Ayden's eyes 7
I set up for another day at work; it doesn't take years to do good art although it apparently took Leonardo four years to fine tune Mona. I can comfortably turn out one or two a week, that's if I don't agonize over it by changing lines and things. I am happy if I get the essence right. Every painting should have an essence whether it's a tree or a human face, it is easy for me to get my boys right because I know what their insides look like and I put a lot of love into every one of their paintings.
I had a small giggle to myself and thought I might have some fun with Evan and just ring him and see how his boner is going. It really didn't bother me because I know what his job is like, when I stayed with him he was forever working back. I guess it was a means to an end and partnerships are hard to get I think but maybe a special dinner tonight.
I worked on both their stuffed gobs then played with the rose garden until I was completely satisfied with it. All the paintings I was working on were personal, they won't be shown or sold except maybe the gnome ones, I have started to expand them into a series which brings me to my next idea. Children's stories, but I don't know the first thing about writing them.
By two I'd had enough so after feeding chubs I dressed him in his going out jumpsuit and headed for the local nursery. I wanted to replant Evan's mum's rose garden. I had no idea what she had in it so I thought I would get ten bright ones, bushy types so they would spread out. After talking to the nurseryman he helped me with blood and bone and ten pretty big plants. Luckily they stored in the back of my car with little fuss.
I found her garden shed poked in the corner of the property and pulled out a shovel then spent an hour or so planting them. I reckon I did a good job and got a workout at the same time; I could love this life. Strike that, I do love this life.
I am over working for today so I got online and researched baby food then Ayden started crying so I picked him up and checked him out. His cheeks were so red so I rubbed some gum stuff the nurse had given me onto the bumps then sat and cuddled him and sympathised with him every time he moaned. Finally, he went down for a nap so I researched new teeth.
I was so full of information when Evan came in it felt like my head was bursting. After a lot of kissing I sat him down and started talking about what I had learnt. He had been doing much the same in between clients and we came up with pretty much the same solutions so I would be off to the chemist tomorrow then the greengrocer. Evan cooked tonight, I guess he was sick of my fatty food because I ended up with a chicken breast and salad. He had changed into his shorts without a top and we three chilled on the sofa. Ayden was dribbling copious amounts of spit so I handed him the teething ring the nice nurse had given me.
There is something sad about a baby's cry, it's heartbreaking when you can't ease the discomfort. I suppose we had better get used to hearing it though and maybe he will grow out of it around thirteen or fourteen years old. I held Evan in my arms and kissed his lips, he was half asleep so I moved the blankets snugly around him. His leg was across mine and his breathing slowed as he fell asleep. I closed my eyes willing sleep to come then I heard the moaning.
"I'll get it," I said as I moved out of bed and carefully picked our son up to take him down to the lounge room. Evan woke us around seven and the sun was already up, we had finally fallen asleep around one I think. Two big blue eyes were watching me as I slowly opened mine, Ayden wanted to play. Last night's drama all forgotten so I took him to his room which I have to get organised and he needs changing. I then put him on the floor but he wanted to practice his standing and tried to pull himself upright holding the sofa cushion. It took him ages just to get some sort of balance, his little feet were everywhere but my big hand was on his back for support
"Have you got a big day today babe?"
"Yeah I'm in court all day, the guy I'm defending is as guilty as hell but I've got to believe he's innocent."
"Doesn't make sense Evan, if you know he's guilty tell him to plead guilty."
"Not so easy Den, he's entitled to a defense lawyer who is supposed to make him look innocent."
"What did he do?"
"Can't say but if he's found guilty he will go to jail for a month or so, if he had of pleaded guilty he would be free on a bond, crazy people." I thought about it for a minute and decided I would leave it to my partner here to deal with.
"Do you want to help paint Ayden's bedroom babe, I thought we could start on the weekend?"
"Sure, what are your plans?"
"I don't know, maybe we can choose the wall color together. I already have an idea on some new paintings. Like six works across one wall, kid's cartoon stuff, but that's as far as I've got."
"Okay Den, we can pick a nice color and do the painting first, that's the harder job, are you sure you want to move him into it so soon?"
"Yes, he should have been in his own room months ago, it's not that he's going too far away."
I was about to go on my run when I ran into the lady next door at her postbox again. This time I found out her name, Rita and she is a widow. Her kids have left home and she moved into this smaller house to save on housework. She gave me some tips on Ayden's teething and told me to buy the better brand soother for him. I was on a roll so I asked her about food.
"I'll pop some recipes in your postbox dear and buy your veggies at the greengrocer not the supermarket." I thanked her then we were on our way.
While we were there I called into the paint shop; Ayden wasn't interested in the color charts, he was too busy eyeing off all the lovely things he could put in his mouth. I then went to the chemist and while waiting I got chatting with another mum, her little girl was adorable and she also gave me some tips on food. The chemist suggested a good lotion for his gums and after I paid I popped some in his mouth. My run home was long because I called into the little park around the corner from us and gave him a gentle swing. He chuckled his way through it then just after we left he was asleep again.
Popping him in the playpen with a pillow and his blanket then I began working on Evan's nude and the more I stroked the brush over his golden body the more I touched myself. After highlighting the dimple on his firm butt I struggled with the sun's rays but got there in the end. With an ultra fine brush I began adding my take on sparkles, not too much, just enough to highlight.
I stood back and criticised my work then bundled baby up to take him downstairs.
My mind was still on the painting when Evan arrived home and boy, he looked so fucking good in his suit.
"Did they hang him?"
"Who?"
"Your client, was he hung?"
"Yes Den, he got two months so we are appealing."
"Serves him bloody right."
"I have to admit I had a happy moment inside when the judge jailed him."
"I got the charts today so do you want to pick the color?"
"Den you're better with colors than me but I'll have a look later." I smiled at him and I suddenly had the urge to take his shirt off and just leave him in his suit pants.
I followed him to the bedroom and when he had it off I started on his chest, licking his nips.
"Den, I've got to get changed, stop it." His hand pushed my lips off his left one.
"Okay, I'll see you in the lounge." I had only taken one step when his hands took hold of my T-shirt and whipped it over my head and his mouth was all over my chest instantly.
"I finished your nude today."
"Oh, where is it?" He looked around.
"Upstairs, you can go look if you want." With four long strides he was up that staircase, I think he was eager to see it; I followed at a slower pace.
"Well what do you think?"
"It's not me."
"It is you Evan, all of it."
I think he didn't believe me as his hand reached out to touch the fairy people.
"It's still wet bub."
"Den it's beautiful, is this how you really see me?"
"Yes, you're so beautiful, I wish you could see it too. I wish a lot of things bub but that is my first wish, that you can see how beautiful you are." I moved in next to him and heard a deep gulp but my intention wasn't to make him feel down.
"Evan, this painting doesn't go anywhere near how I see you, it's only a small part of you." I kissed his lips and he looked at me strangely.
"I couldn't love you anymore than I do right at this very moment Den, you have made me look complete with just a brush, this painting is amazing."
He deeply kissed me and we held each other for some time then I covered it. He doesn't know but I have one more thing to do to it, I want to paint me among the small carnival, a sort of, `Where's Wally?' cameo.
We had a nice dinner then he gave Ayden a bath while I washed up. The most gorgeous sight was when he arrived back, he had Ayden's hands in his and was slowly trying to walk him up the hallway. Ayden was all giggles and spit again but he loved his little sort of walk. I put some more of the gum deadener in his mouth then put him on the sofa with Evan. He was going over some paperwork and Ayden was helping. I thought it might be important so I moved over and sat with them, just to keep chubs occupied.
"More criminal stuff?"
"No hun, these are ours and Ayden's power of attorney papers."
"Eh?"
He looked over to me like I had said something mean.
"You do want me to have a say in his life don't you?"
"Of course I do but what do you mean by his power papers?"
"Den, god forbid if you have an accident and can't make decisions. I want to be the one to make them for you and Ayden if anything happens, like I would want you to look out for my well being also."
"I didn't think of that bub, yes let's do it."
"It's just that if something did go wrong we wouldn't have any say in what they do to us. I certainly wouldn't have any say, your mum would make the decisions."
"Where do I sign?" I was eager to get it done.
"In a minute and you have to sign Ayden's too."
"Thank you for looking out for us bub, I would never have thought of that."
I leaned over and kissed him, I'm a distraction I know.
"See the new job is working for you in a big way."
"What are you talking about?"
"You've only been a partner for two weeks and you've already got a crim jailed and our power of attorney summed up, but you forgot one thing."
"And what is that you idiot?" He smiled.
"Don't we have to do the money one too?"
"Den that was done months ago, I got you to sign that when...you know."
"Oh, okay then but you had better prepare the court one then."
"Tell me, what court one?" He's exasperated now.
"For when they arrest me for doing you over."
"What?"
"Tonight I'm going to do you over like you've never been done before and I'm sure there's a law against that." I gave him my sly look.
He didn't do anything, just went back to his papers but it eventually got the better of him.
After staring at me he picked up a now sleepy boy and put him to bed then he came back and grabbed my hand and walked me up the hallway.
The first day of solids, potato and pumpkin mash and it went down okay but there was more food on the floor than in his tummy. We both had a go with the spoon but he wasn't getting it so I will try squished banana at lunchtime. Evan laughed his way through his breakfast and thought it was so funny, I thought he had the best smile I have ever seen on anyone.
"Are you staying home today?"
"No."
"Oh, I thought you might have stayed home, like you're maybe sore or something."
"Den, I'm not sore."
"Good, want to go again?"
The doorbell went around twelve and it was Tony, he had got back from London yesterday. I invited him in for coffee and he filled me in on what was happening. He said Spence wants me to ship twenty of my works over to him as soon as possible as people are screaming for them. I was telling him I hadn't had a sale since I got back and was thinking I might recall all my works and try my luck by opening my own gallery. He thought it was a good idea but urged me to try Spencer's offer first.
"Den, it's because our works were only advertised over there, there wasn't much written about it here. I had my assistant save the papers and very little was said."
"Well I still have around thirty of my old works in storage plus the Melbourne galleries, maybe I could sort out some."
"Have you done much since you came home?"
"A few, I have some new ideas I want to try, do you want to have a look?"
"Sure Den."
I made sure bubs was locked in his playpen and showed Tony upstairs.
I showed him my fairy people and told him I was going to do a series for Ayden's room. He was very diplomatic but I got his drift, he was saying the dwarf and fish dragon were a bit scary for a kid's room and was actually saying I could do better. He liked my rose garden painting but thank god he didn't ask why I did it. He thought a few others were also good and the stack I had in the corner would sell easily.
"What are you working on there Den?" He pointed to my easel with the sheet over it.
"Private business, I'm doing something for Evan."
"He's back?"
"Yes, he came home three days before we did, this is his house and he's letting Ayden and I live here with him, although he's only shifted his clothes and a few bits and pieces in so far." His eyebrow lifted. I didn't want to tell him but he's a friend and would guess sooner or later.
"That's so cool Den and I'm so happy for you, he's a great catch and so are you, I'm so bloody jealous."
"Well it took some time to convince him but I think he's happy now." I grinned.
"I knew he was in love with you, I could tell the night of our date because he didn't shut up, you were the third person in the room. I think that's why a relationship wasn't pursued earlier; you were in the way."
"Anyway, it's all over now, he's off the market." I laughed. I made more coffee and then we planned how to get the paintings to Spencer. Tony suggested we hire a small shipping container, he had already made a list of the items he wanted to ship plus he had commissions he had to make, he would be busy for the next month or two. We agreed to get together in four weeks to see where we both were at.
We talked more as I fed Ayden some banana, but he wanted his bottle then I heard the front door close and Evan came down the hallway and sort of froze.
"Hey you're home early."
"Umm yes, I got some free time. Hi Tony when did you get back?"
I burped the boy and he smiled for days while they caught up then I put him back in his jail before placing his blanket over him; he sleeps a lot.
"Coffee babe?" I was talking to Evan who looked at Tony and his face lit up like Santa's suit...what's his problem?
"Yes please Den." You could cut the air with a knife so I went one further and kissed the top of his head as I passed.
"Coming up darling heart." It was then that Tony let fly with a deep laugh.
"You should see your face Evan, my god are you embarrassed, your boyfriend kissed you?" Poor Evan, he didn't know where to look, so I pushed him further.
"Did you come home early for a quickie love chops?"
Then I couldn't hold back and by the time Evan cracked a smile there were tears streaming down our faces.
"I already knew Evan, it's cool, I think you both are made for each other and also mate, it's about time." He slapped poor Evan on his back.
"I just thought well, you know." He was talking to me.
"Oh you thought I might like to hide in this house with you and not tell our friends we are in a relationship?"
"Well it's ..." He trailed off.
"No way lover boy, I love you more than life itself and I'm so proud of what you have done in your life so no, I'm not going to hide the fact that apparently I'm gay, and guess what Evan? You are too." I leaned in and kissed his lips, he didn't resist.
Bugger it, I'm not going to hide my feelings for him, no way.
"I think that's my cue to leave. I will be in touch Den, start painting and Den, those are some ugly fairy folk, don't scare the kids." He laughed as I showed him out.
When I came back Evan was standing by the back door.
"Do you want some lunch babe?"
"No thanks Den." I could tell he was a little upset looking.
"You okay baby?"
"Den, I'm sorry I froze up, I should have known you told Tony, are you sure you want to do this?"
"With you yes, I want to tell everybody how happy you make me, I do love you you know."
I stood behind him and put my arms around his waist.
"Den I love you so much, I wouldn't mind if it was just us two. I don't want to share you with everybody, I like being just us." I thought about what he was saying and I felt pretty much the same.
"Suits me just fine but it's only Tony baby. I didn't want you to get embarrassed when he asks you for another date and I believe you talk non-stop about some artist you love anyway." I kissed his neck then licked his ear.
"I love you so much Den."
"I love you too Evan, just move around and look over to your left." He slowly moved and I still held onto him, he gasped and put one of his hands to his face.
"No."
"Yes that's the first ten and every month I will add two or three more until that whole patch is crammed with roses. By the time it's full I estimate maybe three years will have passed. I am aiming for one hundred or more bushes and that's how many years I want us to be together."
"Den I..."
"Shush baby, is one hundred years a lifetime. I can't remember, maybe it means forever or eternity, yes I think it means eternity, do you know Evan?"
"Eternity Den, it means eternity." I squeezed him tightly then started kissing his neck and rocking him from side to side.
"Why did you come home early for baby?"
"I was thinking about ringing you and..." I never let him finish.
"Come down the backyard I want to show you the garden shed."
He gave me a worried look as I closed the door behind us then dropped to my knees. Poor Evan, he just doesn't know how gay I can be.
Ayden was awake when we returned and his dummy was working overtime so I boiled some potato and peas then did some mashed banana just in case. His head wobbled from side to side, he just didn't know how to eat this stuff. Evan was laughing at his antics but then he had a go and you guessed it, I actually saw him swallow some, he's a natural father that one. I cleaned Ayden then the high chair and the floor, then he had a bottle of milky formula.
I snuggled into Evan as we watched a movie and his underarm was so masculine smelling, how the hell did I ever get to this? A year ago I wouldn't have even contemplated it, well maybe I did every now and then but I just didn't know much about it.
"You have to pick a color for Ayden's room."
"I ticked the one I liked this morning Den, a very pale blue with maybe a white ceiling."
"Okay done, do you want me to pick the paint up?"
"We can do it Saturday don't you think?"
"You tired?"
"Yes."
"Let's go to bed then."
Our son was snoring and his dummy was stuck under his chin so I put it against his mouth and he instantly slurped it in and started gently sucking. Kissing him goodnight once more we moved into our bed. I pulled Evan into me with our legs entwined and it wasn't long before I heard his deep breaths, he was soon asleep and everything's good in my life again, thank you god.
At the paint store Ayden wanted to buy everything, he even almost had a paintbrush in his stroller, I suppose he wants to help. Evan had the blue paint mixed and I grabbed the ceiling white, we paid and put our stuff in the back of his SUV then went off to the greengrocers. I picked Ayden up and was showing him all the fresh veggies but he wasn't interested except for the oranges, maybe because they were bright and round like a ball. I bought various fruit and veggies then we were off again.
"When are you going to move all your stuff in bubs?"
"I do need more clothes so maybe I will go there after work Monday."
"But what about your furniture and personal stuff?"
"Well I was waiting to be asked if I wanted to move in Den."
"Oh for fucks sake." I gave up, he muffled a giggle.
I suppose he will eventually move it all in, he told me later he will do it bit by bit then like me, rent the apartment out.
"Well when the money comes don't forget to get the accountant to do mine and yours."
"Den, that's your money and I really can't take that."
"Umm let me think for a minute, I love you, you are mine for eternity, you're my son's father, my wife's best friend, my best friend, did I miss anything?"
"No." He smiled.
"Do we have a final understanding then?" He let go his breath.
"Yes."
"Good, now you are taking us to Chadstone to buy us a pair of rings with that big rise you got the other week."
"We've got to paint Den,"
"Okay, next week it is then."
He found some old footy shorts of mine that fitted him perfectly and my mind was only on one thing so when he got up the ladder, it shook violently as he let fly into my gob.
"We are never going to get this done Den."
"Have faith bubs, have faith."
We worked up until Ayden woke and I had put him in the back room by the open window because of the fumes. Evan organised dinner while I turned the fan on then opened all the windows to try and get rid of the smell.
I picked up our boy and changed him on the breakfast bench and Evan glared at me so I ignored him. He called me for dinner and it was delicious, then he fed Ayden his mashed banana.
Evan's coughing started around ten, he had been restless earlier on but I didn't take much notice. It got worse around twelve so I went and got him a glass of water and put the bedside lamp on. I stopped in my tracks because his face and eyes had swollen a bit and he was really hot when I felt his forehead.
I grabbed Ayden's travel bag and a couple of milks out of the fridge then got Evan into some clothes while all the time he was saying,
"I'm okay Den."
I called an ambulance which will be quicker and it had occurred to me he might have an allergy to the paint. I put the front light on and opened the door then I started crying and I couldn't stop, he looked so sick. The vomiting began but I didn't care and cleaned him up and as I was wiping his face with a cool towel he told me he loved me.
The ambos got a very quick rundown from me.
"His mum was asthmatic, we painted today, he may be allergic, he spewed, help him.
"Allergic reaction to the paint, was it water based?" he said as he gave Evan an injection while I looked at the paint cans.
"Walls water, ceiling oil based," I quickly spat out.
"Ceiling oil paint will bring on a reaction; Evan listen to me do you think you can walk?" He stared at the ambo then nodded.
"Okay he has to go to hospital for a few hours in the meantime, I'll feed him the good stuff, oxygen." He patted me on the shoulder as I readied Ayden and I also felt that turn in my stomach, why did I buy that one? What if I've damaged Evan for life? There is no way I could live with that, no fucking way.
"Mr. Curtis are you going to follow us?" the nice ambo asked, I replied I would.
He was calm and smiled a lot while I was frantic and double checked I had enough supplies for Ayden. Rita was out the front when I got there as she had seen the ambulance lights. I gave her a quick rundown and she offered to look after Ayden, I was gracious I think but I declined and she said she understood. I asked her for her number and she put it in my phone.
"Will he be okay?"
"Yes Mr. Curtis, it might take a few hours to stabilise him but I'm sure he will be right as rain."
"Is it asthma?"
"I don't think so; I think maybe he has a reaction to the paint." Again Evan had a slight smile on his face and I figured he was trying to calm me down but how could I, my stomach is going insane? The trip to the hospital was swift because at that time of the night there was little traffic.
I parked while I watched the ambulance pull up at emergency. My stomach really hurt and I was doing my deep breathing exercises that I had learnt when Carol had passed. At the nurses desk I enquired about Evan and the nurse checked her computer and asked me if I was family, I replied that I was.
"He's being looked at now Mr. Curtis; could you fill out this form for me?"
"Of course."
It was a standard form, address, phone, stuff like that but as I wrote in the answers my brain was on other things, and it wasn't nice.
My Evan, how could I do this to him when his steel rod is still holding me up? I can't even comprehend what would happen if I lost him. My tears started again.
A nice lady warmed up Ayden's milk and he sucked away gently. I don't know where Evan was because they had taken him out the back and it was another two hours before they let me in to see him. There was a row of curtained off cubicles and he was in the third one, I looked in as the nurse was doing something with a machine.
"He's going to be okay, we just have to keep the antibiotics up and hopefully that will clear his system. He obviously hasn't experienced this before and is lucky it isn't asthma, it could have been fatal."
I moved to the other side of the bed where there was a seat and I placed Ayden's basket on it then put my hand on Evan's arm. His eyes opened and they were so red, almost looking like the next step would be blood pouring out of them.
"How do you feel?"
"Okay, I'm sorry Den I don't want to be any trouble."
"You're not, now tell me how you really feel?"
"Very tired but I wanted to see you and Ayden before I slept. My eyes feel raw and tight but I'm breathing much easier." He lightly coughed.
"Well you just rest up, we will sit here and watch you for the rest of the night."
"No Den, go on home, you need to sleep too, come and pick me up tomorrow afternoon, I'll only be sleeping."
"I'll think about it, just close your eyes and sleep okay?"
"I love you so much Den."
"And I love you too, now get some rest, we will talk more about love tomorrow." I kissed his puffy lips. Sitting with him for the next hour Ayden stirred, he must need changing again. The nurse that was checking on him on and off said he would be all right and I was satisfied Evan would recover quickly so I made the decision to go home.
In the waiting room I encountered the ambo again and he inquired how he was and I told him and thanked him.
I changed bubs giving him plenty of kisses as I did but he was more interested in his dummy. I made sure the house was locked up then put him in beside me making double sure the pillows were in place. Then I cried, I cried so hard and everything that has happened to me poured into my head, I tossed and turned for the rest of the night trying to sleep. I wanted Evan in bed with me, pretty selfish thought when he's suffering in a hospital bed.
It was nearly dawn when I managed to drop off but then felt something rock the bed and froze, there was someone in the room with us. The light was coming through the curtains so I jumped up and turned and standing there was Evan, I nearly died, my sobs came and I slumped down on the bed shaking.
"I see you found someone else to sleep with while I was away." I couldn't laugh or talk, he had petrified me.
I looked over at Ayden and he was still in his own little world.
"Den, are you okay?"
"Yes, you just scared me that's all, why are you here?"
"They let me go, the swelling is going down and my lungs are healthy so there wasn't any reason to keep me in."
"Why didn't you ring me?"
"Hun you needed to sleep too, it's nearly noon Den."
"I'm sorry, I should have been there for you." My shaking had settled down some but it still spooked me.
"Come on I'll make you a coffee then you can tell me why you're so agitated."
"I'm okay bub, just a dream."
"Bullshit Den, come down to the kitchen." I was so happy he was going to be all right and when I get my head together I will show him how much.
I checked Ayden's nappy and he was okay so I packed more pillows around him and went to find Evan.
He was sitting at the table playing with his phone and his face lit up when he saw me. I leant over and gave him a smacker of a kiss, he skidded back and I straddle him.
"You scared me that's all."
"No Den, you were terrified, what's happened that I don't know about?"
"Nothing baby, I was just a little lonely you weren't here with me that's all."
"I could tell something was up as soon as the taxi dropped me off, the driveway gate was closed."
"I must have locked it when I got home, I can't remember why."
"Well that's the first time I can ever remember it being closed." He kissed me some more and I settled down a bit and my mind switched to thinking of rubbing back and forth on his crotch.
"Den I need to have my coffee then go hug Ayden, can we do this later?" I got off his knees but my shorts accidentally fell below my dick.
"Oops."
"Den later please." I pulled them up and it looks like the honeymoon is over but maybe it's a good thing, because I'm still dog tired.
We talked about what happened to him and I said I would get the ceiling finished after he goes to work next week but he said he was going into work tomorrow. I argued with him and he said I needed a good fuck to settle me down, then he dropped his shorts.
I snuggled up to him listening to his raspy breath and thought I shouldn't sleep because he may take a turn for the worse and I can't have that, we need him, last night proved that. I'm not cured, that awful feeling of dread is still with me, lurking in the shadows. We showered and Evan was getting ready for work, he slipped into his suit jacket as I got to the bedroom.
"I've called your work and told them you won't be in today, maybe Thursday."
"No you didn't Den, and I'm perfectly all right to go in today, I have a lot of work to do."
"Oh another crim bubs?"
"No Den, other stuff." He kissed me.
"I will miss you today." I moaned.
He kissed me again then I followed him down to the lounge room offering him another coffee.
He put Ayden down then kissed me again.
"I will see you tonight."
"Are you sure you won't stay home?"
"Yes," he sort of groaned out because I had him by the pouch. I am getting good at this gay thing.