Because I Love You

Author's Note:

Alright...I'll keep this one short and sweet. Here's chapter 15...and you didn't have to wait five months this time!!! Chapter 15 is the end of Part I or like Phase I of "Because I Love You." (This will make more sense when you start to read Chapter 16). I hope you enjoy!!! And as always...I'd love to hear from you!!!

E-mail me at: rtstories@hotmail.com

Legal Disclaimer:

This work is purely fiction. It is purely derived from the mind of the author and in no way dictates the sexual orientation of any of the Back Street Boys. Only in my mind do I truly believe they're gay, and in love with me. Any similarity to real life, or to someone's life, is purely coincidental. It contains homosexual subject matter. If you're not into that, why not??? Gay porn/erotica is way hotter than heterosexual porn!!! Do not read any further if you are under the legal age for viewing this material in your country, state, province, city, town, suburb, home, shack, hole in the wall, cardboard box, van down by the river, trailer home, room, or dormitory at Hogwart's School of Witches and Wizards!!!

One last thing...If you haven't done so already...Go buy the new BSB album, "BLACK AND BLUE."

End of Chapter Fourteen

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Jim asked.

"I don't know. I still haven't figured that one out yet. Ultimately, it's up to those two...I guess."

"Yeah...but we're gonna have to speed it up some." Jim said with an evil grin.

"Oh geez...I hate it when you go all Dr. Evil on me!!!"

Jim put his pinky to the lower right hand corner of his lip and laughed maniacally.

"Go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

"What are we doing tomorrow, by the way?"

"Well...they're having a group meeting, so if you wanna tag along to their hotel, I think it'll be okay."

"Coo." Jim responded before plopping down onto the bed.

"G'night JAG."

"Night lil' bro." Jim answered, completing their nightly ritual.

Ewan stood from the bed and looked over to where Brian and Nick lay. Somehow, during their banter, Brian and Nick had shift their position and where now 'spooning' each other, with Nick's arm around Brian's waist.

"It's fate." Ewan said as he turned off the lights and moved over to his desk. He sat down, turned on his desk lamp, and pulled out a piece of paper from one of the drawers and looked for a pen. When he found it, he looked over once again towards Nick and Brian and began to write.

Once he was done, he folded the piece of paper and found an envelope to put it in. Once he had sealed it, he turned it over and wrote Brian's name on the front. Ewan opened his backpack that was next to his desk, and placed the letter inside. He turned off the light on his desk. He moved over to the extra mattress he had brought in earlier to go to sleep, but before he laid down, he made his way over to the bed where Brian lay. Ewan kneeled down before his sleeping form and watched as the moonlight shone on his two best-friends.

"You've just gotta love him Bri...you just gotta." Ewan whispered into the night, before laying down to rest.

To my one true Angel...you're both an inspiration to my life, and to this story...

Because I Love You By: Lucas

Chapter 15

"C'mon guys, I'm serious. I need you to help me with this." Nick said, whining somewhat, while also trying to keep a straight face. His true feelings betrayed him though when he let a smile crack through the surface of his face.

He sat at the mahogany desk, watching Ewan and Jim roll around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

"Stop laughing. It wasn't that funny." Nick said in disgust, trying to convey the seriousness of the matter to the two on the floor. "I only have an hour to finish this."

"Alright...Alright...We'll stop." Ewan said, as he looked over at Jim, trying to keep from smiling. The sheer concentration Ewan tried to apply to this task only served to reinitiate the laughter between them. After this round, they finally managed to stop. "I can't believe you're really gonna do this." Ewan said to Nick, shaking his head in disbelief. "I mean...come on...a speech?" Ewan asked, incapable of controlling the mocking grin that escaped his lips.

"I told you. It's the only way I can do this. If I don't have something written down, and in front of me, I'll forget how to speak. This is way nerve wracking and too important for me to fuck up!"

"You're coming out to your friends. Even you can't fuck up 'coming out." I don't even think there is a way to fuck up coming out. You just stand there and say, 'Hi, I'm Nick and I'm GAY.' You don't need a speech. It's not like you're delivering the state of the union address." Ewan joked, which earned him another dirty look from Nick. He just smiled and let out a small laugh, knowing it would serve to piss Nick off even more.

"Alright jackass. Stop making fun of the kid. You're a straight boy.

You don't know the first thing about coming out." Jim said, and gave Nick an understanding glance that put a smile on his face." This is very important to Nick, and if he needs to make a speech...so be it."

"I guess...but you never had a speech prepared when you came out to me."

After some hesitation, Jim answered Ewan's inquiry. "Actually...Yeah, I did. It wasn't written down or anything, but I kinda knew what I wanted to say in my mind."

"How come I never heard it?"

"You would've had you given me the chance."

"What are..."Ewan started to question, but realized he already knew the answer. "Ohhhhh..." He said in realization, and let out a small chuckle as he thought back on that day.

"Wait...what happened?" Nick asked.

"I got as far as 'Ewan, I need to tell you something important.'" Jim explained to Nick. "Before he beat me to it." Jim said, and then looked over at Ewan who shook his head in embarrassment. "The words 'You're gay right?" came out of his mouth before I could say anything else. When I confirmed it, his next words were, 'YES...I knew it!!!' I think he was more thrilled that he guessed right than anything else."

"You're such an ass sometimes." Nick jokingly said to his best friend.

"I couldn't help myself. He had this look on his face, and somehow I just knew what he had to say." Ewan said through some laughter, which earned him a one-finger salute from Jim.

Noticing that he was quickly running out of time, Nick returned to the matter at hand.

"Alright, so I need you guys to help me with this speech."

"I'll help, though I don't know how much straight boy over there will be. I think he forgot to take his pills this morning." Jim said, and this time it was him who was on the receiving end of Ewan's salute. "Just as long as you don't pull out the note cards...we'll be fine."

Nick reached into his backpack and searched around for something. When he found what he was looking for, he pulled out his hand and placed a stack of index cards onto the table. The three of them looked at each other, and another round of laughter between them ensued.

"You nervous?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm nervous." A.J. snapped at Kevin, as he paced the room." I'm about to tell my best friend's and people that I have to live with day in and day out, that I'm gay!!! Do you realize what's gonna happen if even one of them doesn't take it well? It'll all be OVER!!!" A.J. said in frustration. "I need a cigarette." He added, as he sat down on the couch and lit up.

"I wish you'd stop smoking those. I told you they'll kill you."

"Good." A.J. answered and blew the smoke directly at Kevin, who just shrugged and laughed.

"It'll be fine, A.J. I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous and scared before. I kinda like it. The tough guy turned vulnerable." Kevin said with a smile.

"I'm glad my problems amuse you...you sick bastard!"

Kevin pursed his lips and made a kissing noise and said, "I love you too Dear." That comment broke the nervous tension in the air, which helped to relax A.J.

"It'll be fine...you know. You'll tell them, and everything will be fine." Kevin said confidently.

"I'm glad you're so sure about that, cause I'm not. You can afford it though...you don't have to live with this." A.J. said, as he threw his hands up in frustration.

"I know, but look at it this way. I'm fine with it, and you know at least Nick will be fine with it. Just look on the bright side."

"The bright side? What bright side? If anything, this will just cause problems. All this time we've been thinking Nick's gay, and part of the reason why I want to do this IS to help him, but what if we were wrong? What if he was just experimenting that night I saw him kiss that guy, or what if he was just really drunk? What then? Then this would've all been for nothing. Not to mention Brian and Howie. I don't even want to think about how well they're gonna take this. What if..."

"Alright...STOP." Kevin interrupted A.J. "You know how much I hate playing the 'What If' game."

"That's funny. It seems to me you do it all the time."

"I only do it when it comes to the group, cause you know just as well as I do, image is everything when we're 'The BackStreet Boys.'" Kevin said, and made mock quotation marks with his fingers when he mentioned the group's name. "You know I don't play that game when it comes to my life. One...There's too many variables, and Two...No matter what, you always lose."

A.J. thought to himself for a few moments, and reluctantly agreed with Kevin. "I just hate brining attention to myself." A.J. said.

"Well, that's a first." Kevin smiled. "No matter what, you're doing this for yourself, and not for Nick, Brian, Howie, or even me. Helping Nick will only be secondary to you coming out. The others will deal with it...This is all you."

"Fine. You're right. This is all for me." A.J. repeated as he tried to convince himself that he was making the right decision.

"No...I still say you should go with a grand finale. You sure you don't want me to hold up a big rainbow flag behind you and hum 'Somewhere over the Rainbow?'" Ewan asked, trying to suppress his laughter. "You could do a cartwheel and a split while holding sparklers too if you want." Ewan continued, but this time bursting out into a laughing fit.

"I hate you!!!" Nick said, laughing at Ewan's comment. "I want to come out to them, not freak them out."

"Alright. It was just a suggestion."

"A stupid one, if you ask me." Jim commented from where he sat on the bed.

"Ah...but you weren't asked!!!" Ewan retorted, followed by a smile. Jim returned the smile, and added to it his middle finger.

"Why James..." Ewan started in a mock Southern Belle accent, "I'd love to, but you know I'm not that kind of a guy, but our lil' Nicky over there..." Ewan trailed off, and nodded his head towards Nick.

"Ewwww...Whatever...you guys are way too much." Nick commented.

"It's his fault." Jim said, "I can't help myself. It's what happens when you live with a crackhead!!!"

"Hey...those charges were dropped!!!"

"Alright...Alright." Nick said, trying to calm everyone from the laughter that followed Ewan's comment. "We only have fifteen minutes left, and I want to go over what I'm gonna say one last time, before the meeting."

