This story is a work of fiction. If you aren't of age to read it than you know what to do. I can be reached at vtgfof7@yahoo.com feedback it the only payment we authors get so if you are enjoying my story give me a little note on email Merry Christmas to all my readers.
After the group hug Jamie felt like maybe he wasn't such a dirt-bag that he had been telling himself he was for these past few months.
Suddenly his need to help Justin won over his fear and he reached out and grabbed Justin's arm and said
"I have some idea of the pain that you must be feeling. Your father is supposed to be someone that protects you and instead he was your worst enemy. My cousin Steven was the same for me he was supposed to protect me from sexual predators and instead he was the predator himself. I know how much it hurts when some one who is supposed to be protecting us, betray us. Not only, don't they protect us but they are the very one's who hurt us. We feel double betrayed."
Jamie whipped tears from his eyes and noticed that Justin's face was tear streaked also.
"One thing I have learned in the last couple of months is you can't erase what others have done to you. However one thing you must not do is to, allow their actions to become empowered so that they can continue to hurt you. You have two choices; you live with what your father did to you and let it rule your life or you choose to live above, and beyond what he did to you. Don't let him have any more control over your life. You have a chance for a new life, Justin, if I were you I would grab unto it like a drowning man would with a lifeline."
Justin threw his arms around Jamie and wept, for the first time since that terrible morning he felt he now had someone who truly understood what he was going through.
After a few minutes Justin said "how about throwing a few passes for us?"
Jamie began to throw pass's for the other three boys to catch. When all of the boys tired, they went on the back porch of Kyle's home, and Peggy brought them soft drinks and chips.
The rest of the weekend passed without any difficulties. On Monday morning Justin went to school with Kyle. There were a lots of questions from all of Justin's friends, but for the most part everyone was supportive and understanding. Justin, Kyle, and Ben quickly fell into a routine. They would go to school then ball practice and then the games when they started. After the ball stuff they went to either Kyle's or Ben's house to do home work and have supper.
On the first day of ball practice the team was surprised to find five members of the team with shaved pubs. Kyle explained why they had shaved and challenged the rest of the team to do the same in support of Justin. At first only a few boys said they would. But by the end of the practice and showering most of the team had agreed to shave their pubes It was decided to hole a shaving party after practice the next day. Kyle had brought his dads beard trimmer and shaving cream and a razor as well as Ricky and Tony bringing their razor's. Every boy got a hardon while being shaved, except for Justin. When someone suggested a circle jerk Kyle didn't want to because of Justin, but he told the team that it was ok, and that they should go for it. So the entire team had a circle jerk, and then Ricky and Tony kissed in front of the whole team. Their were a few hum hums, but then Kyle said,
"they are the same guys they have always been it just means more girls for the rest of us."
Then Justin stood up and said while holding Ben's hand, "I have had to be scared and hide who I was for fear of my father killing me for so long, that I can't do it anymore this is Ben and he is my boyfriend."
All at once every boy in the locker room began to clap as Justin and Ben kissed. But the day wasn't finished yet, Kieran a boy who had moved there from England grabbed Brain and kissed him and told everyone that they had been boyfriends for the last two years.
The week passed quickly and Friday arrived, Brenden got to Kyle's parents at 5:30pm. Don and Peg planned a big cookout for the boys, Peg took the girls and went to her mothers for the weekend. Jamie came over as soon as Brenden arrived. The first thing Don noticed about Brenden was he had a healing bruise around his eye like and his lip showed signs of having been split recently.
As the boys were drinking sodas Don took Peg aside and said, "there is something wrong here Brenden looks like he has been in a fight and he brought what looks like his whole wardrobe."
Brenden was sitting at the counter in the kitchen drinking a Dr Pepper when Jamie walked into the kitchen. It was as if the world suddenly ground to a halt as these two boys beheld each other. Brenden blew soda out his nose and Jamie stood there with his mouth open.
"Brenden is that really you?" asked Jamie.
