Ayden's Eyes 51
"Den, Den, wake up." I heard Evan's voice he was shaking me.
"Den, are you okay?" I woke with a start, my legs shot out and my hands smacked the porch timbers to steady myself.
"Ayden, where is he?" Was my immediate thought.
"In bed fast asleep Den, he's fine."
"What the fuck just happened?" I was back to my reality.
"I don't quite know Den, you were painting and then you just collapsed onto the porch; come on let's get you up." He took both my hands then pulled me into his arms and I looked around at the shack. It was all still here and that horrible cold room I was in had disappeared. Evan was still my beautiful man and there were no ghosts or fairy folk around, I was safe.
As he held me I looked across at the painting. Two kings, two queens, two princes and a magnificent knight in golden armour, whose hair was flowing around his perfect body in the gentle breeze. It was heartbreakingly beautiful. So many butterflies, so many fairy folk. I looked into Evan's eyes because I had recalled a very sad memory. He had put up with far more than I had actually realized. I remembered the agonizing nights he spent by my bedside. His deep sobs, his beautiful voice and his gentle touches. I also remembered the night Carol and Ayden fell and Evan's mum had died, he held me in his arms and we both cried into the night. He had told me he loved me then, and I told him that I had fallen deeply in love with him. We had kissed passionately then slept holding each other tightly. That's all I remembered, but I knew I had completely loved him way back then.
My hand was sweeping his hair back from his eyes and I saw his deep, beautiful soul that lay deep within him, a pure heart within a perfect shell. I gently kissed my knight who didn't resist, then I whispered,
"I am so, so sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry baby as long as you're back with us now." He kissed my lips.
"I had a complete breakdown didn't I?" He stared into my eyes for a long time, then his head dropped heavily onto my shoulder and I felt him relax, take a deep breath and whisper,
"Yes."
He slowly lifted his head and kissed my eyelids then he held me tighter as he gently rubbed my back.
"I remember Ayden falling over the balcony with Carol, she saved him, she saved his life, and you saved mine that day. I loved you then and I remember you telling me you loved me." I looked into those beautiful azure blue eyes.
"Yes Den, she sadly did fall but she had done that on purpose to save Ayden. She gave her life for him. You had a complete breakdown, even though you had taken Ayden upstairs and checked he wasn't hurt at the time. And yes we faced our deep love for each other. Den you spent over two months in that horrible place before you came to live with me." I stared at him gently nodding my head, understanding what he had said.
"I know, I remembered. I remember being in the hospital. I remember the awful shocks I received and I remember you being there every day. I remember the warmth you gave me that night and your gentle kisses." His hand touched my neck.
"That's good Den, the doctors said it will help if you do, but I wasn't to tell you anything that happened, your memory had to come back naturally. I think your trancing is the result of your memory trying to push back. I have been so scared it wouldn't return. I found you then lost you that night, it was horrible."
"I didn't dream Susan up did I, please tell me she's still here in our lives?"
"No you didn't dream her up Den, she was Ayden's nanny from day one, the magic of the bay is paying her back now." He kissed my forehead.
"Ayden's Eyes," I whispered.
"Yes Den?"
"I thought I had lost you when I painted his eyes. I remember feeling so bad inside and all I really was thinking about was Ayden's death when I painted, and would I feel the same way when you left? I was terrified at the thought; I didn't want to lose you." I stroked his face.
"Tonight when I tranced I remembered being in hospital. Bub, when I was in there I dreamt of all our friends, this shack, Horse, Rita, Mike, even Spencer and Cynthia, the fairy folk, butterflies, the whole lot. How the fuck did I know they were coming into our lives?"
"I don't know Den but it's over now, it was a dreadful time for all of us." He kissed my lips.
"Evan I knew I loved you so much before the accident. The breakdown must have brought my fairy folk on; they protected me. Every time I slipped into a deep dream they bombarded my brain, they were healing me. They protected Ayden when he fell, they have always been around him."
"Yes they have Den. I watched you in the hospital and you were dreaming non-stop, sometimes you even laughed, sometimes it seemed you were talking to someone. I told you repeatedly I loved you deeply every day." He held me tighter.
"I remember, you protected me too." My urge to kiss him again was so great and he held me while I plastered his gorgeous face with plenty of them.
"How can I help you with what you went through? How do I make you feel right again?" My hands held his face because I didn't want to look away.
"Love me Den, just love me, that's all I want."
"Every second of the day Bub, every heartbeat, every ray of sunshine feeds my love for you."
"Come with me Den, you need to rest for a bit, we can talk more later." He blushed.
