This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.
I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments, suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty Six. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
March 1973
Lucy
This pregnancy still doesn't quite seem real. Of course, it's still so early; I'm not even three months along and haven't begun to show yet. At night I lie on my back in bed and place my hands on my belly, thinking I should be able to feel something, but nothing. I know the baby is too small but I'm looking for some sign that this is really happening.
The time is at least passing pretty quickly. All winter I kept busy getting my exhibit of the boys' pictures ready. The closer we got to the date the more nervous I became. Obviously I loved the pictures and thought they were great. I pride myself on being able to be pretty objective about my work. In fact, I'm usually my own worst critic. But there is no way I can be objective about Billy and Danny. I'm so in love with them that I always think they're beautiful. Going over the close-ups was pretty easy, but any picture that had their faces in it could send me off into a trance.
Opening day finally arrived. The gallery wanted it to be a Saturday but of course Billy and Danny had to work at The Restaurant then so we made it Thursday instead. I sent invitations to everyone- friends from Douglass and from high school, professors, neighbors, all of the boys' gay friends, people Aunt Connie and I knew from church, everybody I could think of. I didn't think many of the Jersey people would make it into the city on a weeknight but at least they would be aware of the show and might go see it on the weekend. The gallery took care of inviting the critics and those that they considered to be all of the 'right' people. My guests were just fillers, people to keep the gallery from looking empty. I needn't have worried about that. Nearly everyone I invited showed up, plus others I hadn't thought to ask, like Mark's old boyfriend Joe and Mark's brother Jamie, who spent the evening hanging out together.
Billy and Danny looked absolutely gorgeous in their suits. Of course, they always look good to me, but I never get to see them dressed up. They had just had their hair cut so they pretty much looked the same as in the pictures. From what I heard from the crowd, the exhibit was a success. I said as much to my friend George near the end of the evening.
"I would have to agree, Lucy. I loved the pictures you showed me back when you took them, and I still love them. I've always thought you had a great eye and a great talent. Now everyone knows. Of course, it's the critics' opinions that matter but I think you've impressed them. I just hope you won't be so big you won't want to work for me any more."
"Don't worry about that, George. I do want to be appreciated for my art and I hope to get some freelance work once people know what I can do, but I love working for you close to home. That's especially important with a baby on the way."
"I still can't believe you're doing that, Lucy, but I'm happy for you. And I'm glad you timed it so that you'll be available to work the graduation and wedding season for me."
"I didn't exactly plan it that way but I'm glad it worked out like that, too. I'll be able to take a break to have the baby during our slow time."
"I know you shouldn't drink much but can I get you a glass of champagne to celebrate? Some people have been drinking it all night. You deserve at least one."
"Thanks, George, but don't let Danny see you. He's a bit on the overprotective side."
Apparently Mark was one of those who had been helping himself to the champagne. He and Peter came over to say goodnight a few minutes later and he was swaying a bit as he talked to me.
"You must be a magician, Lucy. I didn't think it was possible for Billy and Danny to look any hotter but somehow you did it."
"Thanks, Peter, although that wasn't exactly what I was going for with the pictures."
"Don't listen to him, Lucy. Peter's head is always in his pants, or someone else's. Your show is great. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks, Mark. Your opinion means a lot to me. I'm so glad you and Peter could come."
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world, Lucy. I changed my night at The Restaurant to be here. Everyone there sends their love."
"It was so nice of your brother to come to the show. I haven't seen much of him since you moved into the city. I don't see much of you, either. You've got to come out to Morristown more often."
"I know, but whenever I go to Morristown I feel like I have to stop in to see my parents and life just seems easier not having to deal with them. I will try to get out to see you more, though. I miss you."
Just then, Mark seemed to lose his balance. Peter grabbed for his arm but missed. Mark somehow managed to steady himself without attracting too much attention.
"I'm glad you're not driving, guys. The fresh air on the walk home will do you good."
"We haven't really had that much to drink, Lucy. We split a joint on the way over. Peter's been getting some great weed lately. In fact, we're meeting our friend Terry a little later. We could get you some if you want."
"Thanks, but I haven't been smoking lately. I'll explain next time you come to visit."
"Okay, your choice. Congratulations again, Lucy. You did great."
"Thanks again for coming, Mark. If you're going out on the town tonight please don't drink too much, guys, but have fun with your friend."
