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Benny's House
Chapter 15 – Love Sucks
by Matt
Friday 10th April 2015
Benny lay on his side, staring at the empty side of the bed. This was the fourth consecutive day he had woken up alone in bed. 'Woken up' wasn't really the right term though, to wake up you had to sleep, something Benny had barely done all week. He had gotten so used to having Charlie at his side, that he simply felt lost without him.
He was disturbed by a knock at his door. Rolling onto his back, he called out, "Who is it?"
"It's me, Alex," a voice called back from the other side. Without waiting for an invite, he opened the door and stepped inside. "You okay?" he asked sympathetically.
"Yeah," Benny said unconvincingly with a slight shrug.
"Sorry, silly question," Alex said quietly as he approached the bed.
Benny frowned. He had pretty much requested to be left alone, by everyone. "What d'you want, Alex?"
The General was not deterred by Benny's cold tone. He briefly considered sitting on the bed, trying to engage, getting the younger teen to talk about his issues. Instead, he stuck to the reason for the impromptu visit. "Could you be down in your lounge in half an hour please?"
Benny's eyes narrowed. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.
"Just do it," Alex said, much sharper than he had intended it. He took a breath and added, "Please."
"Fine," Benny conceded reluctantly before rolling over to indicate that the conversation was over. He heard a sigh from Alex, who turned and headed back out of the room.
The young Master lay there for another fifteen minutes before showering and getting dressed. When he made his way downstairs, he expected Alex to be waiting for him, but the landing and the atrium were both deserted. As he opened the door to his lounge, he was surprised to see someone already in there.
"Victor!" Benny said in surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought your next appointment with Alex wasn't until next week."
"I'm not here to see Alex, Benny. I'm here to talk to you," the older man explained.
Benny was momentarily confused. He approached Victor, taking a seat opposite him, asking, "Why? Is there a problem with Alex? Something I need to know?"
"No, I'm here to talk to you... about you!" Victor replied, sitting up, his head tilting slightly, watching for the boy's reaction.
Benny chuckled, relaxing back in his seat. "Pfft, what for? I'm fine," he said dismissively.
Victor mirrored Benny's movements, relaxing in his seat too. "I'm sure you are. But it's always good to talk."
Benny glanced round at the door. "This was Alex's idea, wasn't it?" he asked accusingly.
"He's just concerned about you," Victor replied. "It's actually quite nice to see him worrying about someone else's needs. He really thinks a lot of you, you know."
Benny wanted to be annoyed at his General for going behind his back to bring in Victor, but the older man's words seemed to soften the blow a little. He really did find it comforting to know someone in the house cared about his wellbeing. He was right about Alex's progress too. The angry young man who had come to the house probably would have taken the current situation as an opportunity to stir up more trouble, rather than brining in help.
Benny took a deep breath. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "What do you want to talk about?"
"What do YOU want to talk about?" Victor turned the question back onto him.
"Nothing," Benny said bluntly. "Are we done then?" He jumped up from the seat, turning his back on Victor.
"Benny!"Victor said firmly.
Rolling his eyes, Benny turned back round and retook his seat, huffing.
"Well why don't we start with Monday? Tell me what happened," Victor suggested.
Benny shrugged. "Why? I'm sure Alex has told you everything already, hasn't he?"
"He's told me bits, but I want you to tell me about it," Victor requested.
"Okay, well... I was in a relationship with one of the Boys, Charlie. I don't think you know him. We'd been together a few weeks and things were.... great," Benny said, pausing a moment to think back on it before continuing. "So on Monday, I went downstairs and as I walked into one of the rooms, there was Charlie, talking to Philip about having to choose between being with him and being with me and... well, let's just say he didn't choose me."
"And how did that make you feel?" Victor asked.
Benny scoffed. "Fan-fucking-tastic, greatest feeling in the world!" he snapped sarcastically. "How do you think? At the time, it made me angry. No, not angry... fucking furious!"
Victor nodded understandingly. "Okay, so what happened then?"
"I had to find Roger," Benny explained, visibly wincing as he said the name. "I... I don't know why, I just... I needed to find him. So I went along to the room he was in, but when I went inside I found him... with Zane, I don't think you know him either."
Victor nodded. He hadn't met the other new Boy, but had heard a lot about him from the sessions with Alex. "So when you say 'with Zane', you mean..."
"WITH him, like.... together, intimately," Benny explained, his eyes widening.
"And that's a problem?" Victor asked.
"Yes it's a problem!" Benny snapped viciously. "It's one of the house rules. No relationships."
"Okay," Victor acknowledged, then asked, "So what then?"
Benny closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head slightly. "I ran. I... I just... ran and hid. I couldn't... I just couldn't..." His breathing was speeding up as he spoke about it. After taking a few moments to compose himself, he went on. "Alex came to find me and we spoke for a while, but then I asked to see Roger."
When Victor remained silent, Benny continued. "I... I was so mad at him. He was... I trusted him above everyone else and he was breaking the rules behind my back.... for weeks. I couldn't take it, I just... I told him to leave. To put so much trust in someone just to have him abuse it, I couldn't have that in my house!"
"What about the others? I mean, Roger wasn't the only one breaking the rules here, was he? What about Zane, Philip and Charlie? Did you kick them out too?" Victor asked.
"They're different," Benny said defensively. "They're subs. They break rules and they get punished, that's how it works. Roger was... in charge. He was meant to enforce my rules, not break them! But I did offer to let Zane leave."
"You... offered?" Victor asked, raising an eyebrow.
Benny shrugged. "Yeah, I figured if he and Roger were together, he might want to go with him. I told him he could stay here or he could just leave right then with Roger."
"And what did he do?"
Benny sighed. "He... I think he was going to leave, he went straight to Roger and they talked for a minute and it looked like he was going with him, but then... he turned around and said he'd stay."
"You don't look happy about that," Victor observed.
Benny sighed again. "No, I am... I love Zane, he's... I know should have them, but he's one of my favourites." Benny said with an unintentional smile. "But since then, he's... not the same."