"OMG, Jamie, it is you I haven't seen you since third grade."said Brenden.
"God, I never thought I would ever see you again after you moved away and then we moved here the next summer."said Jamie.
"You two know each other?" Kyle asked in awe.
Brenden and Jamie blushed and then Brenden said,
"I got my first kiss from Jamie on the day we moved away. We had been best friends since preschool and had played doctor together and I loved him so much even though we were so young and I was very sad on the day we were moving, so Jamie took me to his room and he kissed me on the lips and said,
"I will love you forever and someday we will be together again'" spoke Brenden and Jamie at the same time.
Then Brenden rushed into Jamie's arms and the two boys hugged and then kissed like their lives depended on it. Justin, Kyle and Ben went into the livingroom and explained to Don what had just happened. Don thought to himself thank-you God nothing could be better for Jamie than to be given this gift, of being taken back to before all the abuse and pain. Jamie told Brenden everything that had happened including with Kyle and how things were now.
"Jamie there is a special reason I came here this weekend, my uncle found out I am gay and fired me and told my parents. My dad beat me up and threw me out I have been living with a friend. But my dad called all my other so called friends and they outed me to the whole school. I was beaten up twice and two big football players cornered me in the boys room and they raped me from both ends at the same time. By the time they were done there must have been 40 boys watching and cheering them on. Not one person would go for help. When they finished they told me if I said anything, they would find me and the whole football and lacrosse team would take me in one day. Then all of them kicked me and left me there naked. My friend Carl who I had been staying with heard about the rape and brought me his gym clothes. Unfortunately his parents found out about me and told me I had to leave by today. I am hoping that I might be able to stay with one of you for a while."said Brenden with tears running down his gentle face.
Reader note (Brenden is now 17 he is 5'10" tall and has brown hair which is spiked with blond highlights, he weights 165 pounds, his body is very smooth only a little puff of brown hair under his arms and a small amount of curly brown pubes. His dick and balls are small like the rest of him. His dick is 6.5 inches long. His balls are the size of walnuts. He has no hair on his balls.)
Then Brenden and Jamie walked hand in hand into the livingroom and Brenden told his story. Don assured Brenden that a place would be found.
"I am sure my parents would let him stay, but would we have to have permission from Kim?"asked Jamie.
"Go ask your parents to come over here, while I call Kim."said Don.
Jamie hurried home and ran into the livingroom. "Mom, Dad guess who the boy Brenden for the lake is? Shouted Jamie.
Bill and Marie hadn't seen this kind of joy and excitement on Jamie's face since that Sunday when Don had told them of what Jamie had done to Kyle.
"I don't know Brendan Fraser the movie star?"asked Bill.
"No he is my Brenden from Blakesburg who moved away in third grade. And he is gay and so beautiful." shouted Jamie.
"Don wants you to come over."said Jamie.
Don reached Kim on her mobile phone and gave her the details and got enough information from Brenden so his story could be checked out. Bill, Marie and Jamie arrived back at Don's, Brenden repeated his story and Bill and Marie immediately offered for Brenden to live with them. While they were waiting for Kim's call Don started the grill and since there was more than enough food Bill and Marie joined them for the barbeque. Food eaten and kitchen cleaned the three adults sat in the living room, while the five boys went into Kyle's and Justin's room and played video game. As the boys were playing the video game Kyle told Jamie and Brenden about the whole team shaving in support of Justin. Jamie and Brenden thought it was a great idea so they all went into Kyle's bath room and Jamie and Brenden were shaved. Ben went back into the bedroom and cuddled on the bed. Jamie got on his knees and said Kyle may I please suck you one last time with your permission this time. Kyle look down at his friend, and saw the hope of forgiveness there and he nodded with a big smile on his face. Once all three boys were done they came back into the bedroom.
The boys went back to the video game and were so into it they didn't hear the phone ring.
"Boys would all of you come in here please." said Don.
