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Becoming a Philosopher 22
Hi, it's Sven speaking.
We had just returned from a fantastic weekend in Langebaan on the West Coast. It was great to be with Tom and Martin. The sailing was great, despite me falling off the boat and the sex was also great. I was still trying to make sense of it all, and I know that I became more attracted to Martin and I think he had similar feelings. I was conflicted as I sat in my small UCT office making the final changes to my dissertation before sending it off for a language edit. Tom was a good friend and him and Martin lived as partners, and I didn't want to come between them. I had been doing a lot of reading on the philosophy of sex for the course I was a tutor on. The philosophy of sex, I discovered, is an aspect of applied philosophy involved with the study of sex and sexual activity. It includes both ethics of phenomena such as prostitution, rape, sexual harassment, sexual identity, the age of consent and homosexuality and conceptual analysis of more universal questions such as "What is sex?" It also includes things like sexuality, sexual identity, and gender.
I discovered that the moral aspects of the philosophy of sexual activity are determined by judgments on the nature of the sexual impulse. In this light, philosophies fall into two camps.
A negative understanding of sexuality, such as from Kant, who believed that sexuality undermines values, and challenges our moral treatment of other persons. Sex, Kant says, "makes of the loved person an Object of appetite". In this understanding, sex is seen as being only for procreation, and celibacy is sometimes seen as the best or most moral life.
A positive understanding of sexuality – such as from Russell Vannoy or Bertrand Russel sees sexual activity as pleasing the self and the other at the same time.
In one article I read: "mental stimuli and physical stimuli such as touch, taste, smell, and the change in hormones can influence sexual arousal. Sexual arousal has several stages and may not lead to any actual sexual activity beyond mental arousal and the physiological changes that accompany it. Given sufficient sexual stimulation, sexual arousal reaches its climax during an orgasm." I must confess that I thought that all of this was all obvious and that this was not the necessarily the ambit of philosophy.
I had tried the Stoic approach in Sweden, but that was a struggle. This weekend's encounter with Tom and Martin underlined what I was missing and just how much I had longed for intimacy.
I thought of Nicolas who was quite adventurous in the bedroom. One night we were laying in bed and I had my hand on his thigh. He moved closer and he held me tight and kissed me all over my face and neck. Nicolas' body was warm against mine. I never pushed his hand away when he started massaging my dick and it felt good. Nic removed my T-shirt and sucked my nipples, while he massaged my dick. Nic's dick felt good in my hand and was substantial, and I gently felt his testicles. By now we were naked, and our erections pressed against each other. I was very randy and could have come there but wanted the moment to last. I inserted my fingers in his hole, and I sucked his balls, and tasted his dick. He did the same to me.
I reached for the lube and rubbed lube in his hole. I also covered my dick in lube. Nic was on his back, and I moved my dick towards his hole. His legs rested on my shoulders. I pushed in and my dick went in easily. Nic groaned as I moved in and out. Nic asked me to go faster and squeaked when I hit is prostate, I filled his hole, and he came at the same time shooting cum on my stomach. I lay on top of him for a while catching my breath and then kissed him. I loved this closeness. We shared one bed that night, it was a tight squeeze for two men, but I can't explain how fantastic it was to be so intimate with Nic. We sucked each other off a few more times that night and fell asleep in his arms. I woke up first in the morning and moved down to suck Nic while he was still asleep. We showered together that morning before breakfast.
I rushed off to the Kaplan Centre where I was meeting Tom for lunch. He was sitting at a table near the window drinking a Coke. We grabbed some cheese bagels and went back to the table. I told him how much I had enjoyed the weekend and that I appreciated his friendship. I didn't know how to tell him about the feelings I was developing for Martin. But I didn't have to. Tom told me that he had noticed that there was chemistry developing between Martin and me. He told me to relax because their relationship was solid and that he didn't mind at all. He said that Martin had already spoken to him about it. Tom surprised me when he suggested that I spend some time alone with Martin. I was relieved after having this conversation especially because of the inner turmoil I was going through, but I never told him that I was also attracted to him.
Martin finished his practical early and was in the kitchen chopping up vegetables to make a Spanish omelette. I helped him chop up and fry some onions. We spoke and joked, he squeezed my arse for a second and we continued getting the dinner ready. Tom arrived after an evening tutorial, and we sat down and ate.
I spoke about some of the reading I was doing. I told them that research has shown that cohabiting same-sex romantic couples dissolve their relationships at higher rates than different-sex cohabiting or married couples. Overall, same-sex couples reported shorter relationship lengths than different-sex couples.
I then told them that when partners move in together their dissolution rates change. Male and female same-sex couples still end their relationships more often than different-sex couples. The interesting thing is that male and different-sex couples end their relationships at lower rates when they live together than when they are dating but don't live together. Men generally select partners with stabilizing characteristics to live with.
