Because I Love You

Author's Note:

Well here goes nothing. This is my first story for all to read. Hopefully you'll find it interesting to say the least, and keep up with it. All of your comments and criticisms are appreciated. Please let me know what you think of the story.

E-mail me at: rtstories@hotmail.com

I'll keep this one short...cause once again it's taken me awhile to post...sorry!!! If you want to know the reason...I talk about it a bit at the bottom.

Special mention to Kyle, the angel, for the thing about the gypsy woman...thanks.

Legal Disclaimer:

This work is purely fiction. It is purely derived from the mind of the author and in no way dictates the sexual orientation of any of the Back Street Boys. Only in my mind do I truly believe they're gay, and in love with me. Any similarity to real life, or to someone's life, is purely coincidental. It contains homosexual subject matter. If you're not into that, why not??? Gay porn/erotica is way hotter than heterosexual porn!!! Do not read any further if you are under the legal age for viewing this material in your country, state, province, city, town, suburb, home, shack, hole in the wall, cardboard box, van down by the river, trailer home, or room!!!

End of Chapter Nine

"What??? You come out to me, and you think you can jump my bones??? I don't think so." Ewan said as he reached the door, and opened it.

"You BASTARD!!!" Nick yelled from inside the room. Ewan just smiled, and took a bow, as he stepped into the hallway.

"I'll be back in forty-five minutes. You better be dressed!!!" Ewan yelled, as he started to run towards Brian's door, so that Nick couldn't get a chance to retaliate. He heard Nick's door slam shut, as he reached Brian's door, and knocked. He was laughing, and out of breath, when Brian opened the door. Ewan was trying to catch his breath, as he walked into the room.

"I take it things went well?" Brian asked.

"Yeah. I think they did." Ewan said, to Brian's amazement.

Because I Love You By: Lucas

Chapter 10

Ewan sat in a salon chair next to Nick, who was getting his hair and makeup done. He watched Nick's reflection from the lighted mirrors that illuminated the room. He couldn't believe the image in the mirror, was the same person he saw when he arrived in New York. Since the day they talked in his hotel room, only a week earlier, a dramatic change had come over Nick,

In the back of his mind, Ewan knew Nick was still the same person. Now, the only difference is that he had a better outlook on the situation he was in. The image being reflected back at Ewan was confident, care free, and full of life. Ewan could tell all this from the aura that emanated from him, and from the slight smile of contentment on Nick's face. Even as he sat with his eyes closed, and as the beautician applied the make-up, the innocent smile only a carefree child can posess, was present on his face. It was that same smile that drew Ewan to Nick a year ago, when Nick was happy.

A week ago, he noticed the smile was gone. He was saddened by that fact. As the week went by, Ewan was consoled when that same smile began to slowly reappear on Nick's face. Now, as he sat beside his best friend, Ewan knew Nick's innocent smile had returned for good. Just as it was a telltale sign of Nick's happiness then, so too was it a sign of his happiness now. For that, Ewan was glad.

Ewan reflected on the events of the past week. He remembered the dinner they had, after finally leaving Nick's room that day. Ewan could still picture the hesitation on Nick's face, and the occasional uncomfortable look he gave him. Ewan began to have second thoughts about forcing Nick to come to dinner, so early after his coming out, but all doubt was stamped from his mind when Nick started to open up towards the end of dinner. Nick was talking again, and interacting with everyone. Ewan chose that time to observe Nick, noticing the transformation begin, as he caught a glimpse of the Nick he once knew.

Later on that week, Ewan and Nick decided to play a prank on Howie, on behalf of A.J. and Brian. They took Howie's gel bottle, emptied it out, and filled it with clear corn syrup. At one of their concerts, Howie put what he thought was the gel in his hair. Nick and Ewan tried their hardest to contain their laughter, but lost it when Brian asked to borrow the gel from Howie. That was when they lost it, letting Howie and Brian know that they'd been had. They looked at Ewan and Nick in disbelief, as the corn syrup stuck to their hands, and dripped onto their faces. They were mad at first, but those feelings of animosity were irradicated, the minute they saw Nick laughing. They hadn't seen him laugh like he did, in a very long time, and they thought to themselves how they couldn't get mad at Nick's prank, if it bought a smile to his face. Rather than getting angry, Howie turned to Brian and whispered something in his ear. The next thing Nick and Ewan knew, they were being chased. Brian and Howie stretched out their syrup filled hands, attempting to wipe it on the two pranksters. They were all laughing when Brian caught Ewan's gaze, giving him a large smile.

However, the memory that stuck out most in Ewan's mind, was of the talk he and Nick had on the balcony of Brian's hotel room. The other night, Nick had come over to see Brian, but found Ewan instead. He explained to Nick that Brian had gone out on an errand with Kevin. They hadn't expected to talk that night, but they did. They sat on the balcony for a few hours, talking about the past week, and what Nick planned to do once Ewan had left.

Ewan asked Nick if he had planned on coming out to the others, as well as revealing his feelings for Brian. Nick responded by telling Ewan that he was comfortable with where he was now. He was content knowing that Ewan was the only one who knew about him, and his feelings for Brian.

"I wanna wait before I come out to anyone else. I wanna feel comfortable and confident before I say anything. I don't know what I'll tell the guys yet, or what how I'll tell them, but when I have that all figured out, I'll let you know, 'cause I want you to be there. You've been great, and I love ya for that."

He now had someone he could talk to, and someone who would be there for him, until he was ready to tell the others. Ewan asked whether or not Nick was considering telling his family, but Nick had said that he hadn't even considered that yet. He was more concerned with telling the guys first, and with telling Brian how he felt, before he took the next step.