"Um...okay, but it'll just have to be Jim on this run. I need to go see Brian for a sec." Ewan said, as he started walking towards the door.

"Wait!!! What are you going to see Brian for?" Nick asked questioningly, with a pensive look on his face.

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna say anything." Ewan said in response to the look Nick had given him. "You should know better."

Nick blushed as his face grew into a guilty frown, just as Ewan walked out of the room.

Jim immediately took note of the sudden change in Nick's demeanor, and decided to speak before Nick had a chance to beat himself up over Ewan's last comment.

"So...I think what you have is fine." Jim said, as he stood from the bed. "It'll be fine." He added, as he placed his hands on Nick's shoulders. "So, you ready to do this JAKE?"

Nick froze at Jim's touch, and immediately tensed further after hearing his pseudonym. They hadn't directly confronted, or spoke about their last encounter in New York City, until now. Nick knew the time would come when they would have to talk about it, but he didn't expect them to have the conversation now. Nick had no other choice but to acknowledge their previous night together.

"You noticed, huh?" Nick sheepishly asked, as Jim started to massage his shoulders in an attempt to relax him.

"Yeah. It's kinda hard not to." Jim said, followed by a tension filled silence. "You know what?" He pressed further.

"What?" Nick managed to croak out like a pre-pubescent boy.

"Ewan was right about you." Jim said, as his massaging turned more sensuous, and moved from Nick's shoulders to his upper back.

Nick grew nervous under his touch. His heart raced, and he could feel little beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Right about me?" Nick asked, his voice cracking once more.

Jim's hands moved along Nick's spine and down his back. Nick grew even more uncomfortable when his body reacted to Jim's sensual massage. The empty space between Nick and his jeans was suddenly filled. He silently cursed himself for wearing tight jeans today.

Jim moved his head towards Nick's and stopped when his lips were right next to his ear. "Ewan was right about you..." Jim seductively whispered. "About you avoiding things." Jim said, as he quickly withdrew his hands from Nick's back, and slapped him upside his head, causing Nick to return to reality.

Nick winced at the sudden jolt, but then heard Jim's laughter, after realizing what had just transpired.

"I HATE YOU!!!" Nick said, smiling with contempt. "You and Ewan deserve each other!!!" He said, but was only greeted with more laughter.

"I'm sorry...It was just way too easy to pass up."

"God...I thought you were trying to hit on me." Nick said, as a feeling of relief flowed over his body.

"You know I only have eyes for one guy, and I know you do too. Nice choice by the way. Brian's a great guy...nice ass too. He even tried to convince me to tell Ewan."

"Brian knows?"

"Yeah. He's just so easy to talk to. There's something about him that says you can trust him with anything."

"Yup." Nick said with a smile. "That's one of the things I love about him."

"Really? I can see that."

"It's in his eyes, I think. It's in the way he looks at you that makes talking to him so easy. He's a good listener too."

Jim sat on the desk and watched, as Nick talked about Brian. He could see a change in Nick when he thought about Brian. A glow seemed to emanate from him. Just watching Nick's smile linger and eyes glaze over told Jim that Nick was deeply in love. He wondered if his body betrayed his own feelings, just as Nick's did, whenever he talked about, or thought of Ewan.

"So what did Brian say when you told him?"

"He said enough." Jim said with a smirk, knowing full well Nick was dying to find out what Brian had said.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, but not now. We will talk about it later though. Right now, you have a speech to practice." Jim said, as he indicated the note cards in Nick's hands.

Ewan walked up to Brian's door and knocked. He stuck his hands into his pockets, feeling nervous. He silently wondered if what he was about to do was the right thing. He was still wrestling with the fact that he wasn't sure if it was his business to tell Brian of Nick's feelings for him. In fact, in many ways, he knew he was wrong in doing that, but he justified his decision with the fact that he couldn't bear to see Nick hurt...especially not after all he's gone through.

Ewan ran his fingers across the letter that was in his pocket. His heart raced, and his mind was pounding loudly. He took a deep breath as he pulled his hand out to knock once again.

Ewan stood at the door, waiting for an answer, but Brian never came. He reached his hand out and tried the doorknob, it turned, and Ewan heard a click. As he began to open the door, he called Brian's name again. When he didn't receive an answer, Ewan let himself in. Once inside, he called Brian's name again, and searched the entire room and the bathroom, but still he was nowhere to be found. He breathed a sigh of relief, as his nervousness passed.

He pulled out the letter he had composed the night before, and began to search the room for a good place to put it. Ewan spotted Brian's open suitcase and decided to place the letter on top of Brian's clothes, knowing for certain that he'd surely find it there. After his mission was complete, Ewan checked his watch and saw that it was time.

"...I didn't chose to be this way, but it's a big part of who I am now...I guess...who I really have been all this time. I'm gay." Nick said, and then looked up from the note cards he was holding, at Jim. "How was that?"

"It was fine. Just like the other times you ran through the speech." Jim joked. "You'll do fine, and I'm sure they'll all be okay with it. After all, they are your best friends, right?"

"More that that...they're family."

"Even better then." Jim said, and gave Nick a smile of encouragement.

"Yeah." Nick reluctantly agreed. "I guess that's what makes this even harder. They're so close to me. I can't help but think that I'll only be disappointing them by doing this."

"By doing what? Being yourself? I think you don't give your friends enough credit sometimes. They're your friends because they love you for who you are, and if being gay is a part of that, then they'll accept it. It may take time, but I know eventually they will."

Nick listened to Jim's words and closed his eyes. He thought to himself how what he was about to do could change his relationship with some of the other guys, maybe even all of them. He wondered why it felt so hard to be himself all of a sudden. He clenched his fists and shut his eyes tight, as he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Jim saw how Nick was about to cry and walked over to comfort him.

Jim gently placed his arms around Nick and pulled him close. "Save your tears for after you tell them. You'll be crying hard from the relief that they took it well. You need to get through this, but if you get scared while you're telling them, just picture all of them in their underwear." Jim said, trying to ease Nick.

A small laugh escaped Nick's lips, and he sighed in relief as he hugged Jim back.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now you better get going, or you'll be late. I'll be right here when you get back if you need me." Jim said, as they parted. He walked Nick to the door and opened it.

"Alright...Wish me luck..."

"Good luck, and remember...if you get nervous, just do what I told you to do." Jim said, causing Nick to laugh.

"I will." Nick said, as he turned around to walk down the hall towards Kevin's room.

When he reached Kevin's room, Nick quickly knocked and looked back at Jim, who was giving him the "thumb's up" sign from down the hall. Nick chuckled to himself, and smiled back. He reached out for the doorknob, turned it, and walked inside.

Once inside, he looked around the room and found that everyone was already present and accounted for, and were just waiting for him. As he walked further into the room, everyone's eyes were focused on him, as Nick suddenly was faced with a bought of self-consciousness.

'Do they know?' Nick asked himself.

From across the room, Ewan sensed Nick's nervousness, and approached him. He pulled Nick aside and into the kitchen area of Kevin's suite to talk to him. Everyone else returned to their conversations as Ewan and Nick disappeared into the other room.

Kevin and A.J. were standing away from Howie and Brian who were having a conversation of their own. A.J. was fighting the same battle Nick was, and Kevin was there for him, just as his Ewan was there for Nick.

"You ready to do this?"

"I don't know Kev. You sure this is the right thing to do?"

"I think so, but this is your decision."

"I don't know if I can go through with this. Look at me!!! I haven't been this nervous since our first show."

"Just take a deep breath, and stop thinking about it already. Everything will be fine. I promise you." Kevin said, and gave A.J. an understanding smile.

"I feel like I'm gonna puke." A.J. exclaimed, as he reached into his pocket for his cigarettes. He pulled out the pack and realized it was empty. He crumpled the empty box in frustration, and audibly groaned his disappointment, causing Brian and Howie to look over in curiosity.

"Sorry...I'm out of smokes." A.J. said, as his face turned a deep shade of crimson.

"Why don't you ask Nick if you can bum one from him?" Brian absentmindedly said, and then immediately looked at his cousin, who stood there with a confused/disapproving look on his face, after realizing what he had just said.

"Why's Nick smoking?" Kevin asked, as Howie and A.J. now turned their attention to the two cousins.

Brian cursed himself for saying anything at all. "I don't know. I just saw a pack in his bag. Maybe it's not even his. Maybe, he was holding it for Ewan."

Kevin glared at Brian, causing him to uncomfortably shift in his seat.

Suddenly the four of them were distracted when they heard Ewan and Nick walk back into the room.

"Nick..." Kevin started to say, but was interrupted by Brian.

"Hey A.J., why'd you want to have a meeting?" Brian said, which caught everyone off guard, as they were expecting Kevin to blow up at Nick.

"What?" A.J. began to say, as his attention shifted from Kevin to Brian.

"Actually..." Nick jumped in, when Ewan poked him in the side. Now everyone's eyes were directed at him.

"Actually..." Nick started again, but stopped when the words wouldn't form on his lips. He shut his eyes and swallowed hard, in a vain attempt to hydrate his parched throat. He could feel and hear his heart pound furiously in his chest.

"Actually...I was wondering..." Nick said, as he opened his eyes. "I was wondering if I could talk..." He continued, and nervously ran his hand through his long blonde hair. "I was wondering if I could talk to you guys before we start. If it's cool with A.J. that is." Nick finally managed to say in one breath.

