This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Ben Hastings -- That's me!
Bill "Bubba" Hastings -- My Dad
Veronica Hastings -- My Mom.
Reyna -- My Best Friend
Ranj Kumar-- My New friend
Jared -- A football whore.
Sargeant Shipley -- High School Friend
Rex Majors -- Ranj's roommate.
Everett Majors - Rex's younger brother
From Chapter 15:
"Bye Ranj -- and -- thanks!" I said. He hugged me and started back to the dorm.
"Where are we gonna go?" Said Everett.
"Here! This may help!" Said Ranj. He tossed something to me, and ran toward the corner. It was a wad of $50 dollar bills. "Have a good time!"
"Ranj!" I said. He stopped and turned. I held up the wad and said, "Would you rather we wait until morning to come back?"
"Naw! It would worry Rex too much. I'll tell him you're okay, don't worry." With that, Ranj was out of sight.
"He doesn't want your brother to have anything to distract him." I smiled.
"I'm not sure I know how I feel about that!" Said Everett.
"Huh?"
"It'll take some getting used to -- Rex being gay!"
"We don't know that yet. Lets go." I started running, because I saw a bus coming to a stop across the street. We hopped aboard and went to town -- literally this time!
Chapter 16:
"Ben?" Everett said, as soon as we sat down.
"Yeah?"
"I don't get it." I waited. "I mean, when Rex left home to come here, he was so anti-gay -- I was almost afraid of him."
"Oh, Ev, I don't think - "
"Oh, I don't mean really. Rex would never do anything to -- hurt me. But he has always been my confidant. I could tell him anything. But when I started to hint about being gay, he -- well -- seemed to go off the deep end."
"Maybe he was dealing with some issues himself, Ev."
"You mean himself being gay?"
Well, maybe at least wondering." I said, thinking about my first introduction to Rex -- on the floor of the hall in the dorm, looking up from under Ranj. And Rex was so surprised -- seemingly -- that he was turned on by what he saw. I kept this to myself.
"I know he was afraid of what Daddy might do to the twins. As it turned out, Daddy seemed to not care. He put all his -- um -- energy or something -- into making sure that Rex got this scholarship. Daddy doesn't seem to care a bit that I got a scholarship in science. Do you know how that hurts?"
"I just might. But I never got good enough grades -- nor was good enough in sports -- or anything else for that matter -- to get any scholarship. I came out here to be with Ranj. Boy that sure wasn't a good decision! And even that was at least partially because I wanted approval from my dad!
"I'm glad you did - - Ben." He said. It almost broke my heart that I said what I had said -- the way he put it. I was always the one to worship other guys. And now here was this kid -- seemingly -- well --
"But it's okay, Ben. I know I'm only here a few more days, and then we may never see each other again. Hey! If I write to you -- wherever you are -- will you write me back?"
I didn't have the heart to discuss with him -- at that moment -- what I had discussed with Mom and Dad -- about Everett's little brothers. Both Everett and Rex, it seems to me, have an overactive allegiance to their dad.
"Of course I will. I wish we lived closer, Ev."
"Oh my gosh! Me too!" Everett said, with what looked to me like a look of pure adoration. I couldn't help loving this kid!
About that time, my phone rang. It was my dad's cell phone. (We get free service between other phones in the same network). "Dad?" I said, surprised he would be calling so late.
"Oh! I forgot about the three hours difference, Ben. Were you awake?"
"Yeah, it's okay. Actually I forgot too."
"I called my friend in the CPS here and she's going to contact the one near where your friend is from, in Texas."
"Dad -- is there any chance that you - "
"We're talking about it, Son. With you out of the house, well -- that gives us more room, as you know."
"Um, Dad, I may be coming back. I have no reason to stay here. And -- I know it would be cramped, but -- can Ev come stay with us this summer -- if it's necessary?"
"Who'd Ev?"
"He's Rex's next-in-line brother. He's seventeen -- soon to be eighteen. That is, if he WANTS to come."
"Oh -- dear. We only have 3 bedrooms. And you already have one foster brother in one of them."
"He's back?" I said.
"Yes. He begged to come back after deciding to leave. I guess your mother has a softer heart than I thought."
"My mother?" I taunted.
"Well, okay! Me too! But if those two little boys come here, they will need a room to themselves. And with you and -- did you call him Ev? -- if you two are also here, it'll get pretty crowded."
"It's worse than that, Dad."
"Huh?"
