Ascension

Ascension Chapter 4

Feedback is welcome. Jakob's story has some dark times. Longtime readers know light is at the end of the tunnel from Hi, I'm Lance. There are a lot of experiences out there in the world. Many people from the community have had to face a lot. Jakob's story is one of those.

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19

"How long did you room with this man?" Trevor asked.

"Christobal? He moved out after six months. He moved in with a cousin. He only worked the restaurant a few weeks after that. I was less than two months from turning 19, and I asked around at work. No one needed a place to stay, but a server had a brother who did. I didn't know him. His name was Timothy. It was not a good fit."

"Why so?"

"Timothy was a drug user. With my Christian upbringing, that was foreign territory to me. I wasn't comfortable with it at all. But. I was making rent. And the car payments. But as the new year started, I now had to cover insurance. Financially, it was tough. By my 19th birthday in April, I was starting to get worried."

"What happened?"

"It's funny how holidays are like milestones for me. I tend to remember events in relationship to the holidays they are close to. Timothy and I were sitting on the couch. He thankfully didn't smoke pot in the apartment, but he had come in from outside. I could smell it on his clothes. He asked why I looked down, and I told him it was my birthday. Like Christmas, it was rather lonely. I can say one thing, when Timothy was high, he was rather polite. He talked to me and listened to me while he was stoned, seeming to show empathy to my disappointing birthday as well as my financial plight. As we sat on the couch — which was nicer than Christolbal's — he grabbed a throw pillow and placed it on his lap. Before I knew it, he was yanking my arm to pull me down to lay across his waist. He started going on and on how the future will have a way of working itself out. While he was doing that, his hand was rubbing my shoulder and arm in a comforting way. I was slightly freaked out, but at the same time, it was the nicest thing about my birthday."

I wasn't attracted to Timothy. The whole pot and drugs thing was a turnoff. For some odd reason, this tender moment touched me. His hand kept comforting me. It moved from my arm to my chest. I found myself hard as a rock, even though he hadn't implied anything sexual. Timothy was an interesting character. I really couldn't figure him out.

I had gone to my bedroom when I heard a knock on my door.

"What was I thinking, man? It's your birthday. You're 19. You're still underage. Come have a drink with me!"

Startled, I stared at him. Timothy was only in boxers. He had a thin frame. His chest was hairless, but his hair was pretty long. His beard had become a bit unruly too.

"Wha ... where?"

"Here! The kitchen, the living room, whatever. Want a beer? A Jack and Coke? What to go smoke with me?"

"No."

Not wanting to completely ignore the thoughtful gesture, I opted for a drink.

"Um. A Jack and Coke might work."

We sat in the kitchen. He handed me the drink. I could tell he had smoked some more. He seemed even more stoned. I took a sip. I actually liked my drink.

"So. You're gay. I know. Do you ever date, dude?"

"I wish. I don't have anyone interested. Plus, I'd have no money to spend."

"Man, that sucks." He got lost in thought. "You're going without then, huh?"

"Without ..."

"Sex, man! C'mon. A man's gotta have sex."

"I'm okay on my own. I'd love to fall in love again, but ..."

"Wait. Again? Tell me more."

"Ah. Anson. He was my first love. Well, my only love. He kissed me in high school and from there ... we fell in love. Until we weren't. But it was great for a while."

"So what happened?"

"I'm not sure. He seemed to pull away near the end. We became like brothers. Oh, I was living at his house. My family kicked me out."

"Shit! That's fucked up. Because you were gay?"

"Exactly."

"What total shit. So ... you moved in with him?"

"His family took me in."

"So you were fucking your boyfriend in the same house his parents were sleeping?!"

"We didn't fuck, but ... yeah, we did have sex in the house."

"Whoa."

Timothy got up to grab the chips off the counter. I noticed the conversation had started to get his dick hard. It pressed against the light cotton. He crunched on a few chips. When he turned around, it caused his dick to pop out the fly. He wasn't erect but plumping up. To my surprise, he pulled it out and fondled it a couple of seconds and then repositioned back in his boxers. In his state, I'm not sure he even knew I was watching him do it.

