Aydens Eyes

Aydens Eyes 39 Unedited

We had a good night's sleep, if Evan wasn't holding me I was holding him, yesterdays worries were all gone and as I slipped out of Evans bud in the early morning, I knew I had it all I didn't need anymore because what was under my roof at this very moment was all I needed to be kept happy and safe. Evan has it all too and he has me for backup, if he needs it. He went and showered and I checked on Ayden, he was just sitting in his cot staring at the painting so I bowed and said good morning to the king and queen then bubs. He smiled as I changed his dirty nappy then when I deemed him squeaky clean I put some shorts on him and placed him on the floor. I held his hand and we together walked out to the porch.

Evan came out with his wet suit half on, I smirked at Rita when I ordered coffee and grabbed a milk for bubs.

"What's happening today Den?"

"Nothing much bubs I thought I might paint for a bit then go see Tony's place now it's all set up," I was intrigued about Cynthia's visit yesterday.

"Good."

He drank his coffee, kissed us both and left for the beach.

I sat with my boy for a long time then decided to go for that walk. At Tony's I walked into his perfect showroom, just magnificently appointed. I put bubs on the highly polished wooden floor and went to find Tony who was in the back office making a coffee. He had paperwork all over the table.

"Good morning Den, just catching up on some long overdue accounts." He smiled.

"Good morning bubby, did you sleep well?" He said as bubs crawled in.

"We thought we would visit - this place looks awesome Tony."

"It does doesn't it," He giggled then added.

"She was here with another large order its to go to Singapore this time, easy."

"Oh, well I wasn't here just for that but I was intrigued." I laughed as he handed me coffee.

"The others were off the street they bought up big for a new house they built in Lakes Entrance. I think they will be visiting you shortly, they did mention it. I don't know what you have for sale now that everything's been taken off your walls."

"Not a lot of the old stuff left but I have some new stuff I'm going to try and hang sometime today."

"Do you think you will get the prices Den, maybe you should leave it up to Cynthia."

"I have stuff for her and if the four I have for the shop don't sell then I'll deal with it, but I'm really just painting for myself now."

"That's the way it should be in your line of business maybe you should get Evan to enlarge his stock he seems to be doing very well."

"Maybe, but my mind is made up, no more mass production I want to do quality."

"They were quality Den - you just didn't see it."

"Well my customers will be happy their prices have gone up." I smiled at him and added.

"So what are they ordering?"

"It's for their new Hotel in Singapore a lot of side tables and chairs for the foyer and some for the hallways, it's a nightmare but I will get done."

"Oh you would think they would order it directly from Asia it's close by."

"No Den, they can't get my designs directly. I have a very good workroom over there and security is paramount to it staying in business. If they share my work with anyone else, they know I wont deal with them again effectively putting them out of business." he grinned.

"That sounds like a nightmare but I guess you know what your doing. I'm thinking I will open a caravan storage place next door to give Evan some more income."

"What!!!?"

"A caravan storage yard?" He was shocked.

"Please don't do that Den, it will make the shop and my business look cheap and nasty with all those vans next door. If you want to do something with the land leave it to me, I will think of something. I already have been thinking about it on and off and I want to run something by a friend who might rent the block."

"Oh?"

"What were you going to make out of the caravan storage?"

"Around two grand a month maybe, if it's full,"

"Okay leave it to me," he grinned, he's up to something I could tell.

I could see where he was coming from, a lot of vans next door to his million-dollar business wouldn't look good I had better go back to the drawing board, or maybe I should leave it to Tony.

I looked around his shop some more and because bubs was getting bored we again started walking back to the shack.

His shorts were filthy by the time we got back so I went to wipe him down and changed them.

"Blu?" His arm went up.

"Hang on a minute I will get the breakfast basket and we will go down to see if he's there okay?"

"K,"

I gave Rita a big smile and collected the breakfast basket and we headed to the beach. I could hear shouting and when we emerged onto the sand I saw Evan Nuts and Blue were having a very heated argument with some other surfers.

From what I gleamed from the fight they were being assholes, and were not wanted on our beach. Tiny told me they were playing on their boards and it was dangerous, they nearly collected Blue a few times, they weren't thinking of others they were only thinking about themselves. The blokes eventually left for the beach down a bit and my guys went back to doing what they do best.