"Huh?" A.J. said as he was caught of guard once again. Any hopes of his that this would go smoothly were shot down by now, so he decided to go with the flow. At least if Nick were to take the floor first, it'd give him time to regroup. He quickly looked to Kevin for some help.

"Uh, Yeah, go ahead Nick." Kevin answered for A.J.

"Um...Okay." Nick said, as he felt Ewan place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. Nick looked at Ewan, who stood next to him, and saw him mouth the words "Good Luck," before he moved into the room and took a seat next to Brian.

Everyone's eyes were directed at Nick, and as he looked around, he felt his heart race even more, his breath shorten, and sweat form, but those were all physical. What pained Nick the most was the emotional. As he looked around the room, and his eyes passed over each on of his friends, thoughts of how much he loved them, and how much he'd hurt if even one of them broke off their friendship from what he was about to say, consumed him.

He looked at Howie who watched him with expectant eyes. They had just recently begun to grow closer, having late night talks on the bus and dinners in hotel room, when everyone else was off doing their own thing. It hurt him to think that he'd lose their newfound closeness because he felt the need to reveal to him who he really was.

Nick looked over to A.J. who had a slightly pensive look on his face. 'A.J.'s always the cool one.' Nick thought to himself. He wondered whether he'd be "cool" with what he was about to say. He thought about how close they were when they first started out to form the group...before Brian. He wondered if their long-time friendship could withstand this.

From A.J., Nick turned to Kevin. As much as he always thought Kevin was overbearing, Nick loved him almost as much as he knew he loved Brian. Kevin was his definitive older brother. Nick sought perfection not for himself, but for Kevin. When he was younger, he longed to be like him...like his eldest brother. He followed him around and emulated his actions. As he grew older, he wanted nothing more than just Kevin's approval, but somehow that goal became more and more difficult to achieve as Nick grew older. A simple smile would suffice, or a nod of approval at something he had done would put a smile on Nick's face. He tried to hide this need, but deep down inside, he was hurting whenever Kevin disapproved of his actions. Nick thought how telling Kevin that he was gay would be just another hurdle in his quest for Kevin's approval. Nick knew he'd be disappointed.

Nick locked eyes with Ewan next. He was the only one who knew his secret, and up until now, the only one he could turn to. He was the rock in their friendship. Because of him, their bond never wavered. Nick knew he would always be able to count on Ewan for support, just as he was now, but he wasn't the one who he'd have to live with, tour with, or work with. Nick knew that he wouldn't see Ewan after they left Michigan. Ewan gave him a slight smile of encouragement, which Nick only half-heartedly returned.

His eyes fell on Brian next. Brian was his best friend. Nick loved him deeply. In a way, Nick thought, his disclosure would bring him one step closer to Brian. That was part of the reason why he was doing this. Nick knew their friendship could not evolve to the next level until Brian knew about him being gay. He could only hope that his confession would serve to bring them closer, and not tear them apart. He looked deep into Brian's eyes, which always registered concern for Nick. That concern was there now, causing him to furrow his brows together in bewilderment. He hoped that soon he could ease his love's mind when he finally told him everything.

"...Nick...Nick..." Kevin said from across the room.

"Wha...huh???"

"I said you could start whenever you want. Are you okay?"

"Um. Yeah. Sorry, I zoned out for a sec." Nick said, as the color rushed to leave his body. He knew that the time had come. He needed to do this now, before he lost his nerve.

He pulled out the index cards from his back pocket. He stared at the carefully prepared cards and at his neat handwriting. Usually, you weren't able to read anything he wrote, but this time he took care in making sure each letter, of each word, of each sentence was crystal clear. He didn't want to risk losing his train of thought for something as important as this.

This was one thing he didn't want to leave to chance.

Nick raised his head and cleared his throat. His right hand impulsively ran through his hair, trying to clear it from his face. He tucked his long blonde hair behind his ear, and began to speak.

"Guys..." Nick said, but his dry throat caused his words to come out in a hoarse whisper. He swallowed hard, attempting to whet his parched vocal cords, before he began again.

"Guys...I need to tell you something." Nick finally said, and looked up to see if there was any reaction. He saw each face in the room focus solely on him, and had noticed Kevin's brows grow closer to each other, matching the expression on his cousin's face. Everyone awaited the words to come from Nick's lips. He returned his gaze back to the cards in front of him and began again.

"This is very difficult for me to say, so I need you guys to listen before you say anything." Nick managed to say before his throat dried up again. He began to shift from where he stood out of nervousness. "A while ago, I realized something about myself." Nick managed before he broke out into a cold sweat. He gripped hard onto the cards in front of him, and noticed that his hands had turned pale.

"It took a long time..." Nick said, followed by a pause. "It took a long time for me to realize and even accept this about myself." Nick said, and closed his eyes, as if in thought.

A.J. looked over towards Kevin, who was standing with his arms crossed, intently watching Nick. A.J. moved closer, until he was within earshot of Kevin. "What's he doing?" A.J. asked. Kevin turned around and looked directly into his eyes. For the first time, A.J. saw panic in Kevin's eyes. He could tell Kevin also felt the same heightened state of confusion that he, and probably everyone else in the room, felt. He could see the fear in Kevin's eyes as he knew this was something he wasn't in control of, but most of all, A.J. noticed the pain Kevin was experiencing. He couldn't be there for Nick, who was obviously struggling, and A.J. knew Kevin hurt like hell because of it. Their gaze broke when they heard Nick speak again.

"This isn't something that I chose, or think I even wanted. I just have to deal with it. It's just the way things turned out, and it's just who I am..."

Ewan watched Nick, and could sense that he was nearing his breaking point. He knew what part of the speech came next, and he had to admit that he himself was scared. All that was left was for Nick to say the words.

Ewan involuntarily turned towards Brian, and was shocked to meet his eyes. Brian silently asked him what was going on, but all he could do was shrug his shoulders. He sank further into his seat, and clutched his hands into tight fists. He felt the nervous sweat form on his forehead as he wiped it away.

"What I am..." Nick said, as his heart began to pound. He looked down at the words he had written earlier, as they suddenly began to blur. This threw him into a further panic, causing him to quickly close his eyes. He opened them, only to find that none of the writing made any sense. He began to nervously shake, forcing him to clutch down harder onto the cards, trying to steady them.

"Who I am...No...What I am..." Nick said, but had to pause once more. The shaking grew even more violent, and his teeth began to chatter, as if he was suddenly stricken by a gust of cold air. He could feel the cards begin to slip away from his hands. The more he tried to control his body's reaction, the more the cards slipped, until suddenly they flew into the air in a flurry, and fluttered to the ground.

"Fuck!!!" Nick cried out, as he quickly fell to his knees, fervently trying to gather them. He tried to control his emotions, but he knew tears would soon follow. He shot his head up, and looked to Ewan for help.

Ewan watched the chaos before him, but suddenly was drawn into Nick's gaze. His best friend cried out to him silently from across the room, for help. He was caught off guard and began to panic. His heart began to furiously pound in his chest, as his instincts took over.

"Everyone." Ewan said, as he shot out of his seat next to Brian. Suddenly, all eyes were on him. He looked from the others to Nick, who was still on the floor, holding his note cards in confusion.

"Everyone..." Ewan said as he turned to face the others. He searched his brain for the right words to say, but drew a blank. He started to feel light headed, and he noticed his vision begin to tunnel. He could feel the rivulets of perspiration form on his upper lip as he began to speak.

"Everyone...Nick's gay." Were the words that finally formed and came out of his mouth.

"EWAN!!!" Kevin immediately shouted out of shock and confusion.

"What'd you say?" Howie followed, as everyone still stared at him.

Nick watched as his friends questioned and silently interrogated Ewan with their stares. He never imagined it going this way, but it was what he was given. Nick had to deal with it.

"He said I was gay...and...he's right. I am." Nick finally spoke out into the room causing everyone to turn to him in silence. He felt the burden of their questions and emotions as they bore into him with their eyes. Nick all of a sudden felt small underneath their gaze. "I'm sorry."

There was a moment of confusion and hesitation as Nick's announcement implanted itself within their minds. Ewan quietly looked towards Kevin now for some help. He could tell from the look on his face that Kevin was trying to sort out what had just happened, and searching for a plan to go forward.

For the first time ever, Ewan questioned whether Kevin was going to come through on this matter or not. He began to worry as more and more time passed between them in silence. Not sensing some sort of resolution anytime soon from the others who were still laden in shock, Ewan decided to take over.

"My name is Ewan...and I'm gay too." Ewan said, drawing everyone's attention, as he walked over to Nick and put his arm around him. Nick shook his head in disbelief, knowing Ewan always had a joke in store to ease the tension. It was his own defense mechanism, and Nick was glad that it was there at the moment.

"You guys aren't together are you?" Howie finally said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Ew...God NO!!! I'm not even gay...and if I was...I'd have better taste than to hook up with Nicky. Kevin...maybe...but Nicky..." Ewan joked once again, this time causing everyone to laugh or at least smile.

"So guys...Nick's gay...what are we gonna tell all the screaming teenage girls?" Ewan asked.

"I don't know, but we're definitely going to make our teenage boy fans happy." Howie joked once again, this time causing everyone to laugh at the image. Even Nick gave in to a slight smile.

After another poignant silence, Nick brought up the nerve to speak. "So...uh...are you guys okay with this?"

"Of course they are." Ewan answered. "I even think I saw Brian giving you the eye." Ewan joked, causing Brian to blush. "But seriously though...we're all okay with this aren't we?"

"Yeah...I'm cool." Howie was quick to answer. "And it does explain a few things." He mischievously added.

