This story is a work of fiction involving sex between consenting adult males. If this disturbs you than leave now. I have no knowledge of the sexual identity of anyone mentioned in this story, including any celebrities. This is my original story, please do not copy duplicate or repost anywhere without my express written permission. This is my first attempt at writing all comments are welcome and will be answered. wilson81abc@yahoo.com
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I do not know how much writing I will be able to get done this week. I have my MRI on Tuesday and a couple days for results. I will let you all know how the results come back when I know and when I will be getting my next chapter ready. Thanks for all you kind and encouraging emails, I truly appreciate them all.
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End of Chapter 18
" I know Kyle, but "..... I trailed off.
" Never mind Jerry, I understand. But don't push yourself too hard please. " Kyle smiled.
" I wouldn't dream of it Kyle. "
Kyle sat down at his desk and started his day, I excused myself and went for more coffee. I stood there drinking and watching the sun scattering through the trees, a picture of the ridge forming in his head. I suddenly felt someone push up against my back, " What is this Jerry? " Sean asked as he handed me the sheet of paper I left on the bed this morning.
" A little something I wrote this morning as I sat on the settee watching you sleep. " I didn't even turn around to look at him, there was something in his voice that kept me looking out the window.
" What do you want from me Jerry? After what I told you the other day you leave something like that. "
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Chapter 19
I turned around then, " I want nothing from you that you aren't willing to give Sean, I have done all I can to give you space to prepare to go back home. All I have gotten back in return is you trying to make me mad and yell and then curling up in bed with me. What the hell am I suppose to think? "
Sean's head dropped as he looked at the floor, " You're right Jerry, I guess I'm looking for the easy way out and that's not fair to you. "
" Easy way out of what? If you don't want anything between us then all you have to do is say so....Wait a minute, you're afraid; aren't you? "
Sean turned and started to walk away, " Oh no, not this time Sean. " I grabbed his arm and led him out the backdoor.
" What the hell are you afraid of Sean? "
" I'm sorry Sean, but I need to know. We said we would be honest, now what is it you're afraid of? "
Sean took a deep breath, " You, me, Jack, everyone. Take your pick Jerry. "
" Come here and sit down Sean, you need to be a little more specific about this. "
I led Sean over to the bench as we sat down I asked, " What about me are you afraid of Sean? "
" Damn Jerry, look at who you are, who wouldn't be afraid? "
" Sean, I'm no different than anyone else. I breath, I have pain and I have wants and desires. There is nothing about me to be afraid of. "
" But you're never alone, there is someone around you every minute of the day. You can do anything to anyone you want. "
" If that's what you're afraid of, I can send everyone home right this minute, I don't have to have them here; it just makes life easier for me. Did I not prove to you in Vegas that although I can do about anything, I am not the kind of person to do that? I'll call Brad right this minute and you can hear he is still alive. "
" You'd call him just to ease my concerns? Even after what he has done to you? "
" Sean, if you are worried about that I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to dial that phone. " I pulled my cell out of my pocket and pulled up Brad's name and pressed call.
" What the hell do you want? " Brad answered the phone already pissed.
" Good morning to you too Brad, I want a favor from you and I think you owe me at least that. "
" So what is it? I'm busy too. "
" I have someone that wants to know you are still alive, and I would like you to be civil telling him that. "
" And just who the hell wants to know? "
" Don't worry about that Brad, I want you to be polite and answer any questions that are asked of you. Then I will delete your number from my phone. "
" Fine. "
I handed the phone to Sean and nodded, " Go ahead and ask him anything you want, but I wouldn't give him any information about yourself. "
" Hello Brad. "
" And who the hell are you? "
" I just wanted to ask you some questions about Jerry. "
" Well ask away, I don't have all day. "
" I don't really know how to ask this question, but has he ever been violent with you? "
" Hell yes he has, right now I look like a train wreck thanks to that bastard. "
Sean got a look of terror on his face and I knew what Brad was doing. I grabbed the phone from him, " Brad, I told you to be civil and answer his questions and I want honest answers from you. "
" I told him the truth, that I looked like a train wreck. "
" I did not do that to you and you know it. "
" Well you had it done to me, what's the difference? "
" Answer his questions and don't add any commentary to it, then we are done with one another. "
" Fine, put him back on. "
I handed the phone back to Sean.