Ewan relived in his mind, the tender moment they shared, as friends, that night. Throughout the past week, Ewan felt his friendship for Nick deepen. He held him even closer to his heart, loving him more than anyone else in his life at the moment. Ewan thought to himself how coming out forged a stronger bond between the two of them, and wondered if it were true of most coming out stories.

Now, as Nick sat in the salon chair next to him, Ewan looked on, marveling in the strength Nick had. Ewan called it "strength," because he knew it took all of Nick's will, to keep the fact that he was gay hidden. Nick was strong enough to hold onto his sanity, all of those months he felt he had no one to talk to. He was stronger now, because he refused to let it break him down or destroy him. Ewan knew Nick was strong enough to handle what would come, if he were to come out now, but he would let Nick be the one to decide when the time was right for him to do so. Ewan was in awe with Nick's strength. What he didn't know, was that Nick attributed his strength to Ewan. Without him, he would have surely destroyed himself.

"Ewan...Ewan...anyone home???" Nick said, as he shook Ewan from his thoughts.

"What? Huh?" Ewan said, as Nick brought him back to reality.

"Dude. You were just staring off into space, a second ago. What's up?" Nick asked.

"Nothing really. I was just thinking about how much fun I had this past week." Ewan said with a smile. "I'm really not looking forward to going back to Michigan tonight. I really don't want to go back to school."

"So...don't go. You can stay here with us!!!" Nick said draping his arm around Ewan's neck.

Ewan looked at the image of Nick and himself, in the largely illuminated dressing room mirror. Nick was staring back at him, with a huge smile on his face, waiting for an answer. Ewan was took pride in the image that was reflected back at him. The only time he ever felt at ease with himself was during moments like these. It was through his friends that he found happiness. Other than his sister and Consuella, his family was never able to produce moments such as this. It was always cold and businesslike. He wanted so bad to stay with Nick and the others, but knew he had to go back. He knew they'd always be close to his heart, even though at times, long distances separated them. He knew if Nick needed, or if any of them needed, he was only a phone call away, and vice-versa.

"As much as I'd love to do that, Nick..." Ewan said, and paused as if to second guess himself, "...you know I can't. I have to go back to school." Ewan said sadly, as he felt Nick remove his hand from around his neck.

"Aw C'mon, Ewan. You don't need to go back to school. You know you have a place in your dad's company when you want. He'd jump at the chance to have you work for him. He told me himself" Nick said, trying to convince Ewan to stay.

"That's exactly the reason why. You know, just as well as I do, I don't want to work for him. I've spent all of this time trying to get away from him, and from his company. The minute I come crawling to him for a job; is the minute I die. I've told him that countless times, but he never listens. I've spent all this time doing exactly the opposite of what he's wanted, just to piss him off. I'm not about to stop now, even if it meant me touring with you guys, and me being able to spend time with you." Ewan explained to Nick, who took a seat across from him, back in the other salon chair. As he said that, Ewan had managed to avert from making any eye contact, only looking at Nick through the mirror.

Nick looked back at Ewan in frustration, knowing he was right, but mostly because he couldn't get what he wanted.

"C'mon Ewe, working for your dad can't be that bad. He seemed like a totally cool guy when we met him." Nick countered.

"Yeah. 'seemed' is the key word. You were just visiting. That's why he was nice. He always said, "Put on your best face, son...never let anyone see what or how you truly feel. People will only perceive of you what you choose to let them know. Never show weakness. That way, you'll never look helpless, or like a target. Never show contempt. That way, no one will know who your true enemies are. Always keep the advantage." Ewan said in a monotone voice, repeating the speech his father had given him on so many occasions.

"That's my father...ever the businessman who could never show an emotion if he wanted to." Ewan said sadly. "That's the kind of fucked up thinking that made me want to get out of that house. Thank god I had Consuella to get me through it, and for keeping me from becoming one of them." Ewan said defeated. Nick always noticed a change come over Ewan, whenever he talked about his family. If he had thought of it earlier, he wouldn't have broached the subject, but it was too late.

"He's the reason why I have to go back to school, Nick. He's the reason why I have to do this. I'm doing this as much for me, as to fuck that bastard over. He's already got Jon, I'll be damned if he gets me or Steph." Ewan said, as the ever-present strength in his voice returned. "As much as I'd love to be the sixth BackStreet Boy..." Ewan said, and then hesitated. "You and I both know I can't do it Nick."

"'Sides, I can't sing or dance anyway. Would you believe, I'm worse than you are? I don't even know how you slipped through, during tryouts, anyway." Ewan joked.

"Hey. I didn't have to tryout. I was one of the ones who started BackStreet, remember?"

"Naw, from what I hear, they only chose you cause you were young; creating a greater appeal for the teenage girl market. Oh wait...but your gay...so sorry...no teenage girls for you." Ewan said in a fake Chinese accent. "They should have known better. Now they're stuck with you." Ewan said with his patented smile.

Nick paused for a moment, and looked away from Ewan, faking defeat. Just as he thought Ewan wasn't paying attention, Nick leaped out from the chair he was sitting in, and made a dash for the salon chair Ewan was in. Ewan, knowing Nick all too well, shot out of the seat well before Nick got there. He ran towards the door, knowing Nick wouldn't give up without a victory.

Ewan grasped the handle of the door, and pulled it open. He was looking backwards, as he ran into the hallway. Ewan only made it a few feet, before he hit something hard. Ewan didn't see what was it that he hit, before he noticed he was falling backwards. He didn't make it all the way, because Nick ran into him, causing Ewan to get hit again. After Nick's assault from the rear, Ewan fell straight to the ground.

