It's been five years since I retired from the army. After serving 12 years, I retired 1st. Lt. Kirk Williams company B, First battalion Seventy Fifth Infantry. I saw a lot of bloody battles. I made a lot of friends, and I buried a lot of friends. I dared to go against the grain when I joined the army, an institution that stood for patriotism, heroism, and comraderie. I lead my troops with an iron fist and made men out of boys. I guess nature threw me a curve ball...because I am gay.
My being gay didn't have any influence on me being a man, and I didn't let my sexual preference dictate my life. Instead, I chose to ignore my needs for love by providing myself with personal satisfaction in the privacy of the bathroom, and dealt with my life as 'normal' as possible. I was raised with my grandfather who was a military man. My mother lived in another state, and my father died in a gun fight with some thugs. He was a policeman, and after my father's death mom decided that it would be best that I grew up with a strong male influence. Who best fit that description but my grandfather ? I grew up in a house with strict rules. My grandfather instilled values that didn't really support my lifestyle which is why I decided early in life to go against all stereotypes.
At 6'3", 230lbs. of young muscular chocolate flesh with 8 and a half inches of dick for dicking down fresh pussy, I would surpassed many of the stereotypes during my time. I decided fresh out of high school, instead of college, to join the army.
After reaching a certain point in the Army, I retired and decided to live a civilian life. I was ready to venture out into the world. A year before my retirement, my grandfather passed away, and at that point I felt I had lived long enough by his standards. I never got into any trouble. I only drank alcohol during social activities, and marijuana stunk so 'reefer' was out of the question. I fucked a few girls, and jerked off with a couple of guys before but never allowed myself to actually get deep into any intimate stuff with a guy.
Upon returning home I landed a nice job as a computer analyst/graphics designer. My life was my work. I woke up, went to work, came home, and that was it. I had some acquaintances that I saw only at work. I enjoyed the simple things. There was this girl I was fucking whenever the need arised...only to put up a good reputation. Her name was Tiffany and she was a knockout. She was very shapely, caramel complexion with hazel eyes that were like a young dow. She had soft lips, and her body was so small and petite but curved in all the right places. She had ghetto ass and her hair was cut short like Jada Pinket-Smith. She had nice full, round breasts and her pussy was nice and tight. After being stroked the right way with my tongue, her well would overflow, and she became Niagara Falls. We would hook up every so often after work, and chill at my place. Tiff , as I call her, would hook us up something to eat. We would kick back, watch some sattelite television, and eventually fucking until I felt she was content. I admit I was never satisfied because she was not what I really wanted. I wanted a man. Not just any type of man. I wanted a man like myself or better. He had to be strong, dominant, and passionate. Though my deep feelings were for I man, I played my role as a heterosexual and made sure that Tiffany was always satisfied. I never gave any indication that I was gay. I also didn't give any indication of settling down with her. I dealt with Tiffany when I needed to deal with her. Don't get me wrong, I called her during the week to make sure she was okay, but I focused so much of my time on work that I didn't get caught up in the 'why you haven't been calling me' game. She knew my schedule in the beginning so we established how we were going to deal with one another form the beginning. Though we were fucking, she was not my girlfriend and we both knew that. On occassions, she would ask me to go out. Basically, she wanted me to take her on a date. I did it 3 times, but I felt so uncomfortable kissing and shit in public that I didn't bother asking to do it again. Instead, whenever she asked I would make up an excuse about having so much work. After a while, she stopped asking to go out with me. That was fine by me.
Well time had progressed, a year had passed and I was still living the same simple life. I was still seeing Tiffany, but she was now ready for settling down so we weren't exactly on the same page anymore. We were definitely still fucking, but lately she was starting to become more emotional about our arrangement. After debating the next level of our relationship with Tiffany, I had decided that we would stop fucking and just remain friends. She wasn't trying to hear that shit. I was every motherfucker in the book. I was ready to treat her ass like a mutt and really kick her to the curb, but fate threw a curveball and my company promoted me. That changed my frame of mind one hundred and eighty degrees. My promotion would mean that I would not have to work like a slave, instead it would allow me to live comfortably. Though it would be only human nature to go over the edge with my new income, I decided to chill. Instead, I decided to celebrate and Tiffany was shocked to know that I wanted to celebrate with her. Instead of retaliating with fire, I thought it would be in my best nature to smoothe things over with Tiffany by being a gentleman.