"Fucking men is so awesome," he said.

"Timothy, you sleep with women."

"I sleep with anybody, man. Love is love. It all feels good."

He sounded like a hippie from the `60s. Or what I had seen and heard of them.

"A man's ass is definitely tighter. I'm just saying."

I didn't want to confess that I hadn't fucked anyone. Why would anyone care?

"I know you need it man. If you ever want, just ask me. We'll fuck."

"Uhh ... thanks. I kind of like it to mean something though. You know, I'd like to have feelings for the person."

"How sweet are you? You're an adorable dude. Someone will see you are a catch eventually."

"Maybe it will be a rich rock star who can pay for everything," I said sarcastically.

For a brief moment I pictured Timothy's cock inside me. I'm not sure why. I never really pictured Anson and I doing it. I was momentarily drawn to his kindness even if not his looks.

I finished my drink. I just wanted to go to bed at that point. I got up and walked over to his chair. He was sitting at the time. I gave him a hug.

"Thanks for rescuing my birthday," I said.

Back in my room, I slept naked that night. I thought of being fucked by Timothy again. I let my finger tease my hole. I wondered if I would even like it. The whole act just seemed so strange, if not a little disgusting. I stroked my hard-on while I thought about it. Just as I was about to come, I let my finger go in. I gasped, and cum started splattering my chest.

"Life took a harsh turn shortly thereafter. I watched money drain from my wallet. Rent and car payments and then insurance took most of it. Right after my birthday, my car made a funny sound. Then the light came on the dashboard. Before I knew it, a car repair took most of what I had. I had tried to save as much of the Petriello's money as I could, but it was being whittled away. I asked for more shifts, picked up extras from others when I could. The restaurant knew I was a hard worker. That helped a little. But I felt trapped."

"At that age, I'm sure you had not established any credit."

"Right. A credit card was years away in my future. I had a checking account. It rarely got above $200 once rent was paid."

"Yet this Timothy ... as you said used drugs ... he didn't have financial issues?"

"No. His job ... what was it again? I believe he had some kind of office job where ... I.T. or something ... it was a full salary. No wife, no kids, no pets. If he hadn't been into drugs, he could have had a much nicer apartment. He had a nice car."

"Was there a time when drugs became an issue?"

"No and yes. I didn't like him using them, but when he did, he was mellow. Super nice. They also made him sex crazy."

"Explain."

"He never seemed to `date,' so to speak. He would tell me who he slept with when he did drugs with friends. His circle of friends seemed to link drugs and sex together. When they would get stoned, they inevitably got horny. Sometimes it was with women, sometimes with men. He just liked sex period. With no inhibitions when high, whoever and whenever became a possibility."

"And you two ..?"

"Yeah."

I got quiet. I didn't know how to explain this part. It was hard to explain it to myself.

I got home from a shift at the restaurant fairly late. The night had not gone well. I told Timothy hello when I came in. When he looked at me, I could tell from his eyes he was completely wasted.

"How was your night?" he asked.

"Lousy. We were slow. Tip share wasn't nearly as large as I was hoping. I wanted to pay you back for my half of the groceries. I'll ... I'll get it soon hopefully."

Would I? By that time, we'd need more groceries. I didn't like money problems. I was going to have to look for another job. Or a second job.

"You need a Jack and Coke," he said.

"Why not? After tonight, what the heck."

I plopped down on the couch. Timothy came from the kitchen with two drinks, one for me and a refreshed one for him. I could smell both pot and alcohol on him.

Ten minutes later I found a second one being placed in my hand. I wasn't a drinker, but I liked these. Not as much as margaritas — which I hadn't had in months — but I liked them.

Timothy sat close to me on the couch.

"I have an idea. How about we just forget what you owe me for groceries."

"What? Why? I should pay my half."

"You can make it up another way. We'll be even."

