Begin Anew
Copyright 2000 By Frnceso O'Rtg. All rights reserved. With the exceptions of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission in writing from the Author.
This story is complete fiction. This story in no way implies the ACTUAL sexual orientation or beliefs of Actual living people. In other words FICTION!!
Any comments are welcome. Good or bad. Feel free to e-mail me at frnceso@hotmail.com
Special Note!!
I'mmmmm baaaaaaack! Did you guys miss me? It has been like forever since I've touched this story. I needed a break. My lover is very sick and needs allot of my attention. He is doing much better and I am thankful for the time that we do have together. I would much rather spend every waking moment with him but he insisted that I write the story. He reminded that I had an obligation to my fans to finish the story. Begin Anew will be the last section of the Kevin and Jason series. It seems like just yesterday when those two lovebirds collided with each other in the airport. When Twist and Turns was born I had no idea of the journey it would take me. After Twist and Turns came From Out of the Ashes, than As the Last Stone Falls. Than the Second Book started with Rude Awakening and will finish with Begin Anew.
I thank my readers for sticking by me. And most importantly I would like to thank David for posting my story on the Archives. I cannot even begin to thank all of my e-mail pals for being there for me.
Andy: You crazy little man. You have won a very close place in James and my heart. When James and I come to you with our problems you are there for us. When we come to you with our happy times you join us in the laughter. When James got sick you stood by us as we patched things up to continue our lives together. You are still with us and for that We say thank you!
Yuli:
Question Girlfriend? When is Busta going to "Get some?"
You have been a true friend too. James says HI! Hope you find happiness you deserve.
Tony:
Wasssss up!! I've haven't' heard from you in like forever.
Now on with the Story.
Chapter 6
The sun rises over South Fork. The frost on the roof of the house gives off a sparkling glare. The oak and maple trees that surround the house are alive with vivid fall colors. A gentle but chilly breeze blows through the grounds. A lone figure is running up the driveway. He pauses at the top of the drive and takes hold of a clear bottle full of water and raises it too his lips. He savored the cool liquid as it cascaded down his throat. A breeze blew lightly over him. The air was fresh clear just the way he liked it. It was mornings like these when he felt alive. He looked around to grounds and smiled at the Halloween decorations his son had put up. Johnny it seems was becoming a lot like Jason. Jason always got so excited when the holidays started approaching. From the first of October to News Years Jason was so hyper. Tears came to his eyes when he remembered the fact that he had missed over three years of Holidays with his lover. The sound of a door opening caught his attention. He looked up and smiled as his adopted son came trotting down the steps.
"Good morning Johnny," he said as he walked towards him. Johnny glared at him and kept walking down the walk to play with Scrappy. Kevin debated chasing after his son but thought better of it. Johnny would have to work through this in his own way. Kevin just hoped that it would be sooner than later. Turning back he headed for the front porch in time to see the door open again and Justin came walking out. It had been over a week since Justin was released from the Hospital. The transplant was a success and Justin would live. "Morning Justin, how are you feeling this morning?" Kevin asked as he sat down in a chair next to Justin. Justin glared at him for a few seconds. "When are you going to let this go?"
"How the hell can you expect me to let three years of hell go?" Justin asked bluntly. "I'm not talking about what I had to go through. I'm talking about what Jason had to go through. I'm talking about what hell your family had to go through. I'm talking about what the Band had to go through. I'm talking about what Ben had to go--," Justin blurted out only to be interrupted.
"Don't start with Ben, Justin!" Kevin warned.
"Why the hell not?" Justin asked. "Whether you know it or not he still loved you! God I hated that!"
"Hated the fact that he still love me ?" Kevin asked shocked.
"Yes Kevin, Ben still loved you. He used to get up late at night when he thought I was asleep and cry in the living room over your worthless ass. Do you have any idea how many lives you've fucked up! And the worst part of it is that everyone keeps forgiving you!" wiping away a tear in an angry gesture. "God I hate you right now!"
