Ayden's Eyes 17
Evan went to shower and I checked Ayden's nappy, he was all clear, so I popped his dummy into his mouth and went to put the kettle on.
I didn't want to disturb the boys if they were still sleeping so I snuck out to the back porch, it looks like it's going to be a great day, a breeze was blowing but it's warm. Horse's utility wasn't there so maybe he left early and I think I heard Blue shouting from the beach. I looked into the lounge and it was empty, everything had been cleaned up and there was a log on the fire just to keep it going. Evan was half into his suit when I passed his coffee to him. "I'll make breakfast and bring it down." I winked.
I opened Rita's café and started the grill, I will make some egg and bacon rolls for the guy's breakfast. I went and grabbed Ayden and put him in his high chair. I fed him then got started on the food, I had been hard at it for no more than ten minutes when Rita arrived.
"Hey, what are you doing here, I thought you were going to have a holiday?" "No Den, I have just dropped Holly at school and Peter is at playschool, I have pies to make. She put her apron on and pushed me out of the way then started finishing the eggs and bacon.
"So has Riley settled down a bit?" "Yes Den, he gets his custody papers early next week. Margaret's parents are contesting it but the courts won't even entertain the idea. He's learning heaps at Nut's warehouse and loves the laid back lifestyle here, everything is as it should be." "That's great Rita now all we need is to get Brett home from the US." I laughed. "I think he's coming home at Christmas but only for a short stay so he said." She smiled. "Better than nothing I suppose, you might think about going back with him and have a proper holiday." "No Den I have work to do here; will the boys want pies for dinner do you think?" She smiled. I laughed, of course they will.
"Sorry we raided your freezer last night but we wrote everything down that we used and will go into town tomorrow and replace it." "No problem Den, it's there to be used and I will be around to cook, so don't stress about menus." "Good, I mean great Rita, thank you." I was relieved. "I will return when my ceilings are back, I want Riley to get more comfortable raising his kids the way he wants to, I will only interfere I'm afraid. As I told you I was a good mum and I'm hoping some of it has rubbed off on Riley, and from what I'm seeing those kids adore him and he feels the same." "Then you have no worries honey, and we miss you, the roof will be done when Horse gets back from the city." "Is he seeing Tony?" "Yes, he has to drop my paintings off to him while he's there." "Good, then everything's as it should be." She nodded.
I loaded up the basket and put Ayden into his sling then I kissed Rita and walked towards the beach. I could hear the surf as it crashed loudly today, and I'm sure the boys will be hungry after their early workout. Evan was the first to see me and waved from his board, he was instantly up and had started his journey towards the beach. Blue and Alex were farther out and were just lying on their boards talking and holding hands. Tiny, Donk and Trip called Nuts over and they headed my way. The basket was raided and greasy egg and bacon rolls were demolished, Rita should have made more; fuck they can eat!
They had done a whip around and handed me a couple of hundred dollars to replace the food so I will give them back the change after I go shopping. I told them that Rita will return sooner than expected, she is making pies today for Donk's tearooms then I think cakes tomorrow. He was pleased she hadn't forgotten and had been praising her cooking to his wife for a few weeks now.
Ayden had found his tip truck and had started moving sand from one place to the next and was getting very good at it, another picture flashed into my head but I took a photo instead. I didn't know whether I should do more paintings of him or just do the normal photo thing. I wanted to paint him and Evan all the time but thought it unfair to my fans to tie my time up with doing all that. The boys slowly went back to answer the call of the waves and in turn thanked me - Evan kissed me deeply.
"Did you enjoy your wake up call bub?" "Yes Den, it was awesome." "I am thinking I might resurrect those white briefs tonight; it's been a while since they had an outing." I licked his salty neck. "Den!" He looked down. He was sporting the biggest boner, and in his suit it looked even bigger. "Holy cow," I gasped. "I might get you to sit on it tonight." He grinned. "No way am I sitting on that thing." He looked down again. My shorts were sticking out obscenely in front and I tried to get it to move to the side, I laughed because Evan couldn't do that. He kissed me again then placed his board in front of himself as he ran back down into the surf.
