Ask Me

Chapter 78

Conner and I, armed with the kids started walking around the perimeter of the park this time. I was still thinking about Ted when I saw my bench and looked across the street at the hotel I stayed at when I was ill. My gut dropped for a few seconds and I don't want to go back there again, so I kissed Jack's head and smelt him.

"Do you want to sit for a while, Brent?"

"No Con, let's keep going I want a different view today."

We walked on and found another seat that had a view of the rail yards and the MCG (Melbourne cricket ground). Sitting down he took my hand and kissed it. My babies sort of giggled to themselves, I think they were just checking they were still close to each other.

"We can bring a blanket next time Con; they can spread out a bit."

"Yes, we can do that baby, now what's got under your collar today?"

"Teddy, when we were talking about seeing Gina yesterday his voice dropped when he said she used to babysit him sometimes."

"So, you're worried about a voice drop then?"

"Yes and no, I was wondering if he will ever get over nans death, and how long must it torment him. Sorry, Con, I know I'm treading on murky waters again, but you did ask."

"It's okay Brent, it was different for me, I was a lot older when Beth passed away, my life is full of new and different things now and I'm as busy as hell. I don't dwell on it that much but when I do I remember good times, not the bad ones. I think as Teddy's life gets busier he will feel the same way, if not forget it altogether."

"Well, I hope your right I am wondering if it's the right thing to do taking him tonight, we can get Grant to babysit."

"No, we take him, and if it's too much for him then I will bring him home." He kissed my hand again.

It was just a moment, I figured being back in my old stomping ground and losing the home we had made with our son might have me a little bit reflective. My ability to shake off the past is limited but as long as I have Conner, and now our sons I'm hoping things will improve.

"Con have you heard anything more about Jill and Sarah moving to Melbourne?"

"No Brent, nothing else since Sydney they won't stay with us they will take one of the flats."

"Good," I whispered.

"You're worried about the crowd we are going to have in the new house aren't you?"

"I guess I am, any more guests would drive me crazy."

"Well it won't happen baby, and John and Ray know that already they will stay out of our way mostly, they do have a life you know."

"I love them Con, they will always be in my life, and I don't want them to feel left out or ignored. It's just me Con, I loved living in your small house with you and Ted, and now the twins will change everything."

"Don't you think you're overreacting? I mean change is a good thing sometimes, it forces us to move on and discover new things, new ways of living new horizons so to speak."

I took a deep breath and answered.

"Your correct Con, I'm just feeling a bit low, they are going to demolish our house tomorrow and I guess I don't want it to happen."

"They are going to take the roof off then work around the brickwork and facade. They are leaving the floorboards walls and as much of the old houses they possibly can. The heart of the house will never be destroyed not as long as we as a family live in it."

He made me feel better as always, and when I retied his carry scarf, he kissed me deeply then he did mine. I somehow ended up with Curtis who was a tiny bit lighter than Jack and his face when he saw me staring at him lit up with the biggest smile.

You're being foolish again Brenten Walsh nothing bad is happening, you're just moving on to bigger and better moments.

Back home Jack had an accident just as we were about to leave for the school park. I needed to bathe him so I asked Conner if he would go with John and Ray, but he said he would hang with me. So we didn't see our student son until he raced out of the lift screaming that he needed to see his brothers, he had things to tell them. I think he's going to talk to them about his day at school, or maybe footy.

He had a drink and I stood him on a chair so I could hug him properly, then he played with Benny and the boys for ages, then he sat with Conner talking softly. We had showered and were almost ready to go to the cafe when Grant arrived. He carried one basket and Ray did the other one. I think I won't see my babies again until their bedtime, because Grant placed his on a chair next to him, then started talking to him.

"Teddy!!" I heard someone scream across the room, it was Gina, she was all excited to see him again. He threw his arms around her neck when she knelt down to greet him.

"How is school, what have you been doing, and you play footy well that's awesome." She said as Ted's head swelled. He wasn't shy with her but he was a little embarrassed because when she hugged him her boobs were right in his face. I think my son likes the ladies' best.