"What do you want me to do about it?" Kevin asked throwing his hands up in the air. "I can't change the past!"
"Yea you're right Kevin you can't change the past. But there is something you can do." Justin said glaring at him again.
"And what pray tell is that?" getting up and walking to the edge of the porch looking out into the yard. True to form Johnny was out there struggling with some fishing line to string up ghosts in the front yard.
"You have been given a second chance with your family. One that you shouldn't have in my opinion. Make it work with Jason and Johnny. You can start with Jason I will go help my Nephew," Justin said as he got up and made his way down the steps and out onto the front lawn. Kevin turns around to go into the house.
The alarm clock blares out its alarm through the room. We here a growl and a hand slam down on top of it silencing it. Jason sits up and pokes his head over to the window and looks out side. He smiles as he sees Kevin standing there in all of his glory. The sun has caught him just perfectly as he tilts his head back and swallows deeply from the bottle. He heard the front door slam and watched as his son trotted down the stairs. He watched as Kevin spoke to him and his heart sank a little as Johnny turned from him and walked away. His eyes trained on Kevin as Kevin started to walk after his son but stopped and slowly sat down on the front porch. Sighing he stands up and heads off into the bathroom and strips down and steps into the shower. He sighs loudly as the piercing hot streams of water cascades down his tired body. After getting done in the shower he heads out of the bathroom and into the master bedroom. he hears a gasp and turns around. There stood Kevin in the process of disrobing from his work out clothes. He too was naked and he was standing there with his mouth open. >From the sight of his cock he was obviously turned on. Jason smiled and blushed. "Breath Kevin, the last I heard you still needed oxygen to survive." Kevin shook his head as if to clear it.
"Umm, good morning Jas," he stuttered out swallowing hard. Jason tried not to laugh but failed.
"Good morning Kevin," he said returning the smile. "Did you sleep well last night?"
"Not as good as I could have," Kevin answered looking down. "I wanted to hold you so bad Baby." He looked up at Jason with tears in his eyes. Jason looked away from the intense gaze that Kevin was giving him. Kevin sighed and knelt at Jason's feet. Taking Jason's hand and holding it to his chest. Jason could feel the beating of his heart through his skin. The touch of Kevin's bare skin brought so many memories pouring back to him. He longed to lay his head on Kevin's bare shoulder. He could smell Kevin's scent from his early morning work out. The scent was over powering. Kevin knew it cause he had that same knowing smile that he always wore whenever Jason was turned on. He almost caved but stopped himself. He gently but forcefully pulled his hand from Kevin's hold.
"Please Kevin," he whispered out.
"Please what Jas?" Kevin asked with a hard edge to his voice.
"Please don't rush this. We have a lot of stuff to work through before we are even close to what we had before," Jason reminded him. Kevin nodded silently and walked off into the bathroom to clean up. Jason sat there on the bed thinking about how wonderful it would be to make love to Kevin again. This morning he almost gave in. Even after three years of being separated from Kevin Jason was shocked that Kevin's presence could still have such an affect on him. He looked down at his cock and frowned because it was fully erect with no way to relief it.
"I could take care of that for you," said a voice from the door. Jason looked up to see Justin standing there grinning. Jason quickly covered himself up.
"Justin!" Jason said in a scolding voice. "Kevin is in the bathroom right now."
"Have you seen JC?" Justin asked as he sat next to Jason. He leaned forward and kissed Jason on the cheek. "He wanted to talk to me about something."
"I saw him last night. He and I had a talk," Jason said as he got up and pulled on a pair of boxer briefs. Justin looked disappointed and pouted for a little while. "Juuustiin," Jason said scolding him and grinning at the same time.
"What did you two talk about?" Justin asked.
"We talked about you." Jason grinned when he saw Justin scrunch up his nose.
Justin always looked so cute when he did that. "You really need to talk to him about it." Jason allowed his mind to travel back 12 hours ago.