"How?"

"Think hard. I know you haven't had any in a while, and right now, I feel like I could use some."

"Some ..."

"Sex, man! Let's do it."

"Um. About that. If you are talking screwing, I've never done that."

"Seriously? And you're gay?"

I slightly took offense.

"Anson and I were very affectionate, very loving. But we never did that stuff."

"Let me tell you. You will love it."

"Do you?"

"Huh? Well, yeah. I'm suggesting it, man."

"Which way?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Do I ... fuck you? Or the other way."

"Whoa. I've never been fucked by a dude before. I'm always the top."

"Then how do you know I'll like it?"

"Because. Because guys do, you know."

Then I said the most outrageous thing I've ever said in my life. Maybe it was the alcohol talking or the lousy night I had had. Perhaps it was because I had been thinking about fucking since Timothy brought it up two weeks ago. I didn't even hesitate. I just said it.

"How about I fuck you tonight, and you do me tomorrow night?"

I hardly ever used that word. I could tell the influences of my coworkers had an effect on my life.

"Whoa. Let me think about that. Two nights, huh?"

I was in such a bad mood; I threw caution to the wind and just made the commitment.

"Why not?" he said, throwing his arms in the air. "Love is love, sex is sex, pleasure is pleasure. I need something new."

His absolute disregard for any type of morals flabbergasted me. I was shocked at my own lack of any principles at the moment. Definitely the alcohol. The worst part was that I was actually relieved to not have to pay for what I owed. I had sunk so low.

We both slammed our drinks. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his bedroom. It had more things in it than mine — furniture for one. It also had junk laying around. My room definitely felt cleaner. I followed his lead. After he took off his shirt, I took off mine. He took off his jeans, I took off mine. Then he jumped on the bed. I laid next to him. I was hoping we didn't have to kiss; I wasn't really attracted to him, although the recent haircut helped.

Timothy started kissing me on the neck as he snuggled up to me. His left hand roamed all over my chest. He played with the hair on my pecs. I liked that. His hand groped my briefs. I wasn't hard. It was all too weird and sudden to be arousing. However, I followed suit and let my hand feel his crotch. His dick was definitely hard and getting harder. I got brave. I let my hand slip under the waistband. Timothy had a bigger dick than me. Most people did. It still wasn't huge — nothing like that obscene slab of meat in Christolbal's porn video. Like I did with Anson, I slipped his underwear down.

"Yeah, man, that's it."

I pulled his briefs off his legs. My hand felt his erection. I stroked it a little. I hadn't had another guy's cock in my grip in almost a year. It felt good. I hadn't realized that I had missed it. I was content jerking my own dick all these months.

"Nice, man," he said to me, caressing my arm.

I felt courageous in the moment. His dick was nice looking — cut, nice color, probably six inches, a thick vein which I found hot for some reason. His bush was nice too. Very manly overall. I plunged my mouth over it. I wanted it. I gave him a blowjob for a few minutes, and I could tell he was enjoying it. His breathing and moaning was fun to observe for a while. But then I realized if I made him come, he might want to call it quits there. I had made up my mind I wanted to screw him.

"What do we need to do?" I asked.

"Well, since this is your first time, I don't think a condom is called for. Let me grab my lube."

He gathered the lube and a towel, then hit the lights. His bathroom light was still on which gave us enough illumination to still see each other. He spread out the towel. I guessed this was to not get anything on the bed, but I could see some stains here and there on his sheets. I wondered why he bothered.

"This is so fresh, dude. I'm glad you called me out on it."

I pulled my briefs off.

"Ah. You're not that big. That will make this easier."

Swell. An indirect derogatory comment.

"Here. Take this lube and squirt some on your fingers."

I knelt next to him and did just that.

"That's it. Slide those around my hole, then gently stick a finger up my ass."

This all seemed so gross, so vile. And yet, I couldn't wait. It was my first time at fucking.

"Oooo," he cooed as my finger went up in him. "Wow."