Tiffany and I decided to go out to a nice bar with a sit-down restaurant that also had a dancing section. Since I was feeling in a good mood, I decided to let loose for a minute. I stood on the dance floor, and she danced around me as I did a basic two step. Tiffany was having a good time, and so was I. We laughed and we talked, and we even buried the hatchet agreeing to hook up every so often for a 'reunion fuck'. I realized by the top of the night that much of our conversation was alcohol induced. I thought to myself 'damn I like her better when I am drunk' then laughed out loud. She looked at me crazily then she started to laugh. I noticed that she was looking at the dance floor again.
"Hey you want to hit the floor again?" she asked obviously feeling her drinks.
"Naw not this round. My ass is tired. Go ahead and I will be watching you. Don't dance to hard I might get hard and want you to dance for me naked." I said flirting with her. Now I knew that I was drunk.
She smiled seductively and said "Now we wouldn't want that to happen now would we."
I looked at her and smiled then shooed her away from me. Laughing at our antics. As Tiffany danced until her heart was content, I watched her. She had found this nice looking young guy to groove with, and he obviously had more then just dancing on his mind. I was glad that someone had took her attention off of me. I got up and strolled over to the bar. I ordered another Long Island Iced Tea, and a Hennessey and Coke drink. I was sitting and I noticed this guy out the corner of my eye talking shit to the barteneder. They obviously were joking around, but he was so damn loud and boisterous that I was curious what they were talking about. I glanced over and I looked at the guy who was loud, and he looked familiar. I looked at him trying to place where I knew him. I was having trouble remembering where I knew him from. Tiffany came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"Playa, are you ready to get your private dance?" she said as her hand moved towards my thigh area.
I smiled and said "Yeah I think I am ready for that private dance."
I got up and began walking to the door. Just as I begin to leave the building, I remembered his name out loud which startled Tiffany.
"Who is Captain Barnes?" she asked.
"Captain from the army. He was cool as shit, but strict as a motherfucker. I remember his loud talking anywhere." I said as I turned pulling her along to go speak to the Captain. I walked up behind him and saluted him in my best army salute. Being Captain Barnes he snapped to attention and ordered 'At Ease soldier'. I smiled and gave him a brotha man hug.
"Was Sup Captain Barnes...I knew that was you from across the room." I said.
"Well I could tell from that country ass salute that it had to be someone from company B, Seventy Fifth Infantry. All yall sounding like you was straight out of a plantation" he joked.
"Umm Hmm" Tiffany signaled me to introduce her.
"Oh my fault Captain, this here is Tiffany. We were out celebrating my promotion." I informed him.
"Oh congratulations, bring a round of tequila Chuck, we got us a new Captain" Captain Barnes said not realizing that I wasn't in the army anymore.
"Uh sir, I am retired from the army. I was talking about my job as a computer analyst. I was promoted at my job." I said
"You aren't in the army any more. You said you retired. You're too young to be retired. You haven't been shot yet. You know how many fire fights I have been in, and you are retired. Why I should make you drop and give me a hundred. Well shit, you are civilian I can't grind on your ass, but I can get you drunk. Here's to the army." Captain Barnes handed me my shot, and gave me a firm grasp on the shoulders.
"To Good Times in the army" he toasted. Then he slammed down the tequila shot. The Captain, Tiffany, and I drank and drank. Laughing as he told us story after story. Although he wasn't the captain of my unit, we did interact on the base quite often. Captain William Barnes was Headquarter company, First Battalion Seventy-Fifth Infantry.
He was very dedicated to the army, and he definitely didn't take any shit. But off base, he was lively and always at the 'watering hole.' I looked at Captain Barnes as a father figure although he was only eight years older then me. I still had to give it to him at 38 he looked as though he was my age. He definitely was in peak physical shape. Tiffany went back onto the dance floor slightly annoyed because my attention was on the captain. We talked about how things where in the army, and he informed me of all that had taken place after I left.