"What?" Nick questioned, as everyone looked between Howie and Nick.

"I saw that picture you hide of Justin Timberlake under your bed." Howie said with a smile.

"That's not Justin, that's..." Nick defended himself, and realized that he incriminated himself even more. "Oh shit." Nick said, causing everyone to laugh.

"Don't worry Nicky, you're secrets safe with us. What about you guys?" Ewan said as he looked over to the remaining three.

A.J. looked over towards Kevin, sharing a look saying that this was an interesting turn of events, before looking back towards Nick. "I'm cool." A.J. simply answered.

"Yeah...me too. You're still the same Nick...the same pain in my ass." Kevin said trying to comfort him.

All of a sudden, Ewan, Nick and A.J. started to giggle at Kevin's answer. When he couldn't contain himself any longer, Ewan burst out into a full-fledged laughing fit.

"What?" Kevin asked. "What did I say?"

Nick just shook his head as A.J. said, "Just think about it Kev." After some thought, Kevin finally understood what they were thinking of when he said "pain in the ass."

"You guys are so sick. I didn't mean it that way."

"Sure ya didn't Kev." Ewan said, antagonizing him further. All of them sighed a sigh of relief as they calmed down from the shock.

There was another silence, as everyone settled down.

"Bri?" Nick said, quietly. "Are you okay with this, Frick?" He asked, as once again his heart raced and his mind went into overdrive. He was the only one who hadn't said anything yet.

Everyone looked towards the two of them, as Brian sat there and Nick watched. Kevin once again felt a pain in his heart. In all the commotion, he didn't realize that the one person closest to Nick may be the one who'd have the biggest problem with this. He looked over towards Nick who was now staring at his best friend with an anxious look on his face. This was another one of those moments Kevin wished he could take away Nick's pain. He couldn't though, and so he stood there along with the others, watching the two.

Time seemed to stand still for them. At that moment, to the both of them, nothing else mattered in the world except for their friendship. Brian looked intently into Nick's eyes and knew the pain that he felt. All of a sudden, he realized that through this, their friendship would grow both deeper and stronger. What they shared was on a whole new level for the both of them, but something held Brian back.

"Yeah...Of course I'm okay with it Frack. There's not that many things you could say to get rid of me..." Brian joked, but sadness lingered in his eyes. "Is this what was bothering you all this time?"

Nick looked directly into Brian's eyes and found comfort there. He shook his head in the affirmative, knowing he couldn't keep anything from Brian.

"Oh." Brian simply answered. "You could've just told me ya know?" Brian said, a hint of hurt in his words.

Nick was about to answer, when Kevin jumped in.

"Well...the point is that we all know now...and Nick...Brian's right. You know you could tell us anything, right?"

"Yeah...I know." Nick responded sullenly.

Ewan looked between his two closest friends and knew that there was still something off, but his thoughts were cut off when Howie spoke.

"Hey, A.J. Isn't there something you wanted to say too?" Howie asked.

"What?"

"The group meeting...you called it didn't you?" Everyone turned towards A.J. now, as they all realized that he was the one who did call the meeting in the first place.

A.J. swallowed hard as everyone's attention was on him.

"Uh...um..." A.J. answered as his gaze went from the floor to Kevin. He didn't find an answer there, only sympathetic eyes. He knew what Kevin was waiting for, but something held him back. "Uh...I think it can wait." A.J. said, as his he forced himself to look at everyone.

"You sure?" Howie asked.

"Yeah...It wasn't that important." A.J. said, as he looked towards the ground.

"Alright then. If anyone needs me...or feels the need to 'come out,'" Howie joked. "I'll be in my room." He said, as he stood up and walked towards the door. "Oh...hey Ewe, we're still on for tonight, right?"

"Hells yeah!!!" Ewan said excitedly. "It's only once a year that we can celebrate how important the day I was born is."

"Whatever." Kevin answered with a smile. "Are you guys gonna head back to your place?"

"Yeah." Ewan answered.

"Cool. We'll be there around eight then to pick you guys up."

"Excellent. You guys ready? We should head back." Ewan asked Brian and Nick.

"Yeah. I just have to grab some stuff from my room." Brian answered.

"Alright. I'll head over with you. Nick, why don't you go grab your stuff and see if Jim's ready."

"K." Nick simply answered, still sensing that things between Brian and him were left unsettled.

Seeing this, Ewan walked over towards Nick and whispered something in his ear. Nick quietly thanked him, as they headed out the door with Howie and Brian.

"You wanna talk?"

"No." Brian answered, as he looked around the room for his backpack.

"Okay."

"Is that it? You're not gonna try and make me talk?"

"You said you didn't want to."

"What if I just said that, but really wanted to?"

"Okay...so you wanna talk?"

"No." Brian answered once again.

Ewan sighed in frustration, wondering why he was always in this position. His thoughts were interrupted when Brian spoke again.

"Where's my frickin' backpack? I can't find my frickin' backpack." He said as he searched the room in vain.

"It's over there Bri." Ewan answered, pointing to the table.

"Oh."

"C'mon B. You know something's bothering you and I know that you're not gonna be okay till you talk about it."

Brian knew he was right, and groaned in frustration. He pulled out the chair from the desk and slumped down. "Why couldn't he just tell me? We're supposed to be best friends aren't we?"

"Of course you guys are. You don't even need to question that. You've got to understand that for Nick, this is something big. It's not something you can easily just tell people, especially those who are closest to you."

"But he told you didn't he?" Brian remarked snidely.

"Yeah, and it was thanks to you that he did. You should be happy that he got to talk to someone before he let this eat him up so bad that he did something stupid." Ewan said, causing Brian to jerk to attention.

"He wasn't..." Brian started, but couldn't even say the words. He never thought of Nick's situation in that way.

"No, but I've heard of a lot of people who have cause they didn't have anyone to turn to. Nick's lucky. He has you guys. Besides, he didn't really even tell me. He made me read it."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. I'll tell you later. My point is; you shouldn't be upset that he didn't tell you guys right away. He was worried."

"But he had nothing to worry about. What did he think we were going to do? Kick him out of the group? Each of us are more important to each other than this stupid group."

"Then tell him that. Better yet, show him that, Bri. He needs you now more than ever."

"Why? He has you." Brian retorted snidely.

"Yeah, but that's only cause I'm here right now. I'm not always gonna be there for him. That's when you guys come in...especially you." Ewan said, but still knowing that Brian wasn't satisfied. "And besides, you should look at this way. Nick thought you guys more important to not tell you. Can't you see that he was afraid to lose you guys...especially his best friend."

"Then why did he tell you?"

"Cause I was the obvious choice. If you think about it, Nick probably thought that if he told me, and I freaked out, it wouldn't be that bad. He wouldn't have to face me everyday, making it easier for him. It's easier for him to lose a friend who's hardly ever around."

"Don't say that. You're just as important to all of us as any one of us, especially to Nick."

"Thanks, Bri, but do you see my point? He cares too much about you guys that he was willing to destroy himself rather than hurt anyone of you."

"Stop saying that!!!" Brian blurted out, disturbed at the thought of Nick killing himself because he was gay.

"Alright, but do you know what I mean now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Brian said, still unconvinced.

"Just think about this then. After this weekend, you guys are the only ones Nick's gonna have to turn to...especially you."

"You'll still be there."

"Yeah, but through a phone or through e-mail. It's not the same as having someone actually BE there for you. You'll be there for him. You'll be there for things like when he thinks someone's cute, and when he falls in love for the first time, or when he gets his heart broken. That's when he's gonna need you most, Bri."

Ewan knew he had finally managed to get through to Brian, because he saw his face soften a bit. They sat in silence as Brian took some time to mull over Ewan's words.

"Hey...You okay now?"

"Yeah. Just got a little frustrated, I guess. Pretty stupid of me huh?" Brian said as he stood from the chair.

"It's cool. It happens to the best of us. If it makes you feel any better, I know that if our roles were reversed, I'd feel the same way." Ewan said, as he stood up and walked towards Brian. He put his arms out and brought his friend into a much-needed hug.

"You ready to go now?"

"Yeah. Let's head out." Brian said, as he put on his backpack and followed Ewan to the door. "Hey Ewe?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks for being there for Nick...and for me."

"No prob. Just doing my job." Ewan said with a smile.

"I'm not sure if I'd know what to do without you, sometimes. And don't think that Nick, or anyone of us, think you're less important and that you're dispensable. I know Nick would be devastated if he lost you. I would be."

"Thanks B," Ewan said with a smile, "but I KNOW Nick likes you more. He thinks you're cuter." He added with a sigh, pretending to be hurt. He looked back towards Brian who stood still with his mouth open.

"Don't even say it." A.J. said from where he lay on Kevin's bed.

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Yeah. Whatever."

A.J. laid there, staring at the ceiling, awaiting Kevin's response. Kevin never let anything go until he got the final word in. As the minutes ticked by, A.J. still found himself in silence. He thought this was odd behavior for Kevin, so he sat up to see if he was still even in the room. He found Kevin standing by the curtains, with his arms folded across his chest, staring out the window.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Just stuff...about everyone...Nick...You."

"Oh." A.J. said puzzled, as he gazed over Kevin. He knew what he was thinking about. A.J. wondered when Kevin would finally talk about the times when he felt this way.

"He was so scared, A.J."

"Yeah, I know."

"Why? You know, there was a time when he would just tell me when something was bothering him...He doesn't do that anymore." Kevin said, still not looking at A.J.

"It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you anymore, Kev."