(Flash Back)
Kevin put the car in park and opened the door to climb out of the BMW Roadster. It was Jason's favorite Color Midnight Blue. He closed the door and headed out of the garage. He stops and looks back at the car and sees his lover still in the car staring straight ahead. Kevin sighs heavily and walks to the other side of the car and opens the door.
"Coming in Jas?" he asked softly.
"I'll be in, in a few minutes Kev," Jason answered in an equally soft voice.
"Please Jas?" Kevin pleaded. Jason jerked his head and glared at Kevin. Silence reigned supreme in the car and garage. Kevin took a few steps back and turned and left the garage. Jason watched his husband leave the garage with his head hung low. Sighing Jason opened the door and followed Kevin out into the yard. It was growing cold out. Jason smiled at the hanging plastic skeletons hanging from the trees. It seems that Johnny had been busy again. He watched as Kevin headed for the back yard.
"Jason?" asked a voice. Turning he smiles and walks towards the voice.
"Yea JC?" he wrapped his arm around JC waist and pulled him close.
"I'm worried about Justin," JC admitted to Jason. "I mean it's been a week since he's gotten out of the hospital and he is still not talking to me or anyone for that matter."
"Justin has been through a lot of shit. We need to be patient with him," Jason said as he rubbed JC's back. He could feel the tense muscles ease up a little.
"What if he doesn't come back to us?" JC asked he wiped a tear from his angelic face. The moon was out and as it shined down on JC you could really see his features. Jason had to admit that JC was an incredibly good-looking man. "I just wish things could be better between us. I miss the old Justin so much."
"Have you talked to him about it?" Jason asked looking into JC eyes.
"No, everytime I go to talk to him about it he throws me out of the room. He keeps telling me that since Nsync is done that we shouldn't be friends any more." JC was crying now, his shoulders shaking. Jason wrapped his arms around JC and pulled him close. "Why can't he see that I love him?" Jason let go of JC like he was on fire.
"Wait a minute! What the hell did you just say?" asked Jason. JC cringed at the sudden outburst from Jason. He took a deep breath before continuing.
"I said I love him!" Jason stared at him for a few seconds. "What Jason? I can't fall in love with him?" JC was starting to get angry. Jason put a comforting hand on his shoulder but JC wrenched himself away. "Dammit Jason! You have Kevin! Justin is lonely and needs someone to care for him.
Obviously you don't want to be a part of his life. I do!"
"Have you told him about your feelings?" Jason asked.
"Hell no I haven't told him yet. He wouldn't like it," JC said as he looked up at the full moon. "He still loves you like crazy. Even though you both know that nothing will ever happen between you. That nut is still going to hope beyond hope that you will dump Kevin and go to him."
"That will never happen JC. I love Kevin and that will never change," Jason said as he laid his hand on JC's shoulders.
"Than tell him!" JC shouted at Jason. "For God's sake Jason free Justin so he can love me the way I know he can! He deserves to be happy for once in his life." The two friends were silent for a few moments looking at the moon and stars.
"You know JC, there was a time when Justin was happy," Jason said in a quiet voice.
"I know, God why did Ben have to die?" JC asked to heavens. "When Ben caught cancer I thought Justin would die."
"Where were you when he was going through all that?" Jason asked looking at JC. He frowned when he saw the guilt rage through JC. "Was it the Cocaine?" JC nodded silently. "You don't have to be ashamed about it JC."
"I should've been stronger. I should have been there for him. Jesus Christ Jason I am his brother and I should have been there for him. I wasn't, I was too wrapped up in my fucking habit."
"You are here now JC. And isn't that what matters the most?" Jason said trying to console JC. "And now it seems that you've developed a crush on him." JC looked over to see the amusing twinkle in Jason eyes. He couldn't help but smile. "Talk to him JC, you just might find out that he feels the same way."
