Todd is trying to make sense of what happened when he came out to his parents.
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Saturday, December 7 The Light of Hope
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed, that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the LORD's hand double for all her sins.
Isaiah 40
Erick was dumbfounded when Todd told him about the dinner. They dissected every sentence, every inflection, every concern. Todd said he would reach out to Tayloe to ask him what was happening. He also needed to tell Tayloe that their parents knew about his sexuality and being in a relationship and that the sky hadn't fallen. Better yet, they hadn't disowned him.
"Are you relieved?"
"Yep, I still find it hard to believe. They have suspected I was gay for a long time but never said anything. They were so in their public persona mode while we were in the restaurant. I wonder what they are thinking this morning?"
"Well, there is one way to find out." Erick grabbed the telephone and handed it to
Todd. Todd took a deep breath and dialed his parent's number. "Hey mom, I just wanted to call and say thanks again for dinner last night. Did you have any problems getting home?" Todd realized he had not taken a breath the entire time he was speaking.
"We are fine. You father is building a fire in the den so we can relax and watch some old movies. His golf game was cancelled because of the weather. May I speak with Dr. Emmanuelson?"
"Sure, let me get him." Todd put his hand over the receiver and told Erick his mother wanted to speak with him. Erick lost all color as he took the receiver in his hand.
"Hello."
"Dr. Emmanuelson, this is Marjorie Reynolds. First, I need to apologize for being short on the telephone yesterday. I was caught by surprise, which is no excuse for bad manners, so I wanted to let you know that I look forward to meeting you. I don't know if Todd told you, but we expect the two of you here for Christmas Day.
"Yes ma'am. Todd told me about Christmas Day. We will be there. May I ask that you call me Erick?"
"Of course, Erick. It will be a wonderful day. Todd knows the routine and can brief you ahead of time. If you have any questions, you just call me and I will fill you in."
"I am sure it will be fine. I look forward to meeting you and Mr. Reynolds. It was nice speaking with you. Let me hand you back to Todd."
Todd and his mother then continued their conversation. After Todd and Erick had finished running their weekly errands and cleaning the apartment, the guys settled in for the afternoon. Somehow, the events from the night before seemed the distant past to Todd and he was looking toward the future. Todd didn't dwell on the past. Erick, on the other hand, tended to fixate on things and dissect them and take them apart for hidden meaning. It took him a long time to ever finalize something and put it out of his mind. They were so opposite in that way.
Erick wondered if Todd's family was always going to take precedence in their relationship. Erick knew that Todd's family was extremely close and they tended to ignore boundaries when they felt it was in the best interest of the family. Erick, however, had one person who mattered most in his life and that was Todd. He realized that was significant because Eron had always been the most important person. Even Eron would have to take the second seat now. At least the secret with Todd's family was out and they no longer had to pretend they weren't a couple. He was trying not to obsess about Christmas Day at the Reynold's home but attempting to get information from Todd was not easy. He deflected talking about the day the same way he deflected talking about money. Erick wondered if Todd had the emotional intelligence to talk about these things or was it possible he was being dismissive? Erick couldn't tell. Erick realized it could drive him crazy if he worried about it. Todd had a fundamental belief that everything would turn out okay.
Todd had Christmas traditions that he held sacrosanct. Erick knew not to tread on them if they were to be a couple. Such was the reason they were listening to 'The Messiah.' Todd knew every word, every solo, every chorus, and every recitative. Todd had lit the Advent candle early and said this was the night when he always listened to the recording. The two men sat in the living room, enjoying a light dinner and a bottle of wine while listening. Todd had pulled the musical score out and wanted Erick to follow along but Erick had declined.
"I just want to listen. Somehow following the score makes me think of this as work instead of pleasure. There is a great oral tradition in Jewish life and we learn to listen intensely to scripture without always reading the words. I will listen intensely."
When the 'Hallelujah Chorus' started, Todd stood. Erick remained seated with his eyes closed listening and swaying in time with the tune. Todd was emotionally drained when the oratorio was finished. He and Erick sat and looked at each other. For Todd, it had been a religious experience that completely drained every ounce of energy he had. For Erick, it had been a well performed piece of music written by Handel. Erick appreciated the religious text but it was Christian in context and not Jewish. He would have enjoyed Mendelsohn's 'Elijah' more if he wanted to listen to religious music. They moved to the dining room table where they did their meditation each evening. Erick looked to Todd to start.
"Today is very important in my family. On December 7, 1941 Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. My great uncle was immediately called up to serve in the military. He had barely arrived in the Philippines when the Bataan march happened. He died on the march. When he left home, he was in remarkably good health and there was always the thought that he had somehow escaped. My grandfather was always bereft that his brother had died so soon in the war. Apparently, my great uncle was a great scholar and had a bright future. My grandfather would always tie black crepe bows on the house columns on December 7th. We didn't have a death date for my great uncle so my papa decided that Pearl Harbor Day was an appropriate day. The bows would go up in the morning and come down in the evening. We all had to be quiet that day. The family never recovered from his death. Maybe because there was no body, there was no funeral, and there was no memorial service that my papa thought one day he would just walk in the door and life would return to normal. It never did. When my papa died, my dad got out the black crepe bows and put them on the columns. My papa's funeral turned out to also be a memorial service for my great uncle. My father said it was time for him to be honored and for his soul to rest in peace. The black crepe bows have never been put out since. I loved my papa; he was so kind to me as a little boy. He always had a piece of hard candy in his pocket and he would ask me questions if I gave him the right answer, I always got the candy. Even then I was a sucker for handsome older men." Todd chuckled.
"My parents didn't talk much about the war. My dad was in Brussels. He was sent there by his family to hide with a Roman Catholic family. He can still recite the Mass by heart. I remember one time he told us about hearing on the radio about the Japanese raid on Pearl Harbor and how excited people were. He didn't understand because it was such a horrible event. He said that only later did he understand the significance of the day and how that brought the United States into the war. All of my relatives were killed in the war. There was no one left. I am in a family with no history but we have each other and of course my parents were so thankful they even survived. We take comfort in that. Of course, if they had not survived, little Erick would not be here tonight."
The fellows held each other's hands as they sat in silence. Bringing up those old memories had put a pall on any happiness for the evening. Todd then stood and extinguished the candle.
They walked to the bedroom where they removed their clothes and hung shirts and pants in the closet, stepped out of their briefs and put them in the hamper and then crawled into bed. Erick kissed Todd on the top of his head and then held his hand. They lay like that for a minute and then Erick rolled over and embraced his lover. They hungrily met each other's needs. After they had taken each other, they lay covered in sweat and semen. Each was too exhausted to go to the shower. Todd pulled Erick into his embrace and they immediately slept comforted and healed by being together.
Suggested Music:
"Comfort, Comfort Ye My People" Composer: G. Frederick Handel Performer: Jerry Hadley https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dDjva1ecYo