"Don't worry about us, Lucy, we'll probably just stay in and hang out with him. Mark and I always have a great time with Terry. "
Mark and Peter had just left and George had just handed me a glass of champagne when Danny and Jamie walked over. Danny just stared at the glass in my hand.
"Not a word, Danny. It's my first and only glass."
"I wasn't going to say anything, Lucy, but..."
"The only butts allowed in here are yours and Billy's and they're in the photos on the walls."
Jamie laughed but looked confused.
"What's the problem, guys? It's not like Lucy's not entitled to celebrate or isn't old enough to drink. I'm only seventeen and Billy let me have some champagne."
"It's not that, Jamie, but she really shouldn't be drinking in her condition."
"Condition?" Jamie looked more puzzled than ever.
"Danny makes it sound like I'm terminally ill or something. I'm just pregnant, Jamie. I'm going to have a baby in September."
"Pregnant? But how? Who's the father?"
"Danny's the father."
"Wait a minute, now I'm more confused than ever."
Danny and I explained to Jamie what he and Billy and I had decided last fall. He seemed a little shocked but was cool with it by the time we'd talked a few minutes.
"But keep it to yourself, Jamie. We haven't told Mark or just about anyone else about it yet."
"I'll keep quiet, Lucy. And don't worry, I almost never talk to Mark any more. He's always with Peter and their new friends in the city, guys I've never heard of. Mark came over to talk to me and Joe tonight and Peter practically dragged him away."
"I'm glad you got to see Joe. I know you always liked him."
"Yeah, he's still a great guy. I wish Mark could see that."
"Mark knows, Jamie. Things just didn't work out for them. I guess the timing wasn't right."
"Well, Danny, the timing might be right for Mark and Peter but personally, I don't think anything else is. I don't like the way Peter treats Mark."
"I think we all agree with you to some extent, but in the end it's really up to Mark."
Billy
One last task to complete before graduation was student teaching. Danny and I both had to get some practice teaching in a local high school. We pleaded with our advisors at Rutgers to put us in the same school if possible. After all, we only have one car so commuting to two schools would be a major problem. We lucked out and got assigned to the high school in Parsippany, a sprawling suburban township a little bit north of Morristown. We were both a little apprehensive, Danny because he's so shy but in my case it was the racial thing again. The student body at the school wasn't totally white (maybe 98 per cent) but I don't think they'd ever had a black teacher there so I was worried about the kind of reception I'd get.
We were each assigned a teacher to work with and the first week we just sat in the back of the classroom and observed. I was assigned to a young blonde named Carol Hale. She didn't seem to have much more experience with black folks than the kids but we got along all right. Danny had been assigned to Mrs. Rowan, the middle-aged chairperson of the history department. We were able to have lunch together in the faculty dining room but it was hard to talk there, especially since Miss Hale and Mrs. Rowan sat with us, so we had to wait until the ride home to compare notes. "Mrs. Rowan comes across as kinda tough at first but she's already started to mother me a bit. I seem to bring that out in women her age, all but my own mother, that is."
"Miss Hale is pretty cool but keeps her distance. I think she was probably raised to watch out for big bad black men."
"And she doesn't even know just how big you are, Billy, but remember you're only allowed to be bad when you're with me."
"Hmm, maybe tonight we can play a new game. You be Miss Hale and I'll be me and we'll see how bad I can be."
"You keep thinking like that and there's no way you'll be able to look her in the eye while you're teaching a room full of kids."
"Yeah, Danny, I guess I'd better leave my dirty mind at home."
"You do that. I can put it to good use there."
It didn't take more than a couple of days for us to realize that there was no way we could ever teach in the same school. We'd sometimes talked about how nice that might be but it's just too hard keeping our hands off each other. It's not like we're constantly groping each other or anything, but we do touch a lot- a hand on the arm or shoulder, or around the waist. I especially love to touch Danny's face, just to run my fingertips lightly across his cheek. Since we moved out on our own we'd never really had to hide our relationship before. Yeah, we try to be a little discreet around town but even there it doesn't take a genius to figure out we're a couple. So the first couple of days at Parsippany High were a little new for us. We only saw each other for a few minutes in the teachers' lounge in the morning and then again at lunchtime but I don't know how many times I caught myself reaching out toward him and had to pull my hand back. It was so hard pretending that we were just roommates. I thought everyone would see right through us but apparently we fooled them.
