Aydens Eyes

Ayden's Eyes 4

Maxieplus

He got the tissues out as I tried to pull myself together but I still didn't know why I felt this way, yet I suspected it was that hidden something I'm just not seeing.

"Let me put a sold sticker on it but I still want it to stay where it is for a week because it's pulling the punters in, is that okay?"

"Of course Spence, I really can't tell you why I don't want to sell but I just know deep down I will somehow regret doing it for the rest of my life."

"I understand Den, a lot of artists have their favourite works, it's just a shame that most of them are their best work. In your case all your work is brilliant so you don't fall into that category, you can afford a little hoarding." He laughed trying to make light of a seemingly very stupid situation.

"Will you call the buyer?"

"As soon as you wash up and join the punters Den. And Den, it's okay, you know the others are selling for excellent prices and they will all sell."

I moved to his flat and washed my face and after taking a few deep breaths, we both then re-joined the crowd.

"How are your sales going Den?"

"Really good Tony, and yours?"

"Awesome mate, my costs are all covered so anything that sells from here on is all mine." He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.

"I even got a phone number to go for coffee tomorrow." He grinned and waved a business card in my face.

"Well doing that sample book was genius."

"It was Spence's idea so I could show off my bigger pieces, I have orders from it too so I am going to be busy when I get back."

"Good Tony, I'm very happy for you." I trailed off as I looked around the room.

I watched one of Spence's assistants place a sold sign on my painting then two of them took down a larger one, they were taking it over to the packing bench as the buyers wanted to take it home. I was introduced to them, a very pleasant older Australian couple, their compliments sort of embarrassed me. They had fallen in love with the brilliant colors and the kid playing by a pond. They said they collected new work from various artists and this one is the best they had seen in a long time.

I had sketched it in the park down the road from Evan's house one day and had placed an imaginary boy by the pond. He was my view of Evan as a little kid. I thanked them and moved to the packing bench to have one last look at him. My stomach lurched and my empty pain was suddenly back as I looked into the boy's eyes. That something was in there staring straight at me. I quickly looked across at, `Ayden's Eyes,' and there were tears in them again. Impossible, I thought to myself, why didn't I fucking see it before. What the fuck is going on here and what the hell is wrong with me, this explains a lot of things so how stupid have I been, why didn't I see it long before this? I stood there just staring at the two paintings and by now all I wanted to do was hide and cry.

"The buyer has upped his offer Den; he really wants this painting." I hung my head so he wouldn't see my pain.

"It's not for sale Spence." I rocked back and forth reeling again from my enlightenment. I had to get out of there and I had to get my son and take him home to Australia where he will be safe. I was now in full panic mode.

I said a hasty goodnight to Tony before I apologised to Spencer, he was gracious and told me to go home and get some sleep. I almost ran back to the hotel thinking how could I have been so fucking blind? I can't lose Ayden, I just can't, I have to get him home. Exhausted I stopped to catch my breath in a laneway as I wiped my tears and tried to calm down. Nothing has happened so far but I felt an immense push inside me to get home to Melbourne.

Sue was at home rocking Ayden to sleep, I kissed them both and we sat and had coffee. I didn't want to open a wine because I had my boy relying on me and I also wanted to check flights back home later on. I told her about the painting and the offer and she tried to tell me I could always paint another one the same, but I knew deep down it wouldn't be the same, and I was still reeling from my sickening awakening.

"I had better come along and have a look at it one day, it must be amazing Den."

"Anytime kiddo, why don't you come tomorrow night and bring Ayden along, come early and I will walk back with you. I wouldn't mind an early night too, everything's been so overwhelming."

"I might just do that my friend, any idea who this buyer is?"

"No Sue, it's his lawyer who's doing the talking."

"Umm, his lawyer, big money, even bigger money, sounds like someone wants that painting at any cost, if I didn't know better it's got Evan's name written all over it."

I once again felt my stomach lurch, of course it had made perfect sense he would want to buy that painting. But I still didn't want to let Susan know that I had suspected that from the start.

"Nah, he knows I would just give it to him, all he has to do is just ask."

"Are you sure Den, are you really that sure?"

"No Sue, I'm so frigging confused so can we just leave it for now."

"You know Den, a call to that lawyer will answer your question."

"He's not going to give out a client's name."

"He will if you blackmail him."

"How?"

"Ring and tell him you want to meet the buyer before you decide, and be firm Den. You want to meet the real buyer, not the lawyer." She smiled again.

I made sure she had a cab waiting then kissed and thanked her again for her help and she left.