"Wait a few minutes' bub's I wont be long." Blue shouted as he ran past. I waded in and gave him a swim which he loved, then we talked to dad for a while as he skimmed him around on his board. Blue came up the water on his jet ski and by this time Bubs was in his safety gear ready to rumble. he was placed on his seat and Blue held him with one arm and the other he drove it into the surf. He had a big ride today and after he was dropped off the guys started eating.

Evan was okay but a little upset about the confrontation maybe. I gave him a big kiss on the cheek and handed him a bacon and egg roll. Then I took one for myself and fed some egg to Ayden who was very excited and wanted to talk to Blue about another ride.

He did get another go and again I thought about swimming lessons, from what Riley tells us Holly and Peter are going great guns and already swimming on their own. Maybe I should put in a pool, oh shit, lose that thought Den.

I packed up and went to do some painting, Ayden wanted to talk to his gran so he was placed in his high chair and Rita found some food for him. She smirked as I walked by, but didn't say anything. I already had worked out she was paying out more than what Evan was giving her, and more than what I gave her too but if she wants to do it she can, we will work something out that compensates her in other ways.

From my seat on the porch I can see almost everything that go's on over at the foreshore, the main town is over to the left and trees block its view from us, I don't mind because it encloses us and there's no prying eyes. I thought about the block of land and how I could get some more income generated for Evan, maybe Cyn might like to move her operations down here instead of her house. It's only a twenty-minute commute from there and Tony's containers will be close by. I heard a rumble coming up the road it was Jay's car and even from here I could see two occupants in it. they have been away for eight days now and by God we missed them. He turned into his driveway and Spud leapt out and ran up to our porch. I had stood up and he hugged me tightly.

"Did you have a good time kid?"

"Oh yes Den, I have loads to tell you and photos. It's just the best up there Den you have to go for a holiday." He grinned.

"Maybe later kid, go see Rita she's been pining for your company." As soon as I said it we heard.

"Richard Wellman come here this instant." She was standing with her hands on her hips looking at him.

"Oh shit." He groaned.

"Yes oh shit," I replied giggling.

They hugged and she kissed his forehead playing with his hair. I think she missed him, I hugged Jay saying welcome back, he looked more tanned than ever now, the beach is good for him. Rita and Spud bought drinks down with bubs in tow, he was placed on Spuds lap and he was telling him about his ride, and Spud was trying to tell him about the little twins he had met.

"They live on a beautiful beach Den, no trees in front and the house is awesome, so is Bobby and Rory's but Cody's is a work of art in itself. Jamie and Luke live in the flat underneath, Luke's Dan's brother and Jamie is his partner, what a hunk." Spud smiled. Jay nudged him and laughed.

"He fell in love with Dan, he doesn't stop talking about him Den." He giggled.

"No I didn't, he's nice and all but I don't think he's normal. He hangs off Cody all day and they almost live in the bedroom." He was giggling now. He then pulled his phone out and I looked through Bobby's works, they were beautiful. They had gone up to the farm to stay for two nights, Dan's parents were awesome and made Bobby and Rory sleep in the barn, it was so funny.

"Rita you would fit in there perfectly. And there's Mike Luke's twin brother awesome farmer type, and Jay fell for him." He again was laughing as Jay sunk into the chair with embarrassment. Rita sat through all this with a tight lip occasionally I would catch her smile, I think she was having the same thoughts as me. It wasn't what they were saying it was what they didn't say, and the body language wasn't there either. Me thinks they have decided they are just best friends, that the romance wasn't there or didn't arrive. Jay's a good kid he does look out for Spud but he doesn't touch or smile like a lover does he's just a good friend.

"So did Bobby show you anymore tricks?"

"Ye Den, I showed him my three D technique but I couldn't grasp his ghosting, he said that it only happens when he trances." I guess he's got no hope sorting that one out he better stick to what he knows.

"And what have you been up to bubs?" Jay was talking now.

"He's been trying to tell you that Blue took him for another ride this morning on the Jet ski."

"Oh is that what you were saying." Bubs pouted at him, I suppose he's a little pissed off.

I took him in my arms and blew kisses his neck he was happy with that, and Spud uncovered my work and whistled.

"Shit Den, this is bloody awesome."

"Spud!" Rita was on to it.

"Sorry Rita, got carried away, but it is beautiful Den."

"Well it's the fourth one I've done in ten days, something's up because they are more intricate I shouldn't be painting this fast."

"It's the magic Den." he smiled.

"Bobby can turn out one a day when he trances, it's amazing to watch. But Rory gets pretty angry with him when he does because he thinks Bob should be spending time with him instead." He again laughed.