Tom said that this was all very interesting and wondered whether their relationship would be stronger if they were married. Martin interrupted and said that they were both too young to get married. Tom was a little irritated and I steered the conversation in another direction.
Tom took out the Swedish vodka and poured us each a shot. After two rounds the atmosphere became less tense. Martin stood behind Tom and massaged his neck which was giving him trouble. Tom called it a night when the vodka was finished and suggested we hit the sack. Tom put his arm around me and invited me to join them, and my heart leaped with excitement.
The next morning, I got up early to make scrambled eggs on toast while Tom and Martin showered. I was excited to get to the office because the language edit was complete, and I could finally submit my dissertation. I had set aside the day to make the appropriate copies and to upload the document to the various portals. Fortunately, the plagiarism check had already been done and I could upload this form as well. Completing the dissertation had been a marathon task and I felt like dancing when I pressed the enter key for the last time.
I returned to my tiny office once I had delivered all the documents to the higher degree office. They provided me with a stamped slip which I filed with a copy of the dissertation and other documents in the file. I also filed the transcripts I had in the office. I sat down and looked out the window and reflected on my journey. The fieldwork I did in Lesotho was certainly a highlight, and the experience of studying in South Africa was very worthwhile. I also thought about the people I had met along the journey and realised that Tom and been very helpful, and I was glad that I had thanked him in the acknowledgments. I sent my mom, in Karlstad, a text message to tell her that I submitted.
I met Tom and Martin at the pub near the university to celebrate. Tom had three large beers waiting on the bar counter and we drank them quickly, before the next round arrived.
"Here's to you our Swedish boy Doctor Sven. Congratulations and best wishes for your next research project," Tom said.
Martin squeezed my arse and kissed me on the lips and Tom kissed me on the cheek. We found a table in the corner and ordered some pizzas to celebrate. My head was spinning after three large beers and my body felt warm. I felt content and safe with Tom and Martin and a feeling of happiness washed over me. At that moment I wished that we were all back in the apartment in the double bed. Tom had his arm around me and whispered how proud he was of me.
It was late and we called an Uber to take us home. I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on to make some coffee, and Tom and Martin called me to join them in the shower. They were being silly and squeezed the olive-scented gel onto me and started to create a lather. Their hands wondered all over my body and Martin massaged my hole. Tom massaged my chest and his hands went down to me dick and balls. It felt very good, and I moaned. Tom kissed me and Martin came up behind me and rubbed his dick on my lower back. I felt Martin's dick being pushed into my arse and I relaxed to make his entry easier. Tom slowly wanked me. Tom had gone right in, and I felt his balls against my arse as he slowly moved his hips. His dick got my prostate, and my body shivered each time. I was so aroused that my cum shot into Tom's mouth. A minute or two later Martin's dick started throbbing and he pulled out and unloaded on my back. I pulled Tom towards me and started wanking Tom who shot his load onto me in seconds.
We rinsed off and left the shower and dried each other. Tom took the middle position in the bed and Martin, and I lay on either side of him. I snuggled up behind Tom who faced Martin's back. We fell asleep quickly after a very full day.
Tom had an early lecture and got up first. Martin and I remained in bed and Tom told us to behave ourselves. I cuddled with Martin, and I trembled slightly with anticipation. Martin kissed me as our bodies continued to warm each other. My dick pressed against Martin. I felt a felt a little guilty thinking about Tom. But the excitement of the moment overshadowed those thoughts.
Martin told me that he had a crush on me. I laughed and said that I had never guessed. We grabbed each other's dicks. Martin's dick felt good and he was hard and leaking precum. I suggested that we 69 and we got each other's dicks in our mouths. I was ecstatic and enjoyed the moment. Next thing Martin shot his load, and I swallowed it and came moments later. We lay together spooning, I enjoyed the intimacy of the moment.
I only had a week left before I was scheduled to return to Sweden, and I contacted the airline to confirm my reservations. If Tom or Martin asked me to stay, I'm sure that I would have cancelled my ticket. Tom had already said that he would pay for my ticket to come back for my graduation, but I said that my mother would cover the cost. We had agreed to visit a wine estate on the outskirts of the historic town of Paarl as our last outing.
There was cheese-making and chocolate-making on the estate and a wonderful deli. The farm was located on the slopes of Paarl Mountain. The family-owned Fairview Winery has been crafting wines since 1699 when it was founded by Governor Simon van der Stel. Today the estate produces fruity Pinotage as well as popular blends such as Goats do Roam Rouge Blend made up mainly of Cinsault grapes. We purchased a basket lunch and found a spot under an old oak tree. It was very quiet where we were, even though there were many visitors, and we had a chance to talk.