"That was Kim and everything you said Brenden has been verified and as of right now Bill and Marie have been appointed your temporary guardians."said Don.
Suddenly Jamie knelt in front of Brenden and said, "will you be my boyfriend Brenden?"
Brenden with tears running down his face pulled Jamie to his feet and nodded his head and kissed Jamie with all the passion and years of pent up wanting and missing he had stored up for his first and only love.
Justin sleep at Ben's at least two nights a week. After a month had passed, it was time for Justin to go for his check-up with Dr. Manchester.
On the day of his checkup Justin was nervous, after Dr. Manchester had throughly examined him he pronounced him fully healed. Then just as he was about to tell Justin to get dressed he remembered his problem with not being able to get an erection. Justin jump back up on the table for me for a minute please.
"Have you been able to achieve an erection yet?"
No, my dick still doesn't work."
"Have you heard of Viagra?"
"Yea, it is for old men who can't get it up any more, right."
"Some thing like that, but it is for people of any age. I would like to give you a dose of it and then let you look at some sexy magazines to see if we can get things started for you again."
"Sure why not."
"Who brought you here today?"
"Don, Kyle's dad."
"Ok , I'll have to get his permission, but that shouldn't be a problem."
Fifteen minutes later a young male nurse brought Justin a pill, a small glass of water, and a stack of magazines. As he was closing the door he winked at Justin and said, "have a good time."
Justin picked up one of the magazines and begin to thumb though it he had never seen anything like it before, and it made him feel tingly all over. His groin felt like it was on fire and he reached down to try to see if he could get his penis to respond like the rest of the his body was. But, even with the Viagra his noodle was limp as a piece of el-dente spaghetti. Justin tried for another thirty minutes to no avail. Finally totally frustrated he dressed and waited for some one to come into the room. A few minutes later Dr. Manchester came into the room.
"How did you make out, Justin?"
"It didn't help at all. The magazines made me real horny, but my thing stayed as soft as Jell-O. Is this the way I'm going to be for the rest of my life?"
"I don't think that it is a physical problem, I would like to make an appointment with a friend of my. His name is Sam Tully. He is Psychologist, who deals with people who have undergone traumatic experiences. I think you will like Sam and I will bet my last dollar he can help you. So what do say can I make the appointment for you?"
"What is he like?"
"He is a native American, he has a pony tail, and wears jeans and a cowboy hat, oh yea he smiles a lot."
"He sounds cool set it up."
Two weeks later Justin walked into Dr. Tully's office. Sitting in the waiting room was like what Justin imagined it would be like sitting inside a Dakota Sioux Tee-Pee. The wall were covered with leather and wooden poles ran from the floor to a center vent in the ceiling. There were many things hanging on the walls all appeared to be original artifacts. Even the furniture had a rustic look about it. Since Dr. Tully's office was only a half mile from the Russell's home Justin rode his bike to his appointment. After sitting for ten minutes a door opened and Dr. Manchester walked into the room and introduced himself. Then the two of them went back into his office.
"If it is ok with you I thought we could just get to know each other today. Dr. Manchester already told me what the problem is and about your back round, so I thought you might feel a lot more comfortable talking with me about such things if you got to know me first. Is that ok with you?"
"Yea, that sounds good to me."
For the next hour Dr. Tully made Justin comfortable while at the same time he was learning and verifying much of what his friend Ted Manchester had told him. With just five minutes left in their session Justin brought up the fact that he was impotent. Dr. Tully smiled knowing that he had been right with using this approach with Justin, seeing he was comfortable enough to bring up so private a subject especially for a thirteen year old.
"Why do think I can't make it work anymore?"
"There could be several reasons why your body won't respond, but undoubtably it is all tied to the morning when your father attacked you. Our time is up for today but we will meet later on this week and we will keep working on this until we have you back to the way all the boys your age are."
"What do you mean by the way boys my age are?"
"Walking around with their shirts untucked all the time." he chuckled. With that he gave Justin a gentle tap on his head with the notes he had taken during the session.
