Hi, this is my first ever posting. It's my story so I hope you enjoy it.
Big Black Cock
By Debbi Williams
I am completely obsessed by BBC (Big Black Cock) & totally in awe of the men they belong to. I feel inferior & intimidated by black men but as a submissive it only fuels the attraction. God,they are just so damn sexy, no white man comes close. One glimpse of a Black man & I become weak at the knees desperate to be a slut for him. It feels so natural for me to want & need to be their sissy whore. Black men are superior beings & I believe white trash deserve nothing more than to be sex slaves for them & strive to give them the best orgasm possible. I give my body to use as a receptacle for their wonderfully beautiful BBC & what it produces. I would consider it an honour to be able to love & look after all their needs like a good wife should. I request only to be fed his black cock on a regular basis. I don't think or care about anything else except being black owned.
I'd always felt more attracted to men & was very curious about sucking cocks but managed to keep it to a weekly wanking fantasy and led a normal hetro life until a year ago. I was surfing the web during a wanking session and came across a site with pictures & videos of black guys dominating white sissies. My god it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen! The black guys were gorgeous big muscular dominants with massive cocks who fucked the sissies senseless. The sissies looked like they absolutely loved it. They accommodated their Masters any way they could & were so eager to please the beautiful BBC & receive the tasty cum as their reward. The Black men made me feel a complete sub who wanted to be used like the sissies in the video. It made me so horny I put on my girlfriends panties & wanked myself silly. The seed was sown & I was hooked on BBC! I started searching the net for anything to do with black doms & white sissies. I joined loads of yahoo groups dedicated to the worship of BBC, niggerworship.org & any other sites that shared my love of BBC. It was great to find likeminded people with pictures & videos to share. I read lots of stories on nifty about white subs becoming black owned. One story I love in particular, it's called "The Undercard" by D.O. I've read it hundreds of times, `Jax Bishop' is a God & I'm so jealous of Cody, the lucky bitch! Any chance I got I would be searching the web for more and more BBC related porn.
Since then my life has changed dramatically. I lost my girlfriend of 3 years & who I had thought I would marry. Over the last few months I was more interested in my Black cock fantasy's & desires than in sex with her. Even when I did make the effort I found that it felt weird & didn't excite me so I couldn't get hard. It wasn't her fault that I could no longer fulfil her needs so I encouraged her to go out with her "friends" more, knowing she wasn't seeing her friends as I had found out she was cheating on me. I didn't blame her. She deserved a real man to treat her like the woman she is. I knew who he was, he was a hunk, and he would treat her good. I was only jealous that she was getting cock and I wasn't. When I confronted her, she admitted to it, finished the relationship & left to move in with him. She explained to me that she the reason she cheated was because apart from the lack of sex she didn't fancy me, didn't know what she had ever seen in me. I had changed dramatically over the last 6 months she said. I now reminded her of a gay guy at college who was a best friend she could talk to all night & never feel anything sexual towards. She even joked that she should give me his mobile number so we could hook up. I should have been humiliated that she'd cheated on me & losing her should have mattered to me but it didn't. I told her that I wasn't upset, that my feelings had changed & I was happy for her. She raged that a real man would not just sit there like a fucking pansy, he would be angry that his girlfriend had cheated on him & want to smack the other guy. She said that she totally hated me and was just glad to get away. As soon as she left I was on the web, wanking & fingering my hole over Black men. I knew then I'd never want to be with a woman again.
Within days of her leaving my bedroom wall became covered in posters of Black sportsmen, pop & movie stars. I threw myself into my sissy life, I grew my hair & nails, shaved my body & bought feminine clothes, make up & shoes online. I threw out all my male underwear & only wore the most feminine pink panties, even to work. At home I was Lucy at all times, totally consumed by trying to be as feminine as I could & learn how to be as pretty as possible for men to enjoy. Everything in my life was dedicated to being the best sissy slut I could be & there was no doubt I was happier this way.
