This is a story of love between two young men. If you are under age, or live in an area where reading stories that include sex between males is illegal, or if you're not into this type of story, please leave. The story began in 1969. While the characters and their story are completely fictional, it is set at places that are real and is told against a backdrop of some real events. This was a time when all sex was safe. It isn't now, so please respect yourself and others enough to always play safe.
I would like to thank all of those who have written to me with comments, suggestions and encouragement, especially my fellow writers in the Nifty Six. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at NJMcMick@yahoo.com.
September 1972
Mark
I just lay there in bed staring up into the darkness nearly all night. I decided that my life couldn't fall apart any more than it had. And the worst part was that I really didn't care. Well, I must have cared to some extent; I did lay there unable to sleep while Peter was lightly snoring next to me. But I think what kept me awake wasn't so much what I had done but the knowledge that I wasn't bothered by it and I knew that I should be.
It started out to be just another fun night at the baths. Peter and I had a couple of beers before we left the apartment and shared a joint as we walked. I was pretty stoned by the time we got there but that's the way I wanted to be. Toward the end of the summer we'd stopped getting a room and had switched to lockers. Since we were going a couple of nights a week it was cheaper that way. Besides, there were plenty of places in the building to have sex if we wanted. I'd long since stopped minding who was watching. In fact, it was kind of fun putting on a show and I loved watching the other shows going on. If we really wanted to have a little privacy after getting all boned up watching the others we could always leave and walk the few blocks to our apartment.
So we put all of our clothes in our lockers, wrapped towels around our waists and wandered around a while, ending up in the orgy room. We stood off to one side and watched the action, making out with each other. After a bit I knelt in front of Peter, pulled his hard dick out through the opening in his towel and took it in my mouth. I ran my tongue around the head, then sucked the shaft down into my throat. Peter's six inches or so was a perfect fit. Joe's was the only other cock I'd sucked and his was a bit smaller. After the first few tries I didn't have any problem with taking the whole length but I didn't think I'd be able to handle anything bigger. I loved having a dick in my mouth but six inches was plenty.
I had my arms wrapped around Peter's hips and my eyes closed and was just grooving on having him inside me. He was my own human lollipop. Looking back I realize I was pretty stoned but it all just felt so great. Usually I want to get fucked but being on my knees with a mouthful of hard dick was just what I needed right then. I didn't care who was watching; we could have been in the middle of Times Square and I wouldn't have cared. Peter had his hands on the back of my head, pulling me gently onto his cock, but mostly he was letting me set the pace. After a while he pushed my head back a bit. I looked up and he smiled down at me.
I noticed there was another guy standing next to him, his towel over his shoulder, stroking a cock that was about the same length as Peter's but maybe a little more slender. It was less than a foot from my face. I took my eyes off it and looked back up at Peter. He just smiled again and nodded toward the other cock. I turned back toward it and the guy moved in closer. As if it were something I did all the time I just opened my mouth and took it in. He tasted different from Peter, a bit muskier. His thin cock slid down my throat without a problem. As I bobbed up and down on it I realized that I hadn't even looked up at his face. I had no idea what the man attached to the cock in my mouth even looked like.
In a minute I switched back to Peter and began sucking on him. I became aware of someone standing on the other side of him. As I backed off Peter for some air I saw the newcomer's hard dick, much longer than the other two though not much thicker than Peter's. Without a second thought I took the new dick in my mouth and pushed down on it toward the base. I got within an inch of his pubes when I gagged a little. I pulled back and just sucked on the head for a while, then worked on the shaft again. After several tries I managed to swallow the whole thing. I worked on that big rod, trying to suck the life out of it. Peter still had his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair a bit, guiding me. I started alternating between the three cocks, working my way back and forth which let me spend twice as much time on Peter's. I noticed a few other guys had gathered around and were stroking themselves while watching me. I was so high and felt so decadent and sleazy but I was loving every minute of it.