"I never said any..." Kevin tried to say, but was cut off.

"I know, but that's what you were thinking." A.J. said, as he watched Kevin exhale and slump over in defeat.

"He couldn't even tell us...tell me...even Brian, and they're almost inseparable. On top of that, I couldn't even do anything...I didn't do anything. All I could do was watch as he almost died trying to get it out."

"You gotta stop blaming yourself, Kev. You know this is something you can't just say. It takes time. Hell, if you hadn't come in when you did with me..." A.J. trailed off.

Kevin suddenly turned from what he was staring at outside of the window and looked at A.J. who was struggling not to allow his emotions overcome him.

"You're doing the best you can with him." A.J. said, as he looked away. "...and with me."

Kevin felt a lump form in his throat and had to swallow hard as he still looked at A.J. He was amazed at how serious he could be when it counted. Just like his personality, he was unpredictable as ever.

"And I know you're hurting, Kev. You can't hide it from me. I saw the way you were looking at him." A.J. said into the silence, trying to change the subject. "You should just talk to him. I don't get why you don't or won't. He loves you, Kev, just as much as you love him, even though you two hardly ever show it."

Kevin was once again amazed at A.J. He walked over to the edge of the bed where A.J. was, and sat down next to him. "Thanks." Kevin responded, as they sat in silence once again. "What about you?" He said, breaking the quiet.

"What about me?" A.J. asked.

"You okay?"

"I guess. I'm happy for Nick though. It must be a relief." A.J. knew Kevin was fighting the urge to say something. "Just ask."

"Why didn't you do it? Everyone is okay with Nick being gay, and it would be the same way with you."

"I know, but I just couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

"It was Nick's time to come out...not mine. He deserved to be the only one in the spotlight."

"I don't think that was much of a spotlight, let alone one that he wanted to be in."

"I know...but you know what I mean. Nick needed to do that for himself. He needed to know that everyone was okay with him, and only him, being the 'gay' one. He needs that assurance from everyone, if he's gonna be okay with this." A.J. said, not sure if he was making sense.

"I guess, but what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I can deal. Waiting a little bit more before I tell everyone won't kill me."

Kevin shook his head, amazed at A.J.'s ability to constantly surprise him. He put his arm around A.J's shoulders, letting him know that he'd always be there for him, as A.J. buried his head in Kevin's chest.

"Hey...How'd it go?"

"Alright, I guess. Better than I expected." Nick said to Jim, as he walked into his room. He took a seat across form Jim, who sat on the bed.

"Do you always think so pessimistically?"

"Pretty much. That way I don't get too disappointed."

"You're some piece of work. Do you know that?"

"I think I've been told that once or twice." Nick said with a smirk.

"So what'd they say when you told them?"

"I didn't exactly tell them."

"Come again?"

"I didn't tell them. Ewan did it for me."

"Ewan? What did he do this time?"

"It wasn't his fault, really. I was so nervous...and the cards flew out of my hand. I panicked...he panicked, and then the next thing I knew, he told everyone for me."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine...I think. I just hate thinking that I crumbled under pressure."

"Trust me. I don't think you did. Coming out for the first time to everyone ain't easy. As long as they all know, and are okay with it, it's all good." Jim said, as he looked at Nick who was staring intently at the floor. "They are okay with it, right???"

"I guess."

"You gotta learn to stop beating yourself up. Just think about the good things. This is one hurdle down. You just have to prep yourself for the next one."

"One that I'm not looking forward to." Nick said, as they fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"How did he take it?" Jim said, finally asking the question he'd been wondering about most.

"He took it alright. He only said that he wished I could've told him."

"That's an understandable answer from your best friend." Jim said as Nick stared off into the distance.

Nick wondered if he handled the situation the right way. He could understand how Brian could be upset at him for keeping this from him. Nick silently wondered why he couldn't just catch a break for once. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. That was just how his life went.

"Can I ask you something?" Nick broke the silence.

"Yeah...Sure."

"What did you and Brian talk about last night?"

"We talked about a lot of stuff. I asked him about you guys being friends, and the BackStreet Boys, Ewan. You know...standard stuff."

"So he knows about you and Ewan?"

"Me and Ewan? There is no 'ME and EWAN.'"

"Not yet there isn't." Nick said, as another thoughtful silence came between them.

"What about you and Bri..." Jim started to say as they heard a knock at the door.

"I think someone doesn't want us talking about this." Nick said exasperated. "It's probably them."

"We'll talk about it. Don't worry. You're not getting off that easily."

"If memory serves me right...YOU were the one who 'got off.' Not me." Nick joked causing Jim to blush. He walked to the door and opened it, finding Brian and Ewan standing there.

"You two ready?" Ewan asked.

"Yeah, c'mon in."

"We're not interrupting anything are we? I figured 5 minutes was enough for the Minute Man over there." Ewan said, pointing at Jim.

"We were just talking. Does your mind ever leave that gutter it's in?" Nick asked, as he rummaged through his backpack, checking to see if he had everything he needed for the party that night.

"When the thought revolves around Jim...NEVER."

"See. I knew all of your thoughts revolved around me." Jim said with a smile, as he exchanged a knowing look with Brian, causing him to turn away and smile. "I knew you were in love with me...Just admit it. I'm irresistible."

"In your dreams."

"Yup. You're in my dreams, but I distinctly remember you with less clothing on."

"Perv."

"Prude."

"Slut."

"Virgin Queen."

"I'm ready." Nick said, interrupting their friendly banter. He walked over to where Brian stood and began to usher him out of the door. "Let's get out of here before these two start killing each other...or making out. Either way, I don't want to see it."

"Hey. We do this out of love." Ewan commented.

"Speak for yourself. I genuinely despise you." Jim countered and slapped Ewan in the back of the head before he ran past Brian and Nick, down the hall.

"I'll get you for that one jackass!!!"

"C'mon, tell me. What'd you get him?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll see when he opens it."

"Fine." A.J. said, and turned to Kevin.

"I'm not telling you either." Kevin said, just as A.J. opened his mouth to speak.

"Fine. I know my gift's better anyways."

"No it's not. It never is. Just face it J, you give sucky gifts." Howie said, causing Kevin to laugh.

"No I don't. I know I've given some off the wall gifts before, but I'm not a bad gift giver."

"Yes you are. Just admit it. Remember what you gave Nicky on his fourteenth birthday?" Howie asked.

"Oh, COME ON!!! That was a long time ago. I've gotten better."

"Alright...What about what you gave me this past Christmas?" Kevin asked.

"No...that was a mistake too. I honestly thought you had a cat."

"In all the time you've known me, I've never owned a cat." Kevin said, causing Howie to laugh.

"Alright...Fine...but all that's in the past. I guarantee Ewan's gonna love what I got him." A.J. proudly said with a smile.

"We'll see." Howie confidently answered, as the limousine came to a stop. A few minutes later, laughter could be heard as Nick, Brian, Ewan, and Jim stepped into the limousine.

"Looks like someone started the party without us."

"I tried to stop 'em Kev, but they made me do it." Ewan said, causing everyone to laugh.

"Oh yeah...we just happened to make you take those shots." Nick said.

"You did. You told me they were my birthday shots. I didn't want to be rude and not take them." Ewan giggled out as he tried to reason his thinking.

"Well...we're just going to have to catch up then old man." A.J. said, as he reached into the bar for the bottle of vodka. "Brian, pass out the shot glasses."

"Yes, Sir."

A.J. poured the clear liquid into everyone's glass. After each glass was filled, he put down the bottle and raised his glass.

"To Ewan!!!" A.J. proudly exclaimed.

"To Ewan."

"...Happy Birthday dear Ewan...Happy Birthday to you!!!" The entire club chorused as it was filled to capacity with Ewan's acquaintances, Fraternity Brothers and best friends.

"Make a wish!!!" Someone yelled out.

Ewan closed his eyes as if he was in deep thought, and smiled. He opened them once again, leaned in, and blew out the burning candles before him. When the last flame was extinguished, the club broke into thunderous applause. Ewan turned to the people who surrounded him and thanked them for their well wishes.

"Speech...Speech...Speech..." Someone yelled out, causing the entire crowd to join in the chant.

With his hands, Ewan motioned for the crowd to quiet down. Someone placed a chair behind him and urged him to stand on top of it, and address the crowd. Ewan stood on the chair so that he could be seen by all of his friends.

"I just wanted to thank everyone for coming out tonight. It means a great deal to me to be able to celebrate my birthday...No, my 21 years of life with my closest friends..."

"We came for the booze." Someone yelled out, causing everyone to break out into laughter.

"That's good...So did I." Ewan remarked. "Which reminds me...No one's going home until the last drop of liquor is drank from this place!!!" Ewan raised his glass as everyone cheered, and he downed his drink. The music coursed through the club once again, and everyone returned to the festivities.

"It's a nice night, isn't it?"

"Yeah...it is." Nick answered, as he took a sip from his drink. "I think this is the first club I've ever been to with a pier out in the back."

He said, as he leaned over the railing and stared out into the water.

"It's the best thing about this place. You can escape out to the deck if it gets too much inside." Jim said. "Pretty romantic too." He added, causing Nick to blush.

"Yeah. I just needed some fresh air. There's a lot of people in there."

"Ewan's a pretty popular guy on campus." Jim said, as he stood next to Nick and joined him in his admiration of the great lake. He held the beer bottle in his hand and took a swig, leaving Nick to his own thoughts, before continuing once more. "I thought you'd be used to crowds by now."

"Naw...never did get used to it. In fact, I hate it. It kinda scares me. I get a little claustrophobic." Nick took another sip from the glass he held in his hands. "If I ever had to chose something I hate about being a celebrity, it's that. You're always surrounded by people who are watching you. You live in this fish bowl where everyone wants to gawk at you, but even when it's just the five of us, it's still feels a little too crowded. I just feel like I want to get away sometimes."

"I know what you mean. Living in a frat house with your own Fraternity Brothers all the time, kinda gives you the same feeling."

"What do you do when you want to get away?"

Jim thought for a second, and drank some more of his beer. "I write."

"You write?" Nick said curiously, as he looked at Jim who was staring out into the night. "What do you write?"

"Just about anything. Sometimes it's just my thoughts...what's on my mind. I got into a poetry kick a while back that included song lyrics, but they were too dark. For the most part, I like to write stories."

"Stories? About what?"

"I like to make up stuff. I like fiction a lot. I find it very therapeutic." Jim said with a grin. "You can sit down, create your own world, with it's own problems, but in the end you and only you know the solutions. It gives you a place to get lost in, away from the real world. You should try it sometime."

"Maybe. It sounds cool. At least I'll be in control of something in my life then."

"That's just it. You're not in control...the characters you create are. Think of it as just you being the one to tell or write the story of their life."

Nick thought about Jim's statement as he drank some more. "You think maybe that we're just characters in someone's story? You think that maybe our life here, the things we go through, and the problems we have are just a result of some writer's over active imagination? Cause if it is...I'd like to register a complaint."

Jim couldn't help but chuckle at Nick's once again pessimistic comment. "Maybe. When you say 'writer,' are you referring to a god or the fates?"

"Either one I guess. Whatever you believe in. I mean, it just seems pretty shitty to me that someone up there..." Nick said pointing to the night sky, "puts these obstacles before us, and knows what lies in our future. I mean...it is OUR future they're playing with. We have to live it. I think it's pretty cruel that someone finds amusement in this."

"That's one way of looking at it, but like I said...what if that someone is just telling our story."

"Well, if that's the case then I'd like to tell them right now that the story of my life sucks, and I'd like them to change it now!!!" Nick joked.

"Then that's up to you. You can change your own life...you know...create your own destiny. It's all in how you look at it."

"I could, but how am I supposed to know if I'm doing the right things?"

"You can't. That's what makes life exciting, and an enjoyment for the one writing about us. If we all knew the answers, we'd be bored out of our minds and wishing that we didn't know all the answers. That's a part of the human condition that we can't escape. We're never content, and we always want more. It's a part of being human, I guess."

They both stood in silence after Jim's last words. Nick contemplated his thoughts as he finished his drink.

"You know, you're pretty good at this." Nick said.

"I better be. It's my major."

"Which is?"

"English and philosophy."

"Ah."

"You're pretty good too. Actually, better than I expected. You're not the pretty blonde boy that everyone makes you out to be."

"Never believe anything that you read. Half the time it's a lie anyways." Nick said with a smirk. "Besides, I think it's the alcohol. I either get all deep when I drink or super hyper."

"Well...This is a party. Let's see if we can get enough alcohol in you to see hyper Jake again." Jim joked as he motioned for him and Nick to return to the party.

"Why? You hoping to get lucky with me again?"

"Nope. I have my own plans for getting lucky tonight, but it doesn't involve you. It involves one of your best friends."

"Who? Kevin? It's always Kevin." Nick said with a mock pout. "Everyone wants Kevin!!!"

"No...Although Kevin is a hottie. I'm thinking about your other best friend...you know, my roommate."

"Oh..."Nick said intrigued. "You gonna tell him tonight?"

"Not exactly." Jim said with a deviant grin. "I plan on getting him really drunk and seducing him. Then we'll be forced to talk about it in the morning. That way, if he doesn't feel the same way, I'd have at least gotten to sleep with him. What do you think?"

"I think that's a little too sneaky. Besides, Brian and I do still have to sleep in your room tonight."

"No prob. If you guys wanna join in..." Jim said, giving Nick a wink.

"Ewwww...No way. I want Brian all to myself!!!" Nick said as they both laughed. "Why don't you just tell him?"

"Yeah...That was plan B. What about you? Have you decided what you're going to do?"

Nick stopped walking and turned towards Jim. He crossed his arms over his chest and thought to himself. Jim knew Nick needed some time to think, so he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and offered one to Nick, who gladly accepted it.

"Can I ask you something?" Nick managed to say, as Jim went to light his cigarette.

"Of course." Jim answered as he lit his own cigarette.

"Since we're alone now...You gonna tell me what Brian said?"

Jim smiled at Nick's question, as he exhaled the smoke from the drag that he just took. "He said that I should tell Ewan."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He said that Ewan wouldn't freak out and that he'd understand cause he's my best friend. He said that I needed to trust in our friendship, and that I needed to do it for myself."

"He said all that?"

"Yeah, and on some level, I think he's right. Brian's got a pretty good head on his shoulders."

"He does. He's pretty good at that stuff." Nick said, as he took another drag from his cigarette.

"I tried to get some more info out of him, like about how he'd feel if you had told him that you loved him 'that way,'" Jim said, peaking Nick's interest, "but you guys walked in before he could say anything. Sorry." Jim apologized, seeing Nick frown.

"It's cool. At least he helped you out, and now I know that maybe at least he won't freak out if I told him."

"So are you?"

"I guess there's no other option."

"I tell you what." Jim said, as he took one last drag from his cigarette and flicked it out into the distance. "Why don't we both tell them tonight." He said as he exhaled the smoke.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, that way if either one goes bad, we'll have each other to talk to."

Nick thought for a moment, as he too finished the cigarette in his hand. "Alright, but I'm gonna need a few more drinks first." Nick said, causing Jim to smile.

"So it's a deal." He said, and stuck out his hand, which Nick shook. "I think I'm gonna need a few more drinks too." Jim joked, as they walked back towards the club.

Kevin sat at the table taking in the hedonistic party that was going on around him. He had already had a few drinks and so the entire room was slowly taking on a surrealist quality to him. As he was taking another sip from his drink, he felt the seat shift from under him, indicating that someone had just sat next to him in the round booth, overlooking the dance floor.

"Why aren't you dancing?" A voice sounded in his ear.

"I don't wanna." Kevin answered.

"Why not?"

"Cause."

"Because what?"

"Cause I don't wanna." Kevin answered crossing his arms over his chest and pouting.

"You know...You're so cute when you're drunk." A.J. said as he ruffled Kevin's hair. Kevin pouted some more, and scooted away from A.J. "Aw...Kevy...C'mon. Cheer up. We're supposed to be celebrating."

"No."

"You're so weird ya know. When Nicky gets drunk he gets super hyper, Brian gets all giggly, and Howie...Well, Howie just won't shut up, which is why I needed to get away. But you..." A.J. said, as he moved closer to Kevin to put an arm around him. "You act like you're a kid again. Why?"

"I don't know." Kevin answered as he took another sip from his drink.

"It's always just been that way."

"Awww. Poor Kevy." A.J. said in a syrupy voice. "Tell Uncle A.J. what's 'da mattah."

"You're drunk J."

"How can you tell?"

"Cause you get all horny when you're drunk."

"I'm not horny." A.J. said innocently.

"Then what's your hand doing on my crotch?"

"Ooops...Sorry...Didn't even realize I was doing that."

"It's okay." Kevin said, followed by a pause. "You wanna remove it now?"

A.J. giggled a bit before he finally removed his hand, but not before giving Kevin a slight squeeze. Kevin jumped in surprise as A.J. just laughed. He apologized and joined Kevin in watching the party from the booth.

A few minutes passed as Kevin continued to drink and sulk more, and A.J. bounced around to the beat of the music. He decided to let Kevin alone with his drink and whatever was bothering his friend. He was interested in partying and celebrating, not playing nursemaid. The only time either one of them spoke was to order another drink from the waitress that floated by from time to time. The two of them sat in their own worlds allowing the party to go on around them.

"Hey guys! Why aren't you dancing?" Nick asked as he took a seat across from Kevin, in the semi-circular booth.

"I'm taking a break. Scoping out the joint." A.J. answered.

"What about you Kev?" Nick asked, his question answered only by Kevin's shrugging shoulders.

Nick looked towards A.J. for an answer to Kevin's odd behavior. A.J. mouthed the words "don't ask," followed by a drinking gesture with his hand.

Nick's face shone in understanding, as he too knew how Kevin's mood changed when he drank.

"So...did ya spot any cute guys here tonight?" A.J. asked, causing Nick to blush.

"You know, it feels really weird to hear you say that."

"Why? You're gay, right?" A.J. asked as Nick nodded his head. He was slightly embarrassed, so he broke eye contact with A.J. and retreated to his drink. "So, what's the problem? It's the same as me asking you if you saw any cute girls here...If you were straight that is. You can look, Nick, and find guys attractive. It's not a crime. Only difference is now that you've told us, you can share how you feel about other guys." A.J. said, causing Nick to smile. He was thankful to have at least A.J. on his side.

"It's just like me asking Bri if he found any hot girls here tonight."

A.J.'s comment caused Nick's smile to fade slightly, but he recovered with one of his forced smiles, hoping neither of them had noticed.

"Don't encourage him A.J." Kevin suddenly said to their surprise.

"He speaks!!!" A.J. said, in mock surprise. He took another sip from the glass in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nick sheepishly asked.

"It means that even though you're gay, you can't be throwing yourself at every guy you meet."

"Who said I was throwing myself at anyone?" Nick asked defensively.