"What do you mean?" Victor asked thoughtfully.
"Well I... didn't sleep well on Monday night. I guess I'm just not used to being alone. So on Tuesday night, I asked Zane to come to my room before bed."
"And what happened?"
Benny shook his head. "Nothing!" Victor gave him a quizzical look, so he explained, "Zane is... wilful and stubborn and playful. I... call him my little pup. I'll tell him to sleep in one spot of the bedroom, but he always moves and either lays alongside my bed, or just gets in with me." Benny couldn't help smiling as he explained it, but it quickly dropped away again. "But Tuesday night, he... stayed where I told him to. No moving, no complaining, no questioning. Just a blank 'Yes Sir' and he did what I said."
Victor frowned. "A sub who does what he's told. Isn't that what you want?"
Benny sighed, shaking his head. "Not with him. He's different, he's... challenging in all the right ways."
"Okay," Victor said quietly. "So why don't you tell me about Charlie and Philip."
Benny shrugged. "There's not really much to tell. I had Charlie move to different Dorm. They broke the rules, so they will be punished."
"Will be?" Victor asked, "It's been, what, four days. Shouldn't you have done it by now?"
Benny squirmed a little. He had been avoiding the two of them since Monday. He had hoped that would not come up. "I'm just... building anticipation." Benny lied.
"Uh huh," Victor said incredulously. He took a deep breath before his next question. "Do you want to talk about Wednesday night?"
Benny turned pale, eyes wide with shock. He knew Alex would have mentioned everything that went down on Monday, but was surprised to hear that Wednesday had been mentioned too.
"Do I have to?" Benny asked sheepishly.
Victor shook his head. "No, you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, but it might help."
Benny closed his eyes and rubbed his face for a few seconds with both hands before dropping them away and looking at Victor. "Okay, so Wednesday I figured I should start getting more involved in the house again, especially with only having two Generals. When everyone got assigned their evening tasks, I got given David and Quentin."
Victor just continued to listen intently, allowing Benny to continue in his own time.
"I... guess I started off pretty normally, but.... I don't really know what happened. I kinda got carried away." Benny explained.
"What happened?" Victor asked, the concern on his face obvious.
Benny opened his mouth, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he choked back a sob as tears began to form. He struggled for a few moments before managing to say, "I hurt them." He repeated it again as he lowered his face into his hands.
It only took a few moments before Benny sat back up, sniffing, wiping his cheeks, determined to keep going. "I hurt them," he said once more. "I had them restrained, and I started doing the usual stuff... floggers, the cane a bit of candle wax, but I just kept going. I knew they wanted me to stop, I knew I should, but I just kept going."
"Why?" Victor asked flatly.
"Because," Benny started, still attempting to compose himself. "Because I was angry. So... fucking... angry!" His teeth were gritted, teeth clenched.
"Have you ever felt like that before?" Victor probed. In his time with Benny, he had seen the boy annoyed, but the way he was talking was like nothing he could ever have imagined from him.
Benny nodded, thinking back. "Yeah," he said, his voice quiet as if he were caught up in a dream. "Once, a couple of years ago. My first sub, I hurt him too. Not long after I moved in here, I kinda got the chance to put that right and I made a promise to myself that I would never let anything like that happen again."
"So why did it happen?"
"Because I was angry!" Benny snapped.
"Were you angry with David and Quentin? Is that why you hurt them?" Victor asked cautiously.
"No." Benny replied quickly.
"Who then? Charlie? Philip? Zane? Roger?" Victor suggested.
Benny thought for a moment, his head slowly lowering. "No. I mean... yes, I'm angry at all of them a bit, but it wasn't them."
"Then who?" Victor demanded.
"Me!" Benny said weakly. He looked back up, his cheeks wet with tears again. "I'm angry at myself. I made Roger leave."
Victor went silent for a few moments, thinking about where to go next. As he relaxed back in his seat, he said, "Tell me about Roger. Tell me about how you two met."
Saturday 1st December 2012
The weather in November had been awful, meaning Benny's guy-searching had been restricted mostly to online activity. Now, though, it had been an unseasonably pleasant day, so as soon as his parents had gone to bed, Benny had got up and sneaked out of the house. Over the past couple of months, he had tried out a lot of cruising areas around town and had found his favourite. He quickly made his way there, looking for his usual prey... middle-aged closet-cases with big bank accounts.
He took his usual seat on one of the benches. He didn't really have to do much work himself. Looking very much his age, thirteen-year-old Benny easily stood out and immediately attracted the attention of a certain type of guy. He hadn't been sitting there long when a guy in his mid-forties walked along, looking round nervously and sat beside.
"What you looking for?" the man growled quietly.
"Cock!" Benny replied bluntly with a devilish grin.
"I can help with that," the man said, grinning back. "But can we go somewhere more private, I gotta be discreet!"
'Another closet case!" Benny thought happily to himself. He had the routine down perfectly now. Draw them in, fool round with them while secretly recording it, then demand money for his silence. He was about to get and go with the man when someone else appeared further down the path. It was young guy, but he was big.
The older man looked at the oncoming stranger nervously, then quickly stood and took off in the opposite direction. "Maybe another time."
Benny nearly followed, but if the man had been scared off that easily, he was unlikely to risk doing anything now. Instead, Benny turned his attention to the oncoming stranger. By now, the young guy had almost reached the bench. Benny jumped up and faced him. "Thanks a fucking lot. You scared him off!" he snapped angrily.
The young guy looked down at the angry teen, smirking. The scrawny boy was easily two foot shorter and third of his weight, but that didn't seem to put him off. "Sorry, kid. Didn't mean to."
"Ugh, whatever, just... fuck off you.... giant!" Benny snapped, then flopped back down onto the bench.
The young man grinned at the reaction, then, just to see what would happen, sat down beside him. "I'm Roger," he said, offering a hand to shake.
Benny looked down at the hand, up at Roger's face, then back down to the hand. "I thought I told you to fuck off!"