" I am back, so has he ever hurt you? "
" No, he has always been a perfect gentleman. "
" I guess that is all I really wanted to know, thank you Brad. " Sean handed the phone back to me, " Thank you Brad, I'll delete your number now. " " Great Jerry, it will be good not to hear from you again. "
I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket, " You can take whatever he said any way you want Sean, but you know how I left things with him in Vegas. " " I know Jerry, I guess I just needed to know for sure he was alive. "
" I just can't believe you would think I would do that just out of spite, all he did was try to steal from me. If it had been to harm my family or friends that would have been different. " " I'm sorry Jerry, I just saw how upset you were in Vegas and I just had my concerns about how far you would go. "
" What else are you afraid of Sean? Would you like me to clear out the house and send the teams home? "
" No Jerry, I know you need them here. I'm worried about Jack and how others see us. "
" You have to know I would never let anything happen to Jack. I have done nothing but show love for him and his safety. "
" I know that Jerry, but how many problems are you going to have if I continue this with you. "
" You can't let what you think others may think about you dictate how you live your life. If you do, you are living your life on their terms and not your own. "
Sean sat there thinking about what I said, the worry coming across his face in waves causing his face to cringe. I knew the feelings that were fighting inside his head, the fears and concerns about the whole world.
" Listen Sean, " I took his hand. " I'm sorry I have laid this at your feet with all you have going on, I should have realized what would happen when you told me about Mary back in Vegas. I should have backed off and just been the friend that you needed, you don't deserve to have to go through all these changes in your life at one time. "
" I'm still worried Jerry, how the hell did you ever find the courage to be so open about yourself when you're such a private person. "
" It's not like I run down the street screaming it Sean, do you walk up to everyone and ask them if they are gay or straight? "
" No, but it seems like everyone is looking at me now and knows. "
" So? Are you a different Sean than you were before you left Vegas? You have to forget what anyone thinks about you, it's up to you to make yourself happy. "
" You're right Jerry, I put you through hell and all I should have done is talk to you. Can you forgive me for being a fool? "
" You are no fool Sean Austin, you are just trying to make too many difficult decisions alone. You need to talk them out more with someone, if not me; anyone that will listen and let you talk through your worries. "
" I think I'll stick with talking to you Jerry, you are wise beyond your years, not to mention damn good looking. " Sean leaned over and kissed me.
" You're not so bad looking yourself Sean. Is there anything else that is worrying that mind of yours? "
Sean sat up and looked out towards the woods, " Just one. "
" Well let's hear it, if it's worrying you, it's worrying me. "
" I'm worried about you. " Sean turned back towards me, I could see the worry on his face.
" Worried about me? " I asked with a questioning tone.
" Yes, you didn't sleep at all last night did you? I know you're planning something big too, I can see how worried you have been for days. "
" I'm fine Sean, it's nothing for you to worry about. "
" But Jerry, if it's bothering you it bothers me too, that works both ways. "
" I know it does Sean, but I can't let you in on this right now and I ask that you trust me on that. I will tell you all about it this next week, after I have it all handled. "
" Then you at least need to get some rest Jerry, you will be exhausted. "
" I have plans to relax in 2 weeks Sean, as soon as this business is settled and I have George trained and settled in the Columbus office. "
" If there is anything I can do to help you Jerry, just ask. "
" There is one thing Sean, but I don't want to push you into an answer. "
" And what would that be Jerry? "
" Would you reconsider your decision to move back home and stay here, at least this next week. " I couldn't look at him as I waited for the answer.
Sean put his arm around my shoulder, " I would be more than happy to Jerry, and it saves me from asking to stay. "
" You are just incorrigible aren't you? "
" Only when it serves me well. "
" I think we better get inside and get busy today, you have someone to get out of bed and feed and I have several calls to get made. "
" I think we have some time to sit here by ourselves, your Dad is in there making breakfast for Jack right now. " Sean leaned back and I could see Dad in the kitchen window.
" Hmm, then I think we have plenty of time to sit here and relax. " I leaned over and laid my head on Sean's shoulder.