I thought about it for awhile as they babbled on about the farm. I am getting better and I am painting like there's no tomorrow. I hope I don't end up with a lot of useless cartoons but I don't think they are.

"You had better get onto the Paris paintings Spud, Tony's getting busy."

"Is he mad I stayed longer?" Jay asked.

"No son, he's happy but you had better put in an extra effort for a while he's got a huge order to finish and pack apparently." Jay got up and excused himself to go see what was up.

We watched him saunter over to Tony's but before he did he put Spuds duffle bag on the porch.

He had a bag with a painting in it for me from Bob.

It was a family portrait which in itself was amazing but when Spud said for me to squint it was a whole different ball game. My friends were all ghosted in the background, Horse Spud Rita Tiny and the rest, they were all surfing. It was as clear as daylight when I squinted but just us three when I didn't. He got Ayden's correct eye colour and Evans skin tone spot on. I will hang it in our bedroom, and thank him with one of my paintings.

Rita was looking intensely at Spud and she couldn't help herself.

"Do you want to move in with Jay Spud, because you can you know,"

Wrong thing to say, Spuds lip dropped and he gave her such a sour look.

"You don't want me to live with you anymore mum?"

That shocked her.

"Of course I do darling, I just thought you might like to go live with Jay,"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"I don't know I thought you two were an item,"

"No we aren't an item, we are great friends though and I probably will have a sleepover every now and then, but to answer the question you haven't asked yet, and dying to. We are really good mates nothing more, no sex no snogging no love platitudes in the night. I'm waiting for Mr Right I told you that already," He tried to look upset, but he did wink at me.

"Did you get your answer Rita?" I smugly said.

Rita stared at me for a long time then relented.

"Yes Den," She then let out the biggest stomach laugh I've ever heard.

She pulled Spud in and said.

"You stay with me baby, we will find Mr Right and if we don't then I will find you a temporary Mr Right just for fun," She giggled. Poor Spud was close to laughing as she held onto him.

"They didn't give you much grief when they came did they?"

"No darling, I had it all in hand, you can watch the video later."

"What video?" I nearly shouted bubs jumped.

"The one Alex did on his phone from the cafe; you really don't think I wouldn't cover myself in case they did have me charged?"

She laughed again.

"Ummph." I groaned then went back to playing blocks with bubs.

"Come on sunshine, lets sort out your washing." She took Spuds hand and as they walked up the porch he turned around and winked at me again. I smiled a lot while Ayden gave me plenty of kisses.

I sat him on the table in front of me and his head slumped towards my chest, he's tired, so I found him a warm milk and got him settled in the bean bag.

Evan and the boys came up again for a late lunch. Now Spuds back maybe they will get it delivered on time. They gave him curry when he came out with a big plate of pies. It was good to see Spuds back in town because his grin was saying it all, also his face was bright red through the embarrassment.

I heard a baby moan, then looked at bubs he was asleep but very agitated, his sounds stopped everyone in their tracks. I lifted him up and cuddled him, his eyes flew open and he looked for Evan.

"Don go da don go." He pleaded with Evan who looked at me. I have no idea what he was talking about, this is the second time he has said that to Evan. Fucked if I know what it means. But bubs was distressed about something, he also started moaning in his sleep. I slowly hugged him and tried to wake him up he didn't budge. If this is what I have to look forward to then I don't want any part of it, my baby comes first.

I took him into his bedroom and placed him on his change table I thought I would give him a cool bath.

I looked at the painting and screamed at it.

"For God's sake help him," I was furious.

He woke up and looked at me then at Evan.

"Da." His arms reached for him and as he picked him up he again flopped into his neck.

"Dah don go."

"Where do you think your dah's going to go, he's not going anywhere bubs?" He stopped crying but still hung on to Evans neck. I still didn't get the urge to paint so I figured it was just a bad dream. Filling the bath as Evan got him undressed Horse came in to help. He stroked bubs and after a couple of raspberries he smiled again.

It threw me for a sixer and confused my psyche to the point I was exhausted thinking about it. At bedtime Bubs was placed in our bed and we retired early just to hold him while he went to sleep.

Everyone was so worried about him some of the guys slept on the porch just in case something happens. I felt rather than saw Horse poke his head into our bedroom more than once during the night.