She talked to him for some time, after all, they had a lot of catching up to do.

"Have you guys got menus yet?"

"Yes thanks, Gina, we will order later we just need drinks for now," John said.

She called one of the waiters over and he took our drink orders, I got a small milkshake for Teddy.

"May I kidnap him for a minute, I will make his shake I know how he likes them." She grinned at him.

"Sure, but spare the chocolate will you, he will bounce off the walls all night." I laughed.

"No, we do a special banana one for Teddy here, come on buddy you can help me." She took him by the hand and lead him over to the counter, then she lifted him onto it and gave him a banana to peel. He was having so much fun I nearly cried with emotion. Then I remembered I hadn't taken my pills for the past two or three days, that's why I was down. I had been so busy trying to settle in I forgot about them. I excused myself and asked Conner to order my dinner for me, then I walked down three doors to our apartment.

When I got back all eyes were on me.

"It's okay guys I have been forgetting my medication the last few days it's okay now, I won't bite you. Where has Ted gone?"

"He's in the kitchen with Gina she's cooking his dinner the way he likes it apparently," John smirked.

"She's a lovely girl John, you leave her be." He laughed at me.

"Well she's a good businesswoman too Brent this place is awesome," Conner said. He was right, she didn't have this restaurant opened during the day only the coffee shop and a small eatery.

"Does she own it Con?"

"Yes according to Ted." He smiled.

"When did he tell you that, he didn't say anything to me."

"When I talked to him while you fussed around the apartment getting ready."

"Oh." I didn't say anything else and I always forget him and Con have secret conversations when I'm not around.

The food was delicious and Conner had ordered me lamb shanks with mash and gravy, they were divine. Ted had a special dinner made up of chicken nuggets chips and loads of gravy, with some pasta in there somewhere also. He loved it and remembered it from a few years back.

We had finished our dinners and were just chilling when a gorgeous blond-headed kid around sixteen or seventeen started setting up his microphone and stool. It looks like we are going to get a small show tonight. Gina helped clear the tables, and then she sat to watch the young spunk play.

"I'm trying him out tonight, he's been badgering me to give him some weekend work. I think he's quite good, but I want Conner's opinion on him. There's something I need to confirm before I hire him full time."

"And what would that be?" I was interested.

"Well, he doesn't need an education according to him. He tells me he wants to fast track to the stage and make millions selling records, so this will be interesting." I took Cons hand and squeezed it just as the blue-eyed boy started to sing, he looked like an angel under the spotlights.

He was nothing compared to my Conner, his voice wasn't as strong, and he was as nervous as hell up there on a tiny stage area. But I did enjoy his songs though, they were different and like Cons slow ones, deep, really deep."

He sang three songs and Conner listened to every note as his hand and fingers played the non-existent piano on his knees. I leaned in and said.

"What do you think?"

"He's brilliant, his lyrics are perfect baby, he's going to be a big star or a fantastic songwriter." Well, I suppose Conner would know.

After his small set, he put the guitar down and walked over to our table, then we all heard him say.

"Well mum, do I get the job or not?" She smiled at him, I could see her glassy eyes in the candlelight.

"Don't ask me, ask the expert over there." She pointed to Conner and when the kid saw him close up he screamed, well almost.

"Baby, meet Rick Conner's, Rick this is my son Braden."

"Mum its Bray, do you mind?" He corrected her, she giggled.

"Not while I'm in the room son, now ask Conner if you're good enough to chuck in school and follow your dream." Conner was sitting with Jack in his arms laughing his ass off.

"Let me ask you one question, did you write those songs? I haven't heard them before?"

"Yes Mr. Conner's all mine, did you like them." the kid looked hopeful.

"I loved them, and yes leave school and follow your dreams. That's what I did and it worked out for me, and if it doesn't work you can always wash dishes out the back." He started laughing at the kid's shocked face, he was just trying to calm him down a bit because he somehow had found some stars in his eyes.

Conner passed Jack to me, there was no way I was getting Curtis off Grant tonight, they were too deep in a conversation.