After a week I took over the class and Miss Hale watched from the back. It was a little awkward at first. I had to follow her lesson plan, which was easier than making up my own, but I didn't think I had quite the same teaching style that she did. The kids didn't seem to know what to make of me but they didn't give me a problem although they weren't very responsive either. Maybe they were afraid of me, I don't know, but after the first few days we all relaxed a little and it seemed to get better.
Danny was pleased that he wasn't having as much trouble talking in front of the class as he thought he would. He credited it to the speaking engagements we do with the Alliance. We have members go out to speak about being gay to all kinds of groups, mostly local college classes. Most people don't think they've ever met a gay person so it helps them to see real gay people and realize that we're pretty much like them. Anyway, Danny and I have gone out on a few of these engagements and he seems to think they've helped his shyness a bit.
One night toward the end of our student teaching, after Danny had made slow passionate love to me, we lay cuddling and had our usual late night chat. I brought up an idea that had been in my head since we started at Parsippany High.
"You know we can't work together next year, Danny, even if we found a school that needed both an English teacher and a history teacher."
"Yeah, I know. It would be so nice but only if we could be ourselves. We could never pretend to be straight roommates all year. They'd figure us out in no time. Unfortunately, if we teach in separate schools we're gonna need to buy a second car and I don't see how we can afford that."
"Maybe we won't have to. I think that I'd like to try teaching in Newark, maybe at Central High. If I did that I could take the train."
"You want to go back to Central High? You couldn't wait to get away from there, Billy."
"I got away, baby. I got as far away as I could get. I got to you. But teaching the last few weeks has made me think about Mrs. Watson, my old English teacher. She's the one who inspired me, who made me believe I could make something of my life by getting an education. She believed in me."
"Yeah, you've always raved about her. She sounds like a great woman. I wish I could meet her."
"I wish you could, too. She's the reason I went to Rutgers and if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have met you. We both owe her."
"So is she why you want to go back? You want to teach with her?"
"Yeah, I'd love to teach alongside her. But mostly, I want to do what she did. The best way for me to thank her would be if I could help some kids like me, maybe inspire some other kid from that neighborhood to get an education and raise his sights. You know, kind of pass it along."
"That sounds great, Billy. I'm not sure I like the idea of you being back in that neighborhood every day, but I know you can take care of yourself. And I'm really proud of you."
May 1973
Danny
Once we finished our student teaching the rest of the semester flew by. In no time it was May and classes were over. A few finals and we were done. It was a little hard to grasp. College had been such a central, continuing part of our lives. I felt like my life began that first day at Rutgers, the day I met Billy. While we hadn't lived there since freshman year, it was still the place we went every day. Billy met me at the Student Center after my last exam. We had decided to take a last walk around campus. We'd been quite a bit less open on campus since freshman year and since we had been commuting for three years we weren't very well known any more, but for this one last day, we didn't care what anyone thought. We walked down College Avenue holding hands, just like we did that horrible January so long ago. A few kids stared or murmured negative comments but we just walked on by. When we got to the grassy mall between the classroom buildings we stopped and looked around for a moment.
"Remember how packed this was the day of the Moratorium, Billy? That was the biggest crowd I had ever seen."
"Yeah, it seemed huge, our first demonstration. And the stage was set up right over there, in front of the statue of Willie the Silent."
"Ah, the only one who witnessed out first kiss. I wonder if that was the first gay kiss he saw."
"How about we make sure it's not his last? Are you up for one for old times sake, Dan?"
"You have to ask? It was a few feet over that way, if I remember."
"You're right, though I don't know how you remember. We were both a little high that night. That joint served two purposes. One, to give me the courage to tell you that I was gay and I loved you. And two, so you wouldn't hate me too much when you found out, which seems a little silly to think about now."
"Thank God you found the courage, Billy. I was out of my mind about you and didn't realize it was love. I'm glad you took control and made that first move."
"Come here and I'll make another one."
We had been holding hands all along but Billy pulled me in close to him, grabbed me in a tight hug and kissed me. We weren't scared, high seventeen year olds anymore but the magic was still there. I squeezed Billy tight and kissed him back with everything I had. I don't know how long we kissed but it just felt so good I never wanted it to end.
"Some things never change, thank God. I'm going to miss seeing you two around campus."
