This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.
I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments, suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty Six. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
July 1974
Danny
As we got further into the summer and I still had no idea what I'd be doing in the fall I started to freak out a little bit. I'd been quickly accepted into grad school at Rutgers so that was at least something to fall back on but I was thinking of that as a last resort. Not that grad school was a bad thing, but it would cost money and being a TA wouldn't pay enough to even cover my expenses. Besides, I wasn't looking forward to that long commute to New Brunswick by myself. For three years Billy and I had done it together every day but doing it alone would make it seem twice as long. Besides, I was pretty sure our car wouldn't survive the year if I had to put that kind of mileage on it again.
I'd been on interviews at a couple of high schools. Englewood seemed the most promising but that was all the way up by the George Washington Bridge, nearly an hour away, almost as long a commute as Rutgers. I really wanted to find something closer to home, especially with the new baby due next month. I was holding my breath waiting to hear from Morristown High. The interview went well with the principal. Aunt Connie had told me she was pretty liberal but I still didn't come out to her. I didn't want to take any chances. My references from Chatham were better than I'd hoped for so I didn't have to get into details about why I was changing schools. My reviews were excellent. Dr. Swanson's letter was pretty perfunctory but he had allowed my department head to write a personal recommendation. Since she had no idea I was gay and had come to like me in spite of my being an unwed father she wrote a good letter.
I'd started working weekends as a waiter at Rod's as soon as the school year ended. Even though we wouldn't start feeling the pinch until September I figured it wouldn't hurt to get a little extra money in the bank. The tips weren't as good as at The Restaurant and the work wasn't as much fun but it was only a couple of miles from home so commuting took no time at all.
One afternoon, Billy and I were working in the garden and discussing my prospects.
"When did Morristown say they'd let you know, babe?"
"They didn't. They still had a couple of other people to interview but since school is starting in six weeks I assume they'll have to make a decision soon."
"I'm sure you'll get it, Danny. You're a good teacher and you make a good impression. Your interviews went well, didn't they?"
"I suppose. The one with the principal was good. I'm not sure about the meeting with the department head. Mr. Romano was nice enough but he was such a stuffy old guy and was so serious. He seemed impressed with my paperwork but I'm a little worried that he might be aware that I'm gay."
"Why would you think that? Did he say anything?"
"Nothing specific, but he mentioned that I looked familiar, that he thought he'd seen me around town. Normally, people don't notice me much. I'm kind of quiet, average looking and tend to blend in. What they do notice is the two of us together. Even if we're not being affectionate and obvious we're still an unusual looking pair. And while we haven't exactly flaunted it you have to admit that we haven't always tried to hide our relationship around town."
"Well, don't worry about it. There's nothing you can do about it at this point anyway. Whether you get a job or end up back in school we'll get by."
"Are you sure, Billy? The medical bills for Lucy and the baby are going to wipe out our savings next month. I can't imagine us being able to get by on just one paycheck. Maybe I should talk to Wayne about working at The Restaurant part-time in the fall."
"If it comes to that I think it would be a better idea for you to stick with Rod's. No point in putting all that time into commuting into the city."
"I know Rod's is more practical but I'm just not as comfortable there. At The Restaurant I never felt like we were servants or 'the help'. We were professionals doing our job. Yeah, now and then some arrogant queen tried to act superior but usually everybody treated me as an equal. At Rod's, I don't feel like that. I've actually been called 'boy' now and then. And it was so humiliating that night one of my students from Chatham came in with her parents and I had to serve her. "
"I know what you mean, Danny. The gay community does seem a little less class-conscious most of the time. Maybe sex is the great equalizer. Anyway, let's not worry about that before we have to."
"I keep thinking about my old savings account. If only we had that money it would make things so much easier. It would give us a bit of a cushion."
"I know you've given up on re-establishing a relationship with your parents but that is your money, Danny. You could track them down and insist that they give it to you. At this point they can't possibly think that holding onto it is going make you go back to them."
"No, but it could turn out to be a nasty confrontation and I don't think I could deal with that, Billy."
"Then how about this? We find out where they are and get Clay to write them a letter as your attorney. That way they'll know you're serious but you don't have to confront them personally."
"I don't know. That seems so cold."
"I don't believe it. After what they've put you through you worry about being cold to them?"
"Okay, Billy. I'll think about it. But only if there's no other way."
Mark
I left the restaurant around midnight one Friday night and found Joe hanging around out front.
"Hey, what's up? What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you. I haven't seen you in ages. It's been way too long."
"Yeah, I think the last time we ran into each other was that time in Julius' last winter. Want to go over there for a drink?"
"How about Carr's? It's quieter there."
"That's because it's a wrinkle room. Everybody there is so old. I'll bet there's never been anyone under forty in the place."