I opened my towel and began pumping my own dick as I sucked the guys in front of me. The one to my left was rapidly jerking his meat as I sucked Peter and gasped as he began to shoot. The first shot his me on the cheek and he leaned forward so the rest landed on my face as well. When he was done he wiped his dick off on my face. The guy on my right began to cum and he also made sure he shot on my face. They moved back and were replaced by a couple of others from the small crowd. I closed my eyes and kept sucking on Peter but felt more shots of hot cum hitting my forehead and cheeks. Finally, I felt Peter swell in my mouth and he pushed all the way into me and shot his load down my throat. After he caught his breath he pulled his deflating cock out of my mouth grabbed me under the arms and helped me to my feet. It felt as if my face was completely covered with cum. I had no idea how many guys had unloaded on me. Peter stuck out his tongue and ran it up my right cheek, then kissed me, sharing the cum with me. He did that over and over until he had licked my face clean and we had swallowed all of the cum. Then he went down on his knees and took me in his mouth and sucked me until I finally exploded in him.
By that time the little crowd around us has dispersed and we wandered back downstairs to the showers. After we had cleaned up we went back to the lockers, got dressed and left. I was in a bit of shock about what I had done and didn't feel much like talking. Peter respected my silence but held my hand all the way back to the apartment. We went to bed right after we got home and Peter fell asleep almost immediately. I just lay there for hours, wondering what the hell I was doing and where my life was going.
"Hey, baby, it's all right. Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Peter! I didn't know you were awake."
"I woke up once before and could tell you were still awake. Don't let tonight get to you so much. What happened happened. I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it, the other guys enjoyed it. No big deal. Don't drive yourself crazy over it."
"The thing is, Peter, I did enjoy it. I really got off sucking all those cocks. And I'm not feeling guilty about it. I mean, you were right there and what I did obviously didn't bother you. But I feel like it should bother me. This isn't at all what I've always wanted my life to be about. I acted like a slut and I loved it. What does that mean?"
"Don't second guess yourself and try to figure out what everything means, baby. You were stoned and you had a good time. No one got hurt so don't obsess about it."
"That's easy for you to say. What I did is the kind of thing you've always been comfortable with. It's just not me."
"Well, maybe it is you, right now, anyway. Just let it go. Every minute of your life doesn't always have to make sense or fit in."
"Are you sure you're okay with it, Peter?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Now slide over here next to me and try to get some sleep."
October 1972
Lucy
I knew September was going to feel different this year, not going back to school, but I never in my worst nightmares imagined where I'd be right now. I started doing jobs for my friend George, a party here and there, but mostly portraits. Everybody wants new pictures of their kids in time for their Christmas cards.
The first week of October both Billy and Danny had their twenty-first birthdays. I took them out to eat at Cutter's Grill, a small Italian place here in town. They were finally old enough to drink in New Jersey.
"I can't believe you guys are just turning twenty-one. It feels like I've known you forever."
"Yeah, Luce, it does seem strange. Danny and I just celebrated our third anniversary last week and it just doesn't seem right that we only fell in love three years ago. I can barely remember life before Danny."
"Speaking of those early days, what are you doing about your photo show in New York, Lucy? Wasn't it going to be this month?"
"Yeah, it was, but when I went away this summer I lost all interest in it. I lost all interest in everything for a while, actually. I told the gallery we'd do it another time. I'm thinking of next March. I still want to get it done before you guys start teaching."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea, though I doubt if anyone from out here would ever see it in a little gallery in the city."
The boys both pigged out on lasagna with side orders of meatballs. I wish I could eat like they do. They just shovel it in and never gain a pound. After dinner we walked back to their house. I had helped them pick out some comfortable chairs and a small couch for their sunroom which were delivered right away so that at least gave them a place to entertain. The living room and dining room furniture was on order and was supposed to be in by Thanksgiving. I opened a bottle of Chianti I had brought over, poured three glasses and we got comfortable.
"So how are you doing, Lucy?"
"Not too bad, overall, Billy. I'm still sad a lot and cry a little most days. And I find myself daydreaming quite a bit. But I keep going, working on slowly putting my life together."
"Any specific plans for the future?"
"Not really, Danny. When I was in Puerto Rico, Aunt Connie said I should try to build as much of the life I want as I can, focusing on what is possible, not what isn't. What I always wanted in my life was a husband and children, my photography, and you guys, my friends. Brad is gone, so marriage is out now, but I've still got my work and you guys."
"We'll always be here for you, Lucy. You and Aunt Connie are family."