I bundled my big roll of fat up and headed for home. When I got there I found some workers had arrived and they had started on the roof, Horse must have told them to start without him. A truck had dropped off some galvanized beams and the guys had started clearing the roof of all the unnecessary wood and leftover iron. The foreman said they will have it done in three days as it was a straight forward job. The only problem he had was installing the reinforcement Horse wanted so I told the guy not to bother with it; if the roof is sound there won't be any more problems. I know Horse was only looking out for us but it really was unnecessary.
They banged away as Rita's ovens baked pies, I sat with Ayden on the porch and had that overwhelming urge again, butterflies were going haywire in my stomach. My head ached as I put Ayden in his beanbag with his juice then urgently started drawing.
"Den, Den where are you?" I was pulled from my trance for a moment by Rita. "Den darling, please come here with me and sit for awhile." She patted the seat next to her. I looked at my drawing which had been covered with a towel and went to look at it when Rita's hand moved over and stopped me.
"Den, please let's sit here for awhile, I have made us some coffee, it will wake you up a bit." She had tears in her eyes. "What did I do?" I asked as I slowly moved towards her, my heart sinking to an unbelievable depth. I knew something was wrong. She poured the coffee and I was thankful we were alone.
"I drew Ayden's broken body didn't I?" I started shaking and my eyes filled with tears. "Den, you drew a baby's broken body lying on the pavement with it's eyes still open and blank." "I have to see it." I moved. "It's not Ayden Den." I stopped in my tracks. "It's a little girl in the drawing Den, with green eyes but I don't want you to look at it or finish it. I want your permission to remove it from the easel so I can take it down to the café where I will dispose of it for you later on. Please Den, it's not for your eyes."
I slowly sat down again and wept, why do I keep doing this? Evan will know, he knows everything, I will ask him tonight.
"Do you know the little girl Rita?" "No Den, but I can make a good guess. You see she is all broken and she's been burnt. I think you drew Nuts' baby girl who died on Black Friday." She wiped her eyes. I gasped at the awful memory that Horse had given me.
"Was there anyone else in it?" "Yes Den, a woman's blackened hand, her wedding ring had melted onto the baby's foot." She took a deep breath and made a choking sound. "Get rid of it please my friend, before the boys return, I'm sorry I did this to you." I didn't want any of them to see it and was so ashamed I had even drawn it.
"I'm so sorry Rita, it wasn't intentional. I wouldn't deliberately do that to you or Nuts, I feel so fucking ashamed." "Well it must have been playing on your subconscious Den, but please don't look at it. It's going to take awhile to clear it from my mind, Horse told me about it weeks ago when I found Nuts screaming on the beach. It must be agony for him Den, to live with that image every day." "It would be Rita, what a terrible awful thing I've done."
I watched as she picked up the drawing and took it to her café, I didn't ask how she was going to dispose of it and I didn't really care.
"Here drink this." She handed me a brandy - she drank hers down in one go, then she poured more. It cleared my head of that heavy fog, then we went into her café and took her pies out of the oven. I helped her pack them onto a large tray and when they cool she will place them in the fridge. She started another batch but they weren't chunky beef but chicken; the boys are getting a treat tonight.
"I have called Riley he will pick up the kids so I can stay here tonight, just in case you need me. Can I have one of the stays?" "Of course you can but I don't think it's necessary honey, I think I will be okay. I've got it out of my system, it must have been waiting for the right moment to come to the surface, but thank you." "It's okay but if you don't mind I would rather be close to Ayden tonight, if that's okay with you?" "You can sleep in-between Evan and me then." She punched my arm; I think the brandies are working. His nibs woke up and wanted more drinks so I cuddled him then passed him to Rita while I made some sandwiches for lunch.
