This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters: Ben Hastings -- That's me! Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad Veronica Hastings -- My Mom. Reyna -- My Best Friend Ranj Kumar-- Another friend Jared -- A football whore. Sargeant Shipley -- High School Friend Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate. Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother
From Chapter 17: "I -- feel so close to you. I don't know -- can't tell for sure, but -- I wonder if this is what love feels like." He kissed the cavity next to my neck, sending a tingling outward from it through my whole body. My boner pulsed, telling him it liked what he did. "Ben, I want you to -- I think you know."
"Oh, Ev -- Ev!? Was all I could say. I rubbed his back and kneaded his butt, and said, "Can we at least -- I mean -- let's continue this at the dorm.
Your brother and Ranj will be gone, and -- I dunno -- I just want to be wide awake and not doing anything in a weakened state."
He relaxed, obviously disappointed, onto my body. "Okay. I want -- no -- well -- okay -- I just -- okay, Ben -- okay." And he squeezed me with all his might. "Can we go now?"
Rex and Ranj may still be there."
"It's okay. I'd like to see my brother before he goes to classes."
"Okay."
We got dressed and went to the nearest bus stop, hopped a bus to the campus and found the dorm. As we walked up the path toward the dorm, Everett held my hand. We got some curious looks, but nothing more.
The door was open, and when we walked in, Ranj was on the couch, cradling Rex in his arms. Rex was crying.
Chapter 18:
When he saw Everett, Rex extricated himself from Ranj, and came to Everett and gathered him up like a little boy.
"What's wrong, Rexxy?" Asked Everett, obviously shaken by his big brother's tears.
"It's daddy." Said Rex.
"Oh!"
"They took him to jail, Evvy!"
"Wha -- what for?" I could see Everett's wild eyes and mind going a mile a minute.
"He shot an officer!"
"He WHAT!!??"
"Two people came from the welfare office -- or CPS -- whatever that is - "
"Child Protective Services." Everett said.
"Oh! Anyway, they came with an officer to -- to -- take away the kids. Mama said that he acted cool as he went to get his coat and then took out his rifle and shot the cop."
"Oh my God, Rexxy! He killed a cop?"
"No! He didn't kill him. He's in good condition. Daddy was wild when he got the gun in his hands, and he shot the ceiling twice and got the officer in the head, but -- only grazed it."
Everett wrenched free, and ran to me with a fierce look on his face -- which Ranj could see but Rex could not. He stood in front of me, fists clenched, then broke down and threw himself on me, crying in to my neck. Ranj came and put his arms around both of us. I was swept up in the emotion of the moment, as Rex came over and joined us.
We stood there rocking back and forth for a time, then Rex said, soberly, "Ev, the little boys are safe."
"I know." Said Everett. "Rex! Your scholarship!"
"What about it?" Said Rex.
"I'm sure they'll be wanting to question you -- and -- maybe me." Said Everett, looking pleadingly at me.
"He's right, Rex. I think that there won't be a case unless both you and Everett testify."
"Testify against Daddy?" Rex said to Everett.
"Our brothers, Rex! We need to save the little boys." Said Everett.
I said, "Rex, I don't think that your father would mess with your scholarship. I'll bet that he will want to keep this as low key as possible -- don't you think? Especially with all the crap going on in the political scene recently -- molestation of pages and all."
"That's different, he - "
"Not really, Rex. Your father was in a position of authority. Those in congress are in a position of authority with their pages. Same thing, different place, as I see it. I bet he wants to keep it as quiet as possible."
"But Daddy didn't mean - "
"The idea isn't to punish him, Rex -- although it will somewhat have that effect. The idea is to save your little brothers."
"But mama will - "
"Mama will want to save her babies, Rex!" Said Everett boldly. "She's as afraid of Daddy as the rest of us are, and you know that as well as I do."
Rex collapsed back down on the couch again and covered his face with his enormous hands. "I know -- I know you're right -- both of you. But our family - "
"Our family is so screwed up, Rex!" Said Everett. He sat down next to his brother and grabbed his hand. "I just realized something last night, Rex. I HATE Daddy!" At Rex's astonished look, Everett continued. "I still love him, but I hate him for what he's done to our family." Again he stopped and looked into Rex's eyes, which were brimming again. "Maybe we can help it to somehow - - get better, Rex."
Rex pulled his little brother up to his lap, but this time Everett protested. "Rex, I think that's not -- not -- right. Normal guys don't do that -- do they? Not when they are 22 and 17 years old."
Rex looked like he had been slapped in the face. "Am I gonna lose you too, Ev?"
"Never!" said Everett. "I just think maybe we should not play like were gay - - if we're not."
"You mean if I'm not." Said Rex.
"Whatever. Pretending that all brothers cuddle and press their boners on each other -- is normal? I doubt that."
Rex got another astonished look, and turned red as he made eye contact with Ranj and me. "Look, I know I have latent gay tendencies. But I just think it's not in my best interest to -- erm -- develop them." He looked at Ranj, who looked pensive, and I think I know what he was thinking -- or wishing. Then he looked at me for support.
"Actually, I think you're right, Rex. Who would choose this? I know I didn't. It chose me!" I said, woodenly. "I know, as well as every other poof, that the chances of having the family I have dreamed of for years are -- not very good. I know that if I -- or we -- whoever that may include -- want kids, it will never be as easy as if we were a straight couple. For me, I would choose to be straight, but ... I'm not! You're lucky that you at least are attracted to the opposite sex, Rex."
Ranj said, "I can't even imagine wanting to be straight. I have kept this secret all my life, and especially these last few years, as I have played ball. But I NEVER EVER wanted to be straight -- Ever! But - " and he turned to me with a pained look, "Ben, I am still so much in love with you! No, please don't try to answer. I know I've blown that for good. I actually am kind of happy that you have found Everett." I looked at Everett, and we both blushed, since we had neither made any such commitment to each other.
"Uh -- Ben and me -- uh -- we haven't -- uh - " He stopped, not knowing what to say next.
"Ev and I haven't done or said anything to -- um -- commit anything to each other, Ranj. We HAVE enjoyed being friends, and - "
"Oh! I'm sorry. I just assumed that when you stayed out all night last night - "
"Good God, Ranj, and how many guys have you spent the night with since you got here?" Said Rex.
"I -- but -- I mean -- they didn't mean anything to -- Shit! Ben, I just thought that you would not do anything unless - "
"We didn't do anything." I said. I knew that that was not quite accurate, but in reality, seeing what Ranj was getting at, we didn't. "Ranj, I don't want or intend to hurt you -- especially in front of these guys, really -- but I have to tell you -- I still love you too. I just can't -- let -- myself be -- um -- hurt -- any more."
Ranj and I looked deeply into each other's eyes -- as if Rex and Ev were not even there. "I wouldn't ever hurt you like that again, Ben."
"I know you wouldn't mean to -- now - "
"That's what I meant." He said, hanging his head and shaking it.
I noticed Everett looking between Ranj and me. I was at first surprised when I realized that he and Rex were witness to that exchange, and then decided that it is probably good that Everett knows about some of my own baggage. I surely had heard and witnessed a lot of his in the past 24 hours.
I smiled apologetically to Everett. "I think we all come with more baggage than even we realize!" I said. He too smiled, and seemed to mature a bit as I looked at him. And his eyes were sending me an additional message. I think I read it right. I winked at him, and lowered my head demurely. None of this was observed by either of the other two guys.
"I should get ready for class." Said Ranj. "You going?" He said to Rex.
"There's nothing for me to do here. You'll be okay, huh, Evvy?"
"Huh?" Everett said as if started out of a trance. "Oh! Yeah. Fine." Both of us tried not to betray our relief and -- something else -- that we would soon be alone again.
"I gotta eat something -- I'm starved!" Said Ranj.
"Actually I could too." Agreed Rex.
"You guys get ready, and me and Ben'll fix your breakfast." Said Everett.
I was rather amazed that after all that went on this morning, that Everett would still be so eager to be alone with me. How could I tell him that I really don't want to move quite so fast. I feel somewhat off balance after what Ranj said to me. I really do still have feelings for him. Maybe it's a "first love" thing.
