ARLAN GETS LESSONS
"Wow, that was one crazy movie, alright!"
"Wasn't it? I have more, but you get the idea."
"Tell me, what got you to start eating men's shit in the first place, Arlan?"
"As funny as it may seem, it was my wife. See, I came from an isolated farm. I lived with my Aunt and Uncle and I was very innocent. Sex was never discussed at home and I had no friends my own age. I sorta discovered masturbation, of course, but by the time I was 18 I had no idea about fucking and marriage. Along comes this rich city gal about ten years older than me. Her car had broken down and I helped her fix it. In return, she got me in the back seat and got my pants down. Well, as you noticed, I'm quite well hung."
"That's an understatement. You're huge!"
"She went crazy over it and decided she had to have it all the time. She talked me into running off and getting married. She taught me about sex and it was great. Thing was, she taught me more than most people ever do. She was a nympho with strange tastes. By strange I mean everything under the sun. On our wedding night she jammed fingers up my ass while we fucked, got me to fuck her in the asshole and lick it afterward. Then she sucked my dirty cock and licked my asshole. Damndest thing was she wanted me to piss in her mouth! So I did...what did I know?"
"Whew, that's one wild lady!"
"On our third night she said we should have a dinner party and she invited two fellows over that she was friends with. I told her I didn't know anything about manners or entertaining and I didn't want to embarrass her. She said just to follow her lead. She said the most important thing is hospitality. Nothing else matters. So we have dinner and go into the living room for drinks. Well, I never drank before that and I got pretty snockered early on.
"At one point I stumbled into the bathroom to take a leak. She was in there with one of the guys. I was so blithered I hadn't even noticed they were gone. Anyway, he's sitting on the toilet completely naked and she's kneeling there sucking his cock and balls! I said, `Oh, excuse me' and turned to leave. But she called me back."
Arlan, come here, darling. You can help. Phil has just taken a shit and it's our duty to show him our best hospital- ity. Come kneel here with me. Phil, raise your legs and show Arlan the condition of your asshole. See, darling? She reached in with her hands and spread the guy's asshole. See how much shit Phil has around his asshole? I said yes, I could see it very clearly. Well, I think we should lick it off for him, dear. You go first, then I will.
"I couldn't figure how hospitality included that, but my Aunt and Uncle never had a dinner party, and when they had friends over I never saw them go into the bathroom. I scooched forward on my knees and tentatively stuck my face up there."
See, now doesn't that stink something awful? We can't let him run around like that. Lick it, sweetheart. Lick Phil's shitty asshole.
"It sure did stink. I glanced up at Phil. He was sitting there with his legs propped up, acting as if it was the most natural thing for us to do. He even had a big grin on his face. So I figured it was hospitality and I started licking it. I did it slowly and carefully, making sure to get as much of the shit off as I could. I hadn't been at it more than a minute before she eased me aside and took over. She lapped that dirty crack up and down and pried his hole open so she could stick her tongue up his hole. She really went at it! Then I realized it should be done the same way she taught me in bed."
Like that. The way I showed you how to eat my ass out, remember? Part of hospitality is also making a friend feel real good. Was that feeling good, Phil?
That was feeling marvelous, April, he said.
"Then she told me to try it that way. I took a deep breath and plunged in. I fluttered all around his hole, like she'd taught me, then sucked on it. I pried it open and shoved my tongue up inside. She'd just licked it out, but it was still all shitty so I dug in as deep as I could. But it kept getting worse. Then I realized Phil was straining, pushing more down to the opening. I looked up at him in surprise and he said, Guess you'd might as well get it all while you're down there, Arlan. With that, he squeezed a big mouthful of soft shit out of his ass and into my mouth! I backed away and turned to April."
Eat it, sweetheart! Swallow it right down. We don't want to offend Phil by spitting it out, do we? He's our guest and we're very happy to eat his shit. Here, let me get some. You just push as much of that gooey crap right into my mouth, Phil. We'll have your old shithole sparkling clean in no time!
"Phil pulled his legs back and really bore down. A couple of inches of mushy shit came out of his ass. April glued her mouth over it quickly and slurped it up! Phil pushed some more out while she was sucking his hole. I could tell it was a large amount because April's cheeks were bulging. While she proceeded to work it down her throat she pointed at his ass for me to check for any more. I moved in quickly for fear it might fall onto the floor."
Aw, suck it, Arlan! Must have miscalculated and had a lot more up there than I first thought.
"He pulled his legs back more and reached down to hold my head against his asshole. Then he shit a tremendous amount into my mouth! Being held there, I gulped quickly to swallow it before any more came out. But he was watching me and waited until I finished eating it before shitting another bunch out. Then April finished cleaning him and licking out his hole and we went into the living room. Austin was sipping his drink."