"Oh, it's not that bad, Mark. A friend of mine tends bar there. He says it's a good place to talk. And older guys shouldn't put you off. You're waited on lots of them at The Restaurant."
"Yeah, I know. I didn't mean anything by that. The older guys I've met are mostly nice. It's just that a place like that isn't what springs to mind when I think of a fun night out."
We walked over to the bar. All eyes turned toward us when we walked in. I was right-the youngest guy on our side of the bar looked older than my father. Joe went up to the bar and got us drinks from a cute young bartender while I grabbed a table near the back.
"So how's single life, Mark?"
"Mostly just that, Joe. Single. Between school and work I don't have much time for dating and you know I'm not much into tricking."
"Yeah, we're a lot alike in that way. We're both relationship kind of guys. Are you doing okay with being on your own?"
"Actually, I'm doing better than I thought I would. Keeping busy helps. So does living near Billy, Danny, Lucy and Aunt Connie. You can't get down for too long around them. They just won't let you."
"They're good people. You're lucky to have them in your life. I wish I could see more of the guys."
"They're pretty busy themselves these days what with Charles and Tyler and the new baby due soon. It's like living in a big extended family."
"Sounds like I'm missing a lot. I'll have to get out to see everyone soon. So I guess you're doing fine. Jamie was worried about you."
"Jamie? When did you talk to him?"
"He calls now and then and stops by whenever he comes into the city. I think he's still holding out hope that I'll end up his brother-in-law."
"Yeah, he did take to you right from the start. The boy has good taste in men for a straight guy."
"He's a sweetheart and loves you a lot, Mark. He was worried about going off to college in September and leaving you."
"I'm going to miss him. He and I have become so close this past year but it's odd to have my little brother looking out for me. It should be the other way around."
"I'm sure you take care of him as well, Mark. No good relationship is all one-way."
"So how are you doing, Joe? Seeing anyone? Maybe you and I could go out sometime. Just to make Jamie happy, you know."
"He'd like that, I'm sure. Under other circumstances so would I. Actually, I'm seeing someone right now. That's him behind the bar. Jerry and I have been going together for a few months."
I tried not to let my disappointment show but don't think I succeeded.
"That's great, Joe. He looks like a real stud. I wish the two of you luck."
"Thanks, Mark. You know, a part of me will always love you. For what was only supposed to be a summer fling we had something pretty special."
"I feel the same way. Of course, you were my first, so that alone made it special for me, but it was more than that."
"I hope you know that if you ever need a friend I'll be there for you."
"Yeah, I realize that, Joe. The same goes for you. Too bad we met at the wrong time. We connected on so many levels, I think."
"Yes, we did, Mark. We still do. We just have lousy timing."
Charles
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how my life would turn out this year. Not that I've ever allowed myself to have many dreams. Being bounced around from one foster home to another my whole life I learned not to expect much. I thought it was bad when I was little, not having a real family, never belonging, but it got so much worse as I grew older. I'm sure some of the foster parents did care. I remember a couple, anyway. But when I was little I think most of them just looked at me as a check from the state to supplement their income. As I got older, I was an unpaid babysitter for their own kids and unpaid help around the house. A couple of my foster parents were abusive, more verbally than physically, and some of the other kids in the households made things pretty rough for a little shy guy like me.
Being queer didn't help things any. I never told anyone but some people just seemed to figure it out. It's not like I was effeminate or anything. I'd paid a lot of attention to how I talked and moved so I wouldn't give anything away but it didn't seem to do any good.
By the time I got to Central High I'd pretty much given up on life. I just went through the motions every day, trying to stay out of trouble. It was almost like I was waiting for something, or at least waiting for the current situation to be over. I had no idea what I was waiting for, though. I tried not to think about what my life would be when I was grown. Some of the other foster kids I'd lived with talked about nothing else, about how they'd take charge of their life when they turned eighteen, how great it would be when they could do what they wanted with no foster parents and no state to tell them what to do. As much as I hated my life in foster care I couldn't see anything after that. No parents, no home, no job training, no money from the state. Nothing. College wasn't even a thought.
Then I walked into English class and saw Mr. Matthews. Up until then nearly all of my teachers were either women or old, boring men. Mr. Matthews was a hot young dude. I spent most of the first class hard. Not only was he sexy, he was actually excited about words and books. I'd always loved reading. It was my one escape from the real world. I thought it was just one more thing that made me a nerd but he was really into English and no one could say he wasn't cool.
I had something to look forward to at school for the first time-English class. I got so that I spoke up now and then, at first answering to some of Mr. Matthews' questions, but then I even started offering an opinion here and there and talking to Mr. Matthews after class. Then those guys from West Side caught up with me after school and attacked me like they used to last year. I was afraid they were going to kill me but Mr. Matthews showed up and saved me.