"I thought you cleaned your fridges out when you closed, there seems to be more food in here than when you were open." "I filled it yesterday Den, I can't let my boys starve, now can I. When we came here I thought it would be just us four, I didn't count on the boys being around?" "I don't know when they are going to move away but it must be soon, it's getting a bit dull here." "They were talking about the Northern Territory the other day; the weather is sunny there all year round." "Well it's a long way to go, I suppose Alex will be going with them." "I will insist he goes Den, there's nothing for him to do here until spring arrives, then I will know what the word busy means." She chuckled and I poured another brandy.
She took the chicken pies out and turned her ovens off, she will do the cakes tomorrow. For now, we have sandwiches to deliver to the boys. Rita carried Ayden and I will put him in with her tonight, so she can cuddle him all night if she wants. I will have Evan to hold but I won't tell him what I did, it's too shameful. Sandwiches went flying as six very wet boys got stuck into them. Rita was smiling at the boy's appetites and I think secretly she was dying for them to try her new pies.
Evan was looking at me intensely then he looked at Rita, he's on the ball that man of mine, he knows something's up. "So when did you two start drinking in the middle of the day?" He had sprung us.
"Since we were having such a good time without the peanut gallery, we lashed out and had a couple of brandies." I smiled at Rita. Evan's face took on a dark tone; he didn't believe me - fuck it. "I have done your pies Mr Donk, the cakes will be ready in the morning, do you want them iced?" Rita changed the subject. "If you don't mind Rita, that's great, the wife can't wait to start selling them." He smiled. I was told he didn't get along with his wife too well but there was always a smile on his face when he mentioned her; I wonder what that's all about?
"When are you boys taking off for the Territory?" "I think Tiny's going, and Blue and Alex aren't you? I can't go, have to do some work on the tearooms, what are you doing Trip, Nuts?" Donk was asking. "We decided to hang around this year, the manager I have is hopeless so I'm hoping Riley gets a handle on the business then I will promote him and get rid of that worthless brother in law of yours Tiny." Nuts laughed. "Go for it, he doesn't need the work Riley does" Tiny chuckled.
"Well it's not a hard job, I have an agent in India who scouts for fabric and I order a container load then my two salesmen sell it, buy it cheap, sell it for a bomb." It was good to see him smiling and I think the fact he had picked up Ayden was helping. The other three bantered with him and then decided they will stay too but Blue said they were going to take a trip to Surfers Paradise there's seventy kilometers of surf beach up there so they can take their pick and they estimate they will be away for about five weeks. I nodded to Evan and he told them to take the van, they were stoked because Blue didn't think his car would do another big trip. I looked at Trip who winked at me. I suppose he's not trying to pick me up but telling me something, fucked if I know.
They decided that the waves were calling again so boards were picked up, suits zipped and they ran down to the waters edge thanking Rita for their lunch. I watched Alex catch the first big wave, he is improving every day and really looks the part now. Rita picked up Ayden and said she would see me when I got back so I thought I would sit at the beach and give her some time with him. I don't know where it came from but all of a sudden I have a calm feeling that came over me, a sort of peaceful contentment. It's hard to describe but for some reason I knew everything was going to be all right for Nuts. I snapped out of it when Evan massaged my shoulders.
"Oh bubs, you still here?" "Yes Den, now tell me." "Tell you what?" "What happened up at the house that made you want to have a brandy?" "Eh?" "Now please." He can be quite firm but I didn't want to go into it, really I didn't.
"Oh bub, I drew a bloody awful picture when I tranced. Rita was so upset she's getting rid of it for me, it was heartbreaking." He looked at me with concern. "More." "No more bub, it's over, it wasn't Ayden or you but it was Nut's baby girl, please don't bring that image back bub, that's all you need to know, it's okay now. I know everything's going to be okay with him." "How did you know, we only just finished discussing it when you walked down." "Discussing what?" "We are going to have a night surf when Horse gets back. Nuts wants to move on so we are going to be with him when he has his last scream. Then he wants to concentrate on his therapy sessions, he needs to move on." "You're shitting me?" "No, now how did you know?" "I didn't, I just drew that awful picture and I didn't even look at it, Rita did and it rocked us so bad we had a couple of brandies." "We will talk later Den but for now if you're okay I have to go." "Sure bubs, it looks like maybe it was a good thing to do."