"Thanks Jason, I will, I promise," JC said as he headed towards the house. Jason remained standing out in the yard unaware of the fact that his husband was starring at him front he upstairs window.
Back to present.
"Yo Jason!" Justin shouted waving is hand in front of him.
"What?" exclaimed Jason swatting his hand away.
"Where were you? A million miles away?" Justin giggled. Jason lightly punched him in the arm. "Oww, that hurt!"
"Actually only about twelve hours ago," Jason said as he shook his head and stood up and went to finish getting dressed. Today it was chilly out and from the looks of things Johnny would want to decorate the entire yard this year and he was recruiting the entire house. He laughed as he caught sight of JC standing on a ladder outside his window trying to hang a larger than life bat. Yup it was going to be along day. Jason reached into the closet and picked out his Nike sweat suit. He chose a identical dark blue one for Kevin. He was going to try to get Johnny and Kevin together for a long over due talk. He walked by the bedside stand and spotted an padded envelope. It was a package he had received in the mail a few days ago. He picked it up and saw it was from Paris. His hands trembled as he opened it. A CD fell out of it. He reached in and pulled out a letter. He opened it and read it. It was from Kevin, he had written it shortly before he returned to the states.
My Dearest Jason,
I cannot begin to express my sorrow to you. Maybe this song will best describe my sorrow for the pain I have caused you. Please listen to it.
Love Kev
PS Remember that I love you always.
Jason smiled as he picked up the CD and walked into his study and put the CD in his stereo. With shaking finger he tried to push the button. He stopped
centimeters from the play button. He felt the touch of a hand on his as it guided his hand the rest of the way. He looked up and saw Kevin's face with tears streaming down his face. When the music started he gathered Jason up in his arms and held him close.
Even a lover makes a mistake sometimes Like any other Fall out and lose his mind And I'm sorry for the things I did For your teardrops over words I said Can you forgive me and open your heart once again, oh yeah
It's true I mean it >From the bottom of my heart Yeah, it's true Without you I would fall apart
Whatever happened I know that I was wrong, oh yes Can you believe me Maybe your faith is gone But I love you and I always will So I wonder if you want me still can you forgive me and open your heart once again, oh yea
It's true I mean it >From the bottom of my heart yeah, it's true Without you I would fall apart
I do anything to make it up to you so please understand and open your heart once again
It's true I mean it >From the bottom of my heart yeah, it's true Without you I would fall apart
The music stopped but the two lovers remained locked in an a never-ending embrace. Jason's heart was moved to the point that he didn't trust himself to talk. Kevin was just holding Jason savoring the moment of being close to him. They remained locked together neither of them hearing the study door open. Finally Kevin felt a tap on the shoulder. He reluctantly broke away and looked back.
"Hey you two," said a smiling Brian. "You two going to come down and eat breakfast or what? Some of us have been working you know. Johnny has been driving us all like some kind of slave driver or something." Brian left the room leaving Kevin and Jason alone. Jason leaned forward and graced Kevin's lips with a gentle kiss.
"I love you Kevin Scott Richardson," Kevin looked down blushing. "That song said it all. Thank you so much Babe."
"I met every word of it Jas, I just couldn't say it. I had to sing it for you," Jason reached up and stroked his face. Kevin leaned into the touch. Jason couldn't resist tickling his neck. Kevin let out a giggle and tried to get away. Before to long the two lovers were on the couch tickling each other. Jason ended up on top of Kevin grinning down at him.
"Say Uncle," he grinned as he attacked Kevin's sides.
"Uncle!" gasped out Kevin in between laughs. They heard a cough and they looked at the doorway. There stood JC and Johnny. Johnny was glaring at Kevin.
"Come on already," JC whined. "I'm hungry!" Jason climbed off of Kevin and held out his hand and helped Kevin to his feet.
"Ok JC hold your horses, we're on our way," Kevin said trying to straighten out his hair only to have Jason mess it up again.
