The Bandini Affair 09
Draginacht@aol.com (AKA Jeff)
Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. The story contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. Anyone who is forbidden by law to read such material must stop now. This story is being posted to the Nifty Archive solely for the enjoyment of its readers.
Chapter 9
We left our story in the month of March. Leo was on the verge of becoming single through the benefit of an annulment. It seemed so much simpler and much less antagonistic than a divorce. It also avoided the trauma and drama of a court appearance and was much less expensive.
Leo made a quick trip home to tell his family - he never liked to keep secrets from them and he needed their support. He did not, however, go into any of the details of the split and his family respected his silence. Despite the speed and amicable nature of obtaining his freedom, Leo still felt responsible for the marriage breakup. It caused him an extended period of guilt and depression. Having been raised in the Catholic Church, he ventured back for guidance. The priest he dealt with seemed very understanding and helped Leo get his feet back under him. However, Leo never felt at liberty to confess all of his sins. There was something deep inside him that he was afraid to share with anyone - yet.
About two months after that momentous evening when he found Marsha in bed with another man, Leo received an E-mail from Rolf. They exchanged a few messages and Leo explained his new circumstance. But the e-mail had another effect; it caused Leo to recall his Amsterdam experiences - especially in the video store. Early one Saturday evening, Leo logged on to the Internet and typed "gay" in the Google field. It was like opening a door to a huge new world he'd never given much thought to - or had avoided thoughts about. Before he logged off in the wee hours of Sunday morning, Leo had learned things that fueled his continued interest.
He slept late that Sunday and had breakfast for lunch. Then it was back to his computer to search for anything related to "gay" or 'homosexual." Anyone who's done that knows what lurks to be found. By 5:00 P.M. he decided he'd had enough for one day and he needed a shower. Later, after stepping out of his shower, Leo looked into the mirror and got the feeling that he was seeing himself for the first time. He stood with water still beaded up on his skin waiting to be absorbed by a large towel. He examined his nakedness. Overall he liked what he saw but noticed his obvious flaws: nose too small and penis too short. 'Not much I can do about that,' he thought. He took a deep breath, followed by a slow exhale.
"Are you gay?" He spoke directly to the form in the mirror. It didn't answer.
"Am I gay?" Thus began Leo's intellectual inquiry and self-analysis to establish once and for all exactly who he really was. He reached for the towel because the water drying on his skin was beginning to make him feel cold.
"So, where do I begin? According to the definitions I've read, a homosexual is someone who is attracted to one of the same sex. That attraction can be either emotional, sexual, physical or all the above. I suppose on the surface that makes sense. But how does that apply to me? I don't remember having any abnormal sexual experiences when I was young. I don't think anybody molested me or caused me to be gay. Have I always had feelings like that but ignored them?"
By now Leo was pulling his pants up around his waist and buttoning them. He slipped a short-sleeved light brown polo over his head and sat down on the edge of his bed. 'Nothing jumps out!' he thought. 'Perhaps I'm really a heterosexual but got confused. Then why do I keep having these thoughts about men? Okay, go back to high school. It's true, I wasn't that interested in girls... but I don't remember being that interested in boys either. Well... I did like guys, like it was always fun when Ben had the gang over to play games. I did like being close to them. And then... there were those times in the locker rooms... I did enjoy that.
'But I don't remember any attraction to girls. Girls were just girls. And college was pretty much the same... until I met Marsha. I have to admit she took control and I think I really let her do things I wasn't sure I was ready for. But I have to confess, once she started I was willing, couldn't stop. Was I really attracted to her or was my body just responding to what she was doing? She was always the driver, always on top.'
"THAT'S IT!" He exclaimed out loud as his head popped up and he had a surprised look on his face. "That's what's wrong with that photo; he (meaning Marsha's lover) was on top! I was NEVER on top! Ohhhh." Leo fell back on the bed.
'So, what does that mean? Was I too passive? NO! I won't go there! That's history! This is about me, not her!' He closed his eyes and attempted to clear his thoughts. 'Where was I? I don't remember. But I want to know why I am now so interested in looking at men? I know it all began with that video in that shop in Amsterdam. But why did I react the way I did?' Leo allowed his imagination to begin replaying the scenes in the video and felt movement inside his briefs. His hand moved from his side and cupped his genitals, causing further stiffening. Then he forced his hand back to his side.
'No, don't do that! I have to think this through. I must admit that watching the men in that video moved me in ways I never thought of before. Was that always inside me? Did the video open my Pandora's box? Was Aphrodite sitting on my shoulder, egging me on?'
"I haven't really answered my question, have I?" Leo sat up on the side of the bed. "Well, maybe I have. I must admit I enjoy looking at men. And I also have to admit that watching men have sex turns me on." He sat unthinking for a moment, staring straight ahead at the wall.
"Maybe I am gay." Leo took a deep breath and exhaled. His exhalation may have been a sign of resignation. He would have to wait to find out. And he would continue thinking about his question and searching the Internet for more answers.
About two weeks later, on a Friday evening, Leo's curiosity level was strong enough to cause him to go exploring. He drove to the gay section of Nashville, just to check it out. He had the name of some of the gay bars but had no idea if any would appeal to him. After all, he had been in gay bars in Amsterdam. He picked one at random and went in. As he walked through the door a list of questions were running through his mind: 'Am I dressed appropriately... where should I sit (bar, booth, or table)... what should I order to drink... how should I approach another guy... what should I talk about... how much about myself should I reveal... what should I ask another guy? Etc. For an introvert, Leo was so outside his comfort zone that he was a nervous wreck.
All of Leo's self doubts came crashing around him as he sat at the bar nervously sipping a beer. Not many customers were in the bar, which made him feel even more obvious. His beer was about half gone when a nice looking young man of about 22 approached and slid onto the stool to Leo's left.
"I don't think I've seen you before. You new here?" the young man asked with a pleasant smile.
"Uh... yes, never been here before." Leo was trying his best to be friendly.
"My name's Alan, what's yours?" Leo felt something on his knee. He looked down to find Alan's hand moving slowly up his thigh. That was way too much. Leo just couldn't do this. Seeking an exit, he was more than obvious about lifting his left arm to look at his watch.
"Un... sorry, I'm late for an appointment; see ya later." Leo left his unfinished beer on the bar and walked as fast as he could without running toward the door. That would be his last foray into the gay bar scene; it was much too stressful for an introvert like him.
"I'm doomed," he said as he drove back to his apartment. "I really want to know if I'd like being intimate with a man but I'm too much the coward to find out. It'll have to be with someone I know, someone I trust. I'll have to know that he won't take advantage of me or hurt me. And he can't make fun of me either. Darn! I must be the oldest gay virgin on the face of the earth." Leo inherently knew that his introverted personality and his shyness were working to his disadvantage. He would have to have a very high comfort level with a man before he would ever consider being intimate.
Leo abandoned his search for knowledge within the local gay community but he did find help on line. His discovery of chat rooms was a great benefit. He felt relieved and excited to learn there were others out there who were just like him - or at least seemed like him. He could never be sure where chat rooms were concerned. He even found some websites that offered gay literature and he began reading.
The more Leo read, the more he wanted to read. He examined many categories of stories and quickly dismissed any having to do with kids, domination, or S&M. He found any type of violence to be objectionable. It didn't take Leo long to discover certain writers he liked and two in particular captured his imagination: Jeff Allen and Tim Mead. They produced very well written stories about loving relationships between gay men, were easy to read, and provided Leo with a more clear picture of what his life MIGHT be like if he met the right man. All of the stories gave Leo an education into the mechanics of gay sex that he'd only speculated about - some of it true, some of it fantasy - he wouldn't know which until he actually tried it. He also developed a few misconceptions about gay sex that would later be set straight. Mentally Leo drew a line at any sex or relationship that he considered degrading and demeaning.
It is now a Friday afternoon in late October. After his separation, Leo had taken a few weeks off. Finally he called his agent and began writing again. His interviews with sports figures and his writing helped him rebuild his life. He also traveled quite a bit and that proved to be a needed diversion.
Leo sat at the kitchen table pecking away at the keys of his laptop. He'd managed to find a furnished apartment not far from his office and was now comfortable settled. He had just logged on to Expedia.com in search of a flight to Chicago, when the phone rang. He checked the ID then flipped the phone open.
"Hi Meg, I'm glad you called, I've been thinking about you." Meg is Leo's sister.
"Hello, Brother Dear." Meg was two years younger and married with three kids. She had always been a fun-loving gal with a strong self-image and a desire for adventure. "Can you come home?"