I pleasured him briefly. It was fun to see someone react to my actions, sexually.

"Now slide some all over your cock."

I squirted lubricant in my hands and slathered my hard flesh. I liked how it felt. I thought of Anson's cum.

"Now slowly and gently stick it inside me."

Timothy spread his legs, and his hands lifted them in the air. I moved between them and got down on my elbows. My dick was right in front of his hole. I balanced on one elbow so I could position my erection. I poked it in the wrong places a couple times. I looked down at it again. The head went in.

"Oh!" he gasped.

"Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. It's just new to me. Push in a little more."

I pushed in a little more.

"Ummp." His expression did not look happy. "Gotta relax, gotta relax, gotta relax."

"Me?"

"No. I gotta loosen my ass muscles."

I started taking mental notes for tomorrow. I didn't think this would be so complicated.

I pushed in further. Now he moaned.

"Holy fuck! I'm being fucked. Who would have ever thought? Fuck me, man."

I started thrusting in and out. If I did too much, I could feel my dick almost slip out. I figured if my cock were longer, this would be easier.

"I'm not very good at this," I consented.

"Nonsense," Timothy said. "It feels good. Let's shift."

He rolled on his side and then lifted one leg in the air. I could see his exposed hole, so I moved up behind him. I pushed my dick back into him.

"Oh, yeah, this is better," I said.

"Sure is. Fuck me, dude. Fuck my ass, Jakob."

My arm wrapped around his chest, and I held him to me. I was so enraptured of being involved in my first fuck that I didn't really think about the fact I had no feelings for this man. It just felt good. I let myself moan.

"Yeah," he said.

Moaning and groaning made it all feel even better. He did the same. Our bodies were thrusting and writhing in his bed. He pulled on his cock as mine sawed inside his ass.

"I never knew being fucked would feel this good," Timothy said in surprise.

"You said I'd like it."

My cock was feeling sensations it hadn't felt before. The newness of this sexual stimulation was a blast. It's all I could think about. I kept pounding my hard-on inside him. Mentally, I was wishing I could go even deeper, but I knew I was as far in as my dick would go. But it felt good with each thrust.

"Fuck me, Jakob! FUCK my delicious ass."

We both became aware of each other's groans. It excited the both of us. We matched volume. I moved my head closer to his neck. Our mouths were close as we got even more audible. It wouldn't have surprised me if the neighboring apartment could hear us through the walls. I would have loved it if it were me listening.

"Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah." Timothy was definitely enjoying it.

I could tell this type of sex was going to bring me to climax faster than a handjob or blowjob.

"I'm getting close," I said.

"Shoot in me, man. Shoot that whole load in my ass."

Seconds later, the pressure inside my dick blew.

"Ungh!" I screamed as my cock thrust into him sending a major blast of cum into his passage.

"Ungh!" I screamed as a second burst of cum shot from me.

"Ungh!" I screamed as I shot more.

"Keep coming, man. Keep coming."

"Ungh!" I said as I shoved him even harder with my crotch. I pushed him almost a foot on the bed.

"Ohhhh yeah," I moaned as my final missiles of seed erupted from me.

"Wow. That was really hot, dude."

"I think so too."

"Roll on your back. While you are still hard, slide that dick back in me."

When my penis momentarily slipped from his rear, the enflamed red flesh was coated in my cum. He positioned his ass above me and lowered back down on my erection, which was beginning to fade.

"Ahh yeah."

He worked up and down my pole and I fucked it up into his hole at the same time. Timothy grabbed his dick and was violent in his stroking.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah," he said, his neck strained, with his vision aimed at the ceiling. "This feels so good. Fucking good."

I watched him abuse his cock with powerful strokes. The whole situation had made me hard again. I was throbbing and shoving and watching and loving it. I could feel my cum drip down my cock into my bush as his ass worked up and down.

"I'm there! Fuck, yes!"