Evan gently steered me towards our bedroom and I had to see Ayden before I went in, he was sleeping peacefully with a big smile on his face. His dummy was lying next to him on his sheet all forgotten. His eye lids were flickering; I think he's a dreamer like his dad. My heart thumped hard as I bent down and gently kissed him goodnight.
"Den just relax for a moment then I want you to have a drink of water and a bite of that sandwich." Thank you Rita, or was it Mike that placed them there? We stripped off and then crawled into bed. I held him close still stroking his face and kissing his lips. I couldn't pull him in any closer than he was, I could feel his breath on my ear and neck as he gently whisper kissed me.
"What happened?" He stared at me for awhile then he told me,
"You had completely collapsed by the following morning in my apartment. I couldn't get any sense out of you when you woke up, so I had to admit you to hospital. Even though you were holding Ayden, you didn't see him, you kept talking about his black eyes Den. You didn't talk much for nearly seven weeks, you dreamt mostly and later on you did plenty of dark drawings. They had given you a series of mild shock treatments and when you came out of it you had forgotten a lot of stuff."
"I had forgotten we had fallen in love, and I had loved you so much."
"Yes Den, but I prayed every day you would remember me. I missed you so much, I was so lonely."
"So I went back to your place."
"Yes Den, you were back to pretty much normal by the time they discharged you, that's when you started to heal inside. And that's when you began living again, your drawings were so dark before that Den, even they couldn't help you. It was like you had lost all the colour from your life"
"I loved you so much, did I tell you in the hospital that I did Bub?"
"Not quite Den, you had forgotten that important fact and it was devastating. As you know, not long after you got home we moved you to mum's house, you painted, ran, played with your son and was generally happy and back on top. You even pushed me into dating Tony. Do you realise how completely unloved that made me feel?"
"Oh Bub, I am so sorry, I knew I loved you but my mind resisted the urge to tell you. I had forgotten baby, please forgive me."
"I forgave you a long time ago Den. I knew Tony and I wouldn't go anywhere, I loved you. I then thought you okay again and that's when I left for Sydney, and ultimately London. I was so lonely and miserable. I was also so mentally exhausted. I thought I had lost you, but you found me and you gave me the strength to come back home" He looked so sad.
"So everything from a few weeks before I moved into your mum's house is real, after you came home you waited for me, and then you made love with me." A tear dripped from my eye.
"Yes Den, all that happened and I realized the only way I was going to heal us wasn't to run away, it was to get as close to you as possible. Even hearing you laugh had been more than enough for me. I loved you so dearly Den, I had to have you and Ayden in my life." He was kissing me back.
"The only thing that didn't happen was Ayden's death, you had completely shut down that day, it was so fucking horrible. When I received the news about my mum, that day became my worst nightmare, and by the next morning I thought I had lost you too." He's gone through so much with me and I love him more and more each second for being here with us.
After looking into his eyes forever I eventually sipped on the water and ate a little.
"They were all there with me, the folk, the king, and queen, Horse, Tiny, Donk, Ali, Spud and Rita, they were looking out for me when I was in there. Why would they all be in my dreams, I didn't know them then? Maybe it was my brain playing tricks, or maybe it's the fairies?"
"Den the most important thing right now is to get some rest; we will all be here for you in the morning. You have nothing more to worry about. It's over, your memory should return slowly now." He kissed me again, I snuggled into his shoulder and whispered,
"My protector was there too, everyone that visited me talked to you first, you hardly left my side, you gave me all your strength willingly."
"That part is true Den. I only left to work, shower and to spend time with Ayden."
"You are my protector, Horse was right. I love you so much Evan my heart is bursting out of my chest."
"Don't ask me to pass the lube Den, now isn't the time. You need rest, and I love you with every vessel of my being." He kissed me again and I drifted off thinking the lube would be a good idea, but alas I was so fucking tired.
He was still with me when I woke from my deep, dreamless sleep and so was a little ball with blonde, curly hair, he wanted to show me his azure, blue eyes and I wanted to hold him close. I turned over to look at him and remembered that horrible day.
Carol had been dancing around the room with Ayden, she went out to the balcony and waved to Evan, but then Ayden slipped from her arms, she lunged for him and they both went over the railing as it collapsed.
When I got there I heard him crying and the people from the bottom apartment were holding him. Carol had saved him; she broke his fall; she gave her life for our son. I vaguely remember being in a fog for a long time after this. Evan did all the hard work and I was in no state to attend her funeral, that's why I couldn't remember it. I remembered him telling me relentlessly he loved me and when he did, butterflies appeared out of nowhere, they calmed me down.