Roger retracted the hand and shrugged. "Yeah, I don't really follow orders... well not unless they come from my dom. Although he's...." his voice trailed off.
"Oh, you in need of a new dom?" Benny asked, a grin replacing his scowl.
"Yeah, you know any?" Roger asked with a smile.
Benny just stared back at him, watching as the smile gave way to a sense of realisation.
"Stand up," Benny said, his eyes narrowing slightly.
Roger hesitated for just a moment, then followed the command.
"Take off your clothes!" Benny said firmly.
"What, right here?" Roger asked nervously.
Benny jumped to his feet, staring up at Roger, his eyes glinting slightly in the moonlight. "Did I give you permission to talk?"
Roger immediately shook his head.
"That's better, now... take... off... your clothes." Benny repeated slowly.
Roger looked round, terrified of being spotted as he started pulling off his clothes. A few moments later, his coat and shirt were thrown on the bench, trousers and underwear down round his ankles.
"Good boy," Benny said with a grin. He reached up and placed a hand on his chest, caressing a nipple that had quickly stiffened in the cool air.
Roger shuddered as the boy's hand made its way down his body, taking hold of his rapidly stiffening cock.
Benny let go and sat back down.
"Jerk off for me," he ordered.
Roger peered round nervously once again, but complied, his hand grasping at his meaty erection. He started stroking quickly, staring down at the boy on the bench. He didn't know whether it was the danger of being caught naked somewhere so public, or some kind of intoxicating effect that the boy had on him, but he was ready to cum less than a minute later.
"May I cum?" Roger asked.
"Sure," Benny said happily, looking forward to seeing the large young man ejaculate.
"Aaah," Roger moaned as he shot his load all over the bench to Benny's side. When his hand finally stopped pumping, he stood facing the boy, panting heavily.
"On your knees!" Benny snapped.
Once again, Roger did as he was told. He was expecting an order of 'suck my cock', which he was more than happy to do.
"Lick it up!" Benny said with an evil grin, pointing to the large splats of cum on the wooden slats of the bench.
Roger looked shocked, but without hesitation, leant down and started sucking his spunk up as ordered.
"Good boy," Benny said, pulling his own erection out from his jeans, "Now suck this!"
"Gladly," Roger said happily, taking the boy's erection between his lips.
Benny leaned back on the bench, throwing his head back. He bit a lip to avoid calling out. Whoever this guy was, he could really suck! "Oh you're good at that," Benny said happily, placing a hand on the back of his head.
Roger didn't stop to reply, instead, he simply sped up his actions. It only took another minute before Benny's fingers tightened in his hair and a heavy load filled his mouth.
When the orgasm finally subsided, Benny used the handful of hair to pull Roger off of his cock, looking down into his eyes. "What did you say your name was again?"
"I'm Roger," he said happily.
"Hi Roger, you can call me Sir!" Benny replied with a grin.
Victor listened to the story. During his brief time in the house, he had heard various stories about how Benny and Roger had met, but he quickly realised that they were nothing more than speculation. At least now he knew.
"So you and Roger have been together for quite a long time then?" Victor asked.
"Yeah, nearly two and a half years," Benny said, smiling for a moment before remembering that it was now over.
"Have you ever fallen out before?" Victor asked.
"No. he's always been the perfect sub. I think I'd been meeting him for about a month when I kinda realised that he was... a keeper. From then on, he was just... always there. He's the one who gave me the idea for this place, he helped me find it, got it up and running. None of this would be here if it wasn't for him."
"Sounds like he's very important to you," Victor said sympathetically.
"He is... was," Benny said back, shaking his head slightly as he thought about him.
"Do you think you made the right call on kicking him out?" Victor asked bluntly.
"Yes," Benny replied immediately, then added, "I don't like it. Honestly, I want him back, but... I think I had to do it."
"You don't sound sure," Victor observed.
Benny chuckled. "Yeah, that's because I'm not."
"It's not too late to change your mind, you know," Victor suggested, leaning forward towards Benny.
"Of course it is," Benny insisted. "I'm... I'm the Master. How does it look if I go and change my mind on something as big as this? Besides, you didn't see the look on Roger's face. He'd never forgive me."
Victor took a deep breath. "Look Benny. I'm a little torn here. This is kind of why I don't like doing this sort of thing. I've got advice I'd give you as a therapist and I've got advice I'd give you as a former sub and I really don't know which one to give you."
"Well what would therapist you say?" Benny asked curiously.
"I'd say you need to be logical about this. Take some time, think about how you feel about what happened and each person's involvement, then speak to them about it. Clear the air, deal with the issues. And that even goes for Roger. Regardless of whether you want him back here or not, you ended a very long relationship on bad terms with very little communication and you left a lot unresolved. Talk to people and don't bottle it up or things like Wednesday will keep happening." Victor explained.
Benny thought about it for a moment, nodding understandingly. "Okay, so what would you say as my former sub then?" he asked.
"Go and get him!" Victor said with a smile. "It was always Benny and Roger. You were the Master, he was your enforcer. He was the strict authoritarian, you were the fun taskmaster. You balanced each other, you worked well together and it was so obvious how close you were. Yeah, he broke a rule, but it was a rule you made. You're in charge here, that means you have the power to make up the rules and punish people when they break them, but every single decision is your to make. You decide you want him back but you're worried what people will say? Well fuck them, you're the Master!"
Benny grinned as he nodded. "You're both right," he said with a smirk.
"We're glad you think so," Victor chuckled back.
Benny stood up and Victor did the same. The young Master stepped towards the older man and pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you," Benny said quietly.
"No problem," Victor smiled back when they parted. "How about next week when I come to see Alex, we have another chat then, just to see how you're doing?"
"Yeah, yeah that'd be good. Thanks," Benny said happily. It was definitely a comfort knowing he still had someone he could talk to.
Zane flopped onto his bed. He had just endured one of Alex's games which had been both physically and mentally tiring. He had quickly showered before coming back to his Dorm.
"Hey," a voice came from above him.