I felt so guilty after that. He had been hurt really bad rescuing me. He wouldn't have had to if I wasn't queer and I was sure he'd be sorry he did if he found out. Instead he came to my rescue again when the state was going to send me away. Even so, I had mixed emotions when I went to live with him. I just didn't know what to expect.
By then I practically worshipped him. He had assured me that he and Danny didn't want anything from me and I wanted to believe him but I couldn't still quite let myself trust him. No one had ever given me something without wanting something in return before. And forget about Danny, there was no way I'd believe anything a white guy told me.
And yet they were exactly what they appeared to be. Two decent guys who just wanted to help me. It took me a while to believe that, especially in Danny's case, but after just a few months they were family to me more than any foster home I'd been in.
I started working at the A&P as soon as school ended. It was the first job I'd ever had and it really didn't amount to much-mostly stocking the shelves and collecting carts in the parking lot. It only paid minimum wage but it was so exciting to get my first paycheck.
I thought that maybe I should give the check to Billy and Danny since it looked like they were going to need the money and I really wanted to contribute something to my new family. The guys insisted I open a savings account for college with it so they took me to the bank. The account was in my name with Billy as the trustee. When we got home I just sat staring at my bankbook.
"So what is a trustee for?"
"It means that because you're underage you can't take money out of the account yourself. I'm the only one who can do that."
"So you turned me down when I offered you my check but now you have it anyway?"
"No, it's not like that, Charles. The money is yours. I'm just the one responsible for it, just like I'm responsible for you."
"So I guess I just have to trust you, don't I?"
"Yeah, I think you can trust me. I'm not gonna steal your money."
Danny had been quiet ever since we were at the bank. He got up and left the room without a word.
"What's with him? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, it's not your fault, Charles. We'll tell you about it someday. Right now I think I'll go talk to Danny, though. Put your bank book someplace in your room where you won't lose it."
The best part of working wasn't the money, though. It was finally a chance for me to meet kids in town. I'd been living here for months but going to school in Newark so I didn't know anybody my age. There were a couple of guys from the high school working with me. There was a black kid named Keith and a white guy named Doug who were in my grade at school. They were both kind of tough looking; the kind of guys who would have picked on me or at the very least ignored me at school. Being forced to spend a lot of time working together every day worked to my advantage, though. It gave us time to get to know one another. After a couple of weeks I was relaxed enough around them to be able to join in their conversations and they had gotten to know me well enough to accept me as an equal, or close to it. While it didn't look like we were going to be buddies at least I'd know someone when school started in the fall.
August 1974
Lucy
The past month this kid was showing me that he or she really was Billy's. Lots of kicking and punching, twisting and turning. This was one hell of an aggressive baby. While it had never really made a difference to me I was beginning to hope it was a boy. If it was a girl I was thinking we'd have to name her Frankie. While I wasn't looking forward to the delivery I was beginning to look forward to the end of the pregnancy. I just hoped the baby would be a bit calmer in the outside world.
Wednesday afternoon we were all out on the patio after lunch. Danny was lying in the hammock with Tyler. Billy and I were both reading. The baby gave a sharp kick that made me grunt.
"That wasn't a very lady-like sound, Luce."
"Just wait until we're in the delivery room, Billy. You'll hear lots of unfeminine sounds."
"Yeah, Danny told me all about it. Don't worry. Between Danny's advice and the Lamaze classes I think I'm all ready."
"Well, that's a comfort. As long as you're prepared I guess I have nothing to worry about."
We went back to our reading until another kick actually made me yell out loud. Both Danny and Billy jumped. Even Tyler turned his head toward me.
"Damn, Luce, that was a nasty one."
"Tell me about it, Billy. Except I don't think that was a kick. That felt an awful lot like a contraction. I think this might be it."
"No way, Lucy, you're not due for two more weeks."
"Tell that to the baby, Danny. No need to panic, though. Let's just wait and see if another one comes along in a few minutes."
Sure enough another even stronger contraction hit me fifteen minutes later.
"Okay, boys. This is it. Time to get moving, I think."
The boys went into action. Billy started toward the house.
"I'll go get the suitcase. Danny, help Lucy to the car."
"Whoa, slow down, guys. We've got plenty of time. First, I've got to call the doctor. One of you can get the suitcase. The other go next door and leave a note for Aunt Connie so when she gets home from her matinee in the city she can go to the hospital. You might want to tell Mark, too."
Both boys went next door while I called Dr. Post. After the call I wrote a note for Charles. He was at work at the A&P until five. Danny and Mark walked in just as I was finishing. Mark went upstairs for my bag. Another sharp pain hit just as Billy walked in.
"C'mon, everybody, no time to waste. Let's get moving!"
We all went out to the boys' car, which was parked behind mine in the driveway. Mark took Tyler from Danny and climbed into the back seat next to Billy. Danny helped me into the front seat, then ran around to the driver's side. He jumped in, started the engine and then seemed to be struggling with the gearshift.