His cock sent a wonderful stream of cum across my chin and neck. For some reason, I instinctively let my tongue lick it from my lip. I felt more hit my hairy chest. One shot hit a nipple. Finally the cum just oozed over his fingers and down to my navel.

"That was fucking amazing!" he said, with a huge smile. My cock was still inside him.

"I did like it."

"Worth some bread, milk and canned goods as far as I'm concerned." Timothy rolled off and lay next to me.

"Tomorrow night, you'll feel just what I felt. Wow."

I was still panting, beginning to notice the details of Timothy's room: the color of the furniture, surrealism art on the wall, cologne on the dresser, dirty clothes in the corner. Once I regained my breathing, I immediately had the desire to get clean. Who knew what all was spread up and down my penis? His cum was all over me. Whiter than mine.

"Well. Thanks, Timothy. That was ... uh, great." I had no idea what a person was supposed to say after sex. "I think I'll go clean up."

Stepping into the shower, I was glad to rinse all evidence off me. I felt filthy and sinful and ashamed. At the same time, it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. When I went to bed, my brainwaves were chaotic, but to my surprise, I fell asleep quickly.

Work was better the next night. I had more in tip share and now I didn't even have to pay Timothy. I thought about having sex once I got back to the apartment. I had a hard-on several times during the shift.

I opened the door at about 11:20. As expected, Timothy was stoned, but he had a drink waiting to place in my hand. We had two in a very short time. He asked if I wanted a third.

I leaned over to his ear. "Fuck me" was my answer.

Work had gone well, but I thought about being a bottom all during my shift. It excited me more than the tip share.

We stood up. As he walked to his bedroom, I saw him pull off his shirt. I was naked before I got there. He smiled seeing me nude and all my clothes piled in the living room. Tonight, I was fully hard right away. I seemed particularly excited to have sex, to have a man impale me with his hard cock for the first time.

Tonight Timothy turned out all the lights. The room was completely dark except for some very dim light coming through the window shades. Then I saw a flame quickly lit. A match lowered and then I saw a wick lit. Timothy had just lit a candle. It offered just the right soft glow to the room.

He laid next to me and started caressing my body with his palm. In the glow of the candlelight, I could see his penis move as it grew and hardened. I wasn't attracted to Timothy, but it was a tender moment. He probably wasn't attracted to me either. But being — I didn't even know what he was — straight or bisexual or what, Timothy seemed to not care. He was horny; that's all he needed to know. I wondered if he would feel the same if he wasn't wasted.

"Want to know a secret?" he softly said to me with his head on my chest and a grip around my dick.

"Okay."

"Know how last night was the first night I was fucked?"

"Yeah."

"All the nights I've done it with my friends, I'm always the one fucking. Occasionally I get a blowjob. I've never given one. Last night was so new, so fun, I want to try something new again."

"Uhh ..."

"Can I suck you, Jakob?"

I didn't expect to be asked. It had been over a year since Anson sucked my cock. Why not?

"That would be okay. Yeah."

Timothy stared at my phallus for a moment. He lowered his face and let my dick rub against his cheek. His nose slowly rubbed up and down my five inches. Then his tongue barely touched it. He licked a line up my shaft. He inhaled and then gently blew on the moisture. My dick jolted at the delicate stimulations.

His head moved upward, and I expected him to descend on my erection. But he lowered his head, and his tongue tasted my balls. One at a time, his mouth teased them.

"Oooo," I softly cooed.

He licked them some more like a dog lapping water.

"Suck me, Timothy," I softly requested.

For the first time in his life, his mouth took another man's genitalia in his mouth. I could feel his mouth salivate around my shaft. He moaned as if tasting ice cream.

"Nice," I said.

Timothy began moving up and down my erection. The nerves in my cock loved feeling his warmth. As he bobbed up and down the shaft, his hands roamed all over me. They groped my chest, they toyed with my bush, they gripped my ass. I was being felt up everywhere during this blowjob. The soft candlelight created an aura of romance where there were no feelings of any kind. Except sex. It was just sex.

I assumed Timothy would only want to try oral sex for just a few minutes. He groaned like he was having the best sex of his life. The noise traveled directly into my enflamed skin. I wondered if he was feeling obligated to bringing me to orgasm. Quite honestly, he was close. After several minutes of the pleasure, I had to pull him off.

"I don't want to come before you fuck me."

"Okay. I get it."

"You were very good. I loved it."

"Thanks, man."

He knew we were having sex. He had everything at hand: condom, towel and lube. There was a sticky strand of what I guess was called precum dripping from his slit. My dick didn't do that. I had never seen an actual condom before. It was interesting to see him roll it on his cock. I knew it was for my protection, so I felt a bit of respect for him, particularly in his stoned state.

He spread the towel and rolled me onto my stomach. I could hear the bottle of lube snap open. He dribbled a small stream into my ass crack.

"Eeek," I said, momentarily startled by the cool temperature. We chuckled.

His touch worked the liquid around the pucker of my hole. I felt a finger slide inside my ass. It was an unusual sensation. But I liked it. My face was buried in a pillow, but it had a huge smile. I was about to be fucked for the first time. I would no longer have a virgin ass. I was psyched.

Two fingers made their way inside. Oh. I tensed a bit.

"Relax," he said. I tried. I got used to it a little.

I heard the bottle snap open again. I knew he was coating his dick. I heard the bottle being placed on the nightstand. He moved my legs a bit apart. I could feel his body maneuvering in the bed. His body was above me. He kissed me on the back of the neck. The head of his cock was right at me hole. This was it! I was about to be fucked. I was excited.

The head moved in.

"Owww," I winced at the painful sensation.

"Relax, man."

I tried. It seemed too invasive. My body rejected it.

"You okay?"

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him to fuck me.

"No."

He pulled it out. He leaned up and fingered my ass for a minute again. I hated myself. I was terrible at fucking. I ruined it.

"Let's try again."

The head entered me again. He slid an inch or two in. I hated it. It did not feel good.

He lowered his body onto me. Like a weighted blanket, it somehow comforted me.

"Breathe for me," he said.

I let out an exhale of tense air.

"That's it. Keep breathing. Relax."

We were motionless for about 30 seconds. I just breathed. It got better.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

His hips thrust his cock into me the whole way. My instincts immediately screamed, "intruder!" But it was okay.

Timothy was gentle. His movements were slow. But they were there. I felt his cock slide in and out. I focused on the feelings inside me. Shortly thereafter, I moaned.

"Yeah," I said in approval.

"That's it," he said.

He placed his arms underneath my chest. His hands gripped my pecs and his thrusting increased. His shaft moved back and forth within me.

I was being fucked.

Timothy was audibly groaning at the point. I wanted to, but it probably sounded more like whimpering. I was really beginning to enjoy it.

I was being fucked.

"You doing okay, Jakob?"

"Yeah. Fuck me."

I was being fucked.

"Fuck me, Tim. Fuck me with your hard dick. Fuck me."

Timothy snarled in pleasure. I was analyzing every sensation. His cock sliding, his crotch ramming my ass, his hands groping my chest, the scent of the lube, his breathing on my neck — there was so much to take in.

I was being fucked.

`You like it Jakob? You like being fucked?"

"I do. It's good. Fuck me, Tim. I love it."

"Want me to fuck hard?"

"Yeah, fuck me hard."

His body lifted on his elbows. He thrust his hips faster. The gyrations made it seem like his dick was even deeper within me. I groaned. He groaned. I thought I felt a drop of sweat drip from his forehead on my back. His breathing was so hard, I could feel it on my neck.

I was being fucked.

"Damn, your tight ass feels so good around my cock, Jakob."

He pushed harder and harder, practically shoving me up the bed.

"Fuck me. Fuck me." I wondered how many times I had uttered that. I didn't really use that word at all. It's all I could think tonight. I was being fucked.

"I'm ... oh yeah ... oh yeah ... I'm gonna come, Jakob!"