"I know, Danny, but it's so hard. I feel so alone most of the time. Well-meaning cousins in Puerto Rico tried to reassure me that I'd fall in love again someday but I'm nowhere near ready to even think about that. I still want to hold onto Brad for now, maybe for a long time." The boys gave each other a worried look. "Don't worry, guys, I'm not gonna be like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations, living the rest of my life in an old wedding gown, mourning for the marriage that never happened. I intend to keep on living, but I need to keep Brad with me for now."
"We know this has got to be so hard for you, Lucy. Whatever we can do, please don't hesitate to ask. Billy and I love you so much."
"Thanks, guys." I took a deep breath. I hadn't been sure I wanted to bring this up tonight but the time seemed right. "You know, I've had an idea rattling around in my head for the past few weeks, and it may sound crazy but I need to talk it out. And since it involves you two, maybe this would be a good time."
"Sure, Luce. Anytime you need to talk, just say so. Danny and I may talk a lot but we can be good listeners, too."
I hesitated a minute and killed some time topping off everyone's wine glass.
"Okay, like I said, this may sound crazy, but here goes. Just try not to dismiss it out of hand as the ravings of a grief-stricken lunatic."
"Enough of the dramatic buildup, girl, just spit it out."
"Oh, keep it in your pants, Billy. I'm just stalling because I'm nervous. Anyway, here it is. I've resigned myself to being single, alone romantically, for the foreseeable future, maybe for years, but I know that I still want to have children. And since I can't do that alone so I was thinking that that dream was over too. Then I realized, I've got two perfect assistants living right next door. So I was thinking that maybe the three of us could make some babies."
I hadn't intended to be so blunt about it and it appeared I had finally succeeded in rendering Billy and Danny speechless. They just sat there and stared at me, both of their mouths hanging open just a bit.
"C'mon, guys, it's not like I just proposed mass murder or anything. It's just an idea I had that I want to talk about. Maybe it is crazy, maybe it isn't, but I think we should discuss it."
Billy was the first to recover though he had to move his mouth a few times before anything came out.
"Girl, that really is a wild idea. It's really extreme. I mean, it's not like going away for a while to adjust to your grief. Or, in the case of Danny and me, buying a house. You're talking about creating a new life, a person. What made you think of this?"
"I agree it sounds off the wall, but think about it. I've always wanted kids, lots of kids. And you and Danny have both said you did too, though obviously you couldn't have them together. So we're three good, decent, loving people who want children and find we can't have them in a traditional way. All three of us would make good parents. Together, we'd be great."
"But Lucy, it's just too weird. I realize that most people would think of Billy and me as having an unconventional lifestyle, though we think we're pretty normal. But this would really be unconventional."
"Yes, Danny, it would certainly be different. But as you have pointed out in the past, different doesn't have to mean better or worse, sometimes it's just different."
"And besides, we're all so young, way too young to be parents."
"I thought Billy was getting you out of thinking in that kid mode, Danny. I'm not talking about doing this tonight. Besides, all of our parents became parents in their late teens or early twenties."
"Yeah, and some of them didn't do a very good job of it either, Luce."
"I know, Billy, but there are three of us to help each other. And we've got Aunt Connie, too."
"Oh my gosh, Aunt Connie! She'd have a stroke if we did this. She'd totally freak out."
"Don't be so sure, Danny. She's seen a lot in her life. I think she'd be pretty shocked and against the idea at first, but she might surprise us."
The three of us talked for a couple more hours on the subject and worked our way through the bottle of wine. Each of us seemed to come up with more reasons not to pursue this than to do it, even me. By the time I left I definitely hadn't convinced them it was a good idea, but that wasn't really my point in bringing it up in the first place. What I needed was to find out if I thought it was a good idea. I needed their input on that. Between the three of us we raised all kinds of issues I hadn't considered on my own. Once their shock wore off we had a good discussion, both theoretical and practical. By the end about the only thing we agreed on was that we had a lot to think about.
Billy
Lucy's idea really threw Danny and me for a loop, maybe because it seemed to come out of left field. It was so totally unexpected. We were both a little quiet while getting ready for bed later. We each got under the comforter from opposite sides of the bed and crawled toward each other, meeting in the middle of the gigantic bed. When our lovemaking occasionally got a little wild having such a huge bed was an advantage. But when it came to cuddling and sleeping we really didn't need much space. We wrapped our arms and legs around each other and just held on for a while. I nuzzled Danny's neck, reveling in his clean masculine scent.
"Do you think Lucy's gone off the deep end, Billy? I thought she was doing pretty well up until tonight."
I pulled back so we could face each other while we talked. We lay on our sides about a foot apart, each tracing invisible lines on the other's chest with our fingertips.
"No, Dan, I think she's doing all right, considering. She was pretty rational all through the discussion. This doesn't seem like some kind of insane grief reaction."
"But you've got to admit it's pretty strange, Billy."
"Yeah, it sure is. But it's interesting to think about. Having kids is something we all want."
"I know, it would be a way for all of us to get what we want, but we can't just think about us. The most important thing to think about is the children we'd be making. What kind of life would they have?"
"I know, baby. It would be a really different kind of family life."
"Yeah, Billy. They'd be of mixed race, part Hispanic, born out of wedlock and raised in a non-traditional family. That would be a tough life for a kid."
"I've been thinking the same thing, Danny. But you know, it just hit me, you just described Lucy. She's all those things and look how wonderful she turned out."
"You're right. I forget what a mixed up background she has sometimes. Aunt Connie sure deserves a lot of credit for an incredible job of parenting."
"Yes, she does. And if we decided to have kids we'd have her to help us but it would still be a hard life for the kids. On top of everything else they'd have gay fathers. That's something Lucy didn't have to deal with."
"There are all kinds of things for us to think about, Billy. We talked about so much tonight and you and I have just come up with more."
"Yeah, and we haven't even gotten into the real practical stuff. Like, which house would they live in? Can we all afford kids? What would their last names be? Would our schedules work out with being parents? There are just too many questions."
Danny pulled me close and clung to me tightly.
"But you and Lucy would make really beautiful babies, Billy."
"Me and Lucy? You and Lucy would have gorgeous kids, Danny."
"Well, we can at least dream, can't we, Billy?"
November 1972
Danny
We seemed to be spending more time talking about Lucy's idea than studying for school this semester. It wasn't like it was all we talked about but the subject almost always came up. Between the three of us we came up with a thousand reasons why us having babies was a bad idea. But the more we talked about it the more the idea appealed to all of us.
The night before Thanksgiving Lucy came over for supper with us. Billy made pork chops, sort of like his mother's. I made a salad and steamed some broccoli and Lucy helped me make cornbread. We still weren't very good in the kitchen but at least we were down to having macaroni and cheese only once a week now. Over dinner we caught Lucy up on all of the news from Rutgers, not that we were very involved in much on campus anymore. We still went to some of the League meetings but Reggie and Ron had both graduated in May so we didn't have any good friends there now. We spent more time hanging out with friends from the Alliance. And now that we had our own house there was always stuff to do at home so we didn't hang around campus much once classes were over.
After we ate we went into the living room. The furniture had finally arrived so the house was done, at least for a while. We still had two empty rooms upstairs but we really didn't need them for anything so furnishing them could wait.
"So boys, are we gonna expand our little family?"
"Oh Lucy, we keep talking and talking about it but it just doesn't seem like something we can do. There's a tremendous difference between talking and doing. It's a huge decision and a tremendous commitment."
"It is, Danny, but it's not that overwhelming. When I first brought it up I wasn't really sure what I thought about it. But the more we talk about it the more convinced I am that we should do this. We'd make great parents."
"I don't follow you, Luce. All we've been talking about the past six weeks are reasons not to have kids together. How do you think this would be good for us to do?"
"We've put a lot of thought into this whole thing, Billy. Yeah, we've come up with lots of problems, but we've also come up with lots of ways around them. I think just the fact that we've all thought so much about this shows how committed we'd be. And how much we all really want this."
"We'd all would love to have kids in theory, Luce, and we have put a lot of thought into it. But most of our discussions have been purely hypothetical. I'm not sure either Danny or I have seriously thought that it might actually happen. It's sort of like a nice dream."
"You mean that you really don't want children, Billy?"
"You know I do, Lucy. But on top of everything else I'm a little scared to be a father. Look at my father, the way he abused me. What if that's genetic or something?"
"You're not the same kind of person as your father, Billy. The guy who's held me in his arms every night for over three years, who's loved me, comforted me, supported me, could never hurt anyone he loved. You're not like him at all."
"Maybe, Danny, but having a child is such a responsibility."
"You two are the most responsible guys I know. Look at how you take care of each other. Look at how you've put your lives together. I know you can handle it. Besides, we've always got Aunt Connie to fall back on for help when we need her."
"Oh, God! Aunt Connie would die if she even knew we were talking about this. She's an amazingly open-minded, loving woman, but I don't think she'd deal with this very well."
"Actually, I talked to her last night, Danny. And while she was shocked, she didn't freak out. I think she understood where I was coming from and why we would all want to have kids but she has lots of reservations. I think if we all talked to her she'd come around, though."
"I think just the opposite is more likely, Lucy. She'd probably get us to see it from a whole different point of view and make us realize how dumb this idea is."
"I agree she'll have a different perspective, Danny, but I don't think any of us really think it's a dumb idea. Impractical and unworkable, maybe, but not dumb. Anyway, we'll talk it all out with her when you come over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow."
The next day Billy and I were a little nervous going next door to see Aunt Connie. We let ourselves in the back door and found her alone in the kitchen basting the turkey. We both hesitated a bit in the doorway.
"So which one of you boys is talking about getting Lucy pregnant?"
"Uh, we hadn't got that far, Aunt Connie. Both, I guess."
"I may be a Spanish teacher but I remember enough biology to know that it only takes one man to get a woman pregnant, Danny. It isn't a team effort."
"Well, you know, I guess we haven't decided yet. Where's Lucy?" I couldn't tell how Aunt Connie was feeling about this and was looking for reinforcements.
"Relax, boys, I'm not going to bite your heads off. I may have had a pretty conservative upbringing but I've seen a lot in my life. Lucy is upstairs taking a shower which gives us a chance to talk alone for a few minutes."
"So what do you think, Aunt Connie?"
"I think you three are awfully young, Billy."
"We're not that young and Billy and I have lived through a lot. So has Lucy."
"I don't mean you're children, Danny. You're more mature than most people your age. I just think that this is a time when you should all just try to enjoy life, to have some fun. You've got your whole lives with all kinds of work and responsibilities ahead of you and you've all worked so hard just to get to the place where you're going to start. I wish you could take it easy for a while."
"We do work hard, Aunt Connie, but we have fun, too. Danny and I go out after work a lot and we spend lots of time hanging out with friends. We put in a lot of hours on school and work, but we relax and enjoy life, too. Maybe not as much as other kids our age, but it's enough for us."
"I know, boys. I just hate to see you pile more responsibilities on yourselves when you've been through so much already."
"Believe me, we're not anxious to have more work or responsibility but we don't think this would be so overwhelming. After all, there are three of us to share the load."
"You mean four, Danny. If you did this I'd be right here helping you all the way. But are you sure this is right for you at this time in your lives?"
"Maybe this isn't the perfect time. After all, in six months we'll finally be done with school and be starting our careers. But as Billy pointed out last night when he and I were talking about it, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the two of us. Lucy has a lot of years ahead of her where she may meet someone, fall in love again and have kids. But this chance to have children will never come our way again. It's not like another woman we love is gonna come along and offer to have our babies."
"Yeah, that doesn't happen every day. Maybe that makes us a little selfish but it gives the whole discussion a little more urgency for Danny and me. For us it's not a question of now or later but more one of now or never."
"I hadn't looked at it that way, Billy. I suppose you boys really have thought a lot about this idea. Lucy and I have talked about it from her perspective quite a bit the last few days. At first I thought this was just some passing reaction to her grief but I can see she's thought it through as well. I do think that all three of you would be wonderful parents. It's just that I know how hard it can be, especially given your life circumstances."
"Yeah, it wouldn't be easy for us or our children, but we'd all work together. I think we could make it work."
"There's so much love here. Lately with the divorce rate skyrocketing a lot of kids are growing up in unusual family settings and a lot have to deal with all kinds of animosity between their parents. Often, the kids are caught in the middle. At least with Lucy, Danny and me, the kids will have three parents who love them and love each other. That's got to mean a lot."
"That does mean a lot, Billy. You three have something special between you. Maybe you would make a good family."