This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.
I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments, suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty Six. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
March 1974
Danny
Sure enough, the next morning there was a note in my mailbox in the office instructing me to see Dr. Swanson after school. He was waiting for me looking very stern when I got to his office at three o'clock.
"Sit down, Mr. Stephens. You are full of surprises, aren't you?" Too formal, that didn't sound good. I thought maybe I could head him off and speed this up.
"I know you've told me in the past to keep things in my personal life private, Dr. Swanson. Maybe I shouldn't have taken part in that meeting last night. If you like, I won't do things like that in the future."
"It's not what I'd like, Dan. It's what is required. A teacher's life must be beyond reproach but not only do you have an unorthodox lifestyle, you seem to insist on flaunting it in public."
"I wasn't flaunting anything, sir. I was explaining. It was an educational meeting designed to increase tolerance. I wasn't trying to flaunt anything personally. I was trying to create an atmosphere that would promote understanding and help others."
"I really don't understand your generation. When I was your age there were certain things no one talked about, things no one wanted to hear about. And you insist on shoving this in people's faces."
"Obviously we disagree, sir. I don't want to argue with you about it. I will refrain from doing any more speaking engagements if that is what is required."
"It is if you want to stay in the classroom until the end of the school year. Of course, you realize that we will not be renewing your contract for next year."
I was stunned. I knew from his demeanor that he was taking this whole thing very seriously but it had never occurred to me that my job was in jeopardy.
"But why not? I've done everything you've asked me. And I think I'm a good teacher. All of my performance reviews have been excellent. I told you I'd be more discrete about my private life in the future. As it is, no one here in the school except you knows anything about me. I promise you it will stay that way."
"I agree your reviews have been good but a teacher must also have upstanding morals and lead an exemplary life. You claim to love teaching but obviously not enough to keep your lifestyle to yourself. As long as it doesn't become public knowledge I will allow you to finish out the year but there is no way I could recommend that your contract be renewed. Of course, that also precludes my giving you a reference for another teaching job."
"But what will I do? This is the only teaching job I've had. I can't get another job without references from here."
"You should have thought of that before. I will do you a favor and not tell anyone the real reason for your leaving here if I am contacted but I cannot in good conscience recommend you. If you are serious about wanting to teach you might consider going to graduate school and teaching college. You would have less trouble there. The students are older and parents are not as involved in the school."
I left the office in a state of shock. I'd been told all along that you couldn't be out and be a teacher but somehow I just didn't expect this. Maybe if I'd come out publicly and there had been an adverse reaction I would have seen it coming. Even then I imagined there would have been some type of drawn out fight about it. But this was so sudden. A small meeting miles from school. No one even knew about it except Dr. Swanson. It wasn't like there was this big public demand that I be fired. It was over before I even realized there was a problem.
Billy
Charles and I had a great time at the movies. I really wished Danny had come with us. The three of us doing something fun like that might have helped whatever the problem was between them. Charles was in a great mood when we got home and I was hoping that we could at least tell Danny all about the movie but he had already gone to bed. The next morning I tried to bring it up at breakfast but Danny was preoccupied.
When we got home from school late that afternoon Lucy was alone in the kitchen fixing supper. She said that Danny had come home and said he wasn't feeling well and had gone upstairs to lie down. Danny was never sick so I was concerned. I left Charles in the kitchen with Lucy and Tyler and went upstairs.
Danny was lying in bed on his side facing away from the door. I went over and sat on the bed next to him and put my hand on his side. He turned over and looked up at me. I saw he had tears running down his cheeks.
"What's the matter, baby? Are you all right?"
He sat up and hugged me tight. "I fucked up, Billy. I've ruined everything."
He gave me a brief rundown of the meeting the night before and the resulting talk with Dr. Swanson. He was trying not to cry but wasn't succeeding. I couldn't believe he had lost his job over something so minor. I felt so bad for him. I knew how much teaching had come to mean to him. I also knew how much we needed two paychecks to keep the house going.
"What am I going to do, Billy? What are we going to do?"
"I don't know, Danny. We'll thing of something. It's not the end of the world."
"But it is, Billy. I just can't do anything right lately. I try so hard and I fuck it all up. I tried to make friends with Charles and ended up getting mad at him. I tried to help out the Alliance and lost my job. I love teaching and now I can't do it. And how are we gonna survive if I don't have a job? We've got another baby coming in August. It's all fucked up and it's all my fault."
