As You Love Me

This is a story depicting several touchy subjects, including homosexuality. If you are offended by this please do not read it. Do not distribute. A single copy has been sent to the Nifty Archives. Please do not post to newsgroups or websites. You may E-mail this story to anyone you choose, so long as you retain this warning and the author's E-mail and name. All characters are pure fiction, and any resemblance to any person or persons is purely coincidental. You can send me comments or criticism be E-mail to writer1234@goplay.com. If you like this story, E-mail me and I'll consider posting the sequel.

As You Love Me

Part One

By JB

The waves gently rolled into the beach, bringing a rich, salty taste to the brisk air. It had rained that morning, so the sand was wet and didn't blow around. I walked calmly along the boardwalk, retracing the path I had taken almost every day since I was a child walking home from school. It was startlingly windy, despite the fact that the sky was cloud-free. The wind forced my sweatshirt against my side, and I had to be careful not to slip on puddles, because the wind would just blow me over. Someone's hat blew off, coming to rest at my feet. I picked it up and handed it back to the person, smiling happily at her "thank-you." Suddenly, a gust of wind blew some dry sand off the beach, and a cloud of sand raced towards me. I saw it just in time to cover my face with my arms, protecting my eyes and mouth. The woman who's hat blew away swore as the wind blew the hat out of her hands again, but, fortunately, the hat got caught in a bush, and the woman could lift it free.

I remembered the myriad times I had come out to walk the beach alone, and it looked like this would be the next. I sighed and continued along the boardwalk. The birds weren't even out that day, due to the wind, and the air was lacking their many sounds, not that the could be heard over the wind anyway. I looked out at a grass area to my right, away from the shore. Ah. This place reminded me of my youth, when I would just sit at a bench and read for hours.

While I was distracted by my memories, the wind suddenly picked up just as I stepped on a wet spot on the sidewalk. I lost my balance, and was just about to fall when a pair of strong arms grabbed my shoulders. I looked up, startled for a moment, to see Tom Matek. His handsome face lit up in a smile as I looked at him. How I adored that look. It just made me crazy. It was the look that made me fall in love.

"Hi, dear," I began, "I thought I would have to walk alone."

"No way, honey. You know I'm always there for you. I tried calling to you, but I guess the wind was too strong, and I was about ten feet, uh, I mean three meters behind you." I couldn't help but smile at him. I had made him promise to try to use the metric system around me, because, although we were in America -- California even -- I preferred metrics, though I had been raised here.

"I love you, Tom."

"I love you, Bryan." We shared a quick kiss, though we knew we shouldn't, because we weren't 'out of the closet' yet.

I had just gotten out of "the Dungeon," as Mom called it when she saw it for the first time, really my office at OmniComp Systems, a computer manufacturer. Actually, it wasn't really that bad, but she gave it that nickname because my old boss looked like he was in a dungeon, because he was so overworked. I worked there as an electrical engineer, and actually liked my job.

"I thought you had to work late. What are you doing here?" Tom worked at realMEDIA, a special effects company, as a 3D artist.

"It turns out that the timeline was misprinted, and we weren't supposed to start Phase 3 until Friday. As it is, we're three days ahead of schedule."

"Do you want to sit down? I know a great spot right near here. I don't know why we haven't gone there yet," I said, pointing in the general direction of the park.

"Sure, hon, whatever you want."

We walked into the cover of the trees, and the wind died down somewhat, though it was still to windy to hold a book to read. We sat down at a convenient bench to talk.

"When I was little, before high school, and even during it, I used to come here almost every day, Tom. On weekends, I would leave after breakfast with a lunch, and stay all day, until dinner. And, during that time, I would sit here and read."

"Wow. I could never get myself to just sit and read when I was young. I would always go down to the park in Kellington and play sports." He paused for a moment, then added, "Why did you stop coming here?"

"It's a long story," I answered, "I'll tell you sometime."

"Remember, love, she doesn't know about us. So we'll have to keep apart if we want some pie."

"I know, I know. I promise I won't grab you and kiss you in there. Her apple pie makes it almost worth it."

"Oh, so now you'd trade me for pie?" I asked, feigning an indignant look.

"No, I said I'd trade you for her apple pie." He grinned.

We pulled up to my Grandmother's apartment. He stopped the engine and leaned over to kiss me. He intended for a quick peck, but I pulled him into an embrace and a passionate kiss.

"Careful, honey. I don't know if I can keep up my promise if we go on like this."

I smiled and broke the hug. I opened my door and stepped out, closing it behind me. Tom opened the driver side door, got out, and closed his door.

"You forgot to lock it." I pointed out. He blushed and pushed the LOCK button on his keychain.

"Sorry, hon. Thanks for reminding me."

We walked up the landscaped path to Grandma's apartment. I noticed a young couple walking down the path, his arm over her shoulder. They sat at a bench and kissed.

"Don't you wish we could do that?" Tom whispered.

"Yeah, do I ever. But I guess, if it means I have the person I want to spend my life with, it's a small sacrifice to make."

"You're right about that, babe."

We came across my Grandmother's apartment, 40B. I liked her place. For $600 a month, she got this huge courtyard, plus a two-floor, two bedroom living space. Tom and I were shelling out $500 for a two bedroom, one floor little place. I rang the doorbell. I waited a few seconds. Hearing nothing, I rang again.

"I'm coming, have some patience!" came the shout from inside. I smiled. Judith Porter was a sweet old lady, but she wasn't weak. Even at 80, the stairs were no challenge. She was probably too absorbed in her TV to come hurrying to the door. Right as I was thinking this, the door flew open with unbelievable speed, and Grandma literally lept out to hug me.

"Bryan, you've were a terrible person to not visit me last week! I had a pie all ready, then you called and said you were called to an emergency meeting! I had to eat the pie all by myself." She mock-scolded me. I smiled and hugged her back.

"I missed you too, Grandma." I gestured to Tom. "I'd like you to meet my room-mate, Thomas Davis. Tom, Grandma; Grandma, Tom." They shook hands.

"Well, you are really the hunk you seemed to be in those photos," she said. Tom blushed.

"Um, thanks, Mrs. Porter. Nice to meet you."

Grandma left us at the door, walking into the kitchen mumbling something incoherent. Her apartment was arranged with the main door connected to the living room, then a small hall with stairs leading up to the second floor, with the bedrooms. After the hall, there was a dining room and kitchen. We walked into the kitchen, but Grandma shooed us out, and sent us to set up the Scrabble board in the living room. When we were alone, it took effort to keep from kissing him there, but I knew that Grandma would be back soon, so I restrained. I took a look at the clock, and made a mental note that we had to leave by 3:30 to keep from being late for a meeting at my school, where I was a science teacher. School had started a month ago, and I had been kept busy for the whole time. A moment later, Grandma came into the room, carrying her famous apple pie. One taste and you were addicted. We set up Scrabble handed out the pieces, which was almost a ritual for us. Grandma loved the game, and won almost every time.

"So, Bryan, have you found a nice person to settle down with yet?" Grandma asked. I gulped. She hadn't asked me that before. She had always said 'girl,' not 'person.'