"C'mon Kev. I just asked him if he spotted anyone he thought was cute. I didn't ask him if he spotted anyone he wanted to take home."

"Well...You never know." Kevin remarked snidely.

"What? What are you talking about?" Nick said more aggressively this time, as A.J. watched the duel unfold in front of him. He rolled his eyes, knowing that this was how it usually started. Kevin would make some sarcastic comment while Nick took the defensive. He was used to it by now.

"Don't play dumb Nick. You're nineteen, your hormones are raging, you've never been with anyone, and now that you're out to us, you don't have to sneak around with bringing a guy to your hotel room." Kevin stated matter-of-factly. "You do the math!"

"Kev...Even though I'm out now, I'm not gonna take the first guy I see back to my hotel room. C'mon, I know better than that. Give me some credit here." Nick said with conviction, but showing some nervousness by the way he downed his drink.

"Credit? Ha!!! I'll give you credit when you don't go kissing random guys in the streets of New York." Kevin said, shocking Nick.

"I never..." Nick started to say.

"Don't even try to deny it. A.J. saw you that night." Kevin said smugly. "Ow...What the fuck?!?! What the hell did you just kick me for?" Kevin asked A.J.

"For acting like an asshole...That's why!"

"Wait...Wait...Wait...you saw me in New York?"

"OK...This is the part where I leave. I think Howie needs someone to talk to." A.J. said as he tried to leave.

"Stay." Nick and Kevin both commanded, and seeing that he was trapped, A.J. acquiesced.

"You knew?" Nick asked.

"Kinda, but so did Kevin."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What were we supposed to say?"

"What does it matter anyway?" Kevin butted in, drawing both of their attention. "We saw you kissing another guy in plain sight, on the streets of New York Fuckin' City for crying out loud. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Alright, let me explain. You see...I didn't know how to tell you guys, and it was killing me. One night, I went out and met this really great guy at a club. We went out for a few drinks and..." Nick explained but was cut off by Kevin.

"And what Nick? Decided to get drunk and make out with this guy you just met, on the street? Is that it? That's your explanation? Well...Why don't you explain to us how you planned on explaining how our careers could've been ruined if a reporter saw you? Or better yet, were you hoping a reporter would've seen you that night, so that we could read about you being gay in the morning paper? Let's here that explanation!!!"

"I mean...I wasn't...but a reporter didn't..." Nick struggled for the words Kevin wanted to hear, but he was caught by surprise, and the pool of confusion that his alcohol addled brain was swimming in, kept him from finding those words. "I guess I just wasn't thinking." Nick said, as he sunk down into his seat.

"That's the problem Nick...That's your excuse for everything. You never think about what you're doing!!!"

"C'mon Kev, go easy on him."

"Stop defending him A.J. If Nick wants to be treated like an adult, I'll treat him that way. Maybe then he'll act like one."

"You know what...Fuck You Kevin!!! I don't even know why I bother explaining myself to you. You never listen, and even when you do...it's never good enough!!! I'll do whatever the hell I want to!!!" Nick said as he stormed off.

"Great job asshole. What the hell was that all about?"

"Weren't you listening? It's about Nick being irresponsible."

"Yeah...Right." A.J. said sarcastically as he started on the drink the waitress had just brought over to him. "You know that had nothing to do with Nick being irresponsible."

"Oh Yeah...well since you seem to know all of the answers, why don't you tell me what that was all about?"

"That was all about YOU!!! That was all about the insecurities you have about your relationship with Nick. Every time you get mad at the kid, it's about the same thing...YOU. It's all about you not being able to control Nick's life. It's about you being jealous that he's not as close to you as he used to be. It's about you being jealous that he turns to Ewan or Brian with his problems. It's about you not being able to accept the fact that he's growing up. It's always all about YOU!!!

"After the way you just treated him...I can't blame him for not talking to you. You're acting like his parent, not his friend."

"He needs a parent. He's just a kid."

"Open your eyes Kev. He's not a KID anymore. He doesn't need you to be his parent...He needs you to be his friend. You can't be both. He's always trying to please you. Can't you see that?"

"He doesn't need to please me...I love him regardless."

"Then act like it. Stop acting like his parents...Stop pushing him away."

"I'm not pushing..." Kevin started to say, but was interrupted when Ewan suddenly took a seat next to him.

"What's going on guys? Why aren't you partying?" Ewan asked, but was met only buy silence. "What's up with you guys tonight? First Nick won't talk to me...Now you two. What's going on?"

"Where's Nick, Ewan?" A.J. asked.

"He's drinking himself to death at the bar. I couldn't keep up after the third shot, so I left to go see what you guys were up to...apparently not much different. So...will someone please tell me what's going on?"

The table was silent until A.J. spoke up. "Since Kevin won't say anything, I will. Nick's pissed at Kevin!!!"

"Why?"

"Cause Kevin 'loves' Nick!!!" A.J. said to their surprise.

"What? You're gay too?"

"No." Kevin answered, and glared at A.J. "BUT A.J. IS!!!" He decided to throw in as a response to A.J.'s comment.

"You're gay?" Ewan asked A.J., who didn't take his eyes off of Kevin.

"You're a certified asshole right now, Kevin." Was his only response.

"I'm gonna go see if Nick's okay." A.J. smiled at Ewan, who didn't know how to respond, and left to go find Nick.

"So, Nick's gay, A.J.'s gay, and you're in love with Nick...anything else I should know?" Ewan joked as he watched Kevin drink.

"Nope...I don't think so. We're just chock-full-o secrets, huh?" Kevin tried to joke.

"You're telling me..." Ewan thought, knowing that there were one or two more secrets floating around within the band.

"What was that?"

"Nevermind. So A.J. finally called you out, huh?"

"Yeah...I guess." Kevin responded guiltily. "What do you mean 'finally?'"

"Well, I think everyone's pretty much clued in on the fact that you love Nick for a while now."

"I'm not in love with Nick!!!"

"Fine...you 'CARE' deeply for him then. Why else would you treat him the way you do? I think the only oblivious ones to the fact is you and Nick. You don't treat anyone else like you treat Nick. You care for him more than you do for anyone...even your own cousin."

"That's different." Kevin stated defensively. "Brian's older, and he's my family for Chrissakes."

"True...but it still doesn't give you an excuse to pay attention only to Nick."

"He needs me."

"He's growing up Kev. Let him make mistakes without you there yelling at him. He loves you too, Kev, even if he doesn't show it exactly the way you want him to. Don't drive him away. You need him, just as much as he needs you."

Ewan finished his little talk with Kevin, and looked directly at his friend. Kevin was blankly staring into a glass full of ice. He contemplated Ewan's words and wished that he could remain blind to the subject. Ewan helped him see what he needed to do. Kevin knew that he needed to let go of Nick, in order to keep him, but he still wasn't sure he knew how.

Ewan intently watched as Kevin's mind raced. He could tell that the alcohol Kevin had consumed throughout the night was wearing him thin. He thought to himself how Kevin looked as if he was either about to burst into tears, or tear the club apart. He himself could feel the effects of the night's partying take hold as he fought to keep Kevin in focus.

"You know what?" Ewan said, causing Kevin to look at him, or attempt to look at him. "I'm getting' kinda tired, and you look like you need to get to bed. I'm sure the others feel the same way. Why don't we call it a night?"

Kevin nodded in agreement as he started to slide his way out of the booth. As he tried to stand up, he found it difficult to maintain his balance. He gripped the table with one hand, as Ewan came over to steady him.

"You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Just give me a sec."

As soon as Kevin regained his balance, he staggered along with Ewan through the club, in search of the others. He could only hope everyone was better off than he was. Kevin wondered whether it was the alcohol or the dose of truth, A.J. and Ewan both dealt him, that made him sick to his stomach. Either way, he had enough for one night.

"Chug...Chug...Chug...Chug..." The words rang out from the crowd gathered around the bar.

"Awww Yeah," and "C'mon pay up." Were the words Ewan and Kevin heard next as they approached the bar. When they broke through the crowd, they found Nick and Jim at the center of the commotion.

"One more round...double or nothing!"

"You just can't lose can ya, Nick?" Jim asked.

"I hate losing!!! I never lose!!! You guys in on this one?" Nick asked Brian and Howie.

Brian responded by giggling at Nick. It was useless to get any verbal response from him when he was that drunk.

"C'mon Nick, you've lost three in a row, and I've lost fifty bucks...there's no way you can beat him. I think that you should just..."

"Forget you." Nick responded, cutting off Howie's rambling. "I can take him on my own. Bartender...ANOTHER ROUND!!!" Nick yelled, causing the crowd to cheer around him.

"Nick...Nick..." Ewan screamed over the crowd.

"Ewan...My man!!! You're just in time to see me whoop your roommate's ass!!!"

"You should know better than to challenge one of us frat boys to a drinking contest." Ewan said as he stood next to Nick at the bar, and put an arm around him. The bartender brought 2 full shot glasses followed by 2 half full pint glasses. He pulled out a book of matches and was about to light the shots when Ewan stopped him.

"Jim...Please tell me you weren't using these shots to challenge Nick!"

"No." Jim replied to Ewan's relief. "He challenged me."

"This is gonna fuck him up. How many of these have you had, Nick?"

"Three...no wait...two." Nick said as he held up five fingers to compliment his answer.

"Aw...Shit!!!" Ewan exclaimed.

"What's the problem, Ewe?" Kevin finally spoke up.

"Jackass here has been challenging Nick with liquid fire shots." Ewan responded and slapped Jim on the shoulder.