He held his eyes shut, trying to will away the pain. He lay on the ground moaning and groaning, trying to regain the breath that was knocked out of him. He lay on the cold, concrete floor of the arena, trying to regain his senses.

"Ewan? You alright?" He heard a voice call out to him.

When the pain had somewhat subsided, Ewan forced his eyes open, and looked up. Nick and Kevin stood above him, holding onto various parts of their bodies, that Ewan rammed into. He was trying to get his bearings straight, when Kevin and Nick both extended an arm, offering to help him stand. Ewan graciously accepted their help, and stood up.

"God Ewan, you should watch where you're going." Kevin said.

"It's not my fault. Nick was chasing me." Ewan said in a childish voice, as if he was tattling on his sibling.

"Nuh-uh!!!" Nick responded, equally as childish. "You started it. You were making fun of me."

"Yeah, but you were the one who started to..." Ewan started to say, when Kevin interrupted.

"Alright you two. I don't want to hear it. I was just stopping by to remind Nick about the meet and greet we have to do." Kevin stated. "The two of you can finish this after the concert. Right now, we have fans to attend to."

"Fine." Ewan said with a pout.

"Let's go. You coming Ewan?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Ewan responded.

As soon as Kevin turned around, to walk towards the lounge where the meet and greet was taking place, Nick turned to Ewan and stuck out his tongue.

Ewan stood in a small, out of the way corner, watching his five friends do what they loved. Each time he couldn't help but smile, at the joy each of them gave to their fans with each autograph or photo taken. Ewan also envied the pure joy each of them had when it came to performing, and doing these meet and greets. He could only imagine how exhausting it was for them, but it never showed when they were around their fans. Ewan knew that no matter how tired, or what any of them were going through, their fans came first.

Ewan's attention was suddenly drawn to Nick. There was no indication of trouble, or for that matter, any reason why Ewan's attention should be drawn to Nick, but it was. Ewan watched as Nick was given a photograph for him to sign. Nick looked up at the person who gave him the photo, locking gazes for a brief second. In reality it was a brief second, but for Ewan, it seemed like an eternity. In his mind, everything was going in slow motion. He took in every detail, and every movement exchanged between Nick and this person. There was something about him, but Ewan couldn't place it in his mind. He only knew what he felt, and that feeling was stronger than ever.

"Who should I make this out to?" Nick asked the man who stood in front of him.

"If you could make it out to Justin...actually no, Justin's my first name; if you could make it out to Shane that'd be cool." He answered nervously, embarrassed that he had possibly made a fool of himself, in front of his favorite member, of the BackStreet Boys.

"To Justin...or is it Shane? With Much Love, Nick Carter." Nick said with a grin, as he signed the picture Shane had given him. Nick put down the marker he used, looking up at Shane, as he handed back the picture he had just finished signing. Shane extended his hand to take back the picture Nick was holding. Instead of moving on, Shane instinctively lifted his head, his eyes meeting with Nick's. He stared into Nick's deep blue eyes, and felt his heart soar, and his stomach knot. Shane wasn't sure if it was from mere nervousness, or something else.

Nick held onto the picture longer than necessary, as he got lost in Shane's emerald green eyes. Nick stared into them, thinking how beautiful they looked. It stood out in contrast to Shane's lightly tanned complexion, and light brown hair. Nick thought it was impossible, but his eyes were greener, and even more striking than Kevin's. A shiver ran down his spine as he realized he was still holding onto the picture.

"Uh...So Shane, or Justin..." Nick stammered out as he let go.

"Um...it's Shane. I like to go by my middle name." He nervously explained. He couldn't believe he was actually talking with Nick Carter.

"Alright...Shane. Why don't you go by Justin?" Nick asked attempting to start a conversation, not wanting Shane to leave just yet.

"I've always used Shane. I think it's cause it stands out more than Justin. I guess I use it cause it's something for people to remember me by.

Justin just seems too plain to me." Shane explained.

"I guess you could say it's just as plain as 'Nick.'"

"Yeah, I guess, but if you combine it with your last name, "Carter," it doesn't seem so plain anymore. You're Nick Carter of the BackStreet Boys, or you could even go by your full first name, Nickolas. It's common, but you spell it differently, so it stands out. Whereas if I used Justin, I'd just be plain Justin. So, I like to use Shane." Shane explained, thinking to himself that he was babbling and probably boring Nick.

"Yeah I see what you mean." Nick said with a smile.

"So SHANE," Nick said stressing his name, "what brings you to a BackStreet Boys concert? Usually we get screaming teenage girls around here. It's nice to see a male fan, now and then."

"Well, other than the fact that I'm a big fan, a friend of mine decided to surprise me with tickets to your concert for my birthday." Shane explained.

"Cool. That's really nice of 'em. Are they here with you?" Nick asked.

"Um, yeah." Shane said, as he looked around the room for his friend. He spotted him, just as Kevin finished signing his autograph on a photo. Shane called out to him, and motioned for him to come over.

Nick noticed the tall man make his way towards them. He took this time to check him out, giving him the once over. He had short blonde hair, that was spiked, and blue-gray eyes. His complexion was fair, compared to Shane's, but nice nonetheless. He was thin and lanky, and his style was a cross between a skater and a GAP model. When he was standing in front of him, next to Shane, Nick was bought out of his trance when he heard Shane speak.

"Ryan, this is Nick. Nick, this is my boyfriend Ryan." Shane said as he introduced the two of them.