"I'm afraid not, Grandma." It hurt to lie to her, but what could I do? If I said 'yes,' she would suspect something, because I had said no to 'girl' last week. I glanced at Tom with a pleading look in my eyes. It hurt even more to lie about him.

"I'm sorry to hear that, dear. What about you, Thomas?"

"I'm afraid not, Mrs. Porter." He glanced at me with that same 'begging for forgiveness' look. I hoped Grandma hadn't caught that visual exchange between Tom and me. She was a sharp woman.

"So, Tom; where do you come from?" Grandma asked after we had started to play.

"I was born and raised here in Paradise View, ma'am."

"Really? Hmm. I've lived in Paradise View for 60 years, and I still don't remember ever seeing you."

"Grandma, PV has over 50,000 people living here. I'm not surprised you didn't notice him."

"Well, I guess you're right, Bryan. I can't know everyone."

"Did you work, Mrs. Porter?"

"Work? Why, yes. I was a nurse at the Hospital down the road for 40 years. Grandpa worked at the Oceanography Lab right up until he passed away, when he was 60."

"He was a scientist, too? Now I know where Bryan gets it."

"Oh, yes, dear. Grandpa was a very smart man. I guess the intelligence skipped a generation and all landed on Bryan here."

I blushed. "Grandma, I'm not that smart."

"Don't try to be modest to me, Bryan Jeffery Porter. I can see right through it."

"Yeah, buddy. Don't be modest." Tom flashed me that grin, the grin that made me fall in love with him. I almost fell out of my chair.

"Speaking of modesty, I just scored more points that you two have in the entire game." Sigh. Grandma would never let us hear the end of this.

We played two games of Scrabble for the better part of an hour, with Grandma winning both. She was good. We chatted idly about many things, mainly Tom's background, and ate the pie. Then something wholly unexpected happened. Tom won a game. Not only was I surprised that someone beat Grandma, but that it wasn't me. I looked at Tom approvingly, and saw the love in his eyes. I wanted to leap over the table and hug him right then, but two things prevented it: One, the table was old and valuable, and, two, I couldn't hug him in front of Grandma. Instead I said, "Nice job, Tom."

Grandma was excited too, I could tell from the approving look on her face. "That was good, dear. You're as good as Bryan, and definitely better than his mother or father. When I play them, it's no competition." She looked at both of us. "We'll have to do this again sometime."

Tom beamed and looked at me with that taunting face I loved so much. Once again, I had to keep myself from jumping to him, and I could tell he had to as well.

I glanced at the clock. 3:40. Shit, I thought.

"Tom, look at the time. We have to leave now."

"Oh, you're right! It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Porter."

"You have to leave now? Oh dear, I hope I didn't make you late."

"Don't worry, Grandma. I'll call you later. I have a meeting now, and I have to get Tom back to the apartment on my way there."

"Well, OK dear. I'll see you next week."

"Right. Next week. Bye!" I said as I grabbed my coat. I started to put away the Scrabble board, but Grandma insisted that she would, and I get going. I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll talk to you later, Mrs. Porter. Bye." Tom said.

"Bye, boys. I'll talk to you later."

"Love you, Grandma!" I shouted as we stepped outside.

"OK class, today you get to watch the next fabulous video in the Connections series." There were a few scattered groans and a few complaints about the "guy with the funny voice," but that was it.

Kelly started the video, then sat down to organize her grade book. She noticed a note she had written on a sticky-pad stuck to the page.

"Ms. Bruins, will you come here please?" Kelly gestured to her desk.

"Yes, Ms. Larsen?"

"Now, Jessie, I may be young, but I am experienced. I was just looking at your grades over the past quarter, and I noticed a great improvement over last your last-year science grades. What ever you're doing, keep it up!"

"Um, thanks, Ms. Larsen. I guess that I'm just paying more attention than last year."

She walked back to her chair, and Kelly to her desk. She finished her grade work, and glanced at her appointment book. Hmmm. Tom and Bryan had invited her over to dinner tonight. Good, Bryan would be cooking. She liked Tom, but not his cooking.

"Yes, Grandma, I did enjoy my visit, and I'm sure Tom did to. But we had to leave: I had a meeting at the school, and I didn't want to leave Tom there." I put the phone on my other shoulder. I was sitting in my cubical in OmniComp, trying to calculate out the effects of the magnets on an electron beam while talking to Grandma at the same time.

"OK dear, as long as you're not mad at me."

"Grandma, how could I be mad at you? Besides, if I was, I wouldn't get your apple pie, and that would be tragic."

"That reminds me, Bryan; you didn't take the leftover pie. Would you like to pick it up after your meeting?"

"I'd like to, Grandma, but I've got to run some errands after this, and if I leave it at the apartment, Tom will eat it before I get back."

"That reminds me, dear. Your boyfriend sure is a hottie. Be sure to bring him over again soon."

I almost dropped the phone on the floor. I just stood, stunned, for a second. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. "But... how... how did you know?"

"Bryan, my eyes may be old and week, but I'm not blind. I saw how you looked at each other. It's the same way your Grandfather looked at me and the same way how your mother and father looked at each other. I'd be surprised if they don't know."

"No, they don't. I'll never underestimate you again, Grandma. But please don't tell them. We're not ready yet."

"I know, honey. I'll let you tell them. But please do visit again. And this you keep him with you. I can tell your love is great. Oops, here's the bus. I'll talk to you later, Bryan. And don't leave him."

"I know, Grandma. He and I haven't left for a year, and we intend to keep it that way."

"Goodness! A year!? We'll have to talk later. Call me when you get home."

"OK Grandma. I'll talk to you then," I said as I hung up the phone. I looked out the window to see another dreary day. The sun was blocked by clouds, and it was raining. But from the 15th floor of the OmegaComp building, I could see most of Paradise View, CA. It really was a beautiful city, with the ocean to one side and hills to the other. I shivered and got back to work. But before I could start, my E-mail program chimed. I called it up, and saw that I had another assignment to work on. I sighed. I wouldn't be home by six tonight. I picked up my phone and auto-dialed Tom's work phone.

"Tom Matek speaking," was the answer.

"Hi, honey. Listen, I've had another assignment dumped on me, so I'll be home late. Don't bother to pick me up, I'll just take the bus."

"Are you sure? I can wait."

"Absolutely sure, Tom. I'll be home around seven."

"OK then, dear. I'll be at home. But we invited Kelly over..."

"Damn, I forgot. Well, I'll just have to ask to leave early. Never mind then, you can pick me up at six."

"OK, bye dear."

"Bye, hon. I'll see you then." I put the phone down again, then picked it up and called my boss.

"This is Debra Lexington, how may I help you?"

"Mrs. Lexington, this is Bryan Porter. Eh, I have plans tonight, so I can't work on the new project until tomorrow."

"What kind of plans? Got a hot date?" I could hear the mocking tone of her voice through the phone.

"Something like that."

"Well, have fun. Don't worry, you can start the project tomorrow."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lexington. Good bye."

"Good bye, Mr. Porter."

A few hours later, I was ready to leave. As I walked over to the elevator, I saw Mrs. Lexington walk out of her office.

"Hello, Mr. Porter. I hope you have fun. All I have to look forward to is another night of my kids arguing. I swear, I should have left it at one. That way, there's no bickering."