In the hospital I was only focussed on Ayden's eyes, his big blue eyes, and I was so sad because I wouldn't ever see them again. It was like my memory had been put on repeat. The fairy folk helped me return, they healed me as Evan constantly told me he loved me. I remember leaving the hospital and walking out into the sunshine with my boy in my arms feeling like I had conquered the world, but I didn't remember how.
"Are you over analysing it Den?"
"Probably Bubs, I just wanted to remember how I felt at the time. I remember I felt the same when I painted Ayden's Eyes because you were leaving us. Something helped me not to go back to that terrible place again, and I know the fairy folk were behind that. I also knew then I was missing something, something really important to me." I caressed his face.
"Den, it wasn't a good time for either of us, so let's just put it in the too hard basket and move on to bigger and brighter times."
"Can I transfer some money into your personal account Bubs, I really need to do that. I know I have to do that; I want you not to have any stress also?" He breathed out heavily and said,
"Yes, if you must."
"Good, because you fucking well earned it, and don't hold it aside for me. I don't ever want it back and if you want more then just say so." I was kissing him again before he could protest but he moaned when I slipped my tongue in to check his teeth. Bubs kicked me in the balls, he felt left out so we both hugged him and kissed him as much as he would let us.
"Kin?" his hand pointed to the porch.
"He's probably worried about you Den, the boys slept on the porch and they have all been through this morning probably looking at that beautiful painting you did."
"It is nice, isn't it?"
"What are you going to do with it Den?"
"I don't know but I do know I won't sell it, maybe I'll give it to someone very special."
"Ayden?"
"No you."
"Thank you Den; I didn't like to ask."
"You don't need to ask Bub, you can have them all, we are a team or did you forget that?"
"No Den, it's just good to have you back, I want for nothing more except the two of you."
He reached over to his side table and grabbed his phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Sending a message to Horse to come get Ayden." He giggled.
I heard the thumping of his footsteps coming through the lounge then he opened our door and said looking at me,
"Are you okay?"
"Yes Horse, I am good again, can you take Ayden for half an hour or so?"
"Try and stop me."
"Horth, Horth Bubs me milk." His arms shot out as Horse picked him up.
"We will talk later; do you need anything?"
"No thank you, all I need is right here with me." He grinned, snorted and left.
I was all over Bub as soon as the door closed because I wanted him to feel as loved as I did, and I think I did a good job of it too. His legs were stretched out to the max and my hips found out what repetitive strain was all about, our orgasms were long and deep. Totally exhausted I asked him if he was going surfing, he looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"Have we still got batteries in that vibrator Bubs?"
"No more Den, please no more."
I had his dick in my mouth and that vibrator was working overtime but gently in his ass. As I said before, I think with Evan no actually means yes. But again, don't try that at home.
We showered and I was in no hurry to go and try and explain things to everyone. Also, Evan was exhausted and it was no use me trying for a third go so we sat on the bed and talked about things. I got it all straight in my head and then I had a thought. I went into the lounge and got the magnifying glass then I swept it over Evan's mum's rose garden, I figured they wouldn't be in it because I hadn't met her. There were no folk, and apart from the few I had in Evan's nude, the real fairy didn't appear until I did Ayden's Eyes. A good leftover from my tormented days surfaced in that painting, they had eventually shown themselves for real.
I felt they were trying to tell me they always will be with us. I know my knight, king and queen will be. We did a lot of holding and kissing but eventually we wanted to hold our son so we reluctantly walked out to a crowd of friends. The first thing I did was hold Horse and nestle into his neck, I whispered a lot of thank you messages then I did the same to Tiny, Donk, Trip and Nuts.
Evan had snatched Bubs off Arras and he wasn't too bloody happy about it either. I turned to him and reminded him again,
"The baby's ours, if you want to hold a baby then have another one." He blushed and muttered,
"She won't let me."
"Well buy her a Maserati or something, she might reconsider."
He laughed so loud I thought the roof was going to fly off.
"I have ten of them Den, I don't need any more."
Trip and Nuts are now his best friends, and I think Evan also, by the look on his face.
"So how many cars do you own Arras and what kind, don't hold back?" Horse smiled then leaned in to listen to his answer.
I cuddled our son when Evan passed him over and while I did I noticed Rita sitting alone looking at me from her end of the porch.
"Excuse me a minute." I walked up the porch and sat down with her.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"That was some amazing work you did Den. I am still getting over the shock, did you finally have a breakthrough?" I smiled at her words.
"Yes Rita, a big one, have you got ten minutes?"
"Of course Den, I'm just relaxing, the boys are making their curries today."
"I will try to make it brief because not even I can explain it all at the moment."