"Yaargh!" Zane yelled out, jumping up. He quickly realised it was just Charlie on the bunk above him. He still hadn't got used to having him in the Dorm, so hadn't even bothered to look if anyone was up there.
Charlie's head appeared, looking down at him. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump."
"You didn't," Zane lied, trying to look unflustered.
"Oh, good," Charlie smiled weakly. "You okay then?"
Zane nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah," he said flatly. "I'm fine."
"No you're not," Charlie said back matter-of-factly.
Zane scowled, "And how would you know that?" He folded his arms as he looked up at Charlie.
"Because you were in love, and now you can't even see guy you love," Charlie explained.
Zane suddenly felt annoyed that someone could be so presumptuous as to assume they could understand how he felt. He was going to say something about it when he realised Charlie really could understand. His relationship with Benny had ended and at the same time, his potential relationship with Philip had been cut off before it truly started.
"Yeah, sucks, doesn't it!" he said sympathetically.
Charlie just nodded sadly, not sure what else to say.
"Is it... better, or worse? Having them here, I mean. Like, with me, Roger's gone," Zane started, his voice wavering a little at the mention of the name, "And that really sucks, but at least I don't have to see him."
Charlie climbed down off the bed and sat on the end of Zane's. He thought about the question for a moment and shrugged. "I don't know if you can really say better or worse for stuff like this. Your situation and mine, they're just different, but equally shit!"
Zane nodded his agreement.
"Benny's totally avoiding me. How does he seem to you?" Charlie asked. He knew his question had a definite tone of 'I'm hurting and I want to know that my ex is too', but he didn't care.
Zane shrugged. "Who gives a fuck. He's a cunt," he sneered venomously.
Charlie was a little taken aback with the aggression. "You're still mad at him then?"
"He made Roger leave!" Zane snapped. "Am I just supposed to get over that?"
"No, of course not, but... this is his house. If you're that pissed at him, why stay?" Charlie asked curiously.
Zane sat up, leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest. "I didn't want to," he answered honestly. "When Benny asked if I wanted to stay or go, my first thought was just to go with Roger and never look back."
"What changed your mind?" Charlie asked with a slight frown.
"Roger!" Zane said, pursing his lips and thinking back, his eyes watering. "He said... he said that being with me had cost him the most important thing in his life and that he didn't want to be with me any more."
"Oh my God," Charlie said, "That's awful."
Zane nodded. "It is, but... he didn't mean it. I got an email from him that night, telling me what he said wasn't true. He said that he wasn't sure where he was going to go or where he would be staying and he didn't want me to have to go through that with him, so he just said those things to get me to stay here, where I'd be okay." The younger man started to cry.
Charlie quickly moved to his side and placed an arm around him. "Love really sucks sometimes."
Zane leaned against Charlie, head on his shoulder and hummed his agreement.
Benny sat in his private lounge, staring down at the blank diary in front of him. He hadn't written in it all week but as he twirled the pen around between his fingers, he just couldn't bring himself to put anything down. Writing had been a massive help over the last couple of years, aiding him in sorting through the range of emotions he struggled with at times.
He knew he wasn't like other boys his own age. Aside from his more adult-oriented interests, he had taken on a lot of responsibility when he started the house, sometimes even more than he had ever expected, and while he loved it most of the time, there were moments when he hated it. In those usually-brief moments, he wished he could go back to being a normal teenager. He would see the other boys at school, worrying about dates and football matches and homework and a million other things. Most of the time, their concerns seemed pathetically meaningless to the young Master, actually to the point of amusing him, but as he moped in his lounge, he wished he could just be one of them.
He shook his head and threw down the pen, just as there was a knock at the door. "What?" he snapped.
"Can I come in?" a voice called back. Benny recognised it as Philip.
Benny sighed. He figured he had avoided the problem long enough. 'Speak to them about it. Clear the air.' That was what Victor had recommended. At least it was Philip rather than Charlie. As much as Benny wanted to follow Victor's advice, he still dreaded the thought of talking to Charlie.
"Yeah, come in," Benny finally called out.
The door opened painfully slowly. Philip was obviously dreading the imminent conversation as much as he was. He crept his way in, pushed the door closed then stared at his Master. The awkward silence that hung between them was terrifying. There were several moments when each of them wanted to just get up and run, but they both stayed strong, staring.
"Did..." Benny said with a slight squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Did you want something?" he asked as emotionlessly as he could manage.
Philip's jaw trembled. "I... I can't... I can't wait any more. Please however you're gonna punish me, just do it," he blurted out loudly.
Benny was a little taken aback. Needless to say it was not what he had expected. Benny frowned at the young man, tilting his head slightly to one side. "You want to be punished?" Benny asked in surprise.
Philip nodded, looking more and more like he was barely holding it together.
"Sit down," Benny said, gesturing to the seat. When the Boy obeyed, Benny continued staring for a few more moments before asking, "Why?"
"Because I hate this," Philip said quietly. "I... I lost my best friend, I let down my Master, I messed up so much of the house and it's all my fault."
"Your fault?" Benny asked, leaning back in his seat and frowning anew. "How do you figure that?"
"Well everything was great. The house was... amazing, you and Charlie were so happy together, Roger was still here and I loved it, then because I... did what I did with Charlie, it made everything go wrong." Philip rambled, his breathing getting heavier. "And I feel like I'm going insane. I can't see Charlie, everything's weird without Roger and I can't even serve you."
Benny took a deep breath. He found his mind rushing back a couple of months, to the night he had gone out with Philip as his prize for the competition. 'I'm at the house because I'm yours'. That was what he had said that night and it was very much true. Before becoming infatuated by Charlie, and fascinated by Zane, Philip had been one of Benny's favourites. His soft-spoken manner, his obvious devotion to servitude, everything about him was just everything a master could hope for.
'What did he actually do?' Benny asked himself. 'He didn't cheat on you, he didn't lie to you, he barely even broke the rules.' Benny felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He was lucky enough to have a wonderful sub like Philip and he had let issues caused by other people hurt him.
