It started with a kiss. It was supposed to be simply a playful joking kiss to amuse and impress my date on the night we met. We'd been talking and enjoying the latter part of happy hour. She more or less dared me to kiss you which I did without a second thought It wasn't even that intense a kiss really except in terms of what it started. You had not been subtle in your flirtations, and having been in similar situations before, I had no misgivings about your attentions. I said as much when you reassured me that it was all in fun, and I told you that I was comfortable with who I was, and had no problem with the evening. It was when the girls went to the bathroom that you looked at me somewhat more intensely. I shifted a bit when you asked me if I was still comfortable. "Of course, why?" I asked. Your reply startled me when you said "Because I don't want you to be." By that time, the girls came back and the evening continued, but you kept looking at me with that knowing smile of yours. I shrugged it off for the remainder of the evening, but when we made our goodbyes, you hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear "You don't want to be comfortable. Trust me." The intonation on the words "trust me" was not a dismissive cadence, but rather a deliberate choice of words implying not only that I can, but that I have a positive need to trust you.
That night, I spend another evening with Libby thrashing about in bed, her trying diligently to get me to climax, but to no avail. I don't really mind as this has always been the case, and while she grows increasingly frustrated, I reassure her over and over again that it is simply a matter of time. I find myself using the same words you last said to me, "Trust me" and trying for the same sincerity that you had, but it falls short. I know instinctively that this little relationship is probably doomed, but am not much bothered by the fact, as I came into it without very high expectations. My expectations are made somewhat lower by the almost emasculating attempt she makes at a hand job.
The next week I throw myself into work, often forgetting the time and discovering that I've been putting in 10-12 hour days. I shake my head over this. On a night I have to myself, I decide to revisit Biddy's, where we met. I find you there at the bar sitting alone. I come up and say hello and an affectionate smile comes over your face as you say hello. We sit and have a drink together that leads into dinner as we exchange stories of our week. The situation is casual and familiar and while your words from the other night are still in my mind, I assume that I either misread them or that you don't remember them. We finish dinner and walk out into the cool November air. We walk around the area, passing various storefronts and restaurants. We stop and get a cup of tea, eventually. Perhaps because the tea room is deserted, I feel somewhat safer in finally bringing up the subject again. "What did you mean when you asked me to trust you the other night?" I ask. You don't answer immediately but take a sip of your tea and look meaningfully at me. "I meant just that. Trust me". "But what should I trust you about" I ask. "You'll know soon" you reply. I become a little uneasy, not quite knowing what you mean, and not understanding, but we don't speak of this again while in the tea room.
When we finally left the tea room, it felt to me that the temperature had dropped considerably. We walked in the direction of your home and my car, the latter being close to the former. I was a little surprised to find myself shivering as I never really feel the cold, but I soon felt better once we moved. I was still shivering a bit, but I also started to feel warmth move through me as my heartbeat quickened from the pace of our walk. You pointed out a few places along the way for me to try as we moved through the crowded sidewalk and onto the side street. My cheeks were a bit tingly, yet they didn't feel particularly cold. In fact, I came to realize that I wasn't actually all that cold, yet still I was shivering, and my heart was beating faster than normal. Even my breathing was a bit off, which is highly unusual for me. I felt my heart as inconspicuously as I could to see if it was beating too fact, and while I felt it beating hard, it wasn't beating unusually fast...at least no more than it does during an average jog. I felt oddly nervous, though I couldn't for the life of me imagine why i should. I tried to ignore this as we moved closer to our respective destinations. Eventually we arrived at your building and I turn to face you to say my farewells. Again your eyes look meaningfully into mine with a a sort of knowing intensity. I feel like I should say good night, but I find I'm not saying anything. You smile, kindly and perhaps a bit indulgently and simply say "Come in". I flush a bit and try to protest that I should be getting home, but you simply open the door and look towards me. "Come in". I agree.