"Take your time my friend."
"Can I call Horse over? I don't want to keep repeating it ten times."
"Sure." I indicated to Horse to join us and he was on his feet within seconds. He sat and instinctively took Ayden from me, while Alex brought out more coffee.
"When Carol went over the balcony, it was and wasn't an accident. Ayden had slipped out of her arms and was falling over the rail so she followed him. Somehow she managed to soften his fall giving her own life to save his. I know this because I saw it all, and when we got back upstairs to the apartment, I had a complete mental breakdown. Up until last night I had forgotten it happened, I had spent several weeks in hospital."
Rita took my hand and squeezed it.
"When I tranced last night I remembered nearly everything, my doctor was Tiny, my nurse was you Rita and my absolute strengths were Evan and you Horse. Everybody that I have come in contact with here was in my head in that ward; even Mike and Spud.
Susan brought Ayden in everyday and Horse was making sure the doctors were doing the right thing, he ordered Tiny around like he was a servant. You always had Ayden in your arms if he wasn't already in mine or Evan's. You sat with Evan for hours at a time and you held Ayden constantly, does that sound familiar? You Rita, fed me and made me as clean and comfortable as you could, and when the others weren't there you held my hand and talked to me gently and quietly, thank you." I smiled as I looked down at her hand in mine.
"So what does it all mean?" Horse asked.
"There were also millions of fairy folk, eastern kings and queens and princes. Everyone comforted me because I had it in my head that Ayden had died that day, even though I saw him every day. I feel the shocks from the treatments they were giving me before I have to paint, and they were at their worst last night. Evan thinks it's the result of my memory trying to return, and I think he's right. It waited until everything and everyone I had to meet was completed. My memory has almost all returned. I have met everyone before Horse, in my addled state I met you all before, I even knew you." Horse gasped aloud.
"Everyone was protecting me, until one day I just woke up, I think the fairy and all you beautiful people had repaired my mind, but everyone disappeared the instant I woke. I asked Evan why I was in the hospital and he said I had a bout of pneumonia, I was there for treatment. The doctors had warned him not to say too much and I never questioned him."
I took a deep breath.
"When I painted Ayden's Eyes, the fairy folk reappeared because Evan was leaving us, and I wasn't in a good head space. They reappeared and stopped me from going completely insane again, and they haven't left. You're right Horse, Ayden's Eyes was the first painting they appeared in, but I had seen them long before that." I smiled at him.
"God Den, that's so awful, you were stuck in a time warp maybe," Rita commented.
"Yes, something like that, so all of us being here isn't a coincidence. It's fate that we are friends, you all helped to heal me in that hospital and now you are being repaid for that kindness ten times over."
"Bugger me Den, so that's why your first painting of the king and queen wasn't quite right, you didn't know who you were trying to paint at the time."
"Yes, that's it exactly Horse, I couldn't remember until last night who the people were in that painting, if you look now they are correct." I smiled because they had seen the new painting and it had them all in it.
"Now that's all I'm going to say for now, I still have quite a few grey areas, but I'm sure they aren't anything to worry about."
"Oh Den, what a dreadful, wonderful story, you are right, when I first met you at the post box I felt a warm connection. You already knew my face but couldn't remember from where. When you asked me to come here with you all my heart leapt with joy. I put it down to just excitement, but I knew it was something else, something wonderful." Rita's tears came forth.
"Rita I knew you were special the second I saw you, and as you know, that force that drove us here wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you, and the comfort you gave me."
"I'm feeling it too Den, more and more I feel the folk and eventually I hope to see them. I had followed Blue here only days before I got your phone call about renovating this shack. I can't explain the joy I felt when I talked to you. Maybe that's from your hospital days, and I did think at the time, I know this guy."
"Well you both did Horse; you were the king. I remember you giving orders to everyone around me and they did as they were told. Rita was always in my room checking up on me, she was my mother the queen and Evan was my knight protecting me, he sat by my bed and watched everything that went on."
I laughed then when I remembered something.
"What's so funny?"
"Mike brought me in a sandwich and a glass of water twice a day. One day he had his little sister with him and he kept rolling his eyes at me, he always wore a bandanna on his head." I giggled at the sudden thought.
"So that's how you knew subconsciously about Emma and the lesion?"
"Yes, probably Horse."
"And Blue, he was there, he was by your side most of the time and you were hugging him constantly; he was small like five years old or something. He hasn't changed much, he's still that beautiful little boy." Horse was in shock now I think.
"The rattle?"
"He had it hanging out of his back pocket like a slingshot." I had just suddenly remembered that, fuck me, I have to think some more on this.
"Den, you've analysed this to overkill state, have a break will you please." Evan's hands appeared on my shoulders and he was massaging them, I hadn't noticed he had walked up behind me.
"And you massaged me, everyday you massaged my shoulders and body." I looked in his eyes as he nodded his agreement.
"And one time you even played with my dick." I couldn't help myself.
"What? I did no such thing." Evan was embarrassed.
"Maybe not, but you had a good look."
"Well maybe I did that." He laughed, we all laughed and I then heard and felt it, a shift in the air, then our shack settled, not a gentle settling a heavy one. I immediately looked at Horse and his face said it all, he was smiling.
"You felt it?"
"Yes Den, I felt it, it was sensational." He grinned.
"What Den, the shack relaxing?" Rita asked.
"You too?" She had shocked me.
"I feel it all the time except when I'm busy in the kitchen, but at night before I go to sleep I don't drop off until I feel it." Rita dropped her head.
We looked at her in amazement, why wouldn't she feel it? I looked at Evan and he blushed furiously.
"Come on tell us Bubs." It took him awhile but he finally said,
"I feel it after we have sex, everything resets itself for the night and I love that feeling so fucking much." He also dropped his head.
"You're surfing all the time so you wouldn't feel it then Bubs, you had better stay here with us in future so we can get you feeling awesome all the day long." I grinned at him.
"Horse?"
"Yes Evan."
"Let's go surfing, and Den, get some more rest," They were up and readying the guys in no time. Before Horse left I held his and Rita's hands.
"Please pass the story on for me, I don't want to repeat it to everyone, especially Nuts, his wife and baby were with him but they were both burnt. I really don't want to retell it, if he asks just say he was in there alone, no one else."
"For sure Den, leave it to us, no secrets will be repeated." Horse kissed my cheek and went to get into his wet suit.
Evan came to say farewell and his suit had bumps for miles in his crotch area, he kissed me, I asked,
"Are you sure you want to go now?"
Arras sang out.
"Groan Den, groan." The laughter was heard until they all whooped it up to go down to the beach.
Rita was still laughing when I turned back to her.
"You my friend are so special, your life is full of laughter and mayhem now, and you have coped beautifully. You have become the most beautiful and respected women in the bay. Thank you for looking after me." I kissed her hand but she had to go and find her tissues. I had to go get my boy, oh no I'm not, he's having another ten minutes' sleep.
Later on I was again chosen to take lunches down to the beach, stacks of hot dogs today, my munchkin was now awake and ready to go. I stopped by the painting and gave it another look over, it was exactly right. Ayden farted then he laughed as he went bright red. I made a big fuss but he needs changing again, reminds me I must get onto that toilet training soon.
While I did that Susan and Pat arrived, they were taking the day off. She took Ayden and loaded him up with plenty of kisses, then she walked down to the beach with us.
We eventually got to our tree and the guys came up for lunch. Blue had two hot dogs and Bubs was almost jumping out of his skin waiting for him to sweep him away on the jet ski. Evan was smiling at me and I was laughing as the guys started having competitions, Donk, Tiny, Trip, Nuts, the king, Horse, Ali, Alex, Pat and entourage were whooping it up and laughing their heads off as Ayden rode back and forth with Blue giggling, there was smiles for miles. Hulk, Mike and Spud with Jay skimmed the shore and the queen and Susan sun baked along with their assorted bodyguards.
The sun shone brighter when Tony, Cynthia and Rita turned up for a paddle, they joined the queen and Susan and were followed by Tush and Bubble who dived into the sea with the rest of them.
These beautiful people around me were having a big party. I suddenly realised they were my human fairy folk. My heart thumped with love for them all and I started weeping, not in sadness but for the absolute joy of it all.
Evan came running up to me, he pulled me up and kissed me then we both walked into the surf. He held me while we watched the party and then I saw them, hundreds of folk swimming around us. I looked at Evan and he felt them, I'm sure of it because they were all over his exposed body. He was shining so brightly and his golden skin was beautiful, the sun was making a gilt halo around his hair.
I leaned in and kissed him, I never let up and he held me tight as he rubbed my back.
"Dah Ebin!!" it was Bubs with Blue. Evan reached over and took him in his arms while I stood as close to him as I could. The happiness I felt was indescribable and the inward ache I felt for all my precious friends and the two people I loved the most was awesome. I felt perfect peacefulness as Evan's hair enclosed the three of us when a gust of wind gently passed by. It was a strange sensation because I smelt a waft of Carol's favourite perfume in it and deep within myself I quietly thanked her, then Evan kissed me. He looked deeply into my eyes and said,
"I love you Den."