Betwixt © 2020
By David Lee
"Where am I?"
"You're in the Betwixt."
"Betwixt? What the Hell is that? And who are you?"
"I'm Edgel, your guide, and Betwixt isn't Hell; it is what it is."
"You're talking in riddles! I demand to know where I am and how I got here!"
"You honestly don't remember swallowing the pills?"
"Oh, that. I was at my wits end. I just wanted to disappear."
"Well, you've nearly accomplished your mission. From here, you could go either way; that is, back or forward. That's how this state of being got its name."
"I have a choice?"
"Certainly."
"So, can you show me what's ahead?"
"Not exactly. I can't tell you if your next existence will be better or worse. I can show you some scenes so you can judge for yourself what you want to do."
"Like that stuff from Dickens?"
"If you're thinking of his Christmas Carol, it is a bit like that."
"So, are there ghosts and stuff?"
"The scenarios are mostly of live people, but some are from the past and others can hint at the future."
"Okay, I want to see them."
"Your wish is my command," Sir.
A pale 17-year-old lay in a hospital bed surrounded by his parents and sibling. Everyone had tears in their eyes. His 19-year-old brother was evidently moving his lips in prayer as he signed the cross at the close.
As Logan gazed at the tableau, his eyes filled with tears. He recognized his family surrounding his seemingly lifeless body.
"I never knew Barkley felt like that about me."
"He cares deeply. His inability to express it comes from your father's outdated notion of masculinity and his fears of being hurt. He's always suppressed his own emotions and those of his sons."
"Tell me about it! That's part of why I'm here. I'm the sensitive sissy. The one he can't tolerate."
"Richard's façade is slipping, Son. If you zero in on his eyes, you can see there are tears he's trying to hide."
"Probably those are tears of joy that he'll soon be free of his faggot offspring!"
"I have no way of reading his thoughts, but by the way he's gripping your hand, I doubt that's the case. It's like he's trying to keep you from floating away."
Another picture materialized before Logan's eyes. This one was like a vignette in sepia tones, fading at the edges. It appeared to be from another time. Logan can see his mother in a hospital room looking fragile. His father is standing next to her bed holding her hand. He hears them speak.
"Eleanor, my love, you must try to get some rest."
"I can't sleep while my baby's life is in the balance!"
"You have to stay strong for Barkley. Dr. Martin says we shouldn't get too attached because this one may not make it - like the others."
"Don't talk like that! He's not `this one!' He has a name. Logan is going to survive and thrive! Please ask them to take me to the NICU!"
"I'll try, but you know they don't feel you're well enough. With your blood pressure so high, you're at risk for a stroke."
"Then you go!"
"I can't. I can't stand to see my son with all those tubes and monitors. I've been through this before; I can't do it!"
The images evaporated before Logan heard anything else.
A different venue appeared, lit up in colors so vivid that they seemed surreal. A teenager lay on his bed, sobbing. Beside him there is a loaded gun.
Oh, no! That's Toby. He can't take his own life!!!"
"Why should he not?" Edgel asked.
"He has so much of life ahead of him."
"Does he? Listen to him. He doesn't think life is worth living anymore."
Toby lay there asking God why He had to take Logan away from him. He begged to be reunited with the boy he loved. Then, he picked up the gun and pointed it at his head.
The room went dark.
"No! No! Don't do it Toby! Please don't. I love you."
Slowly, like the houselights at the end of a theater production, the illumination increased. The boy was still on his bed with the gun in his hand.
"Can he hear me, Edgel?"
"Apparently so. This is highly unusual."
Toby's eyes widened as he searched the room for the source of what he thought he'd heard.
"Logan? Are you here? Are you alive?" he asked in sotto voce.
"YES!" Logan shouted as loudly as he could.
Toby looked bewildered as he put the safety back and slipped the gun under his pillow.
"Toby, are you okay? I thought I heard a noise," a woman's voice called from the hall.
"Yeah, Mom. I think I should go to the hospital to check on Logan."
"Yes, you should. His father just called to see if you're up to it."
"Really? I thought he hated me."
Logan was shown two other scenarios which were evidently in the future. Figures, trees, and other objects looked insubstantial like they were part of an Impressionist painting.
In the first one, Toby knelt by a tombstone with Logan's name, the date of his birth and the current one engraved in the granite. He laid a bouquet of flowers on the grave. Then his whole body shook as he wept in anguish.
In the second, Logan and Toby strolled in a park each holding one hand of an active toddler who jumped up and down between them. About every third step, they would lift the tyke off his feet and swing him into the air. He squealed with delight.
Edgel waved his hand and they were back to the original location. This time, they seemed to be closer, hovering right above the hospital room. The original cast was all present.
There was a knock on the door and Toby entered looking nervously from one person to another. Richard came to the boy and put an arm around his shoulder.
"I'm sorry for what I said before. I want my son back and I want him to be happy. If that includes adding you to our extended family, I'm all for it."
"Seriously? You could accept us as soulmates?"
"Yes."
"That goes double for me," Barkley said, pulling the teen tightly against his chest. "I love you like another brother."
"I think you make an adorable couple," Eleanor added, embracing Toby as soon as Barkley released him. "Logan cares a lot for you and I do to."
Toby held Logan's right hand and Barkley took his left. Richard stood beside Toby holding his other hand. Eleanor held her older son's left hand and clasped her husband's halfway across the bed. The circle of love was complete.
"Is this really possible, Edgel. Can it be like that?"
"As I said before, the choice is yours."
Logan's eyes fluttered open, taking in his surroundings. For a moment, he wondered where he was. It appeared to be a hospital room. Then, it came back to him as he remembered feeling hopeless and deciding to end it all. But, instead of being dead, he was alive and surrounded by the people who meant the most to him.
He couldn't believe what was happening. His father was holding the hand of his boyfriend and there were tears streaming down his face. The man he'd always assumed was incapable of emotion was openly weeping. It must be a dream. Logan seemed to have had other fleeting visions lately.
In another realm, Edgel shed tears of joy. He'd just been part of another miracle. Sometimes people made different choices. This time, it had been the right one, in his opinion at least.
"You did a marvelous job, Edgel. I'm extremely proud of you."
"Thank you, My Lord. It brings me a great sense of relief when things go this way. I feel so down when they don't."
"Ah, but you always comfort the ones I send you, no matter the end result. And, as you so wisely tell them, it is their choice."
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Dedicated to the memories on Ezra S, Gage U, and Mike B, all of whom left us within the past 13 months.
Thanks to David (Boxerdude) for editing this short tale.
Thanks to Nifty for providing this free venue.
http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
If you enjoyed this tale, I'd love to hear from you. Please write to me at: dlee169@hotmail.com . Please put the title of the story in the subject line in case your email ends up in my junk box!
Despite the trials of these past months, please stay positive and have faith that a better day is coming.
Love and peace,
David