" I think this is a much better use of our time this morning. " Sean put his arm around me, " A much better use. "
We sat there for about 15 minutes and I was getting close to going to sleep, the first time in days that I had the slightest urge to close my eyes and let sleep surround me. Sean nudged me and leaned down to my ear, " It's not time to sleep yet babe. "
" No making rules after we start something Sean. "
" Sorry, but I have a feeling we are going to be interrupted in a minute. "
" I guess you're right then. " I started to lean up off Sean's shoulder, he held onto me tight. " That's no way to break things up Sean, that's the way to keep them the same. "
" I know, but I also know you need some sleep. "
" I have had plenty Babe, I'll be fine today. But tonight I might be asleep before I make it up the steps. "
" Then I will carry you, I can't have ya sleeping at the front door. " Sean laughed and pushed me up off the bench.
" I'm going to send the suits out to be steamed and pressed for tomorrow, can you make sure that you have yours and Jacks ready. "
" Thanks Jerry, I'll get them ready. "
" I have a few calls and arrangements to get settled for next week, I hope to be done in a couple hours. If you need me you can always come into the office though, I would not mind if you interrupted me. "
" I'll get Jack taken care of this morning, then I will see if I can interrupt you. "
I left Sean in the kitchen and headed for the office, how could I not notice that Sean was afraid? He had not come out to any of his friends and he had only told Mary a few weeks ago in Vegas and now she was gone. My heart was beating with happiness with Sean's decision to stay, and my mind was conflicted with the realization that Sean was scared of his identity. I had to put that on the back burner for now, I had a plan to get ready to make sure that he and Jack would not be bothered again by the senator. I walked in the office and Kyle was working on the computer, " Are we ready to get started today Kyle? "
" I'm all ready Jerry, what's on the agenda? "
" I think first thing we need to do to get ready for this next week is increase the guards on the grounds around the house. Now I want them to keep a low profile so not to upset Sean and Jack. "
" They can do that Jerry, and I think it's a wise idea to bring in extra security until we finish this. "
" Then let's get started on plans for this week, first we need to contact Chief Jacobs and the Governor. I think they can both help us with this battle, since at least one of their lives is on the line. I'll call and ask Kim to come out this evening while you find me the Governor's number, Kyle. "
I pulled my phone out and dialed Chief Jacob's number. " Hello Kim, I really hate calling you at home all the time, but I need your assistance. "
" Hi Jerry, you know I don't mind you calling me at anytime, home or the office. " " I really appreciate that Kim, but I think this needs to be handled face to face. Can you make it out to the house this evening? "
" Well, my husband and I were headed out for dinner this evening. Is there anyway we can do this tomorrow? "
" I wish I could Kim, Mary's funeral is tomorrow and I'm going to be busy all day. "
" I totally forgot that Jerry, I'm so sorry. "
" No problem Kim. How about you bring your husband with you and I will cook dinner for all of us and we can talk after we eat. "
" That sounds great Jerry, we will be there about 6. If that's alright? "
" That will be fine Kim, I look forward to seeing you then and meeting your husband. " I disconnected the call and looked over at Kyle. " It looks like we are having guests for dinner tonight Kyle. " I smiled.
" I guess you want me to inform the front gate that Chief Jacobs and her husband will be arriving this evening? "
" If you don't mind Kyle, I would hate for her to have a hard time getting in to see me. Did you find the Governor's number? "
" I did Jerry, it's there on your desk. I'll go call the guards at the front gate and fax them a picture of the Chief. "
" Thanks Kyle, you sure know how to make my life easier. " I laughed as Kyle gave me that look. The look I have seen more than any others from Kyle. The look that life for him was anything but easy with all I ask him to do.
I knew this next call would put all the back plays in motion. The senator had to have the Governor's phone lines bugged, but I was already a step ahead of him on that. I knew he would have a hell of a time trying to trace my phone once I called.
The Governor and I have never seen eye to eye on most of the issues of the day, but I was holding out hope that he would at least listen to what I had to say. I placed the call and held my breath. " Good Afternoon Mr. Governor, how are you today? " I asked with the most pleasant concern I could come up with.