Justin continued to see Dr. Tully every week, but as May passed into June and then school let out for the summer there was no change in Justin's condition, Dr Manchester suggested the hormones again, but Justin turned him down.
Justin had become so uptight about it that he wouldn't make out with Ben anymore. When they were alone they would just hold hands and if he and Kyle stayed overnight at Ben's then they always made him sleep in the middle of Ben's bed with Ben sleeping spooned behind Justin.
By the middle of July a meeting was held with Don, Peg, Penny who has been busy trying to find a way to live without being told what to do by the General, and Dr's Tully and Manchester. Justin had been placed on antidepressants and mood stabilizers, but he had become more and more withdrawn. He would only eat when Don ordered him to do so and he had to be made to shower. He lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, when Ben would come over he would lay on the bed and hold Justin. Justin had stopped talking all together for the last week. Ben lay on the bed holding Justin as he fell asleep, Ben looked over at Justin's picture of his brother Jeff, and said "if you can hear me Jeff please help him he is willing himself to die. I love him so much please help him." cried Ben as he fell asleep holding Justin.
An hour later Justin needed to pee so he got up and went to the bathroom. Kyle had gone to play miniature golf with Jamie and Brenden who were fast becoming lifetime partners. As Justin came back into the room he heard the greeting, "Hi little J". Justin shook his head, no one had ever called him that except his brother Jeff. Justin looked at the tall blond haired teen standing looking down on the sleeping Ben.
"Who are you?" Justin asked the back of the teen.
Just then the teen turned around and faced Justin, "Jeff, Jeff is that really you?"asked Justin.
"Yes, Little J and I have come to help you out. You have a long life to live and you need to let go of what the General did to you. Your beautiful dick is going to get hard just fine. I know you may think this is all in your imagination, but I can prove to you it is really me. You see you aren't the only Blake son who is gay, I am too. Do you remember my friend Steven who was so upset at my funeral, well he and I had been boyfriends since we were twelve. I want you to find him and have him tell you what we had done that day just before I went to pick you up. He will tell you, that was our special day and we had made love for the first time. We waited until we were both 18, we had given each other oral sex many times and loved doing 69. We used to put oil on out bodies and rub on top of each other until we came. Tell Steven that J.D. says he still loves you and that he is happy for you and Peter. Then ask him to tell you what had happened that day."
"What is J.D.?"asked Justin.
"Jeff's big dick" laughed Jeff. Steven gave me that name because my dick was seven inches long."
Jeff walked over and hugged Justin, "it will be alright, I want you to start taking the hormones and after two weeks, I want you and your beautiful boyfriend to try doing a 69 oral sex. Don't be afraid I am telling you it will work."said Jeff.
"Can't you stay, please, please?"cried Justin.
"Can't Little J, but now you are going to be ok I love you and I am watching over you. By the way Ben is your life mate your love and relationship will only grow and blossom as the years go by."said Jeff Then just as he had appeared he was gone.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"screamed Justin.
Ben jumped off the bed and wrapped his arms around Justin, and asked
"what is it Justin, what is the matter?"
"Jeff, Jeff my brother was just here and he talked to me, and hugged me."said Justin.
"Oh my god, I can't believe it I kind of prayed to his picture before I fell asleep."said Ben.
Justin told Ben everything Jeff had told him, including about their own relationship, except for the part about doing a 69.
I need to find Steven to see if it was real or my imagination."said Justin.
"Do you know what Steven's last name is?"asked Ben
"No, but my mom would know." said Justin.
Justin walked into the kitchen and dialed his moms number. Don and Peg were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of coffee, to say that they were shocked to see Justin up and talking on the phone is an understatement. Don mouthed what is going on to Ben, he mouthed back 'later'.
Penny answered the phone, "hello this is Penny,"
"mom this is Justin I need to know what Jeff's friend Steven last name is and if he still lives in the area."
Penny was shocked to hear Justin's voice, and had no idea why he wanted this information.