After we had a restless sleep, bubs seemed to have slept like he should and Evan had watched us both off and on, we were knackered by the morning, when I woke two bright blue eyes were looking into mine and a little hand was gently slapping me on the face. He was back to normal and I kissed his face while he giggled. I can't stand this anymore I have to do something, maybe I will take his painting down. But Bobby had said the fairy folk protected Ayden and us, I had dark thoughts about them and at one time I had decided they weren't good fairy just bad ones.

There was a gloom over our shack today and unanswered questions. Evan was as confused as me, Rita said it was just a dream, all babies have them. It wasn't a dream I knew it and probably so did Rita she was just trying to be positive. Bubs was happy but I didn't let him out of my sight, Spud sat with us and stared at him he said he was back to normal and we should get on with life, but it did scare me to see him that upset. He took bubs up to the cafe to give him some food, I could hear him giggling.

When Evan came out freshly showered we sat and talked about it.

"You don't have any secret plans to go away do you bubs?"

"No Den, only Blues competition at Bells at Easter time. Apart from that nothing."

That shouldn't send him into a twist and for the life of us we couldn't figure it all out. As far as the comp goes we will go with Evan, I wouldn't mind being there too.

"We will come with you; you can close the shop for a week."

"Its Easter Den, the shop will be busy we can't close it."

"Okay I will get Mike to run it, he's more than capable."

"Rita will need him in the café Den."

"Then we can ask Alex."

"No Den, I think Alex would rather be with Blue which leaves Spud and Mike to wait tables for Rita, she can get Riley in of a night time."

"Oh I don't want you to lose out on any business bubs, maybe I had better stay home."

"Or I can stay home." He smiled.

"You could but he needs support from us all."

"Well why don't Ayden and I go for a few days you can look after the store."

"No, I don't think that's the answer bubs he might get antsy, but he would have his mates around to look after him I suppose."

"He would, do you think Horse would let anything happen?"

"No, of course not and neither would you bubs, I will be the one that will get antsy."

"I'm not going Den, I had already decided its too hard on you and Ayden. I can watch it on the Sky channel no big deal." He laughed.

"Well its four weeks away bubs, something might turn up."

I knew Ayden's little breakdown had something to do with Evan going away, so I really didn't want him to go anywhere without us two and I can't make him stay home.

"I want you to have a good think about something bub, I think it maybe best if we move back to Melbourne for a while no fairy folk no games just everyday things."

He looked at me shocked and answered.

"Den you're grabbing at straws; we can't go back to town. This is our destiny, to be here for better or worse, its actually turned out better than I expected apart from this Ayden thing."

"For sure bubs, I do love it here but Ayden was so upset yesterday I can't let him keep going through that." I added.

"Everything changed after I painted Ayden's eyes, I might think about selling it."

"Its mine, or did you forget that Den, there's no way I would sell that painting, it means too much to us, it's our magic."

"Well then I'm all out of answers, I just wish I had the urge to paint last night but even that has deserted me,"

"Den, I'm glad you didn't, because apart from Ayden's spat nothing else is going to happen anytime soon," He kissed my hand.

Horse came up the drive then ordered something to eat and a coffee. He sat down with a thud.

"How was the little fella last night?" I smiled.

"He slept soundly as you know, and this morning its like nothing had even happened."

"Good, maybe it was a bug or something, I did stick my head in a few times," He grinned.

"No, it was something he saw in his mind, maybe baby stuff but it was real to him,"

"I've been doing some reading up, there's a myth involving fairy folk. It said they have always been around and usually show themselves when a large trauma happens, Den do you think Ayden remembers his mums passing?"

"No mate he was only a couple of months old, the trauma was mine and Evans. He wouldn't remember,"

"Are you sure Den, maybe he's bringing this on because he's still grieving?" He added.

"You have dealt with it got the help you needed but Ayden maybe remembers his mum's smells, her touch."

I looked at Horse and shook my head.

"It spooked us too Horse, but I don't think that's the answer,"

"Just think about it Den, Evan?"

I did think about it, maybe Carol has something to do with sending the fairy folk to Ayden, maybe as a protective shield but why would she send someone that upsets him. That of course is if he was upset, he was asleep last night when it all happened maybe he doesn't even remember it.

I looked into Evans eyes and my tears started running, he held me then Horse pushed the envelope.

"Den, do you have any paintings of Ayden with Carol?"

"A few unfinished ones back at the house. I couldn't look at them after it happened and now I don't see the point,"

"Well perhaps you might finish one and put it in his room he might not get anymore nightmares,"

"So what your saying is Carol is still around, she would hate the situation Evan and I are in, she loved Evan she wouldn't be trying to help us."