"Stand up," Benny said firmly, doing the same.
Philip complied, visibly shaking as he watched Benny walk closer. He flinched very slightly as Benny reached up towards him but quickly realised the teen meant no harm. Benny's arms wrapped around him and, unexpectedly, pulled him into a hug. Philip stood frozen for several moments before finally returning the gesture.
"S... Sir?" Philip asked quietly.
"I'm sorry," Benny replied in a similar tone.
"What? Why?" Philip asked in shock, pulling away.
"It... I... ugh, I can't talk about it any more," Benny stammered, shaking his head. "But I've treated you poorly and despite what you seem to think, none of this is your fault, so please, please stop thinking that." He leant into another hug, which Philip immediately reciprocated.
"So... you don't... hate me?" Philip asked shakily.
"Of course not," Benny whispered back. "You're my Boy."
"Always!" Philip added quickly.
The two stood holding each other for several minutes, both revelling in the sense of relief they felt.
When they finally parted, they exchanged awkward smiles. Benny sat back down while Philip remained standing there, unsure what he was supposed to do next.
"Do you love him?" Benny asked with a slight frown. When Philip's face twisted into a matching frown, he elaborated. "Charlie, I mean. Do you...love him?"
"No," Philip insisted, his head shaking slightly. "Well, yes, as a friend I totally do."
"How about as more than a friend?" Benny forced himself to ask. In a way, he really didn't want to know, but he knew he needed to find out more. So much of what he 'knew' about the situation was based entirely on assumptions, ones that had thus far proven mostly incorrect.
"I... I really don't know," Philip replied honestly. "What you saw... on Monday... that was..." he paused, thinking of the best way to put it. He sighed and continued, "It was the beginning. It was kinda... well, you know that bit right at the beginning where you both realise you kinda like each other and that there might actually be something worth exploring." Philip smiled sweetly, glad to have found a way to express the situation the way he felt it. It quickly faded away though as he realised that the 'moment' he was referring to had been shared with Benny's lover!
Benny nodded thoughtfully. The pain in his eyes was obvious, but he just about managed to put on a brave facade. He took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Thanks... for being so honest. For coming to see me, too. I know that can't have been easy for you."
Philip shrugged. "It wasn't, but I needed things to be right between us. You're... you're my master."
Benny continued smiling, but now it appeared a lot more genuine. "You can go now," Benny instructed, looking away to indicate that their conversation was over.
Malik and Alex had started taking it in turns covering some of Roger's former roles. That night, it was Alex who had been tasked with ensuring everyone settled into their dorms for the night and that everything was taken care of before heading to bed. He was just about to head upstairs to bed when he noticed a thin sliver of light shining from beneath the door to Benny's lounge. He made his way across and knocked.
"Come in," Benny called out without asking who it was.
As Alex walked in, he found Benny in his usual seat. "You're up late," Alex said. He realised he was stating the obvious, but it seemed easier than asking, 'How are you doing?' or 'Are you okay?'.
Benny nodded back at him. "Yeah, I... don't feel much like sleeping," Benny said with a slight pout.
"I heard Philip came to see you? How did it go?" Alex asked cautiously. He was pleasantly surprised to see a slight smile spread across the young Master's face.
"Really well, actually," Benny said happily, but the joy quickly dropped into something more like his previous expression, "But it just made me realise how fucked up everything is right now."
"It's not that bad," Alex said in a painfully transparent attempt to cheer him up. Benny stared back it him, eyebrows raised, so he added, "Well okay, maybe it IS pretty bad, but it could be worse."
"I don't see how," Benny sighed.
Alex approached the younger teen and sat beside him. "Well..." he started, grinning devilishly, "You could have some evil git tickling you mercilessly." Just as Benny immediately started to protest, Alex lunged at him, tickling his sides.
Benny broke down into hysterical laughter, squirming to get away from Alex's teasing fingers. The older boy jumped onto his lap, pinning him down as he continued to tickle.
Benny's helpless laughter continued until he could barely breathe. As the young Master gasped for his breath, his laughter started turning into crying.
"Oh God, I'm sorry," Alex apologised, thinking he may have hurt the smaller teen.
"I can't do it," Benny sobbed, leaning forward and burying his face into Alex's stomach, arms wrapping around him.
Alex held him, staring down with concern. "Can't do what?" he asked quietly, one hand making its way up to stroke through the crying boy's soft, blonde hair.
"All of it," Benny replied, his voice muffled. "I don't want to be the Master any more. It's too hard. It's just... too hard."
Alex climbed off of Benny's lap, sitting beside him again, slightly further along the sofa. He reached to the side and pulled Benny so that he lay down, resting his head on Alex's leg. The concerned General placed one hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently while the other continued to stroke through his hair. He didn't know what to say, it was not something he had ever expected to hear.
Benny eventually cried himself to sleep. Alex sat there, watching over him as he slept. They sat there for about an hour before Benny finally stirred. He rolled onto his back, looking up at Alex.
"You okay?" Alex asked gently.
Benny nodded slightly.
Alex rested a hand on Benny's chest as he stared down. "Did you mean it... what you said before?" he asked, his voice heavy with concern.
Benny shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not. It's just..."
"Not easy?" Alex suggested, getting a nod of agreement. "With great power comes great responsibility," he said seriously.
Benny shot up in his seat. "Seriously?" Benny snapped furiously. "I'm laying there doubting my entire way of life and you quote Spider-Man at me?"
Alex looked shocked at the outburst, unsure how to respond.
"I'm just messing with you," Benny said, a grin spreading across his face.
"You fucker!" Alex scowled through a smile. They both started laughing.
As the laughing died down, Benny sighed. "Thank you," he said thoughtfully. "This week has been... tough, but you've helped so much."
"It's only fair, considering how much you've helped me," Alex said happily, "Besides, it's what I'm here for, isn't it? Anyway, we should both be heading to bed."
Benny nodded his agreement. They both got up and headed out into the atrium, then up the stairs. As they reached the top, Benny gave Alex a quick hug, then they turned opposite ways to head to their rooms.