"There is the set of twins I told you about. They will need some place - "
"Omigod, Ben, what do you - - I just don't know!"
"Dad -- after summer, Ev has a scholarship -- here -- and I may come back too -- depending on -- on -- a lot of things."
"Ben, that's a lot to think about and consider. Let's take one thing at a time. Let's first get those little boys to safety. Okay?"
"Yeah, Dad. That's probably best." I said. "Bye -- for now."
"Ben - - I'll call you as soon as I know anything else." Said my dad. "G'bye, Son. I -- miss you!" He hung up.
Was my dad getting choked up?
"What was all that about?" Said Everett. "Were you talking about my -- my -- brothers?"
"Um -- well -- yes."
"What about them?"
"Ev -- I didn't want you to be exposed to that. Maybe you should talk to Rex."
"And maybe -- just maybe -- YOU should tell me what you and your father have planned to -- to -- break up my family!"
"<<SIGH!>>" I started. "Okay. Um -- Your dad sexually abused Rex in his early adolescence."
"No! He didn't!"
"At least that's what Rex told you. And then he abused you, as soon as you showed signs of maturing."
"WHO TOLD YOU THAT!!?" Everett exclaimed.
"You did. Did you forget?" I said. I paused to let Everett take it all in. Tears were already coursing down his face. "Everett, we HAVE to save your little brothers! Or is it okay with you that he will probably abuse them as he did you -- and the twins?"
Everett broke down into sobs -- right there on the bus. I urged him to move his crying to my shoulder. "My -- my -- my -- Daddy -- will -- will -- kill me - kill US!"
"I think your daddy will not be able to get close to you after -- after -- my dad's friend speaks to the local CPS."
"CPS?"
"Child Protective Services. They will move fast to get your brothers out of the house -- especially if you and your brothers -- and Rex -- corroborate on the story."
"But -- my mom. She'll be devastated."
"You want to know what I think?"
"What?" He asked.
"I think she will be relieved. No mother likes to see her children abused. But she also is afraid of him."
"How do you know that?" He said, half defensively.
"Am I wrong?"
"N-no." He stammered, looking down.
"Do you love your mom, Ev?"
"YES!"
"And your daddy -- do you love him?"
"Yeah -- I mean -- yeah -- well -- that's hard."
"Where are you boys going?" Said the driver.
"I dunno." I answered. "Somewhere we can talk -- somewhere warm. Maybe -- a coffee shop or - "
"There's a nice little place 3 stops from here. It's the end of the line before turning around. All the bus drivers stop for coffee there. You could get a ride back with me -- or catch a ride with one of the other drivers."
"Thanks." I said. I put my arm around Everett's shoulders. He melted into my side, and lay his head on my chest and heaved a long sigh. "It's gonna be okay, Ev -- no matter how bad it looks now."
"Is my Daddy gonna go to prison?" He asked, like a six year old.
"I guess that depends on the Texas laws and just how good his friends are in the legislature." I said. "I would think that he will probably want as little publicity as possible. What do you think?"
"Probably. He has threatened us -- me -- if I tell anyone. `This is our little secret.' He used to say."
"Did you ever tell him you didn't like it?" I asked. I was blown away by his answer:
"I -- well- no."
"Do you think it would have made any difference? I mean -- apparently he didn't do it with Rex."
"I think Rex told him no." Said Everett, shamefully.
"But you're a lot smaller than Rex. Do you think it would have mattered if you told him you didn't like it?"
There was a long pause. Finally he said, almost too low to be heard, "I couldn't lie -- not to my daddy."
Oh my God, I thought. He buried his face in my neck and started to sob. The bus stopped.
"I'll leave the door open. You boys can come in as soon as you're ready." Said the driver.
God bless that driver!
"Do you want to go in for a cup of coffee?" I asked.
He shook his head, then said, "In a minute -- hot chocolate -- hate coffee."
"Really?" I said almost gleefully. "Me too!"
Everett hugged me for about ten minutes while he gathered himself. We passed the driver on the way in. "I'll be back in about 2 hours. I doubt you will still be here, but if you are - "
"Thanks, uh - "
"Benjamin." Said the driver.
"Cool! That's MY name!" We both smiled, and went our ways.
Everett and I went into the small, cozy -- WARM -- café. I followed him to the darkest booth in the farthest corner.
A waitress came and we both ordered hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. We sat in silence for nearly fifteen minutes. I was out of ideas to make him feel better, and he was not talking either. Finally he said,
"Why does he do these things to us?"