We pulled apart and I spun around at the sound of her voice.
"Dr. Morrow! It's so good to see you."
"You call me Barbara when I see you at Tim and Evan's house. I think you can call me Barbara here, Danny."
"It's just that here you're a professor but now that we're not students anymore, I guess that doesn't matter much."
"Are you coming to our party next Saturday, Barbara?"
"I wouldn't miss it, Billy. I'll be there with Tim and Evan."
We had decided to at long last take a Saturday night off from work at The Restaurant and have our graduation party at a time that was convenient for everyone. Of course, our co-workers wouldn't be able to make it then but we planned to go out on the town one night after work to celebrate with them.
The graduation ceremony itself was held on Thursday at Rutgers Stadium, across the river from the College Avenue campus. Mark, Lucy and Aunt Connie came to see us graduate. Peter had to work. So did Aunt Connie but she took the day off. She said nothing was going to stop her from seeing 'her boys' get their diplomas. I didn't pay too much attention to the ceremony itself. I just couldn't wait for it to be over and to see our diplomas. We worked so hard for them.
Lucy had brought her camera (of course) so afterward she got lots of pictures of us in our caps and gowns, alone, together, with the others. She even took one that was the exact same pose as the first picture she had taken the day we met her, side by side with our arms over each other's shoulders.
Mark had to get back to the city to be at work at The Restaurant by six so he took the train from New Brunswick. The rest of us had come down together in Aunt Connie's car and went home to Morristown for a quiet dinner at Rod's. The real party was going to be Saturday.
And what a party it was. Billy and I haven't done much entertaining, just a few friends for dinner on a weeknight now and then. But this graduation meant so much to us. There was a time back in freshman year when we didn't think we'd ever make it. We struggled, we worked hard and we did it. So we deserved a good party. We invited just about everyone we knew.
We decided to start the party with a late afternoon cookout in the back yard and then just keep it going into the evening, moving inside if it got too cold. Mark and Peter arrived early to help us get everything set up. They were spending the night in our old apartment over Aunt Connie's garage so they were going to be available for cleanup on Sunday as well. The four of us had a great time all afternoon; I almost wished the party were going to be another time. Things have been a little weird between us for quite some time. Sometimes Mark is okay, like his old self though a little more subdued. He's obviously still having trouble handling losing Brad. Other times he drinks and smokes too much and he gets pretty out of it. He can also be a little difficult when he's like that. He's just not the same person. When they're not high, Peter can be a great guy. He's friendly and is pretty attentive to Mark, taking care of him. But when he gets high he changes also. He can be a bit arrogant, especially toward Billy and me, and I'm not sure I like the way he treats Mark. I could be generous and say he looks after him, but at times it seems more like he's controlling Mark. Billy and I were a bit apprehensive about which couple they would be at the party, but while they were helping us they were great.
We had two long tables set up as a buffet along the back of the house. There was a smaller table a short distance away that was a self-service bar. We'd borrowed chairs from Aunt Connie and a couple of other neighbors and had them spread out around the yard. The first people to arrive were some neighbors, followed by most of our poker friends. People from the Alliance observed gay standard time and got there much later.
Everything went great all evening. There were tons to eat and drink and we had organized things so it went pretty smoothly. Everyone also helped out so it wasn't too much work for Billy and me. The neighbors left pretty early and others drifted in and out all evening. Considering the amount of booze flowing everyone was pretty mellow by the end of the evening.
By ten o'clock the temperature had dropped into the fifties so most of the crowd had moved into the house. I was in the kitchen talking to Mark when Peter came in with a fat joint in his hand.
"Anybody want to get high?"
"No smoking in the house, Peter, especially around Lucy. If you want to smoke go out back but make sure none of the neighbors are out there."
"You want to go out with us, Danny?"
"No thanks, Mark. Billy and I rarely smoke anymore and besides, we've got a houseful of guests. We have to keep our wits about us."
"Okay but it's your loss. The stuff Peter's been getting lately is treated with something that's out of this world."
I refilled a couple of bowls of snacks and headed for the living room. Peter and Mark went out the back door. I mingled with our guests for a while and cleaned up a bit as I went, picking up empty bottles and glasses and taking them out to the kitchen. I hadn't been drinking much but I decided I wanted a beer so I went out back to get one from the cooler. Peter and Mark were still out there, smoking what had to be another joint off to one side of the patio. No one else was still outside so I started to clean up a bit of the mess we'd left out there so it wouldn't be so bad in the morning. Peter kept whispering in Mark's ear and they were giggling a lot. At least if they were gonna be stoned out of their minds they seemed to be handling it well.