As the young Master reached his door, he felt a sudden surge of hope. He had set things right with Philip and he had a lot of support from Alex. He suddenly felt like he could actually get through this. Smiling, he opened his door and stepped inside. As he turned to close the door, it swung quickly away from his hand, slamming shut. A large figure loomed over him in the darkness. He stepped back and reached for the light switch.
The light clicked on and Benny found stared in shock. "R... Roger?"
"Hi... Sir!" Roger said, sneering the title.
"What are you doing here?" Benny asked, stepping back nervously. Roger looked terrifying. His usual calm and tidy appearance had been replaced with a scruffy appearance and an almost rabid look in his eyes.
"I came to talk," Roger said, pacing forward to maintain his proximity to the nervous-looking teen.
"But how did you..." Benny started, but he never got the chance to finish the question. Roger lunged forward and grabbed him, taking a handful of his t-shirt, just below the neckline. "Urrk," Benny gasped as he felt himself getting pushed against the wall, Roger's hand moving up to grasp his neck.
"Shut up!" Roger snapped angrily. "Shut up you... you... little cunt!"
Benny reached up for Roger's hand, attempting to release himself as he started to tremble. Roger had always been a very intimidating young man, as much from his personality as from his size, but that was the first time Benny had been genuinely scared of him. The whiff of alcohol on his breath was unmistakeable.
"You threw me out!" Roger said, eyes wild. "You just... threw me out, like I was nothing!"
"Urrk..." Benny clucked again, the hand pressing into his throat stifling his ability to talk almost as much as the fear.
"I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" Roger yelled, moving his face even closer, his nose almost touching Benny's, making the boy flinch with every syllable. "I gave you everything," Roger repeated, his voice now barely more than a whisper, "I gave up my life, my home, my job, my friends, everything... all for this house, all for you and you just threw me aside."
Roger's grip tightened making Benny gasp. Inexplicably, Benny found his mind rushing back to Josh, to the day he had choked his sub in a similar fit of rage to the one he was now being subjected to. For just a moment, he thought it would be almost poetic to meet his end that way. Everything started going slightly hazy, his peripheral vision seeming to start getting lighter.
Was this it? Would this be the end of Benny Harrison? Part of him wanted to let it happen. Another part of him wanted to fight, to hit back, to make him suffer for his lies. Neither of those parts ended up winning out in the end, instead, with what could well have been his last breath, he forced the words out, "Roger... I... love... you..."
It worked. The grip loosened a little, enough for the embattled teen to take down a few deep, desperate gulps of air.
"You... you..." Roger stuttered.
Benny took another deep, shaky breath. "I love you," he repeated. Trembling, panting, terrified and distraught, Benny did the only thing he could think of in the moment... he kissed Roger.
The large man stood there, shocked over what he had just done and even more confused about the teen's reaction to it. He allowed it though, kissing the boy back. Their bodies pressed together. One of them was shaking, maybe both of them, it was getting hard for them to tell.
Benny finally pulled away slightly, immediately rambling, "I love you Roger, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, I love you. Please, don't ever go away again. I shouldn't have made you leave. I... I overreacted. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry." His words were barely understandable between his sobs and gasps for air.
"What did I do?" Roger muttered, his eyes vacant.
"Roger?" Benny asked seeing the haunted look on his face. It suddenly hit him. Moments earlier, he had gotten a glimpse of what it was like to be the victim of that sort of attack, but he knew from his own experience that being on the other side of it could be pretty disturbing too. His mind rushed back to that day when he had attacked Josh, how the realisation of his actions had struck him afterwards. It was like a fog suddenly lifted away, revealing what he had done in all of its terrifying and repulsive brutality. Now it looked like Roger was feeling the same thing.
"Roger," Benny repeated, placing a hand on his friend's cheek. "Look at me."
"What did I do?" Roger repeated, backing away as Benny stared at him. "I wanted to hurt you. You... you just tossed me aside... and I wanted to hurt you." His words seemed almost involuntary, like the things going through his mind were just pouring out of their own accord. "I gave you everything I had, everything I was, but I was nothing to you."
"Roger, stop," Benny snapped. The stern tone seemed to shock him out of his stupor very slightly, so Benny continued. "Sit down." He pointed over at the sofa in the corner.
Roger peered round to where the boy had pointed, then walked over to it slowly, sitting down as ordered. Benny approached and knelt down in front of him, staring up into his eyes.
"I made..." Benny started. He had to gulp to hold back his tears. He was determined not to break down again. It felt like he had spent all day crying and he couldn't do it any more. Besides, Roger was clearly fragile, so he had to be strong. "I made a mistake. A BIG mistake. I overreacted and did probably the most stupid thing I've ever done. You... you run my house, you control my subs, you're my best friend and..." he gulped back tears again, "And I love you, Roger. I love you so much that every day you wasn't here, it felt like I was dying."
"But I just... I almost..." Roger stuttered. "What I just did to you."
"Okay, I didn't love that..." Benny said, attempting a smile, "Let's just say we've both made mistakes. But, please... please come back, please forgive me. I can't do it without you."
Roger stared in amazement. "Even after... this, you still want me back?"
"No," Benny said, shaking his head, "I NEED you back!"
Roger sat back in the seat, looking concerned. "What about Zane?"
Benny got up and sat beside him on the sofa, frowning. "What about him?"
"I love him," Roger said bluntly. "Walking away and telling him to stay was literally the hardest thing I've ever done. If I had to be around him all the time, but couldn't be WITH him... I don't think I could take it." He could see the cogs turning as Benny thought about what he was saying, so he added, "He'll still be yours, just like I will, but... he'd also... be mine."
Benny shook his head. "Don't make me think about this tonight, please. I'm just... so tired."
"Yeah, I should probably go," Roger said, glancing at the clock. It was almost 2 am now. He moved to stand, but Benny's hand grabbed at him.