"Well yeah, what's up?"
"Are you sitting down?"
"Yes..."
"The doctor thinks Pop just had a stroke and Mom and I need you."
"A stroke?" Leo's voice was higher and louder. "Is he okay? I mean... how bad is it?"
"He's in the hospital and they're doing a lot of tests. We'll know more by the time you get here; how soon can you do that?"
"Uh... just a second, I'm already on the Internet so..." As they were talking, Leo began searching for a flight home. "Yes, here it is; I can catch a shuttle leaving at 6:15 this evening. That'll put me in there right around 7:00. Can you pick me up?"
"Sure. The airport has a special lot where I can wait for you to call me on your mobile, then I'll just zip right to the arrivals area and pick you up."
"Okay, I'll call you when I get off the plane. Tell Pop I love him and I'll see you later - Oh Katie, one more thing, how's Mom doing?"
"You know Mom; she's putting up a strong front but I can tell that she's concerned."
"Okay, gotta get moving, bye."
"See ya." Meg ended the call.
Leo wasted no time. He immediately booked the flight, logged off the Internet, shut down his laptop and began packing.
The automatic sliding doors parted and Leo walked out into the approaching darkness. He quickly spotted Katie's white Honda Odyssey as it approached the curb. Kate waved and Leo hurried to the vehicle.
"So how's Pop?" Leo asked as he slid into the seat and closed the door. He didn't even say 'Hello.'
"He seems pretty good. The doctor wants to keep him for a couple of days for observation and more tests but I'd have to say he's doing well." Meg swung the van out into traffic and drove toward the airport exit.
"Oh good," Leo exhaled and began to relax a little. "How did this happen? Where was he, what was he doing?"
"Now that I think about it, it was a stroke of luck... oh, that was the wrong way to say that. But we were lucky. Pop was out in the yard talking to a customer and doing what he normally does. (The 'yard' is what the employees at The Bandini Nursery call the open area outside the office where all the plants are kept.) At first it looked like he tripped over a plant or something and fell down. Susie and Ben rushed to make sure he was okay and help him up. Then they helped him into the office so he could sit down in a chair."
"And a stroke caused that?" Leo wanted to know all the details.
"Well, nobody even suspected a stroke until Matt came in. You remember Matt - he used to work part time in the summers before you left for college. He's full time now."
Leo quickly searched his memory and came up with an image of a young fourteen year old kid, not exactly skinny, perhaps gangly is a more accurate description. As he recalled, the kid was also tall for his age, almost six feet tall. His attention was distracted by the sound of his sister's voice.
"Anyway, he'd heard what happened and came in to see how Pop was doing. It was an amazing thing to watch. He squatted down in front of Pop and asked him to smile. Pop wasn't doing that so well so Matt asked him what his address was. He did okay with that and the Matt asked him to raise his arms straight above his head. Pop's right hand went right up but he wasn't able to get his left one higher than his shoulder." Meg voice was now excited as she continued
"Matt jumped up and ran to the phone and dialed 9-1-1. The rest of us just stood around wondering what was happening when we heard Matt tell the operator to send paramedics, that we had a probable stroke victim."
"Wow! That's amazing! I can see why you said we were lucky. I know from my experience in the news department that if you can identify a stroke victim early enough there's some kind of shot they can give that virtually makes it like it never happened."
"Yeah, and that's what they did. If Matt hadn't been there we would've probably sat around waiting for Pop to get better when he really needed immediate medical attention."
Leo noticed his sister wasn't driving toward home. "Where we going?"
"I thought you'd want to go straight to the hospital. Mom's there and she'll be really happy to see you, as will Pop.
"Good idea."
"Mom will probably stay at the hospital with Pop tonight so you can drive her car home. I assume you'll want to stay in your old room."
"Yeah, that's fine. I guess we can figure out a plan for tomorrow when it gets here."
"I can sure use your help at the nursery tomorrow; we'll be short-handed with both Mom and Pop not there."
"Sure, I can do that. I doubt much has changed since I worked there. I'll bet you still have the same old cash register."
"Ha-ha," Meg laughed, "no, we actually have a new electronic one. Matt talked us into getting it and it's tied into the new computer system that helps us manage our inventory."