" Well, I think you have the wrong number there Mr. Martin, but I'm doing rather well and how about yourself. "
I cringed at the callousness in his voice, " I'm actually doing fine myself Mr. Governor, and it's wonderful to hear you're doing well. " I choked out.
" What do I owe the pleasure of your call today Mr. Martin. "
Right to the point he is today, " Mr. Governor, I would love to tell you what I need to say over the phone, but I don't think that is a very good idea. I was wondering if maybe you had a little free time Monday to have a meeting. "
" I think Monday is rather booked right now Mr. Martin, I have some free time tomorrow if you're available. " " I would love to Mr. Governor, but I have a funeral to attend tomorrow. Is there anyway you can squeeze in a meeting after hours on Monday. I can be there at five and I don't think it will take that long. "
" Well, if it is important Mr. Martin, I can stay over Monday evening. "
" It is very important Mr. Governor and I really appreciate yourtaking time. I will see you Monday evening. "
I sat there with the Governor's words and tone running through my mind, the arrogance the man had was beyond contempt. Here I was in a position to help his miserable ass and I had to play the nice guy.
I walked out to the kitchen and Dad, Sean and Jack were sitting at the table, " Good afternoon Dad and Jack. "
" Good afternoon Son. "
" Good afternoon Jerry. "
I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee and grabbed an apple off the counter. " I'm almost done in the office, then we can make plans for dinner tonight. " I slowly walked back to the office.
Kyle followed me back and as we sat down at our desks Kyle said, " I have got the plans all set for the extra guards for the next two weeks, Jerry. "
" There has been a change in plans also Kyle, after the services and the dinner at the Austin's you can pull the guards off their house. "
" That explains why you are so happy today, Jerry. "
" Maybe it has helped Kyle, but the details of this week are still bothering me. "
I sat there running through all the details I had on the senator, but my mind kept drifting off to Sean. Tomorrow was going to be the epitome of hell on him, and with knowing how afraid he was about himself I was beginning to worry how he would handle it. The fact he didn't have any family to help him come to terms with this was making it worse. Maybe I could get Dad to sit down with him and have a talk, he was supportive and understanding when I came out. My mind drifted back to the days after I came out to my parents, how the news spread and my friends turned on me. I actually got a cold chill down my spine thinking about what could have happened had it not been for Mom and Dad. The memories were pushing their way to the front of my mind, trying to pour forth like a levee in a flood.
" Jerry, are you alright? " Kyle asked.
I didn't hear a thing he had been saying, my mind being trapped in the emotions of the past.
Kyle walked around the desk and placed a hand on my shoulder. " Jerry. " Giving me a little shake.
" What? I'm sorry Kyle, I think I zoned out there a minute. "
" It was more than a minute Jerry, it's been half an hour. Are you sure you're alright? "
I looked at my watch, " I'm fine Kyle, just stuck a little too long in the past. "
Kyle came back in the office and handed me my coffee cup and behind him was Sean. I almost choked on my coffee as I was taking a drink. " Not happy to see me Jerry? " Sean asked.
" Just surprised Sean, I was trying to get myself ready for this phone call. I'm glad you came in though, I can sure use the break. " I smiled at Sean.
" I wanted to let you know I have the suits ready. "
" Thanks Sean, I will get them sent out as soon as I grab mine out of the closet. "
" Which one do you want sent Jerry? I can run up and grab it while you make your call. "
" The black Armani, it's the first suit on the left side. Thanks Sean, I hope I'm done soon, then we can relax the rest of the day. "
Kyle and I worked for the next hour getting the last pieces of information gathered together and making sure we had not overlooked any detail. When we were finished I was satisfied that we were ready. I locked up everything we had in the safe, I didn't want to take a chance that something would come out before we made our move. After I was positive we covered all our options, I decided it was time for a break and went to find Sean. I headed outside to the backyard to see if they were in their usual spot playing cars, but they were not there. I went back in the kitchen and Dad was coming out of his room. " Hi Dad, have you seen Sean and Jack lately? "
" Last I saw them they were out back heading up towards the edge of the woods. "
" While I'm thinking about it Dad, can we sit down and have a talk? "
" Sure Son, let me grab a bottle of water. "
Dad grabbed a water and I walked towardsthe den, I thought this would give us some privacy for me to talk to him. I sat down behind the desk and turned and was staring at the bookshelves and all the books they contained. The memories they brought back of days spent living out the stories they told.
" Are you alright Son? " Dad asked, bringing me out of my short trip back in time.
" Yes Dad, was just remembering the times I read each one of these books. "
" That's a lot memories Jerry. What has you so worried? "
" At this point in time Dad, too much to get into right now; I'm worried most about Sean. I was wondering if you might find the opportunity to talk with him. He is scared and I don't know if I'm the right person to help him with his fears. "
" What fears are we talking here Son? "
" He is scared about coming out. He just told Mary while they were in Vegas and I think now that she is gone he is having a hard time coming to terms with it here. "
" Jerry, I think you are the perfect person to help him with this. You of all people know how hard this decision is and what to expect, from others as well as from Sean. "
" I know Dad, but I'm not sure that I can revisit those memories right now. " I looked at Dad with fear in my eyes.
" Jerry, I'm not saying you have to tell him all the details, but you can use the experience to let Sean know you understand his problem. "
I sat there trying to keep my emotions and my anger in check, I couldn't let them take control of me this week. I had to bring this problem at hand to an end before they had a chance to involve Sean and Jack.
" Dad...." I trailed off for a moment, " I promise you, after this week is over I'll be able to talk with him. I have to bring an end to this problem and I can't, no I won't be distracted with my past. "
" It's not a distraction Son, it is a part of who you are. No matter how deep you bury it or try to forget about it. "
" I know Dad, but this week is too important to risk treading on those memories. "
" What in the hell do you have planned this week that is so important Jerry? We are talking about helping Sean, is that not more important Jerry? "
I sighed and looked out over the front yard, spotting a single bird flying across the beautiful blue sky. I got up and walked over to Dad, " That's exactly what I'm working on Dad, and if I'm not successful, oh hell if I'm not successful..... " I stopped and took a breath, " If I'm not successful Dad, then his world is over and I just can't let that happen to him. "
" What is this all about Jerry? Does it have anything to do with Brad and Mark? "
" No Dad, this is something that Sean is not aware of and it WILL remain that way. It is something I am working on for Mary, and you must promise me to not say a word to Sean. Not to mention for the rest of this week you three are not to leave this house without talking to Kyle. "
" Is that really necessary Jerry? Who in the world would want to bother an old man like me? "
" Because you're my father, that's all that matters right now Dad. Please tell me you won't leave this house without Kyle, Mitchell or Josh. I will be able to tell you everything by the end of the week, but I need to know you are all safe until then. "
Dad looked at me, studying my face, " If that what needs to be done, I won't leave here without one of them Son. I do expect an answer as soon as you're able Son. "
" I have to find Sean and Jack, I will be back as soon as I can Dad. "
I went straight back into the office, " Kyle, check with the teams and find out if Sean and Jack are on the property. "
Kyle spoke into his communication device and put his finger to his ear to hear the response, " They are out on the east ridge Jerry. Do you want me to have them brought back to the house? "
" No that's fine, I was worried when I couldn't find them. I'll walk back there and head them towards the house. I also had a talk with Dad, I told him not to leave this house for the next week without you, Mitchell or Josh. I will be telling Sean the same thing, please make sure that one of you are around here all week. "
" I've got teams ready for this week to lock the property down tight. "
" I knew I liked you for a reason Kyle, " I smiled at him and then started off towards the east ridge.
I knew exactly where they were, standing out there at my favorite place. The peace and quiet of the ridge was tranquil, allowing you to bring a peace to yourself. I think that is why I spent so much time out there, trying to pacify the voices of my past. I walked briskly back towards the ridge, even though I knew they were safe I had to see it for myself. I had to talk to Sean about Mary's secret. I can't keep this from him this week and keep my sanity intact. As I neared the ridge I came across a member of the security team. " Excuse me Harold, can you radio Kyle and ask him to come back here on the ATV and when he leaves I would like all team members to pull back from here about 100 feet please. "
Harold radioed Kyle at the house and relayed my message, " He will be out in a few minutes Mr. Martin. "
" Thank you Harold and before Kyle gets out here, please hold off on the pull back until he leaves. I know Kyle will complain about it if you pass it on now. "
Harold smiled at me, " Understood sir. "
" One more thing Harold. Please call me Jerry, Mr. Martin is back at the house and he is already mad at me. "
" Jerry it is. " Harold turned and put his hand to his ear to listen to his earwig. I turned and walked out towards Sean.
I cleared my throat so I would not startle either one of them, " I thought I would find you two handsome men out here, hoarding my favorite spot. " I smiled at Sean and reached down and rubbed the top of Jack's head.
" Hi Jerry, Uncle Sean said this was his favorite spot too. I guess you have to share. " I looked over at Sean and raised an eyebrow, " I think I could share, but only if I can share with you too Jack. " I bent down and gave Jack a hug.
Before Jack could answer he heard the ATV coming up through the woods and his eyes just started growing the closer it got.
" I guess you would rather share the ATV, Jack? "
" Yesss!!! " He screamed.
I started laughing and almost fell over, Sean reached down and grabbed my arm stopping me from rolling over.
" Thanks Sean, I see how my gift of scenery falls short with a 3 year old. "
Sean pulled me up leaned in and gave me the most gentle kiss. " That just leaves more for us. "
I almost blushed when Sean said that, I looked into his eyes, they just sparkled in the sun. The green was like an emerald surrounded by a ring of diamonds, shining all their brilliance. " You sure know how to say the nicest things Mr. Austin. " I moved his hand up and kissed the back of his hand.
Jack started screaming again as Kyle pulled up on the ATV, " Can I go for a ride, can I, can I? "
I had to laugh at his enthusiasm, the energy he was expending to get a ride on the ATV that I had brought out just for that purpose.
" You will have to talk to Uncle Sean about that Jack. " I looked up at Sean and winked.
" Well I think you really need to speak with Kyle, since he's the one who rode it up here. "
I walked over to Kyle and put my arm around his shoulder, " How about it Kyle, could you give a little boy a ride back to the house. "
" I guess I could, there is just enough room for a little boy. "
I leaned in and whispered in Kyle's ear. " Can you keep an eye on him while I talk with Sean? "
" I sure can Jerry, he is no problem at all. "
Jack ran over and jumped up onto the ATV, " Thanks for letting me ride back Uncle Sean. "
" You best be good for Kyle till I get back little man. " Sean smiled at Jack.
" I'll be good Uncle Sean, geeshh. " Jack rolled his eyes.
Kyle started up the ATV and turned and headed back towards the house. Jack waving and smiling with excitement. As soon as they were out of sight Sean looked at me and the smile was gone from his face and there was anger in his eyes.
" What the hell was that all about Jerry? "
" Excuse me? What are you talking about Sean? "
" Kyle coming up here with the ATV, just so Jack would want to go for a ride and take him back to the house. "
" First of all Sean I did that because I wanted to talk to you and there is no better place than right here to do that. Second, I need you to calm down, I can see how mad you are right now and I don't understand why. "
" I'm mad because you show up out here get me alone and.... " Sean turned towards the ridge.
" And what Sean? I just needed to talk with you and I'm running out of time. I told you I wouldn't keep secrets, so I have something to tell you. "
" Scared me Jerry, you scared the hell out of me. "
" How the hell did I scare you Sean, I just came walking up here like always. "
Sean's shoulders dropped and his head bent down, " I'm sorry Jerry, I over reacted. I should have asked what was up. "
" There is something more to that Sean, you need to tell me what scared you. "
" I'm embarrassed to say it Jerry, I had no reason to think it, let alone say it. "
" Then just say it Sean, I'm not going to get upset because of how you felt about something. "
Sean took a deep breath, " I was afraid of you Jerry, I thought when Kyle was here and took Jack back with him I was a goner. "
" For fuck sake Sean, do you believe that I could do that to you after the last few weeks you have been here with me? "
" I'm sorry Jerry, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today. "
I stood there with my mouth wide open, I staring at Sean. My head dropped, I whispered to Sean, " I understand. "
All the work and plans to keep Sean from seeing the decisions I had to make in my life were for nothing. If there was anyway to fix this it would be immersing him completely in the business, showing him why I have to do some of the things I do.
" I guess I better tell you what I came out here to tell you, then we can get back to the house. Now I need you to listen till I can tell you the whole story. When I finish and tell you about this next week and what I need you to do I can't take no for an answer. "
Sean looked at me and I most likely had the most blank stare on my face that I have ever had. " Alright Jerry. "
" The most important thing you need to know is that I'm doing this for Mary, I told her I would not tell you but I promised you the truth. Mary knew who Jack's father was and it wasn't Clyde, it was a state senator. It was he that sent Clyde to your house and to the hospital, You don't know how powerful this man is Sean. This next week you can`t go off the property unless Kyle, Mitchell or Josh is with you. And you must listen to everything they ask you to do if you are away from the house. Can you do that for me? Please! "
Sean stood there taking in everything I had said, his eyes started tearing up and he fell down to his knees. " Oh my God, what have I done? "
I stood next to Sean and placed my hand on his shoulder, " Nothing Sean, you've done nothing. But I need your promise, I need to hear you say it. I don't need to keep worrying about my family while this all goes down this week. "
" I promise Jerry, even if I am a fool. " Sean stood up.
" Let's head back to the house, we need to plan dinner and I have to finish up a few calls and plans for Monday. "
" Jerry, I'm truly sorry. I was wrong and will be the first to admit it when I am. "
" Sean, I may be a little disappointed but I do understand. I just thought I did a better job keeping that side of my life from you. Just let me get through this week and I can make some time to get away from here and we can talk this all out. "
We quietly walked back towards the house, neither of us with the courage or energy to talk about what had happened. I played every scene in my head that took place over the last month, trying to find an explanation for Sean's reaction. Nothing made any sense or connected to the way he responded to my arrival at the ridge. I couldn't stand it any longer, I stopped and placed my hand on Sean's arm. " I need to ask you one question Sean, before I focus on this too much. "
" Ask away Jerry, I owe you an answer to anything you want to know. " " Just what made you think that I would do that? I know you have seen me in a lot of different situations in the last month, but do you really think I could do that? "
" Jerry, I have never felt safer in my life than when I'm around you. I was talking to Jack about Mary when you came up and your sudden appearance startled me. My mind just ran away with me, and I'm so pissed at myself for even thinking it. "
" Okay Sean, I think I can grasp where your mind was, but I think I need to work hard to gain your full trust. Maybe if you spent a little time with me while I work you could see why I act the way I do sometimes. "
" Jerry, I ...." Sean stopped in mid sentence, and the tears started rolling round his face. I slowly approached Sean and wrapped my arms around him.
Sean pulled away, the tears still rolling down his handsome face. " No Jerry I have to say this, I feel, well like the biggest ass there has ever been. To question your intentions, or for that matter your love for me, no matter what emotional state I was in was so wrong. I don't know how the hell you could ever forgive me. "
I slowly walked back in front of Sean and again wrapped my arms around him, " Sean, I know you have seen me at my most vindictive moments with people, but you have seen me at my most caring. I just want the opportunity to show you that there is more caring and love in me than hate. "
I felt Sean start to cry harder into my chest, " I just don't know how you do it Jerry. " " Do what Sean? "
" Still be so concerned to me after what I've done to you? "
I looked Sean directly in the eyes, " As I told you before, you were honest with me and you were not out to hurt me, my family or someone I cared about. Not to mention the fact that I love you, Sean. "
Sean stared at me and his eyes grew gentle and accepting, " I don't know what higher power brought you into my life Jerry, but I will never be able to thank them enough. "
" You will have to wait in line a long time Sean, I get first dibs on thanking them. "
We turned and continued on our way back to the house, pleasantly holding hands as we quietly walked.
As we approached the back of the house I stopped Sean, " I think you need to finish your talk with Jack and you might want to explain a little about tomorrow to him. "
" That's a good idea Jerry, I know he is nervous about tomorrow. I hope Jack and I can handle it. " The pain and sadness overtook Sean's face.
" Don't forget Sean, you are not alone. I will be there to help you both. " I leaned in and kissed him. " I'm going to go make lunch while you talk with Jack. Then I have some business to finish up so I am ready for Monday. "
" Thanks Jerry, I'm sure Jack is still full of questions and worry. "
" Well take your time and answer all the questions he has, but I bet he will be fine with your help Sean. "
I slipped in the back door and started gathering food from the fridge to get lunch started. I was busy cooking and my mind was actually quiet, no thoughts about the coming week or Mary's services tomorrow. I looked out the window and saw Sean and Jack under their favorite tree. Sean leaned against the tree as he held Jack while they talked. I could see the thought in Sean's face as he chose his words carefully, not wanting to upset Jack anymore than needed.
*** SEAN*** I sat there against the tree holding Jack and talking with him about tomorrow and what would happen at his mother's funeral. I was trying my best not to tell him anything that might scare him or leave bad memories for him to relive through his life. I was pulled out of my careful talk when Jack asked me a question I was in no way expecting to come from him, right now anyway.
" Why did we come out here to live with Mr. Martin? "
" Don't you like it out here Jack? "
" I really like it here, 'cept there are no kids to play with. "
" Well little man, I like it here too. Would you like it if we stayed here after tomorrow? " " I think so, I like Mr. Martin. He doesn't treat me like a kid. "
I chuckled and had to ask, " Which Mr. Martin are you talking about Jack? "
" It's Jerry, Uncle Sean, he treats me like a big guy. " Jack turned and gave me a look like I was crazy.
" I like Jerry too and he treats me like a big guy also. " I snickered to myself.
" Were you mad at him this morning when we were out in the woods? "
Jack's question stunned me as I gasped for a breath. " What makes you think that Jack? "
" When we pulled away I saw that bad look on your face you get when you are mad. "
" You're pretty smart little man, I was mad but I didn't understand what Jerry was doing. I should have waited for him to explain before I acted. "
" Well you need to 'pologize to Jerry, I don't want him mad at me. "
" I already did Jack, I just hope Jerry has forgiven me. " I sat there as a frown fell upon my face.
" It's okay Uncle Sean, I'm sure Jerry will forgive you. "
" I am too little man, let's get inside and see if Jerry has lunch ready. I'm getting hungry. " I got up off the ground and grabbed Jack and threw him over my shoulder and headed for the house. My mind still thinking that if Jack saw me angry, who else did? I wondered if Kyle saw it also and would be watching me more closely. I sure screwed up big time with this; I just had to believe that Jerry had forgiven me for my stupidity. We walked into the back door and Jerry was busy cooking, he looked so handsome and graceful as he was working the pots and pans.
" Let's go get washed up little man. " I led Jack into the bathroom and helped him wash his hands and face. Then washed myself up so I could look a little more presentable to Jerry.
Jack took off back into the kitchen and I heard him talking to Jerry, " What's for lunch Jerry? "
I walked into the kitchen and saw Jack wrapped around Jerry's leg as he was talking to him. Jerry seemed so at ease with a little one clinging to him as he worked away cooking. I smiled watching the scene as Jack had not slowed down with his barrage of questions.
I walked over to the other side of Jerry, that Jack wasn't hanging on, " That smells good. " as I put my arm around his shoulder.
Jerry leaned towards me and turned his head and whispered, " Not as good as you do. "
" Would you like some help with that attachment to your leg? "
Jerry looked at me, " You're making it hard for me to behave. "
I put my mouth close to Jerry's ear, " We need to talk about a little someone as soon as you have a few minutes. "
" Something serious? " Jerry looked at me with a deep concern in his eyes.
" It depends Jerry, on how observant you think someone is. " I pointed towards Jack with my head.
Jerry nodded his head, " I think you can help me with a removal now, so I can get lunch on the table. "
I reached down and grabbed Jack and tossed him in the air, " You ready to eat little man? "
" Yep, it smells good. "
Jerry went and found his Dad and Kyle and brought them back to the kitchen, we sat together and had a wonderful lunch. Jerry kept watching me all through lunch, making me a little nervous. I was hoping it was about what I told him at the stove, but I could not tell what he was thinking.