I held him tight while he cried and tried to comfort him. I wasn't feeling great about the situation myself but I knew it was definitely not Danny's fault.
"We'll figure it out, Dan. You've still got the job for now so that gives us some time. Try not to take it so hard and don't blame yourself. You always try so hard to do the right thing. Sometimes it doesn't work out. That's not your fault."
I heard a noise behind me and turned and saw Charles in the doorway. I jerked my head toward the hall hoping he'd understand me. He looked confused for a second but then nodded and headed toward his room.
Danny stayed in our room all evening. I went downstairs and explained what had happened to Lucy. She was horrified and offered to go beat up Mrs. Swanson if I took care of her husband. Just the idea of us beating the crap out of those two made me feel better. Later I took some food up to Danny but he couldn't eat anything. I spent most of the evening just lying in bed holding him. We didn't talk much; we just lay there. He was so down on himself and I felt so helpless. Holding him was all I could do. I hoped it was enough.
Over the next couple of days we talked a bit about Danny's possibilities. We agreed that teaching college might be his best bet. Aunt Connie's calm thinking and experience were a big help.
"Dr. Swanson is right that you'll face less opposition in college. Plus, if you go to graduate school you won't have to explain why you left Chatham High. You can just say you decided you wanted to teach college."
"Except that I don't. I really like high school. That's what I want to do."
"I'm not saying you should give up on that, Danny, just that you shouldn't rule anything out. Apply to graduate school for the fall. You can keep working on Dr. Swanson to try to get a recommendation from him. Maybe you can get something narrowly worded only referring to your teaching skills and your reviews, something where he's not giving a personal reference."
"I don't think that's going to happen, Aunt Connie."
"If it doesn't then maybe you'll have to take a chance. Apply at high schools and tell them why you're leaving Chatham. If you look around you might find a school district where they don't object to your being gay as long as you keep quiet about it. The worst they can do is not hire you and you won't be any worse off than you are now. I know the administration here in Morristown is pretty liberal though I'm not sure they're that liberal."
"I think I'll keep that as a last resort."
"I've put together a personal reference for you for what it's worth. I can't vouch for your classroom skills because I've never seen you in action but I can attest to your character. That might help if it becomes an issue."
She handed Danny a couple of typed pages. As he read through them his hands started shaking and his eyes got moist.
"You're too kind. I don't deserve all of these accolades."
"You most certainly do, Danny. You and Billy both. You know I love you two but I also have tremendous respect for you as well. I've been teaching over twenty-five years and I wouldn't say something in a reference if it weren't true."
"Thank you, Aunt Connie. You are beautiful. I don't know what we would have done without you all these years." Danny got up and kissed her on the cheek.
"And I can't imagine what my life would be like without you boys. You are a joy to me."
Danny and I were both worried about our finances but only discussed that when we were alone.
"I know we'll be fine through the summer but what happens if I don't have a job in the fall? Lucy is having the baby in August. Our car is so old it's about to fall apart. Even if the state approves us a foster parents and gives us money to help out with Charles it's still going to cost us something having him here. If I go to graduate school that's going to cost money and I won't be able to make much working part time."
"Slow down, Danny. One thing at a time. Maybe we can work part-time at The Restaurant this summer. I know that worrying is your favorite hobby but right now let's focus on right now. There's plenty of time to worry about the fall when it gets here and if we take care of things now there won't be anything to worry about then."
Charles was pretty quiet, even around me, for a couple of days. Monday on the train to Newark he asked me how Danny was doing.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"I thought that was pretty obvious, Charles. Didn't you realize that before?"
"Well, I knew he loved you. I mean, who wouldn't? You're a fantastic guy. But I really couldn't see why you would love him. He's so quiet, not at all like you. Yeah, he's kinda cute for a white guy and you two sound like you have a lot of fun in bed so I thought maybe that's what it was all about for you."
"You really think I'm that shallow, Charles? That I would be with Danny for all these years just for the sex?"
"No, I guess not. I knew there had to be something more but it just wasn't that obvious to me. But when I saw you holding him the other night when he was crying I could see how you two belonged together. You just fit."
"Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. We do fit."
"Is there anything I can do to help you guys with this situation?"
"Maybe you could make more of an effort to get along with Danny. He needs all of our support right now."
"I'll try but I don't think he likes me."
"I'm sure he does, Charles. I think maybe he's just been reacting to you the way you've been reacting to him. Maybe if you both start over and give each other a chance it will work out better."
