Steve Randle slammed on the brakes when he realized that an unfamiliar car had taken his parking spot in the driveway. The plain little four door looked out of place sitting in the driveway of the three story house. Steve noticed the county license plate and wondered if he had gotten into some kind of trouble at school and why was somebody at the house. He shrugged his shoulders and couldn't think of anything that serious that some one from the school would actually come to the house. He usually walked in the door, leaving it open for his mother to close, and yelled to his mother that he was home, but since she hated it and always told him, "You don't live in a barn so don't act like you do." He figured that if he was in that much trouble that a home visit was required, he might not want to do that today. He walked into the living room to find his father here as well.
"What did I do that rates a visit from school and Dad coming home early?" Steve was really worried now that he realized his father had come home as well. "I don't think my grades are that bad this term?" His Father grinned at him and motioned for Steve to sit down.
"You must forgive my son , Miss Hyde, he is an only child and forgets that the world doesn't always revolve around him. His Father threw up his hands in to stop Steve from protesting at his fathers remarks. Steve silently showed his mock indignation with a toss of his head and sat down.
His mother quietly began talking, "Sometime ago your Father and I discussed having another child and found out that I can no longer have children. We were both disappointed and wondered if we could adopt or become foster parents. We met with Miss Hyde and it was decided that we would become foster parents but only on a very unusual set of circumstances. Miss Hyde came to us to see if we would consider becoming foster parents to a fifteen year old boy who has been taken from his family because of abuse. He will need to be given a great deal of support after all he has been through and Miss Hyde thought that our family could handle the situation. It is going to be a big adjustment on your part, we have discussed it and if you are willing, we would like you to share your room with Terry when and if he comes here. how do you feel about this?" His mother paused and waited for Steve to answer.
"Steve, I am not supposed to even tell you what you are about to hear, so understand that if I didn't think it was very important I wouldn't tell you this." Miss Hyde looked at both his parents with a questioning look and they both nodded back at her. "Terry was taken away from his family because he almost beat his brother to death. He has been severely beaten by his Father and his brother because they are both alcoholics and Terry has begun to defy his Father who believes he can beat it out of the boy. Terry finally couldn't take the beatings anymore and turned on his brother and almost killed him. He is going to need a great deal of help and support in order to even slightly recover from everything that has happened.
There was a long silence while Steve struggled with his thoughts and emotions, "I kinda feel funny to tell the truth. I know that I have no right to be selfish but it is a lot to think about all at once, giving up my own room and all." Steve fought with himself and knew that his parents would not force him to do this if he truly didn't want to. "I mean it's not like we don't have the room in the house. I just feel funny knowing that he almost killed somebody and you expect me to be able to sleep in the same room with him knowing that?"
"Stephen Edward Randle! I know that both you Father and I have done a better job of raising you than that! You know full well that is not the issue here! And don't think for a minute that I was going to let you get away with using a word like 'kinda' You know better!"
His mother looked at Miss Hyde and nodded as though some unspoken decision had been made. "I am not trying to force you to do anything that you don't want to do, but this is important or we wouldn't be asking. Just think about it for as long as you need to" Miss Hyde once again looked at his parents for permission to continue.
"Can I go work out for a while and think?" Steve struggled with his emotions and feelings unsure of what he was feeling. He knew from long experience that he could sort this out better while he was working out. His father had put a private workout room in the basement and he and his father used it frequently. He stood and looked to his parents for permission to leave.
"Go ahead son." His father spoke softly, just above a whisper. Steve didn't understand the sadness and even disappointment he heard in his father's voice. He just knew that something about what was going on bothered his father deeply. He knew when his father was really upset his voice always dropped to a whisper until he worked through his feelings. It was a strange habit and Steve had always wondered why he did it.
"Dad?"
"Yes what is it?"
"Why do you do that?" Steve sat back down, somehow knowing that this was not about to be an easy conversation for him or his father to have. "Why do you always drop your voice to a whisper when something bothers you or you're mad about something?" His father looked at him openmouthed and paused, total shock on his face.
"Do I need to leave, I feel like this needs to be a private conversation?' Miss Hyde stood and began to leave the living room. "I will be back at my office trying to find another placement for Terry, I am afraid this one won't be working out after all."