"Nice to meet ya Ryan." Nick said, trying to keep the shock from registering on his face.. He was shaking hands with Shane's "boyfriend," 'which means they're gay,' Nick thought to himself.

"Shane...I think I'd know who Nick Carter is." Ryan said, as he looked at Shane who was staring directly at Nick. "It's nice to meet you Nick. Shane and I are really big fans of yours." Ryan said, as he turned to Nick.

"Thanks. It means a lot to me to hear the two of you say that." Nick said. "You're a lucky guy Ryan. Shane seems like a very nice guy to have as a boyfriend." Nick said, openly acknowledging that fact for the first time.

"Thanks, but I already knew that. That's why I stood in line for fourteen hours to get these tickets and backstage passes, for his birthday."

Ryan said, as he put his arm around Shane's waist, and pulled him into his body, placing a slight kiss on his cheek. Shane blushed at his boyfriend's blatant public display of affection.

"Sweetie, not in public. Especially not in front of Nick Carter." Shane said, slightly embarrassed.

"No. It's totally cool." Nick jumped in. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm a hopeless romantic, so it's nice to see two people so much in love. It gives me hope in a way."

"See honey. It's okay with him." Ryan said, as he still held onto Shane.

"How could it not be." Nick said. "I'm in the business, remember?" Nick joked, as Shane and Ryan shared a small laugh.

Nick marveled at how openly affectionate the two of them were with each other. He could only wish that someday he could be just as affectionate...with Brian. Nick glanced over to his right, and saw Brian signing autographs for a few teenage girls. He was dressed in an all white, tight fitting outfit, ready for their first number. Once again, Nick's heart started its sprint, as Nick became light-headed from thinking about him. Nick wondered when the day would come when he could hold Brian, and kiss him affectionately, just as Ryan had done with Shane. Nick looked on as Brian laughed, probably at something one of the girls around him had said. It put a smile on Nick's face. Anytime he saw Brian happy, always put a smile on his face.

"Fifteen minutes till showtime." One of the production assistants yelled into the room, waking Nick from his daydream. He noticed Ryan and Shane still standing there, and blushed at leaving his guests for a moment.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to drift off into another world like that." Nick apologized.

"It's alright. Of all the people in the world, we should know what that's like." Shane said to Nick with a knowing grin. "Right Sweetie?" Shane asked, as he turned his head to look at Ryan.

"Huh?" Ryan asked coming out of his own thoughts. Shane was now giving him a questioning look.

"Yeah. That's right, Honey." Ryan said with a nervous laugh. "See, I zoned out too, just then." Ryan said, kissing Shane on the side of his neck.

"It happens all the time; whenever I think of Shane." Ryan said with a smile directed at Nick.

Nick returned the smile cautiously, thinking to himself whether or not he gave too much away with the look he gave Brian earlier. He made a mental note to be more careful next time. He couldn't let the whole world know how he felt about Brian...not yet, anyway.

"Ten minutes to curtain. Please make your way to your seats before the show starts. All BackStreet personnel make your way to the stage entrance." The production assistant yelled into the lounge.

"That's my cue. It was nice meeting you." Nick said, as he shook Shane's hand. "You too, Ryan." Nick said, repeating the same gesture. "Enjoy the show." He said as he started to leave.

"I'm sure we will. It was great meeting you too. It was a great birthday surprise." Shane said.

"That's right. Happy Birthday, again." Nick said cheerfully. "How old are ya today?"

"Twenty-One."

"Well then, Happy Twenty-first Birthday!!!" Nick said, walking over to Shane, pulling him into a hug.

"Thanks." Shane responded, when Nick let go of him.

"Nick, C'mon!!!" Kevin yelled from across the room. "We gotta go."

"Well, it was nice talking with you guys." Nick said, as he made his way towards Kevin.

"You too. Good Luck with the show." Ryan yelled after Nick, who acknowledged them by waving goodbye.

As soon as Nick left, Shane and Ryan made their way towards their seats. Ewan stepped out of the corner from where he was watching Nick. He made his way towards the exit, thinking to himself how he'd have to remember to ask Nick the couple.

"What's up San Francisco!?!?!" Nick yelled into his microphone, eliciting a deafening response from the crowd.

Ewan smiled from his place in the sound booth, when he heard the audience's response. He loved this part of the show, because it always pumped up the guys for their opening number. Ewan knew they fed off of the crowd's energy, and was glad to see that this crowd was providing them with plenty of fuel.

"Yall ready for a good show?" Brian yelled into his microphone, as the crowd grew louder upon hearing him speak.

"We just want to thank you guys for coming out tonight, for supporting the BackStreet Boys, and..." Nick said, as the crowd continued to scream. "...and," Nick started again, "and for being the 'Perfect Fans.'" Nick said, exciting the crowd even more, by mentioning one of the songs from their upcoming album.

"Before we start, I just wanted to wish Shane a Happy Birthday." Nick paused, hearing the crowd applaud, cheer, and "awww," all at the same time.

Ryan stood next to Shane, and when he heard Nick's announcement, looked at his boyfriend. They were holding hands, as Shane looked at Ryan; dumbfounded at Nick's words. He was bought out of his revere, when he felt his hand move. Ryan bought their clasped hands up to his lips, giving the back of Shane's hand a light kiss. Shane's eyes were on Ryan's face. He smiled when Ryan mouthed the words "I Love You," over the deafening crowd. His words were louder than the crowd's screams, as Shane heard them in his heart.

"The other thing that I need to say is to a really good friend of ours, who's been touring with us this past week." Nick said, as a smile grew on his face. "You know who you are. I just wanted to say Thanks. Thanks for being there for me when I needed you most, and for being a great friend." Nick said, trying to keep his emotions from surfacing.