Charles didn't waste any time following my advice. That night after dinner he cornered Danny in the living room.
"You know, Danny, I was thinking. I'd really like to go see Blazing Saddles again and you didn't get to go with Billy and me last week so I thought maybe the two of us could go together tomorrow."
"That sounds like fun. I know how much you guys enjoyed it. Maybe Billy wants to see it again, too."
"No, he liked it but he said once was enough for him. Would it be okay if it was just you and me?'
"Yeah, that would be fine with me, Charles. I think I'd like that."
April 1974
Mark
One night I stopped in Julius' after work and was checking out the jukebox when I realized this attractive guy at the bar was checking me out. He was about my height and build and had brown hair that was just a shade darker than mine. His eyes were a light brown. He looked to be a couple of years younger than me but other than that and the slight difference in coloring we could have been brothers. It felt a little strange having him cruise me. He was nice looking but I thought it was a little narcissistic cruising him back. As soon as he saw I had noticed him he walked over and introduced himself as Hank. We chatted a few minutes and we learned the basics about each other. He was twenty-one, an undergraduate business major at NYU and was from Ohio. As I finished my beer I excused myself to go to the men's room. I was halfway done at the urinal when I heard the door open and Hank appeared next to me at the other urinal. He unzipped his fly and took out his dick. All the while his eyes were glued to my cock.
"Damn, you've got a nice piece there!"
"Thanks. Yours is nice, too."
Actually, I hadn't even looked but what else could I say? I finished up, washed my hands and went back into the bar. Hank joined me in a minute.
"How about going back to the dorm with me?"
"Sorry, I live in Jersey and have a train to catch. I've gotta get going in a few minutes."
"Do you really have to go home? You could spend the night. My roommate went home for the weekend."
I looked at him for a minute. He was kinda cute and I hadn't been with anyone since Peter and I broke up. That had been a deliberate decision. I wanted a clean break from my behavior of the last year or so with Peter. I also felt that I needed some time to straighten out my head. It had been a while and I was feeling horny but I'd never really done any tricking like that. Joe had been my first guy and I'd started seeing Peter not long after. I'd been with a lot of guys but that was all with Peter. While I had decided that what I was looking for was a monogamous relationship maybe it wouldn't hurt to have some fun along the way.
"What the hell. Why not?"
We walked to his dorm near Washington Square. Once in the room he was all over me and I quickly got into it as well. It had been a while, after all. Hank stripped us both and pushed me back onto the bed. He practically pinned me to the bed as he worked me over from head to toe with his mouth. In no time he was kneeling, straddling my hips. He held my dick upright and lowered himself onto it, then began to ride me. It had been a long time since I'd been with a guy and he had some kind of magic working in his ass so it was all over long before I wanted it to be. Afterward we cuddled awhile and fell asleep in each other's arms. Looking back that was even nicer than the sex had been.
I awoke to find Hank playing with my dick. He was lying on his side gently stroking it.
"What a great cock. You are really hot, Mark. No wonder Peter talks about you so much."
"Peter? You know Peter? Then you knew who I was when we met in the bar last night?"
"Yeah, I've sort of been seeing him for a month or so. He talks about you all the time. Last week we were across the street from you and he pointed you out. He mentioned that you usually hang out in Julius' so I was looking for you last night. I wanted to size up the competition."
"I think maybe I'd better go, Hank. I really don't want to talk about Peter."
"Then forget I mentioned him. How about another go-round?"
I pulled away from Hank and sat up on the edge of the bed. I'd gone completely soft and was in no way interested in sex.
"No, Hank, I'm not up for any more. I'm leaving." I quickly got dressed and left. All the way home I wondered which bothered me more, that Peter was seeing someone or that Hank hadn't really been interested in me for my own sake. When I got home I went to talk to Billy and Danny. Billy was playing with Tyler on the living room floor.
"Hey, Billy, where is everyone?"
"Lucy's got a wedding to shoot and Charles went with Danny to the supermarket. What's up? You look like you've been up all night."
"Not exactly, although I did just get home." I told Billy about my night with Hank.
"You look kinda shook up, Mark. Are you all right?"
"I'm not sure. All the way home I've been trying to figure out what I'm feeling and why. I just wasn't expecting Hank to be connected to Peter. I was uncomfortable enough with the whole situation because I'd never gone home with someone like that."