"I bet she loved Ayden more, like Louise and Blue, at the end of the day she maybe hates me, but she does love our son and would do anything for him when she's sober, its just with her she's not strong enough and that's her basic flaw."

I thought about it and felt so sad for her.

"For sure Carol loved Evan but she had your baby, maybe she's happy your both together and is trying to help you through Ayden. Maybe she's still in his head why don't you finish or do a new painting of her and see his reaction. It's worth the chance,"

"But why, I keep asking myself why?"

"She approves of your partnership and is helping it develop for the one she loves the most, what's her background Den?"

"Dutch,"

"Grimm brothers German Dutch fairy tales, Evan can I borrow your laptop?"

"Sure its in the shop,"

Here we go again, I sort of groaned to myself.

Evan went to get it as Horse tried to look normal, but I could see he wasn't, he was trying to help so desperately, because he adored his little mate.

I sat while they surfed the web then I had a thought. I went into Ayden's room and looked at his painting especially the beautiful Queen. She had an uncanny likeness to Carol, even though I didn't use her image as a reference. I took it off the wall and bought it back to the porch placing it on the easel.

"What are you doing Den?"

"I'm going to turn the queen into Carols image."

"Don't Den, I feel your queens right for now, otherwise Ayden would be yelling at it,"

I will think long and hard about it, I even questioned my own abilities and tried to remember back when I was young, the best I could do was a feeling of warmth.

But I didn't know wether it was just me trying too hard or the truth.

Bubs crawled out of the Cafe he must have missed us.

"Horth horth." He sang out and laughed.

Horse went up and got him, folding him in his huge arms protecting him from anything that would want to harm him.

"You okay little buddy?" He asked.

"Ok," Ayden's short reply was so sweet.

"Blu?" He pointed to the beach.

"No bubs Blues having the day off," He gently placed him on the table facing him.

"Blu?" His lip dropped.

"Not today bubs," He had second thoughts and then said.

"Give me twenty minutes' bubs," His internet surfing was forgotten.

Ayden nodded his head like he understood.

He then tried to take his tank top off, he was passed to Evan who helped him. Horse sighed and went to get the Jet ski out of the yard.

"Give me twenty," He smiled.

Bubs was passed to me and Evan went to put his wet suit on. I played blocks with him for awhile then we started following Evan down to the shore.

We put his floaties and little life jacket on then his harness, he then danced around in circles until he heard the roar of the ski. We made sure he was safe and in no time he was off out beyond the waves screaming into the wind; I could also hear Horses deep laugh above the surf.

They came in about fifteen minutes after; then he had to have his dad take him on the board.

Just another day in paradise, nice and peaceful as Evan rode some waves and bubs and I had a nap. I had been dreaming of Carols silky skin and her shapes her smells when I suddenly woke up startled. I checked my son then leaned back trying to shake off the feeling of dread.

When Evan came up at lunchtime I already had a few sales in the shop, he ordered a sandwich and coffee for both of us. When his phone rang he stepped to the railing and was having a very animated conversation with someone. Bubs was glaring at him. I quietly distracted him and played `Ta' with some pencils then he helped me eat my sandwich. I thought more on my dream but it had faded but I still felt uncertain inside.

Horse Tiny and Nut's came up they said the wind had died down, I hadn't noticed but it was very quiet, there was no noises and the air seemed to thicken. Spud served the guys and they had a few jokes with him, then Evan had finished his call. He sat next to me and looked at Ayden, he pulled him across the table and stroked his face.

"I'm not going." He whispered into his ear.

Bub's face lit up like a spotlight his eyes glistened and he started crying.

"Ta dads ta?"

"It's okay son everything is all right now, be happy for me baby." He was kissing his sons face and head.

"What was that all about?" I nudged him.

"Bill from my old job has gone solo, that was him on the phone. He wants me to go to Indonesia and work on a case he's secured there, big money Den. It's only four weeks work but I said no because I can't leave here." He smiled.

"So this Bill is going to go alone?"

"I am his first choice he thought by now I would like a loose thirty grand, but he's also got Victor, he's just as good as me experience wise so he will ask him to go."

"So do you think something will happen?"

"No Den, I'm not going anywhere so hopefully that's it, bubs does look much better don't you think?"

I looked at our son and he did look a lot more normal and he held onto Evans neck and was smiling from ear to ear, he wasn't as upset as yesterday in fact, he seemed to liven up a lot.