I walk down the corridor to your apartment, now feeling my heart beat harder and faster. I'm still unsure of what exactly I'm doing. You open the door and invite me in, and I step in as casually as I can, not really knowing what is going to come next. I finally speak up and ask "Why did you ask me to come in?" Your response is framed in a smile. "You wanted me to." I laugh a bit nervously and say "How exactly did you know that?" Again that Cheshire cat like smile. "You talk of these things as if there is some exact science to it. There isn't. I just know you wanted to come in. I suspect because you no longer wanted to be in public." As I answer, I feel myself becoming more agitated, heat crawling along my hairline. "I think you may have misread tonight." You answer gently but with a hint of authority "I am quite certain that if that were the case, you wouldn't feel the way you do right now." I respond without thinking "I'm sorry but I don't think I feel what you think I do." Before you say something else, you put your hand on my chest, directly above my heart. The pounding betrays, as does the shallowness of my breath. I feel heat at the nape of my neck creeping up the base of my skull as my body refuses to listen to me. Your hand doesn't move, but I feel as if you are somehow reaching into me. Your eyes, olive green, meet mine neither assuming nor denying the connection made. I feel my eyes burning as if with tears but I can't imagine why this would be.
It seems as if a large amount of time has passed but it is not the case. Nonetheless, I feel as if a lingering silence is broken when I finally ask you "What are you doing to me?" I want you to tell me that you slipped something into my drink to make me feel this way. I want to hear you tell me that you have some unusual ability to make people feel like this. I want to think that I just am feeling stressed and that this is some sort of reaction to stress. I hear you say "I'm not the one doing it. You are." I nearly gasp in response "Why would I do this to myself?" You respond "You tell me." By now the heat has travelled around my body like a wildfire. I feel it coming down my torso like a cascade of warm water. I think to myself that I can stop it, but my traitorous body will not listen. I realize that I'm no longer trying to deny the erection I've had for...how long has it been there really? 10 minutes? An hour? I feel the aching swell as it too bathes in the heat that now encapsulates my body. "Tell me why, please" you say imploringly. A bead of sweat slides down my belly. My breath is shallow and cool against my now dry lips as the hiss of words slide past my lips: "Because I trust you." With that admission, I feel as if my heart will explode in your hand, its beat faster and more powerful than ever. "Say it again" you say. "I trust you" I say, somewhat more emphatically this time. You come closer, hand still on my heart, your scent hitting my nose. Every sense is alive. "Say it!" you say one final time. "I want you" I finally hear myself say aloud. I feel the heat of your breath against my ear as you whisper "I've known all along."
You walk me into your living room, my legs almost barely able to hold me up as I walk. My heart has not slowed nor has my breath returned. I worry I might pass out, but somehow I remain standing. I hear you say "Are you nervous?" eliciting a small strangled laugh from my throat as I reply "Yes I am." I don't see your face when I hear you say the word "Good." I stand shaking all over when I feel the touch of your warm fingers gently stroking my belly. I shudder when I feel the caress of a soft stream of warm air along my belly, blown by you. Goosebumps rise all over my body. I feel more exposed than I ever have as I feel your breath travel up my abdomen, only dimly aware that my shirt is slowly rising off of my body. I may as well already be naked. As far as I can tell, your lips have not yet touched me, yet I feel as if I can feel nothing else but your touch. As if without the feel of you on my flesh, I will float in this state forever, aching for release and never finding it.
You undress me in a deliberate and unhurried manner. It feels like hours have passed but my sense of time is completely gone. I barely even see the room around me anymore. I am acutely aware of the air on my skin as each garment is removed from it. Somehow, removing my shoes and socks seems more revealing than removing my shirt, despite the hardness of my nipples and the vibrating thump behind my left pectoral muscle. Each pulse beat is felt in every part of my body, surging ever stronger with each passing contraction of my heart. When the last garment comes off, I once more feel as if I've been unmasked, my erection not only swollen with wanton color, but glistening with eager anticipation. How odd that even after all of this, I should be embarrassed by something so obvious from the very start.
"Open your eyes" I hear you say. I didn't even realize they were closed. I open them and see you standing in front of me, also naked and also aroused. I can only assume that you disrobed very fast or did so as you disrobed me. I am captivated by your cock. I look at the flesh, the contours of the shaft juxtaposed against the shining smoothness of the head. It occurs to me that this is the first erection other than my own that I have ever seen. It further occurs to me what seeing it means, and that it is something that I not only want to happen but need to happen.