"Can I look at your work?"

"Of course Mr. Conner's." He went over to the stage and grabbed his music sheets and handed them to Conner. He stood up and looked over the crowd.

"Do you mind if we take that empty table over there for ten minutes Gina?"

"Sure go ahead, knock yourself out."

"Con and "Bray" seated themselves at the table and started talking then I heard Conner hum some of the tunes, then he borrowed a pen and started making notes. We were all a bit lost without our rock star but dessert will be here soon, and he never misses out on that, not for anyone.

"What's he doing Brent?" Gina asked.

"Probably improving his songs knowing Conner. They are good Gina very good, even Conner was tapping along with them."

"Damn, I thought he might have discouraged him from leaving school, but now I have to go along with whatever Conner tells him."

"Don't give up hope yet, Cons got this." I grinned at her.

When they came back Bray started doing another set of songs, they were just as lovely as the other three, the beat was so different from anything I have heard. Our dessert arrived and Con didn't get Jack back, I was holding on to him tight.

After the sweets, Teddy got droopy eyes, it's been a big night out for him and it's well past his bedtime. I told Con I would take him home and get him into bed, he said to give him another ten minutes. When Bray finished he passed over a folder to Con and they hugged and said goodnight.

The kid was star struck and insisted on a selfie so he could show his mates. So off came Conner's cap, and many cameras came out of nowhere.

As we slowly walked home Conner carried Teddy because he was too tired to walk. Grant checked Curtis out and placed him in his crib, he was dead to the world. Teddy was asleep before I could get his jeans off. Conner helped me lift his bum to slide them down, he can sleep in his underwear tonight. We kissed him goodnight and went to find a coffee. John had the pot on and cups at the ready. we put Jack in with Curtis and kissed them goodnight.

"That was interesting Con, do you think he has a future?"

"He sure does, those songs need recording professionally, they are so different and new, just what the young kids of today are looking for."

"So he's leaving school?"

He grinned at me and replied.

"No Brent, he's going to stick it out, and I am going to try and get him some gigs around town. I told him if he releases an album and it's a hit, he should think about leaving to write songs for a living. His voice isn't that strong, but his words are beautiful. I don't think he minds either way. He agrees he needs to strengthen his voice. So I will send him to my vocal coach she can help him with that."

"Okay, then I will leave it all up to you then." I giggled.

He sat at the piano and played one of the tunes he had pulled out of the folder. It was very nice and I did get caught up in the rhythm. I was dog tired too after the third song so I kissed him on the head and said my goodnights to everyone. I think Grant is staying the night, and it didn't bother me at all.

I was sitting on the bed just looking over at the crib's and my sons when Conner arrived. He stripped off to his underwear and sat with me.

"We are so lucky to have them, baby, they are going to have a wonderful life with us."

"Yes they are Con, I can't wait for them to start getting their personalities."

"They already have bub, Jack is the strong one and keeps his ears out for Curtis. You will notice whenever Curtis isn't in the room Jack gets agitated."

"I have noticed that I thought it may be a twin thing."

"It probably is at this stage; can we go to bed now I'm knackered."

"Of course Con." I kissed him then I slid over to my side of the bed, he followed.

I was up at three again warming up bottles, I took them back to our bedroom and we both fed the kids. It took a long time to do because they wanted to play with their teats more than drink their meal. The burping was easy and when all our eyelids started to close again they were placed back in their cribs.

I went off to sleep straight away Conner was holding onto me again, life's good.

"Good morning son did you have a good time last night?" I said to my boy who was sitting in front of the TV. He grunted and I thought I heard him say yes but I think he's still tired and would benefit from another ten minutes in bed.

It wasn't until Conner came out I noticed Ted had fallen sideways and had gone off to sleep. I placed a blanket over him and Con and I went out the balcony to watch the city wake up.

"It's beautiful here Con, we should make it a monthly thing to come here for a break."

"Yes I was thinking that myself yesterday, just the two of us, no kids." he grinned.