I sat there for a long long time thinking about Evan and came to the conclusion that I didn't have to go into a big panic, he loved me, he just wouldn't destroy my life like that or Ayden's. It's been a heavy night mentally but there was one more thing I had to do before I went to bed, I called Evan's number. On the fourth ring he answered.

"Evan speaking." My guts churned just hearing his voice and I wanted to say so much more to him but only managed,

"You're forgiven."

"Den? Den is that you?"

"Yes Evan and you have been forgiven." Then I hung up on him.

I showered and crawled into bed. Ayden was now back to sleeping through the night and I still had his cot next to my bed just in case. My hand snaked into my shorts and I began stroking my now hard dick. Evan's eyes were staring at me and he was making love to me, it was so awesome I didn't want to cum too quickly. I lay off for a few minutes just running my hands up and down my hard body and thinking they were Evan's hands. I wanted him to be here with me so fucking much. My orgasm was endless and a big chunk of my energy took a dive when it was over. Calmness came over me as I turned onto my side and hugged the spare pillow. Yes, I could have sex with him, I wanted to have sex with him and I desperately wanted his body next to mine.

My dream of Evan was welcomed; he was smiling and happy in it and I wanted more but as always there was no ending to my dream. I woke with a start because there were noises coming from Ayden's cot and when I looked over in the early morning light he was standing up rocking back and forth making gurgling sounds. His chin was full of dribble and I could smell that all too familiar baby poo.

I threw back the bedclothes and went around and picked him up, kissing his wet face many times. After changing his nappy and washing his bum he smelt a lot better then I fed him, he loves his formula. I spent the time just looking into his eyes forever. They brought back all that warmth I had felt last night; the dreadful panic I felt at the gallery was forgotten because I knew Evan wouldn't be that cruel to us.

"So what do you want to do today son, go for a ride on the London Eye or go visit the Queen?" He gurgled and his face screwed up and went red, oh well another nappy change coming up, the queen may have to wait for another day.

I placed him in his bassinet in the bathroom while I showered, keeping one eye on him. I didn't think he would run away but I still watched him, sucking furiously away on his dummy.

After making coffee and toast I sat at the table just looking out at the blue sky while Ayden sat in his high chair and destroyed a dry biscuit, but I don't think he actually ate any. Another top change and a play in the morning sunshine was in order for him today. My mind went back to what Susan had said and I thought maybe she's right about Evan, maybe he is behind the offer. But why doesn't he want to see me, why the hell doesn't he just ring, my number's the same and he knows where the gallery is? The doorbell rang and it was the morning papers, now let's see whether I am a success or not.

Another coffee was made so I turned the paper to the arts lift out; the write up was full of accolades and congratulations for Tony and myself. Australia was done proud last night with not one but two so different but serious artists on display. I read the second paper and it was much the same as the first. It left me with a better feeling to start my day. I dressed and loaded my backpack up with pads and pencils and made sure Ayden was warm then buckled him into his stroller. I will take him across the road to that big park and maybe find some inspiration on the way. I checked my phone and there was a message from Spence, `They upped the offer again Den.'

Sitting down at the table again I gathered my wits and proceeded to type in an answer.

"I want to meet the buyer Spence, not an agent, not a lawyer, just the buyer, then I will make my mind up about the painting." Almost instantly I got a reply.

"Where?"

"To be decided, I'll tell you tonight. I'm going across to Hyde park with Ayden for a few hours."

"Okay mate, be good."

"Sure." I can't be anything but good, let's face it I don't have that many options at the moment.

After hitting the toilet again, we walked across the road and into the enormous park. It was awesome and the greenery was so different but familiar in ways. The early settlers had brought quite a lot of English plants with them to Australia so some I recognized and some were a bit alien but in a good way.

Finding a bench away from everyone, I made sure Ayden was asleep and warm then took my pencils and pad out. When I draw my mind wanders and my imagination comes alive, my world stops and I lose all track of time and before I know it my pad is full of bright colors and shapes.

I sensed him before I smelt that familiar aroma; he hasn't changed his after-shave and I suspect he's just as handsome as I remember him.

"You can have it, it's my gift to you," I said without even looking at him because if I did I knew he would be in my arms instantly. I had to restrain myself because I don't want this shit to ever happen again.

"Thank you Den," he breathed out.

We sat there for a long time just watching the lake. I wanted to start telling him how much I had missed him but I couldn't. It was Evan who broke the silence when he said,

"I miss you so much Den." I let out a gasp and shuddered because that cramp was back again.

"I miss you so fucking much too Evan, why would you do that to me, why did you put me through all that pain?"

"Because I loved you but I couldn't be near you anymore, because I had betrayed you in the worst possible way."