"His last name is Miller and his family still live at 1227 Garden side Lane. Why do you need that information Justin?"asked Penny
"I will tell you later, please don't ask me now." said Justin.
"Can we please borrow Kyle's bike."said Justin.
Don nodded his head and Justin and Ben ran out to the garage, jumped on the bikes and rode to the address Penny had given Justin.
"I'm scared." said Justin.
"I am with you forever, Justin, way beyond brothers," they walked up to the door and rang the bell.
"Hello, may I help you."
"I'm Justin Blake, and this is my boyfriend Ben, Jeff was my big brother, and I need to speak with Steven, please."
"Wow I see the resemblance, Steven doesn't live here anymore he has an apartment over on Macon. He lives in the Pinewood condo's his number is 207. Do you want me to give him a call and see if he is home?"said Mr Miller.
"Yes, would you please."answered Justin.
Mr Miller called Steven and explained about Justin wanting to talk with him. He offered to drive the boys to Steven's and Peters condo. He remembered all the pain that Steven went through after Jeff's death. Until he met Peter two years after Jeff was killed he was like a walking robot. His emotions all locked away, but Peter's love for him slowly allowed Steven to open his heart and love again. Mr Miller didn't know what Justin wanted but he wanted to be sure that he didn't hurt his son.
When they arrived Mr Miller walked in first, then Justin and Ben. Justin recognized Steven right away who hugged him for a long time. Justin I am so sorry I never came to see you but the General told me to stay away from you and his house. I think he may have had an idea of mine and Jeff's relationship.
Justin told everyone his whole story of what had happened to him from the moment of Jeff's death until that afternoon. Then he told of Jeff's visit this afternoon. "Steven he told me to say you, that you used to call him "J.D." , he said to tell you he still loves you and is glad that you and Peter are together. He said for you to tell me why the afternoon he was killed was so special to the two you."
Steven was shaken by what Justin had just told him ,but no one else ever knew that he called Jeff J.D. he hadn't even told Peter that it was too special between him and Jeff.
"That day was our fifth anniversary of our being boyfriends. We had waited until we were both 18 to make love and had chosen that day to make love for the first time. It was so beautiful as we took each others cherries. We were so gentle and loving, it was everything we thought it would be. Did you know Justin that Jeff wasn't planning on going to West point like you father wanted. He and I were planning on getting an apartment and we were going to have you live with us. He loved you so much Justin, he hated your parents for how they treated you. I grew to love you too and wanted you to come live with us as well. After his death I came out to my parents and talked to them about helping you, but there was nothing we could do." said Steven.
"Steven I want to thank you for sharing with me I now know that it was really Jeff who came to see me today. He told me to start taking the hormone shots wait two weeks and then try and see if I can get and erection. I think it will work so I am going to do it." said Justin.
"Listen you and Ben are welcome to come here and hang out or ask questions any time you want. Here is our number, and here is my email address. If you need anything at all, you call me."
Mr Miller drove the boys back to his home and they rode their bikes home. When they got back home Kyle was home so Justin sat everyone down and told them what had happened. Everyone was amazed at his story but the evidence was irrefutable Jeff had come to visit Justin. He told them everything that Jeff has said except for the 69ing with Ben, he was saving that for Ben.
The next morning Peg took Justin to Dr Manchester's and he began the hormone shoots.
Note the part of the story about Jeff coming to visit Justin is based on a real life visit a boy named Joe received from his dead older brother who also was killed by a drunk driver. Joe was attacked by his father at age 15 for kissing a boy. His father beat him so bad he almost died he suffered much like Justin but worse. The father was sent to jail for 20 years. I met Joe through this story, he is but one of the many boys and men I have come to know who are or have been harmed because they are gay. It has been six years since I heard from Joe I hope he is doing well. Again if you are a teen being abused let someone know, I am willing to talk about the abuse and ways for you to get help. I will not talk about sex under any condition to do so is illegal. Merry Christmas. Ed