"Before he mentioned Peter, what were you thinking about the whole thing?"
"Not much, really. I mean, he was nice looking and an okay guy but I wasn't really into him, if you know what I mean. The sex wasn't even very good. It was almost over before it started. To be honest my first thought when I woke up was 'How can I get up and out of here as soon as possible?'"
"So it was just a trick, and not a very good one at that, so you weren't expecting it to go anywhere anyway. I'm guessing that you're feeling the way you are because you're not really over Peter yet. Maybe you're feeling a little bit jealous."
"I know I'm not totally over him. That's gonna take a while. I guess it just upset me realizing that he's already seeing someone else. I know it's over between us and there's no way I want to go back to that kind of relationship. It's just knowing that he has moved on and I haven't yet. Not that his having sex with Hank necessarily means anything. He might just be horny. You know how he is about sex."
"Yeah, I know, but don't think that you haven't moved on just because you're not seeing someone yet. You've gone a long way toward straightening out your life and when you meet a guy you want to date, you will. You're a different kind of guy than Peter. You want more than sex."
"Yeah, I do, but a little hot sex now and then wouldn't hurt. My hand can only do so much."
"So pick up a few toys. Be creative. Keep taking care of yourself and I'm sure Mr. Right will come along."
"I hope so. I so much want what you and Danny have but I'm afraid I won't find it."
"Every relationship is different, Mark. Just don't try to rush it or force it. Take your time."
"I will. Speaking of Danny, how is he handling things?"
"He's managing. He and I both know that he'll get through this and everything will somehow work out but on a day-to-day basis it's still rough. Deep down he is so strong but on the surface he can be fragile. He craves security and something like this just shakes his whole world. I feel so bad for him and wish I could just magically make everything all right."
"You do make it all right, Billy. You are his security. He's strong because he's got you."
"Maybe a little, but I give him most of the credit."
"You just don't realize how much you give people, Billy. I know what your friendship and support does for me. Both you and Danny. I couldn't make it without you guys."
"I'm sure you could, Mark, but we're not gonna let you try. You're stuck with us."
"Thank God."
Lucy
Danny was so down over his job situation but at least things were looking up with Charles. The two of them were hanging out and talking more and getting to know one another better. Whatever their problem had been seemed to have finally resolved itself. Danny got an application for grad school from Rutgers but hadn't given up on finding another high school. He was calling around to see where there were openings and getting applications for them as well.
The first Monday in April Danny had been home from school for a little while when Rachel Shapiro dropped in. She hadn't been around much lately although she called at least once a week. Even though we'd become friendly with her we had decided not to tell her about Danny losing his job. It was taking long enough for the state to make a decision. That might be enough to tip the scales against them.
"It's been a while, Rachel. What brings you around? Don't tell me they've finally made a decision."
"Actually, Danny, they have."
"Well? What is it?"
"I want to wait until Billy and Charles get here so I can tell you all at once. They're due soon, aren't they?"
"Any minute."
Danny and I were both dying to hear the news and kept pestering Rachel over a cup of tea but she wouldn't say a word. Just when I thought Danny was going to explode we heard the front door open and Billy and Charles came into the kitchen a few seconds later.
"An unannounced visit after all this time. You must have news."
"You're right, Billy, and it's good news. You've been approved. You and Danny are now officially Charles' foster parents."
Charles let out a yell and hugged Billy tight. He ran the few steps across the room and pulled Danny out of his chair and wrapped his arms around him. Billy followed him across the room and the three of them hugged. I noticed tears running down Charles' cheeks.
"Congratulations, guys. I know it took a long time but the wait is over. You're a family now."
I wasn't sure the guys were paying any attention to Rachel so I decided to ask a few questions.
"So how does this change things, Rachel, other than making the current temporary situation permanent?"
"Well, the state will continue to pay for any medical care Charles may need. In addition to that, beginning this month Billy and Danny will be getting a monthly food and clothing allowance for Charles so that should help financially. And Charles will have to transfer to Morristown High School now that he officially lives here."
"There are only a couple of months left in the school year, Rachel. Can't he finish up the year at Central High and start here in the fall?"
"I don't see why not, Billy. He commutes with you so the traveling shouldn't be a problem, but he will have to go to school here next year."