"Take it easy, Danny. Are you sure you're okay to drive?"
"I'm fine, Lucy. I just can't get it into reverse. The clutch has been acting up all summer."
He was pumping the clutch with his left foot, letting it in and out, trying to shift over and over.
"It's just not working. I think the clutch is shot."
"Okay, we'll take Lucy's car. Everybody out. Mark and I can push this one out of the way."
"Afraid not, Billy. It's stuck in first gear. I can't get it into neutral so there's no way you're gonna be able to push it."
"Then what are we going to do? Aunt Connie's car is at the train station."
"Calm down, guys. We'll call a cab. That's what I did last year with Tyler."
We all got out of the car. Danny grabbed the suitcase, Mark had Tyler and Billy took my arm. They were all in frenzy, practically bumping into each other. I was beginning to think it was easier last year going into labor at home alone. Billy called for a cab and we all went out onto the front porch to wait. The boys finally started to calm down, at least until I had another labor pain.
Fortunately, the taxi arrived just then and got us all to the hospital without any further trouble. After completing the paperwork Billy and I were taken to the delivery room while Mark and Danny headed to the waiting room.
I had been a little apprehensive about how Billy would handle the delivery room. Yeah, Danny's the sensitive one but sometimes the guys who act the toughest on the outside are the ones who get the most squeamish. Billy was tough when it came to 'guy stuff' but I wasn't sure how he'd do in a situation like this. He'd been a little awkward all though Lamaze classes and he wasn't exactly calm when I went into labor but I soon discovered I needn't have worried. Once the heavy-duty labor began he was perfect. He gave me my instructions in a low calm voice and stared right into my eyes. It was almost like he had me in a trance staring into those warm dark brown eyes of his, listening to that deep, soothing voice. The pains were worse than last year and while I lost track of time I knew it was taking much longer this time than with Tyler. All the while Billy was a rock, never wavering, gently reassuring me. At the end I thought I was being torn apart and just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore with my last ounce of strength I gave one final push and it was over. I felt so weak I thought I couldn't even breathe but then I heard the baby cry. Billy and I both looked toward Dr. Post.
"You have another beautiful boy, Lucy."
Danny
Mark stayed with me in the waiting room until four-thirty when he had to leave for the train station to go to work. I sat there by myself holding Tyler who didn't seem to get the importance of what was going on. He dozed off right after we got to the hospital. I really wanted to pace but I didn't want to wake him up so I forced myself to sit still. After a while Charles came in.
"We seem to keep running into each other in hospital waiting rooms, Charles."
"Yeah, but this is a much happier occasion than last time. Any word yet?"
"No, they've been in there a few hours. I don't remember it taking this long with Tyler."
"Every baby is different, Danny."
I looked up and saw Aunt Connie standing in the doorway.
"Aunt Connie! Thank God! I was afraid you were going to miss it. How did you get here so fast?"
"Mark left a note under my windshield wiper at the train station so I came straight here. I guess we've just got to wait now."
It wasn't too much longer before Billy came out looking happy but exhausted.
"It's another boy, guys, and he is so beautiful. Just wait until you see him."
"Did everything go all right? How is Lucy?"
"Everything's fine. It was really hard on Lucy but she did great. I think she may be a little sore for a while though."
When they gave us the okay we all went down the hall to Lucy's room. She was lying in bed looking very pale but smiling. In her arms was the baby wrapped in a light blue blanket. We all crowded around to get a good look.
"He's gorgeous, Lucy, He looks a lot bigger than Tyler was."
"He is, Danny, he's eight pounds ten ounces. Thank God he was two weeks early."
"Any idea what you're going to name him, Lucy?"
"I think so, Charles. I've changed my mind about a dozen times the past few weeks but when I saw him I went back to my first choice. I want to name him Jason." She looked at Billy. "Any ideas for a middle name?"
"I think you know the answer to that, Luce."
"Okay, then. Jason Daniel Matthews it is."
We left after a short while so Lucy could get some rest and begin to recover from the ordeal. Aunt Connie joined us at the house for a late supper of salad and sandwiches.
"You've got quite a family now, boys."
"So have you, Aunt Connie. We're all in this together, you know."
"Yes, I do, Danny, and I couldn't be happier. I was thinking that a girl might have been nice but then again, I enjoy being surrounded by all of you good-looking men."
"Yeah, you and Lucy will have to get used to being our favorite girls."
"Oh, I have no problem with that, Billy."
Aunt Connie had had a long day between her trip to New York and the excitement at the hospital so she went home right after we ate. We put Tyler to bed and Charles followed soon after. He had to be at work in the morning. Billy and I sat up for a while and talked. Now that we had kids in the house we had to be a bit more discrete so we couldn't make love on the living room floor in front of the fireplace but I did manage to continue our family tradition of fucking the new daddy once we were behind closed doors in our room.