"I know. It's impossible to get inside anyone's mind. He was probably abused in -- well -- maybe worse ways than he has treated you. Maybe - "
"Oh! You're talking about my daddy? I wasn't! I was talking about God."
"You believe in God?"
"Well -- yeah." He almost said it like a question.
"Do you believe God's good?"
"Of Course!" Said Everett.
"And yet -- how can you believe a god -- who you say you think is good -- does such bad things -- to people -- like you -- and I?"
"I must be bad -- or - "
" - or what?" I asked.
"Or I'm being punished because of the things my Daddy has done."
"You really think that God would punish you for what your father has done?"
"Our preacher has told us time and time again that the sins of the fathers will be passed on to the seventh generation."
"And you just accept this -- no questions asked?"
"Uh -- yes - - ?"
"Do you want to know what I think, Ev?"
"What?"
"God doesn't pass anything on. He doesn't pass sins on to you from your father. I think that the prophet who wrote that was teaching us about consequences."
"Consequences?"
"Yes. When we do terrible things -- especially against our children -- if we have any -- God is telling this to us as a warning. `If you do this evil, you will be condemning your own family down to as many as seven generations.' That's what I believe he is telling us."
"Why doesn't he just stop it, Ben? Why?"
"I don't think God operates that way. I believe we are here -- in this life -- for a short time, and then we go to a better place."
"Heaven?"
"Maybe. Some call it that. But I think that this is a testing place for us. Your dad will be judged for how well he handled the abuse he received -- if there was any -- and by what amount of light and truth was given to him to make things better -- again, if any. I don't think God is punishing you -- or me -- for things that others have done before us.
"But we still have to take the consequences of those things." I continued. "And when it comes time for us to be judged by God -- he will take all of the things that happened to us -- into account -- and he will know if we cold or we could not have known better than we were taught.
"But - " I paused, "since I seem to somehow understand this concept -- if that's what it is -- that means now I'm responsible to change things I see as bad - - for the better."
"What does that mean?" Everett was really struggling with this new concept.
"It means that -- for example -- let's say your great grandfather was super-abusive to his son -- your grandpa. Then he in turn was the same -- maybe not as bad -- to your daddy. Then he was also abusive to all of you -- but maybe not as bad. So, in reality, maybe your dad was doing his best -- trying NOT to do as his father had done, but ... that's hard, because it's all he knew. Almost everyone says, `I'll never do that to my kids', then almost everyone does the exact things they hated when they were growing up.
"But -- now that you know that this is a pattern -- if you recognize it -- it's up to you to stop the pattern -- and the abuse. If you have kids, you have to do everything in your power to not abuse them as you have been abused." I said.
"So, in other words, my daddy might not be responsible for what he has done?"
"Well, I don't know about that. I think he still has to live with the consequences of his actions -- just like you have to. But when the time comes to judge him -- only the Perfect Judge can know what is in his whole life -- or his heart. And God will send him -- or give him -- whatever reward he deserves."
"I -- I -- do love my daddy." Said Everett, again sounding like a preteen.
"That's good -- I think. But you also need to know that he cannot be allowed to hurt anyone else, now that you -- and I -- know what has been going on. We may be able to save two of your little brothers from what has been done to you."
"Wow."
"What?"
"I dunno. Part of me wants to run away and just hide from you -- and what you have told me. But part of me -- wants to believe it."
"Well, I'm sorry -- I truly am -- but it's now out of your -- or my -- hands. You can blame me -- if you need to -- because I am the one who told my dad about what I believed was going on."
Again, Everett sighed ominously. "I know -- or I think I know -- you're right, but I want to scream."
"Okay."
"Huh?"
"This café is the end of the city bus line. When we were walking from the bus in here, I noticed that there is some kind of woods or something across the street."
I asked the waitress about the woods across the street. "It's a park. It's closed at night. I wouldn't go there at night anyway."
"Why?" I asked.
"Too spooky for me. I don't like dark places."
"Oh." I said. Have any bad things happened there?"
"I don't think so. I just stay away form dark places at night."
"That's probably smart. Thanks."
Drink your chocolate." I said. "We're going across the street."
"She said it was closed." Everett said.
"Perfect!" I said smiling. We can go there and scream."
"I didn't mean REALLY scream!" He said, looking worried.
"I know you didn't. Let's go!" I said, in all seriousness.
Notes: Two little guys go into a closed park after dark. Is that safe? Or should they have taken the waitress's implied warning more seriously? Comments are welcome, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve