
"Yeah, I know what you mean, I suppose. I think I was seen as a bit of a wimp in high school, though at least no one knew I was gay. Just hang on. We'll get you through this somehow."
The next couple of days it didn't get any better. Now and then someone passing me in the hall called me a faggot but other than that I was ignored. At the end of each day I stopped by Danny's office for a little moral support before going home. Thursday afternoon I was passing the football field on the way home from school when a couple of big brothers stepped out from behind the bleachers. I started around them but they moved to block me and started calling me names. I began to panic. It was just like that day last January where Billy saved me but I knew Billy wasn't coming to my rescue this time. My first thought was to turn around and run. I'm pretty fast but I get tired quickly and I was sure they'd catch me before I got back to the school. They started shoving me around and my books fell to the ground.
"Leave him alone!"
All three of us turned. Keith was trotting toward us.
"What's it to you, bro? You like faggots?"
"He's my friend, asshole. Let him be."
"Never figured you for a queer-lover, Keith. Or maybe he's takin' care of you?"
"Better watch what you say and get out of here while you've still got your balls."
The two guys gave me a look of disgust and turned to leave.
"Maybe next time your boyfriend won't be there to rescue you, faggot."
I think I had been holding my breath since Keith had shown up. I let it out as the two guys walked off.
"Thank God you came along, Keith. I was sure they had me. Does this mean we're still friends?"
"Jury's still out on that, Charles. I've heard what Doug's been sayin' about you but I'm not makin' up my mind until I hear your side."
"Thanks for giving me that much, Keith. How about coming over to my place so we can talk? Unless you don't want to be seen with me, that is."
"You know I don't give a shit what people think of me. Let's go."
When we got home Keith came up to my room with me so we could talk. I wasn't sure he'd be okay with that but he didn't object. He took the chair by my desk so I sat on the bed.
"So what happened between you and Doug?"
"Look, Keith, I don't think it's right for me to talk about what went down between me and Doug but I can tell you that I never forced myself on him. I would never have tried to take advantage of him, especially when he was high."
"You're being a lot more fair to him than he was to you, Charles. It sounds to me like something happened but that it was pretty mutual. Does this mean that you are gay?"
"Yeah, Keith, I am. Does that mean you don't want to be my friend anymore?"
"I don't see why that should make a difference, bro, long as you aren't thinking of makin' a move on me."
"Don't worry, Keith, you're not my type."
He looked offended.
"What do you mean? I think I'm pretty hot. What's wrong with me? You not into brothas?"
I assumed he was kidding but I couldn't be sure.
"Race really doesn't have much to do with it except that I'm usually more comfortable around other black guys. There's nothing wrong with you, Keith. You are hot. I just seem to be more attracted to guys who are around my size."
"I guess that works out pretty good for us then. No sexual tension to get in the way."
"Yeah, this is great. You have no idea how much I need a friend at school right now."
"With all this shit I'll bet you've had a pretty rough week."
We talked a little about the isolation I'd been feeling all week.
"You have fourth period lunch, don't you, Charles?"
"Yeah, same as Doug, Why?"
"I have lunch fifth period but I'm in study hall fourth. Maybe I can switch."
"That would be fantastic. Thanks."
"No problem. And I'll talk to my friends and let them know that Doug is full of shit. I can't promise they'll want to be buddies with you but at least they'll leave you alone once they know I'm still your friend."
After Keith left I smiled for the first time in a week. Maybe things would work out okay after all.
Danny
I wished I had been able to do more to help Charles through his coming out at school but I suppose just being there was something. One positive side effect of his stopping by the office every day after school was that Mike Romano and I started talking about more personal stuff. He took an interest in Charles' situation and discussed it with me.
"The more I get to know you the more impressed I am, Dan. You look young enough to be one of my students yet not only are you a good teacher but you have all of this other responsibility in your life and you handle it so well. You have quite a household. What do your parents think of all of this?"
"Actually, Mike, you've found my Achilles heel. My parents don't approve of my life at all. We haven't spoken in several years."
He was quiet for a minute.
"You've only had Charles since early this year and Tyler and Jason are both babies. So when you say they don't approve you must be talking about your roommate, Billy. Is it your orientation or him personally that they disapprove of?"
I knew that this would eventually come up and from Mike's attitude I wasn't worried. That didn't mean I was especially looking forward to discussing Billy with him, however. I was somewhat relieved to get it out in the open but didn't want to get too much into it.
"A little of each, I think. They pretty much seemed to blame my orientation on Billy."
"And you haven't spoken to them since? How long has it been?"
"Nearly five years, Mike. "
"You should give them another chance, Dan. As one of their generation I can tell you it's not something that people my age easily understand or accept. It takes time."
"They've had plenty of time. They know that it's always been up to them. I made it clear to them that when they were ready we could talk. I thought they'd get used to the idea after a while but I've given up. It hasn't been easy."
I really didn't want to go any further with this. Billy and I rarely talked to those closest to us about this. Even Lucy and Mark didn't know everything we'd been through. It was odd that shifting the conversation to talking just about me being gay seemed the easy way out.
"So how long have you known about me, Mike?"
"From your first interview, Dan. I immediately recognized you from seeing you and Billy all over town over the last few years. You two are pretty noticeable even when you aren't holding hands or kissing, both of which you were doing that first time I saw you in the supermarket. I'd never seen that here in town before, or anywhere else, actually."
"And you hired me anyway?"
"Well, I wasn't the one who did the hiring although I did recommend that you be hired. I took an instant liking to you at the interview and also liked your philosophy toward teaching. Besides, with that letter from Connie Harris I would have approved you without an interview. I have the highest regard for her judgment and she obviously thinks the world of you."
"Yeah, she's a pretty special lady. I love her a lot. She's always been there for us."
Billy
Danny kept me up to date on what was happening with Charles at school. Charles talked to me about it too but I was glad he had Danny at school every day, even if Danny couldn't do much other than listen and give advice.
One night we had just climbed into bed when Danny was talking about trying to help Charles.
"I know some of the kids are still hassling him but he doesn't want me to talk to the administration about it. He just wants to tough it out himself. I hate to see him have to put up with that crap."
"I know you want to help, Dan, but some things a guy has to handle by himself. No kid wants his mommy to fight his battles for him."
"Hey, what do you mean, mommy?"
"Well, I'm obviously his daddy so what does that make you?"
Danny jumped up, spun around and landed sitting on me, straddling my hips. He leaned forward, putting a hand on each of my shoulders, pinning me to the mattress.
"I'll show you who's the mommy and who's the daddy here."
"Yeah, promises, promises. You're all talk, white boy."
Danny was sitting on my dick and began grinding his ass on it, making me hard in an instant. I looked down and saw that he was hard himself.
"I hate to tell you, Danny, but wiggling your butt like that isn't terribly butch. I don't think you're making the point you want to make."
"You want to see me make my point, Billy? Watch this."
Danny abruptly shifted position again and he was kneeling between my thighs. In a flash he grabbed the lube and slicked up his pole, lifted my legs and pinned them against my chest. I felt him press the head of his dick against my hole.
"Get my point now?"
I looked up at him and gave him my best sneer.
"Not yet, I don't. Sure you're man enough for the job?"
In answer he gave a sharp thrust forward with his hips. I gasped as he penetrated me. With that one quick move he was half buried in me. He stopped for a few seconds and looked down at me with a sweet smile on his lips. He pushed hard once again and I was totally impaled on his rod. I looked up into his face and saw the sweet smile had been replaced with an evil grin. He began pumping into to me hard, slamming against me with all of his weight. Usually when Danny made love to me he was very gentle but this time he was putting everything he had into each thrust. I got into the spirit of things and got very vocal in urging him on. I reached around and grabbed his ass cheeks and pulled him into me, helping him with each thrust.
He continued to fuck even harder than before. He was really slamming into me when I saw him begin to tense up. With one final violent thrust he pushed all the way up inside me and began to shoot. Even before he finished he grabbed my dick and began pumping it in his fist. Just as I felt the surge well up in me he pulled out of my ass and bent over, swallowing my dick in one gulp, sucking my juice out of me. When he'd sucked me dry he lay down on me and we both gasped trying to catch our breath.
"Who's the daddy now, black boy?" he panted.
"You are, Danny, whenever you want."
Lucy
With the noise Billy and Danny make some nights while making love we might as well all be sleeping in the same room. At first it was a little embarrassing but after I'd been living in the house a few months I was pretty used to it. It wasn't every night, after all. I'm sure they made love most nights but it was only now and then they got carried away.
Saturday morning I was up early and had made breakfast and was breastfeeding Jason when Charles walked into the kitchen. He blushed when he saw me. I know, with his dark complexion it wasn't so easy to tell; it was more an expression than a change in color.
"You've got to get over this, Charles. It's only a breast and feeding a baby is a perfectly natural occurrence in life. Besides, Jason pretty much covers it up and it's not like you're into breasts, anyway."
"Yeah, I know, Lucy. It's just that I'm kind of modest and get embarrassed easily."
"Hmm, I think I know just the thing to get you over that modesty. How would you like to do some modeling for me?"
"Modeling? You mean like fashion models? I don't have much of a wardrobe."
"Your wardrobe won't make any difference, Charles. Finish up your oatmeal and I'll show you what I have in mind. Do you know if Billy and Danny are up yet? They're usually down by now."
'Yeah, I heard their shower running when I passed their room."
"They may be awhile, then. It's a wonder they're up at all with the workout they had last night."
Charles blushed again.
"Yeah, they sure were wild. Is sex really that good, Lucy? I mean, I have very little experience and I like it so far but I never felt anything like that."
"Well, Charles, sex is usually good. Sometimes it's great. I've gone wild myself more than a few times. And you have to keep in mind how much the guys love each other. That makes it infinitely better."
"I can't wait until I feel something like that."
The guys came down with Tyler just as Charles and I were finishing our breakfast. Charles took Jason and we went into the sunroom where I pulled out a few albums that contained the pictures I'd taken of Billy, Danny and Mark in their first sessions.
"Oh my God, they're naked, Lucy."
"Yes, Charles, that was the point. Don't act so shocked. You've seen that framed enlargement hanging in their room, the one where they're facing each other with toes, fingers, noses and penises touching."
"Yeah, but that one is so arty you almost don't even think of them as being naked. Some of these are like porn. Damn, you shouldn't have shown me these. I've always thought they were great looking but they are so sexy in the nude."
"Stop drooling, Charles. Remember that they're you're foster parents. Here, maybe you should look at Mark's pictures instead."
"Wow, he's really hot, too, though he's built a little bigger than most guys I'm attracted to. And speaking of bigger, look at his dick! I thought white guys were supposed to have small ones."
"You've got to stop thinking in terms of stereotypes, Charles. That's a form of prejudice, you know."
"Yeah, I know, Lucy. I guess I'll just have to get some more practical experience to break down my misconceptions."
Billy walked into the room carrying Tyler.
"So what are you guys talking about?"
"White dicks and black dicks."
"Charles! Just ignore him, Billy. That's only hormones talking. I was just showing him the shots I took of you guys when you modeled for me your freshman year."
Danny walked in and picked up one of the albums.
"Gosh, this takes me back. We look like little kids in these pictures."
"Yeah, but sexy little kids, Dan. So why are you showing them to Charles. Wasn't our lovemaking last night loud enough, Luce? You trying to torture the poor boy?"
"Yeah, with all that noise last night you should talk about torture. What was Danny doing to you, anyway? No, don't answer that. I know all I want to. I got these out because I want Charles to model for me."
"Me?" Charles actually squeaked. "Naked? In front of you, Lucy? No way I could do that."
"It's not that bad, Charles. Billy had no problem with it but I wasn't sure I could do it. After the first few minutes you forget you're naked. It's a great way to get over being modest."
"Yeah, and it's fun if you're an exhibitionist like Billy, though I think he got off more on the live audience in the art classes."
I knew I'd opened up a new can of worms as soon as I mentioned the art classes. The boys explained one of the ways they'd made money in college. Charles just sat there staring with his mouth hanging open.
"You had to get all of that nudity out of your system before you met me? You couldn't have saved some of it for now that I'm around to see it?"
Danny
The week before Thanksgiving we were all having dinner over at Aunt Connie's house and Billy and I were talking shop. We tried not to talk about school too much but teaching was still new to us so we found it exciting. Billy was especially worked up about the new black lit course he and June were teaching.
"June's got the first half of the year, covering some of the older, more traditional writers. I'm going to be teaching works from some more recent writers, starting with Richard Wright, including Baldwin, of course. I just can't include any of his stuff with gay themes. They've also made it clear I have to avoid some of the more radical current writers though they made an exception for Baraka."
"Who's he, Billy? I've read some of Wright and Baldwin but I don't think I know him."
"You probably know him as LeRoi Jones, Aunt Connie. He changed his name a few years ago."
"Oh, right, the poet. He's from Newark, isn't he?"
"Yeah, I think that's why they're allowing him in the curriculum."
"Hearing you talk about the course almost make me wish I was still at Central High so I could take it, Billy. Almost."
"No reason you can't read the books on your own, Charles. I could go over them with you if you like."
'Yeah, I think I'd like that."
An idea I'd had a few days earlier popped into my head.