"Do it. Do it inside me. Fuck me."

"Ungh!" he screamed as his crotch shoved my ass. I could tell by his jerking body language that he was shooting all his climax into the condom. As he unloaded his cum inside me, he kissed my neck, humming into my skin in pleasure. Pushing. Writhing. Releasing.

With his cock still in me, his body weight seemed to double as it settled onto mine like lava consuming me. He was motionless.

"Can you stay hard?" I asked.

"Huh?" he replied into my neck.

"I like what you did last night."

"Oh."

We moved positions. It felt unusual as I felt his penis pull from my ass like a plug. He pulled off the condom and wiped his dick with the towel corner. He lubed his shaft again. It wasn't quite six inches anymore, but still long. I hovered above his waist. He propped his dick up. I lowered onto it. Before it got too soft, we worked it back up inside me.

"Oh yeah."

We worked together. I moved up and down his shaft, while he thrust up into me. I was hoping he could keep it hard. It felt good still.

"Good job," I said. "You feel good in me."

"Yeah, man."

"Keep it hard for me."

I wanted to simply ride it a while. I enjoyed watching him last night. I wriggled my hips all over his crotch. He fondled my dick as it bounced up and down.

Then he got serious. He started working my cock.

"Put lube on it," I said.

He did. He slathered my cock, and then resumed pulling on my hard flesh. I moaned. I leaned back on my stiff arms and just rode his pole while he pleasured mine.

"Oh ... oh ... oh," I moaned. I felt like I should take it in my own hands, but I loved him doing it.

A few minutes later I leaned forward and held his shoulders as his handjob on my cock kept me moaning. I knew I was close.

"Harder, Timothy. Pull it harder! I'm about to come!"

"Yeah, man! Do it. Let me see you come."

My erection was a lightning rod. It pulsed with energy like a taser.

"Ungh!!!" I screamed as my cock unleashed.

From his grip, the first stream of cum arced over his body and hit his face.

"Holy shit!" he called out.

"Harder!"

He kept aggressively yanking my hard-on. Wave after wave coated him. It was everywhere.

"Fuck! Wow!"

I moaned and whimpered and gasped until my spike stopped oozing my cum. Timothy still pulled on it regardless. I smiled and softly took his grip from my penis. We looked into each other's eyes.

"Thank you," I said.

"And YOU! I really enjoyed that, dude."

"So you think you're straight?"

"Maybe when I'm sober?"

We both laughed hard.

The towel wiped most of us clean. I felt liquid leaking around my ass. I didn't like that. Cleaning up was essential to me. A washcloth got the rest. Two naked men cleaning each other didn't seem as awkward as it should have. I seemed okay with it.

"Um. Jakob? Care to snuggle with me tonight?"

Where was this going? Neither of us had feelings for each other. However, I had just been as intimate as a person can be with someone else. Why would sleeping matter?

"Uh. Okay. Heaven knows I haven't slept in an actual bed in ages."

We both put on underwear, and I got back into bed. For some reason, it all seemed weird now. At least we didn't kiss. That would have made it weird. Timothy blew out the candle after he finished brushing his teeth. When he crawled into bed, I felt my whole outlook change. It was like a layer of skin was being pulled off me an inch at a time.

"Quite a night, huh, man?"

"Yeah," I said emotionless, starting to be freaked out by what had transpired.

Then Timothy gave me the simplest kiss on the lips. "Good night."

He placed his arm around me, and we snuggled in that position until we both fell asleep. He did rather quickly. I didn't. My mind was a Roman candle, firing off pyrotechnic thoughts every few seconds.

What had I done? I didn't like this person. I didn't love him, for sure. My behavior was horrible. Fuck me with your hard dick. Did I actually say that? I screamed that! What had gotten into me? Did I want to have sex so bad that I had no morals? My father would be repulsed. He would be nauseated. Good lord, if my mother knew what I had just done, she'd hate me. I was a horrible person. No wonder they kicked me out. Fucking. I'm covered in sin. It's really gross when you get down to it. I mean, penises and butts. Gross. I'd gone insane. My ass hurt now. Holy crap, I did this for money. Or lack of it. Was I a prostitute now? I was a terrible person.

To help calm me down, I thought about how nice it was to be in a bed. I tried to concentrate on the softness. It was practically foreign to me now.

Timothy's arm pulled me closer to him. Seconds later, I could hear him wheezing in my back. He had drifted off. I just closed my eyes drowning in my thoughts.

"Jakob?" Trevor asked, snapping me out of it. "You seem buried in thought."

"Right. I ... I ... I don't think I can tell you this next part. It's just too ... dear heavens, you'd think the worst of me."

"I'm not here to judge you. I just want to understand how you got to where you are now."

There was no way I could come off looking respectable. I hated this part of my life. Did Trevor need to know everything? It killed me remembering this stuff. It really hurt.

"Okay," I started. "I certainly am not proud of this time in my life. I was really feeling the money crunch. I found myself running out and scared that I couldn't pay bills. A car problem really crushed me. I came home from a lousy night at work. My roommate was stoned. He got me drinking. He said there was another way I could make up what I owed him ... and ..."

"Sex."

I looked down at the floor. "Yeah," I said, almost inaudibly. "The sad thing was he thought it was a great solution. But I had lost my moral compass. I hated myself. It was the first time I had ever been f... first time I had ever taken things that far. I felt shallow and useless. And the worst part was that I knew I didn't have a solution."

"How long did this go on?"

"Not long, actually. After two nights, he seemed to go back out with friends and just do drugs and sex with them. It happened a handful of times, I suppose. Whenever I got late on grocery money. But ... I really enjoyed ... the sex ... and immediately hated myself afterward. I thought about it a lot, sometimes good, sometimes bad."

"I think that's a natural feeling."

"You probably think I'm a horrible person."

"Jakob. Trust me, there are significantly more wicked and distasteful things in this world than a young man exploring sexuality. Even under pressure."

"Sadly, it became a survival technique."

"Go on."

"About three months later, I had another car issue. I knew I couldn't make rent. Not any of it. My roommate had a solution. He had a coworker who needed a place just for three months until he was transferred. Since all I had was a futon mattress and chest of drawers, the idea was that I just move those two items into the living room. I could prop the futon behind the couch and bring it out each night. And we rented out the other room. I paid $100 a month and promised to do all the cleaning — the whole place. Even their laundry if they wanted. And this guy agreed."

"Did that work well?"

"Eh. Financially, yes. But I knew I had no real space of my own. Not that I owned anything that needed space, but no ... private ... well, space. I was existing, surviving. But I wouldn't say I was living. I certainly wasn't happy."

"And this roommate didn't invite you to ... share his bed?"

"No. He was super stoned one night and I ... uh ... `paid off' ... the water bill one month. I did it that night. That was the only other time. But a few other `bills were paid' before. Then the arrangement all ended."

"How did it come to a close?"

"The new roommate transferred to Austin, Texas. The one that did drugs was doing very well at his job. Surprisingly, considering what he did most nights. He was ready for a nicer place. He finished out the lease until the end of that year."

"Then what did you do?"

"It was almost the same scenario. I still wasn't making enough for the full car payment, insurance, living expenses and the big chunk of rent. One of the servers at the restaurant was sympathetic. I guess. He knew of my odd arrangement in the previous place. He offered me the same arrangement if I promised to clean the whole place as part of the deal. He and his roommate thought it was a steal. Once again, it provided me an out, a solution. So I took it."

"Did you get along with these two?"

"Mostly. For one of them, the one at the restaurant, he was the opposite of my previous roommate. When he got wasted, he was not polite. At all. He was a mean drunk. It worked well for a year. Things changed after that. I also turned 21, so ... alcohol also changed things."

* * * *

After reading this chapter, those that have followed my work may have one big question. For insight, go to the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com

Look for the post "19."