"No phones no recordings either."

He laughed as I took his phone and started deleting the small movies he had taken in Sydney.

"What did you do that for?"

"It's too dangerous Conner, what if someone goes through your phone?"

"Well, you had better delete the rest then baby."

"What rest?"

"In the other folder, there are hundreds of photos of us."

I flicked through his albums and all the photos were of me and Ted John and Ray family ones. But there were more of me in funny positions, like bending over, lifting my leg, in my underwear, sleeping.

"My god, you're a pervert, Conner Richards."

"I bet your phone has the same sort of photos baby." He grinned again, I blushed because I think my photos are better.

"What do you want to do today Con?"

"I am going to the build with Ray and John they want to see it. Do you want to come?"

"No, I might take the kids across to the park."

"Well take Grant with you will you."

"I can do that Con, it's going to be a beautiful day, you can meet us there."

"No can do baby, Bray is coming over and we are going to go through his collection. I reckon he's got a smashing album or two in there somewhere."

"Okay then we will stay away as long as possible then, the noise will distract the babies."

"If you want, but you can take them out to the back balcony, it's more kid-friendly."

"Sure I forgot about that one." I had forgotten that Di had deliberately covered in that balcony to make a play area for kids.

He left with Ray and John after breakfast then it was just us and the kids, Grant was more than happy to come to the park and play kick to kick with Teddy. He carried Ted across the road, and I had the babies in their stroller. It was better to take that because I could store their baby stuff in the basket. We found a good spot in the shade and Grant and Ted started doing warm-ups, he didn't have his tight shorts on today he had loose ones on much to my disappointment. I put the babies on a rug so they could roll around a bit, then I watched my son play kick to kick. After about half an hour they had to have a drink and a sit-down. Ted quickly lay back and went to sleep, it's tiring being a footy captain.

"Thank you Grant, for everything you do for us."

"That's okay boss, I got nothing else to do, and I love looking after all of you, your like family to me."

"When does Stan get back?"

"In a week or so, but I won't see him." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"What do you mean by, you won't see him?"

There was a big pause and he was struggling I could tell.

"It's okay you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I want to tell you; I have to start somewhere. Stan didn't go to Turkey that was a lie on my part. He went back to the UK and is now in the process of selling our apartment, we broke up." That floored me, they are the strong ones in our family what the hell happened to them.

"I see, so where have you been sleeping?"

"At head office, they have a sick bay there I use, it's not that bad."

"Well you move in with us then, and when the house is finished you stay in our apartment until you find something better than a cupboard." I didn't want to ask him heaps of questions he will tell me but in his own time.

"Thank you Brent, he has a new lover I just found out about it when we came back from overseas, he's been seeing someone in the UK and has gone back to try and get a transfer back to England to be with him. He's much younger than me apparently, so much for promises that were never kept." I saw tears running down his cheeks, this is so unlike Grant and my heart broke for him.

There were heaps of people in the park so I couldn't comfort him anyway.

"He's selling the apartment and sending half to me, we don't own any other property so it will be quick and clean. When he comes back I will be gone from the consulate house, so thank you I will take up your offer for a month or two, just until I find something to buy."

"Well we will help you with that Grant, we can't have Ted's trainer living out in the burbs." I smiled at him., he took my hand and squeezed it.

"Your too generous you know that Brent, any other person wouldn't help as much as you and Conner do."

"It's in our DNA Grant, you should know that by now."

"Yes, and thank you." he dropped his head.

He bounced back after we had a sandwich and Ted woke up, then we gathered our charges and headed for home. Conner was playing the piano and Bray was there. I stood dead in my tracks when it hit me, what if Conner wants someone younger in his life, where would I go? what would I do? They looked so happy sitting on the piano stool and Bray couldn't take his eyes off Conner, it was a surreal moment for me and I didn't like it, at all. Teddy interrupted them and Con said it was time for a break anyway.

I asked how the house was coping with being destroyed, he kissed me and said it was fine, and ready for the builders to move in. He also said he had taken photos if I wanted to see them, I told him I would look at them later on. I was worried about Bray, he was watching when Conner kissed me. I suppose he knows about us maybe his mum told him. Let's hope he keeps his puffy pink mouth shut.

I grabbed some coffee and motioned for Grant to follow me out to the playpen balcony, we took the kids and once again we laid them on a blanket, I had to change Jack he was a bit wet then we sat and watched the mountains for a while. I reached over and gave Grant a big hug and kissed his cheek, he started weeping.

"You will be okay my friend; you have family around you who care."

"I want Stan Brent, he's the only man I ever wanted in my life."

"Well maybe he will come to his senses and come back to you, sometimes the young ones are more a distraction than a full-time thing." I was trying to be positive.

"And the next time, and the next, how do I cope with all of that, how do I even compete with that?" I knew what he was thinking and I knew it was all a bit futile.

"You don't, you completely break it down and see it for what it is, he's starting to play behind your back, there is no going back after that. Believe me, I have been there before, and I know exactly how you feel."

Teddy wanted to come and talk to his brothers again so I let him outside and he got in between them.

After a while Grant started looking better I think he has a lot to think about and I prayed to God he doesn't go back to Stan. I know with my last boyfriend he had a different younger guy in his bed just about every night, it drove me insane.

I went to get more coffee, Bray was still there and singing a song, John and Ray were at the table looking at the laptop, they seemed okay to have all that noise in the room.

"Brent, have a look at this." I went over and looked at the screen, it was my house without a roof, everything else was the same even Teds curtains were on display still.

"It doesn't look that bad John."

"It isn't Brent; the demolition was more cosmetic than structural. There will be a new roof and it will be taller but set back." He squeezed my hand. Bray had finished his song and was packing up, he said farewell to us and Conner showed him to the lift, I didn't want to look around at them so I don't know whether they kissed or not.

"Did you get much work done Con?"

"Yes Brent, he's going places I think. He even offered his songs to me to record. I can't do that to him he has to do it, I would feel like a fake." Sometimes when I'm in this kind of mood I get very depressed and words shoot out of my mouth randomly.

"And are you a fake Con?"

"Brent!!?" John stood up and looked me in the eyes.

"Sorry Con, John, slip of the tongue and all that." I laughed because that's all I could do.

I turned on my heels and made another coffee then went back to my friend on the balcony, he had fallen asleep on the big rug with the boys. I heard the door slide open and a young man sat next to me. I could hear his heavy breathing as I sipped my coffee.

"He's straight, and he has a girlfriend he loves to bits. I told him we were a couple because I won't deny your existence in my life. This is the last time he will visit me, I have given him the address of my vocal coach and told him when he's good and ready I will meet him at Marty's to go through some contracts. He's on his own as far as I am concerned and yes Brent, I am a fake. I fake my way through our lovemaking, our business ventures, our children's everyday lives and my undying love for you. Yes, I faked all that as you can see." He swept his hand over the boys.

I dropped my head and the tears flowed, what an absolute prick I am. Why would I think Con would cheat on me with a younger guy, that is just absurd. Grants news is getting to me and I have to snap out of it.

"I'm sorry Con, things build up inside me and I can't seem to rid myself of them quickly. I know you're not a fake and I know you love me as I adore you." I forced myself to look at him he was smiling.

"Did I help?"

"Yes Con more than you ever know, it's just Grant has just told me he and Stan have broken up. Stan is going out with a younger guy and Grants worried they won't connect again if it all goes belly up for Stan."

"He should kick the prick to the curb there no excuse for that, Stan was never my favourite person anyway, not after what he did to you in Bali."

"I told Grant he could stay here until he finds a place is that okay with you, he's been living at his headquarters in the sickbay?"

"Yes baby, anything you decide is fine with me. Just don't get any ideas." He laughed.

Con has forgiven me more than once over the past few years and this is another one, but I stared at him and replied.

"I expect you to film it Con, that's if you won't join in."

Again there was laughter in the Richards Walsh household and it was good, very good to hear.

One baby woke up followed by the next, nappy changes were done then the grandad's wanted a cuddle. They both sat on the sofa and fed the boys a bottle, Teddy was back in front of the TV, and Conner and I had to have a lay down before dinner.

He exhausted me in his special way, his ass was in my face for much of the time then his bush gave me a very nice beard as he tried to oil my throat.

When we got back Grant was talking quietly to John and Ray, so I looked in the oven and took an over fry.

"It will be ready in fifteen minutes Brent, please don't spoil your dinner," John shouted out.

"Okay," I shouted back. Conner had positioned himself next to the babies and was having a big conversation with them, they seemed interested, John and Ray had done their duty and I heard them say to Grant, he could move in with them if he wanted. John winked as he went past to check I hadn't eaten all the fries, you dirty bugger I know why you want Grant to move in.

We grew as a family that day but it was welcomed by all of us, we filled our spare time in making Grant busy and for now, Bray won't be seen until his voice strengthens.

I did go and look at the house, it wasn't as bad as I thought. The steel framing was going up and the builders were working around the clock to get it all done. I called into Di's with the boys and had a look at her plans, they were awesome.

"Honey, can you put another big chandelier in the music room, Teddy is fascinated with the big one at the apartment."

"I will see what I can do then, I thought he would love it."

"This all looks amazing Di, I am loving your designs, how are the Go-Shipping offices going?"

"The men have started on them, and by the way, Adam has got wind of being let go, and he's not liking it. He said he was worried that a stranger will be looking after his boys."

"His boys! well, let me see about that then." I smiled.

"Don't do anything, we are coping beautifully at the moment, and when the block of apartments comes around we are almost ready to tackle them too."

"You have already done them?"

"Mostly, we have picked out a theme and will use that all the way through."

"Is it nice?"

"Yes honey, Adam calls it the Brenten Walsh kitsch theme."

She laughed so loud Hope came by to see what the fuss was all about. I picked her up for cuddles but she slowly slipped down my legs to go back to her dolls.

By this time, I had learned how to feed my boys at the same time so I took the bottles and warmed them up, Di was about to do little Brenton anyway. I took a baby in each arm and she placed the bottles into my hands. They suckled away in unison, very happily.

"Has Mary been in touch yet Brent?"

"No, she said that her supervisor will be in touch when the court date is set."

"Good, let's hope it goes all well for you."

I hadn't thought about it, the babies are ours and that's where they will stay, with us. I started getting nervous and thought I had better call in to see Mary tomorrow and find out if she knows anything more.

Back at home, I asked Con if he had heard anything, his answer was the same as mine to Di. Nothing has been said at all in the past four weeks.

"Are you busy tomorrow Con?"

"No, just writing some words that's all, why?"

"I think we should go and see Mary for a minute just to get things cleared."

"Sure, we can go." He tinkered away at the piano until he realized the kids were asleep and John and Ray were at work.

He had me naked on the bedroom floor this time, and he had my legs over my shoulders trying hard not to laugh at the comical scene. He also had that bloody phone out filming me getting stuffed full of thick rock star cock.

"No faces this time Brenty, pleeease?"

"Oh, okay Con whatever floats your boat."

I let him get away with it because there were no faces, I wasn't worried about mine, it's his that is too recognizable.

"There hasn't been anyone come forward Brent and Conner. Hildy has been a bit busy lately, her friends got married up country, and one of them and their little boys were shot. You must have seen it on the news. It was a town wedding for two gay guys that have two little boys, Hildy is their best friend, it must have been awful for them."

"Yes, we saw that on the news last week, are they going to be all right?"

"Apparently yes, the bullet passed through one of them and lodged into the little boy he was holding, a mad priest or pastor did it. He also shot the guy's grandmother before he turned up unannounced at the wedding."

"How awful for her and them Mary, I hope they are going to be okay. It's so sad for them." I said.

"Well anyway that's what's been happening, so she hasn't had the chance to file permanent custody orders with the courts yet."

"I see; she has a good excuse then, we will wait until we hear from her."