His father looked at his mother and she nodded her head yes. "Miss Hyde please sit down, my wife and I have not been completely honest with you, or with Steve either." He paused and waited for her to sit back down. "I have kept this secret from many people, including Steve for many years and if this situation was not so important to me I wouldn't be telling him now. I was abused by my father and I know all too well what Terry is going through right now. My father was a mean, cruel, viscous, drunken bastard!" The words came out in a loud whisper, but the rage in his voice was unmistakable. "I swore that when I could, I would make a difference for kids like me. I spent years in therapy and the only thing I have never learned to stop is the whispering when I have strong feelings about something or when I am very angry or disappointed. Miss Hyde, that is the reason that we approached you about becoming foster parents, it's not so much that we can't have any more children , we want to help the ones already here! I was taken in by the man you thought was your grandfather, Steve, because my own father was a cruel, unfeeling bastard who drank himself to death. He drove my mother to an early grave with his drinking and abuse. She killed herself with an overdose of sleeping pills and he died shortly after that. He drove himself into a ditch while drunk and died from his injuries. He could have survived but froze to death before anyone missed him. Owen Randle took me in and raised me as his own son. Now maybe you can also understand why I became so angry when you came home drunk over the summer. I was afraid that you might be like your real grandfather." Charles Randle paused and waited for his son to absorb what he said. "I have also realized that I have no right to ask you to give anything up to fulfill my desires."
"Can we just try and see if it works out?" Steve looked at the three adults. The thought of someone willing to kill someone to stop from being beaten and losing his home and family bothered him more than he could deal with right now. "Dad, I'll do what ever you and Mom decide, I don't want to be the one that makes the decision. Talking about this freaks me out. I can't imagine what life must be like for this guy!" Steve walked away leaving the three adults openmouthed at the look of anger and revulsion on his face.
Steve rushed from the room and headed for the gym, he knew that he could think clearer while he was working out. He feeling were a storm he didn't understand. He slammed the weights around trying to make as noise as possible to stop himself from thinking about what life must be like for this kid. The anger he felt scared him, he didn't understand why his was effecting him so much He could here the rise and fall of voices upstairs when he finally paused to catch his breath. He was surprised to find out he had been working out for over two hours and couldn't remember anything he had done. He lay on the weight bench too sore and tired to even sit up. He heard steps on the stairs and his father called out to him
"Are you OK? I don't hear you working out anymore. Charles Randle came down the stairs and around the corner to see Steve lying on the weight bench soaked in sweat and still looking very angry and upset. "Want to talk about it? You might be able to deal with what you're feeling if you talk about it.
"I'm confused! I can't imagine what life may be like for this kid and I want us to help him but I don't know if I want to live with someone who tried to kill his own brother, but I can't imagine some bodies brother treating them that badly. I don't know what the fuck to think. I don't know . . I don't know. . . . I don't want to be the one to make this decision, you and Mom have to make this decision, I will do whatever you decide, I just don't want to be the one who says this kid has to go back to that shit! I can't deal with that! And you shouldn't make me!
His father was dumbfounded by the torrent of words that came from his son. "Your mother and I did not expect you to make this decision and I am sorry you felt that way. We just wanted to find out how you felt about it, if you don't want to do this, we won't but you shouldn't feel any guilt over it. Terry will be kept at the city home for juveniles until they can find someone to take him in, he will not go back to his family. I don't want you to feel guilty because you are not one hundred percent behind what your mother and I want to do. We should not have sprang this on you this way and I hope you can forgive us for what we did to you.
"Dad, if you and Mom want to do this I will support you. I just could imagine what life must be like for this kid and the fact that he almost killed his brother scared me, and you wanted me to sleep in the same room with him? This is too much to handle all at once! Like I said, can we just give it a try?
"Yes I will talk to Miss Hyde and tell her we will give it a try and he can sleep in a room by himself. I will speak to your Mother about this and I am sure she will agree. I will let you know what the three of us decide shortly. His Father reached down and helped Steve up.
"Dad I'm sorry that I was such a jerk, I just didn't know how to handle all this at once. I have everything and I didn't think about bad it must be for this kid and I felt like crap that I didn't want to share what I had. I just lost it a little I guess. Night Dad! I am just going to go upstairs take a shower and crash, I'm beat." He hit his bedroom and collapsed on the bed shower forgotten. His Father came in about an hour later and woke him to tell him Terry would be here tomorrow when he came home from school.