He didn't understand me but I knew I had sketched that picture for a reason, Nuts was telling the boys soon after I had done it, he wanted to move on. I couldn't wait to tell Rita and when I did she and I hugged because she said she had felt the air shift too when she walked back to the shack. Ayden was being his happy self and was giving orders from his high chair, we made coffee then waited for the boys to come up. Then we heard it, "Na na?" he squealed.
We both looked at this angel and our hearts thumped in our chests, Rita picked him up and smothered him in kisses and he started giggling. Everything was all right again.
Rita brought out her chicken pies and the pile was high, but when Blue went to get the tomato sauce she snatched it off him, he didn't argue.
"Three dozen thanks Rita, can you have them done by tomorrow arvo?" "Already done and packed Mr. Donk, will that be cash too?" She couldn't stop laughing, those pies are delicious but I learnt from my mistake the last time and stopped at one, they were very filling. Evan shared half of his second pie with Trip.
The boys had drinks, I stuck to helping Ayden out with an icy pole, then we both had juice. The fire was still going and we all sat much the same as last night, until I got quite tired. I handed bubs over to Rita and she took him in with her. I had a date with a pair of backless white underwear and Evan's going to help me get rid of a heavy load.
After working on him for several minutes I couldn't contain my enthusiasm and dug deeper for my release. Evan was suspended for a minute or two then collapsed into my arms. We held on for a while then he wiped up and took the underwear off. We had been talking about our day and the painting when I suddenly realized something. "Oh bub, I forgot to lotion you up." "No Den, no!" He was still saying no when I came for the second time, I think no means yes, well in this instance it did. But please boys don't try this at home.
The next day the roofers came in early so I had to go and paint on the beach because the drills and hammers were driving me crazy. Rita had left early to do the school drop off; and Evan sat playing with Ayden while I showered and dressed, then he was also off to the beach. I fed the boy toast and vegemite it became a bit soggy but he managed to eat most of it, then I fed him some scrambled eggs; which he loved.
Grabbing my canvas and paint box and with Ayden on my hip, I walked down to the beach. No breakfast this morning so if the guys want it then they can go cook it. I set up, tying the twine to his ankle and my wrist, it didn't seem to annoy him, he just found his trucks and started sand moving again. After yesterday's disaster I concentrated on doing the yacht painting.
Twenty minutes later I noticed the boys were staring at me, well it wasn't me, it was Rita with a food basket in her hands. "Good morning Den." "Hi Rita, did you cook after all?" "Yes I can't let the boys go hungry and I know you don't like to cook." She smiled as I heard a yippee coming from the beach. The crowd arrived dumping their boards in the sand. "Thanks Rita, awesome, I'm starving," they were yelling.
She handed me a roll and I dug into my pocket because I had forgotten to pass it on to her earlier. I handed her the money the boys had collected, she placed it in her pocket and thanked them. It's better if she does the shopping, she knows what she needs. Evan was trying to pop some egg into Ayden's mouth and he was doing a fine job too, but I didn't have the heart to tell him he had polished off a large egg this morning.
"When's Horse coming back?" Nuts asked. "Tomorrow I think, have you heard from him Blue?" "No Den but I think tomorrow lunchtime." "Where's Trip today?" I couldn't see him anywhere. "He had something important to do apparently," Donk replied. "Oh okay." I think something's up but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I painted my day away, well until just after lunchtime Rita had left, taking Ayden with her again. I missed him so I packed up and moved back to the house. The roof looked spectacular, a nice grey colored one, not completed but nearly. When I looked, Ayden and Rita's ceilings were done so we can move him back tonight - well maybe tomorrow. "What are you cooking Rita?" "A big pot of beef curry for tonight Den, it's cheap to make and filling but I need to go into town and get some more rolls, I won't have enough." "Okay do you want me to go, I have to give my car a run anyway?" "If you wouldn't mind, I have to watch this pot and also wait for Mrs Donk to call by." "Oh, could you just watch Ayden for a bit, how many rolls do you need?" "Just get three dozen hamburger rolls Den, they will be used up in no time." She handed me some money which I left on the counter, kissed my boy then headed for the car. It was only a short drive to the next town and I found the bakery Rita uses and got the rolls then I went back to my car.