Ewan, on the other hand, was overcome with emotion from Nick's gesture. It touched him, and reminded him how important Nick was in his life. A large smile appeared on Ewan's face, and his eyes glossed over, as he fought back tears. Marc, who was standing next to him, handed Ewan a tissue, and smiled, as if to say it was alright to cry. Ewan returned the smile, and took the tissue from his hand, wiping away the still forming tears.

"Lastly," Nick said, "I wanna thank Frick for bringing him here. I never say it enough, but you're a great friend for always thinking of me." Nick said, as he looked back towards Brian. "Thanks." Nick finished, smiling at him. Brian smiled back, acknowledging Nick.

"Okay San Francisco...Thanks for listening. Now, let's get this show started!!!" Nick yelled, as the band started to play the intro to "Larger than Life." Nick took his position next to Brian, giving him one last smile, as he mouthed the words, "Thank You."

As soon as the concert ended, Nick, Brian, A.J., Howie and Kevin found themselves in a frenzied rush. Ewan's flight was leaving in a few hours, and they all wanted to see him off. Once they were finished, with some assistance from their security team, they made their way towards the awaiting limousine.

The ride to San Francisco International Airport was a quiet one. They were all tired from the show, but most of all, the quiet stemmed from the immanent knowledge that they had to say goodbye soon. To them, it felt like a member of BackStreet was leaving. In a sense, that was true. Ewan had played such an integral part in each one of their lives, especially Nick and Brian's. Ewan's departure hit the two of them the hardest. There was an unspoken bond that was shared between them. It was a bond that only brothers knew. Once again, they were only hours away from saying goodbye. No words were spoken, in fear of desecrating the sanctity of the moment. Only glances, and small smiles were exchanged between the six of them.

When they arrived at the airport, Brian, A.J., Howie, and Kevin made their way towards the private lounge. They had told Ewan they'd meet him there, where they'd more likely go unnoticed. Nick opted to take the risk of being noticed, so he could help Ewan with his luggage, and so that they'd have some time to talk in private.

Once Ewan was checked in, he walked with Nick towards the First-Class lounge. They quietly walked side-by-side, when Nick noticed a sign for a restroom in the distance. When they were near the door, Nick grabbed Ewan, pulling him inside.

"Nick, what are you doing?" Ewan asked surprised.

Nick didn't answer. Instead, he proceeded to look around the bathroom for any sign of people who could overhear them. After looking under the door of each stall; satisfied that no one else was in there with them, Nick turned to Ewan with a smile on his face.

"What?" Ewan asked. "You better not be thinking about propositioning me in the men's room of the airport. Cause if you are, I'm telling you right now that it ain't happening. There's better ways of asking me to have sex with you." Ewan joked.

"Like I'd want to have sex with your skinny ass." Nick joked back.

"Hey, you leave my ass out of this. There's only one ass you should be thinkin' of right now, and it ain't mine."

"Ah...and what a cute ass it is. The things I'd like to do with that ass too." Nick said with a dreamy look on his face.

"Alright. That's it. I don't need the mental image of you fondling Brian's ass, to be the last thing I think about before I get on the plane."

"What? Does the image of me slapping Brian's ass, while we have hot monkey sex, bother you?" Nick said, trying to implant the image in Ewan's mind.

"That's way too much info. that I didn't need to hear." Ewan said, as he sat atop the counter. "Besides, before you decide to do any ass slapping of a certain BackStreet Boy, you're gonna have to grow some balls, and tell him how you feel first." Ewan said, trying to casually bring up the subject.

He had been doing it all week, knowing Nick well enough to know that if he wasn't forced to confront the issue, he'd try his best to ignore it. Ewan had been constantly bothering Nick, trying to get him to talk about it.

Every time he brought it up, Nick would find a way to avoid the topic. Now, they were alone, with no one to interrupt, and no way for Nick to squirm his way out of the conversation.

Nick cursed himself for setting himself up like this. From the smile he saw on Ewan's face, Nick knew Ewan took pleasure in the fact that he was the one who got himself caught in this trap.

"You're such a bastard, sometimes." Nick said to Ewan.

"I know. Now talk." Ewan said seriously, but still unable to keep the smile off of his face. "When are you gonna tell Brian, or do plan on not telling him at all?" Ewan asked.

"Geez. You don't beat around the bush do you?"

"No. You should know that by now. So, stop trying to change the subject, cause it ain't gonna work. Talk." Ewan said commandingly.

"I didn't know there was a schedule I had to follow. I just came out to you a week ago. You can't expect me to go around telling everyone, especially Brian. I'm not about to go up to him and be like, 'Hey Brian, pass the toast, and by the way I'm in love with you.'" Nick said sarcastically.

"It just doesn't work that way." Nick said, concentrating his gaze on the ground, while swinging his legs back and forth.

"I know it doesn't work that way, but I do know the way you work. I know that if there was any way you could avoid the subject, you would find it, and do it. Heck, I'm surprised you even came out to me at all, and you know you only did it cause you had no other choice."

Nick knew Ewan was right. He hated the fact that he was always right, but at the same time loved him for it. Nick knew not confronting his feelings, or situations, was one of his shortcomings. Ewan knew it too, and was always there to kick his ass every time he fell into that mode. Nick loved him for it, but hated being put on the spot like this.

"I know, but just getting the courage to do that was hard enough." Nick said, still not looking at Ewan.