After talking and drinking for over an hour, I finally decided to call it a night. He informed me to stay in touch with him, and then Tiffany and I went home to my place. When we got there, Tiffany found some reserved energy and she pulled me down unto the floor. I fucked her on the stairs giving it to her the way she liked it...nice and hard. I found myself pounding away at her pussy which was so wet. I actually was engrossed in making her cum. I saw the way her face contorted as I was stroking her clitoris with my dick. I began to drive in deeper the whole time imagining if it felt this way with a guy. I was imagining me in Tiffany's position. I wondered would I take it like a soldier or would I be yelping like Tiffany was now. Before I knew it, she was digging her nails into my back and I was cumming streams of cum into the condom. I was spent, and part of me was content just laying on the stairs and going to sleep.
The next day, I woke to breakfast in bed. I must admit I hit that ass about two more times that night before the alcohol really took a hold of me. She was looking good as usual. she kissed me before she left for work. Tiffany was definitely in a good mood, and I believe she only wanted me sometimes for a quick, convenient fuck. I am glad that was all she wanted, because deep inside I was in turmoil. That night I had dreamt of the young guy grinding on Tiffany. In my dreams, he was pressed tightly up against me, and Tiffany was looking at us with tears in her eyes. I was wrapped tightly in his arms, and his penis was rubbing up against mine. When I woke from this dream, I was fully aroused and I admit that was one of the reasons why I fucked Tiffany more then once that night. I was thinking about the young guy pounding my ass, and the more I thought about him pounding me...I pounded her. She moaned and screamed and so did I. Not from the physical pleasure she was providing. I was experiencing the psychological pleasure my on dream was providing, and it felt good.
I noticed that doing the following weeks, I was noticing little things that was attractive about some of the guys I ran into at work. Like the delivery boy who wears these tight little shorts and they fit his butt so snug but aren't necessarily spandex tight. I would imagine me fucking him in the elevator, and him sucking my dick. In my sight, he was so feminine. Or when I would come across Andre, the weight trainer, I would imagine him locking my legs in the missionary position and piledriving my ass until I orgasmed. Many days, I left so aroused that it hurt to even walk. I occupied my time by doing house chores, or running errands.
One day after a long day at work, I decided that I would go to the gym and then to the movies. Tiffany and I were finally starting to part ways, and though I was relieved by this, I did miss her company. I arrived at the gym, and did an hour work-out. After showering and ignoring advances by men and women, I went to pick up something to eat. Then I went to see Along Came A Spider. The movie was good, and Morgan Freeman is a good actor. He played his role well. After the movie, I was ready to go home. As I was exiting the movie theatre someone called my name, but they called me as Lt. Williams. I turned wondering who this could be that was calling me by my army rank and all.
"Well, if this isn't a chance encounter, soldier. You look like you just got caught with your dick in your hand." Captain Barnes laughed as he extended his hands for a handshake.
"Was sup, Captain. I knew you were a stalker but I didn't think you'd be stalking me." I joked as I shook his hand.
"Where the hell are you rushing off too. What is it...that hot girl...what's her name Tiffany? She looks like a winner." Captain Barnes asked jokingly.
"Naw, we are not seeing each other anymore." I replied.
"Well ain't that a bitch. If I had of known that I would have put in my bid at the bar." he said jokingly.
"Sir, I do believe you are married. I don't think the misses would appreciate that one bit." I said.
"Well the misses don't have any say in what I do, and we are divorcing anyway, so it wouldn't matter." he replied.
"Sorry to hear that, sir" I said.
"Well I knew you were sorry, but you don't have to be about me getting a divorce. I always look at the chance for new pussy as a welcomed opportunity. An I always believe in equal opportunity. And enough with this sir, and captain bullshit. We are not at the barracks. Call me that when you reenlist. Right now, call me Will. By the way, where exactly are you off too? he asked.
"Well, I was going home and just kick back and relax." I said.
"Why don't you follow 'the tank', and let's go hang out at this new tittie bar downtown." he said.
"The 'tank'?" I asked.
"Yeah, 'The Tank' my Navigator truck. I call it 'The Tank.' " he said.
"Oh okay!. I don't have any problems with that. I could use a drink." I said.