All during breakfast -- as short as it was -- Ranj kept looking at me and - - not quite flirting, but - - making me think. He is soooo handsome! His dark set eyes are impossible to ignore, and his lower lip that protrudes even when he's not pouting in so inviting. This morning his hair, which is getting longer than he usually keeps it, was curling onto his forehead in such a sexy way it made my nether parts flex when he came out for breakfast.
Did he do that on purpose?
As soon as Ranj and Rex were out the door, Everett said, "He's really cute, isn't he?"
"Huh?" I said, as if I didn't know exactly what he was talking about.
"Ranj!" Said Everett. "I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?" Now I WAS a little confused.
"How can you be around him, when he so obviously loves you and - - you love him too -- don't you?"
"It's not as if I have a choice." I said.
"What is it that you don't like about him?"
"What? You mean besides the fact that he has slept with half the Gay Population in the city -- and that's just since I've been here? Okay, that's an obvious exaggeration. But - "
" -- but you still want him -- don't you?"
"Sigh! I dunno!"
"So what if he's slept with a few guys -- or a lot. Do you think he hasn't been safe?"
"No, I know Ranj better than that. He's super safe and he's Mr. Clean."
"Then what - ?" He asked.
"I -- don't like to talk about it."
"Why?"
"I don't think anyone likes to admit that he -- has let someone knock him around."
"Is that that big a deal? My daddy has probably done much worse than that to all us boys."
"And so you see it as normal. Ev, It's not normal for a dad to assault his children in any way, and it damn sure isn't normal for a anyone to beat on his lover."
Everett looked like a deer in the headlights. He obviously had such abuse from his dad that he thought it was normal. "Well - - I was always in trouble, though. Even Rex had to - "
"Did Rex beat on you too?" I tried not to be overly disturbed.
"I deserved it!"
I had to be very strong to just hold myself together. Everett was damaged. I hoped that it was not beyond repair. "C'mere." I said softly. We were cleaning up the kitchen. I was washing dishes and he was drying. He turned to me and took two steps into my embrace.
I hugged him and led him to the couch. We sat and I held him for a long time. He was satisfied to do that, but I had to say some things.
"Ev, I don't know your dad. I do know Rex, but not well -- not even as well as I have become close to you." I squeezed him when I said that and he melded closer to my body. For once, I felt no wood -- on either of us. I can't say how much Rex and their dad knew what they were doing. Obviously Rex was only doing what his dad did.
"What I want you to know, Ev, is that this is NOT normal. Normal families don't beat on each other. Ev, I'm not trying to blame anyone. As I said before, probably your grandfather was more abusive than your dad. I saw you brother go off once, and that was all I care to see. I know that Ranj provoked him, but he overreacted, because that's what he has been taught as normal."
"I guess. So Ranj also must think that's normal."
"Sigh! Yeah."
"I got an idea!" Said Everett, sitting up."
What?" I asked, smiling at his smile.
"We can help each other. You can help me understand about what's normal. And I can help you get over Ranj."
"Get over him?"
"Obviously you're still stuck on him."
"I wouldn't say that. I do still care about him, and it's hard to see him every day. But Believe me, I won't be getting back with him any time soon."
I wish I was as convinced as I sounded!
"So - - maybe later?"
"Huh?"
"You said you wouldn't be getting back with him any time soon. Does that mean that maybe you will later?"
"Heh! I guess my language is giving me away. Thanks."
"Thanks? For what?"
"For making me take a stand -- which I didn't want to take before."
"A stand?"
"Yeah. In the back of my mind, I still was hoping that Ranj and I -- but this is what I needed. I needed to take a stand and say - - I'm NOT going to let myself be taken in by his charm any more."
"Good! Can we get to what we were going to do now?"
"What?" I said.
"You were going to teach me some more stuff -- about love and stuff."
"Oh. Yeah. About that."
"Dammit! I don't like the sound of that. I'm not a little boy! I'm almost 18 years old!" He whined, laying his head on my lap, his ear to my crotch. He snuggled a little there and I couldn't help my obvious reaction. I stroked his head, and bumped his lower cheek again. He smiled and hugged my leg. "I like it when you do that, though."