I also bought a nice thick 8" dildo, in black of course, which I gave the name "Jax". I suck & fuck Jax every day. It has a sucker on the bottom which I stick to the wall so I can get on my knees & worship it. I love having it in my mouth as I kiss, lick, suck & slobber all over it. I then stick it on a chair, lower myself onto it & ride it cowgirl, moaning uncontrollably in ecstasy & crying out in lustful frenzy. I have filmed myself while doing this and love to watch it and see how much of a sissy slut I am. Having my boipussy fucked by a dildo is absolutely amazing & feels so much more natural than hetro sex ever did. I even stopped wanking as I found that I cum from the dildo fucking alone.
One evening I sat my mum down & told her that I was a gay sissy, that I longed to fall in love with a Black man & thought of myself more a woman than a man & preferred to be called Debbi. She told me everyone was gossiping about me being gay so it was no surprise to be told it & that alone would have been hard to deal with but not impossible. The cross-dressing on the other hand was too much & disgusted her. She said she loved me but would not be able to support me, nor would my dad as he was a total homophobic. She begged me to snap out of it and get a nice wife and live a normal life. I tried to explain that being gay & sissy is not a choice to be made & if she can't accept me then we should go our separate ways. We both cried our eyes out that night. The next day she phoned and told me that we could communicate only by email as she couldn't even look at me as I was a perverted bastard who is disgracing the family & that my dad is totally disgusted & wanted to come round and beat me up. She'd managed to stop him but they were publicly disowning me so she hoped I would move away and find happiness somehow but if I changed back to normal she would welcome me back with open arms. I told my mum that I think she is a wonderful woman who I love very much but I knew that sacrifices would have to be made in my new life. That I want to become more of a woman in the future but hoped one day she would accept me as her sissy daughter.
I lost all my old friends; I had nothing left in common with them. I never told them I was gay but they know & avoid me if they see me in the street. The only person I consider as a friend I have is a work colleague called Misty. I've known her for the 2 years I've worked at the call centre, we also work the same shifts. One Friday she invited me for an after work drink and while in the pub actually asked me if I was gay. I was shocked but I'd made a pact with myself that if anyone asked that question I would be honest & proudly answer "YES". I asked her how she knew. She laughed and said it was obvious from the change in me since my girlfriend left, my personality, my demeanour, the way I walk & even my voice. In fact everything about me was much more feminine. All the girls at work had noticed it & rumours had spread around the workplace. She asked what happened with my girlfriend and had I had an injection of gayness. That's the way she put, it certainly broke the ice. I burst out laughing and told her that unfortunately I'd had no cock injections yet, just dildo ones but hopefully that would change soon. We had a great night, we gossiped about work mates & what guys we thought were hot or not. It felt great that she accepted me for what I am & she gave me nothing but encouragement to follow my dream of BBC.
My lust for BBC now leaves me unable to live my life in the small rural town in Scotland I'm from so I am now ready to move south. What I want, I can't get here & what I am, they don't want here. I feel no guilt over what I've become. plove being this way & am well past the point of caring what people think of me. I'm happy that people now know I'm gay & when out I make sure I'm wearing jeans that are extra tight around my butt & t-shirts that are too small. The thought of some guy liking what he sees, going home & having a wank over me turns me on immensely. My mum saw me like that one day, shook her head & walked straight past me, I laughed & shouted hi mum as feminine as I could. I knew it would have angered her & it was bitchy but I couldn't help it. I sent her an email about it, not to apologise but to tell her that I was the happiest I'd ever been, only the love of a black man could make me happier & I was relocating to find that love. The next day I handed a transfer request in at work but I'm not sure where to relocate to (Any help readers?).
Once moved I'm going to get my ears, tongue & bellybutton pierced & also a tattoo representing my love of BBC (any suggestions?). I want to start hormone treatment but I feel that is best leaving for my Master to decide if he wants me to. I will post my profile online & start the search for BBC. I hope I do not have to wait much longer to live as a Black cock whore. I'm so excited that soon my transformation will be complete. It was never a choice more of a calling but I happily know I'll never be anything else.
Thanks a lot for taking the time to read. Please, any feedback good or bad, either way I want to know what you all thought (especially black men) so feel free to email me at: sissy.debbi@live.com