I went through the door, down the last few steps and ordered a pint of Tennent's. I then made my way around the bar, through all the men, some nice, some gorgeous and some just alright looking. I wasn't interested in pulling anyone who was just alright, I wanted a gorgeous man to give it to me.
I couldn't find a seat, but then it was 10:30pm on a Friday night and the place was really busy, so I looked around for somewhere to stand. I made my way round the bar and found a spot where I could put my drink and stand. But lucky for me it happened to be next to a gorgeous man that I was very attracted to.
I put my drink down next to his on the shelf and as our eyes connected, I gave him a small, shy, but sexy, smile.
He didn't smile back. He just looked at me. I was aware of the need to say something, ask him his name or something like that.
But I was just too shy. The words wouldn't form. I felt my hand shake as it went to grab my drink. I lifted it slowly to my lips, taking a gentle, controlled sip. I licked the foam seductively from my upper lip, hoping that the man was watching me.
I looked up at his eyes, they were on someone else, glinting, excitedly. But that excitement wasn't for me. I looked across the bar at a young man of 20 odd who was looking back at the guy with the same glint in his eyes.
I thought, Dammit, the guy I want, wants someone else.
I really thought I could get that guy, but he wasn't interested. I decided to move on, seductively continuing to drink my pint in the hope of catching someone's eyes.
On my second circuit of the near-full bar I stopped and put my drink on a ledge. I had spotted someone nice opposite where I was standing. He was about 27, fairly chubby with some facial hair on his chin and upper lip. Just seeing that hair on his face made me imagine what they would feel like on my skin.
I began to imagine what his kisses would be like and I felt my tongue poking out between my lips, slowly licking them, top then bottom, then top again.
I couldn't take my eyes away from this cute cub. The thought of all the things he would or could do to me drove me wild with anticipation. I wanted him right now. His eyes suddenly got caught onto mine. He looked at me, knowing what I was thinking somehow, but I s'pose anyone would know just from looking at me.
I smiled knowingly, knowing that he wanted me nearly as much as I wanted him and that same smile was reflected back at me. I knew I had him, I only needed to reel him in. That was the hard part over, all that was left was the easy bit.
I looked at him and gestured to him to come over.
It took him a second before he realised my intentions, but once he did, he eagerly crossed the gap, shortening the strong gaze sizzling between us.
He set his drink down next to mine and smiled again.
"Hi, my name's John."
"Anthony," was his reply. He affirmed it with a nod and another smile.
"Nice to meet you, Anthony," I said, feeling awkward.
"And you." The awkwardness was echoed in Anthony's words. I needed to do my thing before he lost interest.
"Where in Edinburgh do you stay then, Anthony?"
"I don't. I stay in Fife."
"Oh right, well you'll have to come back to mine. Is that okay with you?"
I was shocked by my directness and so was Anthony, but he tried to hide it by answering calmly: "Yes, that's okay. Where in Edinburgh do you stay?"
"I stay in Tollcross."
"Okay." He went quiet again. I could tell he was a little bit nervous, but then so was I.
"How old are you, Anthony? 27? 28?" I thought my guess was a good one, but I was wrong.
"I'm actually 31. I hope I haven't disappointed you."
"Not at all, Anthony, not at all. It's just a tad higher than I had expected, but don't worry about it. How old do you think I am?"
"Um," he studied my features for a minute trying to guess my age.
I could tell he was going to get it wrong, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
"Come on, just guess."
"Eh, 25?"
"No, lower."
"Lower?"
"Yes. You make me feel old thinking I'm 25."
"I'm 31!" He seemed insulted.
"I know and you look 27, but I'm 21 and you think I look 25!"
"21?" He looked slightly disbelieving.
"Yes. I am but 21 years, February past. So I'm not as old as I seem. But it's the opposite for you, which apparently is a good thing."
"Why apparently?" He now seemed amused.
"Because when you get to 30 you feel old and when someone tells you you look younger it's a compliment. Though I think it has something to do with vanity. We can't be young forever so why should we try to look young forever? You know? I think it's quite pointless. But that's only my opinion."
"I know what you mean. The search for eternal beauty is pointless then?"
"No. I'm trying to say the will to look young forever is pointless. Whether you're beautiful or not has nothing to do with it."
"But apparently everyone and everything in the universe is beautiful. So what you're saying has got something to do with beauty."
"Only indirectly. Yes everyone and everything has their own beauty that can be in physicality, personality or intelligence. Beauty is not determined by the way you look. It often has something to do with the way you think. It has nothing to do with age."
"Are you drunk?" He seemed even more amused by my words now than before.
"I haven't finished my first pint yet, so shut up. I talk like this a lot. But remember you don't need to believe a word of it. My words are of opinionative origin anyway. It's completely up to you how you interpret what I've just said."
"No, I think I believe what you've said. Don't get me wrong, I can think for myself, but right now I have no argument on that matter."
"Good," I said. "Now kiss me."
Email comments and questions to me at iainoflo@yahoo.co.uk, thanks.