"Yeah, my mom used to stroke my head when - "
"No, I meant when you bump me with your pecker!"
"Oh! Sorry! I can't help that."
"Please - - don't! I said I like it. I wish you would stop treating me like a kid. You're not that much older than I am, you know."
"You're 17 and I'm almost 21. That's 4 years - a big difference at our ages."
"When will you be 21?"
"Next September first."
So I will be 18 in less than two months, and you will still be 20. Don't make it sound worse than it is. It's closer to two years than it is four! Please, Ben? I just wanna play for a little bit -- to help with the stress. I want you to help me forget what we're doing to our daddy. Please?" He begged, this time squeezing my wood.
I lay down on the couch and he crawled on top of me. He removed my shirt and lay his head on my chest. He was already shirtless, and his smooth chest on my own brought out his desired effect. I stroked his back and slipped my fingers under the waistband of his jeans. He reached under and unbuttoned them to give me more room. I slid my hand under his boxers and caressed his soft, relaxed butt.
Everett moaned a little and ground his pelvis into my body. Then he lifted his head and kissed my neck. I kept caressing his back and butt, as he worked his way, kissing my neck and face until he came to my very ready lips. We both looked into each others eyes for a moment then closed them and kissed, deep and long. Tears were rolling down my face. I think they were mine. Somewhere in there, I had made my decision to let myself go and do whatever Everett wanted and - - I felt guilt and shame, but elation at the same time.
"I wanna shower with you again." He whispered. I hugged him to signal my assent. We got up and took our clothes with us into the bedroom and then shed our pants and, naked, embraced and kissed again, even deeper than before.
But instead of going to the shower, he pulled me down under the covers of the bed. We caressed and rolled and kissed and moaned there for a long time. It was a good 20 minutes before he started to stroke my wood slowly. Then he placed my hand on his, and started my stroking his wood.
We both surprised each other with a few moves. Mostly, I kind of forgot that he was so used to getting fucked -- by his dad. We didn't go that far, but our fingers found each others prostate. He didn't know about this trick, but caught on fast, as we sucked each other and stroked prostates from the inside. We had already cummed once, and the prostate stroking got us both hard again quickly.
He stopped long enough to say, "When do we stop."
"Any time you're ready." I said.
"I think I'm ready -- for now."
I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. "Ev, that was awesome! You did it like a pro!"
"You've been with a pro?" He marveled.
"No! I only meant - "
"I only did the same things you were doing. So I done good huh?"
"Dang! That was the first time for you to do that?"
"Daddy never kissed me or sucked me. He only fucked me. It felt good -- well after the first few times and I learned how to relax. But what you were doing in there with your finger he never did! What was that?"
"But -- huh? You were doing it to me too!"
"I hoped I was. What was that -- the bottom end of my dick?"
"Sort of. But it's not really. It's the prostate. It is a gland that produces fluid for your semen."
"Does it hurt it to do that?"
"I don't think so. But that's what it is. You were flipping mine like you knew what you were doing, that's for sure!"
"Well, I definitely learned something new today! I really want you to fuck me too!"
"Oh, Ev, I dunno! That's a little too - "
"Please think about it. I'd like someone to do me who cares about me."
I wanted to cry. However many times his dad had ravaged him, he didn't feel cared for. Well, I guess if you're being used, that isn't surprising.
"Let's take out shower now, Ev. Okay?"
"Kay." He said it timidly, so much like a little boy. I felt a twinge of guilt.
He ran to the shower and turned it on before I got there, adjusting it just the way he liked, then, "You like it hot or cold?" he asked.
"Definitely not cold!" I said. "Actually, I like it as hot as you can stand it"
"Good! Come in!" He hollered. I did.
He was waiting for me on his knees. I started to protest, but he produced a soapy wash cloth and started to wash my toes. Then he worked his way up and washed every inch of me, taking special care to inspect my genitals. Then he washed my butt, not missing even the crack.
