Becoming Becky (part 21)
It seems like a dream-come-true when a young gender dysphoric boy has understanding parents who supports his transition. When she gets engaged, she faces the challenge of how to tell her fiancé! I hope you enjoy this work of fiction.
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Bob finished his work and cleaned up before Joanne's arrival. Joanne had scheduled her last appointment to end by 4pm so she could get an early start. Bob's mother was holding dinner a little later so there Joanne wouldn't have to rush upon arrival.
Joanne arrived about 5:30 and Bob warmly greeted her. He carried her bags inside where the rest of the family greeted her. Already she was nearly like part of the family – Bob hoped they could make some progress with Joanne's family.
Bob carried Joanne's bags up to her room. They embraced and kissed. "Too bad we can't sleep together," said Joanne.
"This is where you start the night," said Bob, "but you know how to find my room."
Joanned grinned and said, "I think I can manage that."
"We have some time before dinner," said Bob, "let's go sit on the porch."
"Why on the porch?" asked Joanne.
"Well," replied Bob, "that seems to be the place we have some our more important discussions."
"Am I in trouble?" asked Joanne.
"Trouble?" replied Bob, "are you late for your period?"
"You've got some weird humor, farm boy!" said Joanne, following him to the porch.
Seated on the porch swing, Bob began, "I'm sorry to hear that you are not close to your family – is there anything we could do to improve the situation?"
"I have tried for years without success," explained Joanne, "I'm ok with my mother, but it's like my father has disowned me."
"Family can be wonderful," said Bob, "but sometimes not so much. Perhaps if we visit with the intention of asking their blessing in our marriage, it might open things up."
"I'm not so sure," Joanne replied, "my father already thinks I'm gay and will probably will think the same of you – he would never bless a same-sex marriage."
"What about working through your mother?" Bob asked, "If she is more understanding, perhaps we can build on that."
"That's worth a try," said Joanne, "we can try that tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" asked Bob.
"Yes," replied Joanne, "I talked with Mom on the drive over today – we'll meet her for lunch tomorrow and hopefully make some progress."
"That's great!" said Bob, "but now you need to tell me all that you can about her and your relationship to her.
Joanne didn't see what that was important, but they spent the time until dinner briefing Bob on her mother.
Joanne's father tried to force her to be a "normal" boy, but without success. Her mother thought there was something else going on, and searched for a doctor that could help. She found a doctor who understood gender dysphoria and helped her and Joanne address the problem. This stressed the marriage, with her father and mother often disagreeing. When her mother took Joanne to have her orchidectomy, it nearly resulted in divorce. While Joanne's mother was still supportive and friendly, living with her father led to an ongoing tension that made Joanne feel unwelcomed by her own family's home.
At dinner Joanne mentioned that she and Bob would be meeting Joanne's mother for lunch. Mary said, "I know that being the mother of a girl like you can be challenging, and I would be glad to talk with her if it would help at all – in fact, she is welcomed to visit at any time."
"Thank you," said Joanne, "I'll keep that in mind."
The next day Bob and Joanne drove to meet her mother for lunch. Joanne's parents lived about half way between Cedar Rapids and Davenport, so they were having lunch in a town nearby. The restaurant was a little "mom and pop" place, which often had better food than the major chains.
As Joanne and Bob approached, her mother stood and smiled broadly. Bob felt immediately at ease with her. Joanne introduced them and her mother.
They were seated and Bob said, "I'm so glad to meet you, Mrs. Bradley ..."
"Please," her mother interrupted, "call me Jessica."
"Ok, Jessica," continued Bob, "Joanne has told me how you have been such a strong ally, despite the difficulty if caused at home."
"It has been difficult," Jessica replied, "but I had to do what I thought was right."
"You may have saved her life," said Bob.
Jessica looked puzzled and Bob continued, "You may have heard that the suicide rate for gender dysphoric people may be as high as 50%."
"Yes, I've heard that," she said, "but that seems very high."
"My father's brother was gender dysphoric," explained Bob, "and he walked out in front of a truck."
"That's terrible!" Jessica replied, "did you ever know him?"
"No, he died long before I was born, but the experience sensitized my father to gender dysphoria. My sister Becky is gender dysphoric and my parents were able to support her and help her grow up reasonably normally."
"There were tears in Jessica's eyes as she said, "Oh Joanne dear, it's a miracle that your life has turned out so well, and I know it was very difficult."
"I hope I am not just stirring up a hornet's nest," Bob continued, "but I wanted to tell you and Mr. Bradley of our desire to marry, and to gain your blessing."
"You know that you can do what you want without our permission," Jessica responded.
"Yes, of course," said Bob, "but family is important, and I hoped that this might help bring us all together."
"You area a pretty confident guy, Bob," said Jessica, "my husband John is pretty set in his ways, but you may be up to the task."
"I do wonder about something," Jessica said, "but it is difficult to ask."
"Please feel free to ask whatever you like," said Bob, "and don't worry about choosing the right words."
"You two are in love," Jessica said, "and sooner or later it will lead to intimacy – but Joanne isn't like most women – how will that work?" Jessica immediately blushed, having realized what a personal question she had asked.
"Jessica," said Bob, "unless you are extremely unusual, most of your marriage is not about intimacy. Intimacy is wonderful indeed, but it is not the main part of your marriage. Of course things will be different with us, and we simply will need to make accommodations, just as you would if one spouse were missing a leg."
"Missing a leg isn't the same as missing a vagina," said Jessica. She immediately recanted her statement and added, "that was really crude – I'm sorry."
"It's ok," said Joanne, "the fact is that we have already been intimate, and it's wonderful!"
Now both Bob and Jessica blushed, and they agreed to move on.
The rest of the conversation was less intense, and they parted with Jessica's promise to see what she could do to soften up John.
On the way back to the farm Joanne said, "I'm so proud of you, Bob – you were really brave with my mother."
"I was scared to death!" Bob declared.
"Of my mother?" Joanne asked, "she is wonderful."
"Yes, she is," replied Bob, "but this was really important and we really needed it to go well."
"I think it did," said Joanne. Bob agreed.
That evening Jessica called Joanne, who put it on the phone's speaker so Bob could hear.
"John and I had a long discussion at dinner tonight," said Jessica.
"I told him how you two seem just like any other couple," she continued, and you know what he said?"
Almost afraid to hear the answer, Joanne said, "no, what did he say?"
"John said to invite you both over for dinner next week!" Jessica said with excitement.
"That's wonderful," replied Joanne.
After the call Joanne thanked Bob for his part in bringing the family together.
"We aren't there yet," said Bob, "and I have the feeling that I'm in for a rough time with your father."
"Probably so," said Joanne, "but you'll do well. Just be yourself and remember that he will probably say things that may upset you. Actually, my father can be a real jerk at times."
"I know all about being a jerk," agreed Bob.
"Yes, I suppose you do," agreed Joanne, kissing Bob once again. –––––––––––––––––––– To be continued ...
Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests. –Bill (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)
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