I went to my car, and he pulled up beside me. About fifteen minutes later , we were entering The Vanity Garden, this new club that had strippers, belly dancers and a sit down restaurant. I was impressed at how they had the place decorated. It was decorated like a harem, and the female waiters were dressed in harem outfits and the men were dressed as eunuchs. The music was regular hip-hop/r-n-b, but when the females performed they used arabic music or african music. This place was nice. The bar was nice, and the bartender, Dyn' Juan, was very cool. He obviously knew Captain Barnes, because he prepared him a gin and juice drink right away. After slamming down five drinks, I was relaxed enough to feel comfortable around the captain. Captain Barnes talked about how his wife was angry with him for reenlisting, and that she asked for a divorce because she felt he loved his work better. Although, this to me was a painful subject to discuss, it didn't bother him. He laughed about being able to keep up with the girls at this bar, and then he talked more about the military. After some grub and some more drinks, the alcohol began to really take its toll. Captain Barnes talked about finally being free to enjoy his career, and also travel and do what he wanted. We debated back and forth over war strategies, and went from that to how the government is fucked up. I found out that he had a masters in psychology, and a bachelors in applied physics. I was impressed while enlisted I majored in computer technology and I minored in psychology. I found that we had a lot of things in common. Technically in astrology we were opposites, he was an air sign and I was a fire sign but we had a lot in common. We looked at the strippers and I was amazed at how limber the belly dancers were. We talked about some of the hot girls on base, and then we drunk some more. We got into a heated discussion about war. We also got into a heated discussion about the difference in self -defense and being violent. I debated and he debated passionately. Although, he was as drunk as a skunk he really was quite alert, and made some valid points. I was impressed. As the night progressed, I began to notice things about the captain that made me feel uneasy. I noticed the smootheness of his skin, and the roughness of his hands. I noticed during discussions he looked deeply into my eyes, and there was a sparkle from the light. I noticed his thich black eyelashes, and his thin lips. I noticed his chest though he was slim, you could tell he did push-ups or lifted weights. I guess I was noticing things of attraction. As he continued to talk, I would study the movements of his lips as they parted to form words. I would imagine them touching my lips lightly before we connected in a passionate kiss. Every so often he would say something to bring me out of my fantasy. I would make open ended remarks to make converstaion, and then I would just watch him run with the topic. I was content just watching him be unruly, and curse, and act a fool.
At about 2 a.m. I had to call it quites. I was tired and I knew that I had things to take care of on Saturday. But I made up my mind that a late start wouldn't stop me from finishing my tasks. Captain Barnes, though we were both drunk, offered to take me home. I looked at him and laughed at the fact that he thought he was capable of taking me home. I settled for him following me home. We parted ways once I got to my house, and after a nice shower, I crashed in the bed. I had a hot dream about me and the captain. I woke with a major hard-on. I needed to relieve myself bad. I unleashed my dick, and began to stroke slowly. I thought about the captian, and began to speed up until I was moaning. My eyes closed tightly, and my lips quivering as I approached a massive orgasm. I moaned loudly as the first stream of cum landed on my lip. Then the rest landed on my chin, my chest, and finally my stomach. I convulted because of my excitement. After laying about 2 minutes to recuperate, I got up, wiped myself off, showered, checked the time, and was off to the office to sign off on some paper work. During the day, I couldn't help but think about the captain. I was almost ready to stop pass the base to see whether or not he was there, but then I thought about him asking my purpose for coming to the base. I quickly changed my mind.
Weeks went past and I still thought about the captain. I was still having erotic fantasies about this man. I was definitely infatuated with him, but I didn't have the courage to even approach him on a platonic level. Instead, I settled for fantasies about him. I also noticed that during my fantasies about him my body became more sensitive. When Tiffany and I fucked it was good. We were intense but these new sensations that I would get made me think a lot about giving up my body to another man. I had never been penetrated by another man nor have I penetrated another man. I had never given oral sex to a man nor have I received oral sex, but in my fantasies I was sucking the captain's dick, and I was letting him fuck me. I was definitely caught up. I was enthralled by everything about him. I liked his 'Al Bundy' mannerisms and way of thinking. I liked his aggressiive nature. It was that much more excitng to see it on a black man. I liked the fact that he never showed signs of weakness. I like his simplistic nature. His lack of concern for material things. I liked the fact that he did everything he wanted to do, and he answered to no one but GOD. Even the army allowed him to be himself. I thought that I was infatuated, but deep inside I knew that I was in love with Captain Barnes. That explained my feelings of security when we were together. It explained how normal lust filled fantasies turned into me being in a sort of masculine house wife type of role. I wanted to be his second half. I might be going over board but I did want him deeply.