"C'mon...let's see the BackStreet pussy take the shot!" Someone yelled.

Kevin looked over at Nick whose head was now resting on Brian's shoulder as he continued to giggle.

"C'mon...he challenged!!!" Someone else yelled, as the crowd looked on and became restless.

"I'll take it for him." Kevin said, under pressure from the crowd. They cheered when they heard there was a new challenger.

"You don't have to do this Kev. You're fucked up enough as it is." Ewan said.

Kevin looked over at Nick who stared back at him with a lost and almost pleading look.

Kevin turned towards the crowd, and not one to be left out done, yelled "Light it up!!!" Causing everyone to cheer.

"You sure you can handle this?" Ewan asked, but before he could respond, the liquid in the shot glass he held was on fire, as was Jim's. Kevin quickly dropped the flaming shot into the half full pint of beer and began to chug. When he was done, he slammed the empty glass onto the bar.

Kevin turned his head and saw the world around him revolve in slow motion. He struggled to focus in on Jim who was still chugging his drink. Kevin raised his hands in victory to the delight of the crowd. He turned once again, this time to face Nick. His head was still firmly planted on Brian's shoulder, but this time Kevin noticed a lopsided smile on his face, as he returned it.

"Alright guys, now I think it's really time to go. You coming Jim?" Ewan asked, but only received a blank stare from his friend. "I'll take that as a yes."

"We can drop you off, Ewan...It's cool. It's not that far from the hotel to your place, and I don't think Kevin and A.J. are gonna mind. Honestly it's okay. It's our plea..."

"Howie...Howie...Shhhhh..." Ewan said, and gestured by putting his finger up to Howie's lips. "Trust me. It's alright. Jim and I have done this walk a hundred times. We'll be fine. I think the four of us need some sobering up time. Besides, it already looks like you have your hands full with those two." Ewan nodded towards the limousine and stuck his head in. Kevin was laying in the fetal position on one side of the seats, while A.J. was sprawled out onto the floor. "Yeah, you guys look like you need to get home just as bad."

"You sure? You know, it's not that far...and we could always just..."

"Howie...Shhhh." Ewan said one last time, and ushered him into the limousine. He closed the door and tapped on the roof of the car letting the driver know that they were all set. Ewan watched as they pulled away before turning back to the others.

"You guys ready?"

"Yeah, I need to lay down." Jim said as he closed his eyes.

"You take Brian, and I'll take Nicky." Ewan directed. He looked at the two BackStreet Boys who were sitting on the ground and shook his head, partly in wonder, but mostly in hopes that his current state of double vision would stop. He grabbed Nick and pulled him up to his feet.

"Let's go Nick...It's time to go home."

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night. Ewan noticed that the street was oddly quiet, but to him, it still maintained a quality of serenity. He looked over at Nick who had his arm draped around his neck, and then ahead towards Brian and Jim. A smile creeped across his face as he thought of how lucky he was to be able to spend his birthday with his best friends. He was happy.

"You wanna know something?"

"What's that, Nick?"

"I love you...you're my best friend in the whole wide world."

"Awww...Thanks, Nick...You're my bestest friend too." Ewan replied as they shared a moment together. All of a sudden, Nick started to giggle. "What's so funny?"

"You said 'bestest.'"

Ewan was quiet at first, as he thought to himself. They took a few more steps before he too started to laugh. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"You know...You guys are pretty funny when you're drunk."

Brian couldn't give Jim a verbal answer, so instead he just giggled.

"I take it you can't talk when you're really drunk?"

Brian managed to nod his head this time, through his giggling fit.

"Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

Brian nodded once again. Jim looked at him and squinted, as if to get a better view.

"You don't understand a thing I'm saying then...do you?"

Brian once again nodded his head and giggled at Jim. Jim grinned mischievously, and looked ahead as they continued to stagger home.

"I bet that if I said something to ya right now, you won't even remember it in the morning."

Brian only nodded once more.

"Okay then...Nick loves you! He's fallen for you deeply. I can tell cause he looks at you like I look at Ewan."

Jim's seriousness was only answered with an even louder fit of laughter from Brian.

"I can only hope a part of you still remembers some of what I just said. He's in love with you so bad that it hurts." Jim said, before he too joined in Brian's contagious laughter.

"I wonder what those two are laughing at." Ewan asked himself, as he looked ahead to where Jim and Brian were. He smiled to himself as he turned to Nick.

"Hey Nick..."

"Yessssss???"

Ewan let out a slight laugh, before he continued. "If I'm your 'bestest' friend, and you love me...what about Brian???"

Nick stopped and looked, or rather tried to look Ewan straight in the eyes, but was deterred by his spinning vision. His head took a slight tilt to the side just like a little puppy would do when it would look up at you, and then he smiled.

"I love Brian." Nick said, and then continued to walk. "I love you...but I love Brian differren. I love him special." Nick said with a smile, as he looked directly ahead towards Brian.

Ewan followed Nick's gaze and smiled. "I wish someone would love me different...special, like you love Brian." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Maybe someone does." Nick answered with a hint of mischief in his voice. "Maybe someone does, but you just don't know it."

"Who? Do you know something that I don't?"

"Maybe."

Ewan stopped and looked at Nick in shock. When he realized that Ewan was no longer walking beside him, Nick turned around. Ewan stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face, and Nick couldn't help but smirk at him.

"Who is it, Nick? Tell me!!!"

"Nope."

Ewan started walking towards Nick, and when he caught up to him, they continued on their way.

"C'mon...Please!?!"

"Uh -Uh." Nick said, shaking his head.

"Fine...Then I'll just have to tell Brian that you love him." Ewan said, as he took off running towards Brian and screaming his name.

"Wait...No...Don't...I'll tell you!!!" Nick giggled out, as he gave chase.

When Brian and Jim heard the commotion behind them, they turned around to see Nick chasing Ewan. They found the scene before them hysterically funny, and broke into more fits of laughter. After a short chase, Nick caught up to Ewan as he tackled him onto the grass.

"Okay...Okay...I won't say anything," Ewan managed to say between breaths, "but you have to tell me who likes me."

"Okay...Okay..." Nick said as they sat on the grass. "It's Jim. He loves you."

"Jim?" Ewan said, confused. "How do you know?"

"Are you blind? He looks at you that way...and...he told me so himself."

"Wow." Ewan said, as he looked for Jim and Brian, who were now walking back towards them. A smile formed on his lips, as he turned back towards Nick.

"Hey, I think you should tell Brian that you love him."

Nick looked at him confused, and then smiled. "Okay." He said with a silly grin as he shot up and started running towards Brian. Ewan didn't think that Nick would take him seriously, so he stood up and immediately and ran after Nick.

"BRIAN!!!" Nick shouted as he approached them. When he got to the two of them, he took Brian by the shoulders and shouted "I LOVE YOU!!!" And then he did the unthinkable...he kissed him.

Ewan and Jim stood there stunned at what Nick had just done. After Nick let go of Brian, they could see that he had a huge grin on his face. What he did next surprised everyone. He took off running into the middle of the street, shouting in celebration.

The three of them looked on in their drunken stupor, as once again Brian started to giggle uncontrollably. Soon enough, Jim and Ewan joined in, as they watched Nick jumping and spinning with his hands in the air.

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night. The street was oddly quiet, except for their jovial laughter, but it still maintained a quality of serenity...Everything was falling into place.

They were all happy, and some were more than just drunk from the alcohol. They were drunk from love. From the deep-rooted filial love, to the even deeper true love, there was no doubt that each one of them was filled to the brim that night.

A light appeared in the distance, as Nick continued to celebrate, and as the others filled the night with laughter. As the seconds ticked on, the light grew brighter and brighter, illuminating the four of them, especially Nick. Suddenly, a sound could be heard along with the light, and it too grew louder and louder, as the lights grew more bright, but they all failed to notice it.

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night...everything was perfect.

Their laughter was suddenly interrupted by a shrill noise, as Nick's name echoed in the night. The voice bounced off of the trees and the ground, as it invaded the night air.

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night...everything was beginning to fall apart.

The pavement was rattled with footsteps. It could feel the urgency from its owner, as they pounded onto the pavement.

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night...everything fell apart.

A loud screech replaced the laughter, followed by gasps. The crisp night air suddenly turned foul as the smell of burning rubber crept into their nostrils. The tranquility of the night was destroyed.

Suddenly, everything went black. A blinding darkness overcame the four of them.

Sound was the only sense they had left, but it quickly became their enemy. There was a loud thump, followed by the sound of shattering glass...and then a loud silence.

Through the silence, the screeching could be heard once again, like a cry in the night, followed by more thumping, but there was a more painful sound that penetrated the night.

The most painful sound of all echoed when a life came to an end.

Just as the lights suddenly appeared, they disappeared into the night.

The air was still that night. It wasn't quite warm enough to call it summer, but it was a nice spring night...everything changed forever.

Well...what'd ya think??? I'd love to know!!! Love it, hate it, was way too long...drop me a line!!!

I'm pretty sure that this one's gonna be the last of the long ass chapters. It's just that there's a lot going on in the story right now that needs to go out at the same time.

I wanna hear from all of ya reading this. I wanna know what you really think, and I'm kinda curious as to where you think the story is going, or where you'd like it to go.

Shout OUT's:

Kyle - a.k.a. "Magic Man" - Congrats on finishing "Not Meant to Be." (Or whatever title you ended it with :) just kidding!!! It's an awesome story.

Everyone should go read it!!!

Kelly - For being a great friend...and for writing "Life's Discoveries." Love that story!!!