"I don't know what to do" I say almost shyly. You smile and say "Go into the bedroom". I think I audibly gulp. I walk into the bedroom where there is a queen sized bed with purple and grey bedclothes turned down. I move toward the bed but I hear you tell me to wait. I stand in front of it and suddenly shudder as I feel your gentle breath against the back of my neck. I break out in goose flesh again, but this time your fingers slide up my spine from the small of my back to the back of my neck. Every time I make any hint of turning, you tell me to stay still. The lightness of your touch is maddening. My cock feels like it could almost break in half from its hardness. I hear your voice mutter "You can't believe it can you? The hardness. It feels like it should hurt, doesn't it?" I can't even say anything. All I am doing is panting like a dog. You continue to taunt me with words. "Feel how your balls are pulling up? How full they must be, and how sweet what they contain must be by now." Somehow, the idea of you describing my cum as sweet makes my mouth water, as does your hand touching my hip as you continue to whisper into my ear. I now feel for the first time your cock pressing against the soft flesh of my ass. "Do you feel that?" I merely nod. "You are the one who made it like this." I am shaking all over. "You wanted this, didn't you?" I can't find breath to answer, but you repeat the question. I finally say in a husky whisper "Yes." You aren't satisfied. "Yes what?" you enquire. "Yes, I wanted you from the moment I saw you in Biddy's." Your lips clasp my ear as I now feel the full warmth of your body against me, hands sliding up my chest. "That's why I was there waiting for you!"
With your last sentence, I turn and kiss you passionately, the light softness of the other night seeming as absurd as Eskimo kisses compared to the animalistic way I now devour your lips. I feel the stiffness of your erection against mine and it only drives me on, clawing and grappling at your body as I suck your lips and tongue into mine. I am only dimly aware of the sweat forming on the back of my neck. We fall into bed and madly roll over each other, almost battling one another for dominance. Any hint of shyness or uncertainty I had before is long gone. I'm almost barely even aware that we are in fact making love at this point. I am not aware of much of anything rational. The touch of your body against my cock is maddening. I feel yours touch my thigh and the hint of wetness it betrays.
At some point, we slow down, and you turn me to be on my back. I feel you on top of me kissing me slowly now, and I respond in kind. The ache in my loins is almost unbearable but I can't pull my lips away from yours. We just kiss for what seems like hours until I start to feel your lips travel around my face to my jawline, and thence to my shoulder. It's as if you are bathing me in kisses. As you move down my chest and ribs, I slowly begin to realize what you are planning, and my heart rate shoots up again. Again, time disappears as I wait for your lips to make their slow journey downward. I feel a gentle pull on my pubic hair from your lips. I whimper a little and then groan when I feel hot breath bathing my short hairs from above.
When I finally feel the wet heat of your mouth, it is not where I expect. I almost jolt when I feel my balls slide into your lips. I think for sure I might injure myself, but your lips are careful and deft. I feel your tongue move between the swollen aching sacs of my scrotum. I swear I could feel them swell beneath your tongue.
Finally, your mouth moves to where my body is begging for it to go. You don't take the head into your mouth at first, as I'd expect, but rather kiss it. You kiss it several times, each time parting your lips so that I feel their softest and wettest part. Your tongue touches me at the base of the head right in the center of it's cleft. I groan as I feel your tongue move up the cleft to slide across the oozing tip. You do several times at varying speeds. A couple of times I feel as if I might explode, but you sense it and back off.
Suddenly and without warning I feel the wet warmth of your mouth slide over my cock taking it completely into you. I feel your lips tighten around the shaft and slide wetly up and down, each motion deliberate and without hesitation. Your movements are slow, and I savor every moment. My eyes are wide open as your movements grow more regular and rapid. I feel a deep pulling in my belly. My cheeks and the tips of my ears are burning. "There is no coming back from this" I think to myself as my whole being turns incandescent. Your head moves faster and faster as I hear a deep rumbling roar fly from my throat as I fill your mouth with a torrent I could scarcely believed myself capable of. My heart feels like it's going to explode as I pour myself into you pulse after pulse. I can't stop my voice from its guttural groans, and I become aware that I have tears leaping from my eyes. As I feel my abdomen twitch forth the last of my contractions, I realize that I am in fact sobbing, not from shame or even from joy but simply from the sheer magnitude of what has happened. I feel your arms scoop me up as you kiss me. I taste myself on your lips, and am overcome with the experience. It takes me a while to come down, but you continue to hold and rock me comfortingly. I hear you repeating words but can't discern them at first. After my sobs begin to wane, your words find their way to me. "Nothing will ever be the same now" you tell me. I hold you almost like a child needing reassurance. You kiss me over and over and wrap me in arms warm and strong. "This is the beginning my sweet man" you tell me. I tremble at the truth of those words. They haunt me into my dreams and into the next morning.