"Yeah, but look how well it turned out. I'm still here, and now you have someone to talk to when it comes to those things. I know you also feel a whole hell of a lot better. Just think how relieved you'll feel when you tell Brian how you feel." Ewan said, as he stared at Nick's profile.

"Yeah, and when he tells me he doesn't feel the same way, what then?" Nick asked sullenly.

"Have I ever told you how endearing your optimism is?" Ewan asked, filled with sarcasm. "Now * if * he doesn't feel the same way, at least you'll know, and you'll move on. I'm not gonna kid ya, you'll feel really depressed, but eventually you'll move on. When you finally tell him, you'll get your answer, and you'll be set free from this limbo you're stuck in right now."

Nick started to speak, when Ewan interrupted him.

"And if you even think about saying how much you'd rather keep him as a friend, rather than risk losing him by telling him, I'm gonna kick your ass right now. First of all, I doubt Brian will stop being friends with you, just cause you tell him. Trust me, he won't. Cause he knows I'll be right there to beat him up if he does. Second of all, you know that excuse you use is bullshit. I can see how badly you want to tell him. I'm not blind. I can see how much it hurts you to hide this from him...so just frickin' tell him already." Ewan finished saying. Nick sat silently next to him, not showing any form of a response. He sat there, trying to win a staring contest, he had entered into earlier, with the tile floor.

They sat in silence for some time before Ewan spoke again.

"Fine. You'll tell him when you're ready." Ewan said frustrated with his one sided conversation with Nick. "Just know this. I'm not gonna let this go until you tell him."

"Gee, why am I not surprised?" Nick said almost inaudibly.

Ewan heard his comment, but instead of responding, he gave up, and let it go.

"We better get goin'...the guys are probably wonderin' where we are." Ewan said, as the echo of his feet hitting the floor, resonated throughout the bathroom.

"Ewan?" Nick called out as he stepped onto the floor. Ewan didn't turn around at first, but when he heard Nick walk up to him, he turned around immediately.

Nick opened his arms, and pulled Ewan into him. Nick held him tightly, afraid to let go of his brother. He leaned into Ewan's ear and whispered, "Thanks for everything, Ewe."

"You don't need to thank me, Nicky." Ewan spoke. "That's what I'm here for."

When Nick finally let go of Ewan, he bought his hand up to his eyes, wiping away the tears.

"You're such a cry baby." Ewan joked.

"Shutup!!!" Was Nick's response, as he tried to suppress his laughter. "Let's go before you miss your flight."

"See, I knew you couldn't wait to get rid of me."

"True. That's so true." Nick said as he put his arm around Ewan's neck.

"That's the last time I try and help you with your man problems." Ewan joked, as they made their way out of the bathroom.

As they were walking, Ewan remembered something about the concert earlier.

"Hey, who's Shane?" Ewan asked.

"Just some guy I met at the meet and greet." Nick answered non-chalantly.

"The same guy you were talking to, and checking out at the same time?"

Ewan asked, causing Nick to stop abruptly.

"I was * NOT * checking him out." Nick said, as he turned red.

"That's such a lie. I saw the way you were looking at him. You were checking him out. See, you're even blushing right now." Ewan pointed out, loving every minute of Nick's embarrassment.

"Fine. So what if I was checking him out. I'm allowed to." Nick said confidently. "Either way, he's taken. I met his boyfriend." Nick explained.

"So you admit to checking this guy out?" Ewan asked deviously, as they started walking towards the lounge again.

"Yeah. Last time I checked, it wasn't a crime. I'm still single. I can check out other guys." Nick said quietly, so that no one would overhear them. "Why did you ask? Are ya jealous?" Nick joked.

"Naw, I was just curious." Ewan said, followed by a pause, and a devilish smile. "Cause I'm gonna tell Brian on you now." Ewan said, as he sprinted towards the lounge.

"HELLS NO YOU WON'T!!!" Nick yelled, as he ran after Ewan.

Ewan stopped, only to open the door to the First-Class lounge. He looked back to see that Nick was only a few feet away, and gaining ground. He ran into the lounge, out of breath, and laughing.

The four of them turned towards the door to see the cause of all the commotion.

"Shit...Where's Nick?" Kevin instinctually responded, as Ewan ran towards them. Kevin's question was answered when Nick came running through the door.

"Hey guys. Guess what..." Ewan said, to their confusion. "Nicky's got a..." Ewan started to say, when Nick screamed.

"NOOOOO!!!" Nick yelled, as he made a mad dash towards Ewan, trying to cover his mouth. Nick missed, because Ewan had already sought refuge behind Brian, and Kevin was now standing between them, ready to block any more attempts from Nick to stop Ewan.

Everyone was now laughing, even Kevin, who was curious to hear what Ewan had to say.

"What was that you were saying, Ewan?" Kevin said, trying to seem serious, while keeping an eye on Nick. "What does Nick have?"

Nick could see Ewan smiling behind Brian. Ewan took one last look at Nick before he spoke.

"Nick's got a secret." Ewan said, emphasizing the last word, just as a child would.

A.J. shot a look at Ewan. 'Oh my god. Is he gonna out Nick?' A.J. thought to himself, and then directed his look of shock to Kevin. Kevin let his guard down, returning the same look A.J. was giving him. Obviously, they were thinking the same thing. All of a sudden, Kevin felt uncomfortable with the situation. He thought about intervening, but his curiosity got the better of him, and he pressed on.

"Really?" Kevin said with an evil grin. "So what's this secret, Nick?"

"Nothing. I don't know what Ewan's talking about." Nick said through gritted teeth, without breaking the death stare he was administering to Ewan. The smile that was still plastered on Ewan's face told Nick he was unaffected by the stare.