I decided this family needed a celebration. Since the first of the year Billy had been stabbed, Charles had been beaten and lost a foster home, we had all had to adapt to a new living arrangement and Danny had lost his job. Finally something good had happened so I told Mark to make reservations for all of us at The Restaurant. I wanted Aunt Connie to come too but she insisted on staying home and babysitting so us 'young folks' could have some fun.
I don't think Charles had ever been to the Village before. From the time we parked the car until we got to The Restaurant he was gawking all around at all of the gay guys. He was even more impressed when we were seated at our table. I'd picked a Tuesday night so it wouldn't be crowded since they had to push a couple of tables together for us. We were seated near the back of the dining room. Billy, Charles and Mark were facing the front of the room and Danny and I were on the other side of the table. It was apparent that The Restaurant was a little nicer than most of the places Charles had eaten.
"You guys are gonna have to translate this menu for me. Are you sure this is English?"
"Don't worry, Billy and I didn't know what most of the entrees were when we started working here. Some are French and some are Italian but we weren't familiar with even a lot of the American dishes."
The guys helped Charles with his order and kept him entertained throughout the meal with anecdotes about their work experiences. Charles couldn't take his eyes off the cute busboy.
"I don't see how you can not have a boyfriend when you work here, Mark. There are so many great looking guys to pick from."
"I'm looking for more than just good looks, Charles. Besides, I'm probably not ready for a new relationship yet."
"Yeah, but at least you've got a lot of guys to choose from when you are ready. I'm never gonna find a boyfriend in high school."
"One step at a time, Charles. When you start at Morristown High in the fall you'll make some local friends. Who knows, maybe one of them will turn out to be special."
"Probably not, Danny, but I'm not waiting until fall to meet local people. I filled out an application for a summer job at the A&P yesterday. I figure now that I'm part of this family I should contribute something. Besides, it's a chance for me to make new friends."
"You don't have to work to support yourself, Charles. Danny and I can handle that with the help we're getting from the state. But it wouldn't hurt for you to save some money up for college. It's only two years off and I'm not sure how much the state will pay toward that, if anything."
"College? You're not serious. I've never even thought of going to college. There was no way it was ever going to be possible the way my life was going."
"Well, think about it now, kid. If you want to go, Billy and I will find a way."
We had just ordered dessert and after dinner drinks when Billy looked over Danny's shoulder toward the front door.
"It looks like Todd is still up to his old tricks, Mark."
Mark followed Billy's look.
"Yeah, that's a pretty accurate way of putting it."
Charles craned his neck to see who they were looking at.
"Which one is Todd? Is he a friend of yours, Billy?"
"Todd's the guy in his twenties with shaggy brown hair. He's just being seated in that alcove to the left. He's not exactly a friend. He's a professional escort who has been coming here pretty regularly since the place opened."
"He's pretty hot looking. What's a professional escort?"
Danny discreetly turned and glanced back. I did too but all I could see was the profile of a nice looking guy seated facing into the alcove.
"Todd gets paid to go out on dates, Charles. He always insists on his customers taking him out to a nice restaurant for dinner before going back to his place for dessert."
"You mean he's like a hooker, Danny?"
"Pretty much, though you'd better not let him hear you use that word. He considers himself a business professional."
'He's actually a pretty nice guy. I've run into him in Julius' after work a few times recently and talked to him. He's got a degree in political science from Columbia and is very well read. He can talk about anything. No wonder the older guys go for him. He charges quite a bit. I didn't know you could make that kind of money in that business."
"I think maybe his fees have something to do with his performance in bed, Mark. I've heard that not only is he very good but that he's willing to do just about anything his customers want. Some guys can be pretty kinky."
"Enough of that, Billy. Remember you have an innocent teenager here. Besides, I don't think I want to hear any more details either."
"Spoken like the mother you are, Lucy."
I managed to change the topic of the conversation as the waiter brought our desserts. After a while we paid the check and got up to leave. As we started filing toward the front door both Mark and Billy said hello to Todd in passing. Charles just stared at him in awe. As Danny and I reached the alcove table Danny missed a step and stumbled a bit.
"Hey, Danny, good to see you. It's been a while."
"Hi, Todd. Billy and I haven't been into the city much lately. I'd better get going. We've got to be up early for school. Have a nice evening."
Danny had a strange tone in his voice and just stared at Todd's customer when he said that. We caught up to the others on the sidewalk. Billy gave Danny an odd look.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, Danny. What's up?"
"It looks like I'm going to be making different kind of trip to the principal's office tomorrow, Billy. Todd's date was Dr. Swanson."