Chapter Four: Running with Scissors
"Oh my god!" I said jumping out of Hunter's bed. "Come back to bed Drew," He said sleepily. "Come back to...? Oh hell no. Hunter did you...Oh my god. Did you drug me?" I asked him spazzing out. "What? No," He said appalled at the thought. "I bet you did," I said whirling around. "I saw this same thing on Dateline and 20/20, You know Barbara Walters don't lie. She may have had a lisp but she doesn't lie." "Drew, calm down," Hunter said grabbing my shoulders. "Calm down? Hunter, you just fucked the hell out of a married guy and you expect me to calm down?" I asked him. I had no idea why I was spazzing out like this but it seemed like the right thing to do. "Yeah, pretty much," He said laughing. "Look, Drew calm down." He rubbed my back. "Gotta go," I said running out the room naked. I walked back in. "I will leave when I get dressed." ******************************************* Lauren, Skylar, and Taylor sat at the dinning table eating breakfast. "Skye, tell your father to please pass the syrup," Lauren said to her son. "Dad, mom said pass the syrup," Skylar said with a sigh. It had been like this all morning. "Tell your mom that she come over here and get it herself," Taylor said sipping on his coffee. "Tell your father I said to stop acting like a pompous asshole and pass me the syrup," She said through clenched teeth. "Dad.." "I will after I masturbate to the flick later," Taylor retorted. "And this is where I exit," Skylar said getting up and heading to the door. "I will be next door." "I can't believe you would say that in front of our son," Lauren spat. "You really are a dumbass." "You really are a controlling bitch," Taylor said biting his toast. "Fuck you," Lauren said angrily. "If you really wanna," He said getting up. "I so can not stand you," She said also getting up and heading to the bedroom. Taylor went to answer the phone. "Hell house," Taylor said as he answered. " Taylor, it's Greg," the voice said. Lauren's father and the master of hell for Taylor. Taylor sucked in air. "Oh, that whole hell house thing was just a joke," Taylor said quickly. "I don't really think this is hell house." "Okay, anyway...I was calling to invite you and My daughter down for a few days," Greg said. "Oh...Greg...Now is not a good time for us to visit," Taylor said nervously. "Maybe I should rephrase," Greg said clearing his throat. "That wasn't a request, Taylor." "Okay, See you in two days," Taylor said with a gulp. ******************************************* Cameron Walked into the kitchen and noticed his mother sitting sipping coffee. "Morning Mom," He said. She rolled her eyes. "I am not speaking to you," She said drinking more of her coffee. "Okay," He said pouring Some OJ. Amy looked at him in shock. "You snapped at your mother and you don't even care?" She asked him. "Mom, I was upset," Cameron said with a scoff. "I mean what more can I say?" "An apology would be a start," She said folding her arms. "And a nice lunch before I leave would be greatly appreciated. But let's start with that apology first." "Okay," Cameron said agitated. "Mom, I am sorry. I am sorry that you brought the one guy I can not stand on polo drive into my own home and rambled on about my secrets like some drunk in a bar. I'm sorry that I revealed your actual age. I guess the botox must have been wearing off." Amy gasped. "Now, how about that lunch?" Amy Moore was shocked. But she was also impressed. "Thank you for that...Unique apology," She said clearing her throat. "It was insulting and sincere at the same time." "You're welcome," Cameron said kissing her on the cheek. "Now how do you feel about the olive garden?" "No, Italians steal," Amy said pouring more coffee. "Mom, Daniel is Italian," Cameron said in shock. "I know," She said in a matter of fact tone. "I caught him eyeing that autographed baseball on your mantle." "Okay, Well Mexican is out because Jennifer Lopez's performance in 'Gigli' pissed you off," Cameron said grabbing muffins. "And anything oriental is out because you hate people that speak in broken English. So what else is there?" "I haven't had a Big Mac in awhile," She said with a smile. "How about Burger King?" "Mcdonald's mom," Cameron Corrected. ******************************************* "You smell weird," Brent stated as I lay on the bed. He was sniffing me. "What? Am I married to a German Shepherd now?" I asked pushing him away. "Oh my god," He said jumping up. "I know that smell." "What?" I asked nervously. I knew I should have showered before I lay back down. "You have been....Cleaning," He said with a look of horror. "Huh?" I asked confused. "Why do I even bother paying for the help if you are gonna clean?" He asked. "I mean you smell like sweat. At least you are doing something meaningful around here." If he was thinking I cleaned, I might as well go along with it. "What can I say?" I asked him. "I guess watching the illegal alien clean rubbed off on me." "Jeloni is a legal alien," Brent said. "At least I hope so. I don't wanna go to jail for giving illegal aliens jobs." "Let's send his ass right back to La cocaracha and hire someone American," I said. "They do so much better jobs and aren't as creepy." Brent Laughed. "Well, since you like to clean so much we will let Jeloni have a few weeks off and let you have at it," Brent said. I shook my head. "Trust me when I say this," I said looking in his eyes. "What I did was a one time thing." I hoped. ********************************************* "I knew you couldn't refuse the Hunter Lovin," He said as he zipped his pant. "Okay, couple of things," I said. "First, don't call this thing we got going on 'Hunter Lovin'. And second, this thing we got going on has gotta stop." "Why Drew?" He asked me. "The way I see it, we both are getting something out of this. You especially." "Okay, there are two problems here," I said folding my arms. "I am married and you aren't gay." "I have to be gay," Hunter said. "After all, we have had sex together. More than once." "Hunt, do you feel any sexual or romantic feelings to me or any other man at all?" I asked him. "No," He said. "In fact, when we have sex it's like the sex is a way to realize my anger." "And you are angry about Corey?" I asked him as I dressed. "Yeah," He said looking down. "So...I'm not gay." "Don't sound so miserable," I said with a laugh. "It's not all cross dressing and Richard simmons as you think. It's a lot more faggy." "Come on, I will walk you home," He said leading me to the door. "I wonder what is taking Corey so long to get home." "Could it be that he is having oh so much fun at the Lopez's pool?" I asked pointing to the pool. Hunter and I saw Corey jumping up on the diving board. "What the hell?" He asked confused. "What the hell is he doing over there?" I took that as my cue to leave. "This is where I exit," I said as I turned towards my house. Hunter hurried over to the Lopez. He opened the fence without even announcing himself. "Hunter," Carlos said in shock at his arrival. "What are you doing here?" "What am I doing here? What is my son doing here? I told you to bring him home when you guys got back, Not when you felt like it," Hunter said with a glare. "Dad," Corey said blushing. "Hunter, I thought you may have needed some more time to cool down so I let him stay over here for awhile longer," Carlos tried to explain. "I can think for myself so I don't need you to think for me," Hunter said with a tight smile. Then he stopped smiling. "I know what this is. You two are trying to turn my son against me." "Mr. Barham, we are not trying to turn Corey against you," Joey said nervously. "No one asked you Joseph," Hunter said shortly. "Don't talk to him that way," Carlos said angrily. "He was just trying to help. No one is trying to Turn Corey against you. You can do that all by yourself." "Yes, you are," Hunter said indignantly, "Corey, we are leaving. Let's go." "But Dad..." Corey pleaded. "I am trying to save what little dignity I have," Hunter whispered grabbing Corey's arm. "I forbid for Joseph to play with Corey ever again." "Dad, do something," Joey said to his father. Carlos was shocked at how Hunter was acting. "Hunter, maybe we can talk this out before we make any hasty decisions," Carlos said trying to reason. "Good Day, Mr. Lopez," Hunter said turning to leave. 'Hunter...If you would just listen..." "I said good day," Hunter said storming off. Corey shot a wistful look back at the lopez's as Joey waved tears in his eyes. ********************************************* "Why do I have to see Grandpa Greg and Grandma Victoria?" Skylar asked his parents as they drove to Lauren's family's house. "Because by e marrying your mother, they became your grandparents," He said. "Sorry Scout. "There is nothing wrong with my parents," Lauren said offended. "They made you come in the house at 7 when you were 16," He scoffed. "They were very concerned," She said folding her arms. "Yes because Colorado is the ghetto," He muttered sarcastically. "Not everyone's parents can be liberals like you," She spat. "I mean what parents go out an buy their teenage son condoms. No wonder you are so messed up now." "They did not want to become grandparents," Taylor said defensively. "You could have easily avoided that by not having sex at all, dumbass," She said. "Well, at least my family are democrats," He muttered and Lauren gasped. "Are you two going to get divorced?" Skylar asked quietly. They looked at one another. Yes, Taylor said he wanted the divorce but is it what he really wanted? "I don't know Scout," He said shaking his head. "If you love each other why are you always arguing?" He asked curiously. "Because your father is obsessed with big breast," Lauren said at the same time Taylor said, "Because your mom is a controlling bitch." "God, take me now," Skylar muttered as they continued arguing. ********************************************* "This was nice," Amy said as she and Cameron were sitting in Mcdonald's. "I can't believe you are going home," He said. "Even though you made me mad, I am so gonna miss you." "I know sweetie but Mommy's horny," She said making Cameron blush. "Mom!" He scolded. "I forgot sweetie," She said with a shrug. "God, If you would be open-minded..." "I am open-minded except to my parents escapades," Cameron said rolling his eyes. "And what escapades they are," She said dreamily as a guy from Polo Drive walked up to the table. "Cameron Moore?" He asked cautiously. Cameron smiled. "Yes," He said pleasantly. "I'm George and I live on the same street as you," He said and Cameron nodded. "Yes, I recognize you from the neighborhood watch meetings," Cameron said. "I just came to tell you that I was ashamed that you were running a brothel on our street," George said. "What?" Amy and Cameron asked in shock. "Don't act surprised," George said with distasteful look. "Is this your son?" "Yes it is," Amy said proudly. Cameron was in shock still. "What kinda of son did you raise, lady?" He demanded. "I have kids. They shouldn't be exposed to all that premarital Debauchery. I think you should be ashamed." And with that he walked off. "Oh my god," Cameron said still reeling. "Who in the world would start a crazy rumor like that?" Amy asked as she finished the last of her drink up. Cameron noticed George was speaking with Daniel outside the restaurant. "I have my ideas," He muttered as Daniel smiled at him. ********************************************* "Drew!" Xavier said pounding on the door. "Drew! Open up." I opened the door. "I'm not deaf," I said flashing him a wary glance. "What's wrong?" "Is Brent home?" He asked me. "No, he went...I don't remember I wasn't paying attention," I said shaking my head. "Oh, there is a new neighbor down the street and he is hot," Xavier said with a smile. "You think he's hot?" I asked amused. "Are you sure that you aren't into guys?" "Trust me," He said shoving me playfully. "Anyway, I was just letting you know because you might wanna check him out. I don't know how it is that you...look for your guys to cheat with. I should be going." "Thanks X," I said as he jogged across the street to his house. I saw the guy walking into the house. He had some biceps on him. I felt an instant lustful feeling. "I am a married man. I can't keep cheating on my husband." He took his shirt off and tossed it on the porch. Why God? "Aw! Screw that." With that, I walked over to introduce myself. **************************************** "Taylor! Lauren!" Victoria exclaimed as she hugged her daughter and Taylor tightly. "Hey Victoria," Taylor said strained. "Tay, I have always told you to call me Mom," She said. Taylor didn't want to call her mom because he already had one. "Hey...Mom," He said looking away. "Hey Scout!" Greg said hugging his grandson. "Hey Grandpa!" Skylar said excitedly. "Got any money?" "Skye," Lauren Chided. "Hey Dad!" "Hey Sweetheart," Greg said kissing her lightly. "Taylor." "Greg," Taylor said with a tight smile. Victoria slid Skylar A 100-dollar bill. "Let's keep that our little secret," She said giving him a kiss. "So how about a game of Charades." "Sounds like fun, Mom," Lauren said pulling Taylor along behind her. "Give us a sec." Greg looked on Curiously. "What is it?" Taylor asked. He really didn't feel like talking to her. She put a hand up and walked back up to get Skylar. "Strategy," She muttered. "What is so important?" Taylor asked. "Yeah Mom, I have to pee," Skylar said dancing in spot. "Cool it, Fred Astaire," She said. "While we are here we are to appear happy and loving. Like the Cleavers." "Who are the cleavers?" Skylar asked. "Just don't let them know that we are having problems, sweetie," She said. "Now go handle your business." She waited until Skylar was out of earshot. "That means that you better be the perfect husband or so help me I will kill you in your sleep. Understand." "Bite me," Taylor said. "Understand?" He walked back into the living room to the curious faces of Victoria and Greg. "Who's ready to play?" Lauren asked nervously. *************************************** Cameron noticed Daniel was sitting on his porch and decided to walk over. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He demanded. Daniel looked over at him with amusement. "What are you talking about, Cam?" He asked with a smile. "You are telling people that I am running a brothel?" Cameron asked. "Oh my god you are?" Daniel asked feigning shock. "What the hell is wrong with you, Cameron?" "Don't play dumb," Cameron said with a scoff. "I know you are behind this." "Try and prove it," Daniel challenged just as "Oh, I will find some way to prove it," Cameron said. "And when I do...." "CAMERON MOORE!" Tammy yelled as she walked towards the two. "Somebody's in trouble," Daniel sung as Cameron flashed him a look. "How dare you lead me on when you are a homosexual?" She asked him. "What?" He asked. "DANIEL!" "What? I didn't know you were gay," Daniel said with a shrug. "It explains why you and Audrey didn't work out." "I'm not gay," Cameron said to her. They both gave him a skeptical look. "I'm not." "If you say so," Daniel said in his singsong voice. "Well, I am not mad," Tammy said with a sigh. "You're cute but at least we can go scouting for guys." "I'm not gay," Cameron said exasperated. "Dude, admit it," Daniel said. "Hey, Tammy, I have a gay cousin. Maybe the four of us can have dinner together." "That is sweet, Daniel," Tammy said. "Cameron why don't we do that? Say on Tuesday?" Cameron knew he wasn't gay but he couldn't say no to Tammy. Plus, he didn't want Daniel alone with Tammy and he going to get him back. "Sure," Cameron said uneasily. "I hope he is cute."
Down the street, I stood talking to my new neighbor. "Josh it is so cool that you moved here to Polo Drive," I said touching my head. "We should do something real soon." "Really?" He asked me. "Yeah, My husband won't mind if I make a new friend," I said turning on the sex appeal. "Husband?" He asked me. "I should have known a cute guy like you was already taken."
"I didn't say all that," I said flashing him a sexy smile. "We will be talking again real soon." "What makes you so sure?" He teased. "Let's just say I'm psychic," I said turning to walk off. I could feel him watching me as I left. ************************************* Things had been going great at Greg and Victoria's. Taylor, Lauren, and Skylar portrayed the perfect family. But Victoria's topic at dinner, was sure gonna change that. "Have you two thought about more kids?" She asked them. Greg, Lauren, and Taylor choked on their dinner. "What?" They asked in Unison. "I mean, I love Skye with all my heart but I have always wanted a grand-daughter to shop for and with, and to teach how to cook," She said. "Lauren, I told you I wanted one of each." "Yeah, I want a sister," Skylar said. "I can beat her up and..." Taylor and Lauren flashed him a silencing glare. "And I will be in the living room." He got up and left. "I don't think we should push kids onto them right now," Greg said to his wife. "Finally, the man says something I can agree with," Taylor thought. "Yeah, I mean we have a lot going on right now," Lauren said realizing she just walked into a trap. "What is going on?" Victoria asked. "Is it money?" "No," Lauren said with a sigh. "Is it medical?" She drilled more. "No," Taylor said. "Oh my god! Will someone talk to me here?" She demanded. "Did you tell her that you two were getting a divorce?" Skylar asked as he went to get something to drink. "Oh my god," Lauren muttered and placed her face in her hands. "What is your problem?" Taylor asked her. "You act like it is gonna kill us to get a divorce." "Nobody in our family has gotten a divorce," Lauren said angrily. "Well, the men are dumb because it seems like every generation of females turn out to be controlling bitches!" Taylor yelled. "And I am not the one who masturbates to girls on video and DVD," She retorted. Lauren and Taylor realized that Skylar, Greg, and Victoria were staring at them. Skylar looked embarrassed. Victoria looked like she could faint any moment. Greg looked as if he wanted to kill one of them and by one of them...Taylor. "Let's go pack," Taylor said getting up to get his stuff. "Right behind you," She said pulling Skylar along leaving to very shocked parents. ************************************ "Brent, why do you have to go to New York?" I asked him. "Because I have obligations drew," He said with a sigh. "Stop thinking of yourself for once and think about my client." "The client who dismembered his wife and the man she was sleeping with?" I asked him. "Yeah, he has a special place in my heart. "Just know I will do worse if you ever cheat on me," He said grabbing his cellphone and bags. "I gotta go, babe. Taxis' waiting." "Are you gonna be back in time for or Anniversary?" I asked him. He sighed and turned around. "No, Drew," He said. "Stop acting like a faggot because it really is getting annoying. I will call you." "When is it?" I asked him. He sighed again. "Next Tuesday, right?" He asked.
"It's Thursday," I said angrily. "Drew," He said realizing he made a mistake. "Have fun in New York," I said walking back up the steps here. "Don't worry about calling on Tuesday or Thursday because I will be having fun here." "Drew," He said again but I slammed the door in his face. ************************************* Hunter walked upstairs. Corey had been eating whenever he felt like because he wasn't talking to Hunter yet again. Someone girl had called for him but he figured he was sleep. When he made it to the door, the phone rang. "Hello," He said. "Hunter, it's Carlos," He said quickly. "Why are you calling?" Hunter asked. "Please don't hang up," Carlos pleaded. "What's wrong?" Hunter asked noticing the fear in his voice. "I was wondering if Joey was there," Carlos said. "He is not here." "No, he's not," Hunter said knocking on Corey's door as he opened it. "And neither is Corey." He dropped the phone and stared into the empty room and out the window his son had climbed out of. **************************************** For all my As The Eyes Have It junkies, I apologize that it took so long. This is episode four and I am hoping to get hopefully two more up by Christmas time. Wow, Corey and Joey ran away. Brent forgot when his anniversary is, Drew met a new hunk, Taylor and Lauren embarrass themselves, and Cameron has to play gay. Wow! Polo Drive is very complex. In Episode Five, Hunter is forced to work with Carlos to find Corey and Joey. Taylor and Lauren argue over who should move out. Cameron is forced to play gay in order to get back at Daniel. Drew and Josh are getting closer and Drew comes to the conclusion that Brent may be cheating on him via Xavier.
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