I'd finished taking all of the booze from the bar into the house and was about to go back to the party when Mark came over to me. He seemed a bit unsteady and held onto both of my shoulders.
""Danny, you shouldn't be working so hard. This is your party and you should be having fun."
"I am having fun, Mark. I just don't want all this stuff to pile up until the end."
"You could have some fun with me, Danny."
Mark had unbuttoned a couple of the top buttons of my shirt and was tickling my nipples. I tried to ignore that and keep my distance without too obviously pushing him away.
"You know Billy and I don't play around, Mark."
"I love you guys so much. Why can't you love me? I know it would be good."
"We do love you, Mark, just not that way, and I don't think that would be a good thing for any of us."
"Please, Danny, just once. Please?" He sounded so desperate. My heart really went out to him. I couldn't figure out why he was so needy.
Mark wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug, pinning my arms against my sides. I tried to pull away as much as I could. Just then I felt arms reach around me from the back and hands were fumbling with my belt. I twisted my neck around and saw Peter behind me.
"Peter! What are you doing? Stop that!"
"Relax, Danny, we just want to give you a special graduation present, something I'm sure you'll like." With that he grabbed my unfastened pants and in one motion pulled my jeans and briefs down around my ankles. When he straightened up he reached around me and held me in a tight hug and began pinching my nipples. I was struggling to break free but he really had a grip on me. Every time I moved I felt the hard lump in his jeans press against my butt.
"Go ahead, Mark. I've got him. He's all yours."
Mark let go and squatted down in front of me, taking my dick in his hand. I tried to kick at him but with my pants around my ankles my foot wouldn't go anywhere. He opened his mouth and leaned toward my dick. I was just able to bring my knee up slightly and knocked him in the chin. He lost his balance and fell backward.
"What the fuck in going on here?! Let go of him!"
I looked over my shoulder and saw Billy leaping off the back steps. I felt Peter's grip around me relax and I pulled away, reaching down for my pants. Billy practically picked Peter up and half threw and half pushed him over a table. He landed on his back and didn't get up. I looked down at Mark lying on the ground as I fastened my jeans. He looked up at me and started sobbing.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I'm so sorry. I don't know what got into me. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry."
It had all happened in something like two minutes and I was stunned. I just couldn't believe that these two friends had tried to force me into something like that. As it sunk in I started to cry. Billy took me in his arms and held me.
"It's all right, babe. They just got a little out of control. You're okay." He turned toward Mark and Peter who were both getting up off the ground. "Why don't you two get the fuck out of here? Go next door and sleep it off. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
They got up and headed across the yard without a word. I just held onto Billy, trembling.
"Come into the house, Dan. I think you need a drink."
We started up the back steps and I saw Lucy standing in the doorway.
"How much of that did you see, Lucy?"
"Pretty much the whole thing, Danny. I came out with Billy to help clean up. We didn't want you doing all the work."
"Please don't say anything to anyone about this, okay, Lucy?"
"Of course, Danny. It's nobody's business. Billy, you go see to your guests, I'll take care of Danny."
Lucy poured me a large brandy and we sat in the kitchen and she held my hand. The first sip of the brandy warmed me as it went down and I immediately relaxed.
"I really think Mark is losing his mind, Lucy. I can't believe he would do that."
"Neither can I. That was so unlike him but then he hasn't been himself the past year. Sometimes Peter seems to be helping him but sometimes I think he makes things worse."
"Yeah, he does what he thinks is best for Mark but it doesn't always turn out that way. Mark can be insecure and too often Peter just naturally takes advantage of Mark's weaknesses to get him to do what he wants. Maybe it's not deliberate, but it's just too convenient for Peter. He uses Mark but thinks he's helping him."
"Let's hope this knocks some sense into both of them."
"It might, Lucy. Mark seemed to really regret trying to force himself on me. I think he was shocked by what he had tried to do."
"Unfortunately he lives with Peter and sees him all the time. We almost never see him any more. It's hard to keep an eye on him that way."
"Yeah, but we have to try. He's our friend."