"We'll be down in a second," Jason said shooing them out. As JC and Johnny headed down stairs he could hear JC mumbling about dying of Starvation and Johnny laughing at JC. He stood at the door watching them walk down stairs when he felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist. He leaned back into the warm embrace of Kevin. Kevin immediately attacked Jason's neck. Jason let out a groan and tried to get away. But Kevin wouldn't let him go. After a few minutes of sucking on Jason's neck he pulled back and looked proud of himself.
"There all done!" he announced proud of himself.
"You didn't!" Jason exclaimed. He rushed to the mirror in the hallway and looked in it. Sure enough there it was a Hickey. "Kevin!" Kevin just giggled as he trotted down the stairs and into the dinning room.
"Kevin Scott Richardson, you wait until I get you back!" bellowed Jason in-between laughs. He walked into the dinning room and smacked Kevin on the back of the head and headed towards the breakfast bar and started to fill his plate. Justin walked up to him and looked at his neck.
"Hmmm, nice job Kevin," he giggled. Soon everyone except Johnny was admiring Kevin's handy work on poor Jason. Jason just blushed and sat next to Kevin placing the plate between the two of them. He picked up a piece of bacon and fed it to Kevin. Kevin grabbed Jason's hand and kissed the fingers before letting it go.
"EWWWWW Yucky!" exclaimed Johnny. "You two are too mushy!"
"Now Johnny," Justin scolded lightly. "No picking on the love birds. By the way it is about time you two made up."
"Yea I'll say," giggled Brian. "I was getting tired of Kevin whining and complaining all night."
I'm real happy for the both of you. Now maybe things can get back to normal around here," JC added.
"Well we still have some things to work out but we are back together," Kevin said as he leaned forward and kissed Jason on the cheek. "So tell me about the Halloween decorations?" He was looking right at Johnny hoping beyond hope that Johnny would open up to him. Johnny just kept eating and refused to talk. Jason decided to step in.
"Johnny, your father is talking to you. You could at least be polite and --," Jason started.
"He's not my father!" Johnny yelled at Jason. "I don't want him here!"
"Jonathan!" Jason said loudly. "That is enough!"
"I hate him!" Johnny shouted again.
"All right!" Jason shouted back at Johnny. "You march yourself upstairs to your room and you think about what you said. And when you are ready you come down and apologies to him!" Johnny glared at his parents and stomped out of the room.
Jason looked over at Kevin and was shocked to see tears in his eyes. "He didn't mean it Kevin."
"Yea he did! And you know something? He is right? I'm not his father anymore. Excuse me," Kevin got up from the table and walked out of the dinning room. Jason sat there and listened to the front door close. He laid down his napkin and looked around.
"Justin?" he asked softly. "Can you go see Johnny? I need to talk to Kevin." He got up from the table and walked outside and followed Kevin to the one place that he knew he would be, the Gazebo. He walked down the worn path and found him sitting in the Swing. "Want some company?" Kevin moved over to make room for Jason. "He still loves you Kevin." Kevin laid his head on Jason's shoulder. "You are his father and we will get through this."
"I really made a mess of things, haven't I?" Kevin said as he reached out and took a hold of Jason's hand. "If I were him I wouldn't speak to me either."
"Give him time Babe," Jason consoled him.
Justin walked into Johnny's room in time to see Johnny throwing things into a bag. Justin raised his eyebrows and walked in and started to help Johnny pack. "What are you doing?" Johnny asked confused.
"What's it look like? I'm helping you pack." Justin picked up a picture of Kevin Jason and Johnny. It was on the day of the Bone Marrow Drive. (See Rude Awakening) "Do you want me to pack this?" Johnny turned and saw the picture he was holding. He shrugged his shoulders and sniffled. Justin sat the picture down and sat down on the bed. "Johnny, I think it is time you and I had a heart to heart."
OK that is it for this one. I am sorry it has taken me so long to get this out. The next one will be sooner I promise.
E-mail me please at frnceso@hotmail.com