"Shouldn't that have been my decision to make?" It was his turn to shudder and I felt his pain.

"I suppose so but I couldn't take the hurt anymore, and I couldn't hurt you."

There was another long silence, my heart thumped and my ears were ringing.

"Can I see him?"

I pulled back Ayden's covers and let Evan stroke his tiny face.

"He's so gorgeous Den, he's just like his father."

"He's got his father's eyes Evan."

"Has he?"

I thought long and hard about not saying anything but eventually I slumped and gave in.

"Evan I'm pretty sure I know how but I don't know why, but he does have your beautiful eyes, his father's eyes."

I quickly looked up and turned to look into Evan's eyes. They were full of tears and were the brightest azure blue I have ever seen on any man. The only other person who has that shade of blue is my son. You see when I looked at my painting of Ayden's eyes last night and saw tears in them, I not long after realised they were not Carol's eyes, not her blue, they were Evan's blue. I couldn't understand why every time I looked into that painting I saw more and more of Evan. Then it hit me like a boxing glove. After that shock my next worry was what if Evan wants to take him from me? But I had eventually dismissed that thought as nonsense... but I have to know for sure.

Had Carol cheated on me or had Evan cheated? I found it hard to work out in my head. I wasn't mad at them just curious, but as I looked again into my baby's face I had to know the answer to that one hideous question.

"Are you going to take him away from me?" I whispered to him.

He gasped.

"No Den never, he's your son and I wish he wasn't mine. I wish with all my heart he was all yours and so did Carol. Den we both loved you so much, please forgive us. Please don't ask me how it happened because we were so drunk and so fucking ashamed of ourselves afterwards, I'm still trying to deal with it."

"And that's why you left me isn't it, you left me because you thought I didn't love you enough to forgive you?"

"Yes." He was now dripping tears. I wanted to hold him to calm him but he has to come to me. He has to feel like he can forgive himself and come back to me. After a long while, I took a deep breath and said,

"Can you ring the gallery and leave your address and I will have the painting delivered to you as soon as possible."

"Sure Den, I can do that." I hurt as I looked into his eyes again then I stroked his face with the back of my hand needing so much to kiss him and take his pain away.

"I'm not mad Evan, there's a lot of unsaid things going on here but I'm not angry with you. I need to go change my son's nappy and feed him so I will say my goodbyes and I wish you well my beautiful friend."

"Den?"

"Yes Evan."

"Den can I call you?" Now was my last chance.

"Only if you absolutely love me, but Evan if that were true, you would be home with me and our son not sitting in this park thousands of miles away in London," I whispered then bent over and gently kissed him on the lips, a long soft, sweet kiss then added,

"I have already forgiven you, now forgive yourself and come home to us both. I love you so dearly, nothing you have done in the past will ever make me lose that powerful feeling of love that's in my heart for you."

"Den?"

"Not now my beautiful friend, when you come home, when you have forgiven yourself and when you want to be with the people that love you the most, Ayden and I. We will be there waiting for you for as long as it takes."

I stared at him for a minute then I put my face next to his and breathed him in one more time. I settled Ayden's blankets then put away my stuff. I had one more look at this gorgeous friend of mine and I stroked his hair and whispered,

"I love you so deeply Evan so please find the courage to come home."

Then I walked off, leaving him with his elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in his hands. Would he call me? I don't know, he hasn't bothered up to now, in almost three months he didn't even attempt to talk to me except that once. Fuck me Evan, forgive yourself and come home.

My stomach hurt so fucking bad and it was then I accepted I was so deeply in love with him and I prayed what I had done was enough to bring him home.

I wept while walking back to the hotel and had to keep my eyes down so no one would see them. I just wanted to be with my son, I wanted his smell and warm cuddles. The fact that Evan had fathered him didn't upset me, I wished with all my heart I was married to him and Ayden was ours.

I splashed cold water on my face in the washroom and the doctor saw me straight away. Everything was done and my check up was good and he gave me some natural sleeping pills to help with the flight home. I also changed Ayden, giving him plenty of tummy raspberries in the process. Evan has to accept that he can love Ayden and I without feeling so fucking guilty all the time, to the point he has to run away from us. I do love him but I don't want to feel like he loves me out of some misguided guilt trip. I want him and I'm not angry with him at all because he gave me a precious gift and I will be forever grateful to him. I left the surgery feeling a bit better and the results will be posted to me in Melbourne.

At home I contemplated not going to the gallery tonight but Sue will be here soon and I had promised to walk with her. I had better change into my suit and look the part. I dressed and sat at the table then flicked through my pad at what I had sketched today, not much of it screamed at me but I did have a great urgent need to create some more. Going on past urges, these are the best, I always listened to my inner artist so I took up my pencil. One hour later I answered the front door for Susan.