"Aunt Connie, what would you think about inviting Mike Romano to Thanksgiving dinner? He and I have been getting to be friends lately though he still seems sad most of the time. From what you said he hasn't got any family locally so I thought maybe he'd like to spend the holiday with us. Now that he knows I'm gay that wouldn't be a problem."
"That's a sweet idea, Danny. He'd probably enjoy it and I'd love to spend some time with him. Our paths don't cross much at school."
"Some holiday it's going to be for me. A whole house full of teachers."
"Oh, c'mon, Charles. You like Mr. Romano."
"Yeah, Danny, I do, but he's my history teacher. I already had to transfer out of your class and I can't take Spanish with Aunt Connie. I'm gonna be running out of teachers soon."
In spite of Charles' reservations the holiday dinner was one of our best. Mark's parents had invited him for dinner but he promised to stop in later for dessert to tell us how it went. After dinner we put the boys down for their nap and Charles helped Lucy in the kitchen. They were mostly just putting the leftovers away and getting the pots and pans soaking. Billy and I made them promise to leave the actual dishwashing for us to do later.
The rest of us adjourned to the living room for after dinner drinks. Aunt Connie and Mike sat at opposite ends of the couch in the living room. Billy and I snuggled on the loveseat. Mike raised his eyebrows when Billy put his arm around me but then smiled.
"So how is Paul doing, Mike? Have you heard from him lately?"
"Yes, Connie, I talked to him this morning. He's fine, I suppose. His job is going well."
"You must miss him terribly. It's hard to be so far apart, especially on holidays."
"Yes, he was my whole world for so long, now I never see him." His voice seemed to crack and he gulped his drink. "Of course, it's my own fault."
"Your fault, Mike? Aunt Connie said he lives in San Francisco. That's not your fault."
"No, Dan, that's true. He went to school out there and fell in love with the city. But it's my fault that we're not still close."
"Distance will do that. No one is to blame."
"It's more than that, Connie." Mike looked at his empty glass. "Could I have a refill, Bill?"
"Sure, no problem." Billy took his glass into the dining room and returned a minute later. Mike took a sip and looked right at Billy and me.
"You see, fellows, I'm quite sure my son is gay. He's never actually said so, but I think he tried to tell me a long time ago."
"What makes you think that?"
"Lots of little things, Dan. When he was in college we were still close. He wrote me every week, telling me everything he and his friends did. They'd go into San Francisco on the weekend and explore, discovering many 'bohemian' places, some of them obviously gay bars from his description."
"That doesn't mean he's gay, especially if he was with a bunch of kids from school."
"No, but there's more. His senior year he came home for Christmas and told me he was going to stay out there. He tried to explain what attracted him to that area and what good friends he and his roommate had become. After he graduated the two of them got an apartment in the city. Again, he tried to tell me how close he and his friend were. It was so obvious he wanted to tell me something but he was having trouble saying it. Every time he got close I changed the subject. I just didn't want to hear it. You have to understand I was raised in a very conservative Catholic Italian home. I loved him so much and didn't want that kind of life for him. After a while I think he realized that I didn't want to know so he stopped trying to tell me."
Mike took another sip of his drink and just sat there for a minute. We were all quiet, expecting him to go on.
"Does he still live with the same friend?"
"I'm not sure, Connie. Isn't that a horrible thing to have to admit? Our communication really broke down after that. There were fewer and fewer phone calls and letters, and most of them were about his job, or trips he'd taken, or shows he'd seen. Nothing personal at all. He got my hints and learned not to share his personal life with me, all right. So now Paul and I are practically strangers. I so wanted him to be happy and now I don't even know if he is. I do know that I am not. I'd give anything to have him back the way things once were with us."
"How about trying again, Mike, now that you've changed your point of view? You urged me to give my parents another chance not long ago."
"I think maybe I was talking to Paul through you, Dan. I was wishing Paul would give me another chance. But I don't know how to talk to him any more."
"Why don't you use us, Mike? Tell him about your dinner here, about our household. Let him know how comfortable you are with our being gay."
"Maybe that would work, Billy, but our conversations haven't gone so well lately. It's funny, now I'm the one trying to bring up the subject and he's the one who keeps changing it. I guess I did too good a job at shutting the door."
"How about this, Mike? Use Billy's idea but put it in a letter. That way you can say everything you want to and he can't change the subject. And you can end it by telling him how much you love him, that you miss the kind of relationship you two had when he was younger and letting him know he can always come to you with anything."
"That might work, Dan. It couldn't hurt, at any rate. I'll give it a try."