Silently, Benny's eyes met Roger's, then flicked across towards the bed. Roger smiled and nodded as the two of them made their way over to it. They quickly undressed and got in. For several minutes, they both just lay on their backs staring up at the ceiling. Gradually, their hands moved closer together until their pinkies touched. They hooked together, pulling each other's hands closer. For a few more minutes they just lay there holding hands until Benny shuffled across and rested his head against Roger's arm.
"I meant what I said before, Roger. I love you. You mean the world to me," Benny explained barely louder than a whisper.
Roger raised his arm and wrapped it around the teen beside him, pulling him close. "I love you too, Sir."
Benny smiled at the 'Sir', nuzzling his lips into Roger's neck and planting a delicate kiss on it. He pulled away just enough to look into Roger's eyes. The look they exchanged was all they needed. Benny pounced, climbing on top of the bigger man, straddling his hips and staring down at him. He wanted to tell him how much he had missed him. It had only been four days, but had felt a lot longer, but now wasn't the time for words, it was time for action.
Benny reached down and ran his hands across Roger's chest, enjoying the surprisingly soft mew his touch triggered. He let his hands explore, caressing the muscles, smiling as he felt the slight firmness of nipples sliding beneath his palms and the reaction it caused in his sub.
Roger's hands made their way up onto Benny's hips. The teen shuddered at the sensation, but shook his head teasingly. He slid off of Roger and reached over to one of the drawers, grabbing some rope. Seconds later, Roger's wrists were bound to the headboard. As Benny climbed back into his previous position, the increasing firmness of Roger's erection was now complete, a solid shaft resting teasingly between his cheeks. He slid back and forth on it ever-so-gently, stroking it with his arse, Roger's mewing turning into a low growl.
"Turn over," Benny ordered, climbing off.
Roger immediately complied, his arm crossing over as he did it, restricting his movement even more, keeping his head pinned between his arms. Benny started gently, running his hands down Roger's muscled back, onto the firm mounds of his buttocks, cupping one in each hand. He pulled his hands away, raised one and slammed it down with a loud SLAP. He quickly did the same on the other cheek.
Roger grunted. With his face buried in the pillows it was hard to tell whether it was a grunt of pleasure or pain. Either way, Benny continued, slapping each cheek in turn over and over as they turned a brighter and brighter red. He lost himself in it for a few moments. As much as he had missed him, as much as he wanted his friend back, he still harboured some negative feelings for what he had done. He stopped, worried that it was now entirely pain rather than pleasure.
"Sorry, kinda got carried away," Benny said sheepishly, rubbing a hand soothingly over one of the buttocks.
"Keep going," Roger said firmly.
Benny was a little taken aback. "What?"
"Keep going. Harder!" Roger barked.
He was a little sceptical, but Benny carried on as requested. He started hitting more and more lightly, flinching sympathetically every time his hand made contact with the burning flesh.
"HARDER!" Roger demanded even louder than before.
"What are you..." Benny started, but was interrupted.
Roger raised his head, turned it to the side as much as he could and called out, "KEEP GOING!" When Benny just sat there, he added, "JUST HIT ME!"
"Roger..." Benny lay down beside the angry man, placing a hand on his back. He could feel the man shaking slightly.
"I hurt you," Roger whispered. "I need you to hurt me back."
Benny's eyes narrowed. "I'll give you exactly what you deserve," he said with a gentle nod. "Turn back over."
As the restrained man flipped back over, Benny couldn't help noticing the wetness around his eyes. It broke his heart to see Roger like this.
"Are you ready to get what you deserve?" Benny asked with a sneer.
Roger simply nodded. Benny lunged towards him, making him flinch slightly, but he quickly realised there was no need. The boy's lips just pressed against his own.
"Sir, what..."
"I'm not going to hurt you Roger. There's been enough hurting already and... I'm sick of it. I want to be happy again," Benny explained. "Think you can live with that?"
Roger smiled. "Yes Sir."
"Good, now... legs in the air. I REALLY wanna fuck you!" Benny said with a devilish grin.
As the teen reached for some lube, Roger eagerly raised and parted his legs, exposing his hole ready. Benny stroked some lube onto his cock. He had been in such a funk since Roger left that he had barely cum all week. His cock was throbbing now, though. Sufficiently slick, Benny starting pushing inside Roger. The look of ecstasy on his face was matched by Roger, both of them delighting in the sensation they had both doubted they would ever feel again.
Benny wanted to go hard and fast, he wanted to cum, he wanted to fill Roger with his seed, but part of him made himself hold back. Instead, he took it slowly, delicately, enjoying the entire experience. It wasn't just about his cock inside of Roger, it was the feeling of Roger's bare skin against his, it was the constant, lingering stare they shared, it was deep, pleasured breathing that had become perfectly synchronised. He wasn't fucking his sub, he was making love to his friend.
"Ah, Benny," Roger moaned happily, his hand reaching out to stroke the boy's thigh.
The speed gradually increased as the young Master reached down and started stroking Roger's throbbing cock. With a guttural moan, Benny finally erupted inside him. Roger echoed the sound as his own cock started spurting in Benny's hand, sending several thick shots of goo straight up in the air. They splatted down heavily all over both of them.
As the orgasms subsided and they started to catch their breath, they started laughing. Nothing was funny, it was just from the wave of relief that surged through them, both physical and emotional.
"I think I need a shower," Benny said, looking down at his sweat and cum-drenched body.
"Same here," Roger agreed, his own body in a similar state.
Benny headed into his bathroom and turned on the shower. As he waited for the water to heat up, he heard Roger pace in behind him. Large, muscled arms draped down over his shoulders and he leaned back against his firm, if somewhat slimy, torso, gripping tightly onto his forearms.
They stepped into the shower together, letting the warm water drench them both. Roger eventually went to pull his hands away so he could soap himself up, but Benny gripped the arms more tightly. He tilted his head back into Roger's chest, looking up at him.
"You okay?" Roger asked, looking down.
"You can be with him," Benny said quietly.
"What?" Roger asked, his face lighting up.