I brought her up to speed about our meeting and she was very happy that it had happened.

"He will call you?"

"No I don't expect him to Sue, he's so full of guilt."

"Well that he is Den but you know it wasn't his idea don't you?"

"How did you know what I was talking about?"

"I told you we talked Den, he told me everything because he trusted me and he had to talk to someone."

"Then please tell me."

"Only a few things Den, something to do with Carol knowing he loved you, something about a non-existent sperm count, about both of them wanting you to be happy because they knew how much you wanted children, and something about getting so drunk they decided to buy a turkey baster and give you your dream."

"I couldn't work out how they did it, Evan is gay, so it confused me," I went on.

"The doctor said it wasn't impossible but he had doubts I could get Carol pregnant, you can imagine how I felt when she did."

"He's as proud as punch he could give you that one thing, even though it might mean you would hate him in the end."

"I couldn't hate him ever Sue and I confess I'm more certain than ever now, I love him deeply. I have forgiven him but he has to forgive himself otherwise he will always be running away." There I've said it.

"You could try to phone him."

"I could but I don't want him to come back because I need him, I want him to come back because he needs us."

I thought about it some more and decided I wouldn't ring him, he has to take a leap of faith and trust that I meant what I had said; that I had forgiven him and loved him, he has to believe that. How could I blame him for wanting me to be happy, and then there's Ayden, what a perfect gift of love for me from Carol and Evan.

I put my tie on and we got Ayden into his best gear, the outfit he liked to wear to attract the chicks. I brushed his hair but he messed it up then went red in the face. I laughed as I changed him once again, thank you Evan and Carol.

Susan and I walked to the gallery and it was just after dusk. There was a nip in the air so I made sure they were both warm. People were scurrying everywhere; home to dinner or to the theatre, London is amazing at this time of day. I looked over to an alley and watched a man in a suit rush into it then he took another man in his arms and kissed him in the twilight. I thought about it on the way and imagined two men in love going off to work then meeting to go to dinner or the theatre afterwards, just a normal couple living life the way they were meant to.

The gallery was lit up and open for business and a few patrons were already there, and Spence expected more after dinnertime. I introduced Sue to Tony and Spencer who made sure she had a glass of champagne and Tony gave her the grand tour. Spence insisted on seeing Ayden's real eyes and he was astounded.

"Forget the painting Den, how much for the real thing, he's bloody gorgeous?"

"He's priceless and definitely not for sale." I grinned.

"He rang and left his address Den, when do you want to ship it?"

"As soon as we can Spence, I gave it to him."

"What?"

"He's an old friend so I gave it to him, don't worry, I will give you extra for the commission you missed out on."

"No you won't Den, I was just surprised that's all. I thought that maybe he was someone from your past that didn't want to be re-united with you. So don't you even think about giving me extra cash, we will make enough and when you return next year we can make even more," he said with a grin.

"Thank you Spence, could I get a copy of his address please?"

"Sure and his phone number, he left it for you too."

"That's nice." I smiled knowing Sue had already written it down for me. I won't ring him, the ball is in his court, he now knows there's a place in my heart and a home for him. If he doesn't want it then he never loved me, but if he doesn't come back then I will do something about it, maybe I will have to eventually ring him and read him the rules of being gay!

I left London near the end of the following week, I'd had enough and my art work was almost all gone. Tony and I had both done very well and he was staying on with Spence but I had no one to stay for. It was with a heavy heart I said goodbye to Susan and London as I boarded our long flight home. I settled in and after take off I placed Ayden on my lap and for a long time I looked into his eyes and saw Evan's looking back at me. He will always be with me, as long as I have my son to hold.

After a long tedious flight all I wanted was sleep so I dragged my suitcases and Ayden onto the porch then unlocked the front door. It was good to be home at last and I was looking forward to getting to bed.

Ayden had fallen asleep as soon as the taxi moved off from Tullamarine so I won't have to give him another feed. I switched him into his cot without putting my bedroom light on then locked up. I walked down to the living room to get a glass of water and drank it while looking at the beautiful painting over the fireplace. My stomach filled with good butterflies and some tears started to form so I put the glass quietly down and moved back to the bedroom. I stripped naked in the dark then gently crawled into bed but my heart was thumping in my ears.

"Your home." I heard.

"Your here." My stomach churned and I let out a loud guttural breath.

"What took you so long?"

"Thank you," I replied.

"You didn't answer me, what took you so long? I've been waiting for days for you both."