I smiled and nodded. "Actually, I don't have a date, it's more like dinner with a close friend."

"I see," she nodded. "Well, it's doubtless bound to be more enjoyable than my evening."

We stepped into the same elevator, which, amazingly, was empty.

"Mrs. Lexington, what do you think about that gay marriage debate going on right now?"

"Bryan; may I call you Bryan?" she added. I nodded. "Anyway, I think that, if two people love each other, then they can marry. I don't care what sex they are."

"That's what I think, too." The elevator reached the bottom floor, and we stepped out. Mrs. Lexington bid me goodbye, as did I to her, and we went different directions in the lobby. I headed to the East parking garage, where I knew Tom would enter. I picked up my cell phone and was about to call him, when his car entered the garage.

"Hi, honey," he said as I entered the car.

"Hello, dear. How was your day?"

"Pretty good. We finished Phase 3. You know..."

He was cut off by my phone ringing.

"Hello? This is Bryan Porter."

"Bryan? I heard that Kelly's coming over for dinner, so I baked a pie for you."

"Grandma, you didn't have to."

"I know, dear, I know, but I haven't seen Kelly in a long time, so I thought I might as well do something for her."

"Who told you?"

"Kelly called today."

"Bryan, I want you to know that I back you up 100%. But you keep Tom, you hear? If you break up, I'll have to whack you over the head with Grandpa's old cane."

"Grandma, what would Grampa have said?"

"I don't know, dear. But, from what I could tell of him, he would have been uncomfortable, at the least."

"What will Mom say?"

"I don't know. Your mother has never talked about it." She paused for a moment, then said, "Can I talk to Tom, dear?"

"Sure, Grandma." I gestured for Tom to take the phone.

"Hello? Mrs. Porter?" Tom said.

"Yes... No, ma'am... Never... I know he is... Yes... I guess so..." He handed the phone back to me.

"Grandma?"

"You're a lucky man, Bryan. I know Tom and you were meant for each other. I'll talk to you later, I know you have to make dinner. Have Tom pick up the pie."

The doorbell rang. I got up from the table and went to get it. Tom suddenly grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. He planted a big kiss right on my lips.

"Sorry, babe, but we won't get to do that for a while," he said.

"I know. Behave yourself, please. Kelly is my best friend."

"Don't worry. I won't rape you at the table."

"Rape? You? Rape is defined as 'forcing a sexual encounter.' You don't have to force."

The bell rang again. "Oops. We forgot Kelly," I said as I went to the door. I opened it, and there she stood. Kelly and I were best friends, because we grew up next door. When we were in middle school, we went out for a month or so, but both agreed that it felt to weird to date, because it seemed like dating, well, your best friend. In the end, we broke up, but remained best friends. Kelly was really all you could ask for. She was kind, accepting, and even pretty. I know that when we went out, I got a lot of jealous glances.

The bell rang impatiently once more. I crossed the final few feet and opened the door.

"Hello, Bryan. I thought I had the wrong day in my calendar."

"Hi, Kelly. Come in." We sat at the table with Tom. "Did you call Grandma today?" We both knew her as Grandma, because Kelly's grandparents lived hundreds of miles away, and she felt like Grandma was her Grandma.

"Yeah, I did, as a matter of fact." She paused a moment, as if unsure weather to continue. "You know, she's seemed awfully lonely since Grandpa died."

I nodded. "You're right about that. I visit her every week. I wish that my parents lived closer, so they could see her more often." Mom and Dad lived five hundred miles away, in Oregon. They didn't get to see Grandma too much. "Do you want to come when we visit her next week?"

"Of course, Bryan. She's like my grandmother too, you know."

"Um, I'll just go get the chicken," Tom said, rather uncomfortably.

"Oh, we've been ignoring you, haven't we? Don't worry, honey, I'll get it."

"No, you talk to Kelly. I know it's been at least a month since you last saw each other."

"Thanks, dear." Tom left the small dining area to the kitchen.

"Boy, I'm glad I introduced you two."

"What do you mean, Kelly?"

"It's just so sweet, like one of those romance novels. The perfect love."

I blushed. "Yeah, I'm glad you introduced us, too."

Tom came back into the dining room, carrying the plate of chicken I had made in one hand, and the salad in the other. "You never did tell us the story from your point of view, Kelly."

"Really? I didn't? Do you want me to?"

"Sure, I guess it's an acceptable dinner topic."

"OK, here it goes..."

Remember, Bryan, how you told me that you were gay? It was right after we graduated, and there were all those women trying to hit off on you at the restaurant we went to celebrate. We were, what, 22? When you were driving me home later, I asked you why you didn't accept any of their "offers." You said you weren't interested. But I knew there was more to it than that. I hadn't seen you go out with anyone in high school or college. I said about the same thing. Then you pulled over. I wasn't expecting you to react so suddenly. I thought you were really mad. You put your head down on the steering wheel, and I knew it was something very personal.

"Kelly," you said, "You're my best friend. I've always shared my secrets with you." I nodded at that. We always shared secrets. "But there's something I haven't told you about. Are you willing to listen to it?"

"Yes," I said.

Then you said, "Kelly, knowing you, you won't really care much. But I still don't know."

And I replied, "Bryan, whatever it is, I promise it won't make me think any less of you."

"OK, Kelly." You took a deep breath and seemed to stall for an eternity. Then you said it. "I'm gay."

I was shocked for a second, I had never even suspected that. But I wasn't lying. It didn't change what I thought of you. That was because when I broke my arm a few months back, when I was on an empty part of the beach, Tom helped me to the hospital. Before I was treated, we exchanged phone numbers, because I thought he was interested in me. Of course, on our first 'date,' he tells me he's gay, and he isn't interested in me. Needless to say, I was deeply saddened, but I forgave him and we became friends. And when you said you were gay, I knew I had to play 'matchmaker'. So I when I saw Tom at a party we went to, I had to introduce you. And I think you know the rest.

"Kelly, you've always been my best friend, and that won't change. And I'm so happy you invited me to dance with Tom. I've never regretted it."

"We didn't have sex until a week later," Tom blurted out. I blushed. Fortunately, Kelly laughed.

"Let me guess: Bryan was reluctant." She looked at my face. "I see we've got some nice capillary action here," she said, commenting on my blush.

I looked out the window in the kitchen. From what I could see in the light the streetlamp cast, it had started to rain, and it was coming down in sheets. I loved times like this. The only problem was that we weren't on the top floor, so we couldn't hear the rain coming down.

"Hello? Bryan? Are you there? You look like you're in a trance," Kelly said.

"Uh, no. I was just surprised by how much rain is coming down. We may be in for..." I was interrupted by the sudden howling of the wind against the window. Now the rain was coming down almost horizontally, and was splattering against the glass. There was a flash, and the power went out.

"Wow. It looks like we really are in for a storm," Kelly stated, awestruck by the sudden onslaught of fury. Thunder crashed outside.

"Damn, where's that emergency light when you need it?" Tom asked, referring to the emergency light in the fire alarm. Just then, it kicked in, and the living room lit up.