After a week of meetings and typed papers and debates with my boss, I was ready to jump off a cliff. I hadn't been sleeping well and I wasn't eating right either. I was moody, and I was in a sexual drought. I didn't even have the strength to masterbate. I needed to get away. I guess someone up above was listening, because late Thursday night I received a call from Captain Barnes. He invited me to go out to his cabin for the weekend, and we would kick back and chill with some beers, some nature, and whatever else. Of course, I didn't give the invitation a second thought. I was game for it. I called out of work for the weekend, and immediately began packing my stuff. I hadn't been in the woods in a long while, and I was excited about being in the woods especially with Captain Barnes. After he called me, my day seemed to get brighter. I was so full of energy. He said he would be picking me up at 700 hrs and that was good for me.
I showered, double checked my packed bags, and then thought of different scenarios that could play out this weekend. After all that fantasizing, I came back to reality. First, the captain didn't know I was gay. Secondly, he didn't give off any vibes that he was gay. Third, he invited me as an army buddy, coming on to him would ruin our relationship as well as get my ass kicked. I decided to put my lust for him at ease, and settle for a fun weekend. I went to sleep anxious for my weekend to begin.
I woke up at about 6 in the morning. I took a shower, and got dressed. I had some coffee and a couple of bagels then I was ready for the captain to pick me up. At about a quarter to seven, I heard Captain Barnes beeping his horn. I opened the door, waved to let him know I was coming, grabbed my three bags, and went out to the truck to load up.
"Well, I thought you were going to back out at the last minute but I see you are up and ready" the Captain stated.
"Yeah well who else is going to show you how it's really done in the wood" I joked.
"We will see how much of a man you really are once we get there" the Captain stated.
I looked over at him, and noticed the mischievous look in his eyes. I immediately prepared myself for some surprise such as some men ambushing me in a mock prisoner of war scenario. I put on my game face, and got in the truck. We drove for about three hours until we reached his cabin deep in the woods. I was glad that I brought my jacket, because despite the sun outside it was still cold. I got out and took a deep whiff of the air. I felt free, and ready to unwind. I got my bags, and went into the cabin to unpack. Then, the Captain and I was off fishing, and relaxing. After a couple of hours of fishing, we saw that we had more then enough to have some grub with. I decided to take a nap, and the Captain decided to take a swim. I went up into the cabin, and went to sleep. I woke up and it was just about sunset. The food was prepped and ready, but Captain Barnes was no where to be found. Something deep within urged me to go look out the window, and I followed my intuition. When I looked out the window, I saw the Captain buck naked on the dock ready to dive into the lake. I was in complete shock. The dock was right down the hill. It was close enough to make out that he was naked. I stood watching him until he dove into the pool. My throat went dry immediately at the sight of his nakedness, and when he reemerged from the pool I almost lost all self-control. Although I could see him from the cabin, I couldn't see his body up close. I decided to walk up on him as he was swimming and surprise him. I took off my shoes and socks, and I crept down to the lake as he was swimming. I watched as he dove under the water. His body looked like melted chocolate as he swam. He was swimming towards the middle of the lake oblivious to everything around him when suddenly I heard him call out. Immediately, I snapped out of my fantasy about him, and looked on with suspicion. Then I saw his arm thrust into the air as if he was fighting to get out of the water. Now, I knew that Captain Barnes could swim like a dolphin, and I knew that he has had training in every imaginable situation that could happen while in the water, so whatever it was I had to act immediately. I jumped into the water, and winced from the coldness of the water. I began to swim towards the captain swiftly. As I got closer I could hear him yelling for help. His voice still harsh and masculine, was muffled by the occassional pull from the currents beneath him. As I approached him, I saw him go down. I waited five seconds and he didn't reemerge. I then went down under the water after him. He drifted slowly, eyes closed, arms moving slightly, and I began to think that I was too late. I pushed forward to catch up with him, and barely grabbed his arm. I was gettng tired, but I had to persevere. I pulled him up close to me, and wrapped my arms around his waist, and began to ascend to the surface of the lake. I began to swim with the Captain unconscious over my shoulder.
