As the Willows Watched

Thank you for choosing this story. Sex accentuates particular moments but is far from this story's basis, if that it what you search for look elsewhere.

This is the work of the author and he alone holds the rights to it.

Disclaimer; if you are unable to grasp the normality of two people of the same sex being in intimate situations it would be in your best interests to stop reading and expand your perspective of this world.

Feel free to get in touch; writeroftheworldwriterofsoul@gmail.com

Humble apologies for the double up in previous chapters, may this clear it up.

Chapter 4

'You want to pull your buckie?' I asked. Knowing my bucky had a deep cone and huge bottle packing massive hit.

Inspecting it Brad agreed and inhaled the entirety exhaling and coughing so much he was dribbling.

'Yeah it's a dribbler, that's why I blow the smoke out the window so I spit it all out. Otherwise I end up drooling like a rest home patient' I said to reassure him he wasn't failing in any way. Failing at this was Brad's biggest ideological issue. I let him learn from some failures and reassured him of the commonality of others depending on what they were.

'Cold liquid plea - cough' he managed between his extreme coughing fit. I pondered whether he'd ever had a buckie before, if not, this would blow his mind. I pondered further if he could even talk after that one; I had packed it to the top.

I got him a freezing can of Coke Zero from the fridge, my fridge was kept at the lowest temperature - it's a fridge - and handed it to him. He downed the can and stumbled outside holding onto posts for support.

'You OK B?' I asked cautiously. I didn't want him to have a bad buzz or be so wasted he would freak out or spew or God knows what.

He nodded breathing slowly sitting in my blue wooden throne, that was built to look like and did look like a throne. I watched the stars from it.

'Yeah yup I'm sweet, just need to settle into the high. Never been this high in my life, what you do to me. You wanna have your way with me and ma body' he said like an Oracle glazed eyes.

'I don't think I need to get you high to achieve that babe, I'm gonna hit the buckie and sit with you good' I replied

'Good, then we will be the same level of smashed' he said

Laughing to my self I knew it would take maybe 8 of the same size cones to achieve that. So I had my single buckie and went out to chill with Brad.

He was long gone into the wonderings of the mind so I let my mouth do the kind of stoned talking it did best while people were as blazed as that.

'You know it's amazing what health benefits carrots have, just one a day can halve your risk of lung cancer. But talking to the dog is so much more mentally therapeutic for me, you know? I just tend to sip my tea and tell her how the cosmos is made up' I rambled

'How is the cosmos made up' Brad asked still distant but interested much more than anyone should be when that blazed.

'There is the Universe which is a state of continual expansion and within the hundreds of billions of galaxies much like the Milky Way that our own solar system resides in spinning in a vortex around the sun as the sun circles the centre of the Milky Way. Different galaxies are made up of different stars and planets and some are shaped differently, some long and thin some fat and wide. Some like the Milky Way are spiral galaxies and our Milky Way spins around two black holes that spin around each other. The thing with black holes is they have an outside ring like the edge of a circle called the event horizon - much like if you go over that horizon and event will happen - yet if do not nothing will happen. So we are safe from those black holes at the centre of our galaxy. Life is likely to exist on many planets in this Universe but unlikely to have advanced more than microbes like bacteria. The light that passes into our eyes from these stars has taken millions if not billions of years to reach us, this light is older than the earth and if we looked at those stars with a telescope we would be seeing them how they looked all those millions of years ago because the light we use to see what they look like is the light they emitted when they were millions of years younger as it has taken that long to reach earth. That's why they say 10,000 light years or 50,000,000 light years - if we look at a star 50,000,000 light years away we see it how it looked 50,000,000 years ago. For all we know that star might have burnt up and be dead but the light is still travelling and reaching us. Like the effect a great person leaves when they pass from this earth and the effect of Mum's curry as it passes through the body. That is one of the many reasons I love looking at the stars, the secrets they carry, the age of their twinkle while looking young to us is ancient and the source possibly even extinct'

'How do you know so much' Brad asked '...I can ask you most anything and you know'

'It's only because I like to know, I thrive off learning even when I don't have to read and learn. It's a strong part of who I am, always been there. To know'

Brad nodded eyes closed 'Do you think dick sucking counts as sex, cause you look so hot right now Wills'

I burst out laughing while he smiled 'If you can get hard we see about it'

Opening his eyes he stated with authority 'I get hard whenever I want'

'Likewise, you first and maybe if you want I will teach you a few things then you can try. Sound good' I said

'Babe that's the best idea all day, you make we way too horny. Just no sex no matter how into we get cause I'll forget cause I'll be with you and bein this blazed. I want that special' he said eyes closed again.

I was keen but we'd see about his dick. Maybe an hour. Or three. Or half depending - his muscles might absorb the weed well. Who knew.

He was hard within moments of mentioning it.

I could see him through my sunglasses in the peripheral of my vision lying back in my throne facing the sun all lit up Oakleys on. It would be me that had to make the first move and I would do it Messiah William style.

Sitting a while longer still taking notice of Brad through the corner of my sunglasses I stood up with the same grace I usually possessed. Casually without causing Brad to move I walked over to him; swiftly bending down embracing his mouth with mine kissing him with a kind of passion and devastating love that his whole body shook.

Leaning into him his cock was hard against the side of my leg as I continued to kiss him. Brad taken by surprise sighed as I kissed his neck moaning as my leg slid up and down his cock.

Deciding to give him the best blow job he will ever get - at least from anyone else as mine are always best - outside right where we were I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

'What? Shit! Wills we cant do it out here, what if someone comes. I know nobody can see but they could arrive or your parents walk up' Brad said

I smiled 'Nobody is coming up B, my driveway takes five minutes to drive and you can hear them coming from ages away. My parents do not walk here or actually come here'

By this point Brad's dick was already in my mouth and he was agreeing with everything I said. I worked slowly at first pumping his cock with my mouth, lips and tongue then licking the tip I fevered his sweet agony up causing sounds of all kinds. Stroking his body and ball I followed with best blowjob I have ever given. Brad convulsed exploding cum all over my t-shirt.

'I can't explain - just may God have mercy. I...that was pure bliss - I didn't know I could feel that good'

I messed his wavy hair 'Glad you enjoyed it ya stud. Now you know what that's like'

Moving his head very intently up and down he said 'Yes, yes. Oh I know exactly what it is like. Lucky your mine cause that is a super power only I get to use'

I laughed as I easily moved back into my seat 'I've sucked a lot of dick but now just yours aye B?'

Dead serious eyes came out from underneath his sunnies as he lifted them from his face;

'Yes, of course'

'I know Brad, it's rhetorical'

Sighing an ohh Brad lit back up again with a bright smile upon looking at me.

'You have my cum all over your shirt it's kinda like I sperm marked you.' Brad joked

We both laughed inspecting my t-shirt. I took it off and threw it in Brad's face resting back down in my seat.

Throwing it through the door to the house Brad did his fly and button up and stated he was better off now because he could check me without my shirt on.

'So I guess I get to try sucking your dick now?' Brad asked

With a gentle wave of the hand I said 'Nah babe, that was hot enough. We have all night and the rest of today.'

Brad was happy with that 'True. Ahhh now. Wanna lay in the lounge and chill to music until dinner?'

'Nah, I'm going to go and weed the front garden - that shit is getting intense I can hardly see the shrubs let alone their flowers' leaning forward and up off my seat in one elegant movement I stepped inside.

Brad followed me 'You want any help?'

'Yeah I'd love your help but it's all good if you want to chill B. But hey, your still pretty blazed so you know what you want to do and I'd do it with you if I was as blazed and you. So enjoy your chill time babe, there is coke in the fridge and Spotify for all your music plus the TV'

'You know ma mind Wills gonna use this blaze in a chill out. You're going to be just outside the window right?' he cozied into the sofa and found a good playlist on Spotify playing it through the stereo.

'Yeah. Why?'

'Because I consider it my priority to protect you, because I love you and because I might get bored and wanna come see you' he was plain in is innotation.

'Oh, cool OK. Yeah, the window behind the sofa' I pointed to completely affirm. Brad was pleased and closed his eyes eating popcorn from a bag.

Then weaving crawling fingers of green sprawled over the shrubbery and clung as I pulled it away. Clung for dear life. So I went into a WilDiam Mode and methodically with a deep ferociousness ripped all weeds from the garden and turned the newly exposed soil with a shovel.

Brad came out with can of Coke Zero and a look of admiration.

'Shit Wills you dug the whole fucking thing over, never fail to amaze me my boy' he said drinking some of the Coke Zero and handing it to me.

I consumed the rest of it and dug the shovel into the earth so it would stand by itself.

'Enjoy your chill?'

'Fuck yes I did. Haven't chilled out that deeply in fuck knows how long, I feel like doing something physical now but by the looks you've gone and done it all' he said

'There's always the lawns' I said as an obvious joke.

'Sweet, where's the lawn mower?' he asked '...got any petrol in it?'

'Yeah should be half full, in the garage by the car' I said. Hey I was happy for him to do whatever made him happy.

So off he went and a few minutes later the rage and anger of the lawn mower was throwing itself throughout the countryside. I went back inside and vacuumed doing the dishes afterwards and cleaning the bench. Followed by an organisation of the house so it was as tidy I liked it with enough eclectic mess to still be whimsical with random things here and there.

I made a couple of tequila sunrises - albeit mine with so little tequila it was juice - and took them outside.

Brad was mowing every piece of lawn he could see but finished not long after I sat down.

'Ohhh YUM what are those?' he asked shirtless and sweaty again striding down onto the deck kick his boots off.

'Tequila sunrise'

'SAWEET just what I fucking feel like' he downed the glass at once. It a was very large glass about 600mls.

'Jesus did you put the whole bottle in there' he said making strange eye movements.

'Nah, most of it though' I laughed to myself

'You William Wells want to get me pissed so you can have you secretly kinky ways with me' he said all mischievously.

'Nah that would be a waste of tequila, you already wanna get with me and besides I could drop a pill in your Coke Zero anytime and have my way with you and you'd have no idea' came my casual reply as I sipped my tequila-ish juice.

'True. Well that was yum as despite the mega volume of tequila' he said

'Ha sorry about that, I was otherwise occupied'. Brad didn't ask with what, he knew it was the storm of thoughts in my head.

'Ah it's no worries Wills gives me an excuse to ask you to make me another now that I'm on the way. Sides I mowed the lawn I deserve a little drunkenness' he said

'Same amount of tequila?' I asked gliding my way inside

'NOT QUITE' he yelled. I chuckled making him up another sunrise with a little less rise and more sun.

Handing it to him he downed it at once again and sighed in appreciation.

'Do you down everything at once?' I asked shocked but not really surprised on second thought.

Sly were his lips 'Maybe you'll have to wait and see'

We both cracked up. Laughing firstly at his comment then just at each other's laughs then at the fact we were still laughing.

'Maybe you'll have to wait and see you muscly beast of man. I'm filled to the brim with surprises. You might be so surprised that you choke'

Brad flicked me a look of slight uncertainty then flashed his killer smile;

'If you could get my dick all the way down I'm sure you could teach me, besides don't we all know in the end it's the tip that matters?'

'Oh B you make me laugh you cray black gospel woman. Sucking dick like I do takes a lot of practice but sucking dick good is easy - suck it the way you'd want your own dick to be sucked'

'But you suck dick like a professional Wills and you know what that means?'

'What?' I was genuinely curious of what was going on up there in that head of his.

'Your gonna be getting your dick sucked a lot till I'm as good as you, even if it takes as long'

'16 years?'

'Yup least I'll have good mouth muscles to add to the rest' he said beaming.

What I liked about Brad is that he just assumed we'd be together long term. God only knows if we would be but it was the same way I thought when in an actual relationship. You're either in it in the moment and want to be for the future or you don't at all. Brad was the same, it was never assumed we'd breakup - you don't assume those things especially this early - but he was certain that he wanted me not just in his next few years but all of his years. Both of us felt that way and we knew each other did so we didn't need to talk about it unless it came up in conversation or for fun - we could enjoy each moment as we moved through it while feeling comfortable in knowledge we had a future as much we could control anyway. I mean the guy was moving his entire life for me, to be with me.

He jumped over and scooped me out of my seat taking me back to his like a husband would carry his new wife. Sitting on his lap with my legs over one arm of the throne and my back resting against the other. I nuzzled into his neck feeling the prickle of his few days stubble. Bush man in his blood.

'Wills you are light as, I could probably lift you the ground with one arm' Brad commented.

'I have need for bulk it get in the way of my swiftness when I run' was all I said back.

'So random change of subject but while I've got you in my lap we must talk. I go home tomorrow for a week..'' the last part actually sounded like he was in pain '...but I'm coming back with my trailer and all my shit. I'm moving in then'

'Sweet, that'll be fun'

He was happy now chest puffed out a bit 'So do we go halves in rent and stuff how will we work it'

Considering for no more than one or two seconds I replied 'Hmm well there is no rent here so that's fine. Power, Internet, Sky they already get automatically paid so maybe just add your on auto payment for the power - 10 bucks weekly - and it will go in with mine and all will be well'

'What about internet and sky?' he asked

'They're a fixed monthly sum and my aps already cover them. Just food because you eat my bodyweight daily so we can open a shared account and put money into so the shopping it joint'

'Sounds legit. I have a Lazy Boy and sweet new sofa so you can chuck that therapist looking sofa out' Brad scoffed

'The sofa remains, we will make room for your paraphernalia'

'Meaning?'

'Items that you carry with you when you get back'

'Oh cool, new word. Para-phernalia thanks for adding to my vocab Wills'

Chapter 4I

I awoke at 6am the next morning for my meditation. Brad would sleep for another hour before showing life; I had kissed his forehead before leaving the bedroom without causing no more than a murmur.

Peacefully focused on my breath for an hour I calmly did half an hour of yoga and made Brad a Wills Mornin Get Up Before I Get Back From My Run Coffee placing it on the bedside table. He was mostly awake when I went in fully kitted out in my running gear, I spared no expense when it came to running gear - if I was going to be running for multiple hours I would be comfortable - and he looked at me lust burning in his eyes. My t-shirt and shorts left little to the imagination.

'Please tell me your not showing that body off down some heavily populated footpath' he murmured

'No Bradley, this fine as hell body will be seen by nobody I'm doing a 20K down the rail trail. OK?'

Closing his eyes he said 'OK just be careful, I'll still be here when you get back'

I left him in bed and kind of flew out of the house; I am light on my feet. Setting up RunKeeper on the iPhone strapped to my arm with headphones in my ears I chose my play list and took off. The kilometres ticked by as I settled into the pace I would keep till the finish. Two hours passed as I leisurely ran a half marathon distance enjoying the sensations of the climate and music. Usually I would be 40 minutes quicker but this wasn't a race it was a run for fun and maintenance.

Brad was still in bed when I got home no sweat marks anywhere quite at peace with everything. He was talking to his Dad about shifting jobs which should be easy given his Dad owns the company Brad works for. You'd think so anyway.

'Wills got some news' he announced upon finishing the call and actually noticing I was in the house.

'Was just chatting with Dad. It did not go how I thought but it could be better I think. He owns the place I live in up there and wants to be more active in that part of his business as he hardly travels up that far to check it out. Which means his position here would be vacant and he wants me to do that rather than just the physical stuff in the bush. It means I wont get to go into the bush as often but I get to run the place and get paid twice as much. What do you think?'

'I think the idea is good. The decision is yours; I know how you treasure the bush. Just means we'll have to spend more time at the hut exploring. Go hunting, we can keep your bushman levels up. Would you enjoy being in charge of people?' I asked

'Ah fuck yes it would be mint. We're gonna have a sweet life with your pay and my new pay' he was excited like he just with all his heart wanted to happen now.

'What did he say about the fact that you were moving in with me?' curiosity took the better

'That if you were letting me move in we must be in love because he thinks you rarely act without correct cause' Brad laughed before I could.

'Holy shit, well, my Messiah frequency is being picked up. That is good'

'Come get into bed Messiah, morning snuggles'

I took everything off and jumped on him naked pulling off his undies we had a raging play fight where I just wriggled out of all of his holds. Naked bodies pressing against each other as we writhed stirred our dicks to full attention.

'Look what you did' I said in reference to my now rock hard cock

'Look what YOU did' he said pointing to the precum drip

Falling onto my back I exhaled 'What are we going to do about this?'

Brad was just staring at me almost drooling. Get yourself together boy.

'Well this is what I think. I think now that we know for sure I am moving down and that am gonna be the boss and get paid more it's special enough knowing I'm starting a life with you to maybe make love'

I had long ago decided to go with Brad's decisions when it came to actual sex because it was his first time and he wanted it to be special because it was with me.

'Sure babe if you wanna. We're both hard as hell' I replied

This would be nice. I would bottom the first time, we all know taking a dick ain't that great the first time so he would be able to enjoy it.

Sliding a condom over his cock I rested a knee on either side of his hips letting his cock slowly sinking into my ass. Rhythmically moving up and down with right twists and turns I rode his cock slowly until the tensing of his muscles told me he was about to cum. Still riding his cock but harder and faster I bent down filling his mouth with mine kissing him for all I was worth as he convulsed pulsing blast after blast of cum into the condom his dick throbbing in my ass.

We stayed that way until Brad's dick was soft and I flipped off his chest and threw the condom out lying back down beside him.

'That is the best thing that has ever happened to my dick. I can't even' he said

'...That's something I get to do now. Holy Shit. Luckiest guy'

'...Did you cum? You wanna switch and fuck me?' this manliest of men asked me.

'Nah B it's all-good your happiness is mine. Besides that was your first time, it was about you. You'll get your chance to go on bottom don't even worry about that'

'Sweet cause I hear it can be pretty fun too once you get into it' he said

'Where did you hear that pray tell?'

Quiet for a bit thinking 'You know, like in porn movies guys taking dick always enjoy it as much as guy giving it'

True enough I guess. I hated bottoming to begin with but like anything if you stick with it and let yourself accept it without fighting, just relaxing, it is fucking amazing.

'After 25 years of waiting for the right guy and the right time I got you and all of this. This is legitimate dream to real life shit Wills'

The way he said you made me melt a bit. Yeah, completely melt. Yet I remained composed.

'I'm glad how your life is working out for you' I said

Flinging his arms into the air 'What? That is all you have to say to all of that?'

'Well the way I see it B is that if your life wasn't working out this way, if you hadn't decided to visit our hut that night and motion me outside none of the amazing things that happened after would have happened. My life has become increasingly amazing along with yours which is why I can say I am glad how your life is working out for you. Because it's working out in my favour quite dramatically as well as your own.'

'You've always been so fucking well spoken Wills, none of the bush boys could ever understand half the words you used in conversation. I can comprehend most of them only because I enjoy reading'

'Thanks B, I am good with words I guess. However that is beside the point, we have today what shall we do with it?'

Pulling into a tight big-little spoon hug and kissing my neck he whispered a list of shockingly kinky things we could get up to.

'Spend all day in bed sexing it up you say?'

'Hell yes' he replied

'...we can have some breakfast then we'll try it the other way around'

Feeling his dick against my ass he already hard again. Following his lead in things related to new sexual experiences I agreed and slid out of his arms to make us a NutriBullet each for breakfast plus some bacon for Brad - he needed some meat.

It was sunny enough to drink/eat on the deck so that is how it went. Just normal talk about 'stuff'.

Inside and music pumping Brad carried me back into the bedroom.

'Let's fuck' he announced so casually it seemed like daily conversation.

Winking he added 'Or should I say let's have you fuck me. Be careful with that beast cock of yours though'

'Will do B, your in good hands'

'I know Wills, I'm nervous but excited it keeps switching. Either way, you're the only person that will ever get to fuck Brad Taylor'

And I would fuck him, slow at first but when he was into the feeling it would be balls deep and he'd be moaning for more. That's the way it always was when I fucked and when I was fucked.

I was not one to use my fingers in my or anyone else's ass as I didn't believe fingers should go there, you touch your face and food with them. Your dick has protection and if not it isn't touching your face and food so I had no problem with that.

Brad would be getting pure cock nothing more nothing less.

Laying on his back Brad looked up at me stroking his dick 'Well bring it big W'

So I did. Slowly feeling the tightness of his hole against the pressing tip of my cock I slid inside his warm ass. Bit by bit deeper and deeper. After a few minutes of slow pumping in and out mixed with kisses Brad was moaning. My cock was on fire with electric ecstasy. Brad came on his chest as I finished off cock still deep his ass.

'Shit, sweet butt B' I said moving to take my dick out of ass and lie beside him. He stopped.

'Nah stay there for a bit it feels good, man Wills that dick you got is pretty big - seriously' Brad said

I was used to my dick so it didn't look big to me. It was just there the way it was, never really thought about it. Anyway, it was still in Brad's ass - he'd apparently discovered quite quickly the pleasures of bottoming. Maybe it's my massive cock I thought to myself laughing out loud.

'I guess, so you liked it?' I asked

'Yeah...fuck yeah. It was amazing, so intense and powerful but n a different way to fucking' he said.

'Yeah that about sums it up' I replied

'Now we can role-play' Brad said

This boy was one surprise after another.

'How so?' I asked

He looked at me like I was missing the most obvious point ever made 'As in we can make believe who we and fuck that way'

That much was already obvious.

'Your fantasy first' he said smiling all wicked.

'My fantasy huh? Hmmm, well...I guess I do have a thing for American Grid Iron and red clothes on a guy'

Brad was up and off the bed 'I've got my red Crusader's game shirt I use for rugby training in the Ute and red rugby shorts - that fit the bill enough'

'Yeah that definitely fits the bill B go get them' - he was gone halfway through the sentence. Bounding back into the kitted out in his red rugby gear that hugged tight enough to show hints of the muscle beneath.

'Like?' he asked

He was way to fucking attractive at that moment for me to do anything but look at him so I just did that and remained silent.

Chuckling to himself 'You really do have a thing for guys wearing red sports gear'

Nodding I kept taking in all his impossible gorgeous features until he'd had enough standing there like a model.

'Seein as we're role playin you but that tight runnin gear on and we'll flow from there' he said

I slipped into my running gear which still lay beside the bed.

'This is gonna be fun' Brad said taking me in with his eyes.

'Fuck yeah, always liked the idea of being fucked by a rugby player wearing red'

'So I'm on top then, bring that svelte body over here my man'

To explain what followed would involve describing legs, arms and cocks moving in so many directions in such a large array of ways that the best sex of my life would become boring.

Brad's sweat could be seen through his rugby shirt, I remained sweatless. I could smell him musky sweaty man smell - they should bottle it as a comfort solution for guys who missed their bloke bloke.

'That took the sex outta me for today Wills. I think. That's to good not to do again but fuck I am fucked' he fell back onto the bed.

Resting my head on his chest I let myself synchronise my heartbeat with his. That had indeed been the most passionate love infused hot as hell sex I'd ever had. I was mentally enjoying the sweet after-feelings being so close to Brad.

'Is it always THAT good?' he asked out of the blue

'I can always be that good Brad and it can be better even. Though I gotta say that was the sex I have had in my entire life. Gospel truth to the choir singers of Louisiana' I said

'REALLY? THAT was the best sex? WITH ME?' he was so shocked he sat up my head falling off his chest.

Looking down into my eyes he waited for an answer;

'It was. Truth. I have had no better sex than that. The fact I'm in love with you and you are so passionate and intimate and close fuck it makes it like a different kind of sex all together'

'Making love Wills - maybe I can teach you a few things' Brad said

Making love. That's what it was. That's what we did and that's what made the difference.

'You know B I actually think I could. You're wild and masculine but you hold me and kiss me with this kind of passionate tenderness that is addictive' I said

'Wills you're making this wild masculine guy go red in face which reminds me you must take your lunch pills and I must make lunch'

That he even knew I lunch pills was something new. Actually pills at all. I took 24 in the morning, 2 mid morning, 4 at lunch, 2 mid after noon and 6 at night. I will not digress into why I had to take so much medication. I'm sure you'll find out further on; still I was pondering how he knew the minutiae of it.

'Read all your pill containers in case you forget to take them cause we all know you get caught up in that brilliant mind of yours' he said from the lounge knowing I would be curious.

'You are a thoughtful person Brad' I said

'Maybe or maybe it's you; you make me feel and do things I haven't ever felt or done before. I've always been me but you without even meaning to have made me better person by making me so happy. Plus I love you and it is my purpose to protect you'

'And you say the sweetest things in that manly voice. I'ma keep you'

'Good. Because I'm keeping you and it would be weird it was as a prisoner' Brad laughed to himself.

'Bradley have you been reading 50 Shades of Grey?'

'No William I read books not fan fiction' he said with all of the English privileged accent he could muster.

'Good, because you know I am completely out of anyone's control' I replied

'The creators themselves know that bro, you're a special kind of human if that's even what you are' his last words were mock suspicion. Kind of made me laugh a bit. If that's even what you are.

'I am the Messiah Bradley Taylor, I assume that is why I seem otherworldly and often godlike to you humans'

'Oooookay now get out of bed take your pills and we'll talk face to face instead of hollering'

I did as he asked. Both because he asked and because I was bored of being sprawled in bed by myself. I put my red blanket cape on for extra warmth despite the fact it was midday.

Brad chuckled 'You look like a count or baron or some shit Wills. Always a surprise'

'I need warmth surrounding me at all time or I will begin to shake, you see' I held a shaky hand out in front on him. He simply kissed it and wrapped it up in my blanket cape.

'You know, that could be an I've just been magnificently fucked by a rugby player shake' he added

'Oh it could be though I imagine you'll be fucking me magnificently for a very long time and I shake like this every day. Could be doubles shakes, oh shit B, double shake man'

'You need to get high' he said '...cruisy high, not blazed. Now have your Nutribullet'

Bah this man and incessant feeding me of nourishing things. Yeah I would have done it myself but it made me feel firstly like I was being looked after by the man I loved and secondly to be honest like a kid yet the latter only because I was so completely used to calling my own shots and doing everything by myself my own way without help.

Gulping the contents Brad shuddered as he watched;

'I watched you make your one the other night; carrot, capsicum, kale, broccoli, cucumber, celery, pumpkin, avocado oil, black cumin seed oil, turmeric, paprika, beetroot, cauliflower and leek. That honestly must be one the single most disgusting beverages a human could consume other than liquid dump which it kinda looks like' Brad stated with authority.

I look up at him 'Sweet face, yes it tastes unpleasant but the mental and intellectual knowledge of what good it's all doing for my body far outweighs anything as something as simple as taste. Body is a temple'

'Hmm well your skin is kinda like bright almost radiant and you never walk you almost glide. Maybe when I'm living with you I'll force just one of those concoctions down a day instead of four like you. Plus I have to join my old rugby club down here so it might give me a boost. You seem able to run marathon distances with ridiculous ease'

'It's extremely good for you. However the Nutribullet matters not at this time, what matters is spending the rest of the day with you' I said

'How about I take you swimming up the river?' he offered

It seemed like an awesome idea and I was down for it. Plus I enjoyed the way he said take you swimming. I knew exactly what kind of swimming he had in mind. Bradley had his ways.

The swimming hole at the river was free of other people and swollen from previous rain but the heat of the sun made up for initial chill of the water. Brad took me in his arms and walked me into the water holding me as gentle as if I was a baby.

'Shit fuck motherfucker this be chilly B' I shivered.

'That's why I'm holding you babe; use up my warmth there. Just for you though' Brad soothed holding me tighter. God his arms were so strong and the feeling of them around me in the water was beyond blissful. Brad swam us across to the other side of the swimming hole where there were some rocks to lean against. I was literally being taken for a swim, I was in no way swimming myself. '

Brad oh Brad. He loved it on so many levels. He loved the fact he was holding me and in that particular protective way that he always did, he loved the fact that our bodies were pressed together and he loved that he was directing the flow of activities. It was written all over his face the profound sense of ecstasy that he was feeling. Just swishing through the water with me I his arms.

Lying against the rocks with myself resting back between Brad's legs and himself stretched out backwards.

'I quite like holding you Wills' Brad said all of the sudden.

'You do it so well B. It is exquisite being in your arms, completely beautiful'

'Yeah they fit around you like those rings you see that lock into each other perfectly' Brad said

A beautiful simile. Fuck it. I didn't swear much, well I did swear on occasion verbally and frequently in my mind but that fucking God damn smiling had it's own electricity. Maybe I was just especially susceptible to it because I was obviously in love with the boy but when ever it got flashed in public people still stumbled their words.

'You know what I like other than that utterly ridiculously perfect smile you have? The way you say in the most casually masculine way the most sweet romantic things, I know I've said it before. But B it is extremely attractive'

I couldn't see his face so had no idea of his expression anymore. But he still had a response.

'I dunno when I am with you Wills I say the truth about how I feel and those words that I say I don't chose them to sound or be that way. They flow like this river from a deeper source'

'Bradley, I don't know what to say'

He sat up immediately 'YOU don't know what to say. Ha therefore I have a power the power to overcome your ability to have something quirky, funny or intelligent to say about every single utterance a human being could produce. I win'

'Yeah you have left me at a loss for words at least in regards to that statement because I am speaking now'

'I still win. Ah the sweet feeling of leaving someone so articulate and fluent so speechless'

'I am speaking though' I said

'Yeah I know but the point remains Wills'

I let him have his glory if that's what you'd call it. He could have all he liked as him leaving me speechless was no problem of mine in fact it was the opposite. The melody of his manly voice and the words mixed into this flawless cacophony of romantic indulgence in my brain and body.

'You see maybe it is the fact that I quite enjoy the idea that you leave me speechless because it seems every time you do it is with something unbelievably sweet'

'Cause I am sweet. You know like those toffee bricks; sweet, hard and chewy at the end'

'Babe if I chewed it at the end you'd not be pleased'

'Nah Wills chewy as in gooey when you know me like you or basically are you. You're the only one that gets that part out of me'

He did have that soft gooey romantic incredibly sweet side to him that you would never not for the slightest flicker of a moment think he had upon looking at him.

'Oh we're having dinner with my folks tonight' I stated

Brad's legs contracted slightly 'Oh yeah. Sounds fun. Shit I don't have a proper shirt just jeans a singlet left that are still clean'

I could not help but laugh 'Jesus Brad you know my parents especially Dad, he'll be stoned eating dinner on the sofa and Mum will be on her MacBook looking at whatever she looks at asking us mother questions of which neither of us need to fear'

'Yeah true, that's pretty much exactly how it'd be' he started chuckling along with me.

Getting home was great. The river was freezing despite Brad's ample warmth and we didn't do much swimming just laying about wrapped up in each other so my body didn't really heat up and the water sucked the warmth out faster than Brad's body could put it back in.

I made a Nutribullet for myself immediately not bothering for Brad. Two a day was shock enough to his body. I did make him one with homemade coconut honey yoghurt, blueberries, raspberries, kiwifruit and banana in which he took to like a week long dehydrated island human. Yeah there were sugars in it but they were natural and there was a large amount of goodness.

Brad would be leaving the next day and our three night two and two bit day honeymoon like weekend would be over until the next one. When the man would be moving in. Literally. Lucky for our situation though my house was filled with quirky eccentric knick knacks it was still very sparse in terms of furniture and overall typically large household objects people had like a dining room table and chairs. I had neither just a, empty dining room, it would be easy to fit Brad's copious amount of furniture and other belongings into his new home. I did live a lot like a monk but I was happy to change it up for Brad.

He, I guess like many hundreds of millions of people of people out there, had this thing where he would bite his bottom lip for one of two reasons. The first being he was worried about something and the second he wanted to ask me something but was embarrassed. Sometimes both. I digress. He was biting his lip before my very sparkly green eyes and I would find out why.

'What's on you're mind my man?' I asked casually adding no extra innotations in any direction.

'Funny you ask bro. It's the weirdest thing. I actually feel worried about going back to work, you know? Well no you wouldn't like I mean it at this very fucking moment. I am not like worried about work itself I'm worried what work is forcing me to leave. I don't wanna be away from you even for a few days'

It wasn't only his continuous almost barrage of perfection but the fact when I asked him what was on his mind or something similar he would willingly, openly, freely and lovingly share with me. I'd never experienced that in a guy other than myself before it was remarkable that I was blessed enough to have him be so completely in love with me.

'Just give them a doctors certificate for the last two weeks of you contract siting stress and underlying depression causing the move and move in with me properly two weeks early while still getting paid' I said simply after all it was simple.

Brad scoffed 'Wills your smart but that is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. My doctor is five hours away, I have no doctor that remembers me in Thames and even if I got an appointment with a doctor they won't just write me out a certificate for two weeks. Maybe a few days'

'Really?' I said in mock surprise flipping the screen of my MacBook and logging into the Hospital's Intranet looking for the Medical Certificate Employee and ACC forms filling them out on the computer and every now and then asking Brad random questions like driver license number etc eventually completely him a certificate and organising the ACC. Emailing a scanned and verified copy to his boss in Whangarei I had sorted it out before finishing my post Nutribullet one litre of water.

'What the fuck was that about b? Driver's license number?' Brad was more than a little curious

'Babe you know how I can write prescriptions?' I said '...and they get filled because even though I'm a registrar I'm still a doctor?'

He nodded fully understanding but waiting for the kicker.

'I wrote you a fucking fully template legitimate employee medical certificate and ACC certificate for two weeks and emailed them to your boy in Whangarei''

Brad heaved air out of his mouth like he was vomiting invisible glitter.

'I don't have to leave you.' He stopped and rested back against the wall breathing out in a slow deep breath and closing his eye letting his head drop.

'Nah, you stuck with me boy'

'Good. That is the way it should be. Ha I can only imagine what you wrote as I don't actually want to know but can't help trying to think of anyway'

'Well maybe there are perks to being with a doctor, even if you are still technically in training you can write medical certificates and prescriptions. That is doctor to me'

'What are the perks to my job I wonder?' he asked openly to the universe.

'Firstly you your dad as your boss and he is sweet, you'd never have been able to move as smoothly and transfer if it was someone else as your boss. Besides you work in an extremely physical environment look at your body it shows'

Brad was laughing away 'The body gets you aye Wills, you can be as detached and Buddhist as you like but B's body is what you like yeah it is you can't resist'

'I agree, it's kinda hypnotising. The fact it's your body makes it fucking like cosmic especially like watching your abs as you talk. You're a mess of excruciating attractiveness Bradley'

I could feel him blush without seeing it.

'Look at yourself William, if we're using full names now and rambling cause I feel like rambling. You with your own perfect grace shrouded by your peaceful calm totally dethatched energy are so either peacefully absent at mind or totally consumed at mind that you fail to ever notice how many people look at you. With lust and passion and want and jealousy but with you there is awe. People see you and feel awe amongst the sledge hammer of beauty you emanate with every step. Your eyes shine out the beauty inside because you are profoundly open to all people and care about helping everyone. You have perfect beauty. It shines so brightly from inside you it is a light to everything physically beautiful about you shining through you're fucking skin'

Brad finished his speech and I reattached myself to the situation as half way through as I had to detach lest be so caught up in his words I was speechless a second time.

'Thank you B, you know if you speak like that all the time I'm going to have to call you strawberry mouth'

'No fucking way William, you get the sweet stuff because you and you alone make me gooey inside. And other than that nope. No strawberry mouth, what the fuck? Did you just randomly come up with that?'

I shrugged 'Well yeah I did but only so that I could hear that normal husky voice defending itself'

Brad was all swirly eyed 'Husky voice huh? I can make it huskier if you would like'

'B any huskier and Discover Channel would be at the door wanting to make a reality TV show about you' I said

His mouth and face screwed up as he rested his feet on the coffee table.

'William I am in no way that kind of toothless unbathed for over a decade deep voiced kind of person you see on that channel. I have all my teeth, a pretty good vocabulary and shower every day.' Brad said. He was actually a bit offended; the denotation in his speaking made it obvious. It was never my intention to offend just to mock Discovery Channel.

I always considered Brad as a mans man. He was my all counts and measures one of the most masculine people I knew. Yet he had such a sweet soft and frequently romantic side to him that the two contrasting sides often left me sitting in awe. Watching this gorgeous guy flawlessly defined by his beautiful face, bulging muscles and swirling eyes was an experience unto itself but when combined with the sweet flow of word that so often gushed forth from his mouth it was paralysing.

'Bradley Taylor calm your boots, it was just a joke'

'Yeah I know, though I am surprised you didn't laugh. You laugh at most all your crazy ass jokes' he said

'I was thinking'

Brad sighed 'I know. How is it that you think so much you can't laugh any more?'

I shrugged 'I'll have to think about it' then burst into deep hysterical laughter. I was in love with two people. Brad and myself.

He started laughing too 'You are off the chain'

I snuggled into him on the couch 'You do it for me Brad. In everyway that I need doing.'

He chuckled 'Like I know what you mean by that as a general statement but to be honest as soon as you said I need doing I got hard and now well shall we?'

'We shall' I announced launching from the sofa landing delicately on one foot and leaning forward to stretch my legs finger then palms touching the floor.

'You tease Wills. Do you realise how unearthly hot you look with your lil bubble butt'

'Thanks B, yeah I'm pretty good looking I guess. Though looks do not matter to me I am grateful for the appearance I was given'

'No no Wills pretty good-looking people are common you are to me at least perfection right here in flesh and blood. But hey let us not sit here and go on turn after turn how attractive each other is.'

That was true we would just go on about each other trying to verbally outdo one another. Though it wasn't typical of me to dwell of partners gone it was certainly not something that occurred with Mason, the last guy I was with. His communication skills almost ceased to exist entirely - verbally at least. He was always one for showing affection physically with romantic gestures and such. In the end I am a talker of everything and I needed at least some of that back in a partner. One of the many things that eventual cracked our relationship to pieces. All of the problems were either due to the fact that fundamentally we could not connect or ultimately did not want the same things - no matter how much I kidded myself otherwise. I still talked to Mason most weeks because as a person, a human being, he was one of the most decent I had ever encountered on the deepest level. Not someone I wanted out of my life all together and as we both found after a few months of healing we were far better friends. We thrived as friends because we could enjoy all that we did love about each other personality wise without the continual burden of romantic commitment and it's entangling web of conflicts it had brought us near the end. Both of us were in better places. I, being me, had devoted so much of who I was to Mason that I had lost my own identity and stopped doing things I liked and that kept me mentally well. He had lost touch with his close friends and was now happily thriving in his circle of friends again finding what he had lost.

Brad was unaware that I kept in touch with Mason. Not because I specifically chose it to be so simply because he to me it seemed had made a point of not engaging in conversation about exes. Which I admired, jealousy was at times for me a huge turn on yet with exes there was no need. They were called exes for a reason and were the past. Mason an exception but one that I would happily discuss and compromise with Brad should he have reservations. Mason himself was in a relationship, which added another layer of buffering to the situation. As I pondered why I was pondering this Brad kissed my forehead.

'I wouldn't even want to guess what you are thinking about, but you can tell me if it's bothering you' he said

'Well, it's not bothering me however you are more than welcome to know if you wish' I said

'Sure hit me' he replied

'I was contemplating the fact I still communicate most weeks with my ex Mason and how he is quite a good friend and how you may or may not react to said information should you ever come across it'

'Mason is the one you were with for four years before me, right?' Brad asked

'Yeah?'

'And you are mates with him?'

'Yes' I said

'I don't know him Wills but I do know you and he must have some redeemable qualities if you choose to be friends with him. I don't know him so I can't formulate a basis of trust but I trust you and that is far more than enough. You could be friends with my nemesis and I would still trust you Wills. So you can assume my opinion on this as all good' Brad said

I was smiling 'I already did B, if I thought you would react badly I would have told you outright so we could deal with it'

'But you said may or may not react so you must have been wondering' he replied

'I did wonder, I could never know exactly what you would do upon hearing that. But I know you too and trust you. Mason has a partner so do I. We are long very long past ever wanting to be back together'

'Good' Brad clapped his hands getting up. I couldn't remember him being seated.

'...cause we are each others now. So be it.''

My phone started ringing. It was Mum so I decided to dance to the ringtone, which was Thunderstruck by AC/DC until it finished then ring her back. I chose not to have a voicemail so you could continue ringing as log as you liked without the voicemail cutting you off and Mum always rung for an extended period of time giving me the chance to strip my shirt off and dance longer. Brad chuckled to himself watching me drinking in my body with his eyes.

'Will that was your mother you should answer your phone' Brad said

'She just wants to know if we're going to be calling in for dinner' I replied putting my jersey back on.

'I have a medical certificate, fuck it all I am sick' Brad said immediately '...I do not feel I can eat'. He was eating at the time.

'You do not feel you can eat?' I asked while texting Mum a confirmation.

Shaking his head 'Nope, I cannot. However I feel I could maybe suck something'

'Well you know. I am feeling particularly suckable' I said

'You look it. Come bring that dick of yours over here just remember it's huge and I'm new at this' Brad said

He was lying on my Freudian sofa with an arm stretched out in my direction 'Babe it's hardly like I'm just gonna ram it down your throat, do what you did before or whatever you like just don't bite. Too hard' I said with a wink

He nurtured my cock sucking it and pumping it with his lips and tongue until finally I blasted him a mouthful of cum. He never hesitated to swallow what my cock delivered.

'You know, your cum it tastes different than I imagined. I think I thought it was going to be like salty but it tastes like banana smoothie'

Once my mind gathered itself I replied 'Maybe I should wank more and bottle it'

Brad was most offended 'What the fuck Wills? The only human on this earth that will ever be tasting that for the rest of your life is me'

In a strange way I felt warm and bubbly hearing him say that despite its sexual nature. I felt warm and bubbly a lot lately. A nice feeling I thought to myself. To be having often.

'You know, you can actually die from a broken heart, so to speak. It happens often to elderly couples that have to been together for decades, often one will pass away and the absence is so strong in the remaining partner that they soon pass away too'

Brad smiled 'You know I think I would die without you'

'Well B you have lived without me for a while, maybe if I died now I think you would live' I said. I shuddered mentally at how I verbally vacuumed the deep romantic sentiment out of what Brad had said.

Brad was deflated but only temporarily 'That is true, but you keep yourself alive very well Wills. And I'll be protecting the fuck out of you. So in 70 years time if you died before me I really do think I would die not long after. If I died well you would probably live just because you are so supremely healthy'

After but a few seconds of profound existential contemplation I realised the truth of what I had said to begin with. If indeed Brad and I did make it to that age together and he passed before I my soul would follow him regardless of how healthy my body might be. Who really knows anyway? What I did know is that after that much time - all those years and memories - I would follow him into the unknown. With things like this we'd just have to wait and see.

'I can't figure out a way to smoothly articulate something that encompasses both my response and my beliefs about what you said B. But I don't think it would matter how healthy I am my soul would follow yours wherever it went' I said

''Wills, that is about as beautiful of a response as a bloke could get' he said kissing me with enough fiery passion to scare Australia further away from New Zealand.

'Good cause that conversation was going places too deep even I could not be bothered right at this time going to' I said

Brad laughed away as much as he could while kissing me again 'You, not wanting to continue a existential talk with possible discussion on recent quantum theory research?'

I sighed half-heartedly because he was absolutely true to be surprised; I thrived upon conversation deep and varied. However in this case my mental power was half what it usually was and I would rather cuddle than engage in discourse.

'B didn't know you kept up with quantum theory' I said

'I told you, I read. Quite a lot I guess and quite a lot of different things. Most of the reason I could always understand you when you were taking the piss out the drunk swamp blokes whose vocabulary is still in primary school' Brad said casually.

I attempted to shocked 'Brad that is a hideous stereotype. Yet considerably accurate'

'You know Wills for such a peaceful natured bloke you did take the piss out of them in some pretty brutal ways. You totally emasculated Spinner in one sentence when you were 10 and he had no idea what you meant. The only person laughing other than you and I was your Dad' he said it with this blissful nostalgic look his face.

'You know one of the aspects of you as an individual that I loved most back then is that even when you were five none of those swamp blokes scared you. I dunno why but they used to freak the fuck out of me because they'd always turn up in cammo with a boat full of dead ducks and guns slung over their shoulders already half pissed. They would yell at you from the boat like you were an adult and you would yell back the same way taking their grappling hook and hooking their boat up so they could come up. I hated doing that being around them and now I kinda am one in a way. Not like those fullas but a swamp bloke none the less. The thing is you always helped them yet the moment they disrespected you and even me, because I would be with you wherever you were, you would in the most brutally beautiful casual way annihilate the foundations of who they were mocking their very existence on earth. And they just had no idea because of how eloquent and articulate and precise and also because of how incredibly expansive your vocabulary was even at that age. Many times I would stare at them wondering if they could be so lacking in the mind as to not understand what was being said but never. I do remember you hated the bush at night because as you said possums perch when the lights go out B and I shall not be having them perch near me' Brad exhaled finishing his very well spoken retelling of events past with his own emotional additions. It made me quasi-blush thinking back then, even way the fuck back then he loved things about me.

'I do remember that exact saying B, repeated frequently however I remember you getting me to go with you possum shooting most every night anyway. And to be honest the bush at night with it's perching possums was never scary with you anyway'

I swear guys, well blokey guys do this thing where when they hear something that bolsters their pride they every so slightly puff their chest out as if to say 'YUS I AM CHAMPION'. I'd seen it a few times not enough to make a conclusive argument, I mean this is not a thesis, but Brad well he did do it. And he did it just now with a happy little grin on face. A teasing grin.

'Yeah only because I had a gun' he stated sounding as serious as he possibly could.

I shrugged 'Well obviously, I mean you couldn't really take on a possum bare handed it would shred you up. Possibly blind or even castrate you, give you TB or chlamydia - they carry that you know or is that koalas?'

Eyes popping 'I can kill anything. I can kill a possum bare handed you just break the neck. I'll prove it, we'll go possum hunting barehanded tonight'

'Babe that idea is filled with so much logical cohesion I may weep but how the fuck do you plan on catching the thing' I said

He thought a bit then stated 'We'll set a trap then I'll get it the next day and kill it' I had to laugh 'Oh in the name of Talandrya my favourite make believe African American friend Bradley you dick I cannot be fucked trapping a possum so you can prove something we both know you can do over a tease you started when we know full well I meant you not the gun. I would have you protecting me any day with or without a gun because I know that for some peculiar reason you would do absolutely anything even give your own life to protect and save mine'

Brad shook his head still with a small smile this time warm and knowing 'Wills it isn't a peculiar reason. It is because I am in love with you. In this insanely short time of being back in my life you are my life. Is it not obvious that I would want to protect you for those reasons? Not for some peculiar reasons'

'Sweet baked goods of Victoria street. God I have god to stop impersonating sassy Black woman my voice is too deep. Anyway. No I know B. Sometimes it seems unbelievable that you love me that much. I know I love me that much but that's me, I either love myself or hate myself. The former is by far the better option. As much as my medication and meditation holds me together upstairs the odd ball of doubt does bounce it's way around my mind'

'Well you love me that much right? So you can understand. I know you would do the same for me without you even having to say it' Brad said

'Yes B, fuck yes I love you that much and more and obviously I would give my life to protect you in the flicker of a heartbeat. But look at you? You are together; you've always been together. You are far more attractive than should realistically be allowed on this planet. And don't get me wrong I am not self hating here but I have been destroyed and rebuilt myself so many times that I have lost count and with my illness it's just enjoying the time until the next explosion. It's a lot easier to love you than it is to love me from an outsider's point of view'

'William you dumbass for once you have contradicted yourself. You aren't and never will be an outsider looking in at you. You would not possibly fathom how I see you. Every time you break you grow back together, why in the name of fuck do you think you are so unexplainably profound and wise for you age. Your sickness has devastated most of your life but this fucking epic human in front of me now is what has grown from all of the horrific shit. Whenever the next time comes that you have an episode I'll be here and we'll both grow from it and every time after it will be easier. I'll know how to help, what to do. You, you're like a tree with so many branches each branch so thick with other branches you cant see the trunk. There is so much more to you because of all that has happened to you and as a Psychiatrist the help you offer is so much more significant and insightful'

I cried all the time, for things that made me cry. Rarely from deep within my soul. I let my head slide over the couch and rest on Brad's shoulder and let the tears flow strongly silently down my cheeks. Hearing not just from a therapist, psychiatrist or other outsider but hearing it from Brad made it real. All of it. I knew he was in love with and loved me. But hearing that made it so real.

Brad pulled me into a hug that lasted as long as my tears. It was a big deal for me when it can to any kind of relationship romantic or otherwise my sicknesses. I disliked the stigma and the weight people often it unnecessarily placed on them. Not so with this one. Brad was different. As was I.

'That was coming from a deep place Wills, you Ok babe?' Brad asked still holding me into himself.

I blinked a few tear free blinks and breathed a few labour free breaths 'Yeah, I guess sometimes you're almost too good to be true'

'...if you weren't hugging me so tightly it wouldn't be hard to put this down to one massive manic episode' I said

Brad laughed a little 'Well ma crazy little fulla it's definitely real. Because you make me feel especially real. Besides babe you need to drink some more water and eat you're getting that wiped out medicated look in your eyes'

'I'll have a NutriBullet' I replied with the energy of a piece of tissue paper.

Brad looked at me and shook his head 'No, you need some real food. I'll make you omelette and you drink your water' his tone was serious and carried an authority I had never heard before and specifically directed at me. My natural response to such an order of sorts would be to do what I like and disregard the instructions. But Brad was serious and I was taken aback enough to comply while introspecting on the nature of it all.

Did I like this controlling type of language and behaviour? Well if I was honest with myself, yes I did - to a point. But up to that point I more than liked it, I loved it. Yet my inbuilt automatic response was always to do what I wanted despite what anyone on this earth said. The mixture of being told what to do by Brad and doing it stirred a plethora of new feelings up. For some reason I felt safer knowing that he wasn't afraid to just tell me what to do because given certain circumstances that is what needed to be done but in an even more peculiar way I liked a small amount of possessiveness in guys. I always carried within me such large wells of mental and spiritual strength that push come to shove if I did not want to do it I wouldn't - having the decision making taken away was such an aching blissful feeling. Less thought pressure in my own head and Brad well fuck he loved dealing with all of it, taking it all in his stride like it was no more than an extra breath.

Making sure I finished all of my water and omelette Brad cleaned up and returned to the couch resting his head back on my crotch.

Laughing in his half-roar I'm relaxed laugh he said in mock shock 'Jesus Armand Christ are you always hard'

I shrugged 'Have you seen yourself? Can't blame me, it you. Too hot'

Brad slowly lifted the bottom of his t-shirt up and my dick quite literally got harder immediately. He had that effect on me. Always keeping my dick hard simply by being near. Besides that ordering me around kinda helped things get going.

'You know what else was getting me hard, it could be kinky I guess maybe a little bit Fifty Shades but whatever it get me hard as?' I said leading on to tell Brad. I knew he would love it all too much and use it to his advantage at every opportunity. In fact telling him was like giving him a weapon to use over me at any time - but the results - we'll they were why I was telling him.

His turned excitedly looking me in the eye his own glowing almost red with passion and furious sexual angst 'What? Tell me?'

Casually as if this was he most normal of conversations I spoke 'It's rather difficult to explain without making it seem like I demeaning my own being in the process however I am not, I am fully aware of my value and that will not change. Nevertheless you telling me what to do, making decisions for me - controlling me to a point turns me the fuck on'

'Sweet Jesus from your own mouth. You like that I'm controlling? Most people hate that about me - and it turn you on? If you say so. Get in the fucking bedroom you sweet ass boyfriend of mine and we'll see what we can do' Brad said the last bit with his trademark masculine authority

I didn't leave immediately 'Realise this B, I like those things about you. Ultimately I will always do what I want to'

Brad laughed 'Of course you will, you wouldn't be you if you didn't. Now get the fuck in bedroom'

Smiling slyly at him I stripped before the bedroom and announced I'd just wank instead, save some time.

'You and your body are mine to do with as I please William, just lie there and wait. Oh wait, actually...' he walked into the bedroom still clothed with a red tie he used for formal rugby events '...I'm gonna put this on and you are to lie back and not move. Ok Wills? The only actions or words I want to see or hear are those I ask for otherwise just lie back and enjoy the ride'

Wondering just what I had gotten myself into in such a short period of time AND before dinner with my parents I tightened the blindfolded and rested my head back waiting in silence.

Kisses with pure love intent and gentle swirls of the tongue against my skin brought sighs and moans from my mouth and slight writhings from my body to which Brad would shake his head and say 'Still'. How the fuck he expected to stay still with the sheer delicate nature and sweet softness of his kisses all over my body building up sensations and waking up nerves everywhere until all at once my entire dick was engulfed in his mouth.

I came all at once as soon as my dick was in his mouth. He swallowed it all like his favourite milkshake and grinned fucking massive at me.

'Mother fucker, you fucked of over 200 blokes and that' Brad said so impressed with himself.

The amount of sheer torturous pleasure I had to endure until the end was almost not worth it but then it all of the sudden was. Shit.

'Hey I told you that turned me on, but I gotta say you are particularly adept at building the tension. Never ever had an explosion happen so quickly before'

Brad licked his lips 'You know it seems that despite the fact you have had quite a considerable amount of sexual liaisons in the past the Bradster has already managed to provide you with a few firsts and even in your own words the best sex I have ever had.'

'Brad it has already been proven quite evident that you are the exception to most of my umm well life actually so while profoundly enjoyable not at all unexpected'

'Does anything actually surprise you?' Brad asked still enjoying the taste of my cum in his mouth.

'Yes, I am continually surprised but my reaction to the surprise is what makes it seem I am so calm or otherwise ugh can we stop talking. I need to sleep for 45 minutes before we go to dinner with the parents'

Brad look at me disdain flickering in his eyes 'What I thought we weren't doing to that? Or were we? I dunno, it feels like we should be snuggling'

Inwardly I agreed and phoned Mum to inform that we would be over for dinner the following night. It was unfortunate they had a roast but my brother was there so it would be lively at least and he always ate enough for three. Lucky break for Brad and I.

Brad's body innately snuggled its way into and around mine ensuring as much of his skin was touching mine as possible. Our fingers linked tightly together. The warmth of Brad's breath on my neck was soothing and his - the fact it was his breath added to the safeness I felt being intertwined with his muscle.

The early shadows of night had begun their slow creep over the surrounding countryside as the last flickering golden-orange rays of sunlight clung to the distant west. Night was slowly making it way and I didn't know if either of us would be leaving the bed.

Well, and I say that word a lot, I was wrong - I barely ever say that. Brad fell asleep briefly, at first his breathing simply deep but somewhat loud then as his face proceeded to smush into my neck further the noises became adorably horrific. But brief it was as he begrudgingly with slow tender care as if I was actually asleep and made of glass untangled himself from me and walked out into the longue.

I could here the top of a Corona pop off and a satisfied sigh after what must have been the first gulp.

'B you can put the music on if you want, I'ma read the Kindle or iPad whichever is closer' I yelled out to him

'Sweet Wills, you wanna come join in?' there was definitely eagerness in his voice. How could I refuse that?

'Yup I'll just get a few chapters down, yell when you get three in the box in case I get to into it' I said

'Mint, I'll try pick some music that suit the both of us' Brad said. With You was the first song he chose. Another tick in my randomly made list of things to tick off.

I fell asleep for a short while and when I woke up Disturbed was playing which I liked but the volume was so loud it was a surprise the windows were intact.

I stepped out into the lounge to see Brad absolutely wasted. Apparently I had been asleep long enough for him to consume the entire box. This muscle mammoth of a man was dancing in his undies raging out and upon laying his eyes upon me it was as though electricity surged through the floor and into the very fibres of his body.

'Babe COME DANCE' his entire too gorgeous to be allowed face was bursting with a smile just for me eyes locked on mine. I had no chance to really begin dancing as this beautiful beast of a man picked me up off the ground in the way he enjoyed so much, newly-wed style, and danced us both around the room kissing big sloppy drunk kisses all over my face. All I could smell was beer and all I could feel was Brad's arms holding me like he most precious thing in his life.

I ignored the fact that he was drinking the rest of the tequila out of the bottle but hey, he was pissed enough the flaming poison probably tasted like candy floss. He finished the bottle while still passionately holding me in his arms but after another ten minutes gravity had other plans for Bradley and myself.

'B can you carry me to the bed' I asked softly kissing his neck and nuzzling my head there in the process.

As expected by the time he managed to get us both to the bed he simply dropped on top of it including myself. He was smashed beyond the point that I should have let him get but I guess swaying in the defined arms of the man you love to music you adore is remarkably addictive.

With ease I slid out from underneath him and one limb at a time then with a shove the torso and head turned him onto back then tilted his head with a sofa pillow in case he spewed.

Alas my man who cares for me in every way, who is so in control now lies before me sloshed and unconscious.

I switched the light off and got some Nuromol from the bedside table with a bottle of water and managed to get the down. I turn to leave the room to lock the house, shut the curtains, switch the TV and other appliances off including the lights and return to bed with my heavily drunken boyfriend when I feel a hand on mine.

'Wills-ia-m pl-ea-se bb-ab-e pl-ea-s-e st-ayy-y. Ddo-n't leave meee-e' his voice pleading agony. Don't leave me stirring from somewhere deep the need in his voice was palpable.

'I'm not going anywhere, just taking ma pills then in bed B. I won't be leaving the room; you can see me the whole time. Ok?' I said kissing his hand. Brad didn't close his eyes worried as they were swirling with drunken emotion they followed me around to my dresser where I took my pills.

Looking at myself in the mirror always made me smile. Mostly because I would smile at myself then smile at my smiling self. My eyes were deep swirly blue and my face far more youthful than I liked even with stubble. Always a warm mischievous smile. I loved my appearance and I loved it even more so because of how deeply I used to hate it.

It seemed Brad was asleep because he was no longer hawk-watching me, his sweet eyes were closed but beneath the music I could hear him mumbling drunken ramblings. Immediately my svelte frame in three graceful movements switched everything in the lounge off at the power point including lights so Brad's ramblings were now centre stage as I fall into bed beside him.

Automatically he pulls his little spoon into himself arms and legs then finding my hands to intertwine our fingers. Brad with his warm breath periodically breezing against the nape of my neck fell back to sleep for a little while but whatever aches lay inside that mind started whispering its way out of his mouth.

He said he wouldn't leave

He said he wouldn't leave

Mum, Mum, Mum

He said he wouldn't leave

Why would he say that Mum?

You left

Mum what did I do

Sweet Psychiatrist dream moment, so that is a piece if subconscious information that would face a deep onslaught of thought and consideration at a later date. I knew Brad's mother committed suicide and it seemed somehow if the he was me then a deeper fear of me leaving him the same way might lie somewhere in that head of his. However I talked about some seriously fucked up shit in my sleep so you know, each to their own. I would just remember this.

Suddenly. As in shake-a-cracka-outta-his-drug-induced-sleep suddenly Brad was staring into my eyes. Quite a bit sobered up.

He kissed me like I was about to pass away and to be honest the amount of sheer love I could feel pulsing through his lips if I was about to pass away a kiss like that from that bloke would likely save me. Anyway - I digress.

'Please don't leave me' he said

Quizzically I looked back 'I don't plan on it'

Brad kinda chuckled shyly 'It's hard for me because I don't want you to ever leave my side and I know that is not possible. It's something I have to deal with. It's just I can't personally ensure you are safe if you are away from me. And you know, if you - well if anything bad happened to you. Fuck, it's hard to even think about it'

'Bradley' I stared directly down into the depth of his eyes 'I will not abandon, leave, desert or ditch you in any way unless it is what you ask of me. Even then I will have you psychiatrically analysed to check you are of sound mind'

Unable to hold my eyes with his Brad looked past my head to the roof 'I'm sorry Wills ha fuck man that would have sounded desperate as. I dunno. Maybe if I explain it some more. I was a 25 precenter Wills, only really engaging with and getting the most of quarter of my life. I milked that 25-precent for all it was ever worth. I read all the time, I survived in the bush, I work in a job that reminds me I'm alive every second I'm in it because of it's sheer physicality. You Wills you aren't just my shining radiating 75 precent you're, you're the sun and it's like I'm caught in your orbit burning 1000s of times brighter than I ever was or knew how to be. You see, if you go. If you leave me I don't want a life without you in it. You're the fuel for my soul and if you left I'd fade away faster the colours on a turned off TV screen'

Realising Brad really did have some deep seated issues regarding the death of his mother I decided to make a point to reinforce to my own Abercrombie in overalls that I wasn't going anywhere, ever. And that I loved, was IN love with him.

'Plus Will Jesus fucking Christ sometimes I just look at you and think, How Long? Why Me? Why did he pick me? I remember sounding so cocky on the boat that you would fall in love with me but I was scared shitless bro I was bluffing that whole part'

I frowned in the evening darkness 'Sit up, just do it don't question - and look into my eyes. Let the blue of my eyes swirl every listening fibre of your body onto my voice'. He was taken in moments; the sparkling deep lapis lazuli eyes I was gifted with often took people.

'Plato wrote that in the beginning God created humans basically as two people joined together - two heads, two hearts and so forth. But as time passed God grew tired of mankind's ill-fated behaviour and severed every human in half therefore dividing everyone into the two parts of their initial whole self. It is said that our soul mate, the one we seek to fill those voids we have is in fact the other half of our original selves both halves continually trying to find each other. Through time the memories are kept until the day the two souls are united again. There is a Nepalese tradition that at birth every soul would meet it's life companion and from then on those babies would remain together with all parents raising the children. Twin Souls they were called. However the gods became jealous of the happiness and split all the twin souls up from birth leaving them to journey to each other for their lives. We have found each other my other head, my twin soul. You will not be leaving me and I won't be leaving you. Because I love you, you are worth staying around for. I don't divide my live by percentage I compare thought times and baby since you the balance has shifted so far in the positive direction'

Brad's eye's were half closed he was swelling with jubilation but still something held him

'What about the sex?' he whispered painfully

'What, do you want to make it less than the hottest sex I've ever had in my life?' I replied with as much get the fuck out of your funk PEP as possible.

Finally he laughed 'Yeah well so far so fucking amazing huh? I think we should re list our deal breakers and be completely honest with each other, even if they aren't complete deal breakers just things that piss us the fuck off about each other so we know. God know I know what makes you happy even the little BIG things that you would never so much as whisper lest someone actually hear it. I know Wills.'

'I know you do, part of your perfection. Hmm well I want to fuck so let us complete this list thing with haste. My deal breakers as in break up no questions asked are as follows: cheating, grand lies, injuring non-pest animals, smoking Methamphetamine. Things that piss me off: I know it sounds Cliché but so far you unlike any human who I choose to encounter have not pissed me off advertently however I imagine you will do so and likewise. It's part of being together. But yeah, my Buddhism really takes away my reaction to anything you do that may piss me of or upset me in anyway anyway. I just remain calm and can explain how I feel to you without raging. Yet the deal breakers remain and will likely expand as I think on them'

Brad just contemplated what I said for a little while, not too long. It was nothing new.

'My deal breakers might be a deal breaker for you Wills' he said looking at me anxiously '...obviously cheating and lying. But the following are more things I would ask that you do both because I care about you and because well, I'm a jealous control freak and if I don't talk to you about it now it'll show itself in the worst way at worst time and likely ruin the best thing that has ever happened to ne. You.'

I waited in his pause almost imprisoned in it. Waiting for him to gather his thoughts enough to continue.

He switched the bedroom light on with the remote and sat up so we were both looking at each directly in the eyes.

'William you are in perfect physical health other than bein epileptic though that is well under control. It's just your mental illness and the three handfuls of psychiatric meds that you have to take along with their side effects every day. And those side effects do affect the fuck out of you. Your intelligence is so epic Wills; you are so god damn smart that at times you are the ruin of yourself. Your generosity and kindness is limitless but in the process of helping everyone else you miss helpin yourself. Maybe you don't see it but when those meds kick in for a couple of hours your eyes glaze over and you really have no idea what is going on. The rest of time you work to hard helping everyone else that you wreck your body and your mind.' Brad paused for a few seconds 'I think maybe I'm 25 shades of grey. Because I like control, control of you and the people around me - it's something I have admired ad learnt from you babe your ability to effortlessly control people. I don't think of you as an object you are far to ethereal and intelligent for that but I consider you mine and wish for all people to be aware of that. I guess the other 25 Shades is the Extreme Kink and Punishment and Submissive stuff. You are far too much a wonder and miracle of life to be thought anything less let alone be treated so. I am possessive which you haven't really seen because we haven't been around others - you know what I mean anyway. I know I can't control you as much as I would like but the reasons that really drive me to want to in the first place is you health. Sometimes you really do need to be told what to do. You know it too.'

I regarded the bloke for a few moments taking in the facial expression left on his gorgeous asymmetrical face with softly red cheeks and just tanned skin like golden syrup.

'If I'm honest with you Brad despite the fact that yes I am stubbornly independent, that much is obvious, I fucking love you taking care of me. You don't need to justify it even though you do make some valid points. I like it, you like - so do it. And I know you're jealous, I like that too. Fuck B even back when we were kid you would get jealous if a new guy our age came up to the hut. You would always be Wills let go or Wills he has tuberculosis because you hated me hanging out with anyone else and you knew I hated the fact that they'd stopped vaccinating for TB and was terrified I'd die from it so would always ditch them. So don't go changing that part of yourself. I guess maybe that it why we are so well for each other I quite like your flaws - you know flaws to one person aren't always flaws to another person'

'...how the fuck did you become sober so quickly by the way?'

Brad chuckled I think a little too much at me 'William, I guess you could say that I have certain tolerance to liquor. Besides you forced me as I hazily recall to consume water and pain relief before I fell asleep for a while. And I am not sober completely, I mean I'm still drunk enough for you to have your way with me'

I rolled my eyes 'Sorry babe, I don't do drunk people'

Hurt flickered in his eyes only for a moment 'Why?' he asked inching his shirt off. My ability to resist was about to become non-existent once those abs revealed themselves.

I shut my eyes which made Brad chuckle even more 'You like the body. Come it will be fun, besides I ain't drunk I am mildly pissed. You can take control do what you want'

'Bradley Taylor if you think I am going to engage myself in all the damn sexual effort at this hour then you may as well have a wank. If You want to get up to sexual activities then You can move that sweet ass and those fucking glorious abs over here and begin by kissing ma lips baby' I said in one sweet linguistic sling of words.

The bed moved instantaneously and Brad was on top on me completely all of his weight resting on my body and the bed. Yes, still a wee bit drunk but enough to actually make him clumsy in a cute way.

'You want kissing huh my sweet little cosmic genius? So be it. I aspire to please Mr Oliver' Brad breathed each word between kisses. Sweet Jesus if my physical sensory system wasn't so jacked up on his kisses, which began to spread over my entire body, then the smell of tequila itself emanating from his mouth would have me drunk. But alas it was the kisses I was drunk on and I couldn't control myself. I was writhing around as he moved himself up sitting on his knees/my legs so he could kiss my lower chest.

'Do I really have to hold you down while I do this you spastic wood nymph, I'm hardly gonna be able to keep it up with you all of the place?'

While the idea of Brad holding me down had a certain appeal I could not be bothered with it. I would have to prove that he couldn't keep me that way by employing one of the several martial arts I had mastered over my years of life. It was the way I had made myself, a person who proved their dominance in all situations either subtly or more obviously depending on the situation. The ironic thing was that I needed - shall we say, taking care of, more than I ever allowed myself. My friends and especially my family were all too aware of the effects of my medication on my ability to make decisions and function but they were also keenly aware of my abilities in almost every aspect of life giving the ability to at least cope by myself. Brad, well I was relieved that he had a controlling possessive jealous streak in him. I wanted but needed those things in a partner. The trick would be giving enough of it over while remaining myself and under my own free will for the most part. No matter how sick I might be, no man would ever control me to the point of being able to simply tell me what to do. I laugh at that idea.

The fever of his kisses subsided as he slipped back into the warm comfort of sleep. Body still firmly planted on top on mine and lips resting on my neck the alcohol had taken all of his stamina for the night. I pondered whether I would tell him of this - no, I would keep it as a tease should he ever decide to tease me.

Unfortunately the one side effect of being solid muscle was massive weight and it was becoming impossible to breath with Brad's body strewn on top of me pressing down heavily. Again as I was so adept at doing I shimmy-shuffled out from underneath him and curled up next to him.

'You cannot escape me' he whispered from his sleep pulling me into a hug so tight my breathing was almost as restricted as before. Yet the rhythmic beating of his heart and the tight interwoven-ness of his arms, legs and fingers with mine not to mention his entire ripped from heaven chest pressing against my back made it all so intoxicating I was asleep in moments.

Chapter Four II

We had, I correct myself, Brad had little to do after the move. I took the week off and helped him but really he did as much as he possibly could almost racing me so that I didn't have to do anything. I figured Leave the man, if he wants to do it he can.

Brad's pace meant that in two days he had moved in and he as well as I had the entire week off. Small town living comes with its own set of wonders and familiar soul embracing proponents yet for two blokes freshly in the throws of love and passion we wanted something more to fill our days. Adventure.

I was a monumental seeker of adventure and liver of life and in my quiet solitude before Brad came roaring into my life I had assumed no man I would meet could possible hope to match that. Yet Brad, he almost exceeded it in his boyish jubilant energy. He coaxed more of my life-loving adventure-taking nature-dancing spirit out of me with his cosmically electric smile and ceaselessly enthusiastic attitude to most anything.

This was beyond amazing because the good gospel Lord knows some days I would be trapped on the couch in a haze of medicated sedation and whenever Brad so much as saw the tapestry of my eyes begin to swing that way he would pump so much energy from his soul into mine the process felt like defibrillation. But I would be up and about with him whether or not I actually enjoyed the task I enjoyed being active with him. Passing him tools for his car - which at first surprised him because I was fluent in tool names and uses.

I digress. We had five free days and little else other than fucking to do. I was all for fucking - all for it. Yet we could and would be fucking anyway. Free time together would soon be a rarity so I wanted to have an adventure. Make some memories and get up to crazy shit. Laugh in a terrifying manner together.

Stop mid graceful step I realised what must be done and then chuckled because I actually thought it that way in my head and shit like that made me laugh. What must be done. Fuck, it sounds like some ominous line from a Terry Goodkind novel. We must go bush I realised. Go up the swamp, we had five days and duck shooting was over so the place will have filtered out of most swamp folk. People really only went up there during duck season anyway but that just meant no idiots turning up to disrupt Brad and I in our privacy.

He would be so happy about the idea that he would want to leave immediately and forget to pack half his bag in the process. Hence I packed both our bags systematically taking into account every situation we might encounter while Brad half snored half gasped in his undies asleep on the couch. I could hardly blame the bloke after all he did insist on quite literally doing all of the manual labour of the move. He announced he was sleeping in his undies so that even though I couldn't talk to him I would have something good to look at. It happened that I had a cast iron pan in my hand when he said it and the look in me eyes was response enough. He quickly shut up and closed his eyes.

Brad woke while I was debating with my dog just how deaf she possibly was or was not. He strolled outside still in his trunks and messy hair squinting at me trying to get used to the brightness of the sun light.

'She's hardly deaf if she can hear the food container opening from your parents house Will. Besides after living and listening to you for so many years I don't blame the girl for tuning out' Brad said as he with all the ease of someone not of this earth lifted me off the ground and into his arms like an awake sleeping child kissing only my lips so softly but with so much love that I stopped breathing so caught up in it.

'Breathing is important' he said smirking

I scowled. How the mother fuck dare he take my breath away then mock me. Vengeance.

Pip was sauntering around looking for food. Fucking Labradors and their never ending hunt for food. Ceaseless.

'Wait, you plan on spending you're life with me if you dare tune the fuck out while I blah on I'll get that fucking pan and give you a legitimate physical reason for not being able to hear' I hurled the words out of my mouth with a bitter chill.

Brad being Brad knew far better than to test me further rather he chose to take my breath away again. So adept at the minutiae of loving his arms and lips and musky man smell all wrapped my senses up until I was senseless.

I let myself become lost in him but knew that in this game two players were at play. And my turn would soon come.

With my free arm I gently but with a swift soft force grabbed the shaft of his cock through his trunks, which was hard as expected and oh so fucking tenderly tickled just under the tip. His breath caught for a second then released with a sigh of pleasure face falling into my neck.

I stopped suddenly leaving his cock harder yearning for the sensations that just coursed through it.

'Breathing is important you know' I said smirking so much it was more a ruthless grin of world domination.

Brad chuckled 'Point well made Oliver. Now if you'd enlighten me as to exactly where we are traveling to we can maybe see to this um...' his sharp green eyes flicked downward then back up to meet mine with a wicked twinkle '...ever growing problem you have so tactfully created in my trunks'

Despite the fact he was hard the moment his lips touched mine if not sooner and that I simply enticed him in the most tantalising way possible I accepted the fact that indeed my existence was the cause of his arousal.

'I figured that with you being Mr Adventure and me being Mr Moment we'd get bored here before we go back to work. You spark my bonfire babe. So the swamp seemed like the best place to go. Season is done so we should have the entire wilderness to ourselves. Much adventure my man'

Brad's eyes instantly became luminous with excitement and his smile crackling with electricity 'YES! NOW!'

Carrying me inside albeit rapidly yet still like I was extremely valuable and easily breakable Brad tugged on an old work shirt and cut off jeans. One leg was slightly longer. Obviously a hand made job and still muddy, swamp shorts. One can always tell swamp mud as it has a silty greyish silver hue to it. Brad was so excited that he was dressing for the swamp in his swamp clothes and by god he had not washed them since the last time. I had missed them in my packing and I was happy about it because the smell despite its funky nature matched Brad and his current look well. By GOD the smell the musk it was driving me in-fucking-sane. Even more nuts than I am usually. This bloke had a fucking extreme effect on me. Mother fucker. I shook my head to get my senses back. I don't know what it was, usually I was in control of such things, yet Brad he had a way of casting a spell over me. And I had not a single problem with it.

With Brad's boyish excitement sweeping through the house like a wild wind catching everything in its way we both found ourselves in his Ute on the way to the swamp. Dog in the back with her face in the wind and boat hooked on the tow bar the journey had begun.

The early afternoon sun reflected of Brad's Oakleys as I watched him out of the corner of my eye. Even in swamp attire that bloke looked fine as all hell. I believed not in big brand sunnies, I mean they all did the same thing. Though they suited Brad almost too much I was happy with my massive twenty-dollar neon green pair.

'You could stop traffic with those things' Brad said about five minutes into the drive.

I lowered them so the blue depths of my eyes could swirl before him 'I stop traffic on a regular basis without sunglasses Bradley. Sometimes because of a cape other times because I am screaming in Finnish or sipping tea in the middle of the road'

I laughed as I recounted my memories, always finding myself hilarious. Brad tilted his head and mouthed silently 'A cape?'

I nodded 'Well of course you dick. I am overlord some days'

That made him laugh-cackle-choke 'Oh real, just some days? You're losing your touch Will. I would have thought it would be everyday'

I feigned a deep sigh shaking my head in mock anguish 'Babe being overlord takes it out of a guy. The responsibility. Sometimes I just want to write things and throw pans'

'What is it with you and pan related violence?' he asked attempted to keep a straight face.

Shrugging I said 'I like the idea of a pan thwacking solidly against someone and the noise of the contact. Like no you will not do that PAN TO THE FACE'

Brad choked and swerved slightly 'I must keep that in mind when you are around pans. Knowing you you would throw at in my direction intending to miss but strike me in the face' 'Yes, you are correct. That is a real danger' I said. Brad just carried on his roar laughing. Finding it funny for the same syntactic reasons I did.

The song We Laugh We Dance We Cry came on and realised my inner musician and screamed out every word bucking around wildly.

'AND WE LAUGH AND WE DANCE AND WE CRY AND WE DO WHAT WE CAN TO GET BY OOO WAA OOOO WAAAAA' I hollered while convulsing in my seat to the beat.

Brad turned the music up and joined in singing with me all the dance he could really safely do was head thumping so he was driving away thumping his up and down raging out with me. We pulled up at an intersection garnering ourselves multiple looks from fellow road users but give zero fucks because we weren't the kind of people to give a fuck in the first place but also the moment was so charged I don't think getting pulled over by a cop would have stopped us.

As you know from the beginning of this entire journey going up the swamp required a certain degree of physical moving in. We'd stopped at the super market on the way to collect ice and food to last the stay and all of it including our packs and the dog would need to be heaved into the boat then once at the hut up onto the jetty and finally into the hut. As you can imagine despite the fact that the hut was mine, well my families, Brad still insisted on doing everything bar carrying Pip. My dog my responsibility and there was no way he wanted to have to face my wrath if he happened to hurt her in the process. So I lifted her into the boat and Brad transferred everything else effortlessly feeding on the physicality of it. Pip was profoundly interested in the food.

'Pip! You crazy black Bitch NO' I yelled at her. Understanding only Pip and NO she stopped immediately and looked at me meekly sitting down.

Brad backed the boat down the jetty into the river after which I unhooked it from the trailer and pushed it out into the water. Even though my little black girl had been through this process enough times to be at peace she still looked at me like I was deserting her to the river. Keeping hold of the rope and pulling the boat up to the edge of the river Brad drove his Ute up locking it and came down to meet me.

'Smooth Wills, you still got the touch that is for sure' Brad was impressed. I think it was enough to remember the swamp which in one huge blast I had the last time I was here but to actually still with ease be able to carry out the tasks involved with being at the swamp was something different.

'The amount of times I've done it I guess when it's right in front of me it's like I never stopped' I mused aloud.

Brad pulled me into a kiss. No tongue just lips against lips and lips against skin.

'This idea was fucking legit babe. Now lets get up there' The boat ride was more humorous than expected. Pip kept trying to stand up with her paws on the rim of the boat and every bend in the river caused her to almost take a dive in the river. So being the over protective dog dad that I was I kept leaping to her rescue which caused a huge amount of amusement to Brad.

'Babe despite the fact you have the grace of the most nimble Rivendell Elf I think you should just hold her or she'll end up in the drink' Brad shouted above the outboard.

I grinned at him and reached over for Pip pulling her into the safety of my arms. God forbid she actually did fall in the river, which would be an adventure. More than adept at swimming she would be fine but me being far to over protective I would dive in directly after her gumboots and all then Brad being as over protective of me as I was of Pip would dive in after me leaving the boat to motor itself.

Brad circled up to the jetty outside the walkway up to the hut and nosed the boat up to it so I could climb the rope up the ladder and tie it off. With that task completed I momentarily got back in the boat to collect my Bitch, the tide was at it's lowest point so there was no way other than my telekinetic powers finally coming in that she was getting up onto land. She ran around sniffing and pissing in random places vanishing like the black shadow she was.

Brad was throwing the gear up onto the jetty, I discovered this because my pack hit me directly in the face and I fell in the river. It was a rather quick smack-bang-cracka-in-the-river process but my bag was so heavy and Brad had a lift chuck routine going that didn't involve looking. The looking part certainly changed when I splashed into the river next to the boat.

I peacefully swam back to the jetty and climbed back up looking down at Brad who was absolutely fucking horrified standing motionless in the centre of the boat a sack of ice in his arms half chuck. Eyes wide waiting for my response.

'Bradley I really did not plan on going for a fucking swim so soon fully clothed, I think its only fair that you are as wet as I am' I said with sly flicker in my eyes daring him to do it.

Smiling with his lips and loving me with his eyes he dropped the ice and dove into the river. Literally, just dove in.

'WOOO! SHIT! FUCK JESS THIS WAKES YOU UP' he swam around for a bit before I took my boots off and dove back in wrestling with him in the water. Pip watched us from the jetty half jealous she wasn't in on the fun and half judging our antics. So there we were in the river beside a boat pack full of good play fighting in the water like two kids dunking and splashing each other until finally Brad dragged me out and carried me up the ladder ordering me to sit a fair distance from the jetty while he threw the rest of the gear up.

I couldn't be bothered fighting him on it so lay back in the grass under one of the now enormous oaks that I had planted as a sapling with Brad and Sam when we were young. Wandering threads of lights filtered through the leaves piercing my vision but my imagination had taken me to such a far away place that I noticed only their warmth on my skin. Falling asleep I awoke to Pip's sleeping head on my chest and Brad sitting cross-legged next to me, watching with those loved up eyes.

'We're moved in babe, you were asleep for about three hours. Pip came to keep you warm. I came to make sure your OK and watch you sleep. I could watch you sleep until I drew my last breath and be the happiest man I could be but seeing you asleep lying back in this tall thick grass with the thin beams of sunlight radiating off your face underneath this beautiful tree that I remember planting with you and your bro is next level. I was hypnotized. I didn't even realize it had been this long until you opened your eyes' Brad said lying down beside me now, resting head on my chest sharing it with Pip.

'Fucken Jesus, your dog has been eating something rotten as' Brad said nuzzling my neck making a more favourable sound '...mmm that's better. Jesse smell, it's so amazingly sweet that if you don't have a solid grip on reality it can blow your fucking mind. I know cause sometimes I smell you and I have to fucken gather myself.' Brad said taking in another long slow breath kissing my neck gently as he exhaled.

'Pip does loves things rotten' I observed as I played with Brad's hair. It was somewhat damp from the hauling of all the gear up the stairs into the hut, it was quite a mission walk from the jetty and he did it all himself. He smelt of himself musky and sweaty no body spray just Brad. Fuck. I was bonkers for that smell.

'What about your smell, like now the musky manly sweaty smell. It's fucking perfection and BY GOD BRADLEY if it were not for my deep level of self control I would all over you right this fucking moment you uncomfortable attractive in so many ways bloke of mine. I mean Jesus, I know what it means scientifically but it doesn't make any easier to stay under control around you when your smelling all manly and Brad like' I said

I could feel his beautiful cheeks heat up against the skin of my neck, as we remained lying underneath the oak tree. Pip had nuzzled her head into my lower belly falling back asleep.

'What does it mean scientifically?' he asked quietly

I loved how he wanted to know and learn. Fuck I was in love with this guy. More than I ever thought I could be.

'Well, it works almost the same way as pheromones. Not exactly but I assume you know what pheromones are so it's an easy analogy to make so can understand the latter part. It's been shown that in true mates they are attracted to the fundamental smell of their partner. You see my scent could be and often is too sickly sweet for most people, it might be nice but not an attractive scent on a biological level because their body has it's own chemical make up for which it needs certain things that my scent doesn't provide. The way you smell, the scent that you produce naturally has a physiological affect on me meaning not only emotional and spiritually but also physiologically I am attracted to you. They did a study on it. As in our days of evolving we never had perfumes and such, it was humans smelling like humans and frequently we would find ourselves attracted to people not only because of all the usual qualities but because of the natural scent particular to each human. It has something to do with the immune system also I think and it's health'

Brad was silent 'So we really really are fully meant for each other. Cheers to the creators for making it that way cause fuck it Wills, you're my heroin. Dunno what I'd do without you. Sounds weird to say after being without you for so long but it is like what we have is such a powerful amazing force of nature that maybe it took all those years for us to be ready enough to actually be able to have this. You know? We have the rest of our lives to feel this happy. I'm looking forward to everything with you William Oliver. The good and especially the bad because the more shit we go through the stronger we will be.'

I coughed a while in my head to recover from the fact that this beautiful human had just said such a beautiful thing and continued looking up through the orange leaves of the oak. Pip was snoring and Brad had fallen to sleep face nestled in my neck, what an epic photo that would have been yet I couldn't move my limps without waking one or both of them so instead loosed my mind back into imagination and I was God again healing humanity. The world was safe in my mind. Which of the two animals asleep on my chest would wake first I had no idea, likely my man as he never slept that long and would be keen for an adventure whereas Pip on the other hand was very well practiced at day long sleeping.

I was correct. Brad did wake first however he did sleep longer than I expected. His breathing now a match to my own I could tell he was awake because he was slowly outlining my chest muscles with his fingers. I couldn't see what happening, I couldn't even see Brad's face I was simply awash in the sensations of his fingers against my body and the heat of his breath that could be felt even through my t-shirt.

He knew I couldn't move lest I wake my Bitch so in silence we remained. With Brad tracing my slender muscles with his fingers while I surrendered to the surroundings and sensations.

Pip was snoring like she might be about to take her last breath but that was typical of her, to snore like the roar of bear even with her eyes open. It would seem both members of this little party were taking solace in the calm of my body.

'That's the first proper nap I have been able to have since...since. I can't remember. I have never been able to go to sleep like that unless it's night or I'm high. I dunno what it is about your body but when my head is resting on it its like' he stopped to think '...it's hard to explain. You just make me calm, I feel like I'm wrapped up in your soul and it's so peaceful and I drift off to sleep and even the sleep is different. It's a glide down in a content restful place. I know I'm the big spoon that is how it is. I am. But sometimes I think I might just lie like we are now and sleep'

'Sweet as babe, you're welcome to lie on me whenever you like for how ever long you like. My body is yours' I said

A flicker of deep unbridled passion flew through Brad's eyes at my mention of my body being his. Almost primal in his tasting of my skin he licked and kissed every millimetre of my body until I was screaming for release. This boy had an insane thirst for me and lavished as much of me he possibly could.

'Maybe I'll just fall asleep on you every night then. You'll still be the little spoon, I'll still be hugging you but my head can rest on your chest....' Brad's eyes churned at me in all of their sparkling magnificence ''...is that OK?'

Inwardly I chuckled softly. Of course it was OK. It was insanely OK. Everything about it was OK. Brad wrapping me up in his arms head nuzzled in my neck moving forward to fall asleep. In that exact way I was protected and able to tenderly take care of Brad in return. As he slept head on my chest arms tightly entangled around my body I tenderly stroked his moist hair kissing his head.

'Babe you can sleep wherever you like. But here is just right' I whispered to my sleeping stud. Unhearing he groaned and held me tighter into himself, so tight that I could barely breathe. Speaking in his sleep he asked again for his mother, begging for her help.

Maa Maa Muuum I found him Mum After all this time I found him

Yeah Mum, he's the same Mum Maaaa

'Brad, wake UP!' I screamed at him through the thick blackness of night. Having no bedside lamp it was iPhone to the rescue. Brad shielded his eyes from the LED light emanating from my iPhone. His eyes looked up at me squinting;

'What!' he hissed

'Babe you were having some talk out loud nightmare about your mother and whom I assume is me' I offered softly and casually trying to keep it peaceful.

He shut his eyes again and kept them closed tighter than usual. Brad obviously remembered what he had dreamt about and knew I was aware of it as well given his talking during sleep.

'Just say it. Or something Wills. I know I was talking in my sleep just give me your analysis and let it be over' Brad said quickly

'You said you had found him, that you had finally found him. You were reassuring your Mother that you had found him and whether than him is me or not is answerable only by you'

Brad's eyes were wide and hollow 'Yup that was it Wills. Mum she was so worried about whether I had found you or not. So concerned because she knew even from where she is how important you are to my happiness hence the dream'

'Your mother never knew me though B. Why would you dream of her wish for you to find me' I asked trying to be rational.

Brad looked at me deeply. 'The only explanation I have is that she killed herself because she couldn't live with the pain of her life yet in the next state of her existence she knows the only way I am going to be happy and content in my own life is with you. She knew you for a brief portion of her life Wills and how valuable you were to me even back then that despite her suicide she said that you were meant for me. She had no idea of how things would turn out but she knew'

'Wise woman' I replied to Brad's emotionally thoughtful and poignant statement.

'Ahh. William. You know that wasn't actually a nightmare, for the first time since Mum died I haven't actually dreamed about her. And I mean dreamed. Yeah I have slept and she has been there but always a nightmare always me screaming for her and she would just fade away. But just now it was like the weirdest setting but so awesome Will. We were at the Air New Zealand first class transit lounge sitting at the bar talking, sometimes she would fade away but this time I could call her back. And she was so happy that I'd found you again that from where she was she could feel the change in me' Brad said. His voice was thoughtful while still deep pondering his own words as he spoke.

Then he started chuckling to himself '...yeah Bradley cause you really wanna be retelling dreams like that to your shrink boyfriend'

I started laughing with him. It was pretty funny just the way he said like Yeah Bradley... Simultaneous laughing at very particular things was something we did extraordinarily well. Linguistic humour and word play was something that I had previously thought only myself and one good mate shared but Brad was on point. It was all about the denotation, the inflections. I would call something rotund and he would be in hysterics simply because who the fuck says rotund.

'It's a funny fear my loved ones have. That I am always analysing them, picking apart each and every utterance, movement and behaviour in general. Truth is I can't be fucked, I am about enjoy the company of my friends and family not solidifying a thesis worth of notes on each. Besides, should an event occur whereas my skills are required I have and will happily provide them'

Brad sat up slowly sitting in the grass cross-legged next to me. We were still outside under the oak. Night had not come yet and my bitch was still in the throws of her snoring sleep.

Brad's smile had a secret story of it's own 'You look pretty heavenly lying back in that grass with the sunlight lighting up your face Wills. And you know it wouldn't matter to me if you did dissect my dream Freudian style but ya know, I know you wont. You know automatically the significance of certain details, your brain works so fast you analysed it as I told it to you without meaning to and it only if you sat down to think about it that you would start drawing deeper conclusions that don't need to be drawn. Cause really it was just a dream and outside of this real life dream...' he said waving his arms wizard style at me and all around at the willows and river '...it is the best dream I've had. Just Mum and I. Dad always said she was a first class lady, maybe that's why we were in the first class transit lounge. And that was always her passion to travel. She yearned for it.'

Catching his breath Brad looked away from my lapis lazuli eyes that caught everything spoken and unspoken '...I used to think that she killed herself when I was born because having a child meant she couldn't travel or be the free spirit she was. But she. Well she didn't just go and do it straight away you know, you tried her best for 4 years and went wherever you go when you die. God hopefully she's not stuck in the transit lounge. Hopefully she is travelling. She knew you Will however brief it was'

I was listening. My boy, this hulky man beast wanted to talk feelings and that was my bread and butter.

'You know how they say if you're a girl you unconsciously look for the same qualities in your boyfriend as your father possesses because he has been your main male role model your entire life. Then for a guy they say you look for the same attributes that your mother has in your girlfriend. So many of my mates you are in long term relationships exemplify this but it can be the reverse as if you have a dick head father you look for dick head boyfriends'

I nodded. I had read the research from 1971 and found it to be mostly true from experience and as with almost all psychology research from that time the controlling factors of the experiments weren't at a high standard but the qualitative information gathering techniques were quite good. I digress.

'Yeah babe I am familiar with that saying. What makes you bring it up amidst this conversation' I said casually eyes shut. I knew if I kept my eyes shut then Brad would feel far more at ease to talk about things such as this. My eyes, I don't know, maybe it was their piercing blue or the deep knowing soul behind them but they often put people off talking when directly faced with them in all their glorious churning blue depth.

'Don't take this the wrong way because it's difficult for me to say anyway OK?' Brad's voice carried a rasp to its edge.

Eyes still closed I calmly smiled and replied 'I rarely take things the wrong way, it is my nature to respond equanimously'

Almost hearing him smile and role his eyes at my Buddhist philosophy I waited for him to continue.

'I believe that is true except in this case I was never looking for a guy manlier than myself so it was never my Father's qualities that struck me in a potential partner. I always wanted a man who was a man not a guy who was so feminine it was like being with a dicked-chick and you are the former. You are William who happens to be gay. You aren't feminine nor particularly masculine, you are a magical mixture of quirky, unusual, odd and extraordinary characteristics that can only be defined by you. But your free spirit, that God Damn free spirit, it's the winds the sweep the country rustling leaves bellowing over hills and houses. It's the fire that flickers then rages warming the soul. It's the wonder that's infectious. It's the part of my mother that I see in you so much. So I guess I found the best part of my mother in you, both what others believed was the best in her and what she believed was the best in her. And it radiates out of you, scorching sweltering passion for everything. But Mum she had the darkness of the mind and so do you. I think I found in you so much of my mother. I don't mean that offensively' he added the last bit quickly.

I sat up experiencing brief orthostatic hypotension.

'I don't think there is a higher honour that could be bestowed upon me that having you say those things to me about how you see in me the best parts of your mother. To be frank, it is the highest compliment I have ever been paid. I will never forget that Bradley. I will never forget what you have said to me today'

Brad, I think he just liked touching my face because he at every opportunity would place a hand on either cheek prior to kissing me, placed a hand on either cheek and kissed my lips pressing his against mine somewhat harder than usual then traced the edge of my lips with his tongue.

'You taste like strawberry' he declared '...so do you think you see the best of your father in me given you wanted a manly guy as your partner?' The question was out of the blue. Though I knew he wouldn't have planned on asking it at the start due to the deep nature of what he was talking about Brad was always one to randomly ask and this would be something that he would love to know.

'Not exactly. Sam I look for a lot of who he is in my partners as wells as Dad. Sam he is ferociously protective at all times, reminds me to take my meds, dislikes health food. Many of the same things as you. Dad is wise, calm, sits back and watches. This is what you do. You are a mixture of the two other most important men in my life'

Brad was exceptionally happy with this appraisal and lifted me up off the ground as he stood with me and walked me into the musty smelling hut. Pip had no choice but to wake up and follow.

I hooked the gas bottle up to the cook top and placed the kettle on top;

'Beverage my man?' I asked Brad who was making a single bunt bed, my one on the bottom. It was safer I slept on the bottom bunk as I was so medicated at night if I fell of the top ones they were so high I might hit a nail on the way down on simply break my neck and die.

'Yeah boi. Oh you realise we're double bunking it, I kinda like the idea of sleeping compressed up with you' Brad said grinning more than one thing on his mind. It posed no problem for myself as that bloke spooned me so tightly on my king bed it was like sleeping in a single anyway.

'Of course we are double bunking ma big hunk of spunk, God knows you hold me tight enough when we sleep in my bed at home that sharing a single bed will be no different. Besides I have absolutely no issue with being squished up against you all night- in fact right now I could do with one of those Big B's squishy hugs' I dropped the tone of my voice to half whisper but before I even began to explain why Brad arms were lacing themselves around my body squishing me into him forcefully but with a kind of passion that was so delicate yet so fucking fiery and hot that my soul set alight.

Brad moved his mouth so he could talk into my ear and nibble it with a sweet tenderness at the same time 'Babe, I think we need t talk about you not taking your Benzos during the day. I give em to you and don't get me wrong I know they tranquilize the fuck out of you but you fake swallow them and spit them over the deck. I seen you do it all the days I've been with you.'

Incredulity spread across my face and my heart beat faster caught in my lie by the man I loved.

Sighing I sunk further into him 'Jesus fucking Christ you are one observant mother fucker' I stated

Brad chuckled into the side of my head which he had been kissing 'Just you my little bundle of cracker-nuts, you are the only one I notice. It's only you that I observe. Fuck you are all I see these days. But those pills are potent and they prescribe them to you for a reason so unless you are taken off them by your Psych then continue taking them OK?'. His tone was jovial but deadly serious, to him my medication was the foremost in what kept me from harm and there was no fucking with it. I hadn't taken into account the fact that I was indeed in a relationship now; there were more than just my own feelings to take in account now. Despite my qualifications and deep knowledge of medicines I had to take into account Brad's feelings and with what happened to his mother I understood how important it was I did each and every thing that was required of me to stay healthy in the mind.

'OK, yeah I get it B. There's more than just me in this deal now. I'll take em, I just didn't want to be tired all day and miss out on adventures with you' I said truthfully. I often changed dose time and strength to lessen side effects but when dealing with benzos one had to be extremely careful. The made me so sleepy in the day time that it was like being a calm non-human eating zombie.

'Then I'll come with you to the shrink next time you go and we can talk to him about it. I'm pretty sure with you being stable for so long now you don't need daytime benzos. Plus that way you can titrate off them properly even though I imagine you were doing that too a point anyway as you are a doctor. Anyways I ramble, we'll sort you. But for now you take your pills and don't lie to me about it. I get you want to be awake with me but I would rather sit with you all day than have you not properly medicated even if now you might be over medicated'

Ah Brad. Forward thinking and far more on to it than I would have liked at times but always for the better.

Finally releasing me from his Big B medicine hug we sat down to some crate beers and listened to The Rock.

I wasn't used to talking with Brad in that fashion. There wasn't a problem with any aspect of it, the naturalness so common to our conversations was still there it was just the subject and manner in which Brad was addressing me. It made me feel safe in this abstract yet incredibly real way. Despite the fact it likely was not it did in fact feel like our first proper adult conflict of sorts. I say /of sorts/ because there was less conflict and more me being caught in a lie and having to compromise which I never would have had to do before because there was no one but myself to answer to.

We continued to drink our beer until the both of us were quite drunk. Lithium by Evanescence happened its way on radio and we laughed at the irony.

'I would ask you to dance but maybe the next song huh?' Brad said.

My eyes answered for me. Gold now was the sky, gold pastel easing into a pink as the evening drew itself in. Brad offered his hand as Sugar by Maroon Five came on and led me through the door to the inside lounge and bunk area to the fire and entrance area out over the deck and onto the large circular area of lawn beside the hut. Directly bathed in the evenings stunning spectacle of colour and in clear earshot of the stereo. Taking the lead Brad stepped me through his interpretation of the waltz or salsa or whatever it was. It basically involved as much of his body against mine as possible in the sunset it was perfection.

After the song finished we just stood there in each other's arms looking at the trees or flax or long svelte blades of grass slipping from the earth upward to the sky making it look effortless and graceful as each blade lay about lazily in the easy breeze.

Quite suddenly Brad told me to remain where I was while he went and got something. He came back with a bulky camera that looked to be from the film - negative era.

'It's my Dad's Pentax' he said brightly '...he gave it to me for my twenty-first. They're a really good brand and I've gotten good over the years with the different lenses and shit. We should take some pictures of us up here even if we do have to wait for the film to be developed' Brad looked proud but a little shy of his camera. I thought it was awesome, the literal shutter sound that it made when a photo was taken and the turn of the film. I felt like I was at a magazine shoot.

'That's a fucking legit camera B, shall be sweet to see them developed. Oh it's exciting to think' I did a wave of my hand like I had successfully cast a spell.

'You wanna massage' Brad asked

Quite unexpected but very welcome I nodded and was carried inside and laid down on our bunk bed then straddled. Brad's thumbs started pressing in circles on either side of my spine working outwards following the tense sinews of each muscle. As his thumbs moved upwards pressing in deep circles his palms followed massaging as each hand moved upwards to my shoulders where I groaned brutally. Brad kneaded away the stress and tension then tickled all of the same muscles that were massaged with only the very tips of his fingers and excruciatingly gently. So gentle that it was a sweet agony. Proceeding to blow over my now quite sensitive skin he quickly started peppering it with kisses slowly taking longer and longer.

It was truly a sensory experience to behold. Brad had somehow keyed in on something my body had known but my mind had not. My skin liked to be sensitized, kissed, toyed and played with and Brad knew very much when, why and how when it came to my skin. He was simply the key, actually.

Our dancing and antics on the lawn as the sunset had been on reflection a lot crazier than we had thought at the time because we were reasonably drunk but to me that made it all the more glorious. To have been held in the sweeping grasses of the swamp by the man I love and swayed about to the music albeit haphazardly it was still an impeccable memory that I would not forget.

Sunset's pink pastel painting of the sky had slowly changed to the grey black that came before the quick gulp of night-time's complete darkness. It wasn't twilight hour just the time where there was only barely enough light to just see a few meters around you without your eyes having to adjust all that much, a time of night that was in flux and lasted on a small while.

We were back at the table drinking more beer listening to more music talking in depth at times and in silence at others. You see Brad and I we did talk in silence; our eyes, smiles, hands, sighs and well everything spoke even when we were not speaking.

Looking quizzically into my eyes and losing himself in the process Brad tried to remember what he was going to ask;

'I don't think I've ever seen you properly drunk' he stated as a fact and a challenge. He did insist on bringing more piss than ice so he must intend to drink it faster than the ice melted.

'Well that's because a drunk person is completely out of control and I am completely out of control anyway so it seems pointless' I replied

Shaking his head like I was the student 'No not out of control drunk just properly drunk where you enjoy all the best parts of it without being sloshed'

I was aware of alcohol and its affects on the human body especially my own and I planned on getting a tad more drunk than usual but Brad, well, if the boy wanted to school me on the effects of alcohol he was more than welcome.

'And how will I know when I get there dear boy?' I asked

'Becaaause' he said slowly kissing my hand '...I'll take care of you Will. Now can we PLEASE get on the piss and enjoy ourselves I want to dance with you maybe to a slower song then some crazy dance then get high'

He got up and changed the channel to Hits. Hits was basically the top forty regurgitated in different fashions yet in the top forty were some songs that I knew and Brad did too that would be perfect to dance to and that we could almost guarantee would play.

So I would say in a drunken state of writing about a drunken state of existing that Brad would have in all his mischievous ways talked Wills into the perfect level of drunkenness and it was I Wills thinking this as it happened so I must have been in a fairly solid state of inebriation. Brad's face was a wash of emotion, so much desire and yearning in his face and lips but his eyes just love a solid brutal force of energy not to be brought by anything. Looking into those eyes I don't think I have ever experienced such a powerful emotion pass almost in a physically tangible way between two people.

Brad wanted to dance to Take Me To Church my Hozier to which he immediately justified with 'It'll be cathartic' so up we suddenly rushed to catch as much of the song as possible.

On the left side of the long table that ran through the middle of the hut, opposite the kitchen and cook top area - where the bunks were. We danced. In a synchronicity that went beyond normal limits. 'How is it that you know where I'm movin?' Brad said breathlessly

I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked into his eyes 'Because you're the one moving me babe' I said. And he was. He was cradle-lifting me so tight that my feet were just a centimetre or two of the ground but his strength and my weight was such that he could do that without noticing.

Stay High came on. The words I gotta stay high all the time to keep off my mind swirled through the semi or considerably - at that point I couldn't tell one from the other - consciousness.

Brad didn't sit me back down in my own seat. He knew that after drinking as much as I had I would rather cuddle into him especially after the melting into his body while he floated me as best he could through the. Besides there was no guessing that he wanted me soaking into his body just as much as I wanted to be.

I think he just enjoyed the feeling of my body - up the swamp, in the hut we grew up in - against his that he couldn't really help doing everything in his power to ensure that my body was against his. Even if at this stage in the evening it was a mostly unconscious process. The unabating surge of sensation and swirling hurricane of emotion gluing us together in the chair at the head of the table. The alcohol added the guttural roar of a tiger to everything we felt shuddering through our veins reverberating through our brains. That moment in that chair was incredibly powerful, the kind of moment that even if the place had been full of people to us it would still have only been just us. We were caught up in each other's spell we were forgetting breaths and our hearts beat to the same rhythm. Connecting on a level beyond words. Beyond action. Beyond the chemistry of the brain. It was spiritual. A blending of two souls. A silent talking in a wordless language. Pure connection. I fell asleep that way so deeply connected to Brad. Mixed up in the best way with everything that he was and would become. Drifting into the darkness of sleep I felt his arms hold me tighter and his lips touch my forehead.

Chapter Four III

Having shut no curtains the previous night I awoke at sunrise as it soaked the insides of the hut with its fresh clarity. It wasn't warm yet, the ambient temperature I mean. I personally was amply warm what with my own furnace sticking to my body under too many blankets. I wrestled myself out from Brad's arms while he mumbled complaints and rolled on the floor land on all fours far more nimbly than I expected.

I decided to make bacon and eggs, as there was no Nutribullet. Alas we were in the bush such was the fucking way of things. I would have cooked steak had I the knowledge how.

Unscrewing the top to the gas bottle a few turns lettings the gas flow to the hobs I took my meds in the time between. When I eventually decided to click the hob on enough gas had leaked out to create small explosion. The cast iron fry pan, my precious weapon and culinary tool, was blown skywards and an unfortunately loud BOOOOMB echoed through the hut and surrounding bush. Several cups and empty bottles flew off the counter top and ended up floor bound smelling of burnt eyebrows. I quickly checked making sure that most of them were still there - yes, very good.

'Jesus FUCKING Christ WILLIAM OLIVER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH' Brad roared quite angrily at me as he picked me up turn the gas bottle off at the same time.

'Bacon I was baconing' I said trying to add some humour to the situation.

Brad was furious, not a single glint of humour was to be found in his eyes. His eyes were tumultuous and raging.

'Look at you you're dosed out of your mind. What made you think this was OK? For someone so incredibly smart this was fucking dumb William. It's fuel for fuck sake, what the fuck would have happened if you fell asleep or wondered off. Jesus' he ran his hands through his hair looking around at all the cookware and cutlery on the floor '...I can smell your burnt fucking hair'

He looked at me still in the throws of wild anger 'Just go outside and talk to Pip or something Will. I'll clean all this shit up'

I didn't say anything, what was there to say. It could quite easily have been far worse given the fact I medicated myself. I did ridiculous things without thinking sometimes. I should have done one or the other and it would have been fine. What if did walk off? The gas would have keep Brad asleep permanently.

No wonder he was furious. I'd never seen him that furious before. Then again I hadn't seen him in such an explosive, literally, situation before either. The point was that it was my fault yet somehow knowing Brad he would eventually turn it around to at least be partially his fault because as he would say 'I should have been watching out for you instead of sleeping' which is ridiculous as it was me not him who almost blew the place up.

'PIP' I called out into the trees only to have he nuzzle into my leg. She was my shadow, I don't actually know what possessed me to think she was out in the trees to begin with. She would never leave me nor would she ever exert that amount of effort unnecessarily.

I walked down the steps between the fronds of the imposing flax bushes that sat rooted either side. Making my way to the jetty small black shadow in tow I could see the swell of the river, it was peak tide. A spring tide in fact as the water was almost equal with the boards of the jetty itself and the boat was float peacefully next to it not beneath it as it usually did.

I figured given the fact Pip wouldn't have any banks to climb it would be a good time to let her have a swim. So I rolled my track pants up and sat on the edge of the jetting dangling my legs in the murky water throwing sticks for Pip to retrieve. She was excelling and loving not only our interaction but also the buoyancy of the water the release it gave her joints. She eventually shooks off directly beside me, as usual, then lay down and started knowing away at the stick quite over swimming out into the river and content to lie next to me chewing her 'prey'.

I always wore a watch, it was a beautiful large silver one my parents had bought me for my 21st, however when up the swamp time didn't really matter. Nothing needed doing by a certain time if it needed doing then that was all, it needed doing and would be done when one felt like doing it. Time had no power over day or night in the bush. It was a freedom difficult to describe but incredibly liberating to experience.

Thus I had no idea how long I sat swishing my feet in the river with Pip chewing her stick next to me. It was have been a while because Brad came down in his cut off jeans and sat next to me dipping his legs into the river.

We were silent. It wasn't awkward but it was salient in that we both noticed it. Brad moved his foot under the blur of the muddy water so that it touched mine then wrapped his leg around mine scooting closer.

It was unlike him to be at a loss for words but then again despite my accidental near death explosion it was unlike him to be so furious. I would likely have responded the same way if I had his nature. I wasn't angry at him at all, some part of me liked that he had enough guts to stand up to me when I did foolish things.

He rested his head on my shoulder sighing deeply aching.

'This means we're breaking up doesn't it' he said suddenly as if to him it made perfect sense yet to me it seemed the most ridiculous conclusion one could possibly come to after such an event.

'No, it doesn't B. Not at all. I would yell at me for that. Why would you think that?' I said quietly

'Because I know you don't mean to do things like that Wills and I was vicious. It's a side of me you haven't seen and I figured you'd never wanna see it again you know' his voice was so quiet the fucking river was making more noise.

'We all have flaws. You might think that you raging like that is something bad but I know where it comes from. You do to. You. Well you're just extremely protective and the shock of waking to an explosion created by and making a victim of the guy you love would make most people furious. Don't feel bad about it. I'm sorry for almost blowing us up. Truly, this is about what I did wrong not you ya dick so don't sulk' I said.

Brad held my face as tenderly as he did the first night he kissed me except this time he was sober. He looked so deeply into my eyes I felt I was being plugged into something and his lips when they touched mine it was with the softness so distinctive of Brad. It was one of the things I loved about him. His ability to love with such ferocity but kiss and touch with an agonising tenderness that was raw like I was the single most precious thing in his existence. And the way he looked at me confirmed exactly that.

'You know Will. I'm so lucky I found you again' he said. The pain in his voice drew my arms around him;

'...I guess it sounds crazy but I actually thought that rage was the end of us'

'Death is the only thing that will be the end of us. Now let this be the end of this' I said kissing his cheek '...let us enjoy our time up here and you can do the cooking OK. Or at least be in control of turning the hobs on and off' I laughed derisively at myself. Brad smiled perking up, thankfully.

I threw Pip's sick back in the river and waited until just as she dropped it back beside me before swiftly standing and stepping back so Brad got drenched by he dog-water-shake. That was the final pull he needed to get him out of his funk. He jumped backwards cursed a few times but laughed and chased me back into the hut realising it was my plan the entire time.

Aside from the fact that I had incited Brad's rage by almost blowing up my families cherished bush hut, harbourer of more than two and a half decades worth of memories, I knew that Brad hadn't been in a relationship before. This entire thing was new to him. As much as he seemed to take to it like a professional there were still bound to be things that would knock him off his game. Like today's explosion reaction for example, it's quite easy to see how he would think screaming at me like he did would scare me off.

Though I was not so new to relationships I was new to the devastating love I felt in this one. Brad was a fire in my veins that that pulsed through my body with each beat of my heart.

'Least Pip just smells like river water now and not dead body' Brad said putting the kettle on the hob that was function as normal.

'True, I'm pretty much immune to her smell' I said casually '...it's when she becomes sticky that it is problematic as she is un-pat-able'. I looked her over and petted her damp head. Lovely head.

'Its refreshing to see someone let their dog just be a dog without the floral smelling shampoos and over-grooming. I always thought that if the human race was enslaved and our enslavers kept us as pets also that like being dressed up in their non-human clothing and forced to behave in their non-human ways would suck' Brad said. The whistle of the kettle settled as he lifted it of the stovetop and poured the water into our cups. Steam flowed off the water as it flowed into the cups and continued to rise from the cups as they sat waiting to be stirred.

'It never used to be that way' I added collecting the cup from Brad's out stretched arm. It was hard not to notice how his skin depressed around the edges of even the muscles in his arms as they protruded that much. Probably a bit dehydrated but still Brad's musculature was always visible and his smooth coffee-olive coloured skin from working outside every day hugged his body tight enough to make a display of even his veins.

He looked over the top of his mug as he sipped 'Yeah, how did it used to be'

I shook my head 'It's a relatively long story. Before I was appropriately diagnosed and medicated I had this neurosis about looking after Pip to the extreme. I had a dog cookbook that I used high quality ingredients to hand make her every meal and Zip-Lock bag her future meals. I also used to wash her bedding every other day with bleach, washing powder and fabric softer. I would bake her a birthday cake every year. She would be bathed in strawberry shampoo and boysenberry conditioner weekly. I would even let Dad call her a dog because that is technically the name for a male canine and bitch is the female name so I trained my own father to her either Pip or bitch'

Brad did not seem at all surprised but was laughing away to himself 'I imagine this coincided with you not coming up the swamp. It sounds like the same kind of neurotic attitude your brother spoke of frequently. Apparently you used to be extraordinarily vicious back then. Now that is something I can't imagine'

I nodded 'I was excruciatingly vicious. I'm glad we get on so well given what I put the poor boy through. My whole family actually.'

Brad tilted his head 'Babe you don't blame yourself for that right? It's the past and you were incredibly sick'

'I blame myself for it but I don't feel guilty for the exact reason you just gave me, I was sick then. The sickest I have ever been, nobody knew what was going on. There was an un-medicated bipolar teenager flipping out in every which way' I said

'What we do today boy' Brad said swamp like.

Shrugging I thought 'Dunno, I think we should chuck the waders on and go for a walk out the back into the pond'

'Sounds legit. Pip can swim beside us. We can check out what needs spraying for next season' he said

You know how sometimes you just all of the sudden realise you're smiling like an idiot. I was experiencing one of those moments.

'What's got you smiling Wills?' Brad asked

'That fulla sitting opposite me' I said

Brad smiled back 'This fulla has been sitting here for a while and you only just got that awe-struck Wills-gone-goofy smile on your face. What did I say?'

What the fuck is this Wills-gone goofy. I will find the pan the I blew off the gas hob in the earlier explosion and strike him with it should he ever say that again.

'You. Dick head. Just the way you actually do assume a future with myself. And the fact you plan on shooting with us. You are pretty much saying your leaving your hut for this one. You have left so much for me and I really have left nothing.'

Brad just shrugged 'Well yeah, all of that is true. But you are worth it. More than worth it Wills. Do not be forgetting that shit. Nothing in existence is more important to me than you, not even myself. Which might be a tad unhealthy but I really don't give a fuck because I am in love with you and I love you. All that you are I love. You know, our love story is different to most but it's ours so who gives a fuck'

Breath taken away momentarily I was indeed surprised by the emotionality and depth of Brad's response. But then again he was prone to such spillings of feeling and emotion. I just had had to get used to the often unexpectedness of them. As when someone you love tells you while looking directly I your eyes something like that it can be, shall we say, paralysing.

Walking out to where Brad had hung our pairs of waders we squeezed into them. Well, more like Brad squeezed into his and I slipped into mine.

'Jesus Brad, you fit the like a glove a week ago. If the spirit of the child named Revlon is right then you gain muscle mass faster than the average human gains weight on a high sugar diet. There are people who would take one look at your gorgeous face and kill you for that' I said

Brad proceeded to choke on his roar laugh and fall off the deck still pulling his left wader up.

'Where...' he said between breaths '...the fuck...' inhaling again he got back up on the deck '...do you come up with that shit. Mother fucker Wills, for the unprepared gentleman it is certainly quite humours'

It was my turn to laugh. Though I maintained standing composure and my rage laugh was a maniacal cackle 'The unprepared gentleman. B that has to be one the funniest things you have ever said in my presence, especially if you are referring to yourself as the unprepared fucking gentleman. You look about ready to slay a wild boar' I said. I was going to add '...and stunning while you do it' but that would defeat the purpose of my statement.

He took a conciliatory breath 'William as you should be aware by now while my rough yet jaw dropping gorgeous exterior may look at though I lack the sensibilities to be a gentleman I am most gentlemanly.'

Ruffling my hair he added '...when it comes to you that it. Everyone else just gets the rough jaw dropping gorgeous Brad' he laughed to him self.

In that moment I think even more than all the other moments I had thought the same thing I realised. Yup. Bradley Taylor was mine for life. We happened have developed in this world in such away that our mutual and mutually exclusive life events had shaped us into the perfect suit for one another. I was glad for that mornings half-fight as a result of my gas explosion because it at least showed that despite the extraordinary suitability of us as a couple we had and would still experience disagreements and from them growth. If it were to be honey and roses the entire time not only would it be boring but also it couldn't possibly be maintained as that is an unreality. We needed to push each other. Test each other. And let those times of conflict be a reminder not only that is our relationship functioning as it should but the resolution of the conflict will teach us how to better understand each other and in turn create a stronger bond and better future. So that sermon is over, back to the chilled action.

Waders in New Zealand basically meant neoprene/plastic/watertight-material that went from the waist down shaped like pants joining into gumboots so that the entire thing when worn like pants would stop one getting wet. Obviously the gumboots were permanently and water-tightly affixed to whatever the waterproof material made the pant part. Varied by price.

'I give you that Bradley; you are most certainly a gentleman in most all aspects of dealing with me. The sweetest kind. Save for the bedroom - you have proven to be most ungentlemanly given the right incentive' I said

Brad coughed 'Yeah and it seems you always give me the right incentive'

I shrugged 'Yes, yes indeed I do'

Brad was already walking off around the back of the hut to the waterline at the willows where the trek to the pond began.

Unaware that I could here his reply he said softly to himself mostly as it sounded like an affirmation '...one day, you'll be standing in front of me and I will hear you say those last two words again'

I ran them through my head I do. Then in a manner most unbefitting of my usual graceful self I tripped over my forward stepping foot and face planted the lawn.

Brad was laughing from the willow line where he was waiting.

'So the graceful one falls' he yelled at me happily

I rolled my eyes. You'd fucking trip over if you heard that for fuck sake I thought regaining my upright composure and continuing forward. The thing was that I wasn't actually freaking out. The opposite, I was quite glee ridden at the idea Brad thought about things like that happening one day. I was a ridiculous romantic to the core. But upon initially hearing it my brain kind of stopped focusing on legs for a bit. You know. Bloke makes obscure reference to marriage guy he's dating trips over. Usual stuff.

Making it to him with my added shadow in little time the look on my face gave little confusion as what recent event would not be discussed.

The bush was free of the pulse of gas guzzling corporate world and the most prominent noise was the swishing of our legs through the water. Pip's swimming was remarkably quiet.

'Don't you just love the quiet Wills' Brad said '...it's not the kind of quiet where for it to be this quiet something must be wrong like at home. But the peaceful quite of nature that is supposed to be there'

'Yeah B...' I looked up around at the willows and although their branches swooped down around us they still towered up into the sky '...the silence of this place soaks up the roar of hell screaming inside'

'What?'

Brad continued to look at me waiting for a response.

'When things are not the best nature has a way of making it better' I said

'No, you said something considerable less Buddhist parable and more death metal lyric. Do you walk around with the roar of hell inside?' he asked incredulous.

'Sometimes. It's nothing unusual, let's not talk about it.'

Accepting that once said I would in fact not talk about it Brad continued on pushing through the green Duck Weed that had grown on top of the water.

'We'll need to spray this place pretty hard if the duck weed is out this far' he said off handedly.

He was right of course. I'd have to let Dad know so the appropriate arrangements could be made.

Brad wasn't quite finished with his train of thought '...we could shoot home grab the spray and come back, it'd only take an hour or so and we'd back and we could get it done'

Always one to get shit done Brad was at it again. Looking to me for confirmation of his idea his face happily looked over at me.

'Actually B, you are right. Usually I would prefer to relax and adapt my mind but this will help Sam and Dad and give us something to do' I said

Trudging out almost as quickly as the idea had come we all barded the boat and left for the main jetty up the river. We would tie the boat off and lift the motor taking the pin out so it was unusable. It was trusted that when boats were left at the jetty like that they were to be left alone. We were in the last generation where that rule was respected, eve so we took everything valuable off the boat and locked the trailer.

On the road home Brad placed his hand on my thigh. I had the feeling he'd wanted to do it since he had turned the ignition.

'You think you're Dad will mind me getting involved with your fulla's pond?' he asked

'Nah. Most likely the opposite B the more help he better in his eyes. He's already adopted you back into the hut in the weird way that he does - knowing shit about things unspoken and such.' I said.

His demeanour picked up after that. I can imagine Dad being intimidating the man looked terrifying. The damn gospel truth. Even the manliest of men sat first down before Dad he was just that kind of man. Strangers quite literally moved before him. Alas Brad having to face him as my partner, what a task that would be and had been in its subtle ways so far.

Chapter Four IV

Back on the way up the swamp spray gear on board and Pip's head out the back window ears flopping in the wind.

'I didn't expect your Dad to be so happy about that, he was looking at me like I was a miracle come true or something' Brad said unable to hide his boyish delight.

'That's Dad I guess. He's busy so is Sam we're helping out quite a bit' I said

Brad was incredibly pleased with himself as the entire endeavour was his idea and Dad's abundance of praise for the idea was fuel to his fire. The entire drive back he had a face splitting smile that could have dropped the heterosexual and gay populace of New Zealand.

Nobody had touched the boat, which pleased me. It showed the old unspoken laws of the swamp were still in place to some extent at least.

Brad leapt out of the Ute once parked. I do not use that term in detrition of linguistic opportunity I really do mean LEAPT out of the Ute. I was actually quite fun to watch him. It reminded me of when I used to play Sims 3 on PS3 while on the exer-cycle. I would pump out 2 hours on the bike sitting up-right playing Sims and whenever all of their needs were met and their little inspiration was also full they would become INSPIRED and quite literally the entire way the otherwise typical moving Sim moved would transform into this bounding happy jovial almost crazy happy doing random flips Sim with sparkling green diamonds of energy floating up out of them. All those hours on that bike I got far too psychologically invested in that game so took to running. I digress again. That entire point was to illustrate the similarities between a semi crazy flipping about striding around all happy Sim and Brad who had unloaded all the gear into the boat.

There wasn't actually that much in terms of different objects as Dad had the spray unit and different spray in the clip shut fish bins. They we bright yellow with the name of the fishing company that his mate worked for in which he had swindled them off.

'You're doing that thing Wills' Brad said over the boat motor

'And that thing, it would be?'

'Losing yourself inside yourself. You've been more distant as the day goes by' he slowed slightly so he didn't have to yell

'...I think I've probably spoken more complete sentences to your Dad all day than you. I can see it in your eyes. The shimmer goes away from like it's being sucked back into your head and you kinda look vacant especially compared to usual Wills. And then you go into vital word mode' Brad had now reached the hut and we were tied on so the last part of what he was saying could be said without noise from the boat's motor.

'Vital word mode?' I asked

'See you're doing it now. You're not even asking about the rest of what I said, you would usually have a fucking book worth speak about something like that but you just say the least amount possible usually a question form so I have to answer and talk' Brad held and warm loving look on his face. Not one of concern, he knew this was just my nature. I think it looked more like he just wished he could make it better but knew he couldn't accepted the fact loved me anyway and carried on.

'That is true. I haven't noticed only because it's easy to be in silence around you. I can just be my own individual self and be at peace with you. You know what'll fix it? Food and thhHHIISSS' diving into the river the temperature change made me feel for my ancestors. But it came through my conscious and unconscious mind with thunder, lightning and the roar of a God I had no intention of encountering again. Clarity came back with crisp ice cold fury and well...two perfectly defined arms encircling my waist pulling me upwards.

Inhaling my lungs full of air upon breaching the surface with Brad holding me into his chest I shook the water from head.

He laughed 'That was 90% protective instinct and 10% me just wantin to get all up on you'. Damn boy thought he was not only the hottest shit but the funniest shit. I give him the former.

'I'm definitely one for this kind of heroic gesture my man' I said, breathless for some reason. I believed the 90% protective part because he was still wearing everything. Had it been for any lesser of a reason he would taken his boots off. '

Brad his eyes were electric as usual filling my body with their ceaseless current and charge. Happily noting that I was back with the living in terms of mental clarity he kissed me soft for s split second the hard and full of breath. We sunk back beneath the water almost angry in our hunger for each other.

Brad's cock was hard against his cut-offs as we writhed in the water emerging to breath again. He had a wicked grin and I knew I'd do what ever he asked.

Swimming us back up the river to keep even with jetty and make up for the tidal drag of the water we were submerged in Brad kissed my forehead and held his lips there.

'I wanna try something?' he said parting his lips from my forehead

'Yeah, what?' I looked expectantly into his effervescent green eyes

'I want you to go under the water and breath out your air and I'll come down and you can have mine. I know air is converted to CO2 so no need for the organic chemistry lecture but..' he look incredibly shy - it was sweet - '...I just want to be able to say that I shared a breath with you in place there was none to be had. Plus in all honesty...' his voice changed to one of matter-of-fact oh-well authority '...it appeals to my kinkish side'

Fuck. I was in. I loved the idea, sharing a breath with the man I loved under the water of River of the Swamp that after the rain was amazingly fresh.

'You don't know how much I love that idea B. Let's do it' I said taking a breath and plunging downwards as low as I could go without needing to pop my ears.

Brad was not at all far behind. I let my breath out in a burst of gigantic bubbles surging upwards. Brad appeared through them giving me the shivers. He was too attractive sometimes for his own good.

Eyes open under the water connected to each other through the blur of the water he help my gaze holding me with such God Damn tenderness it fucking near made me cry. That he could be so fucking beautifully sweetly tender and gentle even under water as his breath passed into my lungs and the warmth of his gorgeous lips soaked into mine was a sublime treasure of divinity.

Bursting back into the air both of us breathing in lung fulls of fresh air and settling treading water in-front of one another Brad was talking with his body and all I could feel was a yearning in my own body for another kiss filled with his air. For some reason the delicate intimacy of it coked me up. It had me hooked that much was obvious because Brad placed a hand on of my head and gently pulled me into another kiss and as he spun me around in the water I breathed in more of his air. Warm and hot as it passed into my body.

'Fuck Bradley Taylor you...' I took a breath of fresh air '...are fucking too much to handle sometimes. You surpass even the most farfetched ideals of romance I have imagined in my life. I honestly, honestly did not think any human could do that.'

'Always a pleasure to surpass your expectations William and even more so to surpass your farfetched imaginings. God knows yours imaginings are quite extraordinary to begin with' Brad said

As intoxicating as it was to swim with Brad Pip was now also river bound so the whole family was soaked. Even though Brad had long since thrown his boots far up above the jetty he and I were still fully dressed and I was becoming too cold even for him to keep warm so we climbed up the jetty ladder and trudged inside.

I lit the fire. Something I automatically did at home, at my parents place, up the swamp - anywhere there a functioning fireplace, wood and I was cold. Dad had taught me from a young age how to light fire well and it had stuck with me. Soon enough it was raging the heat spread quickly through the hut.

I still had to stand almost directly in front of it in dry clothes to return to normal temperature. I was a fire sitter. You know those people that back right the fuck up on a fireplace or heater like it's snowing.

Brad was wearing a loose fitting pair of white Stag track pants. The kind that had no elastic at the bottom of the pant leg and a red singlet, which I am sure he picked out specifically for my pleasure. Then I remembered I had packed his pack and included that singlet for that reason so could hardly hold it against him.

'You know how to mix the sprays up Wills?' he asked turning the hob on again to make a hot drink for me as he had a beer in his other hand.

'Kind of. Dad has instructions written in marker pen on each container but I usually just go for mega poison little chance of weed survival' I replied

'Yeah I have seen the devastation left around your place, I think you actually killed a tree with whatever spray cocktail you use Wills. It was falling into the creek beside your deck' he said grinning at me 'Yeah that was sad. The wind picked up and that is unfortunately the last thing you to happen when you are using almost pure poison and zero water' I said

Shaking his head 'I'll mix the spray then, we can't be killing of the native flora just the invasive shit'

Brad handed me a herbal tea. The thoughtful beast had actually grabbed my teas before we left of which I was oblivious. And I was thinking I was the one switched on to the whole packing of important things. It was a reflection of his thoughtfulness. Amongst his excitement to leave on this adventure he still thought of the small things I enjoyed and made sure they were packed. God knows if I was to consume coffee or alcohol the entire time I would a fucking wild lunatic. More than usual anyway.

I sipped my tea and sat on the edge of the deck with Pippin snuggling into the side of my thigh. I chatted away to her in Finnish for quite some time while Brad dutifully read Dad's spray to water ratios and mixed the tank up. We had a pump powered by a twelve-volt car battery that propelled the spray a fair distance making easy work of an open area like a pond. The tank, pump and battery sat in a small punt that was left under the hut for spraying. We would wear waders one of us pushing the punt the other spraying.

'All done, we just need to wait for the water to siphon into the spray tank out of the hut water tank' Brad said fastening the latches on the spray fish bin.

'Kiitos. Olet kaunis kaveri.' I said easily, forgetting I was addressing Brad ad not Pip who as a dog had no idea what I meant in English anyway.

'And that translated to the only language I speak other than your body is?'

'Um Thanks you're a beautiful guy' I said '...that's the literal sense but figuratively, which is how I meant it, it means thanks you beautiful bloke'

Brad shrugged 'It sounds sweeter when you say it in Finnish. No wonder people get confused learning new languages. I'm surprised you have taught Pip commands in it instead of having lengthy one sided conversations with her in it.' He laughed at his own humour.

I regarded him casually 'Well until you have a dog of your own Brad you will never be able to understand the silent way they speak back to you. The frequency of their existence is always interaction with your own frequency. It is a constant communication even if sometimes if use a different language verbally the feelings are the same and that is what she picks up on'

His head fell the smallest fraction 'Yeah well. Well I kinda always wanted a dog, ya know? A lab for sure and not just for retrieving ducks but to be my buddy. I was just never allowed one growing up then where used to live up until recently the section was to small for a Lab and I had no time to give to properly raise one.'

'You know B. I'm getting a new pup at the end of the year, I've finally come up on the wait list for this amazing kennel that's breeds the same English stock as Pip. They don't push their bitches to breed and their puppies are immaculate. Pip came from there actually. That is beside the point, you are more than welcome to pick the pup and raise him or her Brad styles' I said. All of it was true. I had wanted a new Puppy so that they could learn some of Pip's traits and she would have a puppy to play with. It had been planned well before I had my reunion with Brad but his admission seemed the perfect time to announce it.

Cue child on Christmas morning. Eyes popping and actually jumping around Brad was ecstatic.

'YUS! I accept fatherhood of future Puppy. How much do they cost - it sounds weird to say that - I don't care how much anyway - I wish it was now - fuck this is awesome Wills - how is it you are legit the best boyfriend partner future husband ever' he coughed himself to silence looking terrified.

Looking like he had admitted cold blooded murder of an infant child he immediately started making excuses for the future husband mention.

'...I mean we don't have to get married ha ha ah I'm just psyched about the puppy that's probably why I said that' he was looking everywhere but at me.

'So you don't want to be my future husband?' I offered

Sweeping his eyes into mine 'I do' he said shyly '...do you'

'I do' I dove up onto him wrapping my legs around his waist and arms around his neck kissing him '...looks like we've already said our I Dos we're stuck with each other now'

Whispering into my ear 'Just because I know you will marrying me doesn't mean when the time is right at some point down the tract of our relationship I won't propose properly in the most beautiful way that you deserve. Though for now I think we can just be happy knowing that we are forever each others. A proposal really would stir things up with the relatives' Brad said still with his face splitting smile

'I heard you this morning saying that one day I would be in front of you saying I Do and be honest I would say it to you anytime, I would marry you now because I know I will be with you forever. But legalities like that have stigma and time associations. We can wait. Though you're welcome to get me a ring for the empty ring finger so all those guys chasing me know I'm taken' I laughed as I said the last bit but Brad's eyes blacked over.

'You are right. There needs to be some physical symbol on your sweet body that lets people know that you are taken. I'll get you a pre-engagement ring babe. We should get them for each other. Like a non-Christian commitment ring' Brad had forgotten about the overflowing siphon which I bent in half to switch off. '...The first rings should be basic titanium rings to show commitment and monogamy to each other. Then well that will your surprise'

I looked at my ring finger imagining the first ring glistening in its rightful position.

'Don't get to carried away Wills, you've at the very least got to wait until we return to get our commitment ones. Let's not get caught up in this and forget to spray' Brad said

I tied Pip up inside so she wouldn't be swimming in spray. Happy to just chill near the fire she lay down and followed us out with her eyes not actually moving her head.

Brad load the tank and spray unit into the punt symmetrically so as that it wouldn't tip over and walked forward leading the way. I wadered onwards behind him pushing the punt it was an easy task, buoyant on the water it slid along smoothly with hardly any effort.

Brad full on trudging out front basically tore a path for me anyway. He was unstoppable that boy. Water up to waist in the centre of the pond he asked me to switch the pump on wand walked outwards with the spray cable. Once the pressure built up he systematically drenched every single part of the entire pond and surrounding area in spray. With enough expectorant to get through even the waxiest weeds. That place would be a tomb for weeds in a week.

Pulling the punt backwards as he sprayed his way out meaning a path would be there when we next arrived. Ducks loved clear water and that had now been provided in surplus by Brad and his liberal spraying - yet he made specific effort to miss the natives and tree. Adept with his manoeuvrings he had completed the task with such efficiency that nor Cory or Dad together or apart could have achieved it.

Though it was still green and lively now by the time we left for home for good it would for sure be showing signs of death and some photo evidence would be great so I had taken photos of the entire system that had taken place. Dad would be fucking delighted deeply. He always felt jobs like this weighed down on his shoulders while he worked the calving season. Now it had been completed to perfectionist standard a la Brad.

Storing the punt back under the hut and all the equipment back in it's fish containers I noticed Brad stunk of spray. Doing it rather irresponsibly in his singled he needed a shower to get the poison off.

He's want to dive back in the river with the hopes of another romantic escapade and I too would love nothing more than diving in with him. But I geared the shower pump up and califont up instead running a warm-semi-sizzling shower for him.

'You think I'm getting in there by myself. No way my graceful hunk of gorgeous human. Come on' he said stripping me and pulling me in with him. I darted out for a raw lemon and cut it so I could alkalize his skin with it's juice.

'Wadda doin?' he asked as I squeezed the lemon juice over his body and rinsed it off with soap.

'You needed something detoxifying and alkalizing to get rip of the poison on your skin. Now you smell like yourself with the hint of flowers' I said smiling kissing his back muscles.

'God Wills you always thinking about my health. I don't think anyone has ever cared so much about my actual full health as you' he said each word dripping with love.

'Well I want you alive long time hunk bloke so get used to it' I said rinsing the last bit of foam off his body.

'You go for gold, do what you gotta do. I wanna be alive with you for as long as possible and if you can keep me well longer then I ain't complaining' Brad said relaxed. The citrus really did soothe tired muscles and his were exceptionally tired.

'Arms up' I said holding his towel

Brad looked at me quizzically but abided raising his arms. I gently and lovingly dried him off from top to bottom then put him to bed naked and high. Blazed he snoozed and I cozied into him and relaxed into existential thought.

The intimate act of drying Brad off and getting him blazed naked then dressing him and giving him and massage rolled his consciousness in a tight wrap of sleep and relation. Though he wasn't truly peaceful in bed until I joined him to think existentially. As soon as I was in the bed his automatic big spoon mechanisms took over and in unconscious arms pulled me back into his chest and hard cock. His nose nuzzling into the back of neck and warm breath tingling my skin.

I guess my existential thoughts were more based on Brad that afternoon. His body and his ways captured different aspects of imagination. As did our future wedding. I could not help but imagine what that would be, perfect with our character reflected in it.

I remembered our earlier dip in the river and his heroic boot laden attempt to save my mind cleansing dive then our kisses and under and above water breath transfer kissing. One of the most romantic and swamp task accomplished days I'd had. Thanks wholly to the man drenching me with his body