"OK, let's get the candles out. I'll find the flashlight," I said as I left for the bedroom. Tom went into the kitchen to find the candles. As I entered the bedroom Tom and I shared, I banged my knee against a chair. Suddenly, I remembered something my 8th grade science teacher had once said, "Shin- a very sensitive instrument for finding furniture in the dark," and, instead of swearing, I laughed. I opened the bedside drawer and found the flashlight. As I was walking out of the bedroom, I saw Kelly looking out the window.

"Bryan, come here," she said. I walked over to the window, and took a look outside. Water had already filled the parking lot, and I could see that the storm drain was clogged. On top of that, lightning lit up the sky. Tom came into the room with a bundle of candles and the radio. He set it down on the table and flipped to a convenient station.

"Reports show that a freak storm has hit Northern California, with wind speeds of up to 90 miles per hour, and several inches of rain. Thunderstorms are also reported in the area, which is rare for California at any time of year. Current estimates show that..." The radio filled with static for a second as the sky flashed with lightning, then continued, "The storm appears to be hovering over the area, with few signs of letting up. Citizens of this area are advised to stay indoors, and not attempt to drive around."

"Well, it looks like I'll be on the couch tonight, guys," Kelly said.

I shook my head. "We have two bedrooms, and since Tom and I share a bed, you can have the other room."

"Are you sure I wouldn't be a bother?"

"Not at all." I cringed as another shock of thunder rolled through the house. Just then, the lights came on.

"Ahh, good. Now we won't trip," Tom said. The power cut off again. "Damn."

"Well, let's at least finish dinner," I said as I got up and lit the candles on the table.

"Oh, a candle lit dinner, how romantic," Kelly sighed. Before eating, I picked up the phone to find it was dead.

We ate dinner while talking about miscellaneous things, mainly old stories and work. Near the end, the lights came back on, and stayed.

Just after we finished dinner, Tom got up and suggested we put away the dishes. Kelly volunteered to wash them, and, though I said she didn't have to, insisted that she did so because we were letting her stay over. I again tried the phone, too see if Grandma was OK, but it was still dead.

Tom and I sat down on the couch, watching the rain, with his arm over my shoulder. I picked up his hand and held it in mine. We continued to watch the rain.

Tom stood for a moment, breaking our embrace. I could still hear the water running in the kitchen, and Kelly humming to herself. Tom reached into his pocket and drew out a small case. I recognized the velvet design instantly. He kneeled in front of me, our faces at a even height. The light glinted off his smiling eyes, and I could see he was worried.

"Bryan, since I met you, you've eliminated every gap that I ever had in my life."

He opened the case and took out a ring.

"You've filled all the missing pieces of my heart. Everything that used to make me feel terrible is gone. Every empty spot has been filled with your love."

I could see that the gold ring said forever on the crest, and there were two small diamonds surrounding the words on either side. He silently lifted my hand and slid the ring on.

"For richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health; for better or for worse. Forever."

I found it hard to see. Tears welled up in my eyes and slid gently down my face. Tom lifted his hand and wiped them all away. I stood up from the couch and pulled him up and hugged him tightly, our bodies pressing against each other. My lips met his, and we shared a passionate kiss.

After a few moments of just standing there, hugging, I remembered my gift to him.

"I was going to save this for after Kelly left, but I figure it'll do just as well now."

I broke the hug and reached into my pocket. I pulled out a velvet box.

"Tom, you've made my life complete."

I lifted out the ring. It was gold, and had the word together inscribed on it, with a line of diamonds on either side.

"You've filled me with the love I never knew existed. While others went after my mind or body, you went after me. You showed me that love still exists. And I can return it 100%."

I placed the ring on his finger.

"Together..." I started.

"Forever," we both finished at once, although Tom's voice was choked. He hugged me tight this time, and we kissed again.

Kelly took both our hands in hers and put Tom's ring against mine. She then stood back.

"So, when's the wedding?"

I thought for a moment. "I really don't know. First we have to find someone to do it, then we have to plan it."

"Hon, are you sure you want to be wed in a church? I know you're an atheist..."

"I don't know. Kelly, what do you think?"

"I think you should do what you want to do."

"I want Tom to be happy."

"And I want Bryan to be happy."

"We'll work it out later. Right now, I just want to lie down."

"You're not going to change your name for me," Tom suddenly burst out.

"But if you think you're going to change your name, you're crazy." I thought for a second, then said, "I'm Bryan Jeffery Porter-Matek."

"And I'm Thomas Brandon Matek-Porter"

"That's great. I'm happy for you both, and wish you the best of luck. But, Bryan, do you're parents know?"

"No, I don't think so. I wonder what they'll say."

"Tom," Kelly began, "what about your parents?"

He shuffled uncomfortably for a moment. "They died a few years ago..."

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Kelly apologized.

"No, it's OK," Tom assured her.

Just then, the phone rang. I walked over to it and looked at the caller ID box on the receiver. It was my parents.

"Mom, we were just talking about you."

"Well, I just wanted to see if you're all right. The phone's been down forever. I called Grandma, though. She's fine."

I looked at Tom and Kelly. They both knew what I should do. Kelly nodded and Tom walked over to me. I left the living room and went into the master bedroom, which Tom and I shared. Tom followed me, and Kelly waited outside. I looked at the rain splattering against the window, and went over it for the thousandth time in my mind, something I had started in middle school, when I first realized it.

"Mom, I have some great news. I'm getting married!" I decided to inform her that I have a long term relationship with someone, so she wouldn't think I was just picking people up. Tom put his arms around me from behind, and I jumped, startled a little. I could feel Tom shaking, almost as bad as me.

"That's great, Bryan! To who?"

"Well," I started, shaking so badly I could hardly keep my voice straight, "I've been with this person for a year..."

"A year?! Why didn't you tell us, dear? Who is she?"

"Well... This person... Well, um... it's not a she..." I was a nervous wreck now, unable to speak.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, mother," I said, regaining my composure, and getting strength from Tom, "That I'm marring Thomas Brandon Matek, my boyfriend."

There was silence on the other side of the line. I knew that she would either yell or cry. It turned out to be the latter. There was quiet sobbing through the phone.

"Oh, Bryan. Where did we go wrong?" Oh, no, I thought, she's going to blame it on herself.

"Mom, it's not your fault. I'm as happy as I could be. I've found the love of my life. I'm perfectly happy."

"But Bryan, it's just not right. You should be settled down with a woman," she paused for a moment. I could hear whispering, and knew she had told Dad. The phone clicked a few times, and I heard Dad's voice.

"We don't have anything to do with you. Don't ever call us again." I heard a click, and knew dad had hung up.

I pulled the phone from my ear and silently pressed the power button. I dropped the phone on the floor and collapsed into Tom's arms. I felt the tears well up and sobbed on his shoulder while he rubbed my back.

"Honey," he started, then started crying too. I was kind of shocked. I had never seen him cry before. Suddenly, I had the urge to comfort him. After a few minutes, I fell asleep, warm in the arms of the man I loved.

I awoke hours later, to find Tom sleeping next to me. I got up and shook him awake.

"Tom, did I really call?"

"What are you talking about? Of course you did," Tom replied groggily, still half asleep.

"And did they... you know..." I couldn't finish. Tom didn't even need to reply. He got up and hugged me.

"Honey, I'm sorry."

I thought for a moment. There was something I missed. Then I became aware of the rain pounding the window. Kelly!

"Is Kelly still here?"

"I don't know. I didn't check."

I got out of bed, and was surprised to find I was still in my jeans and sweat shirt. So, Tom had fallen asleep with me, else he would have striped me before putting me in bed.

I walked into the living room, to find Kelly asleep on the couch. Damn! I told her that she could sleep in the other bedroom. Suddenly, Kelly stirred. She looked at me in the light streaming through the window, then jumped up.

"Bryan! You don't look so good... I take it didn't go well."

I shook my head. "Shouldn't you be in the guest room?"

"I don't know. I know you told me, but I didn't feel comfortable sleeping there... It wasn't the bed or the room or anything, it just didn't feel right." She paused for a moment. "Bryan, do you want to talk about it... your parents?"

"Sure, but I need some coffee. Do you want any?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said as she looked at her travel clock, "It's almost 5:45. Why don't we have breakfast, too? I'll help cook."

"Thanks. I guess we should have breakfast. It's Saturday, anyway. Close your eyes," I warned as I flipped the light switch. Nothing happened. I tried the hall light. Damn! The power was out again.

"I guess we're not having that early breakfast, then."

"No, but we can still have coffee. I hope you don't mind 'instant,'" I said as I got up to heat up some water on the gas stove. "You know," I abstracted while heating the water, "Tom doesn't drink coffee. He says it gives him irregular heart beat."

"Really? He never drinks coffee? How does he survive his day?"

I shook my head. Both Kelly and I were heavy 'drinkers,' gulping down cups of coffee a day. I had often wondered how Tom could wake up. I finished the coffee and handed a cup to Kelly.

"I'll check on Tom, then we can talk." I went to our room to find Tom asleep on the bed, the blankets draped over his lower body, and his muscular chest and arms were exposed. I looked lovingly at him for a moment, then walked over and pulled the blankets over him and kissed him on the forehead.

"How is he?" Kelly asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Sleeping like a baby."

Kelly fumbled with her coffee cup for a moment before asking, "You really love him, don't you?"

I nodded silently. I really did love him, and he loved me.

"So, what exactly did your parents say?"

"Well, first I told my mom, she was the one who picked up the phone, that I'm getting married. She was obviously happy, and asked to whom. I replied that I had been with this person for a year, and she was surprised that, 'I hadn't told them about this girl.' Then I said that it wasn't a girl, and she was stunned for a moment, and I clarified that I was marrying Tom. When I said that, she started crying and blamed herself. Then I told her that I was really in love, and perfectly happy. She talked to Dad, and he said he didn't want anything to do with me, and hung up."

"Wow. I never knew your parents would act like this."

"I was expecting it. But what should I do?"

"I don't know. But, whatever happens, stay with Tom."

"I know. I would never leave him." At that moment, someone grabbed me from behind, and I gasped. I looked up to find Tom hovering over me. He had heard my story. He took me into his embrace, and I smiled. I knew that, no matter what happened, I would always have people who loved me. The phone rang, shattering our moment. Tom looked into my eyes and I nodded. He released me and I slid over to the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bryan! I've been worried sick about you. The phone's been dead all night."

"We're fine Grandma, but Kelly got stuck here overnight. It looks really flooded outside."

"Yes, especially the areas away from the coast. How far are you, 15 miles?"

"Thirty miles, Grandma, near the lake."

"Oh, of course. I must not be thinking. Anyway, how's the street look?"

"It's totally flooded, and the parking lot is submerged. I don't think I'll be able to make it to work tomorrow."

"Well, it's not to bad here. The rain is just below the door, but if it rises any more, my first floor will be a mess."

"I told them, Grandma."

"Told who? What?"

"My parents. About Tom and me."

"Oh. How did they take it?"

"They're not speaking to me."

"Is that so? Well, I'm sure they'll come to their senses eventually."

"I hope so, Grandma."

"I'm not going to discuss it, Judy."

"How can you act like you don't care? This is your only child, and you're rejecting him?"

"It's not normal. He could have any woman he wanted."

"Don't you want him to be happy? Like us?!"

"If he wants to be happy, he should find a nice girl!"

"He's happy with this man!"

"Who is he, anyway? I'll bet he found him last week."

"Damn it! It's his room mate! Tom! You've seen pictures of him! In fact, here's one!" She tossed a picture of Tom and Bryan smiling onto the table in front of James. He pushed it away, onto the ground. Judy watched as it fluttered to the floor, landing next to her right foot. She leaned down and picked it up.

"They've been together for a year," she continued, more calmly, "Look at how happy he seems here. Don't you want that?"

Mr. Porter just grunted in his wife's general direction and continued to read the newspaper.

"Jamie, he's still our little baby. You can't just get rid of him. You cared for him for eighteen years. Eighteen years. From the time he was just a little baby to when he left for college. He's still the same little Bryan who you saw take his first step. He's still the same Bryan you read to at night. He's still the same Bryan who asked you for help in advanced math. You can't change that," Judy said as calmly. It was clear that her anger had died down.

"But Judy, it's just not right. I can't ignore that." Mr. Porter put down the paper and rested his head in his arms.

"You don't have to ignore it, just don't be upset about it. I'm sure Bryan feels bad enough as it is. We don't want to inflate it."

Mr. Porter picked up the picture of Bryan and Tom and studied it for a moment. Judy sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, looking at the picture.

"That's from half a year ago. Don't they look happy?" Judy commented.

"I don't know... I guess they do. But that doesn't make me feel much better."

"They are getting married. Do you think you could stand a wedding?"

"I suppose so. But my little boy... giving him off to another man... I don't know."

"I want to see them."

"So do I."

"Let's take a plane out right now!" Judy suggested, with almost child-like excitement. To her surprise, James agreed.

"I'll call the travel agent."

The storm had passed over, and the morning sun shone through the glass door to the balcony. The power was restored, and the streets were draining, much to my surprise. However, it still looked like I would be going to work, taking into account the weather last night.

"Well, school's been canceled," Kelly announced, hanging up the phone.

"I know I won't be going to work," I said. I glanced at the clock: it was 7:30. Normally, I would be on my way to the office in half an hour.

"I called my office, and the answering machine said to stay home. I guess I'll follow it's orders," Tom added.

"Well, I guess I'll be going, now. I don't want to be in your way anymore..." Kelly stated.

"Kelly, you don't have to. At least stay for breakfast."

"Well, OK. I'll make breakfast, you two can talk."

"No, we'll help. Tom can't do much but butter toast, but that's fine." Tom shrugged at my comment and made his way to the toaster.

We made idle conversation through breakfast, and Kelly insisted that she help with the dishes.

Just as we were washing the dishes, with Kelly pre-washing, me putting them in the washer, and Tom cleaning off the counter and table, the bell rang. I put in the last bowl and headed for the door. Looking through the peep-hole, I saw Mom face. I reached down and opened the door in a flash.

"Mom! Dad! How did you get here? The place is flooded."

"It wasn't as bad as you'd think. The local airport is closed, so we had to fly down to Camilla, then drive fifty miles up. The last fifteen were the hardest hit," Mom said in her happiest voice. This was a surprise. I expected her to slap me.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Porter!" Kelly shouted from the kitchen.

"Kelly! What are you doing here?" Mom asked.

"I was here for dinner when the storm hit. I've been stranded here since. I could have left earlier, but Bryan insisted I stay for breakfast. By the way, you've got to tell him to get a softer sofa."

"Hey! It came with the place!" I countered, giving her a false look of anger.

"What's going on? Who's there?" Tom asked, poking his head around the kitchen wall. I could see Mom tense up and Dad inhale, but I pretended not to notice.

"Well, I guess this is why you came here," I sighed and motioned for them to sit down in the living room. I closed the door and brought Tom to sit with me. My parents sat on one sofa, Tom and I on another.

"Um. I guess I'll be going now," Kelly stated as she grabbed her coat and headed out the door.

"Kelly! Uh, thanks for being there for me."

"No problem, Bryan. Call me later, OK."

"OK, bye!"

"Bye!" Kelly said.

"Bye!" Tom added, "See you later."

Kelly waved and exited, closing to door silently behind her.

"Well, we might as well get to know each other. Tom, you know my parents, Mom, Dad, you know Tom Matek."

Mom started first, "First of all, I want you to know that we are very excited that you have finally found your life partner. Despite that, we aren't the happiest people in the world right now. However, we aren't the most unhappy people, either. But, being your parents, we want you to be happy, and, although Tom is sure to make you happy enough, we knew that you couldn't truly be happy if your parents ignored you for the rest of your life. So we will support you, no matter what."

"Thanks, Mom. Dad?"

"I agree with your mother. We'll support you no matter what."

"When's the wedding?" Mom suddenly interjected. She blushed a little, then restated the question, "I'm sorry. When are you going to make this official?"

I held out my hand, showing off my ring. Mom gasped and took my hand. She looked it over, running her finger over the ring's smooth surface. She looked up at me with a tear in her eye, then got up and hugged me, then Tom.

"Hey, I got one from Bryan, too," Tom said, showing Mom his ring. She looked it over and whispered into Tom's ear, just loud enough so I could hear it, "I know you'll make Bryan very happy. Take care of him for us."

"Uh, Mom, Dad, where will you stay? We have a free room. You could stay there."

"Thanks, Bryan, but we're staying at that hotel down the street, the Emerald Inn, I think it's called," Dad said.

"Bryan, we should be going. We're going to see Grandma now, and you know how she is when you're late," Mom said as she got up. She hugged Tom and then me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Bryan, we love you no matter what. We'll talk more tonight. Dinner at the restaurant down the street. Rest for now, you must have not slept all night because of the storm. We didn't sleep because of the trip."

"Bye Mom, Dad. See you later."

"See you later, Bryan."

"Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Porter," Tom called.

"Goodbye Tom. You take care of Bryan. We're counting on you," Mom said as she walked out.

"I will. Bye," Tom called as my parents shut the door. They waved through the window and went to their rental car.

I collapsed onto the sofa, feeling the soft support under me. Right then, it seemed like the only thing keeping me in one piece. Tom sat down and put his arm over my shoulders.

"I'm beat, hon. Let's go to bed," Tom suggested.

"I'd like to," I admitted, "But I don't think I can get up now. Hey! What are you doing?" I exclaimed as Tom picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I simply sighed and mumbled about his back. He gently set me down on the bed. I got under the covers, as did Tom. I kissed him 'thank you,' and was about to fall asleep when I thought of something.

"You know, Tom, I've been lying. You know how I say I fell in love with you when Kelly introduced us?" I asked, turning towards him. He nodded. "Well, that isn't exactly true."

"In what way?" Tom asked, suddenly alert.

"I had already been in love with you. I've loved you since I first set eyes upon you, and that wasn't when Kelly introduced us. The first time I saw you was a couple of weeks before.

"We went to the same gym, right? Well, I first saw you there. You were down on the track, running laps. I fell in love then. Even though it was Winter, and you were all covered up, I still felt an attraction to you. Like some kind of a magnet. Unfortunately, I was driving away then, and I thought that would be the last I ever saw of you. But you were there regularly. I remember, in the second week, I saw you wearing shorts and a T-shirt inside as I walked past you in the halls. I nearly fainted right there. I was thinking, 'Damn! He's and angel on earth!' You were just so sexy. Then, a week later, I saw you without your shirt for the first and only time before Kelly introduced us. You were changing your shirt after lifting weights. I almost fainted and let the weights I was lifting snap my arm! I knew that you were probably gay, I don't know how, but I could feel it. But I was too shy to ask you out. At any rate, Kelly introduced us that night."

Tom started laughing. "What is it?" I asked, perplexed. I had expected him to be mad that I was worshipping him without his knowledge.

"It's just that I was feeling the same way. I saw you in the pool one day, and blam! I thought I would faint. But I was too embarrassed to go to the pool and get in with you there, so I kept my distance. I eyed you from a distance for a couple of weeks before Kelly introduced us. I was too shy to say anything to you before that, though."

I smiled. It didn't make me mad, in fact it honored me that Tom was checking me out while I was looking at him. I leaned over and kissed him. We stripped and lay naked next to each other. Our thoughts weren't on sex, however. We just wanted to be there next to each other. I put my hand on his chest, feeling the firm muscles and the soft hair. His body was covered with short pale hair, which made him luxuriously sexy. I felt his warmth against me, the light hair on his chest against my smooth one. He had golden blond hair, which he wore short. He always seemed to have a day's growth on his face, and it made him look so sexy. He was also very muscular. His arms and legs bulged with muscles. His chest rippled with proof of his hours of working out.

"Tom, I love you so much. If someone told me a year ago that I'd be marrying the guy at the gym, I'd laugh at him. But here I am."

"Bryan... I love you, and I am marrying you."

"You'd better," I teased and hit him with a pillow gently. He smiled and kissed me.

"Tom... when did you first realize you were gay?"

He paused a moment to think. "I guess I was in middle school. Eighth grade. As I recall, we got a really hot, young PE teacher. I took one look at him and blam. It hit me. What about you?"

"I guess it was in middle school, too. I would catch myself looking at guys on the beach. I denied it to myself until eighth grade, when I finally accepted it." I paused, debating weather to ask my next question. I decided to go for it. "Tom," I said quietly, "Did you ever have sex before me?"

Tom slowly inhaled. "No, I didn't. I wanted to save myself for 'Mr. Right.'"

I nodded. "Me too. I made a pledge to myself when I was in high school to not have sex until I found someone I loved."

Tom nodded, then looked at me. "You're lucky. About your parents, I mean. They were so accepting. My parents would have disowned me for good," he sighed, looking at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. They died years ago. It doesn't hurt as much now."

Something buzzed in a very high tone, startling me. I looked around for a moment, before realizing the computer was on. "Tom, you have got to stop changing the E-mail buzzer!" I chided. He shrugged and fell onto his pillow. Getting up, I checked the E-mail on the one computer we shared. We both had separate computers, but mine was significantly better, so Tom only used his for general web surfing and word processing. I typed in my password when it asked for it: ketam, Matek spelled backwards. Not to inventive, but it held value for me. I opened the blinking letter at the top of my almost full box. Expecting spam, I almost deleted it, but then noticed that it was a legitimate file. Quickly glancing at the sender, I noticed it to be my cousin Jessie. She was several years older than me, because my father was the youngest child in his family, and her father was the oldest. She was married to a man named Leo, but had divorced last year, and had one daughter, Margaret, who was ten.

Hi Bryan! Guess what? I got off next week, and can come for a visit! Margaret doesn't have school so she can come. I tried to call you last night, but the phones were down. Anyway, we haven't seen each other in two years, so I thought it would be a good idea to come over. We can stay at that cool little hotel down the street. It's OK if you have to work: there's plenty to do in Paradise View. Anyways, give me a call so we can make arrangements. Bye!

Jessie Porter

"What does it say, hon?" Tom asked, stepping behind me. I moved out of the way and let him read the letter.

"Should we invite her over? She is my favorite cousin."

"Whatever you want. But does she know?"

"I don't think so... plus she has little Margaret. I think we should keep out of public."

"Sure," he said as he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Oh! That's right. Sleep. I knew I forgot something," I said as I climbed under the covers, Tom next to me.

The next thing I knew, it was night outside. I glanced at the clock: 8:00.

"Hey sleepyhead. I was wondering if you had dropped into to a coma."

"Ugh. I feel sick. Do we have anything planned?" I asked, groping for the bathroom and some Tylenol. Tom realized this, and handed me Tylenol and a glass of water. I swallowed the gelcaps and lay down on the bed.

"Well," Tom started, finally answering my question, "we have dinner with your parents..."

"Uh. Don't mention dinner. I feel like I'm going to puke. Can you bring me a pan?"

"Sure. And I'll call your parents for you."

"Thanks, hon." Tom came in a moment later with a water pan and the phone. He set the pan down next to me, and called the hotel.

"Yes. Could you connect me with room 22?" There was a pause, and Tom tapped his fingers absently on the desk. A moment later, "Mrs. Porter? It's Tom... Bryan's not feeling well. I'm afraid we'll have to cancel dinner... Yes, me too. Thank you. Goodbye."

"OK, they want lunch the day after tomorrow. Do you think you'll be up to it? It's Saturday tomorrow, so lunch on Sunday."

"I don't know. I just want to sleep now."

I awoke the next morning at around 8:00. The first thing I noticed was that I was feeling better. I went to the bathroom to relieve myself, then walked into the livingroom. There was a huge present lying on the table, wrapped with purple paper. On the top, there was a red ribbon with a note tied to it. I picked up the note, seeing the careful scroll of Tom's writing.

To my love,

Happy Anniversary, dear! This is to many more to come.

Love,

Tom

Anniversary! I forgot. Fortunately, I already had a present hidden in the guest room.

"Happy anniversary, honey," Tom said as he appeared from the hall. "Well, don't just stand there! Open it!" he smiled, pointing to the present.

He walked over to me, and I gave him a hug. Then, bending down, I pulled off the soft purple wrapping paper. The first thing I noticed was the distinctive DVD symbol on the box.

"Tom... how did you know?"

"Heh. Like I could ignore it. You've looked at DVD players in the store like you loved them more than me," he smiled, playfully punching me on the shoulder.

"Thank you," I said, leaping up to kiss him.

"Hey, you deserve it."

"Thank you again. Now I have something for you," I smiled as I pulled away from him to the guest room. "Sorry I didn't have time to wrap it," I said as I opened the closet. "Wait outside the room," I commanded. He stepped out and closed the door. I picked up the large box and, finding nothing to cover it with, grabbed a bedsheet. I covered the box with the sheet and called for Tom.

"Hmm. Very professional," he mocked. I blushed and stood aside. He walked over the present, then made a big deal of it, carefully lifting the sheet off it, stopping and putting it down every second or so.

"Just open it," I said.

"I have to be careful not to rip the sheet," he smiled. Finally, he pulled the sheet off, revealing the box underneath: a new laptop.

Tom stood in shock for a few moments, then said, "This and the ring... Bryan, I don't deserve you."

"No," I replied, "I don't deserve you." I stepped over to him and kissed him.

"I love you, Bryan. Don't ever leave me."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"Now, let's watch that DVD," Tom suggested.

"Actually, since your laptop has a DVD, I went to an Internet DVD rental place and rented some stuff. They came yesterday."

"Cool. What movies?"

"Well, let's see. I hid it here somewhere. Oh, yeah. They're in the dresser." I opened the bottom drawer and reached under the sheets stored there. I pulled out the package of DVDs, containing the latest blockbusters.

Monday morning, things had calmed down quite a bit. My parents were leaving the next day, and were totally accepting of Tom and me.

"Bye, honey. I'm going to work," Tom called from the hall.

"Bye! I'll leave in a few minutes," I said as I stood up off the bed and kissed him good-bye.

"Mmm. Keep this up and I won't leave at all."

I broke the embrace and handed him his coat. He opened the door, kissing me once again.

"I love you, Tom."

"I love you, Bryan."

Later that day at work, I got what the secretary referred to as an 'urgent call.' I picked up the receiver.

"Hello? This is Bryan Porter."

"Mr. Porter? This is the Paradise View Emergency Room. We have a patient here named Thomas Matek. He collapsed just a few moments ago at work. We're running tests now. He wants you to come here..."

"My God. What happened?"

"I don't know. His records show he has had cancer before. This may be the same thing."

Everything after that turned into a blur. I dimly remembered telling my boss I had to leave. I dimly remembered getting into my car. Driving to the hospital. Asking where he was. The first thing I remember clearly was getting to his room. Actually, it wasn't really a room, but an isolation room. I had to don a paper suit before entering.

"Tom! It's me! Are you awake?"

"Mr. Porter? I'm Dr. Wilson. I am the attending physician," said another man in a spacesuit, startling me.

"God. How bad is it?"

The doctor hung his head. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do... but wait... and hope. He suffered a massive infection to the liver, the kidneys, the lungs... Everything. Apparently the cancer kicked back in." With that the Doctor left the room. Patting me on the back, he said he wished there was more he could do. I fell onto the couch next to the bed, my head in my hands. I waited there for hours. Eventually, Kelly stopped over for a half hour, and we talked in the lobby. My parents stopped over, too.

It was late. I decided that I needed sleep. The staff was nice enough to let me sleep in a room. I awoke the next morning. I gulped down a mint and headed to the iso-ward. Slipping on a spacesuit, I stepped in. The nurse shook her head. I knew Tom was in pretty bad shape. Tom had told me he had cancer when he was a teenager... but why now? Why now? I sat in the chair, sobbing. A few hours later, I heard a moaning from the bed.

"Oh God... Bryan?"

"Tom! You're awake!"

"Yeah. What did the doctors say?"

I cleared my throat slightly. "They said your cancer is back. It's worse than ever. It's demolished your immune system. You're in the iso-ward."

Tom sighed, looking at me. I wished I could take off the mask. "God, I knew it. I knew that it would never go away. I could feel it, like some kind of animal, biting at me. Then, after the radiation, it went away... but it's still there."

"Hey, we're going to win this. The doctors want to start treatment right away. We're going to win this."

"I guess..."

"We've found the problem," Dr. Wilson told me the next day. "Mr. Matek has a tumor located on the brain stem. It's very rare, but it's very deadly. This is the same tumor that he had as a teen. It's back."

I looked carefully at where the doctor pointed on the X-rays, noting the small bulge from the neck. "What can we do?" I asked.

Dr. Wilson sighed and shook his head. "Nothing. He's already had the maximum number of radiation treatments. Nothing short of a miracle can save him."

The words hit me like a sledgehammer. Nothing? "Do you mean to tell me that my love is lying there, dying, and there's not a damn thing we can do?!" I then realized what I was saying.

"Love? You mean... you and him?" Dr. Wilson said, shocked. Great, I thought, just what I need.

I sighed, deciding to tell him. "Yes, Tom and I have been together for a year," I said, expecting more shock.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "I didn't know. I thought you were just friends. I feel like such an idiot, telling you there's nothing we can do. But it's true... I'm afraid it's true."

"It's ok. I just feel so mad. Like there's something I could be doing..."

"No, you did all you can. You made his life happy."

"Thanks, doctor," I said, looking at the information he handed me.

"Here are some support groups. If you need them, that is."

I returned to the ward, finding Tom asleep. The sedatives left him like this, but at least they nullified the pain and dizziness.

Later that week, they let Tom out of the iso-ward. His immune system was back up, but he couldn't return home. He would have to wait a week... if he lived that long. He was asleep as I sat on the couch next to his bed, listening to his breathing, watching his still-handsome body move as he breathed. He had been given a private room, and I had filled it with things from home. I practically lived there with him, in a separate room the staff had given me. I spent my waking moments in his room, enjoying his brief rounds of awareness, dreading those times he was asleep. Five days later, he was still there. Around midnight, he awoke with a start, scaring me.

"Hey, I see you're awake."

"Bryan... I don't think I can--you know..."

"Hey! You promised. Don't die on me."

"Bryan. I don't think I can keep that promise."

"Tom... You're going to be all right, just wait."

"No, I'm not. Bryan, please. I've been here too long. I know I won't make it."

Tears streamed from my eyes. "Tom... I love you..."

"I love you, too. More than I'll ever be able to say."

"Tom... I've never loved anyone more than I love you," I managed to choke out. I kissed him gently, feeling his hot cheek against mine. He had a fever.

"Bryan... I... I want you to know..." he paused, as if he didn't know if he should go on. "I want you to know that... that I know you'll find someone else. You will. And I can only... envy that person. Promise me you'll love him like you love me. Make that person feel as good as I do when... I'm with you."

"Tom, I can't... I can't ever love someone else like you."

"Bryan, I... I know you. You'll... find someone, eventually... And that person... is going to be the... the luckiest person on this planet."

I couldn't speak. My throat was too choked with emotion.

"Bryan... I know you don't believe in heaven... but I... I do. And I promise... you, I'll be... there, always. Next to you... watching you... always. I just... want you to be happy... Please, Bryan. Promise me... you'll love someone like... you love me... And you'll be happy... and I'll be happy."

"But..."

"Shhh. No.... 'buts.' Just... promise me."

"I... I promise, Tom. Oh, God; I promise."

"Good.... And... I promise I'll... be there... for you... Always."

He gasped out the last phrase. I knew he was close. I put my ring to his.

"Together..." I started.

"Forever..." we finished.

"I love you, Tom."

"Love... you... Bryan..."

He dropped to sleep again. I reached around his neck to hug him, then kissed him gently on those rough, unshaven cheeks. I suddenly felt overcome with tiredness. I dropped to sleep on the chair, my head in my arms..

I awoke from the dreamless sleep and sat up. I felt lost and lonely. I knew Tom was almost gone. My heart felt empty, and I felt gone. I saw the sun peeking over the horizon, lighting the clouds with a surreal glow.

Suddenly, I felt it. My heart ached for a brief moment, then I could feel it. As I watched his still form on the bed, I could sense... him... watching me. I could sense him near me. And I could almost hear him whispering softly in my ear. "As you love me. Love him as you love me."

Later that day, I found myself on a deserted portion of the beach. I sat on a large rock several feet above the crashing waves, my arms wrapped around my knees. The twilight sun shone warmly over the water, it's reflection dancing on my skin.

"Bryan?" Kelly said, getting out of her car. She walked up to me slowly, then sat down next to me, staring over the water. I had hoped she would come.

"Do you want to be alone?" she asked, looking directly at me.

"No. I was hoping you would come," I said, turning to face her. Her long hair flowed behind her in a little flock, catching the sunlight.

"Bryan... I'm so sorry," she said, a tear dropping down her cheek. It glinted in the sun, like a little pearl.

"Kelly, you're my best friend. And I think Tom's, too. He didn't have anyone except you and me. His parents died several years ago, he had no siblings... no close family... he was alone. That hurts me."

"Bryan, you were there for him. I think you were enough. He was happy when he left, and that's what really matters. He had your love, and he loved you. That's how I'd like to go, anyways. With the person I love right there."

"I'm sure you'll eventually find that person, Kelly."

"I hope so," she said, leaning back. The first stars were peaking out overhead. We lay in silence for a few minutes, the roar of the ocean on all sides.

"I still can't believe it, Kelly. I keep thinking he'll just suddenly walk in. I loved-- I love-- him so much. And now he's gone," I said as I felt tears well up in my eyes. I let them drop freely down, streaking my face.

"Bryan... I'll leave you to think now," Kelly said, getting up. A tear dropped from her face to the rock. She turned, her hair billowing in the wind. I nodded goodbye to her. She got into her car, driving slowly away.

I sat on that rock for hours, watching the stars come out in the warm night air.

The next day, my parents and grandmother came to visit.

"Bryan, I want you to know that both your father and I share your sorrow. He was such a nice man," Mom said, a tear streaming down her cheek.

"Honey... Tom... he wanted you to have this. He hid it at my house. It was supposed to be a birthday gift." Grandma handed me the shopping bag she had brought. I removed a wrapped present, with a card taped to the top.

Hi Honey!

Happy Birthday! May we share many more together!

Love you,

Tom

Holding back the tears, I opened the package. Inside was a beautiful picture frame. Wiping my eyes, I saw that Tom had removed the store insert and had placed a picture of him and me. Tom was in the front, and I was behind, hugging him. We were both laughing. I remembered when we took this. In fact, Kelly was the camera-woman. It was a perfect day at the beach, from the summer before. Tom was in a gray T-shirt. I smiled as I remembered that I had always said that the particular shirt he was wearing made him look so sexy.

"Thank you, Grandma." I looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you, Tom," I whispered. I could still feel him there.

"We had better leave Bryan alone for a while," Grandma suggested. I nodded and bid them good-bye.

After they had left, I quietly stumbled to the bedroom. I placed the picture on the bed-side table and fell asleep.

The funeral was a blur in my mind, yet so clear I could recall every word the priest said.

Tom left a deep impression in my life. He taught me that true love still existed, but also that you must cherish every moment of life, because you never know when time will run out.

I sighed as I placed a bouquet of flowers on the grave. I could still hear him, like a faint echo in the open.

'As you love me... Love him as you love me....'