As I got about four strokes away from the dock, the Captain began laughing. I looked at him confused. I knew he wasn't dead but I assumed he was unconscious. I didn't know that he was even aware that I was there. He began to laugh even harder, and I stopped to look to make sure that he was laughing, and not actually crying. All of a sudden, he lifted his head with a sinister look and said 'Gotcha good.' I looked at him in confusion, then went from confusion straight to anger, and I believe he picked up on my anger. Without giving me any warning, he grabbed my legs and flipped me leaving only enough room to grab a quick breath. I went under, and he followed as we began to water wrestle. After about five minutes my shirt was floating in the water, and I was struggling to keep my pants from being used to tie my arms. After an hour of water wrestling, I was tired. The sun had set and we were the only two in the lake. I began to float slowly to the docks. I felt Captain Barnes beside me, and before he could get me. I dunked him underwater. He emerged right in front of me clearing the excess water from his face.
"I told you we would have a good time" the Captain said.
"Yeah this is what I needed. I have been stressed out, and backed up. This definitely took a lot off of my mind" I replied noticing how dark it was getting, and wondering does this lake have water snakes.
"Well, it's good finally getting to know you. I wish we could have done this a bit sooner. Like while you were still enlisted " he replied.
"Yeah this is a excellent getaway. Now I wish I had invited Tiffany" I said. I thought deeply about a scenerio that would have happened if Tiffany were here and I wasn't aroused. But as soon as my thoughts went back to the Captain, I began to immediately get aroused. At that exact point, I realized I was naked in front of him. Then it dawned on me that he was naked too.
"I hope I didn't mess your head up earlier with that joke." he said his voice showing some sign of emotion.
"Yes the fuck you did, but it's all good. I am cool. I owe you one ass kicking" I joked.
"Well I couldn't help myself. You were looking so stupid. I had to get you, but I can always make it up to you" he stated.
"Yeah, I bet. And how is that." I asked.
He looked up at the moon, and instinctively I looked up with him. Then when I looked down he was face to face with me. I felt everything go silent at that moment. There was no one left in the world but us. It seemed as though the currents began to slowly push us towards one another, and then it happened...
Our lips touched slightly. The electricity in that mere kiss made the temperature of the water rise around us. It was the prelude to the invitation into my body. I hesitated the second time our lips touched, but it felt so natural when Captain Barnes placed his arms around my waist I allowed him to kiss me deeply. I closed my eyes and exhaled, because I was actually with a man. Not just any man, but the man that I was waiting for. I never believed in tales of love at first sight. I never believed that I would actually feel so strongly towards another man. I believed that was my dark wants and desires, that if I ignored, even denied myself these pleasures I would be okay. As we kissed passionately, I realized how detrimental my philosophy was. I realized that today I actually was living, and that since I was twelve, I had been a lifeless shell. Now at 30, I was actually given a chance to live, and it felt good. All in a single kiss.
Captain Barnes hugged me close as we kissed. The strength in his arms secured both my mental, and my physical. I arched my neck back and to the side as his tongue drew a line down my neck. My breath became shallow. I pulled his head deep into me as he found new erogenous zones. I closed my eyes, and then a feeling of anxiety came over me and I pushed him a way slightly.
"What's wrong?" The Captain asked.
"Is this right? I mean I don't want you to think I am a punk or sissy. I have never did this with a man before...I don't want you to be different...I am scared" I finally admitted. All my defenses came tumbling down. The Great Wall that I had built for so many years was now coming down. The closet I had been in for so long was now finally being opened. Part of me wanted to cry, and part of me wanted to hide. I wanted to hide from GOD, and my grandfather, and my father, and all the other people that I didn't want to judge me. I wanted to retreat but I had no where go. Captain Barnes pulled me back in front of him. During our kiss we had drifted back to the shallow part of the lake, where we were able to stand and feel the sand at our feet.
"I know you are afraid, but we are two of a kind. You and I. When my wife divorced me, I only felt love for the U.S. Army. I felt love for no one. I was bitter. When I started to get to know you, I realized that I was human, and I needed someone that could be a part of me. I thought that the someone would be a woman, and hoped that my true feelings were only my hormones taking ahold of me. But when we went out a while back, I noticed something in your eyes. I noticed the way you hung onto every word I said. I knew you were different. I guess it was at that moment that I had to face the truth. That I could have feelings for another person, but the biggest part was that I could have feelings for you another man. Tonight it felt natural being with you, and I had to have this experience. If only for this night just to see if what i was feeling was right, and so far it has been magnificent" he stated, looking me in my eyes as our drifting bodies slowed down, and finally stopped. We stood eye to eye.