While I was putting the rolls on the back seat, a car or should I say a truck, pulled in beside me and whoever it was honked the horn. I turned around to see who it was and was met by a huge, bright blue Ford truck, a big monster with a canopy covering the back. It wasn't new but it was shiny and clean. Trip appeared around the side of it and said. "She's a beauty isn't she?" "Wow it's huge, let me have a look inside."
He pulled open the passenger door and it looked like the starship enterprise, gizmos everywhere. "Do you think Blue will like it?" Well it was his color. "Horse got you to get it for him, didn't he?" "Yes Den. I have been looking for a few weeks now, that clapped out sedan of his is ready for the scrapheap. Horse just wants him to be safe that's all." "I get that, there's plenty of room in the back for a mattress and esky, his boards will fit across the top and it's in tip top condition." Trip was so pleased with himself. "You did good Trip, he will love it and it couldn't come at a better time now they have decided to go to Queensland." "Yes Horse wanted him to have something better to drive around in, he worries about him Den." "I know but he's just being a good father." "Yes." Trip said farewell but as I left the town limits, I caught up to him and followed him back to the café.
He parked it in the back yard and will hand the keys to Blue when he gets in from the beach. Horse didn't mind, he didn't want to make a big fuss out of the gift so he's left it for Trip to do.
I made coffee for us all and we three sat with Ayden on the porch. It was a fine day today but I couldn't help but shiver at the thought of spending winter here. It will get so cold on the beach but I was looking forward to cozy nights by the fire and snuggling up in bed with my Evan. I had bought an electric blanket for us, just to take the cold edge off our bed and in Ayden's room I thought about installing a reverse cycle air conditioner.
We still have the three in the garage for the stays and I could use one of those, I will talk to the builders about it later on. They had moved over to the stays and were working on them. Our roof was nearly finished and only one guy was working on it, he was finishing up the gutters. Horse directed the guys to finish his tiny house first - I don't think he will be travelling this winter.
Maybe Tony will come and stay for a week or two and it would be nice if he buys that house up the road. We could start a small art community but I don't know any other artists to invite down - maybe Tony does. Rita went and made rolls for the boy's lunches and Trip took them down with him. He was eager to get some waves in. I helped her clean up the dust from the ceiling and we made her bed, she was set to go. She helped with Ayden's cot while he gave orders on where he wanted it placed, everything looked normal again.
Later on, after Ayden and I had a short nap, I heard the shower going outside, the boys were back and I suppose hungry as usual. I went out to the back porch and watched Trip hand over the keys of the truck to Blue who immediately got on his phone, probably thanking his dad for the gift. Alex was looking more and more like a surfer, his hair had got lighter and his body a little harder. His everyday persona was awesome; he has turned into a butterfly with a great personality to go with it. He and Blue looked the truck over and when they came in they were still talking about what kind of mattress to buy for the back. Blue wanted to buy a tent but Alex wanted to just put a bed in the back.
"Buy both you two, you will need a bed and get a small tent in case you want to camp under the stars, there's plenty of storage room," I said then they shut up. Alex went to help Rita with drinks while Blue sat and played with the car keys.
Evan was behind me with his arms around my chest and his small kisses on my neck told me he was ready to be lotioned up. I couldn't do it just yet because I wanted to start feeding Ayden his dinner so I patted Evan's hand and moved to Rita's, she had made a few vegetable patties for him and they looked delicious. I broke them up into small pieces as I wanted him to try chewing the bits and he did well because there was no coughing and no food left. I guess patties are his favorite food now. He sat on Nut's lap and had his head stroked, and got it kissed occasionally. He was a good looking man in his thirties and my heart went out to him, so young to have so much baggage so I hoped the psych he was going to see is doing a good job; well it seemed like it, he was even smiling occasionally now.