I thought about the money and how Evan could do with some extra cash in the bank, but I will leave that up to Tony maybe he's got a solution. Maybe this phone call is why bubs was getting upset over, but who knows.

I also thought about Bells beach I remembered how Donk was in the shop at Christmas, he out sold everyone, a natural salesman. I wondered if he would be keen to pick up some cash in hand or was he set on going to watch Blue surf.

"Bubs if you go to Bells to watch Blue you will need a tent the van wont be back then."

"I'm not going Den, I'm staying with my family, its more entertaining to stay here." He laughed.

I will talk to him later he might change his mind.

He received another phone call later on but he again had said no to the offer but he did say to the guy he should come down here and see why he wont leave. He reserved a stay for him for when he gets back.

The day started to get better a slight breeze had started up and the guys went to see what the surf was like. Rita had gotten busy and I saw a van pull up on the foreshore. The holidays will be starting, some campers take Christmas and Easter holidays off from work a lot of them save up their extra days to do that.

There are also a lot of retired people that come down with the grand kids. If I was to take a snapshot I would find that it's always the same people year after year and they always take the same spots. The van that has just come in would be retired people, they would get down here early and get the best spot, which is higher up but behind a large bushy trees to use as a windbreaker. They all have an unwritten agreement they park on the same spot every year. It gave me a sense of security because I intend to live here year after year and maybe do the same thing every day. No trauma no screaming no angst no rushing everywhere.

Evans phone calls became frequent and he was dealing out advice to whoever was on the other end. I told him he should be charging the guy. He said he was a mate and he was the one that got him back into Australia so quickly he owed him. He said they had already left for Indonesia and the case was going ahead, he was just the third backup he didn't mind doing that but felt he was a little rusty. I remembered that awful time and he had mentioned he was indebted to someone but I sat and listened as Evan finally said.

"No I'm not flying over Bill, I'm staying right here but you can come and see me anytime, just email me your questions and I will look at it them give you advice you don't need me there,"

I think Bill went with that because each morning Evan would check his emails if he wasn't surfing then write something back. This went on for a full week and as the foreshore started coming alive the emails became fewer and fewer.

I usually don't look at newspapers they are full of bullshit anyway but I had a craving to look at this mornings one. Rita had them delivered for the campers and she always sold out early, so I snaffled one off the top I will put it back later.

It was the headlines that caught my eye.

`Lion Air plane go's down in the Indonesian sea.'

There was a picture of debris on the ocean and as I read the write up my tears flowed for the horror the passengers would have felt when it was happening, a second would feel like an hour to them. I imagined the feelings they would have had but pulled myself together because I have a fear of heights and falling now.

Everything was explained to me in reading the editorial, and I knew who the two Australian lawyers were, not personally but I knew. I looked at bubs and my butterflies started going ape shit, secretly above all the emotion I was feeling, I thanked whoever pushed Ayden to not let his dad go on the job. I picked him up and silently again thanked him as his little arms went around my neck. I kissed him and wept I could hear the boys screaming and laughing on the beach and my heart dropped because I had to tell Evan.

I didn't dwell on the fact that it could have been him on that plane, if bubs and I weren't in his life he would have certainly have gone with them, he would be cold and lifeless laying in his watery grave all broken,

"Den, what's up?" I was being shaken by someone.

"Uh?"

"Den your trancing I think, what's happened?"

"Oh Spud, I'm just feeling sad that's all, read this article."

"Rita we need brandy here." He called out then took bubs and the newspaper. He read as my head slumped onto the table and I let it go, I couldn't help it Nut's baby came into my head Carols smashed body, Trips family; I don't allow myself to even think about that one and Evans broken up corpse. I couldn't shake it, so I went with it. I could feel warm arms go around my shoulders and a mother's breast hug me to her. I sobbed my heart out for the guys and their families and thanked the lord for saving Evan.

"Den, it didn't happen his son saw to that try and see it as it is a terrible accident that was avoided. It's over they are gone and probably in a happier place, but you have to be strong for Evan now, dry your eyes and drink this." She handed the brandy to me and I skulled it. Spud was having a cry on his own as he read the article. How much of it he understood I didn't know because we hadn't talked.

My son happily played with some crayons then looked at me.

"Ok now dah?"

"Okay bubs." I slid him across the table while Rita read. I hugged and thanked him non stop he buried his head in my shoulder and his smells were giving off all sorts of calming feelings.

"Oh fuck, I have to tell Evan."

"Give yourself a moment Den, collect your thoughts and then Spud can go get him."