Well, where have you folks been, he asked pleasantly. April informed him, Phil just took a shit so Arlan and I were clean- ing him out. Austin nodded. April, you're one of the finest hostesses going. And Arlan's certainly a lucky guy to have you guide him into society. Say, you know, I think I need to take a big shit, too. Should I wait until you've finished your drinks or just take my time and call you in?
"He got up and staggered a bit, so he sat back down. Whew, guess I've had a few!
Oh, listen, you just stay right where you are and take your pants off, Austin. We don't want you banging into anything and hurting yourself. Arlan and I can take care of you right here. Hang your butt over the edge of the couch and pull your knees way back so your asshole spreads nice and wide. You lay there and be comfortable.
Well, that's awfully swell of you two. You're gonna have a terrific marriage!
"Austin flung his legs back and stuck out this horrible looking hairy asscrack. His hole was very large, very dark, and was giving me the willies. I was about to ask April if this hospitality business wasn't a little extreme when she urged me to start this time."
You first, honey. That big hairy hole probably stinks quite a bit and you should have first chance to smell and enjoy it. Sniff all around there and tell me how delightful it is.
"Delightful? It was pretty rank! I wondered if city folks had different ideas about going visiting. Back on the farm we'd take a bath for times like that. Austin's buttcrack was moist and sweaty. I couldn't exactly see any shit because of all the dark hair, but I knew it was going to make my head spin even more than it already was. Anyway, I nosed in there and sniffed like April said. She said to keep going, so I smelled it up and down. When she asked, I said it smelled about ten times more pungent than Phil's had and wondered why it weren't drawing flies! She said, Oh, that's marvelous! Let me enjoy that too, darling."
"We sniffed it together a while longer then Austin said his turd would be along fairly soon. April said in that case we oughta lick his crack real quick. So we traded off lapping up and down his stinky asscrack, licking up the sweat and gunk that had collected there. I couldn't figure why we were bothering when we'd only have to do it all over again, but I sighed and followed April's lead. Phil jumped up and remarked that he knew how Austin sometimes got and just because we were the hosts we shouldn't get all the dirty work. He said I should have an incentive, seeing as how I was a beginner at hosting, and asked if I had to take a shit. I said no, I don't think so."
Well, pull your pants down in back anyway, and I'll see if I can make your hole feel good while you're busy with that.
"April said that was a fantastic idea, and helped me slip my pants down over my rump. I had no idea what he had in mind, but any assistance would be appreciated. April and I had a tongue on either side of Austin's big asshole when I felt Phil's wet tongue tickling my anus! It felt wonderful. April had taught me to really enjoy that, and Phil was certainly good at it, too. He licked my buttcrack all over and sucked on my asshole. I spread my legs and let him have all he wanted. A short while later he rammed his tongue up my ass, and it was a good thing because Austin's hole was opening up and a big brown turd was slowly coming out! Again, I followed April's lead and began to lick along the length of his turd. When it got to be about 4 or 5 inches long, April said it was time."
Go ahead, Arlan, you need the practice. Put your mouth over the end of Austin's turd and start eating it. It looks like it's gonna be a long one. Eat as much as you can then I'll gobble down the rest of it.
"Gobble down? Make my hole feel good? It was all sounding very strange for something that was only supposed to be good manners. I noticed it didn't stink much more than his ass already did, so I twisted my head down and took the end into my mouth. I sucked on it a little to see how it tasted. It wasn't all that bad, and even tasted a trifle better than Phil's had, so I started in. Well, Phil's might have been a little more sour, but it was soft and easy to eat. If I was gonna get Austin's turd down, I knew I had to start chewing it pretty soon."
Bite it, sweetheart. April softly encouraged me.
You got a fine tastin' ass here, Arlan! Phil suddenly remarked, stabbing his tongue back up my hole. Then Austin got awfully excited for some reason.
Don't know how long I can hold it in, Arlan. CHEW THAT MUTHERFUCKER! GO FOR IT, PAL. EAT MY FILTHY TURD! SWALLOW THAT STINKING SHIT FROM MY ASSHOLE! GOBBLE UP THAT HOT, SMELLY CRAP! You're a dear friend, April, but I just love to take a shit in man's mouth!
Well, my dear husband's up to the challenge, Austin. You don't have to be rude. Phil, reach between Arlan's legs and check out the meat he's got hanging.
Wowie! Must be gigantic when it gets hard. After you finish off that turd, Arlan, I'd sure like to suck that for you.
I think because of Austin's rude outbursts, Arlan should shove it right up his asshole after we eat his turd. You can suck it after that, Phil.
That'd be swell! I'll just play with it while I suck his ass out and get it nice and hard.