"What's Nick keeping a secret from all of us?" Kevin asked, still looking at Nick. His stare remained unbroken, until he caught sight of A.J., who was staring at him this time. Kevin shrugged his shoulders, as if to ask A.J., "What?" In return, A.J. stared back, silently asking Kevin, "What are you doing?"

Ewan continued to grin evilly at Nick. He took in the sheer terror, mixed with anger, on Nick's face. Somewhere in between those two emotions, Ewan could see Nick silently pleading with him not to tell everyone.

"Like I was saying," Ewan continued. "Nick's got a secret. He's..." Ewan said, and paused for dramatic effect.

Nick's heart was pounding in his chest. He couldn't believe Ewan was about to out him in front of everyone. Nick felt conflicting emotions within him. He didn't know if he wanted to break down in tears, or rip Ewan's heart out, reenacting the scene he always saw, whenever he played Mortal Kombat. He thought about the site of holding Ewan's still beating heart, in his clenched fist, as he raised it up above his head in victory. His thoughts stopped when he heard Ewan speak again.

"...He's..." Ewan started, letting the tension and anticipation build within the room. All eyes were on him, waiting to reveal Nick's secret.

Nick couldn't believe that Ewan was about to do this to him, even after all they went through this week, and all they talked about. Nick's emotions ran amuck within him. He felt angry and betrayed, while at the same time, feeling dejected and terrified. He stared at Ewan, with the knowledge that his own best friend had decided to turn on him.

"He's..." Ewan began again, garnishing everyone's attention in the room. "He's...I forgot." Ewan said with a big smile, as Nick finally let out the breath he was holding. After a few seconds, Ewan noticed the color return to Nick's face. Everyone looked at him, giving him various looks, ranging from confusion, to disappointment, to relief. Ewan's only response was his patented killer smile.

"You're such a tease." Brian said, as he turned around to face Ewan.

"I know. I couldn't help myself." Ewan said, as Nick took a seat in fear of passing out. He was unable to respond to Ewan's latest joke because he was still in shock.

"Come here. I wanna talk to you for a sec." Brian said, as he and Ewan walked over to a secluded area of the lounge, where no one could overhear them. "I think Nick needs time to recover from the heart attack you just gave him."

"Yeah. I'll talk to him about it later." Ewan said. "What's up Bri?" Ewan asked.

"I just wanted to Thank You again, before you left. You don't know how much it means to Nick, the guys, and especially me, that you'd come up to help Nick out, when we couldn't." Brian said, somewhat unenthusiastically, resenting the fact that he was unable to help his own best friend.

Ewan's keen perception skills picked up on Brian's thoughts, and he went to work. "You know Nick loves you guys, right Bri?" Ewan asked.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't get why he couldn't talk to us about whatever was bothering him. Obviously, he could talk to you, cause he's doing a hundred times better since you talked to him. You gave him back to us Ewan. I don't know how to even begin to thank you for that." Brian explained.

"First of all, you don't need to thank me for anything. I did exactly the same thing I know you and Nick would do, if I was in the same situation he's in. The other thing is that you shouldn't feel bad that he couldn't talk to you guys about what's goin' on with him right now. In fact, I'm jealous that he thought that about you guys." Ewan explained.

"Jealous?" Brian said confused. "Why would you be jealous? You're the one he 'chose' to talk to about his problem."

"He didn't 'chose' me Bri, he was kinda forced to. He had no choice, cause I'd have found out sooner or later." Ewan said, trying to comfort Brian. "I know it pro'lly pisses you off being in the dark about all this, but trust me when I tell you Nick will tell you guys when he's ready.

"And the reason why I'm jealous is that sometimes when friends are too close, they can't share certain things. They value the friendship so much, that they don't want to introduce any elements that would possibly destroy, or alter what they have." Ewan explained. "In Nick's case, that's what it was. I guess if you break it down, Nick probably told me cause he doesn't have to see me every day, like he has to with you guys, and because, in a way, he could stand living without my friendship." Ewan said, hoping his words would comfort Brian.

"Although, it'd be a big loss on his part." Ewan added jokingly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Brian said somberly.

"You guess?" Ewan asked.

"No. You are right. I was just trying to find a graceful way out, without giving you the satisfaction of knowing you were right." Brian joked. "But you're wrong about Nick being able to deal without your friendship. You're as much a part of our family now, just as any one of us are." Brian said. "If you want, you could be the bastard step-child." Brian jokingly added.

"Hey, if anyone's gonna be a bastard, it has to at least be Kevin." Ewan joked.

"You're such a joker. Are ya ever gonna take things seriously?" Brian asked.

"Why? So I can be as uptight as your cousin Kevin 'stick up my ass' Richardson?" Ewan said, answering Brian's question.

A moment of silence passed between the two, as they reflected back on their times together.

"I'll miss you. You know that?" Brian said.

"Yeah. I know. I'm a missable guy." Ewan joked bringing a smile to Brian's face. "Seriously though, I'll miss you guys too. You have no idea how tempted I am to stay."

"Who said anything about staying? I just said I'd miss you." Brian joked.

"Nick asked me to stay." Ewan defended.

"Nick doesn't count, we just tell him he does." Brian said.

"If he hasn't figured that out by now, he's dumber than he looks."

They fell into another silence, when Brian spoke again.

"I know you said not to say it, but I want to say it anyway. Thanks Ewan...for everything." Brian said. "You really helped fix Nick."

"Yeah, well just don't break him again. I know it was you who dropped him on his head." Ewan said, as he and Brian stood up, and gave each other a hug.

A flight attendant walked into the lounge, causing Brian and Ewan to break apart.

"Flight 195 to Michigan will begin boarding in a few minutes, at gate 25B." She announced, then left the room.

Brian and Ewan walked back to the group, so they could all say their goodbyes.

"I guess that's me guys." Ewan said with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

A.J. was the first to walk up to Ewan and say goodbye.

"I'm gonna miss you. You're leaving me all alone with these boring guys, again." A.J. joked. "I wish you could stay on tour with us, but I know you can't wait to get back to all the fun you're having at school." A.J. said as he pulled Ewan into a hug. "Thanks again." Ewan heard A.J. whisper.

"Alright you two, break it up." They heard Howie interrupt. "It's my turn to say goodbye." Howie said, as he pulled A.J. off of Ewan.

"Well, I can honestly say that I'm glad to see you go. Now that you're leaving, I can finally sleep well at night, without worrying what prank you'll pull next. Seriously though, it's always fun having you around. You're always welcome." Howie said, as he hugged Ewan, repeating the thanks A.J. had given earlier.

"Speak for yourself Howie." Kevin said, interrupting this time. "This pain in the ass brother of mine will never be welcome." Ewan knew Kevin was only joking, and was even touched when he called him his brother.

"I can't say I'll miss ya, cause if I know these guys, they'll have you here in a heartbeat just to torment me." Kevin said, as Ewan opened his arms indicating that he wanted a hug from Kevin too. Kevin rolled his eyes, and pretended to lamely return the hug, but in the end, he was hugging Ewan just as tight, or even tighter than the others. "Thanks for bringing Nick back. I love ya, kid." Kevin whispered into Ewan's ear, so that only Ewan heard what he had to say. Ewan's only response was to hug Kevin tighter.

When he let go, Brian was the next one to say goodbye.

"We already talked, so I don't want to say goodbye all over again. I hate saying goodbye. So, I'll just say that I can't wait to see you again. Two months right?" Brian asked.

"Yup." Ewan responded. "Two months, and I better see you guys in Michigan for your concert, and for my birthday."

"So, we'll see you in two months then." Brian said, once again hugging Ewan.

After he moved away from Brian, Ewan turned to face Nick. At first he was looking at the floor, trying to keep his emotions from breaking through to the surface, but once Nick made eye contact with Ewan, he couldn't help but let his emotions show. He didn't say any words. He didn't need to. Nick just pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I don't know whether to kill you, or kiss you." Nick whispered into Ewan's ear. "You scared the shit out of me. I thought I was gonna pee my pants."

"You should've seen the look on your face. I wish I had a camera." Ewan joked. "You should've called my bluff. You know I'd never do something like that, especially to you." Ewan said. "I just wanted to give you something to think about before I left."

"Well, it worked." Nick said quietly. "We'll talk before I see you in two months, right?"

"We better. Just call or write, but promise me if things get bad, you won't wait so long to talk to me, or anyone. Okay?" Ewan asked, as Nick nodded his head in agreement. Nick let go of Ewan when the flight attendant walked back into the room, informing everyone that they were waiting on Ewan, before they sealed the door.

Ewan said his final goodbyes, as he followed the flight attendant to the door of the lounge. He turned around one last time and said, "Two months...and I better get a good birthday gift." Everyone smiled, thinking how Ewan couldn't leave a room full of people, without making them smile first.

He followed the flight attendant to the gate, and down the long tube that connected the airport to the airplane. As usual, he stretched out his hand, and rubbed the outer shell of the plane, before he stepped inside. As one of the flight attendants showed Ewan to his seat, the door to the airplane slid shut, once again taking Ewan away from his family.

So, what did you think? What do you think so far? I know this one was kinda tame, again, but things needed to be said. We don't want to make things too dramatic now do we. Not really any new revelations...I'm saving them for the next few chapters. Just one question for you guys...who's Shane???

I wanna hear from all of ya reading this. I wanna know what you really think, and I'm kinda curious as to where you think the story is going, or where you'd like it to go. Or if you hate the story.

Explanation why it took me so long to write this one.

As for me...a new story has begun in my life. Unlike this one, I do not know the ending...but I'm hoping it's a story that has no end...and just goes on forever. It's also one that I don't have complete control over, because I'm not the only one writing it this time. A new book has been opened in my life, and with each passing day, the blank pages are filled...telling the story. I look forward to seeing what happens, but I know only time and fate know what the story has in store. I only hope that they will be kind to this soul.

If you're wondering what kind of story it is...all I can say is that it's a story worthy of the boybands archive. It's a story that I never dreamed possible, and only thought possible in the dreams, tales, stories, and fantasies that each author shares with us. It's a story that has broken into reality...my reality...and I can only hope it stays there.

Thanks You's:

To Justin...the man who fuels my dreams, and the only guy who really knows how to keep me in line... You're a great friend, and I'm glad you're in my life.

Just wanna give a special shout out to a certain someone in SJ who likes to wear shorts for not gagging. He's a great author and a great friend. He's not...I repeat NOT evil...so, check his story "Not Meant to Be" out.

Special mention to Drew for your comments and criticisms, especially the criticisms you make me a better writer!!! Also, Drew's writing his own story guys!!! It's a really great story, and yall should look out for it when it comes out...no pun intended. I'll give you guys the title when he figures it out ;)!!! I think it may involve a puppy...awwww!!!

Shout out to Carter who has his own story out on Nifty. I haven't forgotten about ya!!! It's called "Open Arms." Check it out!!! It's proving to be a good story.

Lucas Out...till next time!!!

rtstories@hotmail.com