"That's a great idea; should have done it sooner." Leo knew the advantages of such a system and had suggested it several years ago.
"Here we are; now to find a parking place." Meg drove into the hospital parking lot and began searching.
Leo's father and mother were excited and happy to see him and there were plenty of hugs and kisses for everyone. Pop was still in ICU and would stay there until he could be evaluated the next morning. As expected, Mom would stay the night and Leo drove her car home.
By the time Leo returned to the hospital the next morning, his father had already been moved to a private room and was resting comfortably. The doctor was pleased with Pop's progress, which made everyone else feel better. Leo stayed until about 10:00 A.M. and then drove to nursery. The plan they had worked out was for Leo to drive Pop's car to the hospital and then go to the nursery so Meg could pick up her kids and take them to visit their grandfather. Meg would then take her mother home to get cleaned up and change clothes and relax a little before returning to the hospital to stay the night.
Leo parked in the employee section of the nursery parking lot and walked to the office. Actually, the office was an old two-story house that had been converted rather than torn down. It added a quaint feel to the nursery that had become part of its customer appeal.
Leo hadn't come prepared to work at the family business but was able to find a pair of tan shorts in his old room, which seemed to fit. When he got to the office, Meg threw him a polo shirt bearing The Bandini Nursery logo on the left breast and teasingly ordered him to get into uniform.
Leo had been correct in his assumption that things probably hadn't changed much since he worked there. In only a few minutes Meg had him up to speed and he felt right at home. After all, he'd grown up working there and had detailed knowledge of the business. Even the new electronic cash register was a breeze to operate.
It must have been about 10:45 when an elderly lady walked through the door; she was carrying what appeared to be a short branch from an azalea bush and it looked dead. Leo noticed she appeared to be about his height, maybe an inch shorter. He was more prone to notice such things because of his own height limitations.
"Hello, Mrs. Murphy, can we help you?" Meg asked.
"Oh yes, Dear, is Matt here?"
"Yes ma'am, he is; can I page him for you?"
"Oh no, Dear, I'll just look around, I'm sure I'll find him. Thank you." And with that, Mrs. Murphy turned and walked outside.
"Does Matt have a special clientele?" Leo Asked.
"Oh, not exactly. But there are a few 'elderly' ladies who like to bring in a dead branch as an excuse to flirt with him. He's very good with them and they always buy something." Meg then chuckled to herself.
A few minutes later Leo was standing behind the counter, having just rung up a sale for a customer. He casually turned around, looked out the window and stopped dead in his tracks. He even stopped breathing for a few seconds.
'My-my, what have we here?' he thought. The lady he'd just come to know as Mrs. Murphy was talking to a young man who towered over her by at least a foot. Her hand rested intimately on the young man's forearm and she was smiling up into his face like she was in love. The young man smiled back in a very charming way.
Leo studied the young man as best he could. The cream-colored baseball cap on top of his head had the letters 'USC' on the front. A bush of tight blond curls stuck out from around the band of his cap, the sunlight causing the curls to shimmer. Sunglasses prevented Leo from seeing the man's eyes but the face was angular with a long, narrow nose. The smile was wide and the skin at the corners of his mouth crinkled neatly into tight folds. The jaw was strong and tapered down to a narrow chin that seemed perfect for the rest of his face. A long, strong neck, not thin but not thick either, blended beautifully with very broad shoulders that made you want to touch them. The arms and legs were long and solid without being muscle-bound. The chest was slightly rounded and Leo noticed how the company polo shirt hung loosely around his pectorals, indicating a lean physique underneath. He wore a pair of tan relaxed-fit cargo shorts that just covered his knees. The crowning touch was a pair of Timberland wheat colored logger-type boots with white socks sticking out the top. Just then a gust of wind swirled through the yard, kicking up some dust. The gust also flattened the polo shirt against the Matt's abdomen clearly outlining ripples underneath.
"Who's that?" he quietly asked his sister. Meg turned around and leaned to her left to see whom Leo was asking about.
"Oh, that's Matt, Matt Close. You remember him. We talked about him on the way in from the airport last night." Leo realized his mouth was gaping open and he closed it.
"That's... that's that scrawny kid who used to work here in the summers?" he almost gasped in disbelief.
"Not so scrawny any more, is he!" Meg smiled. "I call him our 'gentle giant; he's the nicest person you'll ever meet. Now you can see why the elderly ladies like to visit here."