Benny nodded, looking away. "I meant what I said, I want to be happy, but I want you to be happy too. And if being with Zane will make you happy, then... you can do it."
"Are you sure?" Roger asked, amazed at what he was hearing.
Benny turned to face him. He was frowning at first, but as he saw the abject delight on Roger's face, he began to smile. "Yeah. Yeah I'm sure," he said with a nod.
Roger pulled him into a tight hug. "You really are the best Master ever!"
Benny wasn't alone when he woke. There was somebody beside him, somebody that made his so indescribably happy that he was grinning before he even opened his eyes. He had fallen asleep nestled into Roger's side, a large, muscled arm wrapped tightly around him. They hadn't moved, both waking up in the same position.
"I was kinda scared I'd just dreamed last night," Benny confessed, stretching an arm across Roger's stomach.
"Me too. I really thought I'd never be here again," Roger said back sleepily. He reached up onto his stomach and grasped Benny's hand in his own. He grinned cheekily and led the teen's hand lower, placing it on his rather sizeable erection.
Benny sniggered at the firmness beneath his fingers. Happily, he let go of Roger's hand and instead grasped at his cock. As he started to stroke it, he moved his head slightly, positioning his lips over a nipple. He blew on it gently, making Roger shudder a little before taking it between his lips.
The eager teen sucked at the nipple for a moment before releasing it. He kissed slightly below it, then shifted onto all fours, peppering Roger's torso with kisses. He stopped as suddenly as he had started, looking at Roger with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"What am I doing?" he asked, flopping down onto his back. "YOU serve ME. So you should be doing this to me!"
"Hey, no complaints here," Roger said with a smile. He copied what the boy had juts been doing to him moments earlier, licking at a nipple before kissing his smooth torso all over. His hand reached down, but instead of grabbing the boy's erection, his fingers slid down further, playing with his hole.
"Ah yeah," Benny moaned happily, closing his eyes.
Roger's kissing carried on down Benny's body until his lips finally made contact with the tip of his cock. He pulled the covers over him, disappearing as he took the entire erection into his mouth, one hand still teasing the boy's hole.
"Oh God, yes," Benny moaned delightedly.
The door suddenly swung open. "Breakfast time," Zane grunted, walking in with the tray. His obvious and ongoing disdain for Benny had prevented him from knocking. "Ugh," he groaned as he saw the body under the covers pleasuring his Master.
"Zane!" Benny called out in shock. He had forgotten that Alex had decided to resume the morning wake-up calls to try and get Benny back into some semblance of normality.
"Where?" Roger asked, throwing back the covers and looking round.
"Roger?" Zane asked, the annoyed sneer on his face dropping into a look of absolute shock.
"Zane, I..." Roger started, but he didn't have the chance to finish. The breakfast tray flew across the room.
Roger raised his arm to shield himself, but cereal, milk and juice flew in every direction, crockery and glass shattering as it smashed onto the bed and floor.
"What the fuck..." Benny called out.
Zane had run out of the room as soon as he had thrown the tray, not wanting to hang around and see any more of the offensive sight.
"ZANE!" Roger called out. He wanted to get up and run after him, but he had to move carefully because of the pieces of broken plate and glass all around him. "Be careful," he said as Benny started trying to get out of bed.
By the time they had gotten clear, thankfully uninjured, and thrown on some clothes it had been a few minutes. In that time, Alex and Malik had come to investigate the smashing and yelling, while a few of the Boys had gathered down in the atrium, looking up at the balcony.
As Roger emerged from the room, there was a chorus of surprised noises and a barrage of questions, but all Benny and Roger were concerned about was Zane.
"What happened?" Alex asked with concern.
"Where's Zane?" Roger asked loudly.
"He's gone!" Quentin called from the atrium below.
Roger leaned over and looked down at the Boy. "Gone where?" he demanded.
Quentin shrugged. "No idea. He just came running downstairs, grabbed some clothes and ran out. What's going on?"
"Fuck!" Roger muttered. He looked back to Benny and said, "I've gotta go find him."
"I'll come with you," Benny suggested.
"No, you stay here and... explain," Roger insisted, gesturing to the many inquisitive faces peering up at them.
"Okay," Benny conceded. He watched for a moment as Roger ran down the stairs and out the front door, leaving the atrium in eerie silence as everyone looked at him expectantly. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Well... Roger's back!"
Roger had just been wandering around aimlessly. He didn't have any idea where to start looking for Zane. The entirety of their time together had been spent in the house, he didn't know where his lover... former lover maybe... actually liked to go outside of the house.
He tried his phone again. Every time he had tried to call so far, the call had been rejected immediately, but he figured Zane might answer eventually. He dialled, it rang, Zane answered.
"Zane, I..." he started excitedly.
"FUCK OFF!" Zane yelled down the phone at him, then hung up.
He dialled again, but this time it was rejected immediately. He decided to try another text message.
[Zane, please talk to me], he pleaded.
No reply came.
[Where are you?] Roger sent as he continued wandering the streets.
It was over an hour before Roger finally caught up with him. He was walking through the park when he spotted Zane sitting on one of the benches. Unfortunately, Zane saw him at the same time. He immediately got up and started walking the opposite way.
"Zane, stop!" Roger called out, speeding up into a slow run.
Zane peered back, saw Roger running and did the same. Unfortunately, he overestimated his ability to run and soon found himself grinding to a halt, struggling to breathe. Panic started to set in as his breathlessness turned into a full-blown asthma attack.
Roger caught up to him just in time to see the panicked expression spreading across Zane's face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an inhaler, handing it to the breathless teen.
Zane stared at it for a moment, before raising it to his mouth and using it. His breathing slowly started returning to normal. Once again, Zane looked at the small device in his hand then back to Roger.
"I always carry one with me... just in case," he explained with a sweet smile.
A tear formed in Zane's eye as he lunged forward and threw his arms around the bigger man. "Are you back? Like... really back?" he asked, still slightly breathy.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm back," Roger said happily, kissing the top of Zane's head.