I didn't know what to say but as always my smart side found something. I turned on my side and looked at his beautiful face and stroked it and said,

"We departed late and the pilot lost his compass so he took the long way around, then we had to make a couple of pit stops to get petrol." He interrupted me.

"Be quiet Den."

"Okay." I can do quiet. Then he moved in closer to me and put one arm around my waist and the other under my neck, we couldn't get any closer if we tried. I could smell his breath on my face and then he kissed me, not a small one but a big mother fucker of a kiss where I melted into his arms. He's an awesome kisser by the way.

"Welcome home baby," he whispered.

"It's good to be here."

"I love you." Another kiss.

"I adore you," I whispered.

His hand stroked my ass and I tightened up, but no that's not what I wanted so I immediately relaxed.

He then proceeded to kiss every part of my face, even my eyes and I could feel something hard pressing on my thigh, but it wasn't as hard as mine.

"So what are you going to teach me on our first wedding night baby?"

He ground into me and it felt right, I ground back.

"Your choice."

"Oh I have a menu then?" my surprised voice was talking.

"No, you really only have one choice tonight, we can talk about your other options tomorrow."

"And what's on tonight?"

"Kiss me, then sleep." And I did, like I've never kissed anyone before and I fucking loved it. Eventually we drifted off to sleep and I dreamt about, `Ayden's Eyes' that had returned to our house and was now hanging over the fireplace in the living room, safe and sound.

Because of the jet lag I woke on and off during the night and the first time I felt around for Evan but he wasn't in bed with me. Then I noticed the dull light coming from the hallway and Ayden was missing but heard Evan giving him a drink. I drifted off again feeling cold but then I felt him get in behind me and his big arms wrapped around me again so I pushed my ass into him then slept some more.

The feeling I had when I woke the next time was out of this world. My legs were apart and I felt the warmth coming from my groin, my gut burst alive with butterflies and my hips began to move, he's doing it, he's fucking doing it! I have never felt anything like it, Evan was giving me head. I wanted to look down but I couldn't lift myself off the pillow, this is completely another level of rapture, not even Carol could make me feel this way.

For a fleeting moment I wondered if he was doing that deep throating move on my dick, it certainly felt like it. The slurping got to me then, and his grunting. I finally couldn't hold on any longer and without any warning I let out a deep groan, I was unloading down Evan's throat and he sucked harder and I came uncontrollably. The orgasm I felt was new and so fucking deep down in my gut. I was almost hyper as I rolled my eyes back and gave one last push. I didn't want it to end and I felt like I wanted to cum again and again. There was silence except for my deep breaths and the tears formed as Evan wet my balls with his hot tongue; he was playing a wonderful tune and I wanted to feel it forever.

Nothing was said when he left my body. He then crept up the bed and settled in beside me and I wanted to thank him but my voice didn't work and I didn't want to break the moment. I did the next best thing and slowly turned to my side then put my arms around him, kissing whatever exposed part of his face gently.

The sun and Evan's smile woke me later on and I could feel his hand running through my chest hair then stopping to caress my nipples. I must have had the biggest grin on my face, I also felt like I had reddened up a bit.

"Did you like it?" It was Evan that broke the moment.

"Do you need to ask? never and I mean never have I ever felt that way before. I can't describe the feeling and I'm sorry Evan, I want more and more until there's no more, then I want more again."

"That good hey?"

"The fucking best, just the fucking best. If I had of known you were that good I would have moved in with you three years ago." I grinned as he was stroking my ball's and I was thinking his tongue should be doing that as I slightly lifted my hips to meet his strokes.

"You don't know how many nights I wished that would happen Den."

"I'm sorry." My lip dropped.

"No matter now, your here." I widened my legs just a little.

"When did you get back?"

"Three days ago, the waiting was killing me."

"You could have called me."

"I could have but I had some things to work on."

"Not any more." I pulled his head in and deeply kissed him and as his hand did a wonderful dance on my dick, it was getting ready to rumba.

"Want some more?"

"Ooh yes." He slid down the bed and I prayed to god I could last longer than the last time.

We didn't discuss my naivety but I knew once I was comfortable there would be no stopping me, I wanted him to feel just as good as me.

"Do you want to shower with me or is that too weird?"

"Warm the room up and I'll bring Ayden."

We leapt out of bed and I had to have a quick look at him and he stopped and looked at me, so I turned around and said,

"Will I do?"

"Perfect, you will do perfectly Den."

"Same to you," I said before I picked our son up and placed him in his bouncer, not forgetting his many morning kisses.

Evan was holding the soap and was all wet by the time I got there.

"Don't think for one minute that I will drop that," I said, he laughed and it was nice.