"Guess so," Leo agreed.
"He reminds me of the character Jack Carter on the TV show "Eureka."
"Who?"
"Haven't you ever seen the show 'Eureka'? I think the actor's name is Colin Ferguson; he plays a character named Jack Carter who's the sheriff of a town filled with science geniuses. It's a show on the Si-Fi channel. Anyway, Matt's a real hunk, just like Carter."
"Never seen the show; don't watch much TV unless it's sports. Bet he has to beat the women away with a stick." By now Leo noticed the absence of a ring on Matt's left hand.
"Ha-ha, not likely!" Megan replied. She noticed the questioning look on her brother's face and felt she needed to amplify her comment. "You see... he's gay," she said sounding very casual about it. Then she realized she shouldn't have outed matt and tried to mitigate her mistake. "But please don't say anything; it was wrong for me to blurt that out but - you were bound to find out anyway."
"Oh." Leo turned and looked out the window again but Matt was gone. "I don't have a problem with it... but do Mom and Pop know?" he asked as he turned back to measure his sister's reactions to the conversation.
"Yes, in fact, Pop was the one who told me. He said Mom already knew so there was no need to discuss it further."
"I'm surprised! They're such strong Catholics."
"If you stick around long enough, there are a lot of things about our parents that might surprise you." Meg smiled at her brother.
About that time Mrs. Murphy walked back into the office and said she needed to buy a mitecide that Matt had recommended. Leo helped her find it and she seemed quite happy.
"I'd best be getting home; it sure looks like a storm is coming," Mrs. Murphy said as Leo was ringing up the sale. She was soon gone and Leo returned to looking out the window. He still couldn't see Matt anywhere so he went back to helping other customers, with an occasional glance out the window.
It must have been fifteen or twenty minutes later that a loud clap of thunder rattled the old house. Moments later, customers began running toward their cars and the employees ran for cover in the office just as the sky opened and rain came pouring down. Six employees in all gathered in the office, Matt being the last through the door with evidence of large drops of rain on his shirt.
Leo tried not to stare and had to make a conscious effort at it. Once the door was closed Meg took over.
"Y'all are probably wondering why I called this meeting." Everyone laughed at her obvious humor. "Actually," she continued, "I want to tell you that Pop is doing very well and the doctor says he may be able to go home in a few days. Mom and Pop and the whole family want to thank y'all for the flowers, they're lovely." Then looking around and then at Leo, Meg placed her hand on her brother's shoulder.
"Most of you haven't worked here long enough to remember my brother Leo, but here he is." Meg turned her head and looked directly at Matt, who, as the last arrival was closest to where Meg and Leo were standing. "Matt, I think you might remember Leo, although you were only part time when he left for college."
"Yes, I remember Leo," Matt replied. His first action was to remove his cap, a polite gesture. Leo observed that under the cap Matt's hair was flat against his head while the tight curls around the side of his head remained in place. Matt then removed his sunglasses and extended his hand. Leo felt his knees grow weak when he saw Matt's radiant blue eyes smile at him.
Leo naturally looked at the floor when his shyness took control. Looking up briefly, he watched his small hand disappear into Matt's grasp. With his head bowed slightly, Leo glanced up into Matt's face for a moment and again at their hands. Matt's grip felt warm and firm and comforting. He almost didn't want to let go. But it occurred to him that perhaps he was holding Matt's hand a little too long so he released it. Thankfully his sister was moving on to another introduction.
While Meg introduced the other five employees, Matt leaned back against the wall.
'Yes Leo, I remember you all too well.' Matt thought. 'You were a fourteen-year-old's wet dream. I thought you were the hottest thing I'd ever seen back than. What was that, ten years ago? Oh, how I used to fantasize about you when I was young. I'm sure you'd be embarrassed if you knew how many gallons of spooge I sacrificed in your honor. Then you went and got married on me. And now you're back. For how long? Did you bring your wife? No, forget it Matt! You can't go there. Remember what Uncle David says, don't get involved with straight guys, they'll only break your heart.' Matt looked down at the floor as if to disconnect from the object of his youthful desire. The thundershower had been brief and was now reduced to a very light drizzle. Matt pushed away from the wall, opened the door and walked out into the yard.
(To be continued.)