"Phil had a nice touch. With his tongue in my ass and his hand fondling my privates, I was feeling much better. My prick started to get hard right away, and that made me eager to put it to use. It also made Austin's turd a lot more interesting. I started to munch my way up the growing thing, chewing his shit faster and making good time. Too good, for April. I guess she felt obliged to contribute and made me snap it off and move back. I pushed my ass tighter to Phil's face and watched her wrap her lips over Austin's dangling turd and go to town on it! She had that crap devoured and was sucking it from his asshole before I had finished the big mouthful I had. The weirdest thing was, with my cock hard and tingling I felt a little disappointed that his shit was all gone. I was really getting to like the taste!"
"That's incredible, Arlan. You realize she rooked you into the whole thing, right?"
"Sure. I kinda figured it out when things progressed rapidly after that. Austin didn't put up a fuss at all when he got a look at my honker. He said go slow and easy, because he wanted it all up there without getting wrecked. I eased it in and his eyes rolled back and his prick immediately got real hard. Phil took his pants off again and climbed onto the couch. He stuck his cock into Austin's mouth, and Austin sucked on it without complaining. April leaned over and started sucking on Austin. I wasn't sure that was proper for a married woman, but then I was fucking her friend and they didn't act like it was out of line. After a while, April suggested I bend down and suck on his prick, too. She said my cock was long enough that I should be able to do it. I didn't know why I should do it, but his prick did look sort of inviting so I pulled by cock out about halfway and went down on him."
Isn't that marvelous, honey? April said, extoling the virtues of cocksucking and pointing out how Austin seemed to enjoy blowing Phil.
"I said it was rather nice, and I'd also like to try sucking on Phil's cock. Well, when Phil heard that he yanked his cock out of Austin's mouth and aimed it at me. I rammed my prick up Austin all the way and took Phil into my mouth. It was prefectly delectable. I decided I liked cocksucking very much. Also, Austin's asshole seemed more readily adjustable to my length than even April's had. I decided I liked fucking men up the ass very much. And while I was at it, I decided that eating turds was something I could adjust to without much problem. Little did I know it would become my life's passion in no time!
"April got behind me and started to lick out my asshole. Phil hopped down and got underneath my balls and started licking them. He also spent a long while licking along my shaft while I fucked Austin. That was a little surprising considering how shitty my cock was getting. But Phil didn't seem to mind in the least. When our screwing was over, he took my dirty cock into his mouth and ate the shit off of it.
"Then April got undressed and layed down so Austin could fuck her. Austin plugged in then asked me to put my ass in his face so he could lick it while they screwed. I backed it up to him and had Phil lay out before me so I could suck his cock some more. Austin got my asshole really warmed up with his tongue and started sticking fingers up me. I flinched, but April had taught me how to enjoy it, so I soon relaxed and let him probe me. April said I should let Phil fuck me up the ass. I said okay, and soon decided I liked getting fucked up the asshole. When Phil pulled out, Austin grabbed his cock and licked it clean while Phil licked my asshole. April was cleaning Austin's prick, so I leaned over and helped her.
"After a couple more drinks, I wanted to fuck Phil. He said I was mighty big, but he'd try. He only took about half of it, and said he'd have to get more practice before taking me on again. I understood and pulled out, then I fucked April up the ass. The guys were going to suck my cock clean after that, but April wanted to do it herself.
"A couple of days later, April wanted me and her to shit in each other's mouths. I said fine, I certainly should be able to do that with my own wife if I can do it with men I'd just met. We worked it simultaneously and ate each other's turds. After that, she would call over a few more of her men friends, and even some strangers off the street. We'd have sex with them and more often than not get them to take a shit. April loved eating men's shit, and I was getting to crave it even more than she did. I even picked up a man myself one day in a men's room. I asked if he was going in to take a shit. He said he was, so I said why not come home with me and shit for my wife and I. I said we'd eat his turd and lick out his ass, and he could fuck my wife or me, if he wanted, and we'd both suck on his cock. He said he'd never been propositioned like that before, but it might be an interesting time--he'd never been involved in anything truly filthy before. He asked whether he should wash his ass first. I reminded him we were going to eat his shit, so it hardly mattered. Besides, we both prefer very smelly assholes and thoroughly enjoy smelling and tasting them. He had a terrific time. He fucked us both and even got so excited he sucked on my turd!"
"Well, Arlan, it's been a fascinating story. I enjoyed it, and the movie you made. I just came over to satisfy my curios- ity, but you've got me all boned up so if you'll let me fuck you, I'll take a shit in your mouth."
"That would be swell. I'll do anything you want, you just ask. When I saw you sitting on that park bench I thought, Now, I ain't never sucked the ass of a much older gentleman and eaten his shit, but I'd sure like to give it a try. You said you have great-grandchildren?"
"Yep, four of 'em. I turned 86 just last month and my pecker hasn't been this hard in many years! Besides that, I'd say it's about time to find out how a tongue feels up there!"
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