"I don't know what to do...I am confused...this is fucking me up inside...I want to..." I stopped as emotions built in my throat. I wanted to break down. I was feeling weak. I wanted to put up a fight. I wanted my defenses but they were all gone.
"I know what you want..you want me." he stated, just before he pressed his lips to mine, and we kissed. This time I felt that explosion deep inside when your heart is touched. When the passion of two beings bring forth a natural phenomenon that rocks the innermost depths of your soul.
His arms aound my lower back, and my arms around his neck. My chest pressed against his as our bodies began to fuse with one another. I felt his stiffness pressing against my inner thigh. Nine inches of uncircumcised manhood pressing against me, and my 8 and a half inch dick pressed against his leg. We kissed endlessly, exploring each others bodies, and touching each other. I realized laying on the sand as water crept under me that I was living my fantasy.
How would I let it play out? Would I allow my fears to dictate the next move, or would I let go and allow fate to take it's course? I decided I would let fate take it's course. Following fate would mean giving up my ass...my second virginity. A part of me was excited, and another part was scared. I always pictured me giving up my ass to a man as the most sacrificial task a man could do. That meant that my dominance in that momment would be gone. My manhold would be stripped and I would be in a submissive position. I looked up at the Captain and wondered if he could tell that I didn't know what to do. I wondered if he knew the depth that I was giving him the most intimate part of me. I wanted to tell him that this was my first time, but I didn't want to sound cheesy. I closed my eyes and followed his lead. We continued to kiss deeply, and I was anxious to explore the rest of his body. In my head I started to envision what Tiffany would do to me. I rolled him over, and straddled his waist. I bent forward to suck on his chest, and I felt his hands grab my ass and hips as I licked his nipples in a circular motion. I held his hands as I sucked on his neck the way that Tiffany sucked on mine so many times before. He rolled me onto my back and began to suck on my chest, but the way he did it was completetly different from the way I sucked on his chest. He pulled on my chest and nipples as if they were breast. I moaned as he grabbed my left pec, and sucked on my right one. As he sucked on them, he grinded his dick into my dick leaving gobs of precum on me. As he was sucking on my chest, he used his index finger to control my moans and groans. His rough index finger pressed against the palates of my tongue. They tasted like lake water, but it was good. I moaned even louder when I felt the same index finger press against my asshole. I wandered if he could tell by my tightness that I was a virgin. I closed my eyes as he licked the index finger, then stuck it back into my mouth, and finally began pressing it against my asshole once more. He did this ritual for several minutes eventually pushing pass my sphincter muscle into me, and it felt like my insides where on fire. I moaned deeply as he sucked passionately on my neck. If he kept grinding me, I would have cum all over myself, so I rolled over on top of him once again. This time I was about to perform a task that I had never performed before. I psyched myself up as I licked down his chest to his navel eventually reaching his wiry bush of black pubic hair. I wanted to smell the scent of his pubic bush, and pressed my face in them taking a deep sniff. The smell was fresh and natural. I let my tongue lick the base of his dick. I envisioned his dick as an ice cream stick...nice and chocolate. I grabbed it, and it felt strange holding his dick in my hand. I glanced up at him, and he was looking at me with anticipation. I extended my tongue, and began to lick up his shaft to the tip of his dick. I was greet with some precum. The taste was salty and sticky. I engulfed the head of his dick as if I was shaping an ice cream head...trying to create a different shape. I sucked his dick slowly, using my tongue to massage the underside of his dick. I watched as his body began to gyrate with pleasure. I enjoyed sucking his dick. this joy was purely psychological. The thought of me pleasing him the way that a woman could actually made me feel good. I looked at his face contort as I sucked the head of his dick. After about five minutes of me sucking his dick, he pulled me up to his face and kissed me. This kiss was unlike the first time. Behind this kiss was emotions. The emotion that stood out clearly and shocked me was...love. There was love in this kiss, and I knew at that moment that I loved him. I wanted to be with him in every aspect. I wanted him inside of me. I allowed him to get back on top of me. I opened my legs and allowed him to play with my asshole some more. My face told him if I was in pleasure or if I was in pain. He began to lift my legs, and bring my ass to his face. I looked on in amazement, because I wasn't ready for what he was about to do. Suddenly, his face was buried in my ass, and I was moaning like a true woman. I was trying to contain myself but his tongue was so long, and it was inside of me making circular motions. My asshole tingled with pleasure, and my dick leaked cum all over my stomach. I was so aroused that I called out to him. I called his name, and gave him permission to take my ass. I wanted him to shape me...make me his concubine. At peak arousal, he began to penetrate me. He started slow...pressing the head of his uncircumcised dick against my wet asshole. Then he began to push it inside of me slowly. I felt my ass give way as he slid in too fast, and I pushed his dick back out of me. The initial shock was tremendous, and my ass quickly tightened in a spasm. I bit my lip because it did hurt. Captain Barnes then leaned forward and kissed me. Assuring me that everything would be alright, then he instructed me to relax.