Then he rinsed out the wash cloth very well, and stood up and after soaping the cloth up again, told me to close my eyes, and he washed my face and rinsed it, then worked his way back down so that everything was clean.
"Wow!" I said. "That was nice."
"Thanks. Daddy taught me." He smiled almost demurely.
I wanted to barf! His dad made him wash his body after sex. What a creep!
I asked for the cloth and I washed him as he had me, trying to be as gentle and loving as possible. He closed his eyes. I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Did you close your eyes when your dad washed you?"
"Oh no! He never washed me! But he closed his eyes when I did him. I liked it when you washed me."
I rinsed him all off and gathered him into my embrace and kissed him. "Daddy never did that either!" He said.
"Ev, I'm sorry, but -- you're gonna have to stop comparing me to your dad. First I don't like being compared, and secondly, it gives me the creeps."
"Oh! I'm sorry. It's just -- well, never mind." He said, letting his voice drop off to nothing.
"No, go ahead and say it, now." I commanded.
"Ben, you're the only person besides my daddy that has ever had me -- like that. I did stuff with my brothers. But that was different. Daddy didn't care what he was doing -- to me -- and with the twins it was just -- fun stuff.
With you - - I really felt like you lov -- er -- I mean, you cared about me." He looked at me and his eyes were pleading.
"Ev -- I do care." I said, feeling almost trapped. "And please don't take this for more than it is, because we still hardly know each other, but -- I do feel love for you." I said soberly.
He grabbed me and held me close and exclaimed, "Oh I love you, too, Ben -- I love you too -- so much!"
I asked him not to take it for more than it was!
Just then, as we were standing, soaking wet under the hot shower, Ranj came bursting into the bathroom, and shouted, "I forgot my -- Oh!" He said, as he could see our forms through the frosted glass door.
At first I was embarrassed and a little angry, but immediately that changed to relief and gratitude. Well, Ranj should not have burst in like that, but I was feeling trapped and very uncomfortable there, standing with our naked bodies touching, and with Everett proclaiming his love for me.
"Sorry, but I for got my -- OH! There it is!" He grabbed something off the counter and left the bathroom.
Stunned, Everett and I got out and dried off. I left the bathroom first, because he felt a need to shave off his several whiskers that had accumulated in the last week! As soon as I walked out, Ranj was standing at ye bedroom door.
"God that hurt!"
"Huh?" I said.
"Seeing you in the shower like that with Ev!" He said. His eyes were red. "Ben, I don't know if I'll ever get over you. I guess I will -- eventually -- but it doesn't feel that way now. Is there any way that you would consider taking me back?"
My chest was aching. Ranj pleading with me was pitiful and broke my heart. I started to say something, but my head was shaking slightly back and forth.
"Please don't tell me no without giving it some thought, sweetheart! I love you, Ben Hastings! And I can tell by your looks that you love me too. I'm asking - - what do I need to do?"
I looked deeply into his eyes. I saw such love and -- hurt -- there. I felt it. His hand was touching my naked shoulder, as his eyes pleaded with me.
Everett walked out of the bathroom and giggled. "Sorry, it just looks funny, the two of you standing in the hallway, with Ben so -- so -- naked! It's cute!
"Get dressed, Ev. I'll be there in a minute." I said without breaking eye contact with Ranj.
"Oke -- kay - " said Everett as he passed by me to the bedroom. It didn't escape me that Ranj never even stole a glance at Everett's lithe, skinny, naked body. As soon as the door was closed I said,
"Nothing has changed, Ranj. And I do mean nothing. You still melt my heart. I still love you as much as ever. But I also still have to protect myself. As far as I can see, you still have a violent streak. What would it take -- for me? That hasn't changed either. You would have to come out -- to everyone, especially your football team. I wouldn't ask if it were not me being at risk when they don't know."
"That's easy, Sweetheart. They already know -- or at least they must. And here -- it's not like out in California. They don't care! I can do that! Will you now please -- consider -- letting me take care of you?"
Notes: Is Ranj ready to settle down and be a one-man-man? Can he control his temper. Can Ben trust him? WILL Ben trust him -- one more time? Comments are welcome, as always, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve