AWAKENING OF INNOCENCE
Part two: Detective Work
I finally got up and went home, still fretting over what had happened and, more to the point, what was going to happen to me if it were ever found out.
I came to no conclusions and woke up the next morning with it still on my mind. I couldn't believe what I'd let happen to me. Basically my feelings were divided. I couldn't deny the physical sensations I'd felt were great . . . nothing like I'd ever known before, but I was also frightened what it meant that I'd done it with a policeman. A policeman . . . I could hardly believe it. I didn't know old men did stuff like that. He was like a teacher.
I did know one thing, however. I had to find this man and try to get some idea of what he was going to do, whether he was going to tell what I'd done or not. We had more than one off-duty policeman who worked for the school, directing traffic and patrolling the campus. I never paid much attention to them, but I knew they worked in shifts.
That morning I determined to get a good look at all of them before I went to class. Maybe I'd recognize the one who'd done so many wonderful things to my body the afternoon before.
I knew he hadn't seen my face, but he'd seen my whole body over the stall as he watched me beating off, and he'd recognize my dick for sure, if he ever saw it again, but not my face. So, I put a cap on to cover my hair and a rain poncho to help disguise my body, and started off to school.
Approaching campus, I saw a policeman at the southeast corner. But, as I neared the corner, I saw it was a police woman, so that left three to look for. One officer stood at each of the four corners of the block, so there were only three left to check out.
I continued to the northeast corner where a second policeman was directing traffic in the middle of the street. When I saw him better, I knew I'd seen him before. He was a younger policeman who was very popular with the kids at school. He drove a neat car and was always nice to us, but he was also like a teacher and kept a distance from us.
Sergeant Ron, as we called him, or sometimes just Ron, was a clean-cut athletic type of guy who often shot hoops by himself behind the gym. I knew he wasn't the one I was looking for, so I continued to the corner at the northwest side of the campus.
I'd never seen the policeman on this corner. He was very old, at least 40, kind of heavy with gray hair. He paid no attention to me as I watched him from the sidewalk, so I decided he couldn't be the one I was looking for either. That meant if the man I was looking for was working today, it had to be this last policeman.
When I saw him from a distance, my heart sunk. Yes, I thought, looking at him. I'd seen him before. He'd been at the school at least two years. I knew he lived nearby and spent a lot of his time up there, mainly in the gym talking to the other guys. His name was Bart.
As I thought about him, I remembered that some guys on the football team last year had told me he hung around in the dressing rooms and showers a lot. He'd give them advice and massaged their sore muscles. But they said sometimes he'd just stare into the showers or at guys in the locker room and not even hear you if you spoke to him.
Kind of strange. He also had a habit of pulling at himself outside his pants and saying things like his balls were too big to stay in his shorts. Then he'd laugh and rub his crotch. But, he was interested in sports and had even had some of the athletes over to his house to watch games on television or to play video games.
Some of the boys said they'd heard some things about him, but he was all right. I remember I thought they were just using him. I heard he gave some of them money or joints and even let them stay overnight at his house when they didn't want their parents to see them coming in drunk or high.
I don't think any of them really liked him. They sure didn't talk like they did. But I didn't really know him.
When I walked up to the corner, he saw me looking at him. He smiled, seeming to wink at me as if he knew me. I felt weak inside and a little sick at my stomach. Oh, no, no, I thought. I don't want to believe it was him.
I'd always sensed something gross and repulsive about him, but no, he couldn't be the one I let do all those things to me yesterday. The thought of it made me sick at my stomach.
As I walked away, I looked back at him. He was also looking at me, a faint smile moving on his face as if he were remembering something that he liked a lot. His eyes followed me until I made myself look away and turn the corner. I stopped, just staring at the ground. Well, I thought, I guess I'll have to admit he was the one.
All that day, I kept going over and over in my mind the things he'd done to me and what he might want to do if I met him again that afternoon after school. I didn't seem to have any choice but to let him do what he wanted to. In time I'd get use to it. After all, what he did yesterday did feel good. I could close my eyes and pretend I didn't know who was doing it to me.
Then I'd think, no, I can't do that. The thought of it makes me sick in the pit of my stomach. Besides, what would I do if told the other boys about it? No, I'd have to find some other way to solve this.
Later, as the time for school to end drew closer, I was dreading what I knew I had to do. I had to meet him in the bathroom as planned and explain to him that it had been a mistake and I couldn't do anything like that again, but I wondered what his reaction would be.
He might get angry and threaten to tell people what I did if I didn't do what he said. But then I thought no, he couldn't tell what I did without having it known what he did to me. I didn't really do anything except let him. But maybe that was enough to put me in jail.
It also occurred to me he couldn't have recognized me as the guy in the bathroom because he never saw my face. But then, I thought he might have recognized my dick. He could easily have seen it many times in the locker room. I didn't remember seeing him in there when I was, but he could have been standing somewhere in the locker room one or more of the times when I was showing it off to everyone. I did that often enough.
Then I realized he must also have known what my face looks like since he recognized me at the traffic stop this morning. No, I had to face it. I was trapped.
That afternoon, when school recessed, I walked around a while before going down to the boys' room to face him. I decided all I could hope for was to maybe make a deal of some kind with him, anything to keep him quiet.
But as I was about to go in the bathroom, I changed my mind. No, I would not meet him again in the bathroom. I'd find some other way to get out of it, and maybe he'd just forget it on his own. I was leaving.
As I started up the stairs, two boys from my home room were racing down the steps. They had a couple of cigarettes and were going into the bathroom to smoke them, asking me to go with them. As we were talking about it, a man suddenly appeared at the top of the steps.
I held my breath as I looked up at him, but it was only Sergeant Ron making his rounds. I took a sigh of relief, but for a moment.
"What are you boys doing down here?" he asked. "School's over. You don't have any business being in the building." We looked at him, saying nothing. "You'd better not be down here smoking," he warned, looking at us suspiciously.
We stammered around, finally saying we were leaving and scampering up the stairs, went out of the building. I don't know what the other guys did then, but I went home and tried to forget everything by taking a nap.
to be continued . . . . . .