After coaching me to relax, he began to penetrate me once more. This time when he penetrated me I allowed him to press deep into me. His dick was so damn long, and hard. It felt like he was in my stomach. Then he finally laid on top of me with my legs wrapped around his back, and I could have sworn he was in my stomach. I began to breath as if I was in labor. Exhaling and inhaling heavily as he pushed his dick further into me. I moaned planting my hands on his thighs to control how deep he entered me, but he was already deep inside. I held on as he withdrew controlling the speed in which he exited. For several minutes, he moved at an extremely slow pace...allowing me time to get used to the size of his dick. While he slowly fucked me, he would whisper consoling words to help me relax as well as to excite me. He coached me until I was ready for him to really fuck me. My ass, now opened to accomodate the length and girth of his dick, was ready for his onslaught. He began to slowly grind my ass. Making the juices swell within until his dick glistened with my wetness. The sound of my wetness sloshing as he rotated in circular motions mixed with my moans and deep groans made an erotic symphony. He accelerated his speed and slowly began a rocking back and forth grind that massaged my prostate. My eyes closed as I felt my prostate being massaged deeply. Pressing against my bladder. Giving the impression that I had to urine. My dick responded with a long string of cum dripping into my belly button. Then he began to withdraw slowly, and then enter slowly. I winced in painful pleasure as I adjusted to the new sensation. I was sweating. Every nerve in my body was on edge, and then he changed once more. Exiting slowly and then slamming back into me. My ass burned, and I lifted my head, gripping his shoulders as he began to fuck me with long hard strokes. I moaned loudly. Then I began to breath, but he maintained his assault. Eventually banging my ass until I was calling his name. Pleading with him to stop...begging him for mercy as he piledrived my ass. My asshole was being ravaged and I didn't want him to stop. I grabbed his head and neck as he locked my shoulders. He stroked deep and hard..and I moaned, whined, and screamed with every thrust. I was being fucked, but it was so natural. The night air surrounding our hot bodies. The water massaging my back. The sound of crickets, and the flicking lightning bugs made the scenery perfect. We continued fucking, and slowly ended our lustful beginning with a calm ending....making love. I was now opened, and what started as a fuck ended with me riding him. His dick planted deep inside of me. I leaned forward rotating my hips as he held my ass, and followed my motions with his hips. We kissed and licked...pulled and bit one another. We sucked and slurped...pinched and clawed each other. Lips smacking, bodies entwined like aged vines around a tree trunk..we dance a forbidden dance...a ballet of a love that dared not speak it's name. I cried...not in pain but emotional overload. I had millions of nerves that were being stimulated simultaneously, and I couldn't stop the tears. My body tingled..my toes curled..and I let out a scream in ecstacy as the first volley of cum landed on his chest. As I began to cum volley after volley hugging his neck and begging him to continue, he began to thrust his dick deep inside of me. Burying his cum deep inside of my stomach. Saturating my walls with his fertile seeds. He held tightly professing great love, and claiming my ass as his own. The night grew quiet in this moment as if waiting for my response. The light from the cabin struggled to penetrate the darkness...I said yes. I said yes to Captain Barnes. I wanted to journey this road of life with him. We kissed deeply, and I cried softly but we both understood why. I was alive...and I finally new it. I was happy...for the first time. And for the first time..I believed in love.
That night we made love. That weekend we made music. As I close this letter, I can say that William is still as stubborn as a mule, but after my visit to Vermont last year I found that being Mr. and Mr. William Barnes is the happiest ending this story could have.
Yours Truly,
Kirk Barnes
With All My Love, Mkrann.