The drinks arrived but no one wanted beer, they all had shakes and coffee. Rita has got a treat for them for dinner, she was hard at work making Roti when I poked my head in. "Garlic cheese and yoghurt Den, this will be a treat. I'm a bit sick of making hamburgers." She giggled. "Maybe you should invest in making a couple of curries for take away, the locals have to drive miles for some good Indian food, you could open all year round." I laughed. "Not such a bad idea Den, I could have curry on Wednesday nights, just open for the one night maybe." "Great idea and should go well, just get some fliers printed and pass them around at the school drop off, to the other mums." She stared at me as her brain was ticking over. With Donk's tearoom and the curry night specials she will be making a full week's wages in no time. I was so pleased for her, the settling in nerves had vanished over the last few months and now we have this confident business woman.
Ayden was asleep in Nut's arms when I came back and a blanket had been wrapped around his little frame, I took a photo. When Rita started serving her curry and roti bread I took my son and placed him in his cot, making sure he was warm and safe then returned to try her cooking.
Nobody was saying anything as she spooned the food over plain rice in a bowl and the ones that already had theirs were too busy making satisfied male noises. Evan was in heaven because it's apparently his favorite food. Anyway what's not to like about Indian food? It's amazing and the bowl of chopped, dry chili sauce was disappearing very quickly, it was hot and so fucking delicious.
"Got something to say Donk?" I thought I would stir him up. "We don't sell this type of food Den, the missus can't cook it, just plain Australian fare but it sells well." "Well we will have to put a sign in your window for Wednesday night curries at the café in Golden Bay." "Good idea Den, it will do well, we have a shortage of Asian food down here. Not to tell you how to run your business Rita but why don't you put some of those bistro blinds across your porch to keep the chill out, a couple of gas heaters would be nice too." "I thought I might just do the take away thing Donk, maybe Wednesday nights or Thursday, not quite sure yet." She was thinking about it at least.
"Stop procrastinating Rita, Wednesday curry night, Thursday Chinese night and Friday seafood night, done. Now we need a couple of bistro blinds and gas heaters so go see Tiny's brother in law at the hardware shop in Sale." Rita started smiling at him, no wonder he's successful, every thing is plain black and white to him.
Fully satisfied and looking very tired, the boys were licking their lips and looking for more of what they just ate. Rita, true to her good nature went and brought the rest of it out. "I was saving this for your lunches tomorrow but here you go, dig in, I'm sorry I'm all out of roti." She placed the big pot on the heat resistant stand on my table. The boys were truly fully satisfied now and each in turn were rubbing their stomachs and sounding like they were all having an orgasm at the same time.
By the time I got Evan into bed he was so full he didn't feel like making love. I understood his situation but I still played with his bits and pieces while he kissed me endlessly. We slept soundly until I heard him stir; he has an early start today -no shower, he will leave that for tonight. He leant over and kissed me and I said, "Stay home with us today." "Den I'm only a hundred meters away." He was smiling. "I'll ring you," I answered. Then I pulled back the blanket showing all my manly assets to him - he left an hour later.
"What have they got planned for Nuts Rita?" "I think they are going down at dusk to paddle out beyond the surf and they are going to release flowers and wreaths into the water. I don't think they want us there, just the surfers." That was okay with me, it's too sad to even contemplate. "You and I are going to stoke the lounge room fire and do some burning of our own Den." She kissed my cheek and squeezed my hands.
Horse arrived around eleven and was on his own but looking younger than he did before he left. "How was your trip Horse?" I passed him a coffee. "Fantastic Den and Rita, Tony's a great guy and is an awesome artist. I spent a whole day going over his catalogues and stock. He asked me to stay with him, so I did." He grinned. "And?" "And did Blue really like the truck or was he pulling my chain?" "He loved it Horse, what a great gift for him, they are fighting about what kind of mattress they want in the back." I laughed, Horse didn't have to tell me he slept with Tony, it was written all over his handsome face.